Okay, we're going to jump right in here to feminine energy. And one of the questions that I get as I'm being interviewed on other people's shows and doing speaking, it's, it's a question around the nature of feminine energy. And so peoples do have misconceptions about it. So I definitely wanna clear that up right now, and I want you to know what it's not first. So first, it's not anything that resembles being a doormat, right? It's nothing about keeping you small or limited. It's definitely not the 1950s. What it is, is it's energy that's going to help you expand your relationships and create the types of relationships that you really want and crave. Also, having feminine energy will allow you to have your voice finally right, and your freedom to be authentically you. And when I'm talking about having your voice, I wanna be really clear about that. I'm not talking about like suddenly shouting from the rooftops. Every little resentment you've ever had, that would not be feminine energy, but it does mean being able to speak clearly from a connected place inside of you, an aligned place in your heart, in your soul, and speaking your truth. And having feminine energy is also gonna mean you're gonna be creating more space in your life for enjoyment.

When I see women who aren't working with their own feminine energy, they be either become overly masculinized or they become a little shut down, a little numb down or they're hiding out in some way and they're not living fully and they're not enjoying their life as much as they could. There are some similar issues between with that are shared with all these ladies. So they're not fully connecting with people, right? They feel like they could be getting pushed around, or maybe they've just been frustrated a lot with others, and so they're like seeking refuge, or they don't want to have their feelings impact other people. This is pretty, pretty big one actually. So they will keep to themselves and rather than connect with the people who care about them because feel bad about feeling the way that they feel, and other ladies may just not feel quite so powerful.

Like they don't feel heard in the right ways in their, whether it's in their relationships or in their work or in the world. They're just not feeling powerful or heard. So today, I'm gonna give you a sense of the main areas that I see that come together to form feminine energy in a powerful way so that you are heard and seen and gotten. The first area is connection, and I really mean creating connection. So it's an active verb. It's a Jaron. So a feminine trait is the ability to create connection with others. It's causing connection, and it's also creating connection to the universe, right? Like real appreciation of everything that is here nurturing us, the earth, the planets, the cosmos, and doing it in a healthy way without enmeshment or entanglements. And I think that's where a lot of us went astray.

I certainly had, I I was pretty entangled actually with someone who was not even living anymore because of my desire to feel that connection. So it's definitely, connection is not something that's codependent, right, or smothering. So if we're doing those things, we're not connecting. If we're taking over like in a conversation or changing, we've got an agenda like to, and it could be unconscious to change the dynamics or manipulate things in some way, that none of that is feminine energy. So feminine energy is definitely respectful. We need to know and respect ourselves and others in order to create real connection. And I think something that can get in the way of that is, let's say having a good girl identity, you know, always needing to be good. The one that that does it, right? The one that you can always count on or being the people pleaser, you know?

So the minute somebody else has a need jumping into to take care of their need while overriding your own, these things can prevent you from creating connection and intimacy also. So most women I know wanna create deep connections with people that they care about, right? There's something about relationships. You just want something juicy. You might call it intimacy, right? We, we tend to think of love relationship when we were talking about intimacy, but it's really not limited to that. We can have an intimate conversation with someone who we're not lovers with. And it's that depth of conversation. It's that depth of knowing one another and caring for one another that makes it intimate. And also there's usually some vulnerability in there. And so maybe you have one or two people in your life that you're doing that with, and maybe not, or you're somebody who would love to have that depth of connection with many people. And I want you to know that it is possible you can create intimate relationships that are healthy and strong and vibrant, and that have meaning where you feel seen and connected.

Being a good girl or a people pleaser is going to put you under the framework of perfectionism. 'cause the only way you can be those things is to be constantly monitoring how perfectly you're doing things. And perfectionism is like I think of it like a defcon one wall to connection. It is just a wall. It will not allow connection to penetrate it. Needing to be perfect is all a big protection energy. And so what you need with connection is a willingness to be seen with your flaws, right? A willingness to be seen in your messiness and your mistakes. And maybe that's gonna start with you, like allowing yourself to have mistakes and make messes of things and not get everything right the first time you go to do it.

When you're not in that willingness, you create a clear disconnect with others. They may not know it consciously, but they will sense it on the subtle, energetic level. And the reason that you could be protecting could be something like the fear of getting rejected or being criticized or feeling judged. Also, sometimes you just don't want, like other people to worry about you like you're trying to care, take somebody else's feelings about you. And, all that creates disconnection. Now, one of the things we do well when we connect is we can connect because we love to talk, but we can also overdo it. We can overdo the talking. So we wanna bring in the balance of listening, the not just be a fly on the wall, we wanna be participatory, and we also wanna learn to be empathetic without overdoing that as well.

