Artwork for podcast Sharing The Middle
Good Days and Bad Days Mini-Episode
Episode 3518th May 2023 • Sharing The Middle • Joyful Support Movement
00:00:00 00:16:13

Share Episode

Shownotes

This week's mini-episode really explores the ups and downs that come with having good days while chronically ill. I give some advice for you even if you don't have those bad of days (we all have some kind of bad day!). I also end with a little Vanderpump Rules talk and a VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!

Essay From The Mddl

Lacey Loves Links

Follow No Shame In The Home Game on Instagram

For more Sharing The Mddl:

Come support me on Patreon!

Submit your own question for advice. Email me at hello@themddl.com

Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!

iTunes

Spotify

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Website

Mentioned in this episode:

My Happy Curves

Enjoy 15% off your first purchase at myhappycurves.com/lacey15 or using the Promo Code Lacey15

My Happy Curves

Transcripts

Lacey:

Welcome to sharing the middle of we're recovering

Lacey:

perfectionist overachievers, and anyone in the middle of a struggle.

Lacey:

Come together to learn, to embrace the messy middles of life.

Lacey:

I am Lacy your friend in the middle and guide whose claim to fame this

Lacey:

week is literally just making my bed just now all by myself, which is huge.

Lacey:

I know that may not be used you, but again, huge for me.

Lacey:

And I'm real proud, lots of leaning over and walking around.

Lacey:

So for someone who struggles with both of those things, I'm kicking ass today.

Lacey:

Today is a mini episode, which means that you're here.

Lacey:

And for me, we're going to do an essay from the middle about an ode to a good

Lacey:

day, but also the dark side of a good day.

Lacey:

The advice from the middle is going to be.

Lacey:

Just for me, I'm not going to read a letter today, but instead

Lacey:

we're going to talk through.

Lacey:

Some of my advice for making it through a bad day.

Lacey:

And then we'll go into Lacey loves where I have a really

Lacey:

big and exciting announcement.

Lacey:

So let's get started.

Lacey:

And now an essay from the middle, the good and bad.

Lacey:

Have a good day.

Lacey:

I keep having more good days.

Lacey:

This is an achievement and something to celebrate.

Lacey:

So I wanted to document the goodness of a good day.

Lacey:

But also be clear about the rough parts.

Lacey:

I know, we'd all like to think it's all sunshine and rainbows.

Lacey:

There is another side of a good day, which can often take the form of a bad day.

Lacey:

Or bad

Lacey:

Thoughts.

Lacey:

Let's jump in.

Lacey:

Getting back to myself.

Lacey:

I've talked before about the grieving of my previous self.

Lacey:

I've heard people talk about their previous bodies.

Lacey:

Thinking how good they had it and how they would love to have that body now.

Lacey:

This is kind of what it's like to me.

Lacey:

Daydreaming about the things that my previous body was capable of.

Lacey:

On a good day.

Lacey:

I feel close to being that old self.

Lacey:

I feel so close to having the energy that I used to.

Lacey:

I feel close to filling up a room.

Lacey:

Like I think I did before.

Lacey:

The joy of getting there of building, being close to that person.

Lacey:

I was really comes down to control with this control.

Lacey:

I feel more capable of building a life than I am excited and proud of.

Lacey:

On a good day.

Lacey:

I have more control.

Lacey:

I don't have the same amount of barriers.

Lacey:

Even with my illness and even on my bad days,

Lacey:

I really see how I am building a life.

Lacey:

That is amazing.

Lacey:

That is one that I'm excited to talk about and be a part of on good days.

Lacey:

Even with that higher level of control.

Lacey:

There are aspects of that old life that I don't feel like I have now.

Lacey:

I don't think it's necessarily sad.

Lacey:

I think it's actually helping me see how the old version of

Lacey:

me fits into this new version.

Lacey:

She comes in different ways at different times, she isn't

Lacey:

lost and I am still a whole.

Lacey:

Building a bank of gratitude.

Lacey:

It is so true that once you lose something, you appreciate

Lacey:

it more than you did before.

