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I lost my shit
Episode 6 • 28th August 2024 • Those girls can talk! • Bec Stenner & Michelle Bailey
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In this episode, Michelle and Bec share personal stories, discuss parenting challenges, and chat about trending topics on social media. Bec opens up about the struggles of dealing with her child's prolonged illness and the frustrations with the medical system, and they also talk about their experiences with IVF, a heartwarming story from a fellow IVF journey follower on TikTok, best buys, and upcoming podcast guests.

In this episode:

  • The ongoing health struggle
  • Seeking medical help
  • Breaking point and asking for help
  • Food aversions and parenting challenges
  • TikTok cucumber salad craze
  • Debating MSG health myths and realities
  • TikTok trends and food fads
  • Tara Jordan'sHeartfelt IVF Journey
  • Personal IVF experiences and emotional rollercoasters
  • Best Buys

Links:

Embroyolisse website

Transcripts

Bec:

Welcome to episode six.

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Can you believe it?

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Michelle?

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We're still going.

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Michelle: I know, people

are still listening.

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Bec: Isn't it?

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Oh, hang on.

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Hang on.

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What I do want to say

is congratulations to us

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Michelle: Yay!

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Bec: over 500 downloads.

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Michelle: Honestly, does

that just not blow your mind?

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Bec: Yes.

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Michelle: And, and the thing

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Bec: for 50.

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Michelle: I know, and the thing is, is

that I've had so many people, people

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I know , and strangers message me and

say, Oh my God, I love that episode.

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I love that episode on zigzagging.

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You know, when we talked about kids

zigzagging, I loved your episode where

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you talked about, you know, the load.

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People are really resonating

with what we've got to say.

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Bec: it's so beautiful.

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And please, we love getting your messages.

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So don't ever feel like, uh, I bet I

won't say this or I won't say that.

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Please say it to us.

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Cause we love getting DMS.

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Michelle: It just makes us feel

like, we're doing this for a reason.

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Bec: Yeah.

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Other than just because we wanted to,

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, Michelle: it's been an absolute joy.

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And I can't wait to, when

we say we're doing it.

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Welcome to episode 600.

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Bec: Yeah.

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Wouldn't that be cool.

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: Oh, well today, today's

episode is called I've lost my shit.

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Michelle: Have you Becky

Boo lost your shit?

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She actually

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Bec: my shit, haven't I?

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Michelle: Oh, she has lost her shit.

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Bec: I, so I'm going to give everyone

like a little bit of a backstory.

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So for the last 15 going on 16

weeks, we have had a sick child who

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started with COVID back in April.

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And he seems to have caught every

thing going around under the sun.

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If anybody walks past him

and sneezes, he gets sick.

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So anyway, last week after I

feel like the GP, cause our, our

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normal GP is away at the moment.

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So, um, we're seeing someone else.

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And this other GP.

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Last week, when I took Emerson

back, he'd been back at school for

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three days and came home sick again.

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and I felt like he was a little bit

condescending and I felt like he was

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a little bit dismissive, um, and kind

of just said, well, it's bad luck.

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Like this is just bad luck.

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And I'm sorry, but after 15 weeks,

it's not just fucking bad luck.

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Right.

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And my mom intuition was saying to

me, there's something else here, like

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this, there's something else going on.

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And the thing is, he gets really unwell,

like, it's not just like a little sniffle.

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He was really fucking sick.

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And um, so I said.

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I'm going to take him to the hospital

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and I rang you, didn't I?

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And I was like, do you

think I'm overreacting?

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Cause I, to be honest, I think my

husband thought I was overreacting.

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Michelle: Possibly.

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But, um, I then said to you, Beck, yes,

I'm all about, like, I understand that

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as a society, you know, some of us worry

about clogging the system, but there's

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a time when you have to follow your gut.

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And when.

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When a GP is dismissive and

you, I'm trying to word it,

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so I, I, I worded it right.

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Sometimes GPs can be wrong and sometimes

GPs can be dismissive and a mother will

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always know when her child is unwell.

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And so I said to you, absolutely

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Bec: And I know him, like I've grown him.

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I've, I grew him in my belly

and I know him inside out.

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And he just like, it just, he's

had more time off school this year

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than he has in the last five years.

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: So

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Michelle: And he has, and I feel

like I've gone through this, this

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with you and I've watched like, and

I'm also like, Oh, he'll be right.

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He'll be right.

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Kind of mum.

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But I've watched and listened.

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And I'm like, I knew from that

moment, if that was my child,

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I would have gone, fuck it.

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I'm just taking him to the hospital

because I'm not getting the

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answers that I require from the GP.

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And I think we've gone past managing

this situation at home it needed

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to have further investigations.

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Bec: and I'm not one for clogging

up the hospital system either.

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Let's just put it out there.

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We've managed really well at home in

the last, so this was like last resort.

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This was, I'm about to lose my mind.

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: And I just knew I just had

this feeling, just had a feeling.

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And anyway, long story

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Michelle: nurse, always a nurse, right?

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Bec: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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A hundred percent.

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And like, I'm going to say, this is

where I feel like divine intervention

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may be stepped in a little bit.

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When have you ever been to a hospital?

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So we went to Epworth in Geelong, who

can I just say were freaking amazing.

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Um, we walked in and there was

not one person in the waiting

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room, not one person, zero

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Michelle: They were all

sitting at Barwon House.

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Bec: with the 27 ramped ambulances.

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Michelle: Oh, that's a whole other story,

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Bec: That is a whole other story.

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Michelle: our, our medical

system at the moment is crumbling

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Bec: Yeah, a hundred percent.

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And there was no way I was

going to sit at Geelong.

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Michelle: no way.

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Like I think, you know, we, if you

have private health insurance, use it,

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Bec: Anyway,

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Michelle: for your

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Bec: we pay, what do we pay a fortune for?

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I'm going to use it.

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Michelle: Michelle getting on a

soapbox, because I still work in the

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medical system for a private surgeon,

so I see this shit every single day.

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Bec: yeah, yeah,

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Michelle: Continue, Becky, sorry.

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Bec: off we go.

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And they were just brilliant.

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They were so kind and caring and

really, and I think when you are a

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parent and you get to that situation,

you just want to be heard, right?

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You just want someone to

acknowledge you and go, Yes.

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All right.

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Let's have a look, look into this.

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And they were brilliant.

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They drilled deep.

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Anyway, we've got some answers

and he has long COVID essentially.

