Join Attorney Jonathan Breeden, the owner of Breeden Law Office, as he leads us into the heart of Johnston County in this inaugural episode, giving listeners an exclusive insider's look at the bustling local scene and the role of his practice within this thriving community.

This first episode is gonna be about . What we sort of call the 10 Commandments of family law, and these are the 10 commandments that we try to share with our clients and ask them to keep in mind when we're helping them go through what is often the most difficult thing they've ever gone through in their life, that being a divorce or a separation where there are children involved.

Down the road, you'll probably hear us do a deeper dive, but since this is the beginning of this, we thought we would just do a high level overview of what we call the 10 Commandments of Family Law at Breeden Law Office. The first commandment is know thy finances. It is extremely important when you come in to first meet with a family law attorney at the Breeden Law Office or any family law attorney, that you understand what your financial situation is at the time you're coming into the office.

Or any other medical debts or any other debt that you have so that your attorney can start to get a complete financial picture of where you are and what there may be to divide. It is also very important that you already start to develop a budget for what it is going to look like for you to either live in the home you're in or move to a different home now that your relationship is not going to continue.

In in the near term. The third commandment is, put your children first and creating a compassionate plan for your children. After divorce, it is very important that your children be able to maintain a relationship with both parents and that rela that may be 50 50, it may not be 50 50, depending on whether both parents have a work schedule that allows them to get the kids to and from school and their activities.

Whether both parents are free of drug and alcohol abuse, that would've cause them to not be able to properly supervise the parents. Was it? Are both parents still in the same community to where the children could ride the bus or that they can get 'em to and from school? You know, all of these things have to be considered the parents' work schedules as well.

You should have realistic conversations about custody and finances with your soon to be ex-partner, and you should be looking at it as what is best for the children. And what is also best for you moving forward. And so these things and, and you're also having to deal with the emotions at the same time.

So, but you really have to try to, as much as possible, and I know this is almost impossible, remove yourself from the situation a little bit and try to look at it from say a 10,000 square foot view and be clear on what you believe is best and what you are going to need moving forward. The fifth commandment of family law is choose the right legal support.

Not all attorneys are created equal, and not all attorneys will mesh with you, and you definitely need to find one that you trust and that you feel comfortable with. The sixth commandment of family law is maintain respect and dignity. How to navigate divorce with grace. . You should res, you should approach the divorce process with respect for all parties involved, and that includes your attorney, the opposing attorney, the opposing party, the judge, the children, your family.

Judges make decisions based on the facts that are presented. They are doing the best they can. They have tons of cases, and it's always better to settle the case and not leave it up to the judge. and the more you can keep your emotions in check, the better practical decision you can make, the better advice you will get from your attorney and the more likely you are to accept your attorney's advice, which will probably lead you to your best outcome.

Divorce attorneys have been doing this for a long time and they often know how these cases are going to end up, even though this is your often your first time going through the process.

You should consider the long-term aspects of what you're doing now and what you are agreeing to and what that's going to look like. You need to know what you're entitled to. You also need to know how financially structured what you are entitled to is. The sales proceeds from a house are cash. A 4 0 1 K rollover is not if you receive a 4 0 1 k and a rollover.

How much money do you need to live every month? Will you have to draw down your assets that you're gonna receive as part of the property settlement. To live under the budget you made because the alimony you may or may not receive may not cover the budget you've made for yourself. This is a long-term game, and you need to be thinking about where you're at now, where you're gonna be in six months, where you're gonna be in a year, and where you're gonna be in five years, and make financial decisions that will help you get where you would like to be.

We look for anything and anything that we can use that might make the opposing party. Not look positive. Are they out drinking at a bar at 2:00 AM Are they hanging with people that don't look like they would be the people you'd want your children hanging out with? Are they making negative comments about their spouse or their spouse's family?

And you can guarantee you it's gonna come back to haunt you in a trial when you're sitting on the stand and the opposing attorney hands you a post and said, . Did you post this? The ninth commandment of family law is consider alternative dispute resolutions, mediation and collaborative divorce options, divorce, litigation, family law.

Litigation, custody litigation can be extremely expensive. Attorneys are charging 300, 400, $500 an hour in certain situations in Raleigh, where, and their legal assistance are billing . 100, 200, $300 an hour as well. It can get very expensive in a hurry if you insist on having to litigate everything all the way out.

For about an hour and they're only gonna be able to listen to you answer about 15 questions, and they're gonna be making temporary determinations that could hold for 12 to 24 months and possibly permanently, depending on whether the parties decide to come back for permanent custody. So mediation is great and it is, I highly recommend that everybody do everything in their power to settle it there.

For their clients and both clients have to go get new attorneys. So it incentivizes everybody to work together in a collaborative manner to try to get to an outcome so that the parents or the parties don't have to hire all new attorneys and start over if they don't reach an agreement.

And that is one of the great things about collaborative divorce. The 10th commandment is prepare for your post-divorce life, building a new life of confidence and care. This divorce. Separation is going to be over often, sooner rather than later. Particularly if you reach an agreement in mediation. But your life is gonna go on and you're gonna start a new life.

You also need to be thinking about where you're going to work. If you're a spouse who stayed home and has been out of the workforce, you need to start planning on how you can get some job skills that allows you to get back into the workforce through your local community college or university. You can take refresher classes or go get a whole new degree.

And you have to be thinking like, what kind of work do I want to do? What kind of schedule do I wanna work? How much money can I realistically earn or do I need for this new post-divorce budget that we talked about earlier? But like I said, this life is going to be new. It may be better, but it's going to happen whether you want it to or not.

Come up a plan as to how you are gonna be a better person and you're gonna take on this new life. In a more positive manner because your family and your children are counting on it and it's not gonna do anybody any good If you're sitting around saying, woe is me, I'm the victim. Okay, so that is a brief overview of the 10 Commandments of Family Laws.

And if you enjoyed this first episode of the best of Johnston County Podcast, feel free to like and subscribe on YouTube and maybe give us a five star review so that we will be able to. Reach more people with this podcast. You can also share it with your friends and family on your social media, and they can start to learn about us and the services that my office provides here in Johnston County, and we'll be able to know when all of these exciting guests of the best of Johnston County start to come on over the next few weeks.

Thanks a lot for listening and we want to continue to help you be the hero of your life story.

If the legal aspects highlighted raised some questions, help is just around the corner at www. breedenfirm. com.