Hi everyone, and welcome to Sober Alcohol Free Stories. I'm Victoria, and I don't drink. Today I'm talking to Philippa. Philippa's. Drinking was a way to mask anxiety developed through trauma at an early age. In her relationships, drinking was a central fixture until a fall down the stairs filled her with shame and planted the seed and dawning realization that continuing to drink was really no longer an option for her.

. Hi everyone, and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

2

I'm Victoria, and I don't drink today.

3

I'm talking to Philippa.

4

Philippa's.

5

Drinking was a way to mask anxiety

developed through trauma at an early age.

6

In her relationships, drinking

was a central fixture.

7

Until a fall down the stairs filled

her with shame and it planted the seed

8

and the realization that continuing to

drink was really not an option for her.

9

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Hi, Philippa.

10

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: Hi.

11

. vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: It

is lovely to have you on tonight.

12

Thank you for persevering with the,

technology and trying to get on.

13

As always gonna spend a little

bit of time getting to know you

14

and understanding your journey.

15

So the thoughts and feelings that

were going on before you decided to

16

stop drinking, and the situations

that led you to make that decision.

17

So I'll just ask you to tell that story

and then we'll see where we go from

18

there and where our conversation leads to

19

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Okay, that's fine.

20

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: So tell

us a bit about yourself and your story,

21

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

okay, well I am 52 years of age now.

22

I'm a mom of three.

23

I work in mental health care.

24

I began drinking at quite an early age.

25

I'd say about 14

26

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

27

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

usual.

28

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Same as me.

29

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

The usual teenage stuff,

30

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

31

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

at the park or, sneaking

32

around the garages or whatever.

33

I liked it.

34

I enjoyed it and

35

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

36

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Actually when I was like 15 or whatever,

37

it was quite easy to get into pubs in

those days and be served under age.

38

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

39

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so my tolerance was, you know,

40

quite high for that age as well.

41

Um, and it, it never stopped.

42

, Apart from obviously when I had

the children, And I'd always

43

been quite an anxious person.

44

and it masked it.

45

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

46

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

to me it was, you know, I needed it

47

to, so I didn't have the anxiety.

48

and it made me feel confident and

I thought it made me funnier and

49

I was better to be around and.

50

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

51

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it did wonderful things

52

for me, and it didn't.

53

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

No, it is funny, isn't it?

54

I so many people's story starts that way.

55

That kind of awkward teenage feeling

and the anxiety and obviously trying

56

to understand yourself and wanting to

fit in and wanting people to like you.

57

And a lot of people have had that

kind of beginning and then they've

58

drunk alcohol and all of a sudden and

they've got all those they thought

59

they didn't have, like the confidence

and like you've just said, I.

60

And then you just don't realize, do you

just how, how it can, how it can end up.

61

Anyway.

62

Tell me more.

63

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I suppose like growing up, I didn't

64

have, a terrible childhood or anything.

65

I didn't have the greatest either.

66

My mum and dad split up when I was

quite young, when I was six, and I,

67

it was quite volatile relationship.

68

They had.

69

I was very clingy with my mum, my mum

and dad, both used to like a drink.

70

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm.

71

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I grew up drinking around me.

72

It was very normal to me.

73

And , I never questioned

that, , it wasn't right.

74

I had to go to boarding school at the

age of six 'cause my mum was diagnosed

75

with cancer, which was probably one

of the first times, , the big stress

76

for me with my anxiety starting

was been separated from my mum.

77

Because you don't understand

at that age, do you at six and

78

then put him to board in school.

79

and it was around all that

time they split up as well.

80

And I saw some things, you know, that I

probably shouldn't have seen at that age.

81

and it may, it just made me so

anxious and I think that's why I

82

always found alcohol such a crutch.

83

It was just normal to me.

84

, It'd always been normal to me as a child,

and like mum would have lots of dinner

85

parties and they'd, they'd all be drunk.

86

And I, I'd never questioned it, , I never

thought, 'cause I, I didn't see other

87

people's families or go or ever think,

well, their family don't do or anything.

88

It, it was just normal.

89

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

90

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

That just carried on.

91

And when I left home, I

had my first son at 21.

92

it slowed down a bit.

93

Then I still like to have a drink.

94

I drink with my mom, probably

on the Friday night and we,

95

have a nice evening or whatever.

96

And I didn't work out with my son's dad.

97

not long after I met my husband

and he liked to drink as well, so.

98

It was basically a

relationship made in heaven.

99

we had some great times,

100

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

101

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

when we moved in together quite quickly,

102

and it was like for the first 18 months

when we were, trying to get to know

103

each other, we used to row a lot.

104

Free drink these rails.

105

And I think it made us realize,

we were gonna end our relationship

106

if we, didn't try and control it.

107

So we went through years

thinking we had it under control.

108

I moved up north when I was around.

109

26, and pregnant with my daughter.

110

not long afterwards, my mum died,

which was a very big blow to me.

111

I think I masked it with alcohol.

112

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

113

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so we would drink.

114

In the evening, we, you know, we

would just, he would finish work, come

115

home every evening at seven o'clock.

116

We'd have a drink start at seven o'clock.

117

I would, have each night

two bottles of wine.

118

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

119

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

went on for many years.

120

Um, and like through life, you know,

when things were stressful, um.

121

I would sometimes then

drink during the day,

122

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

123

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

or if I was doing housework

124

'cause it's so boring and

125

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

126

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it a lot more interesting 'cause

127

I wasn't working at that time.

128

I found being a housewife, very boring.

129

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

I did as well.

130

To be fair.

131

I found it really quite dull.

132

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

It, it was, it was really boring.

133

And my husband would say like, you know,

we should have some alcohol free evenings.

134

'cause you know, we, we both

knew we'd drunk too much.

135

We just really enjoyed it.

136

So what I'd do is if he was

working on a late shift, I'd

137

drink during the day as well.

138

Then, and have the equivalent.

139

Of what I'd normally have in the

evening, which a few times backfired.

140

'cause he'd come home with a drink.

141

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh, no.

142

have to double drink.

143

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah, yeah.

144

I, yeah, there, there, yeah.

145

Yeah.

146

It was, it was,

147

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh

148

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

was a job in itself.

149

But, yeah, it was, but what I was doing,

if I was drinking during the day, I'd.

150

I'd like possibly go out to the shop

and I'd buy a bottle of vodka and I'd

151

think, right, I'd only have a couple

152

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

153

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: last

me through the week and I'd just have a

154

couple, you know, like when I'm at home.

155

But it was never like that.

156

and, you know, sometimes I, I

could have had nearly, well,

157

basically the bottle, and I'd take

myself off to bed then because.

158

I knew he knew, he would know.

159

I just knew it.

160

And sometimes like he, he might ring

and I might have only had two, but

161

he could always tell from my voice

162

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

can, can't

163

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: he,

164

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: can tell.

165

can tell now though, can't you?

166

If you speak to somebody on the phone

and they've had a glass of wine, I can

167

tell straight away it could just be one.

168

But I know we thought we were

clever though, didn't we?

169

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

You think you're so clever and you think,

170

yeah, people are so stupid and you,

171

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

172

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

normal, you don't think you're drunk.

173

Do.

174

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: No.

175

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

So, it was causing some issues.

176

he was not happy, he's

coming home to that.

177

And he did say actually, but when he used

to drive home, the living room, light

178

was out and he knew I'd gone to bed.

179

He was so relieved,

180

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Right.

181

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

relieved.

182

And he's told me since, you

know, it was getting to the

183

stage where he had had enough,

184

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Were you

argumentative then when you were drinking?

185

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I could

186

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

187

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

if I, so 11% wine was my, like, drink.

188

So if I went over the 11.5%,

189

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

190

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I was argumentative.

191

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

192

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

he was really against me drinking 11.5.

193

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

194

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

So I had initially given up a couple of

195

times, because I knew it was a problem.

196

That's the thing.

197

I knew it was a problem.

198

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

199

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so in my thirties I did, a

200

hope detox through the doctor.

201

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh.

202

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and it was quite successful.

203

and I think that time

I managed six months.

204

And then there's been a couple

of other times where I've

205

managed up to three months.

206

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

207

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

but the thing is I've always thought

208

I could go back to moderation.

209

and I think unless you've got superpowers,

moderation just does not work.

210

'cause I guarantee if we, we said, right,

well, you know, you've done three months,

211

let's just have a drink twice a week.

