Shownotes
Ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same relationship patterns, even when you promise yourself you won’t?
Why you overthink texts, chase emotionally unavailable people, shut down when things get serious, or feel anxious when someone pulls away?
In this episode of Campus Chronicles, Brooke sits down with Bev Mitelman, founder of Securely Loved and a relationship and attachment trauma specialist, to break down attachment styles in a way that actually makes sense for students.
This is not pop psychology.
This is not social media buzzwords.
This is real, grounded understanding of how your childhood experiences shape the way you connect with people today.
Bev explains the four attachment styles, how your nervous system plays a role in your reactions, and why so many students feel confused, overwhelmed or stuck in unhealthy relationship cycles. Most importantly, she reminds us that attachment styles are learned patterns, and learned patterns can be changed.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• What attachment styles actually are (and what they are not)
• Why attachment has nothing to do with being “broken”
• The difference between anxious, avoidant and secure attachment
• Why anxious and avoidant people often end up together
• How childhood experiences quietly shape adult relationships
• The role your nervous system plays in emotional reactions
• Why awareness is the first step toward healthier relationships
• How to start rewiring patterns that no longer serve you
• Three powerful pieces of advice Bev gives to university students
This conversation is eye opening, validating and empowering. If you have ever thought, “Why am I like this?” in relationships, this episode will help you understand yourself with more compassion and clarity.
About Bev:
Bev Mitelman, M.A. is the Founder of Securely Loved and a certified relationship and attachment trauma practitioner. With over 25 years of experience, Bev works with individuals, couples and families to rebuild healthy self esteem, emotional safety and secure attachment. She is also a certified menopause specialist and former executive leader, university lecturer and published author.
Explore more:
Website: https://securelyloved.com
Transcripts
(Upbeat Music)
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Campus Chronicles is the ultimate podcast
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for college students seeking real
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stories, honest advice and empowering
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insights to thrive in
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student life and beyond.
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Hosted by Brooke Young and the Campus
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Chronicles team, this weekly show
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features inspiring interviews, practical
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tips and conversations that tackle the
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challenges, wins and personal growth that
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comes with university life.
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Perfect for college students, campus
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leaders and young adults looking to make
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the most of their
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journey, one episode at a time.
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Subscribe now on Apple Podcast, Spotify
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or YouTube and join the community
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redefining what it means
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to thrive in university.
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(Upbeat Music)
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Today we're here with Bev Middleman who I
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am personally excited to talk about.
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Bev, thank you for being here.
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Thank you.
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I'm excited to be here
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with you and your audience.
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Well, before we begin to get into, cause
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I know this is a very nuanced, very big
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topic, give us the context into what you
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do and then our viewers are gonna know
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why I am so excited.
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(Bev Laughs) So I work with attachment styles.
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I'm a relationship and
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attachment trauma practitioner.
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So my job is to work with individuals and
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couples, help them identify their
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attachment style and how that may or may
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not be impacting the relationships in
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their life with their romantic partners,
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their friends, their colleagues, family
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members and also the relationship to
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themselves and to help them work through
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that so they can move towards what we
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call secure attachment.
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And I'm sure we're gonna get into that.
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Of course we will.
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Thank you for pointing out too that this
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is so important for the relationship to
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ourselves because even if we're not in an
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intimate partnership, it's easy to write
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this topic off but it
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is so crucial to know.
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So anyone that's been listening to the
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podcast may or may not have collected
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that this is my weak spot.
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So there's so much I wanna ask you but I
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wanna dive in with this first.
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What is it that people most misunderstand
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about attachment styles?
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There's a couple of things.
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So first of all, what's so fascinating is
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that everyone has an attachment style.
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So everyone in the world has an
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attachment style which means it's simply
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a way and a set of patterns and behaviors
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for how we form emotional
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bonds with other people.
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And we have scientifically been able to
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identify four specific styles.
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Now rarely do people fit like right in
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one little box but they
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sort of lean in a direction.
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And the way in which we form emotional
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bonds with other people is directly
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correlated to the type
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of childhood that we had.
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So what we saw, felt, experienced,
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learned as a child becomes a template for
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how it is we grow up and
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interact with the world, right?
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It becomes our lens.
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Right.
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Yeah, so I hear some people sometimes
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conflating attachment styles with mental
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illness or personality disorders like
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narcissism, not the same thing at all.
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No, no, it's certainly not.
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If you have come into contact with a true
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narcissist diagnosably, you'll know.
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Oh, you'll know.
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You'll know.
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(Both Laughing)
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Well said.
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Yeah, and the other thing that I wanna
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point out is that attachment styles are
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learned behavior, right?
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So with like anything else in our world,
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in our body, in our mind, what we learn,
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we can unlearn and relearn.
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So even if you have a set of patterns
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that's falling in one direction, let's
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say you're more on the avoidance side,
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you absolutely can learn to undo some of
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that thought pattern and some of that
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behavior and to operate in
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a much more secure fashion.
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And that is the work that I do.
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I help people move in that direction.
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Curiously, what role does body and
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somatics play in the unlearning process?
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Such a great question.
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You might be the first one
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who's ever asked me that.
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I'm huge on somatics,
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it's a passion for me.
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Yeah, it's great.
