Transcripts
I'm Malita Seaman, and I am a lot of things, but mostly I am a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur,
Speaker:a former CEO.
Speaker:I have a lot of titles that come behind that.
Speaker:Mostly what I'm doing today is leading inbound leadership, which is an organization to inspire
Speaker:individuals to live more authentically, but mostly lead authentically.
Speaker:I also just recently wrote a book, Mindset Freedom with My Husband, and it's being released
Speaker:on May 17th.
Speaker:We're very excited about that.
Speaker:But Mindset Freedom tells about our journey of having to go inside to live better.
Speaker:The business we were in, something neither of us studied for, knew anything about, but
Speaker:it was a pathway for us to create a lifestyle that we wanted.
Speaker:And so I would say we pretended to love it.
Speaker:What we really loved was the money that it generated, the fact that it gave us security,
Speaker:but in terms of any other fulfillment, it just wasn't there.
Speaker:So after Brad left the business, I continued the business for about three or so years without
Speaker:him, and I'm kind of foreshadowing the book.
Speaker:But he eventually returned to the business, and together we decided to abandon it.
Speaker:It was not what we wanted.
Speaker:And that was a very difficult decision because our life, our home, everything was built around
Speaker:it for over two decades.
Speaker:What we were able to do after that was to pivot more into what was more authentic for
Speaker:us, what felt right for us.
Speaker:I came up and I was raised in a very traditional family.
Speaker:We were all expected to go through school, graduate from college, get a good job, get
Speaker:on our feet.
Speaker:And that's all I thought about, get married, have children.
Speaker:And so I went through the motions without ever asking myself, is this really what I
Speaker:want?
Speaker:Am I happy?
Speaker:Do I feel comfortable with what I'm doing?
Speaker:And I continued that right through my marriage with Brad, right through building the business
Speaker:until our crises hit.
Speaker:And what I realized looking back was all of those microcontortions were developing, they
Speaker:were creating unhappiness and resentments within me.
Speaker:But I couldn't put my finger on it and I watched so many people talk about, I want to be happy.
Speaker:And I was one that would always say, life just isn't happy, life just isn't designed
Speaker:to be happy when in fact we portray ourselves so many times and even coming close to being
Speaker:able to achieve it because we're so busy marching down the path that we think we're supposed
Speaker:to go down.
Speaker:And really, when Brad left the business, there was a point when I said, why am I doing this?
Speaker:Why on earth am I continuing this business when I'm unhappy?
Speaker:It's creating havoc in my life.
Speaker:And then the box was, well, how do I get out of it?
Speaker:I've created this reputation, I have this title, I have expectations, how do I just
Speaker:turn around and walk away?
Speaker:Our business model does not work unless individuals have really made the decision and the commitment
Speaker:that they want to make a shift because it's not the easiest thing to do.
Speaker:Once we start to come up from the iceberg sort of existence where we let the world see
Speaker:10% of who we really are and submerge the rest because it doesn't fit or we're afraid
Speaker:or once we make that commitment to say, OK, I'm OK with opening the kimono, I'm OK with
Speaker:coming out of the water, we're vulnerable.
Speaker:There are a lot of things about ourselves that we keep to ourselves or only to the people
Speaker:who are very close to us that we're not willing to let the rest of the world see.
Speaker:But I tell you that you can't really live until you're willing to allow that to happen.
Speaker:I was at the height of pity and very low and alone and I was angry and I was crying out
Speaker:to God, the universe trying to make sense of everything that had happened to me or was
Speaker:happening to me and I remember saying, I really just want to be happy.
Speaker:I don't need a complicated life and I don't need all the things, the extra things that
Speaker:I have in life, I just want to be happy.
Speaker:That's what I've been broken down to, what I want to be happy and the words that I heard
Speaker:about were proof.
Speaker:And it was an interesting moment and as I started to journal because I was a big journaler,
Speaker:I started to write down what was going on with me and the proof it became from pain
Speaker:to presence, from resistance to release, from obstacles to observation, from victimhood
Speaker:to valor, from ego imbalance to ego consciousness, from inner peace, I'm sorry, from insecurity
Speaker:to inner peace, and from tip of the iceberg to top the mountain and really created the
Speaker:chapters for the book.
Speaker:And that is the process I had to go through to get to the level of contentment that I'm
Speaker:happy that I reached.