It's been recognized that overdoing empathy is an actual problem where you start to feel drained and you lose your own energy. So I want you to maintain your energy and have connection. Another way of creating connection is certainly like some of the things that we were really familiar with, like the giving of meals, right? Creating a dinner. And I was remembering an episode of the Bear recently. I don't know if you've seen it, but there's an episode, a Christmas episode where the mother is making this really intense menu for the dinner for the extended family and the whole family. And she's just really driven and everybody's like moving around her and making sure she's taken care of and stuff like that. And she's, you know, part of what she's doing, she's trying to keep everything together like it was, she's trying to keep things connected and by creating this perfect dinner, and of course it just winds up being an enormous mess.

And so she doesn't create connection. She's hiding behind her avoidance, and she's not really being open. She's not wanting people to really see what she's going through, okay? And I'm not gonna spoil it for you in case you haven't seen it, but it's super fun, very drama filled and pattern filled . So it's a great psychological fun. The second area of feminine energy I think is important is collaboration. This is like having the sense that the relationship is gonna be collaborative. It's not just about intimacy. It's about being in partnership with people, right? Like a give and a take and really working together and valuing one another. And so it has a lot of we mentality versus the I mentality or me mentality. And so you might think of this like kind of like being a team player, so to speak, but I think it's more like interdependence, right?

You depend and the other person depends, but you're not codependent, you're not fixing, but there's an interplay there. So you're both equally dependent and you're choosing to be interdependent. It's inclusive, and there's a desire to create something together, right? And maybe that's just a deeper relationship. Collaboration does require elements of trust. And you wanna begin with starting to trust yourself and then others by allowing them to step up rather than taking over for them or fixing their stuff, right? And this is not just workplace collaboration, this is within your relationships. So we see collaboration out of balance in relationships where the woman never really allows herself to receive fully, or when she does, she's very controlled about it, right? There's a lot of rules and things have to be super precise or exact. And that's not collaborative, like, that's not flowing with the other person's energy.

And it's also not creating connection either. It might feel like connection to the person who's creating those rules in the moment because you think you're getting what you want, but it's not, it's actually a disconnect for the other person, for sure. One of the top things I hear most from women who are struggling with relationships is kind of this push pull over receiving versus independence. All these women, they've had to work really, really hard to get wherever it is they are in their life, and they could be afraid of someone else taking over, right? Like, whether that's a friend, a sibling, a family member, another family member, a boyfriend, a guy you just barely met, like they're putting on this, I am independent hat, I can do it. I don't need anyone, you know, I can hire this person, I can do that, or I can jerry rig this.

Like, it could be as simple as somebody holding the groceries for you, and it could show up in all kinds of ways. You might even know some girlfriends who are like that, right? You try to give them something and then they're like, I gotta give you something back. The tit for tat thing, this all creates disconnect. And instead of creating connection, what comes across as an energy of defensiveness, because it's almost like you're trying to prove that you can do stuff and you're like on the alert, like, I can do it. I'm independent. And so it could be hard for another person to be with you in that if you're out to prove something. They will probably energetically, in most cases, they're just gonna like back off a little bit. 'cause they're like, okay, she's gotta do her thing. And so it's disconnecting for them though.

They don't feel like they're with you and they're not collaborating with you on that. They're just like moving out of the way. So you've got women who are trying to prove things and prove they can do stuff, do stuff on their own. And, you know, they've got stories around all of that. And there's another out of balancer that I'm gonna call being out of right responsibility. This is a little bit deeper on like a soul level, but right responsibility is knowing what your responsibilities are and what others are. And this can be an area where women take on the burdens of others because for many reasons, like they wanna prove something or they wanna martyr themselves, or they might wanna just help somebody, like it's too much caretaking. But what they're really doing is taking on the burden of the other person rather than letting the person be responsible for themselves.

And we're all here to learn and to grow, and everyone has a soul that is here to learn and to grow. And so it is important that we let other people step into their responsibilities. And I think one of the main reasons that women do this is because they can feel scared or they feel outta control, right? So that like, maybe they're worried about the other person, oh, if they don't do it, i, I gotta do it, you know, so they're okay or they're safe, or especially if we're talking about like mothers and kids, you know? And of course there is a point where you are responsible for your child, but at a certain point they become an adult. And so you want to make sure that you've been really clear there with responsibility lines of energy. And also, I want you to know that even when they're young, you are never responsible for their soul. You're responsible for their safety and their wellbeing, and that they are sheltered and they have food and they're loved, but you're not responsible for the wellbeing of their soul. They are.

So to be in feminine energy, we want to be responsible for ourselves and allow others to be responsible for themselves while we are in partnership, while we are collaborating with them. The third area of feminine energy is communication. Without that, we're definitely not gonna be seen or heard. Whiting communicatioon there are some things I wanna point out to you, and one would be the ability to communicate appreciation in a way that can be heard received by others. And how, how to do that, right? And how to care for someone without like patronizing them or invading their space, minimizing them or taking over in some energetic way. Sometimes even a well-intentioned remark, you know, can feel just like too much or if it's communicated without feminine energy can feel controlling, contrived, manipulating, et cetera. So you want to be condition free in your communications. When you communicate, you're sharing energy, heart energy, and in the way that you speak. And also you're aligned in yourself with your soul and your heart and your intention. You know, what is it you're saying? And why are you saying it? And when you have that, then you can communicate it and be in alignment and not just blurt things out because you think you know the right words to say.