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So when we're gonna talk about the two
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different broad categories, secure
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attachment and insecure attachment,
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there's a whole bunch of subsets of
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categories and insecure attachment.
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But what they have in common is that
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their nervous system
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is dysregulated, right?
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And so we see a whole bunch of patterns
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of behavior that people are trying to use
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to regulate their nervous
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system and find a sense of safety.
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So when we talk about doing the work
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towards secure attachment, somatics is
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very important when we're talking about
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nervous system regulation.
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So that's a great, great question.
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So for someone that's curious, wants to
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explore, what's my attachment style?
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They want to wade into these waters.
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What's the first thing you
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would suggest someone do?
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So, you know, awareness
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is always the first point.
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There's a little quiz on my website
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people can take, it's a
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free quiz at securelyloved.com.
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You answer a couple questions, it'll give
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you a general sense.
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But I'm also going to dive into what
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these categories are now and oftentimes
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people go, oh yeah, that sounds like me.
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A little bit of
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realization, maybe some familiarity.
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Yeah, yeah, or sometimes people go, oh,
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that sounds like my boyfriend, or that
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sounds like my ex or whatever.
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So I'll give sort of a broad view.
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And I think a lot of people will be able
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to self identify where they might sit.
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So we have two broad categories.
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Originally I said there were four, but we
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start with the two main categories where
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we have secure attachment
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and insecure attachment.
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Now secure attachment is really the label
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that we give to individuals that feel
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comfortable being independent and in
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connection and
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closeness with others, right?
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These are generally people who grew up in
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homes where there was a fair degree of
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emotional attunement from their
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caregivers,
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predictability, warmth, caring.
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Not, we're never talking
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about perfect parenting, right?
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That doesn't exist,
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but the child felt safe.
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They felt safe to express themselves.
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They felt safe that their caregiver would
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respond in a calm and respectful way.
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And so they learned about their emotions
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and they learned about being authentic.
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And they grew up understanding that life
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is all about connections,
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right?
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They felt safe in that.
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And so these are the individuals that go
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on to often seek out
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long-term partnerships.
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They do very well in
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long-term partnerships.
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They're pretty good with boundaries.
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They understand respectful communication.
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Emotionally, they're quite stable.
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Like these are not the
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folks who are like volatile.
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So in North America, we talk about,
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it's hard to get an exact number, but
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it's probably in between 40 and 50% of
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the population is secure.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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That's a bigger number than I suspected.
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That's what people always say.
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It's hard to get, because this is
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self-reported, right?
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So it's hard to get the number, but in
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between 40 and 50% is
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where the estimate lies today.
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So what does that mean?
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That means that the other 50 to 60%, the
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bigger cohort of people when they grow up
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into adults have formed an
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insecure attachment style.
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So they have an insecure way of forming
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emotional bonds with other people.
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And within that insecure
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realm, they're subcategories.
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So the first subcategory is the anxious
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preoccupied or the anxious attacher.
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And along the spectrum,
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because it's like a continuum, right?
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Along the spectrum on the other end is
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the avoidant attacher or
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the dismissive avoidance.
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And then there is a cohort, a smaller
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group of people who actually have both
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avoidance and anxious.
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And we call those,
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they are known as disorganized attachers
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because they have like a little bit of
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both or fearful avoidance,
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those two different names.
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So why do we form these?
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Well, again, it has
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to do with the type of,
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caregiving that we
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received when we were younger.
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So typically someone who is anxious
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preoccupied would have experienced very
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unpredictable love
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when they were younger.
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These are the folks that often get sort
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of called out on social media and in
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memes as being needy in relationships,
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the chasers, right?
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They're the ones who are constantly
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seeking closeness from their partners
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because they don't have
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the ability to self-soothe.
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They're quite, they can be quite
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emotionally volatile and they're heavily
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reliant on their partners and their
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friends to help them
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soothe their nervous system.
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Right?
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So they would have experienced as a child
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a parent who was emotionally unavailable
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or someone, maybe a parent who was
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alcoholic, unpredictable.
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They would have gotten
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a little bit of love,
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but not consistently.
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And so they get trapped in this roller
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coaster of emotions of like chasing after
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love that's a lot of times not available.
266
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,500
So I'll pause here and say, do you know
267
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,833
anyone in your circle of friends who
268
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:24,500
chases after unavailable partners?
269
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,208
Of course.
270
00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:27,916
Right.
271
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:29,666
And it's interesting, right?
272
00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:31,458
Because we always turn around and we go,
273
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:33,708
but it's obvious this person can't give
274
00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:35,000
you what it is that you
275
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,416
need and desire and want.
276
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,541
Why are you chasing after them?
277
00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:40,583
And the person most often
278
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:42,875
doesn't have a clear explanation
279
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,583
because the patterns that I'm describing
280
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,833
are in our subconscious mind.
281
00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:51,333
So they guide our behavior,
282
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,708
but not at a conscious level.
283
00:10:54,416 --> 00:10:56,375
So if you ask someone, why are you
284
00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:58,583
wasting your time running after this guy
285
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:00,708
who's clearly emotionally unavailable,
286
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,333
giving you breadcrumbs, they're likely
287
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,083
not going to understand
288
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,791
what's driving their behavior.
289
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:08,291
Right.
290
00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:09,333
It just feels necessary.