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And he has, um, uh, a diagnosis

that will probably require surgery.

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So, um, We've got a bit

of a road ahead of us.

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And then we're also dealing with a

kid who, I'm going to say this is

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as politely as I can, has a fucking

food aversion that drives me mental.

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Um, like it, it is, it's

beyond a joke anyway.

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So we, you know, we've got a lot

on our parenting plate right now.

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And

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Michelle: do.

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Bec: Friday, I feel like, because I

knew that there was no easy fix to this.

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And I.

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knew what was coming, I think

it just broke me a little bit.

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Now I'm going to put my hand

up and I'm going to say.

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Um, I acknowledge that we are very

lucky that this is the only thing

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that is wrong with our child.

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There are people out there who are

dealing with a lot worse and their

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children are a lot more, a lot, I guess.

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Yeah, there's people out there

worse, a hundred percent.

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So I acknowledge that, but this

is what we're living right now.

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and I think it's the layers that have

come with it, you know, like the layers.

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I'm also been, had a child at home

for, you know, on and off 15 weeks,

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: and I'm trying to work a full time

job, manage staff, manage the house.

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Manage all the other things for

everybody else and do this on top of it.

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And it's broken me.

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Like I, I, I, I think I hit that

point of, you know, when you haven't

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had enough sleep, like all of the

things just came in and it just

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was that, you know, that perfect

imbalance that just broke something.

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: And unfortunately.

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My husband was the one that copped

it, you know, so through, and it was,

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um, a lack of communication on my

behalf of what I needed in that time.

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I did not communicate

what I needed properly.

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so therefore it ended in an argument.

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: So.

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I lost my shit, really.

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Yeah.

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Michelle: your shit before then, to

be honest, I like, um, you were a

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slow burn to the, to the crack, right?

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It took you.

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Oh, that was a good analogy.

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Wasn't it?

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You were like, just tick tick teetering

along, whereas I would have snapped

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a lot earlier than what you did.

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And I was just like, sitting

there going, she's so poised.

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I would.

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And I said to you, I would

have lost my shit before this.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So there's nothing wrong

with losing your shit.

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Bec: Yeah.

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Michelle: It's, it's a human emotion.

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Um, you are very controlled

as a person anyway.

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Um, you, you held it together well.

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I think that, um, I personally think

that Trav probably was just waiting

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for you to lose your shit anyway.

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And you know what, yeah, but who

are you going to lose your shit to?

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Bec: he copped it.

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He did.

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And

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Michelle: yeah, cause I

got the phone call after.

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Did you actually apologize

properly or did you apologize?

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Did you say, Trev, I'm sorry that I

went a little bit coco the loco to you.

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Bec: Yeah.

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I did say that.

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I said, he came home.

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Like, he ended up going and

doing what needed to be done.

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Um, and he, he came home and

I said, look, um, I'm sorry.

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I'm really sorry for

losing my shit at you.

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Um, just not in a good place right now.

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I'm feeling a bit burnt out.

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Michelle: But there's, there's the, the

thing that you did right, Bec, was that

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you actually said what you were feeling.

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And I think a lot of the time we

don't always, we will internalize

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to ourselves saying, Oh, I'm

not coping, blah, blah, blah.

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But to say it outwards

solves part of the problem.

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Bec: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I am, and I know you are exactly

the same when I say this, because

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we're very much like twins sometimes.

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I'm really bad at asking for help.

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Michelle: Oh, do not ask for

help, because if I ask for help,

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tell me if you're the same.

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I feel like I've failed.

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I have to do it all myself.

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I don't like to ask for help.

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And I have still to let people in

to help me, palpitates me because

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I feel like I have failed at life.

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Bec: Yeah.

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And it's

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Michelle: be able to,

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Bec: loss of control to

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Michelle: yeah, yeah.

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Bec: you going to do it the

way that I want it to be done?

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Yeah,

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Michelle: we put such pressure

on ourselves that we want

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things to be done perfectly.

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And then when we allow people to

help, it's not the way we want it.

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Like that's controlling and it's,

it's a, it's a problem for me.

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Bec: so I have kind of been thinking about

this, like, what can I do to help myself?

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So I was very, and I think you'll be proud

of me yesterday in our meeting at work,

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I Kind of said to the team, I need to

have a really frank discussion with you.

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Um, these are the thoughts that

I've been having in my head.

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I don't feel like I've been the best

leader because I don't feel like

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Michelle, that I'm doing anything

really well in my life right now.

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I feel like,

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Michelle: you're like

Dory, just keep swimming

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Bec: just, I'm just like, I've

literally just keep swimming,

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just keep swimming, but I'm not.

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I'm not being the best, the best mom.

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I'm not being the best wife.

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I'm not being the best friend.

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I'm not being the best,

um, leader in my team.

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I'm not being the best

contractor to my clients.

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I'm not being the best person to myself.

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Like I couldn't even tell you the last

time that I went out and I've exercised

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properly, like all the things, because.

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The list is just way too long.

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So, and I was like, okay, on the weekend

after breaking, I'm like, if I keep

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going down this road for another month,

there's not going to be much of me left.

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Michelle: and then you'll get sick because

you're run down and the cycle continues.

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Bec: So I was like, okay.

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So I lent into the team and I said,

look, I need some extra help here.

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And you know what?

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They were all beautiful and understanding.

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And they were like, um,

you actually haven't.

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Being how you imagine that you've been.

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: So I don't know, maybe this

week I'll get some emails from some

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clients and they're like, actually you

are being fucking shit right now and

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Michelle: No, I think that you're

being too hard on yourself.

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I think that you're, you put such

huge expectations on yourself.

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That's.

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Um, yeah, it's probably

not, not what you imagine.

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Bec: that, that my thing is leaning in

and it's, it feels really uncomfortable.

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And I'm, I'm actually saying,

I'm really going to start

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saying no to a lot of things.

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So.

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I

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Michelle: did that Beck.

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I just said no to something

doesn't, doesn't feel right.

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And I'm just like, you know what?

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Sometimes it's not about making

the money or, you know, in the

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business, like it's just doing what

feels right for you at the time.

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Life isn't, you know, I just watched

this thing on, uh, there's a show

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on ABC, um, where students ask

celebrities questions and they were

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talking about, you know, like if you

could revert back to being, you know,

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18, would you give up all the money?

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And they said, yes.

