Jessica wasn’t sure why she started having hiccups when she was a teen, but was finally diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. She shares positive lessons learned from her diagnosis and how she grieved the loss of her brother.

Episode Discussion Points

• The new book she is writing about a French Countess in the 1800s who had Tourette Syndrome which will be called “Madamn”
• This is important to Jessica because she was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome in her later teens/early twenties.
• What her childhood and adulthood looked like as Tourette’s gradually came on with her starting to make noises.
• “Stop trying to fix me. I’m not broken.”
• What Tourette Syndrome tics look like and the range—between the echolalia, the swearing, flipping people off or eye blinking. Each person with Tourette’s is unique and different.
• What it feels like to tic and how sometimes they pop out and other times they build up.
• The process she went through from being a shy child to being very vocal about Tourette Syndrome.
• First, recognizing ticking was just a normal bodily function
• Learn all you can about your diagnosis, and figure out how you can share your uniqueness in our culture—and create new rules for how we deal with different situations (like Tourette’s).
• The ability to create a new story for herself and how people deal with her with Tourette’s was so empowering.
• All an awkward situation is, “When we don’t know what the rules are.”
• “We are beings of creation just like [God] is. And we are also able to create. . . in the world around us.”
• Jessica has also dealt with the death of several close family members and friends, and has had to learn how to grieve.
• When Jessica’s brother was murdered in 2019 it was the hardest thing she had ever experienced. She wasn’t handling it very well—and then COVID hit and she had the time she needed to process her grief.
• She learned to evaluate—is this grief and bitterness serving me? If not, how am I going to change it?
• Different people are going to go through the grief and healing process differently. But just because they do it differently, doesn’t mean it is right for you.
• The beauty of being unique is we can each tap into God and ask Him to help us process grief the way that is right for us.
• Things which helped Jessica heal from grief:
• journaling
• prayer: talk to God and ask, “This is my new situation. How do I move forward?” God often then gives or helps us find baby steps to build upon.
• going to church or other holy places
• Sometimes God opens doors to healing which you might not traditionally think of but which will help you heal. Be open to those.
• restorative yoga
• tapping
• She started to see God in a lot of metaphysical practices which aren’t traditionally Christian.
• “This grief thing did open up new pathways and I found God there too.”
• Be willing to prayerfully keep trying different healing techniques God may guide you to until you feel whole.
• Each time you try a new technique it like putting different tools in your toolbox which you can then access and use to help you now or later.
• Be real. Don’t try to paste on a happy face if you’re not feeling that way. Sometimes we get embarrassed by our emotions, but it is good to be real.
• It is okay to feel grief. It isn’t going to go away magically. You will reach a point where you finish a crying session, and take a breath. Then, the key is to “move forward,” and take baby steps towards your new normal.
• The idea that destruction is actually part of creation. When something or someone is taken from us, it leaves a space to build, design, grow or create something new—A new normal in who we are becoming.
• “God sees the potential of who we can become.”
• Those who pass on are still with us in spirit

Tips for Helping Friends Who Are Grieving

• Bring in meals, and perhaps ask if there is anything they need specifically
• Some of the best meals were pre-frozen so they could use it whenever they needed it
• You don’t have to “say” anything. Just go and cry with them.
• Show love!

Resources

• The Book About Nothing, by Mike Bender

Connect with Jessica Smith (aka Paula Jean Ferri)

• paulajeanferri.com
• https://www.facebook.com/jesssqueaks
• https://www.instagram.com/jesssqueaks/
• https://twitter.com/jesssqueaks
• https://jesssqueaks.medium.com/

#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #tourettesyndrome #grief #loss #tips #creation #bibleverse

Transcription

You can find the transcription of today's episode here: https://www.tamarakanderson.com/podcasts/jessica-smith-creating-a-new-normal-with-tourettes-grief