Morning 6-Pack - New Year's Resolutions That Don't Suck! Hey there, listeners! Today we’re diving into the top New Year's resolutions everyone’s talking about—spoiler alert: they’re the usual suspects like exercising more and being happier. But let’s be real, who actually sticks to those?! So, we’re flipping the script and serving up the top six resolutions that are not only easy-peasy but also a hoot! From reconnecting with those old friends with benefits (yeah, you know the ones) to sunbathing in the nude (because why not?), we’re making sure your New Year starts off with a laugh! So grab your coffee and let’s kick off this year with some giggles and totally achievable goals! New Year's is just around the corner, and you know what that means—time for resolutions! So, grab your coffee and let’s dive into the top New Year’s resolutions that everyone seems to make but hardly keep. Haystack's got the scoop on the most common culprits, like exercising more (duh), being happier (easy peasy), and eating healthier (but like, pizza is a vegetable, right?). It's wild to think that half the folks are all about that workout life, but when push comes to shove, we all know those gym memberships turn into fancy paperweights after a month. And let’s not forget about the classic 'spend more time with family' resolution! I mean, how many of us are still keeping that one alive after the holiday hangover? After a deep dive into the top six resolutions that are totally doable, we can’t help but crack a few jokes. You’ll laugh at Haystack’s hilarious takes on reconnecting with old friends who might just be “friends with benefits” (hey, no judgment here), and what’s up with that resolution to quit your job to live the van life? Spoiler alert: it might not be as glamorous as it sounds. So, if you’re feeling ambitious and ready to tackle the new year like a boss, tune in and get ready to laugh your way into 2024 with the best of Haystack's wit. Don't forget to keep those resolutions vague; they're more likely to stick that way!
Transcripts
Speaker A:
Good morning.
Speaker B:
It's Haystack and New Year's, of course.
Speaker B:
Just around the corner there's a new poll looking at the top New Year's resolutions.
Speaker B:
And the common culprits are kind of there, I guess.
Speaker B:
Go vague and broad with your resolution because that helps your success.
Speaker B:
That's what I believe.
Speaker B:
So this poll listed 25 common resolutions and asked people to pick which ones they make a priority.
Speaker B:
And here are the top 10, starting at number one, of course, exercise more.
Speaker B:
Half of people make that resolution.
Speaker B:
Number two, just be happier.
Speaker B:
And half of people said that I actually love that resolution because happy is a choice and a lot more of us need to choose it.
Speaker B:
Number three, definitely guilty here.
Speaker B:
Eat healthier.
Speaker B:
Number four, save money.
Speaker B:
Number five, improve your physical health overall.
Speaker B:
Number six, lose weight.
Speaker B:
Number seven, improve your mental health.
Speaker B:
Number eight, learn new things.
Speaker B:
Number nine, spend time with family.
Speaker B:
I think we should wait until after the holidays to check in and see if that's still in the top 10.
Speaker B:
And number 10, read more books.
Speaker B:
About a third of us plan to make a resolution and nearly 90% of us think that we will follow through with it.
Speaker B:
Although if the past surveys are any indication, we are delusional because most of us do not follow through with it.
Speaker B:
And that's why I think we should aim a little lower and pick something from today's list of the top six New Year's resolutions that anyone can maintain.
Speaker A:
Best way to start your day.
Speaker A:
These six jokes he's about to say, listen up for old Haystack to crack open the morning.
Speaker A:
Six, pack the top six New Year's resolutions anyone can maintain.
Speaker B:
Number six, reconnect with old friends with benefits.
Speaker B:
You know, friends who are single and needy.
Speaker B:
Number Number five, eat healthier portions of ice cream.
Speaker A:
Number four, reduce workplace stress by quitting.
Speaker B:
Your job to live the hashtag van life.
Speaker A:
Number three, exercise your right to sunbathe in the nude.
Speaker B:
After all, it is your front yard.
Speaker B:
Why not?
Speaker A:
Number two, cut down on alcohol that.
Speaker B:
You use on cuts and scratches to leave you more to drink.
Speaker A:
And the see the pattern here?
Speaker A:
The number one New Year's resolution that you should try because anyone can do this, right?