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And that's the thing, like

sometimes, you know, the money

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isn't worth the stress on your life.

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Bec: yeah.

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And I, so that, that's my thing.

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And I was like, okay.

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And then my other thing I'm going

to do is every household thing that

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needs to be done on a whiteboard and

I'm going to put it on the fridge.

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And I'm going to say to everybody in this

house, if you've got a spare minute and

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you find yourself free, you Pick something

off there and tick it off and that

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would be a great help around the house.

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Michelle: Can I ask you a question?

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Bec: Yeah.

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Michelle: Do you reckon that

anyone's going to tick that

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off after the first day?

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Yeah.

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Absolutely.

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Bec: Well, it's either that or

I'm going to lose my shit again.

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Michelle: Look, good luck

with that, that list.

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Bec: Well, no, I feel like if

I communicate effectively in a

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way that is not confrontational

and say, This is where I'm at

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Michelle: Yeah.

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Bec: and I need help.

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Like I need, you know, I need help.

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Like even the front seat of my car,

I said to Emerson, you know what?

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You actually are well enough

to pick up the stuff out of the

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Michelle: Uh, I cleaned your

car a couple of weeks ago.

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Bec: Well, you need to clean it again.

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Michelle: Well, cause I found some

interesting shit in that backseat.

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There was chippies, few nug

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Bec: If that's the care of Maxie.

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Michelle: some socks, Legos,

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Bec: Yeah,

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Michelle: filled half a bin.

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Bec: you did.

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Anyway.

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So can you do it again, Michelle?

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Michelle: I'll see you tonight.

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I'll see you tonight and I'm

going to clean your car out.

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I'll bring my own BYO rubbish bins.

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Bec: That'd be really handy.

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Michelle: See, there, I'll

tick something off your list.

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Bec: Oh, that would be amazing.

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That would be amazing.

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And so like the gardener came on Monday.

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Did he do a good job?

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I don't think so.

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I think he

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Michelle: Oh my god, see, here

you're going, you, you outsource

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shit and then it's not good enough.

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Bec: And, and the clean is going to

come each week for the next few weeks.

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Michelle: Oh no, keep the cleaner.

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Bec: Yeah, she's coming every

week for the next few weeks.

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So,

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Michelle: I love the cleaner.

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The cleaner, I don't know, like, it's

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Bec: but the cleaner saves

arguments in the house, I reckon.

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Michelle: And who wants to, you

know, yeah, I hate washing bathrooms

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and stuff, so, bring it on.

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Bec: Yeah.

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So anyway, that's, I lost my shit.

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I'm only human, but

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Michelle: You're not perfect, Rebecca.

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Bec: has, if anybody has any, advice

or we're actually looking at getting a

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hypnotherapist for food aversion therapy.

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Michelle: It's interesting, isn't it?

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Bec: Hmm.

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I found a place and it says they

have a 75 percent success rate

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Michelle: Well, that's, yeah,

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Bec: children aged between seven and 14.

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Michelle: you, the thing is

you can only give it a go

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Bec: Yeah.

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Michelle: if you've, if you're

able to find the people that do

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these kinds of things, if you've

got the resources, just do it.

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Because if, if you don't

try, how will you know,

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Bec: So I will, I will actually

one, let you know how that goes.

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So how hypnotherapy

goes with food aversion.

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Um, but if anyone has any tips or

tricks, or maybe you've been through

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this phase in your child's life where

they're like, it's not, we've gone

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past fussy eating, it's restrictive.

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Like, and it's impacting

his health because now he's.

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We're not, we can't even, um,

like it's not just take a vitamin.

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He's,

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Michelle: gone past

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Bec: yeah.

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We've gone past that.

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So, yeah.

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Anyway, so if you anyone has any, um,

tips or tricks, please let me know.

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Michelle: Well, you know, my mother in

law told me that Michael, my husband,

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Michael, as a child only ever ate Devon

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Bec: Mm-Hmm.

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Michelle: and cheese,

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Bec: Mm.

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Travis was the same though.

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He, um, only he ate, I think

it was Strasberg sandwiches or

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some, some kind of sandwich and.

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Quick milk and like pasta

with tomato sauce on it.

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So the apple has not

fallen far from the tree.

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Has it, Travis?

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Michelle: well, what about when we

went, um, on the weekend, we did some

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wedding venue, um, yeah, it was lovely.

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And we went to this beautiful,

um, venue and now we're looking

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at the menu and Alicia's like,

well, Liam's not going to eat that.

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And we said, can Liam have the

kids menu of nuggets and chips?

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Bec: That'll be Emerson too.

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Michelle: Liam, like, he's not

the most adventurous eater.

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He's a very.

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Basic eater, he

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Bec: So you have a beige diet?

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Hmm.

395

:

Michelle: like we were talking last

night at the dinner table and he was

396

:

saying how we used to have his, so he

Liam's a plumber and he, so he leaves

397

:

early and his breakfast was a sausage

roll and a V And I said, oh, Liam,

398

:

could you not have something better?

399

:

And he is like, oh, I've dropped the

sausage roll and now I'm having a banana.

400

:

Bec: Banana and V.

401

:

Michelle: I said to him, drop

the V mate, have some water.

402

:

And he looked at me and I'm

like, the fee's bad for you.

403

:

They just, you know, he, he's just

not the most adventurous to beaters.

404

:

So maybe it's just a thing.

405

:

Maybe it's a thing that

Emerson will grow out of,

406

:

Bec: Well, when I was, because you

know, Becky loves to deep dive.

407

:

Michelle: she's a deep diver.

408

:

Bec: I've got to have the

reasons for everything.

409

:

Anyway.

410

:

So I was looking at.

411

:

food aversion and like,

just learning more about it.

412

:

And so it, while restrictive food intake

is not just, so like, it's very common.

413

:

It's a diagnosis on its own kind of thing.

414

:

It's actually not children who

have ADHD and who are autistic.

415

:

Some, I think there's about a

30 percent of them also that

416

:

goes hand in hand with them.

417

:

So like, it's not caused from two

things, but it's often found in kids

418

:

who have those conditions as well.

419

:

So, I

420

:

Michelle: I feel like you're going to have

a lot of people reach out to you, Beck.

421

:

I don't, I do not believe that

you were alone in this journey.

422

:

Bec: don't know, like, and it, you know,

when this, and it says, you know, there's

423

:

a lot of kids who, who, who are like this.

424

:

Michelle: Yeah.

