I Am Number Nine: Minion Games, Movie Schemes, and Louis’ Villain Turn

Hosts Leif (a longtime Gossip Girl viewer) and Steve (a first-timer) recap Season 5, Episode 6, “I Am Number Nine” (aired Nov. 7, 2011), discussing writer Jake Coburn, director Andy Wolk, and returning minions plus Ivy/“Charlie.” They break down plotlines: Blair stages a bridesmaid competition that culminates in a “kiss Nate” challenge; Nate confronts being Diana’s secret boy toy and is manipulated into taking Ivy as his date; Louis bribes Chuck’s therapist Dr. Barnes to derail Chuck’s progress, but Chuck exposes the scheme publicly and later apologizes to Blair; Serena’s attempt to protect Dan backfires as Diana kills Dan’s movie deal and recruits Serena to write a Spectator blog aimed at taking down Gossip Girl. They grade the episode a C, name Serena’s blue dress best outfit, and tease Episode 7, “The Big Sleep.”

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Produced by Leif Capicola and Steve Marchion. 

Edited and mixed by Leif Capicola.

The Gossip Girl Theme Performed By Steve Marchion.

I had this thought that it'd be funny in a

hypothetical world where this movie does get made,

where the likable, relatable character is actually

Vanessa. Like, everyone loves Vanessa.

Yeah. Uh, the hero of the book.

Hey, Upper east siders, and all you scandal loving

listeners out there, you just tuned into the non

judging breakfast pod where the coffee is strong,

the waffles are fresh, and the gossip is hotter

than ever. My name is Leif and I'm your seasoned

Gossip Girl veteran.

And I'm Steve, the newbie, the rookie, the

greenhorn, the. Where are we now, Leaf? That we're

in season five?

I'm not sure, but what if we take this podcast and

glee it up? You know, music, originals or covers.

When you're a minion, you're a minion all the way

from your first Louboutins until your last part.

I was just kidding. This is an important

independent podcast, not newsies.

Oh, oh, of course, of course. So here's the deal,

folks. Leaf has been watching Gossip Girl since it

first aired, and I'm diving in for the first time.

And together we are your dynamic duo, bringing you

all the drama, romance and and sometimes

questionable fashion choices of this iconic 2007

series.

Bring your magnifying glasses, because each week

we're dissecting every juicy detail of the show

one episode at a time. We'll connect the dots,

uncover those sneaky little Easter eggs, and of

course, serve up some piping hot behind the scenes

tea. And expect some iconic phantom moments too,

because what's a deep dive without a little drama?

And since we are all about inclusivity here at the

non judging breakfast pod, there is always a seat

for you at the non judging breakfast table. So go

ahead and grab a mimosa, a cup of coffee, or roll

something up from Nader Chuck's stash, and let's

go ahead and get into this.

So we are here to talk about season five, episode

six, I am number nine. The original air date was

November 7, 2011. It was of course based on the

movie I Am Number four. This sci fi thriller

directed by DJ Caruso and starring Alex Petruff,

Pettifer Timothy Oliphant and Diana Argonne.

I'm not familiar.

Uh, I believe I did see this. It's very

forgettable because I don't remember anything

really about it other than I believe they are like

genetic experiments, these teenagers and they

escape and they have some kind of superpowers, I

think so.

It's like a young Timothy elephant.

He might have been the bad guy. Okay, it's 2011,

so it just came out and.

Oh, okay.

Diana Argon is, uh, Quinn Fabre from Glee.

Okay, okay.

The cheerleader. The blind cheerleader.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Timothy Oliphant is the one that

stood out for me in there.

I believe he might be like a villain, possibly.

That makes sense.

There's some, uh. I forget. I think that. Yeah,

Alex, he was someone at the moment too. Uh, he was

like some blonde, studly looking dude. Oh, okay,

that Diana Argon of dudes.

Got you.

This episode was written by Jake Coburn. He came

on the scene in season three. Written a few

episodes here, but you could tell because his

episodes are not great. So you could tell, but

he's advanced his way up the food chain.

Right.

Because he was story editor in season three,

executive story editor in season four. Now season

five, he is co producer. And in season six, he

will go on, uh, to be supervising producer.

Oh, wow.

But these are the actual episodes he's written so

far. In season three, Enough About Eve and the

Empire Strikes Jack.

Yikes.

And in season four, Easy J and Panic Roommate.

Yikes.

Yeah.

Easy J was the Tim Gunn.

Yeah. So that was an okay one. And Enough About

Eve was an okay one. That was with the freshman,

uh, toast, where Vanessa and Blair were competing.

Yeah, yeah.

And Blair tricks Chuck into kissing the dude.

Right, right, right. I was thinking Ava, not Eve.

That. I remember that episode now. That one wasn't

terrible.

But Empire Strikes Jack and Panic Roommate were

both really bad.

Yeah, really bad.

But he plays off his politics, I think.

Mhm. Yeah.

The episode was directed by Andy Wolk. This is his

first of three episodes of Gossip Girl. He's been

directing TV since 1990. He did the episode of

Sopranos in season one called Boca. I don't

remember that one.

No, I don't remember. I don't remember episode

titles like that for Sopranos.

So that's the one where everyone. The rumor goes

around about, uh, the Junior Gifts Head. Oh, under

the board.

Right, right.

And then, uh, he directed for Arlis, Tales from

the Crypt, Heart of Dixie, and Carried the Carrie

Diaries. Those last two are knittable because they

are also Josh Schwartz shows. So apparently he

liked his work.

What was the Carrie Diaries? Wasn't that a Sex in

the City thing?

It's prequel. Yeah, it's an 80s Carrie, uh, as a

teenager.

Okay.

It was really bad.

I can imagine. I can imagine.

So our guest star tonight, we get Alice Callahan,

friend of the pod, back as Jessica.

Yes. Great work.

Yep. And we have Amanda Seton as Penelope Shifai.

And Nan Zhang back as Cotti Farkas.

Yeah, yeah. It was a little bummed that notably

missing is. We are notably missing is. Uh, we've

also been noticeably missing Melissa Fumero as

well.

Yeah, I believe she's probably has other work at

this point.

Yeah, yeah. She may have gone on to, like, soaps

or something like that before going to Brooklyn.

Nine. Nine.

Nan Zhang. Ah. Taking some time off from medical

school.

Yes.

M. To come back to Gossip Girl.

Yes.

Why don't you give us that vulture recap?

Here we go. Uh, it's the nature of a Gossip Girl

character to be self destructive, to make poor

decisions that compromise one's morality and often

one's virtue. But on last night's episode, a few

Upper East Siders stood up and said, enough.

Serena decided that she would rather lose a job

she did not need at all than deceive her brother

lover Dan by helping to make a movie she knew

would displease him. Chuck made a decision to move

on from his prolonged period of mourning over

Blair. Nate told Diana he didn't want to be the

boy toy she secretly used for sex, but the boy toy

everyone knew she used for sexual. And Diana, in

turn, fulfilled her promise to show New York City

who she really is. Which is a dangerously scary

cougar.

Yeah, these are getting shorter and shorter as

they wind down towards the end.