291
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,208
They're just like, I'm
292
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:12,541
just so attracted to him.
293
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,875
I know there's something about him.
294
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:16,041
Well, I'll tell you what's about him.
295
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,708
(Laughs) It's a really simple answer.
296
00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:23,583
The dynamic is recreating what you know
297
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,125
to be familiar from your childhood, where
298
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:27,708
you were chasing after
299
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:29,666
the love of your caregiver.
300
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:30,166
Right.
301
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:31,041
It might've been your father,
302
00:11:31,041 --> 00:11:31,833
it might've been your mother.
303
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,291
They're there one minute,
304
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:34,291
the next minute they're not.
305
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,916
And you develop this sense of, if I just
306
00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:39,750
try harder, I can make them love me.
307
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:44,916
And this cohort of people start at a very
308
00:11:44,916 --> 00:11:46,125
young age to develop
309
00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,000
people pleasing tendencies.
310
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:49,500
Right.
311
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,458
And they give away from themselves
312
00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:53,291
because they're so focused on pleasing
313
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:55,791
the other person all under the guise of,
314
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,166
I'll be perfect, I'll be
315
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,875
perfect, don't leave me.
316
00:12:00,583 --> 00:12:00,833
Right.
317
00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:03,000
And so they're over givers
318
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,541
and they're also over feelers.
319
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:07,666
They tend to feel their emotions in a
320
00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:10,250
really, really heightened sense, lots of
321
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,625
volatility in that group.
322
00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:13,375
Absolutely.
323
00:12:13,958 --> 00:12:14,166
Yeah.
324
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,375
Sounds like some of your friends, we all
325
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:16,916
have friends like
326
00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:18,000
this in our peer groups.
327
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,333
Oh, I'll just call myself out.
328
00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:21,666
I would lean towards that.
329
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,666
(Laughs) I'm not too bold to say it.
330
00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:26,000
(Laughs)
331
00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:27,208
You know, it's okay.
332
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,208
Like again, these are just patterns that
333
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,416
we absorbed from our childhood.
334
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:34,000
But again, I wanna remind you that once
335
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,333
you become aware of this and that you're
336
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,916
chasing after love because that's what's
337
00:12:38,916 --> 00:12:42,000
familiar to you and you realize, like the
338
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:42,875
interesting thing is
339
00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:44,208
once you start to heal,
340
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:47,833
the people that you would have once found
341
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:49,083
extremely attractive,
342
00:12:49,708 --> 00:12:53,166
they're no longer attracted to you.
343
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:54,166
I'll tell you something
344
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:55,166
that will make you laugh.
345
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,083
One of my closest friends is a
346
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:58,791
professional somatic practitioner.
347
00:12:58,791 --> 00:13:00,625
And she calls me the professional safety
348
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:03,625
recruiter because I like to recruit in a
349
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:04,833
friendship sense, not
350
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:05,791
in a romantic sense.
351
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,500
I don't do that as much romantically
352
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,875
actually, but in a friendship sense, she
353
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,333
likes to call me the safety recruiter.
354
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,125
I like to know that
355
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,291
people are on my side.
356
00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:15,750
I like to recruit their support, their
357
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,083
love and their safety.
358
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,000
So she always laughs and she'll say,
359
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,041
"You're recruiting again."
360
00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:21,041
(Laughs)
361
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,500
So do you feel best when you're
362
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,000
surrounded by lots of people?
363
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:27,125
Yes.
364
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:27,875
Okay.
365
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,750
Now, if something happens, something
366
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:33,250
emotional happened, I don't know, you get
367
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,416
a phone call from
368
00:13:34,416 --> 00:13:36,541
someone that really upsets you.
369
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:41,125
Is your tendency to sort of take a walk
370
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,833
and think about it or to pick up the
371
00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:45,583
phone and call multiple friends and air
372
00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:46,916
it out over the course of the
373
00:13:46,916 --> 00:13:47,666
next six hours?
374
00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:49,250
My tendency is always to pick up the
375
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,500
phone and call a bunch of people.
376
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:51,125
Yeah.
377
00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:53,458
So I knew what you were going to say.
378
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,375
So human behavior is so fascinating
379
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,625
because it's predictive, right?
380
00:13:58,166 --> 00:14:01,708
Like these are predictive behaviors that
381
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:02,916
people have based on
382
00:14:02,916 --> 00:14:03,916
what they've learned.
383
00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:07,625
And so if I was working with you, I would
384
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:11,041
work on specifically teaching skills so
385
00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:13,500
that you could learn how to rely more on
386
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,833
yourself on self-soothing.
387
00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:17,791
Because there is a reason that you reach
388
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:20,666
out to that many people to
389
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:22,208
sort of help you process.
390
00:14:23,416 --> 00:14:24,958
Because essentially what you're trying to
391
00:14:24,958 --> 00:14:27,958
do is you're trying to downgrade or
392
00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:30,375
regulate your nervous system, which has
393
00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:32,166
been jolted by that event.
394
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,666
Absolutely, that absolutely describes me.
395
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,375
Yeah, yeah, it's very, very common.
396
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:41,666
Like 25% of the population has this
397
00:14:41,666 --> 00:14:43,291
particular attachment
398
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:44,583
style, super common.