425

:

Bec: And I want to get it under control

and I want to get it sorted before he is

426

:

Michelle: gets to high

427

:

Bec: gets any older, really.

428

:

Michelle: Yeah.

429

:

Well,

430

:

Bec: as somebody who eats everything

and anything, I really struggled to

431

:

understand like, like how you can't just

pop a blueberry in your mouth and eat it.

432

:

It

433

:

Michelle: yeah.

434

:

Bec: doesn't make sense to me.

435

:

So anyway, aren't we so lucky to live in

a world though, where you do have those

436

:

resources and tools available to help

437

:

Michelle: Oh, a hundred percent.

438

:

Bec: Like back when we were kids.

439

:

Michelle: you just sat there

and you ate your dinner.

440

:

That

441

:

Bec: if you didn't, you got it

for breakfast again the next day.

442

:

Michelle: Oh, do you know, I remember

and I've never, I've can't eat them.

443

:

Brussels sprouts.

444

:

Yuck.

445

:

Yuck.

446

:

Bec: that I'm an adult, I don't mind them.

447

:

Michelle: No, they're like,

and I know they're just like a

448

:

cabbage, but I remember like,

449

:

Bec: Just a little baby cabbage.

450

:

This

451

:

Michelle: can't do it.

452

:

I'm never, and I don't, and I know

they're full of all the good minerals

453

:

and stuff like that, but vitamins and

minerals and all that kind of stuff,

454

:

but I cannot do it, but it's like

a childhood trauma is the Brussels

455

:

Bec: Emerson's going to grow up and he's

going to be like, Oh my gosh, my mom

456

:

Michelle: Maybe eat a blueberry.

457

:

Bec: tortured me.

458

:

Michelle: Oh my goodness.

459

:

Okay.

460

:

Okay.

461

:

What else have we got to talk about today?

462

:

Becky

463

:

Bec: we've got lots of

fun things to talk about.

464

:

So one thing that I do want

to talk about, and I know that

465

:

you're a little foodie like me.

466

:

Can we just talk about the

beautiful cucumber salad rage

467

:

that is all over Tik TOK?

468

:

Yeah.

469

:

Yeah.

470

:

Because we love the ticky tock.

471

:

Michelle: the Tiki Tok.

472

:

I have been obsessed by the cucumbers.

473

:

You know, like they say, what's

the, what's the saying they're

474

:

saying at the moment, the trend.

475

:

Let's see.

476

:

Sometimes

477

:

Bec: It's like, um, when you, is it,

478

:

Michelle: like, sometimes

479

:

Bec: you'd cucumber a day?

480

:

Michelle: you just got to eat a, uh,

481

:

Bec: A whole cucumber?

482

:

Mm

483

:

Michelle: and they like

slice it on a mandolin.

484

:

And I'm like, when is someone

going to cut their fingers anyway,

485

:

Bec: for

486

:

Michelle: safe, safety.

487

:

So then they make these, they

488

:

Bec: In a jar.

489

:

So they put the mandoline

on top of the jar and they,

490

:

Michelle: they slice the cucumber

and then they find, so I made one

491

:

the other day, I'm like, oh, I

492

:

Bec: What did you put in yours?

493

:

Michelle: well, I saw somebody do, um,

like a salmon and, um, cream cheese.

494

:

And dill.

495

:

Bec: Oh, chuck in a

few capers and I'm, I'm

496

:

Michelle: Yeah.

497

:

I didn't have any capers, but I had

salmon, I had dill and I had the, um,

498

:

the cream cheese and then I sliced

my cucumbers and I chopped up all the

499

:

salmon and it was frigging delicious.

500

:

I

501

:

Bec: did you not put this

on your own TikTok, mate?

502

:

Michelle: Oh, because I kind of

just did it in a hurry and didn't

503

:

sort of think about doing it,

but there are so many options.

504

:

Because Georgia made one the other day and

she had, um, like fish sauce, soy sauce.

505

:

That some kind of, um, Maggi sort

of sauce with a little bit of chili,

506

:

um, heaps of, um, sesame seeds.

507

:

She shook, shook, shook, shook

508

:

Bec: Yeah, I think I've seen that one.

509

:

That's the one that I want to try.

510

:

Michelle: Delicious.

511

:

Um, and so, yeah, but the salmon one

was nice, but she did, they, so when

512

:

they're doing these, these salads,

they put MSG in, which really confuses

513

:

me because I thought MSG was bad for

514

:

Bec: Yeah.

515

:

I would not be putting it in there.

516

:

Michelle: They're like

sprinkle, sprinkle the MSG.

517

:

Bec: Oh, gross.

518

:

Michelle: So I don't understand that,

but I always just thought, you know,

519

:

remember when you used to go to the

Chinese shops and they say no MSG in our

520

:

Bec: Yeah, because it used to

521

:

Michelle: it an inhet?

522

:

Bec: a dog.

523

:

Michelle: It makes you

thirsty, doesn't it?

524

:

Bec: and it makes you sick, like

it's so, it's not good for you.

525

:

Michelle: Well, they're loving the MSG.

526

:

So, but

527

:

Bec: Why?

528

:

Oh, all right, hang on.

529

:

I've got to know why they love the MSG.

530

:

Michelle: Oh my God, here she goes.

531

:

So yeah, so these are really delicious.

532

:

So there's so many options that you

can do, like, you know, cucumber

533

:

salads can have anything in it.

534

:

And a lot of people are then

like chopping it up finally and

535

:

putting them into like bagels.

536

:

So it's like a, a bagel mix,

like, but what they do is

537

:

they eat it and they do this.

538

:

And I don't understand the

whole slurping situation.

539

:

When you eat your food, you

don't need to make noise.

540

:

You don't need to crunch.

541

:

You don't need to slurp.

542

:

Just eat your food normally guys.

543

:

Like, but anyway, that's what they're

doing is they're like, they're like,

544

:

Bec: MSG, um, the flavor enhancing effects

of MSG are due to it's health benefits.

545

:

Umami taste, which induces salivary

secretions, which therefore

546

:

improves the taste of food.

547

:

Michelle: Oh,

548

:

then why was it such a

bad thing in the eighties?

549

:

Bec: Because

550

:

Michelle: thing now?

551

:

Bec: good for you.

552

:

Michelle: well, they like it, but

there's so many different options.

553

:

Um, so that, that is on

the Tiki Tok at the moment.