Speaker:And for all of your listeners, what I found is with the people that I work with and everyone
Speaker:I speak to, proof it is a methodology that can help you no matter where you are in life.
Speaker:Because when we make the choice to really look at ourselves and to love ourselves and
Speaker:to go inside of ourselves to listen specifically to the voice that we typically push out, you
Speaker:know, the one that is telling us softly, not the not the loud chatter, the one that's
Speaker:panicky and worried, but the one that calm, the one that's loving, the one that nudges
Speaker:us when we're willing to go in and really listen and pay attention to that voice.
Speaker:That's where a lot of the answers are.
Speaker:And so we first have to make the commitment to go inside and to block out the external
Speaker:and to give priority to what is being, what is going on and what is felt inside.
Speaker:Excavating allows us to come out more authentically and say, this is who I am.
Speaker:You know, I've gotten rid of all of this other stuff where I've taken a look at all of this
Speaker:other stuff and uncovered what had what caused me to betray myself or what caused me to not
Speaker:fully live as myself.
Speaker:And now that I have gotten rid of that, I'm, I'm, I'm ready to live.
Speaker:I want to live now as myself, authentically as myself.
Speaker:And it's not a perfect science, but it certainly is better than trying to
Speaker:gloss over, go around, work around and pretend that something is not there.
Speaker:I was on the phone with my oldest son, who has a two year old, soon to be three.
Speaker:And she's a handful.
Speaker:And so we were talking about her and he was expressing, you know, his concern.
Speaker:You know, my parenting, her rate and, you know, and I told him that the best thing
Speaker:that he can do for her is to really be present.
Speaker:And it, and it sounds, you know, that doesn't sound very concrete.
Speaker:But what I'm saying to him and what I said to him is when she's speaking to you, stop
Speaker:and really listen and today it's really hard if you have our phones in our hands
Speaker:and they're just little ones, they don't understand.
Speaker:But when you stop and you look into their eyes and you really listen
Speaker:and you connect, you know, and it can only, it can take just 30 seconds, 60 seconds.
Speaker:But it means the world to them, you know, and so I would encourage everyone, even
Speaker:for us as adults, adults to adults, you know, you know, partner to partner.
Speaker:If we can just stop and really listen and be present, you know, and just let the other
Speaker:person know you matter to me.
Speaker:I hear you, I see you, I understand.
Speaker:Okay, you really want this doll right now, you know, let me stop and understand why
Speaker:you want me to play pretend right now.
Speaker:Let me pause for and, you know, it's making the decision that I am going to try
Speaker:and be as present as I can, as often as I can.
Speaker:This is not a perfect science again, but trying as much as we can to be present
Speaker:in this fast paced, crazy world we're here in right now that's grabbing our
Speaker:attention every minute it can get when the priority really is with the people
Speaker:that we share our most intimate moments with.
Speaker:I convinced myself that the discomfort I was living in was not only something
Speaker:that I needed to do, but I had to do long after I did not have to do it.
Speaker:And unfortunately for me, I stayed there until my situation became a crisis.
Speaker:And I would encourage everyone listening to begin to make changes, small changes.
Speaker:As you're listening to the inner voice, as you're listening to your intuition
Speaker:gut about things that feel right and the things that don't until the things
Speaker:that don't feel right, create a problem.
Speaker:Because eventually, you know, you run into a collision.
Speaker:There's the collision of what's inside and the collision of what's happening
Speaker:outside and if it's no more than being angry with your partner or being angry
Speaker:with your boss, discontent in your job, it just continues to grow.
Speaker:And so what, you know, I encourage individuals to do is not to ignore it.
Speaker:You don't have to make a change overnight.
Speaker:But ignoring it can create a crisis that can create pain, that can create suffering.
Speaker:What you want to do is to avoid the suffering or avoid the turbulence or
Speaker:and avoid the tsunami that can come because you did not follow what was really inside.
Speaker:The thing that maybe even sometimes it's saying something that you're in comfortable setting.
Speaker:Everyone has a way of doing dishes, right?
Speaker:We have our own system or whatever.
Speaker:So my husband will stack dishes on and he likes to do them in the morning.
Speaker:I'm a person.
Speaker:I like dishes done right away, but even if they're not done, I like to soak them
Speaker:because I want to make sure there's nothing that's going to stick to the dishes
Speaker:that maybe won't come off in the dishwasher.
Speaker:So we have this discussion yesterday because he continues to stack
Speaker:the dishes up and I just couldn't take it anymore.