212

And I guarantee within a week we

were back to, we were back to normal,

213

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

214

Well, the thing is, if you could

moderate, you would've moderated

215

in the first place, wouldn't you?

216

You'd have thought, oh, I think

I'm drinking a bit too much.

217

I'm gonna knock that on

the head and drink less.

218

but you didn't and I didn't.

219

think like it's, it's kind of a bit.

220

Silly for us to think that we're gonna

be able to moderate, but I see it a lot.

221

You see it a lot in Facebook groups.

222

People asking, don't you?

223

Well, you know, I just wanna have one or

two, or , just at the weekend or stuff.

224

And I see those and I think, I

don't wanna break their heart.

225

But I really wanna say to them, moderation

is just, it's just a putting off the

226

inevitable game because you'll end up

back where you were You'll end up having

227

to stop in the end anyway, so you've

got all the pain to go through again and

228

all of that turmoil of can I, can't I?

229

How many, what time?

230

All that nonsense.

231

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

things so much more complicated and

232

it's on the mind even more, and I dunno

233

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

234

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

you, but I've, I'd rather go without

235

them, have one glass or two glasses

of wine in the first place because I.

236

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

I never drank for like just having a

237

lovely tasting drink with my dinner.

238

I mean, you can do that with a Coca-Cola.

239

I did it because I wanted

to get a bit tipsy.

240

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah,

241

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

That's why I did it.

242

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

exactly.

243

So, yeah.

244

You know, the moderator, you

know, it didn't work anyway.

245

I suppose.

246

I had a rock bottom.

247

back in, 22, it would've been,

we'd gone down south, to see my

248

husband's grandmother, and we

were gonna spend the night there.

249

she was being cared at for,

at home by my mother-in-law.

250

I'd had more, 'cause it was a social,

family together, a social thing.

251

So I had more my normal quota.

252

I think I'd had three bottles that night.

253

we'd gone up to bed, and I'd

forgotten to take juice up with me.

254

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

255

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: and

I went to go and get some juice and I fell

256

from the top of the stairs to the bottom.

257

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Oh my

258

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: Um,

259

and.

260

I didn't break anything, but I was

very bruised and, in a lot of pain.

261

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

262

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: my

daughters were there and witnessed it.

263

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm.

264

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

was so ashamed.

265

And I, I, my husband was staying at his

brother's round the corner actually, and

266

I'd wanted my husband to come and when he

was there I was yelling at him and they

267

were like, should we get you an ambulance?

268

And I was like, I don't want an ambulance.

269

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

270

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

And anyway, I went to bed and I got

271

up the next day and felt like death.

272

I just knew I had to stop.

273

I didn't stop then.

274

It was quite a while

afterwards as it happens.

275

But that's the time I knew

276

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

277

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I need to stop drinking 'cause

278

I'm gonna end up killing myself.

279

so it was at the beginning of 23.

280

. I'd been, I've been in my job

and that, well, I'd been in

281

my job for a number of years.

282

I was transferring to a

different place in it.

283

and that was on January the, I

think it was the 22nd I'd started.

284

So when I have that drink that first

night for me to tell him about the new

285

job, my husband, about the new job.

286

And then I said, and the

next day I'm giving up.

287

and that's what I did.

288

I gave up that day,

289

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Amazing.

290

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

291

I didn't do it through the, and I'm

not advocating this for people to do.

292

I think it was in the past I had given

up, so I was knowing what to expect.

293

so I didn't do it through

the doctors or anything.

294

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

295

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

did do it on my own.

296

I was lucky.

297

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

298

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I would tell anyone to

299

please see your doctor.

300

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

301

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

if you are giving up drinking,

302

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

303

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and I just took it day by day.

304

I knew that I was never gonna go back to,

you know, even think about moderation.

305

I knew this was it.

306

And in, I think two months after

giving, I'd been taking antidepressants

307

for the past 20 years and, anxiety

tablets for the last 20 years.

308

Within two months of stopping

drinking, I was off all my medication.

309

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

It's crazy,

310

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it was just absolutely mad and I was

311

like, oh, right, I'm not depressed.

312

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

313

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

been,

314

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: was.

315

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I've been in such a vicious circle.

316

I mean, it's such a vicious circle.

317

And it was like coming out of this abyss

and thinking, well, this is really good.

318

Going to bed sober and waking up sober.

319

And

320

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

321

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: it

is just now completely changed my life.

322

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

323

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

really has.

324

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

So did you get any help at all?

325

Like, did you join any groups or did

you literally just do it by yourself?

326

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: I've

joined, I joined some groups, on Facebook.

327

'cause when I gave up some years

ago, quite a few years ago, I used

328

to, I joined a group called Hall.

329

Hello, Sunday morning.

330

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: okay.

331

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

which was in Australia and I, it

332

was brilliant, but they stopped,

traded for,, and I've never been

333

able to find a group like it since.

334

But I'd read William Porter's book,

alcohol Explained, and there's

335

a group of that on Facebook.

336

So I joined.

337

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

338

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

that's what I used and was

339

reading other people's stories.

340

I read anything that I

could get my hands on.

341

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

342

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

anything on TV just to get as much

343

knowledge as possible about alcohol,

and how it affected the body.

344

How it affected, you know,

everything in your day-to-day life.

345

And just got as done as much

research on it as possible.

346

And I'm still doing that to this day,

347

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah,

348

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

everything I can.

349

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah.

350

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I watched a documentary on

351

YouTube called, rain in my heart.

352

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Haven't seen that.

353

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I've watched about three or four times.

354

it's a very deep documentary, but it

355

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Right.

356

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

the life outta me

357

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Okay.

358

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I've felt I need to kick up the backside.

359

I put that on.

360

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: That's

361

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so I,

362

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Hmm.

363

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

yeah.

364

So I'd recommend anyone

365

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Okay.

366

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

watch that.

367

I mean, it's over 20 years old now.

368

but it, it's so personal.

369

To the people involved in the

making of it and their journey

370

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Mm-hmm.

371

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and it does give you a reality check,

372

so yeah, anything I could do to keep

myself researched about it, I do.

373

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

well it's having the knowledge isn't

374

it, of really what it does to you.

375

That book, William Porter's book,

William's been on the podcast

376

actually, and we talked a little

bit about his story, but that book

377

explained the anxiety stuff very well,

378

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah.

379

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

because I also had some anxiety.

380

Before I stopped drinking, which

disappeared when I stopped drinking.

381

No surprises now that I've, you know,

more about it and that I've read all that

382

stuff, that I realized that that's what

was causing it all in the first place.

383

But I just had no idea because I thought

that was what I was having relax me.

384

And that's what everybody says

and that's what everybody does.

385

We're like, go chill out,

have a glass of wine.

386

, That's what they would say.

387

I didn't drink to the extent

that you've said that you were

388

drinking, but I just feel like.

389

could very easily have got

there because it was increasing.

390

And um, and yeah, the anxiety was real.

391

I mean, gosh, I felt horrendous the

days after having a heavier night.

392

Just this, the hatred of myself and

the concerns about, what did I say?

393

Or if I'd rung someone or be

checking my phone if I texted

394

someone something stupid.

395

Just a horrible feeling, isn't it?

396

And it just gets exacerbated every time.

397

So, yeah, I know how that feels.

398

It's great to get rid of that, isn't it?

399

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Oh, absolutely.

400

I mean, I dunno how I did.

401

For so many years, I would work 14 hour

shifts, come home, still drop my normal

402

equivalent between 10 and say one,

403

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

404

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and have to be up at six, half

405

six, and then do the same again.

406

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

you must have been knackered,

407

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: I,

408

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

knackered.

409

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I, yeah, but I didn't think so at the.

410

Like, I'm in a bad mood.

411

I'm, I'm in.

412

Well, no, I, I was just, I, I just

went on and on and on for years

413

and like, if, if I'm not in bed by

like 10 o'clock now, I get upset.

414

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

415

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

you know.

416

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: me too.

417

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

I just like my bedroom now is my

418

sanctuary and I love to bed now

419

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

420

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

go to bed at say one o'clock and I'd

421

blink and it'd be time to get up.

422

I never used to feel like I've slept well.

423

I wasn't sitting,

424

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

hadn't really.

425

Yeah, exactly.

426

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

so, yeah.

427

How I did it for so many years.

428

I dunno.

429

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

430

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

But my husband also gave up

431

drinking as well, I have to say.

432

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Did you give up at the same

433

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Yeah, we,

434

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Oh, well done you

435

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Because he, 'cause I think

436

where I've given up in the past.