Lacey:

This weekend, my kids and I had an impromptu dance party.

Lacey:

It was so fun to just dance and be silly with them because

Lacey:

that's a place that they were in.

Lacey:

I could meet them there.

Lacey:

This isn't something that I can do every day.

Lacey:

But on Sunday, I could.

Lacey:

My daughter and I danced.

Lacey:

And then my son came in and he danced and there was a moment

Lacey:

we were all just dancing and laughing and being so happy, man.

Lacey:

I savored it and I seriously felt a joy, like never before.

Lacey:

My whole life.

Lacey:

I have been really good at having moments where it feels like my chest

Lacey:

is about to explode with happiness.

Lacey:

I could always really take that feeling in cement it and love it.

Lacey:

But now I have that feeling and I can cement it.

Lacey:

Love it.

Lacey:

And just deeply appreciate it.

Lacey:

Like never before.

Lacey:

I recently saw a clip from an interview with Michael J.

Lacey:

Fox, where he talks about how gratitude makes optimism sustainable.

Lacey:

That with gratitude, we are able to be more positive in our outlook.

Lacey:

Because we can identify the good that we have now.

Lacey:

I think that's really what it comes down to.

Lacey:

On, my good days, I am filling up that gratitude bucket.

Lacey:

I'm filling it up so that I can be optimistic on the next downturn.

Lacey:

The dark side of a good day.

Lacey:

I really do think it's important to talk about the dark side of a good day.

Lacey:

Life is full of ups and downs.

Lacey:

If we don't all talk about the downs, if we don't talk about the shadowy parts.

Lacey:

We all believe that not everybody has That we are alone in these

Lacey:

struggles and that's just not true.

Lacey:

Even those good days have their shadows.

Lacey:

So I'm going to tell you about mine.

Lacey:

Guilt.

Lacey:

Every once in a while on a good day, I have this thought that I wouldn't

Lacey:

be having a good day if it wasn't for the time and energy that my family

Lacey:

puts in to help me on my bad days.

Lacey:

And yes.

Lacey:

That's a positive.

Lacey:

But it comes with so much guilt, the guilt that I took advantage

Lacey:

of them to get this good day.

Lacey:

I know that may sound like backwards thinking and frankly,

Lacey:

It is backward thinking.

Lacey:

My family helps me because they love me and because they want my good days.

Lacey:

Even with that, there's this little voice in my head, thinks I didn't deserve it.

Lacey:

That I'm making this all up and I am taking advantage of them.

Lacey:

I am not making it up.

Lacey:

I'm seeing that mostly for myself and also to appease my

Lacey:

worry that people think I am.

Lacey:

It's a fear that I have.

Lacey:

And it's a fear that I need to like go off.

Lacey:

Good days are predictors of bad days.

Lacey:

So good days have guilt.

Lacey:

Good days.

Lacey:

Also often bring bad days.

Lacey:

On a good day.

Lacey:

I want to do everything I can.

Lacey:

Because of that, sometimes one good day can mean two bad days.

Lacey:

Honestly in the long run.

Lacey:

I am very, very happy to have one good day for every two bad days.

Lacey:

That was a trade I happily , am willing to make.

Lacey:

But it's an equation then I am always running in my head.

Lacey:

I am two days out from one of my best day so far.

Lacey:

And I am dictating this into my phone because my body

Lacey:

really can't handle much more.

Lacey:

Sitting up and typing.

Lacey:

Isn't technology magical that that's possible.

Lacey:

I'll never not think that's cool.

Lacey:

So, yeah, the good days come with costs.

Lacey:

But the good days are worth it.

Lacey:

And by appreciating these good days.

Lacey:

I can easily make it through the bad.

Lacey:

And that's my ode to a good day.

Lacey:

In this advice from the mental today.

Lacey:

We're really going to just pause and it's more of an affirmation.

Lacey:

And I do this because one I've had a really rough week and

Lacey:

I don't have the capacity.

Lacey:

To really dig deep and give somebody else advice.

Lacey:

So I'm going to give myself the advice I needed earlier this week.