I'm grateful for the length, but it's also. You're

giving up, aren't you, Vulture?

Even though they shout out in this episode.

Oh, yeah, they did, didn't they? Funny, they

didn't mention it too.

It is mentioned in the Reality Index, which is

like. So they have the recap, and then there's

like, something called the reality index they have

below that.

Uh-huh.

Which you should check out at some point. They

say, like, oh, mention vulture mention plus 10.

Oh, wow. Uh, okay, cool.

So we get into Act 1 with a gossip Girl monologue.

They say the road of life is long and winding, so

it's important to mark the milestones along the

way. From picking your bridesmaids to christening

your boss's new desk, landing on your first best

seller list, to finally asking for help. But keep

your eyes on the road, Upper East Siders, or you

could get lost along the way. We get that

narration over a short montage. Dorota is pinning

photos of Blair's minions, past and present onto a

whiteboard while Blair watches. Nate is trying to

work but continues to be sexually harassed by his

boss. Dan is cutting out the list that shows

inside Debuting at number nine. But we learn

Rufus's album debuted at eight. Shtuck Therapy

appears to be going well.

Few things here. First of all, it was the setup

for the minion battle, which was. I was here for

it.

Yeah.

Because it was just so classic.

It was the highlight of the episode.

Yeah, it was. It was. It was classic Gossip Girl.

It was classic Blair. Season one Gossip Girl.

Well, I hated Blair.

Uh, but I'm. But I mean, like, the. The

competition was very reminiscent of season one

Gossip Girl. Then we have the Nate and Diana

thing, where it's like, oh, can you come do

something else for me, please? Oh, not a problem.

Jesus Christ, Nate.

Yeah, like, oh, prosthete Nate Statute. And then

we also had the Lincoln Hawk debuts at number

eight. So one higher than Dan debuted.

Ah.

With his debut novel.

Uh, and Chuck's therapy appears to be going well.

Yeah, sure.

For now, sure.

God, I hate this. It's the fucking worst part of

this whole episode. No, it isn't, is it? Oh, my

God.

There is one positive. We'll get to that post

Quiteus. Nate asks Diana to be his date to the

party tonight, but she scoffs at the notion. Diana

doesn't want people to know she's mixing business

with pleasure. She then assigns Nate and Charlie

lists of people to personally deliver their

invitations.

Nate, sweetie, you keep using this word

relationship. I don't think you know what that

word means.

Well, I mean, they are in a form of relationship.

A relationship of sorts. Yes. I think that Nate

has a different idea of what this relationship

entails. Indeed, Nate wants to be a boyfriend

right now. And Nate is not a boyfriend right now.

No, he is a prostitute.

He is a prostitute. A beautiful, dumb prostitute.

Chuck is explaining to Dr. Barnes that he has a

repetitive dream of something being just out of

his reach. Dr. Barnes says Chuck is still hiding

someone, despite talking freely about his parental

woes.

Yeah, kind of a classic therapy scene. And, yeah,

it does kind of seem like it's going well for

Chuck. I. You know, he tries to, like, shoot some

flirtiness, and she's like, okay, I appreciate

your humor, but that's not what we're here for.

And Chuck, to just be like, you think I'm

deflecting? Yeah, you are. Felt actually maybe a

little more honest of a therapy scene than you get

in a lot of tv. I feel.

Blair goes to Louie, uh, at breakfast and asks

permission to do some scheming and manipulation in

her quest to pick a bridesmaid. Louie isn't

thrilled by the idea, but eventually relents as

long as her games are completed before the party

tonight.

First of all, Blair, you're not scheming. You're

just doing your classic Blair bullshit. So, like,

I don't know. I. But also the whole, like, oh,

well, Louie, you just don't have it in you to

scheme was kind of the takeaway, uh, of this one.

Yeah. Serena comes into work and Jane introduces

her to Diana. It turns out the two women are old

friends. Diana tries to pressure Serena into

coming to the party tonight and potentially

writing a blog about her life.

I have more. I gained respect for Serena in

regards to this, how she is like, I've been

followed my whole life by Gossip Girl. I'm not

about to do that to other people. I'm not going to

be your person to be the new Gossip Girl because

I'm not going to put other people through that.

And even through the episode, even through taking

the position later, she doesn't back down on that

point that she is not here to follow and ruin

people's lives.

Correct. Blair is laying out the basics of the

bridesmaids competition to Jessica, Penelope, and

Cotty when Ivy gets off the elevator at the

Waldorf apartment. Blair ropes Ivy into the

competition. So Ivy texts Nate to come pick up her

list of invites to deliver.

Uh, oh, yeah, because Nelli Yuki. Where's Nelli

Yuki? Well, she's still in school and she hates

you.

Yeah,

I would love a Nellie Yuki return.

I'm, uh, Nellie.

I would love for her to show up at some point, if

for no other reason, I want her to gawk at Dan

more like I want her to. I loved that. But, yeah,

then, oh, well, here's a random person that walked

in whose cousin will be in my wedding. So sure

you're in the competition now, Charlie. Makes

sense in the world of Gossip Girl. Yes, it does.

Louie has officially entered his villain era. He

is standing in the rain waiting for Dr. Barnes to

emerge from her building. He hands her an envelope

with money and aggressively tells her she needs to

cause Chuck to explode so that Blair will never

pick him again.

Louie, Louie, you fucking dumbass. As a human male

that I am. No better way to push someone into the

arms of someone you don't want them to than by

going through such lengths to make sure they stay

apart. It is like a law of nature that the harder

you try to separate two people, the more they're

going to just be drawn together. I think about my

daughter was dating this guy at one point who

snuck out of his house to come see her at mine. I

Knew he was coming over after work. I knew that it

was going to be late. I said this was okay. His

dad called me, flipping out, talking about how

they shouldn't be allowed to see each other and

how he wants to keep him away from each other. And

I'm like, why? My kid didn't do anything wrong.

Your kid snuck out. I'll tell him he can't come

here if you don't give him permission. My whole

point to this being after I fought to let Emily

still be friends with this guy or still be in a

relationship with this guy, she comes to me and

she's like, nah, I'm good. I'm not in for the

games.

Yeah.

So, like, if Louie would have just been like, oh,

uh, wow, I found this thing, but she's still with

me. Okay, well, that's the sign I need then. He

doesn't look like an asshole in the end. Here. Why

are you doing this, Louie?

Uh, well, it's because the theme of the show.

Yeah.

Is if you're around the Upper east side,

especially around Blair, you're just going to

become corrupted.

Yeah.

It's inevitable.

Yeah.

This is what Gossip Girl thinks about it, though.

Looks like Louie is about to make young Bass road

to recovery a bumpy ride. Better buckle up, Chuck.

We move into Act 2. Dr. Barnes shows up at the

Empire to light Chuck's fuse. She immediately

brings up Blair and presses Chuck on how he feels

about her marrying Louis. Chuck goes into his safe

and pulls out the Harry Winston ring and says if

he has really given up on Blair, he should return

the ring, which he does give to Dr. Barnes. As she

gets on the elevator to leave, she texts Louis

that she can't do this anymore.