399
00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:47,000
So it's one of the more common ones.
400
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:48,583
Let's dive into the other two.
401
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,458
Okay, so on the other end of the scale,
402
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,208
also about 25% of the population has
403
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:56,083
this, is the avoidance.
404
00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:56,791
So we have the anxious
405
00:14:56,791 --> 00:14:57,916
and we have the avoidant.
406
00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:00,083
And as luck would have it, it's not
407
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:02,541
really luck, but they often find each
408
00:15:02,541 --> 00:15:05,000
other in romantic relationships.
409
00:15:05,666 --> 00:15:08,541
This is where we get the push-pull thing.
410
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:14,166
So the avoidant typically grew up in a
411
00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:17,125
home where there was emotional neglect or
412
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:20,750
they were really overburdened, let's say
413
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,458
by a mother that was
414
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:24,041
very controlling or whatnot.
415
00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:27,333
They learned that closeness, emotional
416
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,875
closeness was not safe.
417
00:15:30,208 --> 00:15:34,291
And so they developed a lens of, I'm
418
00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:35,000
safest when I'm
419
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,833
alone, I can trust myself.
420
00:15:37,916 --> 00:15:39,375
I don't really trust others.
421
00:15:40,208 --> 00:15:43,500
And so behaviorally, they really thrive
422
00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:45,583
being hyper independent.
423
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:50,666
It's quite difficult for them to trust
424
00:15:50,666 --> 00:15:52,166
others and to move into
425
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,541
long-term relationships.
426
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:57,666
This cohort of people will often favor a
427
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:58,750
short-term casual
428
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,791
relationships because vulnerability,
429
00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:05,375
intimacy is very scary for them.
430
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:07,500
It makes them feel unsafe,
431
00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:09,541
right?
432
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,958
Whereas the person who's anxious really
433
00:16:11,958 --> 00:16:15,166
craves and desires that closeness for the
434
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:17,708
avoidant, that closeness actually makes
435
00:16:17,708 --> 00:16:19,291
them feel unsafe and so
436
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:22,041
they push it away, right?
437
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:27,208
So these two end up dating very often and
438
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:29,416
that's why we have so many of these memes
439
00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:33,583
on the internet that talk about the one
440
00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:34,625
that's chasing and the
441
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:35,875
one that's running away.
442
00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:40,416
And this is a true dynamic that happens
443
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:44,208
all the time if a couple is in conflict.
444
00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:47,250
Usually there's one partner that's like,
445
00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:49,083
"We need to talk about it now.
446
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,833
I can't go to sleep upset."
447
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:53,583
We need to like, they absolutely have to
448
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,833
resolve it to be able to calm down.
449
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:56,875
And the other partner's
450
00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:58,875
like, "I need a day to myself.
451
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,208
I just need to think about things.
452
00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:02,458
I need to process."
453
00:17:02,958 --> 00:17:05,333
And we see this very often.
454
00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:08,000
But I will point out actually that we
455
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,708
often see on the internet these tropes
456
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:13,833
and these memes of the girl being anxious
457
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,875
and the guy being avoidant,
458
00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:17,958
which of course can happen.
459
00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:21,500
But attachment styles are not gendered,
460
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,083
which means that we have plenty of women
461
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:28,583
who fall into the category of avoidant
462
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:30,916
and plenty of men who fall into the
463
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,750
category of anxious.
464
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,041
And so I myself grew
465
00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:36,541
up far more avoidant.
466
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,583
And so the behaviors that I'm describing,
467
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:43,916
you know, I've lived through and I'm
468
00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:45,750
dating someone now who is
469
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:48,083
much more on the anxious scale.
470
00:17:49,541 --> 00:17:50,208
How fascinating.
471
00:17:50,791 --> 00:17:51,791
Oh, and the people
472
00:17:51,791 --> 00:17:53,500
that are sort of the mix.
473
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:56,500
Yeah, the people who are sort of the mix,
474
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,833
the fearful avoidant or the disorganized.
475
00:17:59,541 --> 00:18:01,625
These people came out of homes often
476
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:02,625
where there was just a
477
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:04,291
high degree of chaos.
478
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,125
There was no stability to the home.
479
00:18:06,291 --> 00:18:09,000
And oftentimes there was abuse as well.
480
00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:12,208
And so these children developed a
481
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:15,416
template in their mind whereby they
482
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:17,708
really very much wanted the closeness
483
00:18:17,708 --> 00:18:20,166
like the anxious, et cetera, but they
484
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,833
feared it because
485
00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,375
that also came with pain.
486
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:28,833
And so in a lot of cases, for example,
487
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:31,500
they were really yearning for the love of
488
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,583
a parent, but the
489
00:18:32,583 --> 00:18:34,875
parent was also harming them.
490
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:39,125
So the child becomes confused in their
491
00:18:39,125 --> 00:18:42,208
psyche, disorganized with how to create
492
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,791
emotional bonds with people because they
493
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,000
desire the closeness as all people do.
494
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,583
We all want to form connections, but
495
00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:53,041
they're deeply afraid of it because in
496
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:54,625
their mind that comes with pain.
497
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:56,250
Right.
498
00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:57,125
Yeah.
499
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,833
Right, and none of us subscribed to
500
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,833
wanting to put ourselves through pain.