554

:

So, um, We've sort of gone off the

stripper girl, well the stripper

555

:

girls have dropped out of my feed.

556

:

I

557

:

Bec: You're not watching them enough.

558

:

Michelle: Well, I don't

know where she's gone.

559

:

I had to search for her, but

I couldn't find her name.

560

:

But then I found her and she's,

you know, back with her, with her.

561

:

Oh no, she was telling a story

about how they go to Dubai and all

562

:

the things that happen in Dubai.

563

:

Bec: Yeah.

564

:

Yep.

565

:

Michelle: that was interesting.

566

:

Anyway, that, and another thing,

oh, can I share a story that I

567

:

Bec: Oh yes.

568

:

This story just gets you in the feels.

569

:

Michelle: so I have followed this, um,

beautiful Australian girl on TikTok from

570

:

You know, a long time, like maybe two

years to maybe two and a half years.

571

:

Her name's Tara Jordan, and she's,

I think she's from Melbourne.

572

:

She's would be, I don't

know how old she is.

573

:

She'd be, I reckon, late

twenties, maybe early thirties.

574

:

And I've been following her IVF journey.

575

:

And I've been,

576

:

Bec: beautiful.

577

:

Michelle: yeah, and I've been really

invested and she seems like she is

578

:

the most lovely, lovely girl and her

husband, the same beautiful couple.

579

:

So, you know, you, you, you

want this to happen and she's

580

:

gone through maybe nine cycles.

581

:

I could be wrong with the

cycles, but she's gone through

582

:

a lot and it's never happened.

583

:

And you can just see

the heartbreak in her.

584

:

In her face, but she's

always got, you know, like my

585

:

baby's going to be out there.

586

:

It's going to happen.

587

:

Anyway, this, this cycle, um, they

did a double transfer and, um,

588

:

you know, she would document each

day, you know, she's like, Oh,

589

:

today I've got some cramping today.

590

:

I've got back pain, you know, and she

would explain her symptoms anyway.

591

:

Um, She was saying on day, I think

it was like day seven, you know,

592

:

I feel like I'm getting my period.

593

:

And I thought, Oh, please, please

let that be implanting pain, you

594

:

know, like let that be anyway.

595

:

So day eight comes and, you know,

like I logged on straight away

596

:

because I knew that it was pregnancy

test day and she, you know, it comes

597

:

up that, you know, she's posted.

598

:

So I quickly jumped on.

599

:

And, you know, she looked like she'd

been crying, you know, she was dark eyed.

600

:

She was really like, she

looked quite defeated.

601

:

And I thought, Oh fuck.

602

:

And so she's, you know, got

the pregnancy test in her hand,

603

:

obviously hasn't looked at it.

604

:

And she says, um, you know, this was the

day that we'd been looking forward to,

605

:

but basically I got my period last night.

606

:

I'm like, I had tears

streaming down my face.

607

:

She said, but I've done

the pregnancy test.

608

:

I'm just going to have a look.

609

:

And then she opens it.

610

:

Yeah.

611

:

And she's pregnant and she's

saying, Oh my, she was hysterical

612

:

and she was like sobbing and the

husband was just dumbfounded.

613

:

He was like, what?

614

:

And she's like, the, the thing that

got me the most was that she said,

615

:

I've never seen a double line.

616

:

Bec: Yeah.

617

:

Michelle: And this girl had, all she

had wanted was to have a baby, right?

618

:

And now this has happened for her.

619

:

I hope that this just sticks

and that, you know, she's able

620

:

to have, you know, her baby.

621

:

And she was sort of saying before

they looked at the pregnancy test,

622

:

you know, that, that, you know, our

baby is out there somewhere and we

623

:

will, you know, we will have a baby.

624

:

And she really, you could see,

she really just thought, well,

625

:

I've, I've got my period.

626

:

We're going to have to go again.

627

:

Bec: yeah.

628

:

And as a IVF Mama, that

weight is agonizing.

629

:

It is absolutely agonizing.

630

:

So Emmy's a little, um, IVF baby and.

631

:

The round that we did with him, we

wouldn't have done another round

632

:

because we were basically wasting money.

633

:

Um, I was not getting, so we were

doing the, we were doing ICSI

634

:

where they stimulate your eggs.

635

:

And take them and then we do egg

collection and then they do the little,

636

:

what they do in the little petri dish

and then pop the baby back into you.

637

:

So I just was not getting

the egg, egg count.

638

:

So even with the highest stimulation

you could have, I just wasn't producing.

639

:

So the last, so for Emerson's round,

we got, I think we had four eggs.

640

:

I think only three were

able to be collected,

641

:

two died overnight, and on the

day where we had to implant,

642

:

one it was Mother's Day.

643

:

the day of implant.

644

:

Um, yeah, yeah, yep.

645

:

Seven days a week, mate.

646

:

So,

647

:

Michelle: I guess so.

648

:

Yeah.

649

:

Bec: and they said to us, he

was very, I can't even remember

650

:

the word that they use now.

651

:

Like he wasn't perfectly created,

like the egg, the embryo was.

652

:

fractured or something.

653

:

Like it wasn't, it

wasn't a perfect embryo.

654

:

Like the odds of it moving

forward were quite slim.

655

:

Michelle: Wow.

656

:

Bec: Um, but we went ahead with it anyway.

657

:

We were like, let's just try,

like, what have you got to lose?

658

:

Michelle: Mm.

659

:

Bec: And, um, I remember walking away

from that saying to Trevor, Oh my

660

:

gosh, it'd kind of be a bit cruel if

it didn't work, like, you know, anyway.

661

:

So we, and I still, like, I remember,

you know, like when you were saying

662

:

about, um, all the things like you get,

like, you get sore, you get cramps,

663

:

you get back pain, you're like, Oh, my

period's coming, my period's coming.

664

:

And I remember it was a Friday and we

were having our blood test on the Monday.

665

:

And they advise you not to do any

pregnancy tests because you can

666

:

get a chemical pregnancy, right?

667

:

So you can get your test results and

it can be positive and then you go

668

:

and have your blood test on Monday

and you're actually not pregnant.

669

:

So they advise you not to do that.

670

:

my boobs were so sore.

671

:

Like I couldn't even stand up.

672

:

Under the shower and have

the water touch them.

673

:

They were that sore.

674

:

And I was like, that's a really good,

675

:

Michelle: That's a good sign.

676

:

Bec: a good sign.