I think the one big stand. There's two big

standouts to me in this scene. The first is that

when she gets there and Chuck is like, what are

you doing here? And she's like, I thought, um,

seeing you in your natural environment would help

me learn more about you. You had your entire way

over here to think up your lie. Plus the 24

seconds in the elevator that. Because isn't that

the timing of the elevator that we figured out?

Uh, well, her main explanation was that she felt

that the session was incomplete, which I don't

think a therapist has ever done, ever. No, no, but

still, I mean, that's an explanation. It makes

some sort of sense.

The number of times that I've been, like, mid

sentence with my therapist, and it's like, well,

that's the time we have. And my therapist was

really good about not just, okay, we're done. Get

out. But it was still. There's a time limit, and

they got

another patient coming in, and, uh, they have,

like a 10 minute buffer or whatever.

Yeah. If that. And it's like, I will see you next

week. My therapist, it would be like she would

walk someone out and walk me back in. So it's

like, I'll see you next week, and we'll talk about

this more. If there's something really bothering

you, text me.

Yeah. Serena and Dan are excited for the first

developmental meeting. Jane enters with an

executive from Warner's. Jane immediately starts

pitching horrible ideas for the script and

bulldozes right past Serena's attempts to defend

Dan and his protagonist, Dylan Hunter. Dan storms

out.

First of all, the exec that comes in, she's on the

pit right now. Princess on the pit. I don't know

if you're watching the pit, but I can't, uh, stop

watching it. It's, um.

I hear it's good.

It is fantastic. I. I don't. I don't know if

you're into, like, the genre.

Not particularly.

Yeah. And I'm not either, particularly. But I just

think they. That there's enough character drama

surrounding it that it makes for good tv.

It's on the list. So they talk about needing to

bring in an outsider character. I had this thought

that it'd be funny in a hypothetical world where

this movie does get made, where the likable,

relatable character is actually Vanessa. Everyone

loves Vanessa.

Yeah.

Ah, the hero of the book. Because it's funny you

say that, because what I. Where my mind went was

basically an extra character that was a super

likable guy that would end up actually being an

actual Nate instead of the conflagration of Nate.

And Eric would just lay out this whole thing, and

it's like, wow, I could have written him in my

book. Huh? Huh? Derek

Blair, with a bedazzled referee whistle around her

neck and trying her best to look like Kate

Middleton, explains the competition to the

minions. And Charlie Blair barks orders as the

competitors simulate the potential bridesmaids

tasks while Dorota pretends to be a paparazzo.

Yeah, that was funny. Yeah, the. And, like, she's

gotta be. Hide that baby bump. What baby bump?

Good on you. Good job, Jessica. Or wait, Jessica.

Yeah, Jessica. Right. Yeah. I kept, um, getting

her name and the actor's name mixed up.

Nate goes to deliver the invite to Keith Gessen.

Unfortunately, Mr. Gessen's assistant spills the

tea that Keith is Already going as Diana's date to

the party. Another assistant.

Uh, yeah. But honestly, this one might be the

first time I given up to an assistant because he

was like, he's already going to that party as the

date of the CEO. But I'll take this iPad from you

anyway. Thanks, sweetie.

Uh, you don't know about this. And you say you're

in media.

Yeah. Yes. You don't know and you're in media and

you don't know and, like, shows him the front page

picture.

Oh, Nate.

Sweet, sweet Nate. Nate M. You're. It's not a

relationship, Nate. You're a side piece

prostitute.

Serena goes to the loft and tells Dan that Jane

wants him to waive his right to the script. Serena

gives her word to defend Dan's vision and

convinces him to give it up.

Honestly, I think that that is the right move to

do objectively in a real world situation. If this

was the real world, Dan

has zero screenwriting experience.

Zero screenwriting experience. And she's right. He

should be right on his next novel. And they should

hire a great screenwriter to do the adaptation.

That is all objectively true. Like, they say he's

too close to the material to not just make it a

replica of the book. Which. Books and movies don't

always translate like that. Although the one

person did say that he could just copy and paste

it and it's done.

And, uh, this is what Gossip Girl says about it.

Careful, S. Everybody knows the road to hell is

paved with good intentions and shady bosses. Act

three begins. Nate calls Diana to confront her

about Keith Gessen. She doesn't deny it, but says

it's just business. She says now is not the right

time to tell people about her and Nate.

Yeah, he's just business, this other guy I'm

banging. Just business, huh? I'm just banging him

for business. I'm banging you for business and

pleasure. No, I'm prostituting myself out to

somebody else so that you can prostitute yourself

to me.

Exactly. It's the chain of prostitution.

It's the chain of prostitution.

Multilevel marketing.

Yeah, it's vertical integration. It's a pyramid

scheme.

Back at the production office, Serena tells Jane

that she got Dan to waive the rights. Jane is once

again team Serena. But much to Serena's dismay,

Jane explains that she is going to Zuckerberg,

Dan's character in the movie, and and reveals that

she already has Aaron Sorkin lined up to do it.

Aaron Sorkin would be a phenomenal screenwriter.

Now, this is also when she tells why she got Dan

off the project and everything too. This is where

she reveals that they're going to Zuckerberg him.

This is one of the most baffled, like, ridiculous

things to me. Because, like, you don't have a

draft of the movie yet, so this producer can go

ahead and say, yeah, give me a draft of this and

portray this guy this way. That doesn't mean

that's the movie that's getting made. Like, a

draft of the screenplay has not been written and

this producer is already locked in solid on this

one decision that this guy is an asshole, and

that's how we're going to portray him. And it's

like, it seems like an injustice to the story

you're trying to tell to.

So I get all that. But what I didn't get about

this plot at first was that the book already

portrays Dylan Hunter as the worst. They've

already said this multiple times.

Dan has said over and over, I come out looking

worse than anybody else.

Then I realized this is actually very smart

writing because they're writing Serena's character

as she is. She's fucking dumb, and she's trying to

protect people in the worst possible way. I don't

even know if Dan would have even minded this

whole.

Yeah, uh, he's already in the book

portrayed as the worst.

Well, and so, which brings me to another point

about this, that Serena is all like, oh, I'm

protecting you because they're going to Zuckerberg

you. Dan has also said multiple times, this is

fiction. This is an exaggeration. This is a

satire. This isn't real life. So if someone

watches that and they're like, wow, that guy's a

real asshole, they're not going to look at Dan

Humphrey and think, that guy that wrote this movie

is a real asshole. Like, even though. Even if they

know he's the insert, we know that Dan is the

insert of Josh. Josh Saf or Josh Schwartz on this

show, right? Mhm. And he can be an asshole. I

don't think any less of Schwartz. I don't give a

shit.

Blair explains to Charlie, Penelope and Jessica

that they have advanced to the next round. They

will be attending this spectator party with her

and Louie tonight. The first one to score a kiss

with Nate wins.

Oh, we. I missed the part where Cotty loses, I

guess.

But, uh, yeah, the previous competition part.

Yeah. So, uh, okay, yeah, the previous part.

