WARNING: This episode discusses the importance of seeking help when it comes to sensitive topics such as depression, anxiety, and suicide. Please check out additional information at the National Institute of Mental Health (if in the United States) to learn more information and call 988 if you ever need assistance.

This episode wraps up the introduction of the podcast by discussing the final value of Your Speaking Voice LLC: determination. Combining on what was discussed in episodes 3 and 5, this feeling to persist regardless of the odds truly determines our ability to move forward through any type of goal we set for ourselves. Our podcast host talks about his own unique situation which transformed the journey he has been on the last 3 years as he has pursued new adventures through sheer grit and the willingness to expand his comfort zone and changing the thoughts he had about himself. By helping others, seeking hope by realizing self-confidence, and understanding what we have yet to unlock, nothing is impossible that we can achieve.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

This is Speaking From The Heart.

Welcome back to episode number seven of Speaking From The Heart.

Today we're going to talk about the last value of why I started my business,

Your Speaking Voice LLC, in which will tie in all the things that we talked

about in episodes three and five, which today I'm calling it determination.

Determination is one of those abstract concepts that I think is very tough for

all of us to think about when it comes to understanding how we process that feeling.

Determination in itself isn't just about having the grit and the

unwavering commitment to move forward.

Part of it is building upon some of the things that we've talked about in some

of the previous episodes in which we have not only the relationships, but

also the confidence to overcome with determination, because if we combine

all of those, we will then have the will to pursue opportunities through time.

We create those passions for goals that we want to achieve by overcoming the

things such as the events, the past trauma, all the different difficulties

to become the best version of ourselves and determination can create some of that

opportunity for us to help exacerbate the aspirations that we have deep inside

and might been dormant for so long.

I have to tell you straight out that this episode's going to contain a lot about

my own personal story as it relates to determination, so for those that are

going through a mental health crisis, please be forewarned that I'm going to be

sharing a little bit of my story, which does talk about not only depression, but

also trying to commit suicide, which I highly encourage any of my listeners here

to follow up with a therapist, somebody that you can care about and talk about

confidently and seek the professional help necessary, because that is something

that I will get into in this episode.

To share my story, I have to share a little bit about what has been happening

to me over the last several years.

Part of the reason that I had started the business was because after a series of

failures that have happened in my life, both from the personal and professional

side, I was starting to feel weighed down.

It was almost like having a brick put on your head and you had to

balance it on top of your head.

I don't know if you ever had to do that when you were a kid just for fun,

but it is very difficult, especially if you are given very little time

to balance it and to move around.

Now, take that brick and start building upon all the different types of bricks

that might be happening in your life.

Insecurity, frustration, relationship failure, all the different failures in

your life, all starting to become bricks, and isn't just one brick that happens,

it's the layering of those bricks.

In episode five, I talked a lot about my struggles, even as a kid growing up,

and those were some of the things that I had to suffer through, and as a result

of all those bricks on one fateful night before my birthday in 2020, February

23rd, I tried to end my life and it's still tough to talk about those feelings

that day that I had and all those bricks that I was carrying and trying

to balance, but they were all tumbling around, but I remember it quite clearly.

I was attending a meeting with other individuals, and I just

felt the connection wasn't there.

I felt that there was trauma, there was turmoil.

The relationships that I had in my life were falling apart.

There were people in my life that I really thought that cared

about me, but they really didn't.

I was messing around with somebody that, to this day, I still question

why I did that, because I might have been looking for attention and

that person wasn't supporting me.

Going into work at my part-time job because it was a Sunday evening, I

felt the layers just caving inside of me, feeling that I was being removed

from society and from the world, it almost felt like having an audit body

experience, but I knew what I had to do.

It was time to end my life.

I didn't want to feel the pain anymore of what that struggle was, and I knew

that if I had to continue doing this and trying to balance all those bricks,

it was no way that was going to happen.

I think that was the moment in my life that determination left and

I was almost left with nothing.

The cries for help were happening all around me trying to reach out

to people on Facebook, trying to say that I needed help, but what came

out instead is, "no one likes me.

No one cares about me.

No one understands what I'm going through."

I was tearing myself down and tearing myself apart in my very eyes.

Two friends that belonged to a local Toastmasters club that I belonged

to who saw those posts, and they were desperately trying to get ahold

of me, and I was not acknowledging whatsoever what they were trying to do.

They kept on encouraging me, "Reach out, get some help", but I was still

refusing, so they took matters in their own hands, and they called 9 1 1.

I remember that day my landlord was sitting at the couch

and the door was knocking.

At the door were the police.

They came, they wanted to know what was going on with me.

I said nothing to my landlord when I walked by him earlier that night when I

finally got done with work, because I was just so removed, I had nothing left in me.

I knew that I was going sit in the back and slice my wrists, and

that would've been the end of it.

I remember those moments, just feeling emptiness deep inside of me,

the cops coming in asking me if I'm okay, telling me that it's time to

go, we're going go to the hospital.

It was a 15 minute drive in the back of a squad car, and the first

time in my life I was detained, if you will, by the cops in handcuffs.

