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A Quality Life Demands Quality Questions - The Demartini Show
Episode 10429th October 2021 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:26:57

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When you ask yourself uninspiring questions, your life remains just that, uninspiring. When you ask quality questions, your life changes to a life of inspiration. Make your life the amazing life you intend by mastering the art of quality questions. Dr John Demartini breaks down great questions to use in your daily life that will substantially alter your inspiration, productivity and fulfilment.

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Join our Facebook community: demartini.ink/inspired

Mentioned in this episode:

The Breakthrough Experience

For More Information or to book for The Breakthrough Experience visit: demartini.fm/seminar

Transcripts

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That when the voice and the vision on the inside is louder than all opinions on

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the outside, you begin to master your life. And that's so true.

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We just got to look, go inside and ask those questions.

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Unquestionably, when we are conscious of something,

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we're often unconscious of something else.

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There's something that's in our view and something behind the view that's kind

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of vague.

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And so we're looking at something that our attention is put on and we're

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conscious of that,

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but we tend to block out and kind of filter out some of the other details.

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Our values filter our reality, and we don't see everything.

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And unless we ask a question and become cognizant of that which is unconscious,

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we don't become fully conscious.

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So the value of asking quality questions is to make us more fully conscious,

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allow us to see things,

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opportunities and potentials and parts of ourself that we may be

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disowning to help us master our life.

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So let me just start by saying that you have seven areas of

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life and each of those areas of life,

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you have objectives in. In all probability, you're conscious of them,

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but you may not be conscious of all of them.

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You have a desire to go out and create some sort of original ideas that are

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contributing to the world.

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You maybe have a dream to be able to do something that's in some sort of fair

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exchange business.

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You have a dream to be able to have more money at the end of your life than life

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at the end of your money, maybe financial independence.

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You have a desire to have a loving, intimate relationship and family.

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You desire to have some sort of influence in society,

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make some sort of contribution and difference.

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You have a desire to have wellbeing, wellness, attractiveness, beauty.

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And you also have a desire to be inspired.

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And there are two types of questions we can ask ourselves.

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So you may want to write this down,

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that you have questions that lead to polarization and

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dramatization and emotional polarities,

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which are positive feedback loops

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that actually lead you to be into survival.

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You also have negative feedback loop questions that are

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neutralizing,

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not polarizing that lead to inspiration and transcendental awareness that

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allow you to see the balance of life and not be polarized by life.

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And it's the latter,

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the ones that bring neutralization and a negative feedback system that brings

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stability and brings authenticity and brings empowerment.

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Our brain is set up with a nested hierarchy of feedback loops

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that are set up in very massively complex structures that allow

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us to either, when we're in survival and under threat,

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go into polarization to either run towards the prey or run away from the

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predator for fear of starvation or fear of being eaten.

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And we also have those same loops or the more integrated loops

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that are involved in homeostasis and stability and thrival, not survival.

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And those are requiring us to be aware of both sides of life,

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to homeostate us with a negative feedback system to bring us back into balance.

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So we have imbalanced or balanced questions. An imbalanced question is;

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why did this happen to me? And why am I a victim? And you know,

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why can't people stop doing this?

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And they lead you to asking questions that are kind of futile.

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And then you can also ask questions,

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which I have put together in the Demartini Method that I teach at the

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Breakthrough Experience program,

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where you ask questions when somebody does something,

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instead of asking 'why me?' You ask,

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'What specific trait action or inaction do I perceive this individual displaying

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or demonstrating that I dislike or admire most?'

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And prioritize that. Then you go and ask another question,

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'Go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual, pardon me,

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you perceive yourself displaying or demonstrating the same or

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similar specific trait action or inaction, and go on to identify, where was it,

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when was it,

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who was it to and who perceived it?' So you can have reflective awareness and

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see that what you see in them,

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you have in you and you balance the equation between self and other.

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And you have equity, which allows you to stabilize yourself,

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not judge somebody and be grateful.

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And then you can go and ask another question,

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'Go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual displaying or

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demonstrating the specific trait action or inaction that you despise

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or admire most, in this case despise most let's say, and then you go and ask,

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and in that moment, and from that moment until now, how did it serve me?

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Or if it's something you admire, how did it disserve me?

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And bring those back into balance. And those questions bring homeostasis,

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stability and authenticity.

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Because when you're looking up at somebody you're minimizing yourself,

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that's inauthentic. When you're looking down at somebody,

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you're exaggerating yourself, that's inauthentic,

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but when you're looking across somebody and you're seeing it as reflective,

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and you're seeing both sides and you're seeing the positives and negatives,

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the benefits and drawbacks, the advantages disadvantage equally,

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you're not reactive.

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Because anything you infatuate with or resent occupies space and time in your

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mind and creates noise. But when you see both sides,

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you calm down the noise, you become present, you become poised, purposeful,

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patient, prioritized, productive, and powered.