Lacey:

And I'm hoping that vice resonates with you too.

Lacey:

Now I know my bad days probably.

Lacey:

Look a little bit rougher.

Lacey:

Than yours.

Lacey:

But even Pre- Sickness Lacey had quite a few bad days.

Lacey:

Sometimes those just looked like days where I knew I should do something

Lacey:

and it just couldn't figure it out.

Lacey:

And I was grumpy.

Lacey:

Sometimes they were a series of unfortunate events.

Lacey:

That felt like the world was against me.

Lacey:

If I could really truly recognize.

Lacey:

The small progress that I make every day.

Lacey:

Not only recognize it.

Lacey:

But actually believe and see the progress that it is.

Lacey:

I know that.

Lacey:

Sounds really simple.

Lacey:

And I say it all the time.

Lacey:

Right?

Lacey:

But the doing is always harder.

Lacey:

Then the saying, right?

Lacey:

you've heard me try to do this for myself already.

Lacey:

If you've listened to more than one episode of this podcast.

Lacey:

In the beginning, I share my claim to fame for the week.

Lacey:

Because.

Lacey:

I am learning to accept.

Lacey:

Things previously I would have.

Lacey:

Almost shamed myself for.

Lacey:

For thinking that they were a big deal.

Lacey:

Actually letting them be a big deal.

Lacey:

And I do this, not to dilute things that are an even bigger deal.

Lacey:

But actually to give those credit because I've learned.

Lacey:

When I start to downplay one thing.

Lacey:

And another thing and another thing it balloons.

Lacey:

And then nothing is ever good enough.

Lacey:

And just saying that out loud is so dumb.

Lacey:

Of course things are good enough.

Lacey:

Absolutely.

Lacey:

Good enough.

Lacey:

This week.

Lacey:

Even though they were late.

Lacey:

late internally.

Lacey:

I met my deadlines of getting all this stuff out for the middle..

Lacey:

That is a celebration.

Lacey:

Yes, I met expectations.

Lacey:

But I did it in the face of real difficulty.

Lacey:

And that means something.

Lacey:

It's a fine line, right?

Lacey:

Making my bed today.

Lacey:

Was a big deal for me.

Lacey:

This morning, I passed out, leaning over, getting clothes out.

Lacey:

I of my children's laundry.

Lacey:

And still a what hour or later?

Lacey:

I was able to get myself together enough to do just as much bending over.

Lacey:

I'm walking around to make my bed.

Lacey:

That's freaking awesome.

Lacey:

And I'm allowed to think.

Lacey:

It's awesome.

Lacey:

So to you, my dear listener.

Lacey:

Celebrate them.

Lacey:

Celebrate the wins do not.

Lacey:

Do not tear yourself down because you don't think that they're good enough.

Lacey:

You deserve the w in your corner.

Lacey:

Hopefully.

Lacey:

Maybe.

Lacey:

Future Lacey.

Lacey:

You will listen to this advice from the middle and take her own dag on advice.

Lacey:

Spoiler alert, maybe not.

Lacey:

.

Lacey:

Talk about Vanderpump rules.

Lacey:

Last night, I stayed up.

Lacey:

And watched it live on TV, which is something I.

Lacey:

Almost never do.

Lacey:

genuinely cannot remember the last time I chose to watch.

Lacey:

So that I could be in the know with the rest of the world.

Lacey:

And it did not disappoint.

Lacey:

I am not a Brava recap podcast, but I will say.

Lacey:

It's so interesting to see such a.

Lacey:

Twisted.

Lacey:

Of.

Lacey:

Insanity come to light and to see people be held accountable.

Lacey:

And like actual time.

Lacey:

If you don't know anything about Vanderpump rules, essentially

Lacey:

this man, Tom Sandovall cheated on his long-term partner.

Lacey:

Eriana.

Lacey:

With their best friend, Raquel.

Lacey:

And, If it is some of the best reality TV in the world, that's not for everybody

Lacey:

and that's fine, but it is for me.

Lacey:

And I love it so much.