Charlie gets top. Gets top marks, and Jessica, our

friend Jessica literally pushes Kati out of the

competition.

Yes, yes, yes, that's right. I forgot.

So now they're moving on to the next round. And.

But I do love the long running gag of Penelope's

unrequited love for Nate.

Yes. I thought it was so great. And I loved when.

When Blair did the reveal, how. How all. All three

of them were excited.

Yeah.

But well, for different. And played it so

differently. Like Charlie played it like, oh yeah,

I can do this. Like sweet Penelope was like,

sploosh. And like completely flipped out. And then

we have. And then you have Jessica like her

armpits, you know, which is also an ongoing thing

that they've used in previous episodes of her

getting sweaty. So I thought that was really

funny.

Alice, uh, did a really good job with the physical

comedy.

Yes. Yeah. Yes.

Knocking Katie over.

Yeah. And. And later on, like running through the

party and everything. And her reaction to that.

Uh, yeah, I thought that she. This was some of her

best work.

Charlie gets a call from Diana who is pissed she

gave her list to Nate. Charlie explains she has a

chance to be Blair's bridesmaid and cover the

royal wedding from the inside.

Smooth, smart.

Mhm. Unfortunately, it meant Nate was delivering

the wrong messages.

Right. And that's how Nate found out about the

chain of prostitution.

Serena calls Dan and invites him to her to be her

guest to the party tonight. She says Jane wants to

get to know him better, so he should be nice. Oh,

Serena, such low level. The scheming.

Yeah. Yeah. Blair is so much better at the

scheming. Serena always. She always knee jerk

schemes and she's not good at it.

Yeah.

Uh, she doesn't need a scheme. She just needs to

wield her power.

Yeah. Yeah.

And this is what Gossip Girl says about it. And

um, rare midact Gossip Girl blast spotted. S try

to navigate a slippery slope. But she's not the

only accident waiting to happen. Charlie shows up

the empire and finds Nate moping. He explains it's

about a girl who he fails to name and that she's

taking someone else to the party tonight. Charlie

says he needs to fight fire with fire by taking

her as his date, which he agrees.

Yeah. Well played, Charlie. Very well played. And

I feel like she's been kind of inate, uh, for a

bit now that I feel like she's noticed. Nate, I

guess is the better way to say it.

He's an attractive guy.

Yeah, he's a good looking dude.

Beautiful prostitute at the dog park. Dr. Barnes

is approached by Louis, who is upset she hasn't

returned his calls. She reiterates that the deal

is off and hands him back his envelope. Too late.

However, as Chuck Also walking his dog spots the

two arguing. Chuck calls Dr. Barnes phone and

leaves a voicemail that he needs to meet her

tonight.

Yeah, I think I'm in trouble. You need to meet me

at a party tonight. That's the place that I need

the m. The help with you is at a party.

Well, he usually tells people to meet him on the

rooftop.

That's true. That's true.

And now we get the end of act. Gossip Girl blast.

When you drive Chuck over the edge, it's you who

will wind up roadkill.

I totally forgot to bring up when he gave her the

ring and was like, give it to charity.

Yeah. We move into Act 4. Blair and Louie enter

the party. Louie is annoyed when he sees the

minions are here. Blair promises that they only

have one task left and he won't even notice them.

Jessica and Penelope are annoyed to see Charlie

walk arm in arm with Nate. Nate tells Charlie she

looks amazing.

Yeah, they look good.

And fuck off, Louis. I mean, who cares if her

friends are at the party? It's a fucking party.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And yeah, fuck off, Louis in

general, like, yeah.

So during the, uh, montage, we see Diana posing

with the real life Keith Geffen. Do you know who

he is?

Of Geffen Records. Right.

No. Uh, it's actually Gessen.

Oh, Gessen.

He is a novelist. Did all the Sad Young Literary

Men and a Terrible Country. A novel. He also is a

literary translator and co founder of the literary

magazine and N1. And then we see Chuck introduce

himself to Diana and Keith Gessen and says she

lives up to what he's heard about her. He then

gets the weird sense that he's seen her before,

but she just shrugs it off as a mistake. Chuck

sarcastically greets Louie as your highness, and

Blair tells him to give it a rest. Pass.

I did like Chuck in this scene. I like the whole

highness. I like that exchange. I don't like what

they're insinuating with the familiar feeling that

Chuck got when he saw.

Well, presumably he recognizes her from the photo

that was in Bart's files. Doesn't necessarily mean

I think she was just in the files.

I know, I know, but they're trying to make me

think something. They're trying very hard to make

me think something. And if you know me, you know

that thinking isn't what I like to do.

Dan enters the party and immediately finds Jane

and Serena. Dan thanks a surprised Jane for

inviting him. She quickly hides the shock and

tells him they got Sorkin to write the screenplay.

Dan goes to call his agent and tell her Jane is

Annoyed at Serena's attempt to get Jane to like

Dan, Jane says the Zuckerberg version is already

happening and takes Serena off the project.

She should. That was valid. Serena's too close to

it for sure.

Take your stupid high school games and get the

fuck out.

I also. I loved the line of, you're going to be

talking even faster than you do in real life. For

Aaron Sorkin writing it, I thought that was such a

great. I love Aaron Sorkin. There are many shows

that he's done that I think were fantastic. But

the thing I've always loved about him is his

mastery of dialogue and, uh, the way that he

writes his characters so quick and witty. I

actually was working on something with a friend

that I was going to have a character in it named

Aaron Sorkin. E R I N that her whole thing was

going to be whenever she was on, she would just

have a whole lot to say really fast and would just

really quick, witty conversation anytime she came

into the scene and then leave. But West Wing.

Yeah, a lot of good stuff.

Yeah. Sports radio. Not sports radio. What was it

called?

News radio.

No, it wasn't. No, he didn't do news radio. It was

a different show where it was a sports night. It

was called Sports Night.

Blair observes Jessica and Charlie's attempts to

win Nate's affection and is impressed when Charlie

makes, like, Justin Timberlake and causes a

wardrobe malfunction for Jessica, knocking her out

of the competition.

It was really funny. And the way Charlie played

this in every way was just kind of like, oh, I'll

go with you. Okay. No, yeah, go right ahead.

Voop.

To be fair, her competition just aren't the

brightest.

Yeah. Yeah, that's canon.

They're minions for a reason.

Yes. Although they do go to Colombia.

Yeah. Because they're fucking Nepo babies.

Oh, yeah. That was also true.

Diana approaches Serena at the bar. Serena says

she needs to kill the movie. Diana says she has a

history with Jane and she can have it killed if

Sarita wants it badly enough. And. And then walks

over to Jane.

Serena, you fucking dumbass.

But also, Diana's a really shitty negotiator.

Yeah, yeah.

She says, how badly do you want it? And then just

walks over and does it.

Yeah, I'll do it. Even for nothing, apparently.

Yeah. Like, she comes back. Oh, Serena would be

like, I didn't really want it that much.

It's not that big a deal.

What do you think Diana, uh, told Jane to get her

to kill it?

Well, she says that they have history and that not

all of it's good. So I'm assuming that she has

some kind of dirt on Jane. It's probably something

that is obviously.