677

:

But also you've just pumped

your bodies full of hormones,

678

:

Michelle: Yeah.

679

:

Yeah.

680

:

Bec: So, which can send

you a bit kooky, kooky.

681

:

Um, so you're in a pretty

fragile state anyway.

682

:

So I, and I remember when I said

to Trav, can you please get some

683

:

pregnancy tests on your way home?

684

:

And he was like, Oh, you know,

not a good idea to do, you

685

:

know, and I said, I don't care.

686

:

Let's just do it.

687

:

Let's just see what it says.

688

:

And I still remember we did the

test and I remember it clear as day.

689

:

We were having fish and chips and

Ebony was home and we did the test

690

:

and we left it in the bedroom.

691

:

And we're like, let's eat

and then come back to it.

692

:

Anyway, and I remember, I think

Travi went down and checked it, came

693

:

back down anyway, it was positive.

694

:

So every day for the rest of the

weekend, we were doing tests, right?

695

:

So then come Monday, you go

and have your blood test.

696

:

And there was this theory going around,

and I don't know how true it is, is

697

:

that they call it the positive test.

698

:

In the morning, and then they

bring the people who, um, have the

699

:

negative tests in the afternoon.

700

:

Right.

701

:

But we, we hadn't got that far previously.

702

:

And um, so come lunchtime, I

still hadn't had a phone call.

703

:

So I was like, it's, it's going to

be, you know, the lot, the reading

704

:

will be too low or something.

705

:

Michelle: Mm.

706

:

Bec: Anyway, the phone rang and the nurse

on the other end of the lines got said.

707

:

I think, you know, what I'm,

I would imagine, you know,

708

:

why, what I'm calling to say.

709

:

She goes, cause I think

you would have the feeling.

710

:

And I said, Oh, is it negative?

711

:

She's like, no, you'd be having symptoms.

712

:

It's so positive.

713

:

Like you're out really high.

714

:

And I was like, Oh, that's amazing.

715

:

And um, Yeah.

716

:

Michelle: I just think that.

717

:

Bec: It's such a rollercoaster,

such a rollercoaster.

718

:

And like, I, I think, you know, such

a big fertility is such a big journey.

719

:

Michelle: It is.

720

:

I, I watched, um, I think you

watched her as well, Angela Sobrano.

721

:

Oh my goodness.

722

:

I just, and I remember the day like that

she announced that she was pregnant.

723

:

And I was crying and you, you cry for

strangers because at the end of the day.

724

:

You know, as women, we have this

yearning to be a mother, know, like

725

:

some people do, some people don't, and

it just, and now I watch her little

726

:

Jimmy and I'm just like, he's just

absolutely stunningly beautiful and he's.

727

:

You know, it looks like

he's dead, doesn't he?

728

:

Bec: Yeah.

729

:

He really does.

730

:

Michelle: and I'm just like, I just

feel joy for these people, because

731

:

if you want a child, you will try

whatever way you can to get that baby.

732

:

And, you know, um, it's just

been like these, these stories

733

:

have just been so beautiful.

734

:

So that was my

735

:

Bec: Can you keep us updated?

736

:

Michelle: will keep you updated

because she really just seems

737

:

like the most beautiful girl.

738

:

And I just think that, um, You know,

there's so many stories out there,

739

:

but that's just the one that just

pops up into my feed all the time.

740

:

And I was just, you know, I, I

said to Georgia, look at this and

741

:

she's like, mom, you're crying.

742

:

And I said, because I feel like

I've followed this journey for so

743

:

long and you wait with bated breath.

744

:

Please, please let it happen for them.

745

:

Please.

746

:

So do you know what I did?

747

:

I messaged her.

748

:

I wrote, I was just felt so.

749

:

Like, I would never message anybody

randomly, but I just felt like I

750

:

was so truly, truly happy for her.

751

:

Bec: Yeah, and you know what, like, this

is, I don't know, maybe, maybe I'm a bit

752

:

weird, but I'm a bit like you, like, I

think these people, like, and especially

753

:

when you're, I feel like when you're going

through that journey, you can actually

754

:

be really down on yourself, like, because

you feel like your body has failed you.

755

:

Um, and so I feel like there's

almost, there's sometimes for people.

756

:

A lot, a lot more happening internally.

757

:

Michelle: Yeah, yeah,

758

:

Bec: So for the.

759

:

Outpouring of support from people

is actually beautiful to receive.

760

:

So you sending her a message

like of support, like she would

761

:

have so many beautiful people

wanting this for her, wanting

762

:

Michelle: Yeah.

763

:

A hundred percent.

764

:

And I,

765

:

Bec: support keeps you going when.

766

:

The tests are negative.

767

:

It's that support that keeps you

going when you're feeling a really

768

:

rough and down on yourself, like

769

:

Michelle: I mean, for her to,

to be able to do this publicly,

770

:

Bec: that would be a lot brief.

771

:

Michelle: yeah, you know, like, and

people are then wait, like me are waiting

772

:

to hear, you know, to hear the answer.

773

:

That's a lot of stress on her as

well, but I, I, I feel like she does.

774

:

She does.

775

:

Yeah.

776

:

Yeah.

777

:

She will post days later.

778

:

So it's not in real time.

779

:

And I think that that's a smart thing

because at least they've got the privacy

780

:

to be able to, you know, if it, if

the positive, if the test is negative

781

:

privately, they're able to breathe.

782

:

Process, and then they can post, um, you

know, they're not doing it in real time

783

:

when they're, they're dealing with their

emotions the same time the public are.

784

:

I mean, I think that what she's

doing, you know, is beautiful

785

:

to share that story, but I

786

:

Bec: And it would make other people

not feel so alone in their journey as

787

:

Michelle: that's right.

788

:

Bec: Because you know, and this is

the thing, like, I think for a long

789

:

time, it's one of those things,

it's like miscarriage, right?

790

:

It's like one of those things that

people just didn't talk about.

791

:

It was like, it was shameful or

something like, which it totally is not.

792

:

Michelle: I feel like our genera like what

793

:

Bec: We're starting to talk about those

things more and more like, and openly,

794

:

Michelle: Yeah, yeah.

795

:

The world's changing.

796

:

Bec: and I think for a lot of people

who feel quite isolated in those

797

:

journeys, those people are really

helping others to feel not so alone,

798

:

Michelle: Yeah, I

799

:

Bec: which is nice.