Lacey:

, I love it so much because.

Lacey:

It's human interaction.

Lacey:

I realized that the other day of I enjoy human stories and these

Lacey:

are people telling their stories.

Lacey:

Well, someone's telling their story.

Lacey:

Someone's doing a story.

Lacey:

I'm not getting into the realness of everything, but.

Lacey:

. It's fascinating.

Lacey:

It is fascinating to see someone be held accountable.

Lacey:

It's fascinating to see.

Lacey:

Really the rebirth of a kick ass woman.

Lacey:

And just, If you are a VPR person.

Lacey:

Come find me and let's talk about it.

Lacey:

Because it's.

Lacey:

Fascinating.

Lacey:

The other thing that I want to tell you about this week is that

Lacey:

I am producing a second podcast.

Lacey:

Yes, your girl is a podcast mogul now.

Lacey:

the middle is now a podcast network, apparently.

Lacey:

and I am partnering up with my dear friends.

Lacey:

Sarah, you heard her on this podcast a few weeks ago in the.

Lacey:

Women who made me series.

Lacey:

She runs your aligned home and she's a home management consultant.

Lacey:

Sarah helps people have their homes feel good.

Lacey:

And then talking to Sarah.

Lacey:

I had this idea for this podcast that is like a home make-over reality TV show.

Lacey:

I came to light where we're going to have three participants for season one.

Lacey:

And we are going to follow their journey.

Lacey:

Of hearing about how their home fields, how they want their home to

Lacey:

feel some suggestions and ideas and systems that Sarah can help them with.

Lacey:

And then we're going to see what works and what doesn't.

Lacey:

And that's the beauty of it is that if something doesn't work, that's still a

Lacey:

success because we figured out a piece.

Lacey:

It's so fun to hear Sarah.

Lacey:

Love what she does.

Lacey:

I just sit there and smile as she's talking, because she is so passionate.

Lacey:

And Lovely about wanting to help people.

Lacey:

Spoiler alert.

Lacey:

I, my household is one of them.

Lacey:

The holes that is going to be a participant, this first season.

Lacey:

Joe is going to join us and we're going to try to get some systems for our home

Lacey:

and the way that we want it to run.

Lacey:

'cause that's what it comes down to.

Lacey:

At first, I had this like visceral.

Lacey:

Oh no.

Lacey:

How are we having a home makeover show?

Lacey:

With no visuals.

Lacey:

And then I thought, oh my gosh, of course we're having a home

Lacey:

makeover show with no visuals.

Lacey:

And it's all spoken because it's about the person's feeling in their home.

Lacey:

And it's just their home.

Lacey:

I don't need to know.

Lacey:

I would love to know because you guys know that I'm nosy.

Lacey:

I don't need to know about their mass or their,

Lacey:

The way that it actually looks, I want to hear about how they want it

Lacey:

to feel, how it's not feeling that way and how we can overcome it.

Lacey:

At the core of this podcast, it's about seeing each other.

Lacey:

For who we are, where we are and not judging.

Lacey:

What works for them and what doesn't work for them and that kind of stuff,

Lacey:

which is really what the middle is about.

Lacey:

It's about putting out there.

Lacey:

These hard things and talking about them.

Lacey:

So that we all can feel seen where we are.

Lacey:

So the podcast is called no shame in the home game.

Lacey:

We have our Instagram live.

Lacey:

If you want to go over there and and follow it, we'll be

Lacey:

dropping the trailer next week.

Lacey:

Hint, hint, wink, wink.

Lacey:

It will be.

Lacey:

Podcast speed.

Lacey:

it is something really special and it is something that I am

Lacey:

so excited for you all to hear.

Lacey:

Join us along this ride.

Lacey:

And,

Lacey:

You know the movement to have no shame in our home game.

Lacey:

And truly embrace and love our homes for how they feel.

Lacey:

So we can go out into the world and spread those good feels beyond our houses.

Lacey:

That's it from sharing the middle of this week.

Lacey:

Thank you so much for.

Lacey:

Being here and being with me, I really appreciate it.

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube