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55. Reframing Rejection
1st November 2023 • Educator Forever • Lily Jones, Teacher Advocate
00:00:00 00:09:45

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When literally trying anything new, the act of rejection is bound to happen at some point. And even though rejection is inevitable and part of the process, the feeling that comes when you’re rejected is never wanted. But what happens if you reframe rejection and start thinking about it as a learning opportunity and path toward success? In today’s episode, I’m sharing 5 ways that you can reframe rejection toward a more positive mindset. 

Since everyone experiences rejection in their life, there’s only one thing that separates those who succeed and those who don’t - perseverance. This idea is a common thread through my list of 5 ways you can reframe rejection because it truly is your key to success. When you have the right mindset, you will be able to reframe rejection in a way that sets you up for success.

For all links and resources mentioned in this episode, head to the show notes: https://www.educatorforever.com/episode55

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Transcripts

When you try literally anything new, rejection is gonna be a big part of it. Particularly when you're looking for flexible jobs beyond the classroom. Getting rejected means that you are on the right path.

And I know sometimes that is easier said than done to really embrace rejection. And I know all the feelings that come up as we apply for jobs and get our hopes up, and then get rejected, or really put ourselves out there and get rejected.

But truly, your mindset about rejection is everything. And if you can reframe rejection, to be something that you actually strive for, like, try for the rejections, then you will be set up for success. When you try for rejections, when you're like, I'm putting myself out there, kind of expecting to be rejected, but I'm gonna go for it, I'm gonna give it my best chance, then when you experience success, that you will be so excited.

So really, let's think about how to get into the right mindset and persevere through rejection. Because that's really where success happens. It happens to people who don't give up. We all experience rejection, we all have gotten rejection letters for jobs, for pitches, all the things.

And the difference between people who succeed, and people who don't, is that the people who succeed, persevere. And so I really want to talk about reframing our relationship to rejection. And we're going to get into five ways to do this.

So first is remembering that failure is a catalyst of growth. When we experience rejections or setbacks, it can feel disheartening, it's totally natural for these feelings come up. And when they do spend some time kind of examining them, don't push them away.

You know, really notice what comes up for you, and then partake in positive self talk, you know, pay attention to what your mind is telling you. Like, oh, sometimes my mind has told me like, oh, I should probably just give up, maybe I'm not suited to these jobs, there are so many other people out there with more experience than I have.

Those are all my thoughts, right? Those are thoughts that are coming up based on the feelings that I'm having around rejection, or those thoughts are causing my feelings around rejection.

But if we pause, and acknowledge the feelings of discomfort, take a few deep breaths, and repeat some helpful affirmations really flipping those thoughts and feelings on their heads, we can move on.

So maybe, you know, one of the affirmations could be that I have so much to offer the world, some of what I can offer is X, Y, and Z, you know, really pointed out to yourself. Or that it takes time to find the right fit, the most important thing is to keep going.

Or maybe I'm proud of myself, because I took a risk, and I put myself out there, and I'm gonna choose to celebrate that. Or, hey, this rejection didn't kill me, I'm gonna keep on doing it. I'm gonna commit to being rejected at least five times a week. And got means going out there, putting yourself out there playing the game.

So really, when you remember that failure is a catalyst of growth, you can put yourself in that right growth mindset. You can be like, alright, what am I going to learn from this, and you can really find an opportunity for growth.

The next way to reframe rejection is to embrace feedback. One of the best things you can do is to try and embrace the feedback that you're getting. As teachers, we might be used to receiving feedback from administrators in punitive ways and have really bad associations with feedback.

But regardless of our current relationship to feedback, we can shift our thinking, and remember that within each piece of feedback, there's important data to collect.

Maybe that feedback provides us with information to see that the specific place we applied for a job with isn't the best fit for us. Or maybe it doesn't really align with our values. Or maybe the feedback shows like Hey, I could have done a better job and my cover letter, you know, I really didn't put my best foot forward, I really could have explained my skills and how they connect more.

Everything is feedback. And so maybe after getting that feedback and reflecting on what you've learned, you might annotate the next job description before you apply for it. And really connect to specific pieces of experience or specific skills that you've had.

The next step is to cultivate resilience. And I love this idea of cultivating resilience, because it's something we can all work on. Resilience is all about harnessing your inner strength. And that can help you rebound more quickly from a setback or challenge.

It doesn't mean that we won't feel sad when we get rejected, it doesn't mean that we won't have a period of like having these thoughts come up that make us feel bad. That's okay. But when we cultivate resilience, we're able to bounce back more quickly.

So some ways to really focus on resilience include focusing on your long term vision, and setting goals to accomplish it. So maybe you're like, I really want to work as a curriculum developer. My long term vision is to work at an edtech company as a full time curriculum developer. Great.

So as you get rejected along the way, stay focused on that vision, and keep taking those steps that will allow you to get closer to reaching it.

Another way to cultivate resilience is by being in community and staying connected with supported peers, family members, friends, and maintaining a positive mindset through journaling, or mindfulness or gratitude practice or reading or exercising, like whatever works for you.

Every rejection brings you one step closer to finding the right opportunity. And it can be helpful to even reframe rejection as redirection, you're getting one step closer, and you're redirecting you're going on a different path.

The fourth thing you can do to reframe rejection is to find support. And I kind of mentioned this with the resilience, but really leaning into a supportive network of educators who understand the challenges that arise when you put yourself out there.

You know, it's different talking to teachers who are like, I'm tenured, I'm going to be in my classroom for a really long time. And then talking to teachers, who are really trying new things, putting ourselves out there being rejected, like normalize rejection, and be around other people who can really celebrate the progress that you're making by putting yourself out there, getting clear on your skills and your values.

And last but not least, celebrate small wins. In the face of rejection it's so easy to overlook the progress you've made. But take the time to celebrate small wins along the way. Recognize and appreciate the milestones you achieve like landing an interview or revising your resume or connecting with an inspirational former colleague.

Regardless of the size of your win. Don't stay so focused on getting the job that you forget to celebrate all the things that are within your control. Celebrating these moments will keep you motivated, reinforce your worthiness with so many skills you have to offer the world and remind you that rejection is just a temporary setback on the path to success.

So to recap, five ways to reframe rejection are: remembering that failure is a catalyst of growth. It is how we learn and grow. Number two, embrace feedback. Number three, cultivate resilience. Number four, find support. And number five, celebrate small wins.

I want you to go out there and think about what you can do today that you might be rejected for and really try and reframe that in your mind. Go for a rejection. Put yourself out there.

Do it in a way that you're proud of, and focus on that action that you can take. I am always cheering you on and here to support you through ups and downs and can't wait to see what you'll do.

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