Do you have any speculation?

Well, uh, my first guess. Well, I don't know.

There's the thought of did she Harvey Weinstein

someone? Does she have a casting couch history?

Because it has to be something big enough that if

it got out, it would be embarrassing to Jane.

Right. So it has to be something big enough. Uh, I

don't think Jane killed someone copyright stolen

something. I think there's many different possible

angles.

Also, I had a thought. This episode when Diana

didn't want her and Nate to go public. Could that

possibly be because whoever is behind her didn't

actually want her to be fucking Nate?

Yeah, yeah, I had that thought that. Well, maybe.

But they did set the whole thing up in motion at

like they started this whole thing by her fucking

Nate.

Remember though, that was never part of the plan.

Oh, okay.

She wasn't supposed to meet him until she came

back.

Yeah, but she is the one that immediately fucked

him. Yeah, like she was like, oh, he's here. We

better start this thing early. I'm going to go

bang this. I'm going to go bang this 20 year old.

But was that part of the plan or not?

I always assumed it was. I always. I know you did

some kind of honey pot because I know you sand it.

Yeah.

Oh.

I mean, what could have been. I want to catch a

Nate. I'm going to set a honey pot.

I mean, you can set the honey pot without actually

consummate.

Yeah, without. Yeah, without dipping the honey

into the. Dipping the wick into the honey. But

she's not very good at this. I mean, once again,

she's basing her media empire on a newspaper in

2011.

But again, it's hard to write smart characters if

you're not a smart writer.

That is a difficult thing for these writers

sometimes.

Charlie is watching Nate and Chuck talk across the

room and is approached by Penelope who says she

has given up. Charlie doesn't think that she's

Nate's type and tells Penelope that Nate said she

was the hottest girl at Constance. Penelope works

up her courage and goes in for the kiss, but a

confused Nate dodges her. She ends up in an

embrace with a waiter and gets dismissed by Blair

for consorting with the help. Louie just shakes

his head at Blair's antics. Chuck, however, smiles

in amusement before he sees Dr. Barnes enter the

party.

Yeah, Charlie, that was so beautiful. So well

played. And Nate, the way he's like, whoa. And

Penelope Uh, the choreography of this whole thing

was perfect. The way she falls into the. The

waiter's arms. It was. I loved it. I loved it.

What did I say about consorting with the help?

Dan asked Jane why she's leaving already, and she

tells him it's because Serena had the movie

killed.

Not much really to say about that. It's. Yeah, she

was pretty pissed that. Mhm. Her friend hosting

this party just sold her out. Yeah.

Diana begins her speech about the launch of the

Spectator. Charlie dares Nate into kissing her to

make his girl jealous. Blair raises her glass to

Charlie from across the room. But Diana also sees

the kiss, causing her to momentarily stumble. Her

words, she continues, and gives fair warning that

she plans on stealing the best staff from her

competition.

Did Blair notice Diana's reaction?

I don't think so.

Okay. There was, uh, the way that they edited

that. There was a moment that I kind of thought

that when Blair first looked over, I thought that

she. Because it's right after she falters. Then

Blair looks over, and I couldn't tell if it was

just the editing, how it just turned out, if just

Blair just noticed like that, but I couldn't tell

if Blair was piecing that together too.

I didn't get that. I think she was looking at

Nate,

and I think that that's how it resolved. It was

her initial glance over. I thought that she. That

was why she glanced. But then, like you said, then

it was just all about Charlie. So I thought it was

a little

odd to me, uh, in that previous scene where

Penelope gets eliminated, I think it's worth

noting the difference of reactions between Louis

and Chuck to the whole.

To the scheming. Yeah, yeah. That Louis annoyed

and Chuck is amused. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you

had actually mentioned that, which I didn't really

pay attention to when I was watching it, but when

you mentioned it.

Well, because Chuck's, uh, expression quickly

changes when he. When he sits, he sees Dr. Barnes

enter the party. Yeah, but, like, it was kind of

weird. You get the quick shot of Chuck, like,

right after that, and he's like. He's, like,

smiling. He's, like, smirking a little bit. And

then he sees Barnes enter, and

he's like, uh, where is she? Where's Dr. Barnes?

Chuck steps forward and offers up the first story

for the Spectator. His therapist has been trying

to coerce him into unspeakable acts. Dr. Barnes

steps forward to deny the accusation. Chuck then

explains it's because Louie is paying her to do

it.

Yeah. I don't know why the sex Acts thing. Because

you could have just come right out with the, uh,

hey, this royal is paying my therapist.

It wasn't sex acts. It was unspeakable acts.

Oh, I thought he said hypnotized for unspeakable.

Oh, I. I guess I assumed unspeakable acts or sex

acts.

I thought it was more just like, more abuse and

getting angry and pissed off and causing issues.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I. I guess I just looked into it

as like he did at

the end of last season. This is what Gossip Girl

says, though. Don't worry be. You're still

marrying a. Ah, Prince of fools.

Gossip Girl. You do better. Do better. Gossip

Girl. Lies was right there.

Act 5. Louie chases Blair down outside the party

and confesses that he found the paternity test. He

explains that he needed her to see that Chuck

would always be the wrong choice. Blair says that

she and Chuck both know they can never work and

that, uh, Louie should know it too. She knows

Chuck will never change, but now she is scared

Louie is changing into him.

Um, yeah. Again, goes back to the.

You.

You hang around these people long enough, you

become these people. And that's exactly what is

happening to Louie. But also, I thought it was

really funny when she's sitting there talking

about Chuck. Chuck will always be like this. Chuck

will never work. Chuck is always this. Chuck is

always this. You're expecting there to be a

cutaway to Chuck hearing her say all of these

things? That is very classic tv. And they do that

in Gossip Girl a lot, and they didn't. It was

Blair speaking from her heart. This is. You're who

I want, not him. And also the whole, like, oh, I

found the paternity test.

You.

You are still trying to make a choice. And it's

like, if that's the case, this is a few weeks ago,

Louie. Like, this is. This is. This is old news

now, Louie. So, like, yeah, calm the fuck down.

It's yours. She's with you. You don't need to wor.

Like, the more you worry about Chuck, the more you

push her to Chuck.

Yeah. Dan finds Serena and asks her why she killed

the movie. Dan assumes she killed it because she

didn't like her character in the book, but Serena

corrects him and says this time she was looking

out for his character. Way to go, Serena.

Yeah, yeah.

Road to Hell is paid with the best intentions.

Yep. Yeah. And I mean, one of those big things

here, like, you killed this movie. Instead of

talking to Dan and being like, hey, this is what

they want to do with your character. Are you Cool

with it. If not, I'll kill it.

To be fair, she was just kind of, like, talking

about she needs to kill it. And then Diana just

went and killed it.

And then Diana just went and killed it. Yeah, that

is true.

Nate and Charlie are flirting when Diana walks

over and blows up Charlie's spot. She lets the cat

out of the bag by congratulating Charlie on

winning Blair's competition, which immediately

kills Nate's wood. Diana then surprises Charlie by

revealing that she is Nate's girl. Nate is pissed

at Charlie for using him, but Charlie is even more

pissed he didn't tell her the person they were

trying to make jealous was their boss.

