This week's mini-episode really explores the ups and downs that come with having good days while chronically ill. I give some advice for you even if you don't have those bad of days (we all have some kind of bad day!). I also end with a little Vanderpump Rules talk and a VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!
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My Happy Curves
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Welcome to sharing the middle of we're recovering
Lacey:perfectionist overachievers, and anyone in the middle of a struggle.
Lacey:Come together to learn, to embrace the messy middles of life.
Lacey:I am Lacy your friend in the middle and guide whose claim to fame this
Lacey:week is literally just making my bed just now all by myself, which is huge.
Lacey:I know that may not be used you, but again, huge for me.
Lacey:And I'm real proud, lots of leaning over and walking around.
Lacey:So for someone who struggles with both of those things, I'm kicking ass today.
Lacey:Today is a mini episode, which means that you're here.
Lacey:And for me, we're going to do an essay from the middle about an ode to a good
Lacey:day, but also the dark side of a good day.
Lacey:The advice from the middle is going to be.
Lacey:Just for me, I'm not going to read a letter today, but instead
Lacey:we're going to talk through.
Lacey:Some of my advice for making it through a bad day.
Lacey:And then we'll go into Lacey loves where I have a really
Lacey:big and exciting announcement.
Lacey:So let's get started.
Lacey:And now an essay from the middle, the good and bad.
Lacey:Have a good day.
Lacey:I keep having more good days.
Lacey:This is an achievement and something to celebrate.
Lacey:So I wanted to document the goodness of a good day.
Lacey:But also be clear about the rough parts.
Lacey:I know, we'd all like to think it's all sunshine and rainbows.
Lacey:There is another side of a good day, which can often take the form of a bad day.
Lacey:Or bad
Lacey:Thoughts.
Lacey:Let's jump in.
Lacey:Getting back to myself.
Lacey:I've talked before about the grieving of my previous self.
Lacey:I've heard people talk about their previous bodies.
Lacey:Thinking how good they had it and how they would love to have that body now.
Lacey:This is kind of what it's like to me.
Lacey:Daydreaming about the things that my previous body was capable of.
Lacey:On a good day.
Lacey:I feel close to being that old self.
Lacey:I feel so close to having the energy that I used to.
Lacey:I feel close to filling up a room.
Lacey:Like I think I did before.
Lacey:The joy of getting there of building, being close to that person.
Lacey:I was really comes down to control with this control.
Lacey:I feel more capable of building a life than I am excited and proud of.
Lacey:On a good day.
Lacey:I have more control.
Lacey:I don't have the same amount of barriers.
Lacey:Even with my illness and even on my bad days,
Lacey:I really see how I am building a life.
Lacey:That is amazing.
Lacey:That is one that I'm excited to talk about and be a part of on good days.
Lacey:Even with that higher level of control.
Lacey:There are aspects of that old life that I don't feel like I have now.
Lacey:I don't think it's necessarily sad.
Lacey:I think it's actually helping me see how the old version of
Lacey:me fits into this new version.
Lacey:She comes in different ways at different times, she isn't
Lacey:lost and I am still a whole.
Lacey:Building a bank of gratitude.
Lacey:It is so true that once you lose something, you appreciate
Lacey:it more than you did before.
Lacey:This weekend, my kids and I had an impromptu dance party.
Lacey:It was so fun to just dance and be silly with them because
Lacey:that's a place that they were in.
Lacey:I could meet them there.
Lacey:This isn't something that I can do every day.
Lacey:But on Sunday, I could.
Lacey:My daughter and I danced.
Lacey:And then my son came in and he danced and there was a moment
Lacey:we were all just dancing and laughing and being so happy, man.
Lacey:I savored it and I seriously felt a joy, like never before.
Lacey:My whole life.
Lacey:I have been really good at having moments where it feels like my chest
Lacey:is about to explode with happiness.
Lacey:I could always really take that feeling in cement it and love it.
Lacey:But now I have that feeling and I can cement it.
Lacey:Love it.
Lacey:And just deeply appreciate it.
Lacey:Like never before.
Lacey:I recently saw a clip from an interview with Michael J.
Lacey:Fox, where he talks about how gratitude makes optimism sustainable.
Lacey:That with gratitude, we are able to be more positive in our outlook.
Lacey:Because we can identify the good that we have now.
Lacey:I think that's really what it comes down to.
Lacey:On, my good days, I am filling up that gratitude bucket.
Lacey:I'm filling it up so that I can be optimistic on the next downturn.
Lacey:The dark side of a good day.
Lacey:I really do think it's important to talk about the dark side of a good day.
Lacey:Life is full of ups and downs.
Lacey:If we don't all talk about the downs, if we don't talk about the shadowy parts.
Lacey:We all believe that not everybody has That we are alone in these
Lacey:struggles and that's just not true.
Lacey:Even those good days have their shadows.
Lacey:So I'm going to tell you about mine.
Lacey:Guilt.
Lacey:Every once in a while on a good day, I have this thought that I wouldn't
Lacey:be having a good day if it wasn't for the time and energy that my family
Lacey:puts in to help me on my bad days.
Lacey:And yes.
Lacey:That's a positive.
Lacey:But it comes with so much guilt, the guilt that I took advantage
Lacey:of them to get this good day.
Lacey:I know that may sound like backwards thinking and frankly,
Lacey:It is backward thinking.
Lacey:My family helps me because they love me and because they want my good days.
Lacey:Even with that, there's this little voice in my head, thinks I didn't deserve it.
Lacey:That I'm making this all up and I am taking advantage of them.
Lacey:I am not making it up.
Lacey:I'm seeing that mostly for myself and also to appease my
Lacey:worry that people think I am.
Lacey:It's a fear that I have.
Lacey:And it's a fear that I need to like go off.
Lacey:Good days are predictors of bad days.
Lacey:So good days have guilt.
Lacey:Good days.
Lacey:Also often bring bad days.
Lacey:On a good day.
Lacey:I want to do everything I can.
Lacey:Because of that, sometimes one good day can mean two bad days.
Lacey:Honestly in the long run.
Lacey:I am very, very happy to have one good day for every two bad days.
Lacey:That was a trade I happily , am willing to make.
Lacey:But it's an equation then I am always running in my head.
Lacey:I am two days out from one of my best day so far.
Lacey:And I am dictating this into my phone because my body
Lacey:really can't handle much more.
Lacey:Sitting up and typing.
Lacey:Isn't technology magical that that's possible.
Lacey:I'll never not think that's cool.
Lacey:So, yeah, the good days come with costs.
Lacey:But the good days are worth it.
Lacey:And by appreciating these good days.
Lacey:I can easily make it through the bad.
Lacey:And that's my ode to a good day.
Lacey:In this advice from the mental today.
Lacey:We're really going to just pause and it's more of an affirmation.
Lacey:And I do this because one I've had a really rough week and
Lacey:I don't have the capacity.
Lacey:To really dig deep and give somebody else advice.
Lacey:So I'm going to give myself the advice I needed earlier this week.
Lacey:And I'm hoping that vice resonates with you too.
Lacey:Now I know my bad days probably.
Lacey:Look a little bit rougher.
Lacey:Than yours.
Lacey:But even Pre- Sickness Lacey had quite a few bad days.
Lacey:Sometimes those just looked like days where I knew I should do something
Lacey:and it just couldn't figure it out.
Lacey:And I was grumpy.
Lacey:Sometimes they were a series of unfortunate events.
Lacey:That felt like the world was against me.
Lacey:If I could really truly recognize.
Lacey:The small progress that I make every day.
Lacey:Not only recognize it.
Lacey:But actually believe and see the progress that it is.
Lacey:I know that.
Lacey:Sounds really simple.
Lacey:And I say it all the time.
Lacey:Right?
Lacey:But the doing is always harder.
Lacey:Then the saying, right?
Lacey:you've heard me try to do this for myself already.
Lacey:If you've listened to more than one episode of this podcast.
Lacey:In the beginning, I share my claim to fame for the week.
Lacey:Because.
Lacey:I am learning to accept.
Lacey:Things previously I would have.
Lacey:Almost shamed myself for.
Lacey:For thinking that they were a big deal.
Lacey:Actually letting them be a big deal.
Lacey:And I do this, not to dilute things that are an even bigger deal.
Lacey:But actually to give those credit because I've learned.
Lacey:When I start to downplay one thing.
Lacey:And another thing and another thing it balloons.
Lacey:And then nothing is ever good enough.
Lacey:And just saying that out loud is so dumb.
Lacey:Of course things are good enough.
Lacey:Absolutely.
Lacey:Good enough.
Lacey:This week.
Lacey:Even though they were late.
Lacey:late internally.
Lacey:I met my deadlines of getting all this stuff out for the middle..
Lacey:That is a celebration.
Lacey:Yes, I met expectations.
Lacey:But I did it in the face of real difficulty.
Lacey:And that means something.
Lacey:It's a fine line, right?
Lacey:Making my bed today.
Lacey:Was a big deal for me.
Lacey:This morning, I passed out, leaning over, getting clothes out.
Lacey:I of my children's laundry.
Lacey:And still a what hour or later?
Lacey:I was able to get myself together enough to do just as much bending over.
Lacey:I'm walking around to make my bed.
Lacey:That's freaking awesome.
Lacey:And I'm allowed to think.
Lacey:It's awesome.
Lacey:So to you, my dear listener.
Lacey:Celebrate them.
Lacey:Celebrate the wins do not.
Lacey:Do not tear yourself down because you don't think that they're good enough.
Lacey:You deserve the w in your corner.
Lacey:Hopefully.
Lacey:Maybe.
Lacey:Future Lacey.
