We didn't have time for prestige television this week, so Ben and Xhafer just chill and talk about a bunch of stuff. They find out what sopranos characters they and discuss some difficult choices.

descript keeps getting shittier:

Hello, and welcome to Last Time On.

2

This is a show for people who

wanna watch all this prestige

3

television, but who's got time for it?

4

Benjamin: Not Victor.

5

descript keeps getting shittier:

Not Victor and not us.

6

I haven't, I haven't watched

the next episode yet either.

7

It's been a…

8

Well, it's been a crazy week.

9

Benjamin: It has

10

descript keeps getting shittier:

uh, to, uh, give you all a peek

11

behind the curtain a little, uh,

yesterday was Victor's birthday, uh,

12

as of recording, which in that air.

13

It was also, uh, same

birthday as Ben's son.

14

And then also our old co-host on

Ben and I's old pod, Draft the

15

Universe, got married, uh, this

previous couple days ago here too.

16

So

17

Benjamin: Busy

18

descript keeps getting shittier:

it has been…

19

Sorry.

20

Benjamin: Busy

21

descript keeps getting shittier:

a real busy couple of days.

22

So we're just doing a little

parasocial hang today.

23

We're just doing something to keep

going and, uh, just talk a little

24

Benjamin: listeners, when the

Patreon hits $1,000 a month, we will

25

do a paragliding parasocial hang

26

descript keeps getting shittier: Ooh.

27

Benjamin: I'm afraid of heights,

so it's just mostly going to

28

be me screaming, we will do it

29

descript keeps getting shittier:

I am not the best with heights.

30

Heights, um, I've got a problem

with falling I'm okay with though.

31

It's weird.

32

Like, I can be, um…

33

God, uh, there's this, uh, very nice, I

mean, it's like, I think it's the Hilton

34

in downtown Atlanta that's like 40 stories

or something and has a, like, glass

35

elevator that you, like, just like, when

it's clean it looks like you're just on

36

a platform up and down rising and stuff.

37

Benjamin: Like outside of, like

side of the building elevator?

38

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah,

I'm fine going down hanging, like looking

39

over the edge, hanging out and moving

downward, but the second I get off that

40

elevator on the top floor and I'm on my

own and I'm moving around, freaking out.

41

I don't know how I'd do in a paraglider,

but I guess we'll find out if we ever get

42

a Patreon and it gets to $1,000 a month.

43

Benjamin: been parasailing before, and

44

descript keeps getting shittier:

off the side of a building once?

45

Benjamin: yes.

46

Uh, I will say the, the scariest part…

47

So, uh, listener at home, if you haven't

heard this story, I won a contest where

48

the thing you got for winning, it was,

hey, you donate for charity, and then a

49

certain number of winners get to rappel

off of a skyscraper in downtown Detroit.

50

Uh,

51

descript keeps getting shittier: Mm-hmm.

52

Benjamin: I believe it's 40-something

stories, something around there.

53

Big building.

54

Uh, and the, the scariest part

about it is you can't-- You don't

55

test your harness standing up on

the top of the, the, the wall.

56

You, you-- The first time you are

putting weight on the harness on

57

the actual line is as you lean off.

58

Like, they test you, like, on a,

like, swing set, and they're just

59

like, "Hey, your, like, your harness

isn't going to, like, fall off."

60

But the first time I'm t-trusting the

rope that is going to be sending me down

61

the building is as I lean off of it.

62

That

63

descript keeps getting shittier: Mm-hmm.

64

Benjamin: scariest moment.

65

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah,

66

Benjamin: After

67

descript keeps getting shittier: I bet

68

Benjamin: was mostly fine until, uh,

my one problem was I didn't drink

69

much water that day because I was,

knew I was going to be doing this,

70

and I'm like, "Ben, the last thing

you want is to have to pee, like,

71

descript keeps getting shittier: During

72

Benjamin: down when you

gotta go another 30."

73

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

74

Benjamin: but I als- But then it

was, "Actually, no, Ben, the problem

75

is your legs cramping up when you

got about 10 stories left to go."

76

That sucked.

77

Uh, but, uh, so par- I haven't

gone para-, uh, paragliding, but

78

parasailing, you know, being dragged

behind a boat on a parachute.

79

S- Once you get up pretty

high, pretty peaceful.

80

The problem is then the only

sounds you hear are the squeaking

81

of the parasail and, like,

82

descript keeps getting shittier: Угу

83

Benjamin: action, and it's just

like every squeak, I'm just like,

84

"Is that a carabiner failing?

85

Is that a carabiner failing?"

86

I'm gonna have a long time to think

about why did Dad sign us up for this.

87

Uh, the view was really cool

88

descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, I bet.

89

Huh, all right

90

Benjamin: All right.

91

Well, uh

92

Let's see.

93

Do you want, do we wanna

do your thing first?

94

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, we can do my thing first.

95

Yeah.

96

We- we each brought a little

something to do while we're talking.

97

Um, and I thought it'd be fun,

uh, to do a, uh, a Sopranos

98

"What character are you?"

99

Um, this is from Soprano's Blueprint,

uh, the blog formerly known as Woke

100

Up This Morning and Got Myself a Blog

101

Benjamin: Uh, this is also, be

careful what you click on here.

102

It looks like some of the

ads are designed to trick you

103

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, okay

104

I just hit the Take Quiz button

105

Benjamin: Yeah, but the, the

ads are continue to start, uh,

106

like make it look like it is the

button you click to take the quiz

107

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, I didn't get any of those, but

108

I've got, I've got ad blockers at

the hardware level and stuff, so

109

Benjamin: and this website is cancer.

110

descript keeps getting shittier:

I had no idea.

111

It looks like a normal website to me.

112

Benjamin: All right, so our

first question: It's the weekend.

113

What are you most likely

up to pre-COVID anyway?

114

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh, most

likely up to or what I wanna be doing.

115

I'm probably

116

Like doing some light chores.

117

On Sundays I, I like,

Sundays I like to clean.

118

I like to get a bunch of cleaning done

before football if it's that time of year

119

So I'm gonna go ahead and pick that one

120

Benjamin: I'm spending

time with the family

121

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

122

Um

123

Benjamin: All right.

124

Would you consider yourself

a religious person?

125

descript keeps getting shittier: Um,

there's not a no on here notably.

126

Benjamin: I mean, no would be I don't fall

for any of that black magic sick shit.

127

descript keeps getting shittier:

I, I think that's a little

128

more than my feelings on it.

129

I mean, I, I put up a

Christmas tree and stuff.

130

Uh, I'll, I'll do Easter dinners,

so I guess I'm not religious, but

131

I celebrate the major holidays

132

Benjamin: All right.

133

Which quote resonates the most with you?

134

"If you can quote the

rules, you can obey them."

135

was born, grew up, fent-- spent a few

years in the Army, couple more in the

136

can, and here I am, half a wise guy."

137

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, I know who says that.

138

Benjamin: I wish the

Lord would take me now.

139

I'm guessing that's Livia.

140

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

141

Benjamin: You're only as

good as your last envelope.

142

And Madame de Stael, uh, Stael

said, "In life, one must choose

143

between boredom and suffering."

144

I don't like a quote with a quote in it

145

descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, that's,

146

um

147

Benjamin: That's just a,

uh, pedantic framing thing

148

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

149

I don't know.

150

I don't like any of these.

151

Um

152

I guess if I've got a…

153

You haven't said what you're gonna pick

on any of these yet, Ben, by the way

154

Benjamin: I said first one with my family.

155

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

156

Benjamin: last one, uh, was…

157

I forget which the wording was, but I

am a, I am a religious person, uh, so

158

I picked the answer that, that is that

159

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

160

Uh, what are you pi-- what

are you thinking here?

161

Benjamin: This one I'm thinking if you

can quote the rules, you can obey them.

162

That feels the most paladin-y answer,

even though I know these are crime rules.

163

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

164

I'm gonna go with you're only

as good as your last envelope.

165

I don't think it's every- anything I

would ever say or feel, but of all of

166

these things, it's probably the closest

to something I might express at some point

167

Benjamin: I didn't know the Anthrax guy

168

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, did you get a

169

Benjamin: No, it's you're only

as good as your last envelope

170

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, oh,

I, I thought you meant Anthrax the band.

171

Benjamin: no.

172

I'm talking about the guy who was

mailing out envelopes of anthrax in the

173

early 2000s when this show was, was on.

174

descript keeps getting shittier:

Man, things I have not

175

thought about in a long time.

176

Benjamin: I was

177

descript keeps getting shittier:

All right, next

178

Benjamin: thing that

could be in that envelope?

179

Anthrax."

180

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh,

if you could go back and change one

181

thing in your life, what would it be?

182

Uh, I wouldn't have given my parents

so much trouble when I was younger.

183

I would've done things

differently in my career.

184

I wouldn't have settled down so quickly.

185

I'd spend more time with family or

close ones that have since passed away.

186

I would relax a little bit more

and not sweat the small stuff.

187

Nothing, everything happened as intended.

188

Or I would've made different

lifestyle choices, parentheses,

189

drugs, partying, et cetera

190

Benjamin: That's the one you should pick

191

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I disagree, actually.

192

I think everything happened as intended.

193

Uh, I'm a happy person who is very

fortunate to have the people that

194

I have around me in my life, uh,

who's got a moderately successful

195

career, and I feel incredibly blessed.

196

And if any single domino was different,

that probably wouldn't be true.

197

Almost everything that's happened

to me, good or bad, has put me on

198

a direct path to where I currently

am, and I don't want to change that

199

Benjamin: I would have done

things differently with my career.

200

descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, that's fair.

201

Benjamin: It's bad.

202

It's real bad.

203

Uh

204

descript keeps getting shittier:

I'll probably feel the same in

205

about five or six years when AI does

everything, but, you know, until then.

206

Oh, well, actually, no, uh, we'll

see if it's happened by the time this

207

episode airs, but the, uh, the AI bubble

might have popped about two days ago.

208

Benjamin: Oh.

209

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh, yeah.

210

There's some, there's, uh,

been a, uh, a bunch of…

211

I was just talking to, uh, our mutual

friend Shane about this actually, Ben.

212

Uh, there's been a run on Oracle investors

pulling their money out right now

213

Which is how the circular money stops.

214

So we'll see.

215

It'll take time to work its

way through everything, but, uh

216

Benjamin: I don't wanna go through

the fourth major economic collapse

217

since I graduated from college

218

Fudge, man

219

descript keeps getting shittier:

God, what were we…

220

I was, I, I feel like I was out with,

uh, Beth's folks or something, or I

221

think I was talking to her mom, and

I was just like, "Give me some of

222

those precedented times, please."

223

Benjamin: All right.

224

What is your decision-making style?

225

I often put off making decisions.

226

Uh, I trust myself to make

decisions quickly and easily.

227

to take my time and do a thorough

cost-benefit analysis of the

228

options in front of me, Jafeir.

229

Uh, and I prefer to-- that others take the

lead when it comes to calling the shots

230

descript keeps getting shittier: I

used to be a cost-benefit analysis

231

guy, and I found that most of the

time when I did that, I was right

232

with my gut, and I trust myself a

lot more than I did in my youth now.

233

Uh, so I got no problems making decisions

quickly and easily when required.

234

There are times where you do

need to sit down and actually

235

think and plot everything out,

of course, but for the most part

236

Benjamin: I

237

descript keeps getting shittier:

We're there

238

Benjamin: paralysis, so I'm going with

the thorough cost benefit analysis

239

descript keeps getting shittier: All right

240

Something in your house breaks,

what's the first thing you try to do?

241

Fix it on your own, call a professional,

call a friend, try to ignore it if

242

it's not urgent, or throw it and

break something else in the process?

243

I am fixing it on my own.

244

Benjamin: Mm-hmm.

245

descript keeps getting shittier:

I've reno'd entire rooms of

246

my house from the ground up.

247

Uh, I

248

Benjamin: your house best feature

249

descript keeps getting shittier:

Which was?

250

Benjamin: The shower toilet

251

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, well, that was never attached.

252

That was just

253

Benjamin: that was the project,

and you, you decided no

254

It's a full body bidet, Jafer

255

descript keeps getting shittier: The water

wasn't turned on for the shower either.

256

Benjamin: it was a

project you never finished

257

descript keeps getting shittier: Ugh.

258

Uh, yeah.

259

Uh, that one's easy for me.

260

I, uh, I will, I will just handle it.

261

Uh, electrical, plumbing,

whatever, I'm good

262

Benjamin: I will try to fix it, but

normally I try to ignore it first.

263

Uh, like I had a sh- a toilet in

the basement that if you let the

264

water on, would just keep running.

265

The tank would just keep

flowing into the bowl.

266

just used the shutoff, turned it off.

267

When you needed to use the toilet,

you filled it up, use the toilet,

268

and then turned the water off.

269

I didn't just replace the toilet

because Well, I had a bad experience

270

with the toilets in that house.

271

descript keeps getting shittier:

That's fair

272

Benjamin: uh, for anybody at

home who's ever replaced a

273

toilet, normally it's super easy.

274

It's like a 45-minute job.

275

Uh, but this one, the pipe for the

toilet wasn't flush with the, the floor.

276

It was about, uh, uh,

277

descript keeps getting shittier:

It was an inch something.

278

Benjamin: the ground

279

descript keeps getting shittier: Because

the, the shim I ended up building for

280

that toilet at the end of the day,

I believe was out of inch plywood

281

Benjamin: Yes.

282

Uh, and so you had to buy special toilets

that are meant for basements where they

283

stick the pipe up that much so that

it's just above the concrete so that

284

there's something to actually bolt it to.

285

But I didn't know that.

286

I just bought a normal toilet,

not the special expensive

287

'50s basement toilet, 'cause I

288

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

289

Benjamin: was a problem.

290

Uh, so I spent six hours the

weekend before Henry was born

291

trying to install this toilet

knowing this shouldn't be this hard.

292

Um, so I try to ignore

it if it's not urgent.

293

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

294

Benjamin: All

295

descript keeps getting shittier:

at a party…

296

Benjamin: Oh.

297

descript keeps getting shittier: Go ahead

298

Benjamin: At a party, where

most likely to find you

299

Making or serving, uh, or

looking for food or drinks.

300

Singing karaoke alone or with

one or two others, not drawing

301

too much attention to yourself.

302

Texting your friends and

asking for advice on the best

303

excuse to get out of here ASAP.

304

Trying to introduce yourself to the

attractive person across the room.

305

Oh, is there a mirror?

306

the last thing I'd

307

descript keeps getting shittier: No

308

Benjamin: soon is go to a party

309

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I am usually hosting.

310

Benjamin: Yeah

311

descript keeps getting shittier:

like I host more than about half.

312

I think that's probably a fair

number to put on it without

313

actually sitting and counting.

314

Uh, and I am usually making or serving

or looking for food and drinks, 100%.

315

That's, that is what I am preoccupied with

316

Benjamin: If it's the right kind of

party, I am 100% singing karaoke.

317

descript keeps getting shittier: If

it's not the right kind of party,

318

you're still singing anyways, just

without a backing track or TV, so

319

Benjamin: absolutely.

320

Uh, so I'm gonna go with singing karaoke.

321

Uh, singing songs that shouldn't

ever be sang in karaoke.

322

Uh, it's one of my favorite things to do.

323

Uh, one time during the middle of

summer, I sang The Little Drummer Boy.

324

Uh, but it was a college town in

a bar where they serve beer in mop

325

buckets, the crowd was receptive.

326

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I do miss having the, uh, the

327

karaoke bar and doing that, which

was a thing we did for a long time.

328

That was good.

329

All right, what's your biggest fear?

330

Being seen as weak and/or not recognized

for your abilities, going broke, being

331

lied to, dying alone, going to the can,

or the only thing to fear is fear itself

332

Benjamin: Well, as a lactose

intolerant man, it's going to the

333

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

334

Uh, genuinely terrified about dying

alone or just dying in general.

335

So, uh, I'll go ahead and say close enough

336

Benjamin: To be fair,

everyone dies on their own

337

descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, yes, I know.

338

That's, that's the problem actually

339

Well, and that's not true.

340

It could be a car accident

or plane crash or something.

341

Benjamin: I go, I want to go like my

grandma, surrounded by my friends and

342

family, just not in a car this time

343

descript keeps getting shittier:

Ah, all right.

344

If you had to pick one of these as

your theme song, what would you choose?

345

White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane,

Through and Through by The Rolling Stones,

346

Vesuvio by Spaccanapoli, Sally Go Round

These Roses by the Janettes, I'm a Man by

347

Bo Diddley, any song by The Churchills,

or Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

348

Benjamin: None of these.

349

Dear God

350

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh

351

Benjamin: 'Cause we all know

that if we had to pick a theme

352

song, it would be by Rype.

353

descript keeps getting shittier:

It's true.

354

Benjamin: of the, uh,

their song Goon Squad.

355

descript keeps getting shittier:

Having had theme songs, you know,

356

Benjamin: Mm-hmm.

357

descript keeps getting shittier:

we can shout out, uh, Jeremy

358

Siegel's work over on "Who Are You?"

359

Uh, give a shout-out to the Kickstand

Band, who we saw this weekend at

360

the wedding, uh, who did the theme

song for, uh, Draft the Universe.

361

Uh, I'll give a shout-out, uh,

Chingy and the Young Gunners.

362

Uh, "Can't Stop, Won't Stop"

was my theme when I did backyard

363

wrestling.

364

Benjamin: What was the biggest

crowd you had backyard wrestling?

365

descript keeps getting shittier:

It was always just practice,

366

and we filmed it mostly

367

Benjamin: Gotcha.

368

All right.

369

Well, what's your pick here?

370

descript keeps getting shittier: Out

of this list, the obvious winner to me

371

is "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen.

372

Benjamin: Yeah.

373

It was either that…

374

I'm gonna go, since you picked

that one, I'm gonna go Stones.

375

Uh, but I wouldn't pick any of these songs

376

descript keeps getting shittier:

That's fair.

377

Uh, what would you say is your best trait?

378

Empathy, loyalty, thinking and planning

ahead, calm under pressure, I'm always up

379

for a good time, what you see is what you

get, you always know where you stand with

380

me, and my intelligence and/or work ethic

381

Those are very separate things

382

Benjamin: Yeah

383

descript keeps getting shittier: last one.

384

Uh, so I'll take the twofer.

385

Benjamin: Um, I'm going to go

with I'm very calm under pressure

386

descript keeps getting shittier:

That's true, for the most part.

387

Benjamin: Yeah。

388

descript keeps getting shittier: I, I, I,

uh, under real pressure, you're very calm.

389

Benjamin: Yeah, when

390

descript keeps getting shittier:

mild or light pressure,

391

Benjamin: yeah.

392

descript keeps getting shittier: spiral.

393

Benjamin: Yes.

394

You hit a point where I just burst

through the anxiety and I'm like, that

395

is, I've entered the avatar state.

396

Uh, and, uh, you know,

especially like, "Hey, there's

397

a medical emergency going on."

398

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

399

Benjamin: I'm locked in.

400

Uh, if it's just like, "Hey, Ben, there

might be a thing going on tomorrow,"

401

I'm like, "Well, now I'm debilitated."

402

Oh, no.

403

Oh, no.

404

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh.

405

Well, Steve Buscemi's in the show

406

Benjamin: Okay

407

descript keeps getting shittier:

because I got Tony Blundetto

408

Uh, liked, and it's Steve Buscemi clearly.

409

Uh, "Like Tony, you've made some

mistakes when you were younger, and

410

you definitely haven't taken the

most conventional of career paths."

411

True and true.

412

Uh, "You do make an effort

to grow and change, but old

413

dabit- old habits die hard."

414

I find myself unable to argue with this.

415

Benjamin: Yeah

416

descript keeps getting shittier: I

don't know if we'll see Steve Buscemi,

417

but good to know he's in the show

418

Benjamin: So you've heard my visceral

reaction to seeing my answer.

419

Do you have a

420

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

421

Benjamin: I got?

422

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, did you get Mama Soprano?

423

Benjamin: Not that bad.

424

Uh,

425

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay.

426

Okay.