Yeah, that's kind of key information. Kind of key

information there. Your boss that kind of hates

her. That, you know. Yeah.

But Nate lives in a world where endless jobs are

just handed to him.

And women, too, where endless jobs and. And a

parade of women are always just available to him.

We know Ivy lives in the real world.

Yes. Yes.

Chuck finds Dr. Barnes leaving the party and mocks

her when she says she is closing her practice. He

sobers a bit when she tells him that Louie not

only paid her for information, but also to try to

intentionally drive Chuck back to the person he

used to be. She said he still has a chance to

change, apologizes, and then returns the ring. I

can ring a Sauron over here already.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and again, like, the whole,

like, give this to charity, and my thought was,

like, you know, this could probably feed at least

10 people, right? How much can one banana cost,

Michael?

See, when she gets to the ring and immediately

texts Louis that the deal is off, I assume that's

because she's going to give back Louise check. And

then use the ring to solve her problem that she

had undergone.

Right, Right.

But apparently, she did have a change of heart,

and she's not a completely horrible person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And this is proof that even one of the worst

therapists ever can still actually have a positive

therapy.

Still can still have a positive impact. Yes. Like,

we've said all along that these people need

therapy, and Chuck had shitty therapy, and he's

already doing better.

And, uh, they're definitely hammering that home.

That he is a changed man.

Yeah.

And Gossip Girl's final act break last says this.

Spotted Chuck Bass standing at the crossroads.

Looks like we're gonna have to watch his every

step. We go into the epilogue. Diana finds Serena

at the bar once again and presses her to write for

the Spectator. Serena says she doesn't want to

write a gossip column, but Diana convinces her by

telling her that Serena can take down Gossip Girl

and give her side of the story without spreading

gossip. They make plans to meet in the office to

brainstorm ideas.

M. Honestly, Serena, I think this is kind of good

for you. Doing a very positive blog would probably

do a lot of good for you. Journaling, like,

essentially, like, blog journaling. Yes, Serena.

Like, you can really have your side of the story

out there, and all attention is on you. It is all

about you.

I believe this is right around the time when,

like, Goop was really getting popular. And then

Blake Lively actually tried to do her own version

of that.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Nate approaches Diana and gives her an

ultimatum. They go public right now, or it's over.

Or this relationship that is a real one that we're

in is over.

Blair is surprised to find Chuck waiting

downstairs at her apartment. Chuck goes through a

checklist of apologies for all his biggest

transgressions. Blair thanks him, and he tells her

she will be an amazing mother. Yeah. Nice scene.

Yeah, this was nice.

I thought they both well acted.

Were well acted. I felt it was really sincere. I

thought Blair was really moved by it. I loved how

she walked in is like, what are you doing here?

And then when he's like, I'm not apologizing for

tonight. Like, I'm apologizing for all of this

other stuff, which he never has given her an

apology, so it's a good step. Chuck.

Problem is this is a season too late.

Yeah. Yes.

They should have. If they're not gonna kill him at

the end of season three. This should have been the

season. The beginning of season four storyline

for.

Yes. Yes. Agreed.

They waited a whole season too long.

Yes. Yeah. They had to. They had to make him so

much worse that they're just. And which is also

kind of what's annoying me about this new glow up.

Because it's at least the third glow up of Chuck.

So I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop,

you know, it seems. Wow. Yeah, he's really

changing. It's really sincere. Yeah.

Uh, it would hate for another mother to show up

and. Yeah, I would wreck his new outlook on life.

That really would be annoying. That would be. That

would be really bad writing and some really shitty

plot development. I really hope that doesn't

happen.

Dan arrives home to find Rufus waiting with bad

news. His book dropped off next week's bestseller

list.

I love that. I loved that Dan had all this success

and it just kind of disappeared. And then Rufus is

like, well, now that Aaron Sorkin's Writing it, It

should just jump right back to the top. And he's

like, there's not gonna be a movie. Movie.

Dang.

And that's one of those things that. That, like,

Robin made the comment of, like, just take the

movie somewhere else. And it's like, you can't.

Yeah.

Like, if that sign.

Yeah.

If there's a contract, they've got 10 years to

make that movie, so it'll be at least 10. I think

that's the. The way that those laws work. They

have. That they own.

I think that's usually negotiated as part of the

contract. The length.

Yeah, they basically have the rights to that. I

believe that there's, uh, Like a cap. Yeah. You're

kind of fucked. Serena really screwed you over on

this, Dan.

Yeah. The deal is also. Usually you get a certain

amount to buy it, and then a certain, um. And then

you get more if it actually gets made.

Yeah. A lot of people I've known, people that just

write a screenplay and sell it, and what gets made

isn't the screenplay that they wrote, even because

they give it to some other writer to work it over.

Charlie goes to Diana's office to apologize for

kissing Nate. She had no idea they were involved.

Diana wants Charlie and the rest of the world to

know that Nate is hers. She spins the monitor

around, revealing the new top story on the

Spectator. Nate and Diana are officially a couple.

She then once again threatens to out Charlie's

real identity if she crosses the line.

Charlie wasn't into Nate. Well, I mean, like I

said, she noticed Nate, I felt. But she was

getting this story. And for Diana to be like,

nate's mine. It's like, lady, you're 20 years

older than this kid.

What the fuck? She's sad.

Sad.

Ah, and pathetic.

Sad and pathetic with your media empire.

She announces her own relationship on the website.

Yeah, on her website that she's announcing that

she's banging her top employee.

Is it her top employee or just an intern?

Well, yeah, her best intern. Well, at least best

at, uh, dicking her.

But Nate's gonna have to borrow Serena's blue

dress.

Oh.

Oh.

Cigars.

Serena is sitting on, uh, in bed, on her laptop

and begins writing her blog titled S by S. Good

job, Serena. Did you pause and read it?

No, I. I read some of it as she was.

As it flashed, but it's very high school essay. It

says, people in New York love to gossip, but most

of the time, they don't know what they're talking

about. That's why I want to clear the air that's

kind of where it.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I did read that. Yes.

But yeah, I mean, very high school essay.

What do you expect from Serena Vanderwood

clearly laying out her thesis?

Yes. Yeah. Did you learn how to write like that at

Columbia? Serena?

Blair is alone on her couch and gets a call from

Louis apologizing that he has to go on a trip for.

For a few days. But Blair thinks a few days apart

might be good for them.

Yeah. Blair's pissed at you, Louie. With good

cause.

Mhm.

Now that all of this is out, what Louie did is the

most up thing. One of maybe like top three most up

things someone has done on this show. To go and

pay a therapist to someone up to pay someone's

therapist to ruin their progress is monstrous. It

is monstrous.

And like, edges kind of waved away.

Yeah. And everyone's like, they're a little bit

pissed off, but yeah. Uh, they're probably just

gonna get over it next week.

Yeah. Well, exactly. And I'm glad that Blair at

least at the end is like, we need time apart.

Like, I'm glad that she at least is sort of

punishing him for it. But it really is like, aside

from Chuck assaulting people on a few occasions,

this might be the most. Or Lily sending someone to

jail for five.

For a few years. Agnes as well. Drugging Jenny and

dropping her off at the bachelor party.

Yes. Yeah. Agnes drugging Jenny might. Might be

number one.

Georgina also roofied Serena.

Yes, yes. So there's been two instances of

roofing. There's been two instances of sexual

assault. And three. Three. Uh, are you.

I'm counting episode 420.

Okay. Which I was just. I was about to say. And

one just assault.

But he tries to grab her and kiss her though, so

he does.

You're right. You're right, he does. So three

instances of sexual assault and. And then Lily

sending a man to jail for a few years who belong,

uh, who deserved to get fired. Like someone who

wasn't super innocent but

did go to jail for something he technically didn't

do.

For something he technically didn't do. But like,

Louis is up there paying someone's therapist to

ruin their progress is monstrous.

You're not wrong. And in the final scene, Chuck

walks up to Harry Winston Inc. In the middle of

the night and reverently leaves the ring on the

doorstep.

Chuck, they have hours. You could get at least,

I'm sure a partial refund for that.

But I like how he puts it down on the step. He

taps it. He's so reverent towards tucking it in.

Good night, sweet prince.

On, uh, the streets of New York. Someone's not

gonna just come and grab that, Right?

Well, and someone's gonna go pay off their

mortgage with this ring. And, uh, yeah, it was.

Yeah, that just cracked me up. And the other side

of it is, like, he puts that there, and, you know,

he probably could go in and return it and get

something. Although he probably also has it

insured so it's not picked up. It's like, oh, this

ring was stolen. Yeah, stolen. And the poor guy

who, like, picked up a random wedding ring goes to

jail. Or engagement ring.

Uh, this is Gossip Girl's final monologue of the

episode. They say every road comes to an end, but

sometimes the end feels just like the beginning.

Even when you think you've come a long way, you

can suddenly find yourself right back where you

started. Because every journey is fraught with

twists and turns, and one false step could spell

disaster. But no matter what, you still have to

stay the course and forge your own path, because

there is no going back now. And it looks like this

one is going to be the ride of our lives. Xo xo

Gossip Girl. That is our episode. What's coming

next?

Well, Blair and Louie are gonna have some tension,

but they're gonna work it out because we're

waiting for that wedding for them to break up.

Chuck is going to try to convince me that he's a

good guy now, and I feel like the show is going to

try to convince me that for a little bit. But

there's also this whole Diana storyline that needs

to unwrap as well. The Chuck Diana shit is just

taking another step. I think that Charlie and Nate

are going to become a thing and really make Diana

mad, which could lead to Ivy being outed. But I

think we've got time before Ivy's outed. And

honestly, I think Ivy gets outed when Diana brings

the real Charlie to New York. If there is a real

Charlie that I would assume. I assume, Char, Diana

is going to be the one to out Charlie, right?

Because she's the one that has the info. And I

think the best way to do it would be bring in the

real Charlie. So that was just. I just thought of

that right now. But I don't think that things are

over with inside. I think that we're going to see

something else come up of this with Dan. I think

that unless they're just moving on from that story

altogether, but I feel like it was too big.

I, uh, will reveal that Jane and Dr. Barnes. This

is the last we see of them.

Okay. I actually kind of figured Jane's part was

done. I wasn't sure about Dr. Barnes, but it makes

sense for her to be done. I kind of thought that

Chuck was going to go back to her and be like,

hey, you know what? Now that you were honest with

me, no bullshit, whatever, but because I really

would like Chuck to continue therapy. I think

that's good for Chuck.

Yeah. Ah.

But I think that inside was too big of a plot

point, that too many plot points of that haven't

been resolved yet. The Nate thing hasn't really

been settled with Nate's feelings about it. I feel

like there's more up in the air about it.

Blair still hasn't read the whole thing.

Blair still has not read the whole book. Uh, which

I think she'll do before the wedding. So, yeah,

she's taking time apart from Louis for a few days.

She's got time to read. Uh, I believe those are my

predictions.

Yeah. Louie will be absent from the next episode.

Oh, good. I'm over the Grimaldis at this point.

Any updates on your prediction on who stays

longer, Louis or Diana?

I think Diana. I feel like Diana is going to be

in, um, for a while now. I think Louis, I think

that the wedding is probably around episode 11. I

think that that's my guess, just based on our

conversations. That being the point where people

are like, fuck this show. I feel like that's the

wedding. I feel like the wedding episode. A few

things are going to happen. I feel like that's

when they're going to get rid of this baby. I feel

like that's when they're going to get.

The miscarriage is going to happen at the wedding

or.

Or right before. Or, uh, within. Within an

episode. Either one before or that episode is

going to blow everything up.

So she's going to have the miscarriage and they're

still going to get married.

I think that they're.

I think they're still going to attempt to get

married.

I think they're going to attempt to. And then be

like, well, no, this isn't going to. I think I

feel like it's going to be a leave at the altar

thing. That she's going to be there and be like,

well known. This isn't what I want anymore. I do

think it'll be Blair who will call it off.

So zero chance they actually get married.

I do not think they'll actually get married, nor

do I think that baby is making it to the second

trimester.

And do you still have any thought that it could be

Chuck's?

No, no. Uh, now that Louis has seen the. Has seen

the report, it's quite solidly. Louis.

Well, you said before you didn't think Blair had

even opened it.

Yeah, I wasn't sure if Blair had even opened it.

That it was ripped up still and taped up the way

it was. I wasn't convinced she had, but now I am.

Now. Now I feel like that has all been resolved.

Fair enough. Let's get into segments. Hello there.

Peabody here. And this is the Wayback Machine for

traveling through time. And this is my boy,

Sherman.

Speak, Sherman. Hello.

Good boy. This week in Fandome, we jumped in the

Wayback Machine to travel to the Television

without pity forums from 2011. Their overall

impression. This was another filler episode.

Yeah. And I mean, some important stuff happened.

The movie stuff I think is important to the plot

and the Chuck Therapy thing. I. In fact, I would

argue it wasn't a filler episode, but felt like a

filler episode. It was. I felt like it wasn't

meant to be, but just is because it wasn't very

good.

What's with this shitty parody of Blair?

I thought that it was just a throwback to earlier

seasons, but.

Yeah, we don't want Blair to regress to what she

was in high school.

Yeah. I just felt like it was an homage, like a

throwback. I wasn't. I wasn't upset with it. I get

it. I get your point. I get their point. I just

wasn't bothered by it.

Positive vibes for Ivy as a character. Comparisons

to Jenny before Tyler Mumpson took over.

Wow.

Rude. So season one and two, Jenny.

Yes. No lies. No lies detected. I also, I agree. I

think that. I think that Charlie. Ivy. Charlie is

fitting in really well. I think that she's really

come into her role really well.

She is definitely kind of filling that Jenny sweet

spot. Not as good as Jenny, but just diet Jenny.

Yeah, yeah, Jenny Light.

They hope the writers will stick with the Chuck

redemption line this time. Um, really like the

apology scene.