Lacey:You will listen to this advice from the middle and take her own dag on advice.
Lacey:Spoiler alert, maybe not.
Lacey:.
Lacey:Talk about Vanderpump rules.
Lacey:Last night, I stayed up.
Lacey:And watched it live on TV, which is something I.
Lacey:Almost never do.
Lacey:genuinely cannot remember the last time I chose to watch.
Lacey:So that I could be in the know with the rest of the world.
Lacey:And it did not disappoint.
Lacey:I am not a Brava recap podcast, but I will say.
Lacey:It's so interesting to see such a.
Lacey:Twisted.
Lacey:Of.
Lacey:Insanity come to light and to see people be held accountable.
Lacey:And like actual time.
Lacey:If you don't know anything about Vanderpump rules, essentially
Lacey:this man, Tom Sandovall cheated on his long-term partner.
Lacey:Eriana.
Lacey:With their best friend, Raquel.
Lacey:And, If it is some of the best reality TV in the world, that's not for everybody
Lacey:and that's fine, but it is for me.
Lacey:And I love it so much.
Lacey:, I love it so much because.
Lacey:It's human interaction.
Lacey:I realized that the other day of I enjoy human stories and these
Lacey:are people telling their stories.
Lacey:Well, someone's telling their story.
Lacey:Someone's doing a story.
Lacey:I'm not getting into the realness of everything, but.
Lacey:. It's fascinating.
Lacey:It is fascinating to see someone be held accountable.
Lacey:It's fascinating to see.
Lacey:Really the rebirth of a kick ass woman.
Lacey:And just, If you are a VPR person.
Lacey:Come find me and let's talk about it.
Lacey:Because it's.
Lacey:Fascinating.
Lacey:The other thing that I want to tell you about this week is that
Lacey:I am producing a second podcast.
Lacey:Yes, your girl is a podcast mogul now.
Lacey:the middle is now a podcast network, apparently.
Lacey:and I am partnering up with my dear friends.
Lacey:Sarah, you heard her on this podcast a few weeks ago in the.
Lacey:Women who made me series.
Lacey:She runs your aligned home and she's a home management consultant.
Lacey:Sarah helps people have their homes feel good.
Lacey:And then talking to Sarah.
Lacey:I had this idea for this podcast that is like a home make-over reality TV show.
Lacey:I came to light where we're going to have three participants for season one.
Lacey:And we are going to follow their journey.
Lacey:Of hearing about how their home fields, how they want their home to
Lacey:feel some suggestions and ideas and systems that Sarah can help them with.
Lacey:And then we're going to see what works and what doesn't.
Lacey:And that's the beauty of it is that if something doesn't work, that's still a
Lacey:success because we figured out a piece.
Lacey:It's so fun to hear Sarah.
Lacey:Love what she does.
Lacey:I just sit there and smile as she's talking, because she is so passionate.
Lacey:And Lovely about wanting to help people.
Lacey:Spoiler alert.
Lacey:I, my household is one of them.
Lacey:The holes that is going to be a participant, this first season.
Lacey:Joe is going to join us and we're going to try to get some systems for our home
Lacey:and the way that we want it to run.
Lacey:'cause that's what it comes down to.
Lacey:At first, I had this like visceral.
Lacey:Oh no.
Lacey:How are we having a home makeover show?
Lacey:With no visuals.
Lacey:And then I thought, oh my gosh, of course we're having a home
Lacey:makeover show with no visuals.
Lacey:And it's all spoken because it's about the person's feeling in their home.
Lacey:And it's just their home.
Lacey:I don't need to know.
Lacey:I would love to know because you guys know that I'm nosy.
Lacey:I don't need to know about their mass or their,
Lacey:The way that it actually looks, I want to hear about how they want it
Lacey:to feel, how it's not feeling that way and how we can overcome it.
Lacey:At the core of this podcast, it's about seeing each other.
Lacey:For who we are, where we are and not judging.
Lacey:What works for them and what doesn't work for them and that kind of stuff,
Lacey:which is really what the middle is about.
Lacey:It's about putting out there.
Lacey:These hard things and talking about them.
Lacey:So that we all can feel seen where we are.
Lacey:So the podcast is called no shame in the home game.
Lacey:We have our Instagram live.
Lacey:If you want to go over there and and follow it, we'll be
Lacey:dropping the trailer next week.
Lacey:Hint, hint, wink, wink.
Lacey:It will be.
Lacey:Podcast speed.
Lacey:it is something really special and it is something that I am
Lacey:so excited for you all to hear.
Lacey:Join us along this ride.
Lacey:And,
Lacey:You know the movement to have no shame in our home game.
Lacey:And truly embrace and love our homes for how they feel.
Lacey:So we can go out into the world and spread those good feels beyond our houses.
Lacey:That's it from sharing the middle of this week.
Lacey:Thank you so much for.
Lacey:Being here and being with me, I really appreciate it.