So I mentioned the word clarity. So the clarity that you're gonna want to have is the clarity of knowing what you need, what you want, and being able to speak those things from an open, vulnerable place in a way that's powerful. So there's a lot of different things that go into feminine communication, but once you get the knack of it, it's so enjoyable and enriching and connecting that you'll be like, oh my gosh, why didn't I do this before?

I think with feminine energy, when you're communicating with feminine energy, you're never gonna feel like a bitch, and you're never gonna feel like the bad guy. Those things just have no place in feminine energy because you're judgment free, first of all, of yourself and of the other. You're collaborating to create a result to create an outcome. And then there's some other things that you're gonna bring to that. What's great about this is that the other person who's receiving the communication is more than likely going to be able to actually receive it. And if they're not, then they've got some work to do, but they also main will most nine times outta 10, they're not gonna see you as the bad guy for having delivered the message kind of thing, right? So it's very different than, say, talking about a problem with hard criticisms or catabolic energy, or just even saying, no, it's just a no, you know, , oh, I don't want that. No thanks. Like, that can be catabolic like the other. Okay, that was a little sharp. And that kind of energy closes things down in relationship.

The fourth area of feminine energy that I'm talking about today is compassion. Compassion is not sympathy. It is an energy that comes from the heart, and it also means that you can care, have heart energy without taking on the problem or jumping in the hole, so to speak, along with that person in their hole. So the archetype that I like to think of when I think of compassion is the queen. She's on her throne, she's confident, she's kind, she's generous, she's making sure all her people are doing well, she's confident, she's in charge. She's looking over her queendom and she feels blessed and she blesses others. So, I mean, obviously we're not all sitting around in thrones, but there's something about that energy of compassion that is very queen like and feels generous to other people. And that's really what I'm interested in. And I think it changes the quality of relationships and the results that women are getting.

It's not live energy, right? So compassion is not just like some idea you have, like, I'm just gonna feel compassion. You know, it's something that you're actively like sending and it does have power to it. So it's not about being humble or putting yourself down or anything like that and you're certainly not elevating anybody else over yourself. You're making a choice to connect love of humanity, your love of humanity, and to send compassion to yourself first and then to others. And you have this compassionate viewpoint, a perspective of people for what they're going through, which allows you to be easier and have a lot less stress in life because you're working from a perspective of like an acceptance and a care. And you can do all of that without taking anything on. That isn't yours.

The fifth area of feminine energy is command. And what I mean by this is, it's like being in command of your emotional world. So maybe developing emotional intelligence or raising your emotional intelligence. I mean, you have some, you're listening to this podcast, but you wanna take it to another level and have also confidence with it, because this is something that goes for almost every woman that I've ever met who hasn't found her voice, or isn't having her voice or isn't feeling heard, the confidence is lacking. So to have that, you do need to know what it is that you want. You've gotta know that. So you've got to know yourself, and you've gotta ask yourself what it is you want and what you need. When I'm talking about command, it's a command, not a dictatorship, but a command, a management style of the self, the emotional body, the spiritual body, and even the physical body.

There's a relationship there, it's a collaboration, but you're in command and you can manage whatever it is that is coming up in those arenas. And you can also command the mind to not run 5,000 words every two seconds. So there's a huge piece around learning to feel and to honor all your feelings without having them take you over. And these are going to need to include all the feelings, like even anger and grief, and knowing how to express those to yourself and to others in ways that can be received, can be heard, and ways that are appropriate for the person you're sharing them with. So this feelings management stuff, it's a big piece of being in feminine energy. And so the development of compassion and understanding will be really, really helpful there.

Ultimately, command is where everything comes together. And this is exciting because this is where you're able to express yourself authentically rather than from a place of patterns or reactions. And people, you know, when you're expressing yourself authentically, people lean in, they're like, oh, that's interesting. You know, it feels good and they wanna know more about you. There's something inviting about it. The other thing that happens is that people that you're in relationship with your close relationships are far more likely to be responsive to your needs. When you're in command of your energy and your choices and your confidence is shining through, it's like your shiny soul's light is shining through and it's a very powerful thing and it's a very beautiful thing. And it gives you the ability to be able to express yourself from a place of freedom and joy. And you also have a whole lot of other energy available to you to create what it is that you want in your life or what you want next. And to keep asking even better questions of yourself, like, well, what is it that I want now? What is it that want to experience next? Or What do I wanna create next? Who do I want to be next?

Well, I hope you've enjoyed Feminine Energy Mastery highlights today of connection, collaboration, communication, compassion and command. And I'd love to know your thoughts on any of these and find out where you might like to improve things for yourself, or, you know, maybe just where you're feeling stuck. So feel free to drop me a line. You can go to my website. There's a contact page where you can reach out to me. May you have a luscious remainder of your day. And I look forward to talking with you again soon. Bye-Bye for now.