Lourdes Pinto
God loves us and His mission so much that He desires to make our faith PERFECT. For our mission to be ESTABLISHED firm, each of us MUST BELIEVE what the Lord has said to us.
Our FAITH must be witnessed in the way we live the storms, piercings, and thorns in our flesh. If any of us continue to believe with our minds, but not in the way we act in our daily lives, then our mission and community will not be firm.
Correlation between Faith and Repentance:
1. Faith: Isaiah 7:1-9
2. Repentance: Mathew 11:20-24
Isaiah (7:2): “Aram has allied itself with[a] Ephraim”; so the hearts of Ahaz and his people were shaken, as the trees of the forest are shaken by the wind.”
God permits this storm to enter into the lives of His nation, Israel, SO THAT their faith can be strengthened. By the way, they acted, the condition of their hearts is revealed, so God tells Isaiah to tell His people four things to do: “Take heed, be quiet, do not fear, and do not let your heart be faint.”(Is 7:4) At the end of this Scripture passage, God speaks powerful words to us: “If you will not believe, surely you shall not be established.” (7:9) (Another Scripture translation reads: “Unless your faith is firm, you shall not be firm.”)
During our trials, we are tempted to contradict Jesus. Our deepest thoughts come to light. The trial reveals the condition of our hearts to ourselves. How we respond will be our rise or fall. Simeon told Mary (Lk 2:34-35) that Jesus “is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted (and you yourself a sword will pierce) so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Mary stood faithful as her heart was pierced at the Cross. We need, like St. John, to be with her in our trials.
Fr Ron asked us an important question: “Am I living my identity as a MOC and MC as God’s hidden victim of love?” He told us that the answer to that question is found in the way we ACT or react to the many daily challenges and trials God permits or wills in our lives.
Recently I suffered a piercing that wounded my heart. The Lord blessed me with that suffering so that I could honestly, without self–deception, be able to answer that question: “Im I living as a victim of love?” I was confronted with my pure pain, but I was also confronted with feelings of anger, resentment and discouragement. As Fr Ron said, these feelings are not from God, so I started to dig deep for days before the Blessed Sacrament asking the Lord where those feelings where coming from. Why, beyond the sorrow, was I angry? I was finally face to face with the condition of my heart. I was able to SEE the truth about myself that God, in His infinite mercy, wanted me to see SO THAT I could Repentand BELIEVE. I was confronted with my lack of believing what He has said to me for years:
You must believe in the power of your hidden ordinary lives united as ONE to My sacrifice of love as God's hidden force that will renew the face of the earth.
I found the truth, naked before God: the reason I was frustrated and angry is that I still lack faith in all that the Lord has spoken to me for so many years about victim souls. I still did not believe enough in the power of my suffering with Christ. I believe with my intellect but I do not yet live it perfectly because I have not believed fully with a pure heart. I still lack trust and abandonment to God’s Will.
The piercing I suffered affected me in a good way. It brought to self–knowledge and to profound repentance. Repentance brought me to greater faith. I cannot describe to you the freedom I then felt after the piercing, after receiving the gift of self–knowledge, after getting down on my knees, after I cried and asked God for forgiveness and asked the Lord for true faith. I felt that my faith was strengthened, I felt totally renewed, refreshed, free, happy, as when I came out of the healing waters of Lourdes.
The promises the Lord has made to us are contingent on our faith, on believing what He has told us. “Believe, My daughter, believe!”
I remembered Jesus’ words to His disciples when they were unable to cast out a demon, Mathew 17:20:
God loves me and His mission so much that He desires to make my faith and yours PERFECT.
For our mission to be ESTABLISHED, firm, it is going to depend on our CAPACITY TO BELIEVE what the Lord has said to us. The strength of our community is the strength of the faith of each member. Each of us has a great responsibility before God. The mission does not depend only on my faith as the head of the community, though that is a great responsibility.
Our FAITH must be witnessed in the way we live the storms, piercings, and thorns in our flesh. If any of us continue to believe with our minds, but not in the way we act in our daily lives, then our mission and community will not be firm. Every MOC and MC has a GREAT RESPONSIBILITY because Jesus has done “mighty works” with us (Mt 11:20,23). Jesus reproaches the cities of Chorazin, Bethsaida, and Capernaum because He blessed them with so much and they did not REPENT.
Believe, so that My Light can shine through you to penetrate the darkness consuming the world. (Path #151, p. 439.)
The Lord is telling us that if we believe with all our hearts, mind, soul, and strengths, that each suffering that God permits, united to Him, is going to penetrate the darkness consuming the world, but only if we believe.