427

Benjamin: Uh,

428

descript keeps getting shittier: ugh.

429

Okay

430

Benjamin: yeah.

431

Uh, Janus Soprano, which I believe is

the like, "Hey, you didn't pick enough

432

of the same things, so we're just…

433

You are the grab bag."

434

so it is, "You are still trying

to figure out who you are."

435

No, I know who I am.

436

Uh, "Sometimes you're unsure

of your own motivations."

437

No, I know my own fa- mo-mo- I know my

motivation, I just don't always like it.

438

Uh

439

descript keeps getting shittier:

If you had picked Born to Run,

440

this wouldn't have happened

441

Benjamin: Yeah.

442

Uh, do you really care about

that person thing or are you

443

just trying to get over the top?

444

Uh, that makes me sound much more

mercenary than I think I actually am.

445

Uh, but

446

descript keeps getting shittier: Agreed.

447

Benjamin: vie

448

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh,

refresh the quiz and give all the same

449

answers, but do change it to Born to Run.

450

I just wanna see if that

changes it real quick

451

Benjamin: Nope, that didn't change it

452

descript keeps getting shittier:

All right.

453

Well, good to know.

454

Benjamin: Yes,

455

descript keeps getting shittier: Janice

456

Benjamin: calm under pressure.

457

Uh,

458

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh, so,

uh, this was the thing I had picked out.

459

What'd you pick out?

460

Benjamin: So I've got a couple of would

you, would you rather questions for you.

461

descript keeps getting shittier: All right

462

Benjamin: Uh, so this is-- I, I

came up with one that I asked,

463

uh, Glorianne over dinner,

464

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

465

Benjamin: as to your answer to it.

466

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

467

Benjamin: Would you rather have, uh, the,

the curse of Cassandra so you are aware

468

of the future but no one believes you?

469

descript keeps getting shittier: Mm-hmm.

470

Benjamin: Or,

471

descript keeps getting shittier: that, so

doesn't matter what the other thing is.

472

Benjamin: or the inverse where you have

no idea of the future, but everyone

473

believes that you can see the future

474

descript keeps getting shittier:

Um, I have predicted a ton of

475

stuff that has actually happened,

uh, historically speaking.

476

And, uh, also I would say it

extends to my taste in music.

477

Uh, I have a tendency of

listening to a song a year before

478

it becomes a one-hit wonder.

479

Uh, Ben, you've been around for a

handful of these over the years.

480

You can testify that that's not bullshit.

481

Benjamin: That's true

482

descript keeps getting shittier:

Um, I just, I don't know.

483

I, I know how to pick them, and

then everything seems to happen.

484

So I, I do believe of these two,

I, I definitely feel a little

485

bit more Curse of Cassandry.

486

In terms of what I would rather

have, uh, the smug sureness of

487

knowing I'm correct, of course.

488

Easy answer

489

Benjamin: Even though no

one will ever believe you

490

descript keeps getting shittier: I

mean, they usually don't, so it's

491

not that much of a change, and

I know I'm right, so that's cool

492

Benjamin: Uh, that's, that's

the true curse of Cassandra.

493

She wasn't just cocky enough

to be like, "Yeah, fuck 'em."

494

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, what was your answer?

495

Benjamin: I, so, uh, Glo really

got introspective about this

496

because the only way to do anything

with the second one requires you

497

to just start lying to people.

498

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

499

Benjamin: Now, if everyone believes,

you know, I can see the future,

500

I can, I can do crazy things to

try and manipulate the world.

501

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

502

Benjamin: it requires me to take action.

503

And this is why I think that's

interesting because the, the Cassandra

504

version of it, uh, the option A,

you can take the passive route.

505

I don't have to tell anybody the future.

506

I don't have to try and

influence the world.

507

I'm not trying to…

508

You know, you don't have to like,

"Well, I'm gonna reverse engineer

509

things, and if everybody b- like,

can't believe me about the future,

510

well, then what happens if I lie?

511

Does everybody automatically,

you know, believe the opposite?

512

Or am, am I Biff Tannen-ing where

it's just like, 'Okay, maybe nobody

513

believes me, but I can bet on all these

sports games and make a ton of money?'"

514

Um, but you don't have to do any of that.

515

For

516

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

517

Benjamin: to make any use of

the second power, you have

518

to go out and lie to people

519

descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, you'll still be wrong though

520

Benjamin: You might be.

521

You just don't

522

descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, well no, because the

523

caveat was you're wrong,

524

Benjamin: No, the caveat

525

descript keeps getting shittier: Every…

526

Benjamin: know the future.

527

descript keeps getting shittier: You

don't know but everyone believes you?

528

Well, then it doesn't matter if

you lie or tell the truth because

529

you're still gonna be right or wrong.

530

Benjamin: Like,

531

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

532

Benjamin: make decisions based off not

just, "I find Jafar persuasive," but,

533

"Jafar is the guy who can see the future."

534

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

535

Benjamin: Uh, they are

making decisions based on

536

descript keeps getting shittier: Why…

537

So, but, but your accuracy,

your, your accuracy is

538

unimpacted by your truthfulness

539

Benjamin: Your accuracy is

unimpacted by, uh, well, by

540

descript keeps getting shittier: Right?