501
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:01,875
So it makes perfect sense.
502
00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:03,791
Yeah, it really does.
503
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:04,958
And that particular group
504
00:19:04,958 --> 00:19:07,000
is the fearful avoidance.
505
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:09,083
They're the least understood.
506
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:15,500
They carry around deep wounds of betrayal
507
00:19:17,583 --> 00:19:20,041
and they're often, it's an interesting
508
00:19:20,041 --> 00:19:24,708
group because oftentimes they've
509
00:19:24,708 --> 00:19:26,958
developed a set of skills that are very,
510
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,333
very helpful for them because they're
511
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,250
trying to keep themselves safe.
512
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:36,125
So you'll find that fearful avoidance,
513
00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:37,916
for example, are hypervigilant.
514
00:19:39,083 --> 00:19:41,708
So if you've ever been around someone
515
00:19:41,708 --> 00:19:43,875
who's hypervigilant, walks into the room
516
00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:45,791
and scans the room right away, is trying
517
00:19:45,791 --> 00:19:48,666
to feel everyone's emotionality and it's
518
00:19:48,666 --> 00:19:49,666
because they're trying to
519
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,333
pick up on where's the danger,
520
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:53,291
right?
521
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:54,250
Can I trust the group
522
00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:55,666
of people that I'm with?
523
00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:59,333
And because they've just, they've
524
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,791
experienced such high degrees of betrayal
525
00:20:02,458 --> 00:20:05,375
that they don't trust at all.
526
00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:07,458
Really difficult to sort
527
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:09,041
of penetrate that shell.
528
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,541
They're good people.
529
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,791
Like that's the thing is is that they've
530
00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:13,791
just been traumatized
531
00:20:13,791 --> 00:20:14,958
in childhood, right?
532
00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:18,541
So it's more difficult to form a healthy
533
00:20:18,541 --> 00:20:21,500
relationship with them if they're unaware
534
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:22,750
of their patterning.
535
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:25,375
And the key word that you're using is
536
00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:27,416
aware because I think it's so important
537
00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:30,500
to know that awareness to your point is
538
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:33,916
the first step of really starting to make
539
00:20:33,916 --> 00:20:35,500
some of these changes that are gonna move
540
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,291
you into having more satisfying
541
00:20:37,458 --> 00:20:38,666
fulfilling partnerships.
542
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:39,500
Yes.
543
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:42,375
Yeah, and all of this really starts from
544
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,125
first really understanding yourself.
545
00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:47,000
So what are the wounds
546
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,916
that you're carrying, right?
547
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,250
What are your triggers?
548
00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:53,750
What are the things that you really need
549
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:56,000
to feel content and satiated?
550
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,708
Like what are your personality needs?
551
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,333
What's really important
552
00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:00,458
to you in relationships?
553
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,458
With the man that I'm dating now, I
554
00:21:05,458 --> 00:21:09,166
remember on one of our first dates, I sat
555
00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:11,833
down with him and I said, what's really
556
00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:14,333
important to me is
557
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:17,500
trust, loyalty and honesty.
558
00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:21,458
So I can give that to you, but I need
559
00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:22,666
that back in spades.
560
00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:25,125
Which means that if I get a sense that
561
00:21:25,125 --> 00:21:25,500
you're being
562
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,416
dishonest with me, we're done.
563
00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:31,833
That's beautiful to have that degree of
564
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:32,791
self-awareness that we
565
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:33,833
should all be working towards.
566
00:21:34,541 --> 00:21:36,625
Yeah, and that's where I think that
567
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:40,583
that's part of the, the work that we do
568
00:21:40,583 --> 00:21:43,541
because once you understand your own mind
569
00:21:43,541 --> 00:21:47,500
and what you need to feel safe, then you
570
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,791
learn how to communicate that to someone
571
00:21:49,791 --> 00:21:51,875
else clearly, right?
572
00:21:51,916 --> 00:21:53,333
We stop expecting people
573
00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:56,000
to read our minds, right?
574
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:59,333
And you can sort of set these parameters
575
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:01,250
for relationship when we talk about a
576
00:22:01,250 --> 00:22:02,416
healthy relationship.
577
00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:03,875
We talk about, okay,
578
00:22:03,875 --> 00:22:05,208
tell me what you need.
579
00:22:05,208 --> 00:22:06,500
I'm gonna tell you what I need.
580
00:22:06,750 --> 00:22:08,625
And for some people that's just so hard
581
00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,000
because they really don't know.
582
00:22:11,250 --> 00:22:11,500
Right.
583
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,583
So for any listener, cause this is my
584
00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:17,666
signature question, I'm
585
00:22:17,666 --> 00:22:18,875
gonna adapt it a little for you.
586
00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:21,333
So I wanna keep your
587
00:22:21,333 --> 00:22:23,083
advice within this realm.
588
00:22:23,666 --> 00:22:25,583
So if you were gonna give three pieces of
589
00:22:25,583 --> 00:22:29,125
advice to university-age students about
590
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:31,166
attachment style, what are
591
00:22:31,166 --> 00:22:32,458
those three pieces of advice?
592
00:22:33,125 --> 00:22:33,916
Okay, let me think about
593
00:22:33,916 --> 00:22:34,958
this for a moment, okay?