Here we must see the connection between FAITH and REPENTANCE. To grow in faith and reach the spiritual level of living in complete trust and abandonment to God’s Will, we MUST be willing to go through the process:
SUFFERING>KNOWLEDGE>REPENTANCE>FAITH
Faith Perfected, (Diary of a MOC #115)
This means that any time the Lord permits a trial in our life, our faith will depend on our ability to abandon ourselves to God’s will and on being firm in the knowledge of God’s immense love for us.
In every trial, we have the opportunity to shed another layer of attachment to disordered tendencies. Each layer shed brings us to greater purity of heart to love more perfectly. Perceiving our sufferings as gifts of the Lord shows growth in humility and faith. With this comes love, peace, and the power of God to move mountains.
It is not enough to believe intellectually. Our growth in faith is connected to the condition of our hearts. This is why, through trials, the Lord takes us to see the truth of our hearts. This is difficult specially for men.
Romans 10:10 “For one believes with the heart and so is justified.”
The Lord teaches us in The Path that “Faith is perfected in suffering and trials.” (#115, p.310) Why? “Because in order to believe our hearts must be pure.” (#116, 311)
To grow in faith, we need humility and simplicity. Otherwise, when we enter the trials, we will not receive the grace of knowledge, we remain obstinate and the grace of God will not penetrate the heart.
What it Means to Believe, Diary of a MOC #116.
16. My Gaze Penetrates All Darkness, Diary of a MOC, p.59
The Path is the SCHOOL OF THE HEART!
The Lord not only heals our wounds, He also purifies all darkness, through self–knowledge, and repentance.
The condition of our hearts is revealed through suffering.
God’s loving will permitted my heart to be pierced SO THAT I could discover a deeper darkness that remained in my heart. By allowing the sword to penetrate my heart, by opening my heart in prayer to ask God to reveal what is in my heart, I allow Him to give me a full knowledge of what He wants me to see.
God gives the GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE, and through knowledge, the GIFT OF THE GOLD OF PRECIOUS REPENTANCE.
The condition of our hearts is revealed through two types of suffering:
1. The Storm– Mt 8:18-34.
2. A thorn in our flesh – 2 Corinthians 12:7-8 “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment (harass) me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.”
The storms:
The storms are the myriad of daily struggles and challenges in our lives. Yet a storm only lasts for a certain amount of time, it passes by, and then the “calm” is restored. Many times the Lord is “asleep” during our storms, as He was with the disciples, but this too, is part of God’s loving Will for each of us so that the condition of our hearts can be revealed to us—our lack of faith: “Why are you afraid? O men of little faith.” (Mt8:26)
A storm can be a struggle, fight, argument between a couple, friends, family, coworkers…an illness, unemployment… It usually lasts a short amount of time and passes.
During the storm, our hearts can feel wounded as if pierced, and at that moment, when we are feeling wounded, hurt, vulnerable, scared, confused, angry, frustrated, discouraged, or resentful, when we’ve been “shaken” like the Israelites, the blessing of the grace of that particular storm—the grace of the KNOWLEDGE of the condition of our hearts is available to us. We are confronted with the question: are we living as a victim of love?
A thorn in our flesh:
A “thorn in our flesh” is also a suffering that God wills or permits, but unlike the storm which passes, it remains with us. St Paul asked three times for his thorn to be taken away, but God willed for him to live with it. A thorn can be a spouse, a child, as in the case of St Monica with St. Augustine, an illness, such as Lyme disease, migraines, a handicap, such as ADD, dyslexia, a mental illness….
A thorn in our flesh can also be a temptation that does not go away, such as an addiction: to pornography, masturbation, and other impurities, to alcohol, drugs, or any addiction. Notice that St Paul says that his thorn is from Satan and torments him. Many souls that suffer these temptations feel horrible torments, but when a soul receives the grace, like St Paul, to know that God is permitting that temptation for a greater good and sees that temptation as a thorn in his flesh as God’s Will, the soul is strengthened in faith.
It is important to note here that these temptations have a root system that comes from deep wounds and lies, therefore, the interior work of going deep to allow the Light of Christ to heal and restore our hearts is CRUCIAL. The temptation can only be understood as a thorn in the flesh after a soul has done the work of interior healing and transformation. Then we trust that the grace of God will be with us to resist the temptation and share in the work of Christ by suffering with Him.
When we know a suffering is God’s Will, even a temptation, and we abandon ourselves to His Will because we believe that we have a mission to help save souls with Christ, then we enter the power of God through faith!
What is the thorn in my flesh? How do I live with this thorn? Do I see it as God’s Will for my life or do I spend my energy trying to change, control, or reject this thorn?
What God has called us in L.C. to BELIEVE:
Path #25, p.78
Martyrdom of the Heart, Diary of a MOC p.139
#56, p. 169
Flame of Love, Diary of a MOC p.209
#119. Joy Through Sorrows, Diary of a MOC p.320
P.356
#143, p.386