Yeah, yeah, I really like the apology scene and

I've been saying the same thing. I'm tired of

Chuck glow ups. So if they can keep him up, great.

But I'm worried about the carpet getting pulled

out from under us again. Is he going to object at

the wedding or some shit? That is the fucking

course he is.

Uh, of fucking course he is disappointed that

there's back to back episodes with no movement on

the dare front.

Yeah, yeah. Get them back in each other.

There's a lot more Chuck, Blair and Dan Serena

movement this episode.

Yes. And we all want everyone but Robin wants the

dare. The dare progression.

But finally, many people still believe the baby is

Chuck's.

I mean, like, I can see it, but except for the

fact that Louis saw the thing. Louis read it.

Yeah.

I don't think Blair doctored it. I don't think she

changed it. I think that she put it in a drawer to

forget about it.

It would have been mentioned.

Mhm.

If it was jocks.

Yeah.

That is it for this week in fandom. Moving over to

episode grades. It is my week to go first. I

agreed with them. This was kind of a filler

episode. Nothing too special, but wasn't horrible.

So right down the middle. I gave it a C. Yep.

Yeah, I'm. I'm right there with you. I didn't hate

it. I chuckled a few times. Right down the middle.

Not one of their best. Definitely not their worst.

Moving over to Stockwatch. Going up. Not a lot

going up for me, just Chuck for appearing to be

moving on the right path at the moment at least.

So I gave him up. And Nate for finally kind of

standing up for himself a little bit. And he got

to kiss Charlie as well. So those are my two ups.

Yeah, I was going to do Chuck as well for just

throughout the episode. Chuck, you know that. That

apology at the end. Chuck doing a decent

redemption arc. I also wanted to give up to Nate

because he in the end, the boss admitted that

she's banging him, everybody. I also wanted to

give it to Ivy because she did manage to get into

Blair's wedding party. She won the competition and

she got to make out with cutie Nate. So I'm going

to go ahead and give Charlie the up. And also I'm

going to give the up to the secretary for the

first time. The first secretary to get a plus for

owning Nate for being in media and not knowing

that his boss in media was banging another media

guy, another media mogul.

So I had Ivy slash Charlie as neutral because she

just barely continues to walk the line. So I. I'm

keeping her new. She's walking that line. I. I

accept walking that line.

I accept that I feel like she is walking that

line, but I feel like she is just one. I feel like

she is always just one step above the line right

now. So that's where I gave where I fell for

Rufus.

I also had neutral because Matt settles no longer

getting good directing. So I couldn't tell if he's

being generally supportive for Dan or if he's

gloating.

Yeah.

Because we also never really got the apology

scene. We saw him calling Dan, but we never got

the resolution.

Yeah.

We never saw them make up and see what the

resolution was.

Yeah. So Rufus is sitting here like, oh, your

fucking movie. That's a shame. Oh, it's a shame

that your shitty book isn't getting turned into a

shitty movie about me.

Oh, you were number nine. I was number eight.

I was number eight. So that by math, that makes me

one better than you, Hasan.

But going down. Speaking of Dan, I have him going

down because he lost his movie.

Yep. Dan lost his movie deal.

Serena going down because she caused it.

Yep.

Jane, because she also lost the movie. Dr. Barnes

for being a horrible, thorough and an ah,

unethical therapist. Louis, for being a full on

villain.

Mhm.

And Diana for the. AKA the new Vanessa.

She just.

Just being horrible.

Yeah.

For just being horrible.

Just being horrible and being on this show where

you don't belong. Yes, you are terrible. And yeah,

be gone.

Who do you got going down?

My list, I believe is exactly the same, only I'm

also gonna add the minions because all three of

them failed out of Blair's wedding.

Okay.

But yeah, Diana, Dr. Barnes, Jane, Dan, Serena,

Louis.

Um.

Um. Diana. I'm going to leave Blair neutral. I

think that's it for me. Yeah.

I actually meant to put Blair going down.

Oh.

Because I thought she was just ridiculous the

whole episode. She needs to grow up.

I was fine. I didn't mind it. I get it. I get

where you're coming from.

Yeah.

I think her arc is to get beyond just being pure

scheming.

Yeah. I agree. She'll get there.

That part of Louis actually kind of agreed with.

Yeah. But here's the best outfits from the last

episode we've seen.

Moving to best outfit, for me, it was Serena's

blue dress with the matching earrings and hair

tie.

Yes. The

one shoulder mini dress.

Uh, it was the. Hold on. I actually looked this

one up because I liked it so much. Uh, the

Thornton Brigaze. It was, uh. Yeah, it was. I'm

sorry. It was called Preen by Thornton Berghazi.

Was what I found the blue dress that she wore. And

I had the same one. It was actually maybe my

favorite dress Serena has had so far on this show.

Definitely in a while.

Yeah, it's been a while. And. And it was just very

pretty and very elegant and I thought it. And I

thought it looked great on her. Yeah.

That is it for segments. Do you have anything you

would like to plug?

Well, uh, I Feel like I plugged a lot this episode

already with the Pit and Aaron Sorkin. So other

than that you can go ahead and find me on TikTok

or Instagram Steve Marshon M a r C H I O n and

also I'm going to keep telling you to listen to

Dungeon crawler Carl uh on Audible

and you can follow me on social media. You can

find me on bluesky and on Instagram hotcapicola

that's H o t C a P I C o L a and you can find the

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Talk at work this week.

And we will be back next week to Talk about Season

5, Episode 7, the Big Sleep no More. The episode

description reads, Several of our favorite Upper

East Siders attend a performance of Punch Druck's

provocative theater experience, Sleep no More.

Meanwhile, Diana sets her sights on Serena in her

quest to ruin Gossip Girl. Dan is out on his book

tour, but things aren't exactly as they appear to

his friends and family.

Bum, bum bum.

Until next time. You know you love us.

XOXO Every time you walk away, run

away you take a piece of me with you Every time

you walk away or run away you take a piece of me

with you there Every time you walk away or run

away you take a piece of me with you there oh, it

seems I'm walking right to your door My heart

still resting

looking for something more

Are you ever gonna see everything you mean to me

I'm trying really hard to believe Every time you

walk away or run away you take a piece of me with

you there Every time you walk away or run away you

take a piece of me with you there every time you

walk away or run away you take a piece of me with

you there never feels right when I'm out here on

my own I left last night and it feels like way too

long m are you ever gonna see everything you mean

to me I'm trying really hard to believe every time

you walk away run away you take a piece of meat

with you there every time you walk away or run

away you take a piece of me me with you there

every time you walk away or run away you take a

piece of me with you there

come

back to me smile and you'll make my life complete

every time you walk away run away you take a piece

of of me with you there every time you walk away

or run away you take a piece of me with you there

every time you walk away or run away you take a

piece of me with you there every time you walk

away or run away take a piece of me with you there

every time you walk away run away and take a piece

of me me with you there every time you walk away

and run away you take a piece of me with you there

every time you walk away or run away you take a

piece of me with you there every time you walk

away or run away you take a piece of me with you

there.