541

Because yeah, you're, you're,

y- so why do you have to lie?

542

You might be right, you might be wrong.

543

There's no reason to, there's no,

like, no ethical reason to lie there

544

Benjamin: No, but in order, like,

if you're making a call that, like,

545

everybody already believes, that's

hard to, like, in any way use

546

descript keeps getting shittier:

different than lying.

547

I, I, I, I, I'm failing to

understand why lying is advantageous

548

with the non-Cassandra thing

549

Benjamin: Uh, lying would be

advantageous because I could be like,

550

like, "Don't vote, vote for that guy.

551

He's going to, you know, do this,

do that, do everything else."

552

And everybody goes, "Oh, I

didn't think he was going to do

553

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay,

so you're actively manipulating people

554

Benjamin: it to actively

manipulate the world

555

descript keeps getting shittier: But

you don't know if you're lying or not.

556

So y-

557

Benjamin: you

558

descript keeps getting shittier:

yeah, but that doesn't…

559

So you're not lying and you're

not telling the truth, you're

560

guessing and everyone believes you.

561

Benjamin: Yes

562

descript keeps getting shittier:

than lying

563

Benjamin: But you know you don't have

the power, which does make it lying

564

descript keeps getting shittier: No.

565

No, you're still guessing.

566

Like, you know, no one

has this power, right?

567

Benjamin: Right.

568

descript keeps getting shittier:

you, y- Well, that's the thing is

569

like, it'd be like this is true of

anything you've ever predicted, Ben.

570

Like, because no one actually

knows if they're right or not

571

Benjamin: But,

572

descript keeps getting shittier: in

the future, there's a 50/50 chance.

573

It either happens or it

574

Benjamin: no.

575

No, fuck

576

descript keeps getting shittier: doesn't.

577

Ah, the long play.

578

All right.

579

Um,

580

Benjamin: All right, this is, this is

the funniest one I found in my search.

581

Uh, you rather poop in the only

toilet at a party, blowing it up and

582

everyone knows it's you, or poop in the

bushes having plausible deniability?

583

Please hurry.

584

Uh,

585

descript keeps getting shittier:

It depends a lot on where I'm

586

Benjamin: Yeah.

587

descript keeps getting shittier: at.

588

Benjamin: My, my gut reaction on that

one, and it is a gut reaction because

589

it's the bathroom, I don't care.

590

Everybody will know I'm not pooping in

the place that doesn't have toilet paper.

591

descript keeps getting shittier:

That's fair.

592

Benjamin: Yeah

593

descript keeps getting shittier: Um,

uh, I mean, I'm definitely nine times

594

out of 10 I'm blowing up that bathroom.

595

I don't, I don't know what the

circumstances would be where I

596

would opt for the bushes, but I will

acknowledge that that seems like

597

a scenario that exists in my mind.

598

I just can't fathom what it would be

599

Benjamin: All right,

next one I have for you.

600

Uh, would you rather be able

to master instantly physical

601

skills or five mental skills?

602

descript keeps getting shittier:

Like what would, which would

603

I prefer to do, be able to do?

604

Benjamin: you get, uh, like you

are given a sheet of paper and you

605

can write down five physical skills

or five mental skills and boom,

606

you are now world-class proficient

607

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh

man, you can do so much more with

608

mental skills than physical skills.

609

Benjamin: True

610

descript keeps getting shittier: 'Cause

it's like I would write down, "Be

611

able to learn a language in two days,"

612

Benjamin: I, it is limited to a

more specific thing, like you'd have

613

to use each line for a language.

614

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, even

615

Benjamin: it's not the

skill to get more skills

616

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, what about stuff that's

617

kind of like in between?

618

Like I would say playing

piano is kind of both

619

Benjamin: So playing piano would

be co- I'd count that as one skill.

620

You can't be play a musical instrument.

621

That

622

descript keeps getting shittier:

well, yeah, no, I'm, but I'm

623

asking is that physical or mental?

624

Benjamin: Uh, ooh,

625

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

626

Yeah.

627

See?

628

Right?

629

Like it's, there's stuff that's

in the middle that's interesting

630

Benjamin: That one I would

consider a physical skill

631

because it requires movement.

632

Uh

633

descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, but I mean…

634

I mean, there, there's definitely

a physical component to it, but

635

it's not solely a physical skill

636

Benjamin: but that's the same of

like fencing or playing football.

637

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

638

Benjamin: This is just the,

the line I've made arbitrarily

639

descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, yeah.

640

Well, I mean, like, okay, so if playing

piano counts as physical, would learning

641

a coding language also count as physical

since you have to type everything?

642

Benjamin: I'm gonna say no because

it doesn't feel the same to me,

643

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

644

Benjamin: it's both hitting keys.

645

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

646

Well, no, this is, these are the questions

I'm asking to, uh, encourage thinking,

647

Benjamin: Yeah

648

descript keeps getting shittier:

necessarily, uh, trying to

649

cheat the rules right now.

650

I'm, I'm exploring the space

651

Benjamin: the point of these kind

of questions without trying to

652

find loopholes and cheat the rules?