I remember that night driving up through the road where the hospital

was, and the officer said, "I can't believe you would do this for yourself.

I know you look like this than any other normal person."

I said, "Yeah, I know, but this is where I'm at and I'm not happy about

it, but I'm glad that you're here."

I remember that I said something along the lines of I'm glad you're here, and I

don't remember what the exact terminology was, but I realized that I needed to be

able to communicate that to somebody.

Anybody that would listen, and that officer that was driving

me there was willing to do that.

He gave me the dignity of unlocking the handcuffs and allowing me to walk my

own free will into the emergency room.

The doctor took a look at me and after all those things that had happened earlier

in the day, unbeknownst to me, was that those two people that also called the

cops also talked to the doctor and said that this person needs to be able to take

control of what is happening right now.

This person that is in your emergency room, they said, needed medical

attention from a therapist, from a team of doctors, he needs to be observed.

I was admitted into a mental hospital for 72 hours for observation, and

that was the lowest point in my entire life that I have ever felt about the

dignity of determination, having those connections with others and having the

confidence to really build myself back up.

I remember those three days, seeing all kinds of different people and

thinking about all the different people that were in my life that

were just tearing me apart, making me feel like I was worthless.

The non-verbal, the verbal, the things that would make me feel like

I'm complete were not the answers that I was looking for, the formula

that I was using for 30 some years of my life was not working for me.

I realized at that moment that something had the change as I was

sitting in the hospital with the same clothes that I was wearing for almost

three days, because I had nobody that was able to bring anything for me.

I realized that I needed change, and change is what I needed to do.

That was over three years ago, and now I sit here recording this

podcast, thinking about my blessings every time that I have been able

to make steps towards my recovery.

The journey has not been easy.

It has meant facing some of those toxic relationships that were not the

greatest underpinnings of my life.

It was about dealing with the confidence that was sucked outta my life.

I was not the best version of myself.

I needed help so bad that I needed to be able to understand the true importance

of creating value all over again.

I mentioned in another episode that I was diagnosed with autism, and that

started to connect all the dots as to why these overreactions, this acceptance

that I needed, the calls for help, were trying so desperately to be reached out.

Determination is something that you find deep inside of you when

you have to make a choice about what you need to do in your life.

I had to make a choice as to whether I wanted to keep going forward, whether

I wanted to keep fighting back, whether I wanted to have a voice in this

ever-changing world, and I know that I could have quit anytime, anywhere and

would've just ended everything that was happening in my life, but something

pulled me back, and kept telling me to keep pushing forward, to keep telling

myself that I was worthy of all the things that were yet to come in my

life, that all the things that ever needed to happen came from not just the

people that could surround me that were a positive influence and have bestowed

so many gifts for me, but are able to create some of the opportunity that

I have now been able to flourish in.

This is why this podcast exists.

This is why I have the drive now to keep continuing the conversation as to why

mental health is so important, why we need to be able to take ourselves from

point A to point B on a higher scale.

This is why we can do it together.

I know that maybe you listening to this have everything together.

You are part of this important piece of the puzzle for so many in which you

can help others become the best version of yourselves in order to describe the

determination that you have, not only for yourself, but for others as well.

You can be a source of inspiration in which those people can come to

you for advice and consultation.

You have a gift, and that gift needs to be shared with so many people, and

that's found through the determination that we all have within ourselves.

Whether it is something personal that's holding you back or something

professional, each of us have an inherent duty to find what's inside of ourselves,

to lift us to that next level, and to create some of the vast opportunities

that we can share with others.

Speaking from the heart isn't necessarily about creating those relationships

with others to understand what drives and creates the confidence,

whether that is something that's physically or mentally holding us back.

It's about the determination that they're willing to have to share

what we have as our inner essence.

To be able to say to ourselves that we are a great gift to this Earth and we

are able to take it to the next level by being able to improve ourselves

consistently over and over and over again.

My life is not without meaning.

It is something that I often think about, and even to this day, I still

ask myself the questions as to what happened in the back of my landlord's

room, in which I wanted to just end it, and it's something that we all need to

do in order to create some of the best values, some of the best things that

we would ever have in our entire life.

We are important.

It's about our civic duty to help each other to create some of that value for

not only ourselves, but for others as well, and all you need to do is take

one baby step into the right direction.

Determination isn't just about the things that we can do through time, but it's

about what the things we can do that start today that are the incremental steps to

becoming the best version of ourselves.

We have the keys within ourselves to unlock that potential, and if we're

able to do it by building the best relationships with individuals, if we're

able to create the confidence that we want to have by exhibiting some of the things

that we see in others, and if we're able to take it to the next level by showing

what our real grit is when it comes to being determined, nothing is impossible.

If you can share what's inside of you, you are unlocking something that is

so beautiful that the world will have at its disposal, and only you have

the richness to share with others.

These three values, confidence, relationships, and determination, create

the framework of what makes all of us be able to have a speaking voice.

Thanks for listening to episode seven of Speaking From the Heart,

and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

Thanks for listening.

For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential

services that can help you create the best version of yourself.