594
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,708
I know, it's a good juicy question.
595
00:22:36,708 --> 00:22:38,333
Yeah, it really is, hold on.
596
00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:43,500
And I'm taking notes because it's a good,
597
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:44,666
I wanna, a good question
598
00:22:44,666 --> 00:22:46,041
deserves a good response.
599
00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:47,750
Well, thank you.
600
00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:50,750
And I think too, I'm just so excited on
601
00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:52,083
the personal front and the
602
00:22:52,083 --> 00:22:53,500
professional front to have you.
603
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:54,833
It's been a pleasure.
604
00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:56,916
And I know we discussed before we
605
00:22:56,916 --> 00:22:58,125
started, we're gonna have
606
00:22:58,125 --> 00:22:59,791
you back for a deeper dive.
607
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:02,000
So today is just our overview listeners.
608
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:03,375
Don't worry, she'll be back.
609
00:23:04,166 --> 00:23:06,208
Okay, I think I have
610
00:23:06,208 --> 00:23:07,416
a pretty good answer.
611
00:23:07,416 --> 00:23:12,541
So what's interesting about the younger
612
00:23:12,541 --> 00:23:14,375
folk when they start dating, right?
613
00:23:14,416 --> 00:23:17,125
So we're talking about like students who
614
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:19,875
are like 20 to 25 in that age group.
615
00:23:20,458 --> 00:23:20,791
Absolutely.
616
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:21,625
Yeah,
617
00:23:22,708 --> 00:23:27,958
oftentimes they are very unaware of how
618
00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:30,958
their childhood has impacted them, mostly
619
00:23:30,958 --> 00:23:34,125
because they can still very much be
620
00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:37,083
integrated to their home of origin.
621
00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:39,958
So when you get
622
00:23:39,958 --> 00:23:41,833
older, see, I'm almost 50.
623
00:23:42,250 --> 00:23:44,583
So I've been out of my
624
00:23:44,583 --> 00:23:46,500
home of origin for 30 years.
625
00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:51,000
So when you get distance and you get a
626
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:51,833
little older and you have
627
00:23:51,833 --> 00:23:53,250
some more life experiences,
628
00:23:54,291 --> 00:23:56,875
it's easier to build perspective and to
629
00:23:56,875 --> 00:23:59,708
see things from a different lens.
630
00:24:00,291 --> 00:24:01,958
But someone, for example, who's attending
631
00:24:01,958 --> 00:24:04,500
university and still living at home and
632
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:08,375
still in that milieu, it might be a
633
00:24:08,375 --> 00:24:09,583
little bit more challenging,
634
00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:12,041
but all that more important.
635
00:24:13,458 --> 00:24:15,750
So I do think, number one, the most
636
00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:16,916
important thing to do is
637
00:24:16,916 --> 00:24:18,208
to learn about yourself.
638
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:23,166
So your subconscious mind is absolutely
639
00:24:23,166 --> 00:24:25,000
driving the show here.
640
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,750
Your subconscious mind, the patterns,
641
00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:28,750
like a computer program, you've been
642
00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:31,333
programmed over those 20 years, and now
643
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:34,083
your thought patterns, your emotions, and
644
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:37,583
your behavior is being guided by a set of
645
00:24:37,583 --> 00:24:39,000
rules that you've
646
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,833
inherited from other people.
647
00:24:41,416 --> 00:24:43,375
We all like to think we have free agency.
648
00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:46,875
You're running on autopilot through all
649
00:24:46,875 --> 00:24:49,000
of these sort of rules
650
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,333
that you've learned, right?
651
00:24:50,416 --> 00:24:51,041
Rules of engagement.
652
00:24:51,458 --> 00:24:52,916
So learn about yourself.
653
00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:55,583
Why do you do certain things?
654
00:24:56,250 --> 00:25:00,208
Why do you enjoy being around people all
655
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:01,333
the time or not enjoy
656
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,375
being around people?
657
00:25:03,625 --> 00:25:05,458
Why are there certain situations that
658
00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:08,083
make you anxious and yet other situations
659
00:25:08,083 --> 00:25:09,833
you really desire and crave?
660
00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:13,500
What really feeds your soul, right?
661
00:25:13,708 --> 00:25:15,333
Where are your passions?
662
00:25:16,291 --> 00:25:19,125
And the university time period is the
663
00:25:19,125 --> 00:25:22,125
best time to explore all of this, right?
664
00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:22,500
It is.
665
00:25:22,791 --> 00:25:25,375
On so many levels, academically and with
666
00:25:25,375 --> 00:25:28,083
friends and sexually and like, it's your
667
00:25:28,083 --> 00:25:30,166
time to explore and find yourself.
668
00:25:30,666 --> 00:25:34,000
So, you know, do a dive into your mind as
669
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,625
well, trying to understand
670
00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:38,166
what are my thought patterns.
671
00:25:38,166 --> 00:25:40,875
And that's simple as right before you
672
00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:43,083
make a decision, ask yourself,
673
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,916
what am I thinking right now?
674
00:25:45,666 --> 00:25:46,958
Bring your thoughts to
675
00:25:46,958 --> 00:25:48,166
your conscious awareness.
676
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:53,375
I'm about to say no to go to a party,
677
00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:56,000
but I really do wanna go.
678
00:25:56,250 --> 00:25:57,791
So why am I gonna say no?
679
00:25:58,041 --> 00:25:58,875
What am I thinking?
680
00:25:59,166 --> 00:26:01,958
Oh, okay, I'm thinking that the group
681
00:26:01,958 --> 00:26:03,291
isn't gonna like me.
682
00:26:03,375 --> 00:26:04,583
So that's why I'm not going.
683
00:26:04,916 --> 00:26:06,291
This is the stuff that you have to
684
00:26:06,291 --> 00:26:08,666
uncover, the reasonings, right?
685
00:26:09,333 --> 00:26:10,500
So learn about yourself.
686
00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:17,958
Then I would say, take the steps either,
687
00:26:18,208 --> 00:26:20,625
you know, through reading or watching
688
00:26:20,625 --> 00:26:23,708
videos or working with a counselor to
689
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:26,250
rewire some of this conditioning that is
690
00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:27,666
no longer serving you.
691
00:26:28,916 --> 00:26:31,291
So you might still be repeating behaviors
692
00:26:31,708 --> 00:26:34,083
from your childhood that you once needed
693
00:26:34,291 --> 00:26:36,166
in order to feel safe and protect
694
00:26:36,166 --> 00:26:39,625
yourself that you no longer need, but
695
00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:41,583
you're still on autopilot and you're
696
00:26:41,583 --> 00:26:42,750
repeating these things.
697
00:26:43,708 --> 00:26:46,166
So call yourself out, be honest with
698
00:26:46,166 --> 00:26:48,625
yourself and do the work
699
00:26:48,625 --> 00:26:50,875
to, and we can do this.
700
00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:53,958
We can reprogram, you know, these
701
00:26:53,958 --> 00:26:57,583
patterns in our minds so that you start
702
00:26:57,583 --> 00:27:01,208
adjusting your behavior into a way that's
703
00:27:01,208 --> 00:27:03,916
healthier and more conducive to healthy
704
00:27:03,916 --> 00:27:04,666
relationships with
705
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:06,500
yourself and with others.
706
00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:09,708
And the third thing is, I think the most
707
00:27:09,708 --> 00:27:14,000
important is I would really advise and
708
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,083
highly encourage people to find their
709
00:27:16,083 --> 00:27:19,875
authenticity and to
710
00:27:19,875 --> 00:27:22,000
live your authenticity.
711
00:27:23,125 --> 00:27:25,166
Too many times we are
712
00:27:25,166 --> 00:27:28,041
wearing masks in society, right?
713
00:27:28,333 --> 00:27:30,000
We are playing a role that we think
714
00:27:30,458 --> 00:27:31,666
others want us to play.
715
00:27:32,916 --> 00:27:35,000
Half the university students will
716
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,750
probably say they don't even want to be
717
00:27:36,750 --> 00:27:38,125
studying what they're studying, but their
718
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:39,708
parents wanted them to do it.
719
00:27:39,708 --> 00:27:40,666
And so they're doing it to
720
00:27:40,666 --> 00:27:42,791
please other people, right?
721
00:27:42,958 --> 00:27:44,375
People pleasing, we talked about this.
722
00:27:44,916 --> 00:27:48,375
Find your authenticity, figure out what
723
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:51,583
actually makes me happy, what actually
724
00:27:51,583 --> 00:27:54,250
sparks me and through all
725
00:27:54,250 --> 00:27:56,583
different areas of life, right?
726
00:27:56,625 --> 00:27:59,041
So that might be your career, it might be
727
00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:00,708
the types of friends that you want to
728
00:28:00,708 --> 00:28:01,833
surround yourself with.
729
00:28:02,125 --> 00:28:04,291
It might be the type of romantic partner
730
00:28:04,291 --> 00:28:06,750
you want or the type of relationship that
731
00:28:06,750 --> 00:28:09,000
you may or may not want because, you
732
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,375
know, in today's day and age, you can
733
00:28:11,375 --> 00:28:13,458
define your relationship in so many
734
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:15,541
different ways, right?
735
00:28:16,375 --> 00:28:19,666
It's so find truly your authenticity and
736
00:28:19,666 --> 00:28:20,750
what makes you happy.
737
00:28:22,125 --> 00:28:24,250
And I promise you when you're authentic,
738
00:28:24,958 --> 00:28:27,666
you will naturally find your tribe, the
739
00:28:27,666 --> 00:28:31,791
people who naturally vibe with you, who
740
00:28:31,791 --> 00:28:34,500
have the same alignment, but that and
741
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:36,500
that will be the biggest
742
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:38,416
gift to find your people.
743
00:28:40,041 --> 00:28:41,000
Oh my goodness.
744
00:28:41,291 --> 00:28:42,375
I love all three of those.
745
00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:44,458
I can't pick a favorite though, because
746
00:28:44,458 --> 00:28:46,666
they're also vitally important.
747
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:49,166
If I could encourage the listeners to do
748
00:28:49,166 --> 00:28:51,416
anything, it would probably be to listen
749
00:28:51,416 --> 00:28:54,666
to Bev because that was extraordinary.
750
00:28:55,375 --> 00:28:56,500
And you have not
751
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:58,416
disappointed even whatsoever.