653

descript keeps getting shittier:

Fair enough.

654

Um, hmm

655

I feel like I have not had a mental

skill that I have applied myself

656

thoroughly for that I couldn't

get at least proficient at.

657

And there are physical skills,

especially at my advanced age.

658

God, if I didn't tell you, fucking my

junior developer at work said anyone,

659

uh, s- they asked what age elderly starts

at, and he said 35 without thinking

660

Benjamin: That's just wrong

661

descript keeps getting shittier:

I agree wholeheartedly.

662

Everyone else at the table did

as he was openly scoffed at.

663

Listener, he is in his early 20s.

664

So yeah, there are physical skills though

that I've definitely had a hard time.

665

I've experienced the body unable to

keep up with my mind while doing things,

666

particularly like aforementioned fencing.

667

There's definitely been times where

my body was not able to react with the

668

speed that my mind was comprehending the

movements of everything going on around.

669

And so for that, just to, I guess,

compensate for having felt that in the

670

past, I would probably pick physical.

671

But I think the smarter

choice is to pick mental.

672

Benjamin: I would agree, uh, you

know, part of me is just like

673

You know, I could, I could pick something

and just have it instantly, you know,

674

be easy and done, but wouldn't you

rather see me hit a couple of dingers?

675

You know, yeah

676

descript keeps getting shittier: I'd love

to be able to throw a perfect spiral.

677

Benjamin: Yeah.

678

One of my greatest achievements

is throwing a touchdown pass

679

on a college football field.

680

awesome.

681

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

682

Benjamin: All right, last

one I've got for you, and

683

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

684

Benjamin: I've, I've done with

some coworkers at my old job.

685

You are given, uh, the ability that

by committing one crime, no one is

686

ever able to commit that crime again.

687

descript keeps getting shittier: Ooh.

688

You have to commit the crime though?

689

Benjamin: to commit the crime

690

descript keeps getting shittier:

Ooh, fuck.

691

Okay.

692

Benjamin: So

693

descript keeps getting shittier: my

immediate-- my mind immediately at

694

the prompt goes to something heinous,

695

Benjamin: Yeah

696

descript keeps getting shittier:

to stop people from doing,

697

but I have to do it myself.

698

I can't do those heinous things.

699

Um, oh, insider trading.

700

Benjamin: Ah.

701

descript keeps getting shittier: answer.

702

Yeah.

703

Benjamin: actually like that one.

704

All right.

705

Um, yeah, 'cause for a lot of

people it's just like, "All right,

706

well, I'll, like, kinda Dexter it,

and I'll, like, murder a bad guy."

707

Uh, then it's just like, "All right, now

no one can commit murder, uh, you know,

708

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

709

Benjamin: good or ill."

710

Uh, all right.

711

Uh, you know, s- uh, one, uh, you

know, "Hey, I, like, surprised

712

Jafar at his house, throw him in

my trunk, and then drive across

713

the, uh, the Gordie Howe Bridge,

and now no more human trafficking."

714

Uh, um,

715

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

716

I would, he, he, uh, I mean,

like, I don't-- Does that count?

717

Is that innocuous enough?

718

Like, that's the thing is 'cause it's

like, okay, like I'd love to stop

719

those heinous things, but I don't

think I'm gonna be able to commit any

720

of those heinous things that I would

love to stop to be able to stop it.

721

Uh, so, you know

722

Benjamin: up with is speeding

10 miles over the speed limit

723

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, fuck you.

724

Don't take that away from me.

725

Benjamin: Net, it will

probably save more lives

726

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh.

727

Benjamin: murder

728

descript keeps getting shittier: I

mean, you were at the first PowerPoint

729

party I hosted where I fooled everyone

into, uh, the s- setting the universal

730

speed limit to 25 miles per hour

731

Where I was talking about…

732

It was like the…

733

Listener, this was during, uh, COVID.

734

We were bubbled.

735

And, uh, I hosted a Power Pint

party, uh, with the art bubble.

736

And, uh, my, uh, my, my, my whole

speech was about how you have to

737

make a small sacrifice in order

to save lives, and it was all…

738

It was like…

739

And I made it sound like it was about

masking up for, like, 10 minutes before I

740

got booed by everyone I l- hold dear, uh,

as I said, "We just have to drop the speed

741

limit to 25 miles per hour, and we can

stop all traffic-related deaths globally."

742

Benjamin: I,

743

descript keeps getting shittier: All you

are is mildly inconvenienced in traveling

744

twice as long as you would've been

otherwise, three times as long, depending

745

Benjamin: much as some other,

you know, some other options.

746

Uh,

747

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

748

Benjamin: I also enjoy driving,

uh, but that's just 'cause

749

I get my podcast time in.

750

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

751

Well, you'd have twice

as much podcast time

752

Benjamin: Exactly.

753

And it would slow everything

down a bit, which would be nice.

754

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

755

And also just all accidents would

be survivable almost by default

756

Benjamin: I'm not gonna quite go that far.

757

My thought was just, hey, if you get rid

of anybody going 10 miles above the speed

758

limit, you're going to a lot of problems,

like huge difference in residential areas.

759

descript keeps getting shittier: I

mean, how much of it do you have to do?