Speaker:I'm like, why do you continue to do this?
Speaker:Can you just at least soak the dishes and then get to them in the morning?
Speaker:But once upon a time, and that's a small example, once upon a time, I think
Speaker:I would not have said anything and it would just have continued to annoy me.
Speaker:And so not only would the dishes annoy me, but the other little thing that he does
Speaker:would annoy me on top of the dishes, which would annoy on top of the other thing.
Speaker:And guess what would happen?
Speaker:We'd have an unnecessary argument about something that was not even important.
Speaker:If someone wants to work with you, what would they expect?
Speaker:There are three primary areas that we focus on.
Speaker:One, we're launching a series of retreats, offsite retreats in 2026.
Speaker:Those will be announced, but we're taking a handful of CEOs
Speaker:in an immersive kind of environment and taking them through some experiences
Speaker:that we are hoping will impact their ability to be more vulnerable,
Speaker:more authentic and more self-aware, because that that that's what's critical.
Speaker:So that's one area.
Speaker:The other is that we do offer workshops for teams.
Speaker:So we go into organizations and we help teams learn how to communicate
Speaker:and be more authentic and collaborative and self-aware.
Speaker:And we do some one-on-one coaching.
Speaker:That, again, really comes down to working with individuals
Speaker:who want to go deep within to excavate, is what I'll say,
Speaker:excavate what's inside and really willing almost to face
Speaker:whether or not they are in the right seat.
Speaker:Brad and I laugh about this because we call it the school of life.
Speaker:Quick, you know, we literally, I'm sure I've taken, you know,
Speaker:Harvard executive courses, I've done all of that.
Speaker:And, you know, but nothing compares to living through it.
Speaker:And we, you know, Brad and I have dedicated the last seven years
Speaker:of our lives to really honing in on what has been really important.
Speaker:What are the lessons we've really learned?
Speaker:And what we have to offer the world is to open ourselves up
Speaker:and to be very transparent.
Speaker:A practice that I don't compromise on is every morning when I get up.
Speaker:I created a quiet room for myself.
Speaker:It's a room that used to be full of junk that I cleared.
Speaker:And it's my space to start my day because I have to center myself
Speaker:through meditation and calm to remind myself who I am,
Speaker:who I choose to be, what I choose to achieve in that one day.
Speaker:I can't think about the next 10 days.
Speaker:I can't think about too much yesterday, but I can center myself
Speaker:for the present day because I know once I leave my quiet room,
Speaker:the world is waiting for me and I have to be rooted in myself
Speaker:and committed to myself and journal with myself about what that day means to me.
Speaker:Because every day is precious.
Speaker:I start counting my summers and it's like, you know what?
Speaker:I have a limited number of summers left, so every day matters to me, you know?
Speaker:And so I want to spend every day wisely.
Speaker:And I just encourage every listener to do the same.
Speaker:And at the end of the day, you know, I find that I am much happier
Speaker:and much more content with how I spent my day.
Speaker:And I know the days I've missed a couple of days.
Speaker:And I tell you it's a catastrophe because I'm all over the place.
Speaker:Everyone has a piece of my mind.
Speaker:Everyone has a piece of my soul.
Speaker:But when I start my day centered with the knowing of who I choose to be,
Speaker:I am I'm destined for a good day or a better day.
Speaker:Mindset freedom was written to encourage and support individuals
Speaker:in finding that place of peace.
Speaker:You know, life can be very challenging, very demanding, especially in these times,
Speaker:you know, have us kind of split and divided in so many ways.
Speaker:And what we really want, most of us, is really just a sense of peace and belonging.
Speaker:You know, it's we think often that that's going to come via wealth.
Speaker:That's going to come via certain levels of success, but it comes from the inside.
Speaker:You know, the external can create happy moments, but happiness comes from the inside.
Speaker:That's where it's it's created.
Speaker:That's where it's interpreted.
Speaker:And so mindset freedom is really designed to help us tap into that well of happiness,
Speaker:that place that we can create from.
Speaker:And that's why it's called mindset freedom.
Speaker:When we release ourselves from these imaginary jails, imaginary
Speaker:mind jails that we put ourselves in that create boxes that have us living lives
Speaker:that we're not necessarily happy with.
Speaker:So we're hoping that through the journey, taking our journey with us through the book,
Speaker:that others will be encouraged and supported in finding their own happiness and peace.