752
00:28:58,791 --> 00:29:01,583
You have exceeded my expectations by a
753
00:29:01,583 --> 00:29:02,916
million and I cannot
754
00:29:02,916 --> 00:29:03,958
wait to have you back.
755
00:29:04,458 --> 00:29:06,583
But if somebody wants to learn, they want
756
00:29:06,583 --> 00:29:08,666
to follow your social media and engage
757
00:29:08,666 --> 00:29:10,541
with your content, where do they go?
758
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,291
Oh, thank you for that.
759
00:29:12,916 --> 00:29:16,166
So our website, securelyloved.com, we're
760
00:29:16,166 --> 00:29:17,666
actually a group of practitioners.
761
00:29:17,958 --> 00:29:20,333
So it's me and a group of practitioners
762
00:29:21,541 --> 00:29:22,000
who are working
763
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,916
specifically with attachment trauma.
764
00:29:26,583 --> 00:29:28,708
So you can take the free quiz on our
765
00:29:28,708 --> 00:29:30,500
website if you want to get a sense of
766
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,000
where you fall on that scale.
767
00:29:32,708 --> 00:29:34,791
You could also book a free 20-minute
768
00:29:34,791 --> 00:29:37,166
consult with me or with any of the
769
00:29:37,166 --> 00:29:38,791
practitioners that's securely loved.
770
00:29:39,583 --> 00:29:41,541
We are also on social media.
771
00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:46,083
My two sons who are in university at this
772
00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:49,500
point in time, they've helped me learn
773
00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:52,791
social media and so we are on
774
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:55,666
Instagram at securely_loved.
775
00:29:56,708 --> 00:29:58,875
I'm just building a new YouTube channel
776
00:29:58,875 --> 00:30:00,666
too because I'm trying to get some of
777
00:30:00,666 --> 00:30:02,125
this information out there.
778
00:30:02,458 --> 00:30:04,541
So on YouTube, we're at securelyloved.
779
00:30:06,166 --> 00:30:08,791
Yeah, and I would love to interact with
780
00:30:08,791 --> 00:30:11,083
people if you have questions or comments,
781
00:30:11,083 --> 00:30:11,791
either through the
782
00:30:11,791 --> 00:30:13,791
website or YouTube or Instagram.
783
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,208
I answer everything that comes my way.
784
00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:20,041
Well, I want to say a huge thank you for
785
00:30:20,041 --> 00:30:22,083
sharing your wisdom, your knowledge, your
786
00:30:22,083 --> 00:30:25,000
expertise for being so open about a topic
787
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,041
that can be nuanced and it can be
788
00:30:27,041 --> 00:30:28,916
difficult and filled with
789
00:30:28,916 --> 00:30:30,666
misinformation and taboo.
790
00:30:30,666 --> 00:30:32,125
So thank you so much
791
00:30:32,125 --> 00:30:34,125
for the demystification.
792
00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:35,500
We are so grateful.
793
00:30:36,666 --> 00:30:37,000
Thank you.
794
00:30:37,958 --> 00:30:39,541
Yes, and thank you so much to everyone
795
00:30:39,541 --> 00:30:42,541
for joining us on another episode of the
796
00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:43,916
Campus Chronicles podcast.
797
00:30:44,708 --> 00:30:46,833
(Upbeat Music)
798
00:30:47,458 --> 00:30:49,833
So if today's episode gave you life,
799
00:30:50,125 --> 00:30:52,750
perspective or just a much needed moment
800
00:30:52,750 --> 00:30:55,375
to breathe in a busy world, I don't want
801
00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:56,458
you to keep it to yourself.
802
00:30:57,250 --> 00:30:59,916
Share it, tag us, please send it to a
803
00:30:59,916 --> 00:31:01,625
friend who needs to hear it.
804
00:31:02,083 --> 00:31:03,500
And if you're not on our
805
00:31:03,500 --> 00:31:05,541
newsletter yet, what are you doing?
806
00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:06,500
Go to
807
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:09,625
campuscroniclespod.com and join the crew.
808
00:31:10,125 --> 00:31:12,416
We have all the behind the scenes things,
809
00:31:12,833 --> 00:31:15,375
unfiltered thoughts from me and the team,
810
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:18,750
bonus resources and insider only invites
811
00:31:18,750 --> 00:31:21,541
to events, giveaways and things that we
812
00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:23,666
really don't post anywhere else.
813
00:31:24,208 --> 00:31:26,041
I promise I'm not gonna spam you.
814
00:31:26,583 --> 00:31:27,708
It's just the good stuff
815
00:31:27,708 --> 00:31:28,958
straight to your inbox.
816
00:31:29,750 --> 00:31:31,791
Being in university is wild enough.
817
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:32,916
You don't need to
818
00:31:32,916 --> 00:31:34,291
miss out on what matters.
819
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,375
Sign up now and let's make this next
820
00:31:37,375 --> 00:31:39,041
semester the one that you stop
821
00:31:39,041 --> 00:31:41,708
surviving and start thriving.
822
00:31:42,708 --> 00:31:46,166
Until next time, stay bold, stay curious,
823
00:31:46,166 --> 00:31:47,666
keep writing your own chapter.
824
00:31:48,416 --> 00:31:50,041
This is Campus Chronicles.