437

Then he had slowly introduced maybe

one once a week having a drink once

438

a week and then his creeping up and

I, I just turned around this last

439

time and I said, it's impossible

440

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah,

441

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

to be able to give up drinking if you

442

are drinking in the house as well.

443

I, I just can't do it.

444

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah.

445

Well that's, I mean, what a great

partnership that you did it together.

446

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Because there,

447

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: really

448

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806: was,

449

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

admirable.

450

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

we'd always been drinking buddies.

451

So you did have to worry then

with the relationship, how,

452

you know, how was it gonna be.

453

and you know, luckily for us,

we've just gone on strength.

454

Strength and, and you

know, he loves it as well.

455

You

456

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: yeah,

457

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

if only, you know, hindsight is such

458

a wonderful thing, but if only we'd

known then how wonderful life could

459

be if we tried it 20 odd years ago.

460

but we have now.

461

So that's the main thing

we are living right now.

462

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

tell me a bit about your life now.

463

What's different?

464

What do you do that's different?

465

The two of you?

466

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

Right.

467

Well we, I'm a bit more daring now.

468

I feel more inclined to do things.

469

so I've started going to concerts.

470

, I'm a massive fan of Taylor Swift.

471

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Oh, me too.

472

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

So I went to see her last year.

473

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Wow.

474

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

and then we went to see Pink

475

and we went to see James Blunts.

476

, We've been going on holidays.

477

Um, I was worried about the, well,

the first year we didn't go on

478

holiday because I associated holiday.

479

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

Drinking from the airport to the airport

480

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it literally was, we'd get there at

481

four in the morning on the airport and

that is where the holiday had start.

482

I'd be sort of comatose by the time we

got on the transfer to the accommodation.

483

So the first year I didn't go on holiday

'cause , I thought I'd give in basically.

484

I didn't think I'd be strong enough.

485

But we went last year and.

486

It was amazing.

487

I'd been so worried and worked

up about it, and I got a little

488

library with me to take on

holiday, , for books and everything.

489

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855: Yeah.

490

squadcaster-edf1_1_05-06-2025_180806:

it was different.

491

so like in the evenings you'd

have your meal and then you'd

492

be like, well, what now?

493

because you, you, you'd normally,

you'd be going from bar to bar, so

494

we'd just have a nice meal and then

we'd go and find somewhere for a nice

495

dessert and then we'd go back to the

accommodation and we'd be on TikTok.

496

but once it's mind over matter, once you

get used to it and it's your new normal.

497

vic-host886_1_05-06-2025_180855:

I think most people go on holiday

498

and they probably overindulge

and I was no different.

499

So I don't really know what just

happened there, but mid-conversation,

500

uh, the platform decided to fail.

501

So I'm just gonna finish up by saying

thank you so much for Philippa coming

502

on and sharing her story with us.

503

Um, sounds amazing.

504

She really did go from drinking quite

a considerable amount of alcohol and

505

that being such a big part of her

life and her marriage, um, to managing

506

her life completely differently.

507

And, um, and.

508

Was about to tell us about the wonderful

holidays that, that she's had since.

509

So I'm sorry that we didn't

get to hear that bit.

510

My holidays have been immense since

I stopped drinking, and that was

511

something that I was quite afraid of.

512

Um, I had always thought that it

might be a bit boring if you weren't

513

drinking alcohol, but as it turned

out, they, they're actually amazing.

514

And I do have earlier nights, I don't

drink Illuminous drinks anymore, and

515

I'm certainly not sitting around.

516

The pool with a glass

of wine at five o'clock.

517

But what I do do is really

appreciate my downtime and I

518

love being there in the sun.

519

I love the sand, I love the sea.

520

All of those things.

521

I appreciate that bit more.

522

And well, the biggest thing of

all is that I've never hung over

523

and, , I don't come back home feeling

worse than I did before I left.

524

So pure rest, , holidays are a proper joy.

525

. I'm gonna say goodbye now and

thanks again to Philippa and

526

I'll see you all next time.

527

Thanks.

528

Bye.

529

Thank you for listening.

530

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

531

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

532

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

533

Dot com.

534

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

535

A F stories@outlook.com.

536

And don't forget.

537

You can make your catch phrase.

538

I don't drink.