800

:

Now, Michelle, you know

what else it is time for?

801

:

Michelle: Tell us.

802

:

Bec: Our best buys.

803

:

Michelle: my God.

804

:

I've got the best buy today.

805

:

Bec: We say that every time.

806

:

I've got the best buy.

807

:

I've got the best buy.

808

:

Michelle: I have got the best buy, but

as many of you know, my pronunciation

809

:

of things is Is not very good, right?

810

:

Yeah, shut up.

811

:

Bec: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

812

:

Michelle: So I had to go, I had

to go to my friend ChatGTP and ask

813

:

them how I need to break down the

name of this beautiful product that

814

:

I'm going to talk to you about.

815

:

So I said to them, Hey,

ChattyGTP, how do I say this word?

816

:

And the name of the product is called.

817

:

Embryocele.

818

:

And this is what they said.

819

:

The name embryocele, so you can't

say it, is pronounced am bree oh lee.

820

:

Here's the breakdown.

821

:

Em, that sounds like um, bree, that

sounds like bree, oh, that sounds

822

:

like oh, lissy, that sounds like lees.

823

:

So together it's um bree oh cele.

824

:

Bec: Okay.

825

:

So what is this?

826

:

Um, briozoli.

827

:

Michelle: It's a cream.

828

:

Bec: What kind of cream?

829

:

Michelle: a face cream.

830

:

It's like a hydra cream.

831

:

It's French, so, and it's really like

quite, it's quite thin and liquidy,

832

:

so you can use it as a moisturizer.

833

:

You can use it as a primer.

834

:

You can use it as a, um, a cleanser.

835

:

You can use it in whatever way you want

and the best part of it, it's cheap.

836

:

It's kind of cheap.

837

:

So if you're going to buy, you

know, high end stuff, you're paying

838

:

a hundred bucks a tub, right?

839

:

This is about, so you can get two sizes.

840

:

You can get a small size.

841

:

Which I think is maybe, I don't know

how many meals it is, but you can

842

:

get a small Full size and then you

can get a larger tube and the larger

843

:

tube is like 39 and it lasts a while.

844

:

You can get it at Chemist Warehouse.

845

:

It's near all the, it's on a bottom

shelf and it's near the Rose,

846

:

what's that, that brand called?

847

:

Ross, it's the French one.

848

:

It's a white tube with the blue line.

849

:

Anyway, it's the French one,

the Rosselysay or something.

850

:

Bec: Oh, oh yeah.

851

:

Yeah.

852

:

I know what you're

853

:

Michelle: You know, guys, you will

know which one I'm talking about.

854

:

It's all over the, you know, like the

youth of today love it because it's not

855

:

super expensive, but it's a good product.

856

:

Anyway, so it's on the, that's

the one, that's the one.

857

:

Yep.

858

:

So it's on the bottom shelf there and

they don't have a lot of products.

859

:

They basically just have the cream.

860

:

Bec: And you, you got me this, didn't you?

861

:

Michelle: I did.

862

:

I wanted you, I really

863

:

Bec: It's now my day moisturizer.

864

:

Michelle: Yeah.

865

:

And it's like, I use it

all the time as well.

866

:

Bec: not thick enough to have as a night

moisturizer when you're in your forties.

867

:

Michelle: but I feel like it

does really hydrate your skin.

868

:

And, um, and I just, I don't know.

869

:

I found it from a lady on Tik

TOK, a makeup artist and she's.

870

:

Bec: talk.

871

:

Michelle: She slathers it on, but she

uses it as all those different varieties,

872

:

you know, from cleanser to primer.

873

:

And I just feel like my skin,

um, really feels hydrated.

874

:

And it also like I put it on, so I put

it on before I put my makeup on sort of

875

:

like I get out of the shower, I put it

on and I let it sink into my skin and

876

:

then I'll potter around, dry my hair.

877

:

Then I'll put, while I'm drying

my hair, I'll put another layer on

878

:

and then I go and put my makeup on.

879

:

Um, so it feels like my.

880

:

My skin has a really nice glow to it.

881

:

Bec: I definitely feel like the texture

of my skin has changed since using it.

882

:

Michelle: it's really lovely.

883

:

And it's, it's definitely, um, something

to go and have a look at because it

884

:

just, it doesn't sit thick on your skin.

885

:

Bec: Yeah, it's nice.

886

:

It's nice.

887

:

Get on it, get around it, everybody.

888

:

Michelle: on the, can

you say it for us Bec?

889

:

Bec: Um,

890

:

Michelle: Lossy.

891

:

Bec: bros.

892

:

Michelle: Yeah.

893

:

Anyway, it's that really nice cream.

894

:

Um,

895

:

Bec: We'll, we'll put a photo

when this episode goes live.

896

:

We'll put a photo of it in

the, um, in our stories.

897

:

Michelle: and anyone that's

French don't come at us because

898

:

it's really hard to say, Tell

899

:

Bec: what I'm excited about?

900

:

Michelle: me.

901

:

Bec: I'm excited for our next guest on our

902

:

Michelle: I know.

903

:

Should we talk a little

bit about our next guest?

904

:

Bec: So, as you know, we are putting

our fave people onto our podcast.

905

:

We had Debbie Wood.

906

:

Next, our next guest is somebody who,

again, we adore, but she's very stylish.

907

:

Can we just say super stylish?

908

:

Michelle: she's the best.

909

:

Bec: She's funny.

910

:

It's just giggle.

911

:

Michelle: Loves an American accent.

912

:

She flips into an American accent

just at the, with, for no reason,

913

:

but if she's excited, she comes out.

914

:

Bec: hopefully it comes

out on the podcast.

915

:

Um,

916

:

Michelle: yeah, yeah.

917

:

That's what she

918

:

Bec: have the most beautiful Nicole

Vine joining us for our next episode.

919

:

Michelle: Colvine, I

get a little bit, like,

920

:

Bec: You fangirl over

921

:

Michelle: I fangirl

McColvine so much, like.

922

:

I just love her and I just, I

like, would love to be, to have the

923

:

style that Nicole Vine has because

she's just got this beautiful,

924

:

Bec: She's got this grace about her

925

:

Michelle: yeah, and she's fucking funny

926

:

Bec: and beautiful.

927

:

Michelle: and beautiful

and smart, was a lawyer.

928

:

She was a lawyer and then she was like,

I don't really want to do that anymore.

929

:

I think I'm going to become a stylist.