760

Benjamin: What do you mean?

761

descript keeps getting shittier: Well,

I mean, you could convince me to slam

762

five beers and drive around the block

to stop anyone from drunk driving.

763

Benjamin: That's true, yeah.

764

Uh

765

descript keeps getting shittier:

Does that-- Is that enough

766

drunk driving to count?

767

Benjamin: I think, uh,

768

descript keeps getting shittier: I

stage the scenario where I close the

769

roads ahead of time or something so that

there's no chance of hurting anybody?

770

Benjamin: I

771

descript keeps getting shittier: Like

772

Benjamin: I think you

could even do it easier.

773

You could, uh, call the police

to your house and then try to

774

get behind the wheel while drunk

775

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, okay

776

Benjamin: Then you never even have

to like leave the driveway, but as

777

soon as you turn the ignition, you

are operating under the influence

778

descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, I think actually in our

779

state, sitting in the driver's

seat while intoxicated counts.

780

Benjamin: I believe it

781

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I b- I actually remember quite

782

distinctly, uh, a friend of ours, uh,

having trouble with that once because

783

they were sleeping in their car because

they could not drive home and were drunk

784

in the driver's seat, and that was a

whole thing they had to go through.

785

So you wouldn't even have to,

like, get in the car and move.

786

You just gotta get in the car.

787

You don't even have to turn it on.

788

Uh, if, if that's enough to count.

789

I mean, I'm looking

for, uh, the lines here.

790

If,

791

Benjamin: think

792

descript keeps getting shittier: if, if it

doesn't count unless you, like, get into

793

a car accident drunk or something, so…

794

Oh, you gotta get caught doing the thing?

795

Benjamin: Yeah

796

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, that changes my…

797

Well, eh, Club Fed probably wouldn't

be that bad for insider trading

798

Benjamin: Yeah.

799

Or, uh, invite you over and say, "Hey,

will you help me move these logs for $10?"

800

And you're like, "Yeah."

801

And then I give you $5, and I'm

like, "What you gonna do about it?"

802

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, wage theft?

803

Benjamin: wage theft is now, now

not something that can be done

804

descript keeps getting shittier: The

most common form of theft, listener

805

Benjamin: all other

forms of theft combined.

806

descript keeps getting shittier: Yes

807

Benjamin: All right.

808

Well, that's 40 minutes

of parasocial relationship

809

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

810

Good hang, Ben.

811

Benjamin: Yeah.

812

I was worried we wouldn't have anything

to talk about having spent most of the

813

last weekend together, and we can't

talk about what did you, what have you

814

been up to 'cause we were together.

815

descript keeps getting shittier: Right?

816

Did you like the food at the wedding?

817

Benjamin: literally three

feet to your right of Sunday.

818

descript keeps getting shittier:

Beautiful wedding, though.

819

Uh, did you get to see the

photo that got taken of me

820

towards the end of the evening?

821

Benjamin: I don't think so

822

descript keeps getting shittier: Um,

so they didn't have a flower girl,

823

they had a bubble girl at this wedding

824

Benjamin: was

825

descript keeps getting shittier:

with a bubble wand.

826

And then the couple who, uh, LARPed

together also with Ben and I, um, had a,

827

like, sword and shield, uh, photo shoot as

part of their wedding for a moment there.

828

And so I had the shield and the

bubble wand for about 45 seconds as

829

I was taking props from the photo

shoot back into the reception hall,

830

and I did a, like, little flourish

with the bubble wand and the shield,

831

and it turned into a majestic shot.

832

Uh, so I'll send it to you

when we're done recording

833

Benjamin: Awesome.

834

Make it your, uh, new

profile pic in the Discord

835

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, that's probably a good call.

836

Yeah.

837

Um, I'll, I'll do that.

838

That'll be fun.

839

Benjamin: All

840

descript keeps getting shittier:

All right.

841

Cool, listener.

842

Thanks for joining us.

843

If you made it this far, you probably

like hearing us talk, so you should

844

probably get in the Discord and talk to

us more, 'cause that's fun, and we'll

845

respond to you, and sometimes I'll

be your personal tech support also.

846

Benjamin: That has happened, yep

847

descript keeps getting shittier:

It's happened a couple of

848

times in the last week.

849

Um, Ripe, thanks for doing,

giving us Goon Squad, uh, letting

850

us use it as our theme music.

851

We appreciate the hell out of it.

852

We're looking forward to

seeing you in a couple months.

853

Benjamin: Hell

854

descript keeps getting shittier: Also,

Carly Rae Jepsen just announced tour

855

dates, and she's gotta stop in Detroit.

856

I'm fucking excited.

857

Benjamin: is Rae and the friends

858

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, oh, I missed that one.

859

Okay, we'll talk about that in a moment.

860

Um, and then, uh, yeah.

861

Yeah, if, if you like that.

862

Otherwise, uh, get in the

Discord and tell Victor.

863

Benjamin: Yeah.

864

Give us five stars and then

in parentheses, "When, when

865

Victor's not on the podcast."

866

That won't hurt his mental health at all,

and he w- he won't take it personally.

867

Uh, and we will see you

next time on Last Time On.