930

:

Bec: Yeah.

931

:

So Nicole will be joining.

932

:

I think actually, Michelle, can I just

say, I think you became friends with me

933

:

just to become friends with Nicole Lyon,

934

:

Michelle: Yeah.

935

:

Cause I was like, right.

936

:

How do I get to that?

937

:

Nicole Vine?

938

:

I'll go through back.

939

:

Bec: Bex Jenner will sort me.

940

:

Michelle: I like, I love to send

Nicole a little like screenshot.

941

:

Do you think like trying to

get free advice from her?

942

:

Like, do you think this

will look all right?

943

:

Like I did it to her yesterday and

she gave me nothing, but don't worry.

944

:

Bec: hang on a second.

945

:

Was that that dress that you sent me?

946

:

And I was like, nah,

947

:

Michelle: Oh, that dress was beautiful.

948

:

Bec: beautiful, but it's not

engagement worthy, not engagement party

949

:

Michelle: We're still

on the engagement part.

950

:

Michelle's bought a dress.

951

:

But now I'm like, Oh, I saw this dress

on Jane Hill, no Jane Hall, who I love,

952

:

Bec: is stunning.

953

:

It's beautiful dress, but

954

:

Michelle: like I'm going to look like her.

955

:

But anyway, anyway, it was beautiful.

956

:

And I was like putting it into the

Google finder to find, try to find where

957

:

it was from, but can't figure it out.

958

:

So yeah,

959

:

Bec: You know what you could do?

960

:

Michelle: tell me.

961

:

Bec: You could just message Jane Hall

and say, Jane, your dress is stunning.

962

:

Michelle: Because I fangirl her too.

963

:

I love her.

964

:

How very dare you?

965

:

That's what she says.

966

:

How very dare you?

967

:

Bec: I like it.

968

:

I love her.

969

:

And we love Chrissy Swan too,

970

:

Michelle: Oh my God.

971

:

Bec: favorites.

972

:

Michelle: They are my favorites.

973

:

Love them.

974

:

Bec: Mm.

975

:

But why don't you just message

her and say, Jane, where

976

:

did you get that dress from?

977

:

Michelle: Well, I don't know.

978

:

She might think I'm a stalker.

979

:

Bec: Mm.

980

:

Michelle: I am.

981

:

I wouldn't.

982

:

And I've been like scrolling all the

comments where people are saying where

983

:

it's from and then someone said it

was from Husk and I went on there.

984

:

It's not from Husk.

985

:

Bec: mm.

986

:

Michelle: So if anybody's been

987

:

Bec: it in?

988

:

Um,

989

:

Michelle: I put it in the

Google finder like that.

990

:

Yeah, I figured that out.

991

:

I put everything in that

now, but I want that dress.

992

:

But apparently, and even I showed Alicia

and she was like, oh, it's a bit basic.

993

:

Bec: is basic.

994

:

It's lovely, but not

engagement party worthy.

995

:

I'm still trying to find a dress.

996

:

Michelle: Well, you're going to go Anna

Green, Gable, Big Sleeve, aren't you?

997

:

Bec: I might not.

998

:

I did find another dress

that I really like, but I'm

999

:

worried it's a bit too plain.

:

00:49:51,910 --> 00:49:53,220

Michelle: Don't be a plain Jane.

:

00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:55,960

Oh my goodness.

:

00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,000

It's brown.

:

00:49:58,240 --> 00:50:00,260

Bec: It's Brown, but it's nice.

:

00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:02,310

Michelle: Oh my goodness.

:

00:50:02,420 --> 00:50:06,260

Who's just, um, loving our

random chit chats here?

:

00:50:06,270 --> 00:50:06,500

Yeah.

:

00:50:06,660 --> 00:50:08,630

Bec: I know probably

should wind it up because

:

00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:09,900

Michelle: Wind it up guys.

:

00:50:09,980 --> 00:50:10,370

All right.

:

00:50:10,380 --> 00:50:12,920

So next week is the beautiful Nicole

:

00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:14,070

Bec: Nikki Byne.

:

00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:14,820

Michelle: Yep.

:

00:50:14,820 --> 00:50:17,548

And it's been another great podcast.

:

00:50:17,548 --> 00:50:18,911

for tuning in.

:

00:50:18,911 --> 00:50:19,821

He's like,

:

00:50:19,930 --> 00:50:22,050

Bec: I promise I'll try not

to lose my shit this week.

:

00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:22,820

Travi Trav.

:

00:50:25,350 --> 00:50:26,780

Michelle: yeah, whatever Becky boo.

:

00:50:27,100 --> 00:50:27,540

Bec: Oh,

:

00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:29,290

Michelle: You know what?

:

00:50:29,830 --> 00:50:32,640

Bec: it's probably like messaging his

mum and dad, can I move back home?

:

00:50:33,580 --> 00:50:37,480

Michelle: No, this is, you know, life,

we're not all meant to be perfect, Beck.

:

00:50:37,510 --> 00:50:42,360

There's going to be times in our lives

where, you know, we have difficult times.

:

00:50:42,690 --> 00:50:45,870

Actually, I want to finish with something

that somebody said to me the other day.

:

00:50:45,870 --> 00:50:49,360

I was having this conversation

with a client and we were talking

:

00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:52,480

about, um, you know, stuff.

:

00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:55,810

And he works within a mental

health, he works for mental health.

:

00:50:56,355 --> 00:51:02,105

Um, hospital, and he was talking

about patients and things like that.

:

00:51:02,785 --> 00:51:08,195

And he said to me, he sent me a

message and he said to me, remember,

:

00:51:08,195 --> 00:51:10,615

Michelle, always stay strong.

:

00:51:10,905 --> 00:51:12,735

The best people come from fire.

:

00:51:15,305 --> 00:51:17,355

And I think that's what we're

going to leave you with today.

:

00:51:18,775 --> 00:51:19,975

People come from fire.

:

00:51:19,985 --> 00:51:23,005

It means that you're strong and

you can get through anything.

:

00:51:23,340 --> 00:51:23,810

Bec: Yeah.

:

00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:24,740

A hundred percent.

:

00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,460

Well, have a beautiful week, everyone.

:

00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:28,400

Bye.

:

00:51:28,435 --> 00:51:28,795

Michelle: that.

:

00:51:29,675 --> 00:51:30,565

Ciao, ciao.

:

00:51:30,565 --> 00:51:31,855

Bye.

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