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So those questions,

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those balancing questions make you conscious of information that you're not

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aware of normally that allows you to bring poise and presence.

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And then you ask another question, go to a moment where,

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and when you perceived yourself displaying or demonstrating that same or

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specific trait action or inaction, who did you do it to?

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And how is it a benefit to them? If it was something you resented.

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Or how is it a drawback to them? If it's something you were proud of.

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And that calms down the illusion that you're here to be proud or shamed,

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because those are also part of our facades and false pretenses that we play out.

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When you actually ask questions that bring balance into your own awareness,

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you become equanimitied instead of polarized and you become

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authentic instead of exaggerating and minimizing yourself with personas and

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masks and facades that you wear.

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So the quality of your life's based on the quality of the questions you ask and

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the questions you ask,

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the ones that bring homeostasis and balance and bring

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a negative feedback loop as they call it, a negative feedback system,

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brings stability. And then if you go and ask, okay,

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go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual displaying or

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demonstrating the specific trait action inaction you admire or despise most.

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Now go to a moment where,

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and when you perceive the same individual displaying the opposite trait to

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whoever they displayed it to.

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And you go and find out that the label that you had projected onto them was

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incomplete. And you had a bias perspective and deleted information,

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you were unconscious of some of it. And when you look deeper,

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you find out that they have both sides. Like you do.

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You're not a nice person or a mean person. You're both at different times,

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depending on the situation.

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And you transcend the labels and allow you to appreciate the wholeness of the

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individual and the idea that they have both sides and they're whole that way.

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And you also don't judge them and you get to love that part of you,

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both sides of you. You know,

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you're not going to love yourself if you're trying to get rid of half of

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yourself. You're going to love yourself if you embrace all parts of yourself,

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the same for the world, same for the people around you,

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by asking quality questions, you get to love them.

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I call these questions part of the Demartini Method,

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which I explain in the Breakthrough Experience.

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But those questions were designed to liberate you from the emotional bondage of

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infatuations and resentments, which occupy your mind.

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We've all been highly infatuated, couldn't sleep at night or highly resentful,

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and couldn't sleep at night,

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because our brain has got noise in it from all this stuff that we're running

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around, that we're storing in our subconscious mind

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positive feedback loops, which are questions, Why did they do that to me?

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Why am I, why do they be so mean to me? Those are victim mentality questions,

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and they lead you to disempowerment.

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But if asking questions that balance the thing and bring a reflective awareness,

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you empower your life and liberate yourself and put yourself back into the

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executive center where you have governance on your life

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instead of in the amygdala where you're desiring something that's not obtainable

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and trying to avoid something that's not obtainable and you're in futility.

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Another question that is one that brings equanimity and equilibrium is to

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ask the question that's;

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go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual displaying or

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demonstrating the specific trait, action,

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or inaction that you despise most or like most, admired, despised most.

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At that moment, where are you? When are you?

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What exactly are they doing? What's the content of their actions?

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What's the context of their action? Who are they doing it to?

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And now you ask the question; at that exact moment, exact synchronous moment,

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who's doing the opposite to whoever they're doing it to?

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Reason being is that every perception is a contrast.

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There's a pair of opposites.

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So if all of a sudden you perceive somebody criticizing you,

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you want to be looking at exactly what's in your mind

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that you're imagining that is, if that's painful,

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what's the pleasure of the person praising you to counterbalance it in the mind.

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The mind won't perceive without a contrast.

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So it's basically asking the question that brings balance to the mind and sees

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synchronicity of opposites,

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which makes you realize that everything that's going on is on the way and it's

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actually trying to get you authentic. See if you get puffed up,

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you get criticism to bring you back down. If you get humbled,

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you get praised to lift you up. If you see both of them at the same time,

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it keeps you centered and authentic. And that's what's going on,

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but you're not aware of it because you've subjectively biased yourself and

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you've confirmed only one side and you're conscious one side,

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unconscious of the other side.

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So these asking these questions makes you conscious of both sides.

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And when you're actually able to see both sides instead of reacting,

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you're now act. And that's a balancing act, and that's a homeostasis again,

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and a stability of the mind, a self-governance state, which is mastery.

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And another question is,

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go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual displaying or

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demonstrating a specific trait, action, inaction you admire or despise most,

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and at that moment, if they had done just the opposite,

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what would have been the drawback if they'd done something you despised,

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if they had done the opposite of that?

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And what would be the benefit if they'd done the opposite of the thing you

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admired? And this calms down the fantasies you're comparing your life to,

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and the nightmares that you are trying to avoid in life.

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Because as long as you're not seeing both sides of things,

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you're going to have an imbalanced perspective and

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and you're going to have emotions.

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They're going to weigh you down gravitationally.

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They're going to distract your mind.

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That's why positive feedback loops that cause you to dramatize and

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accentuate and accelerate the emotional drama in

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your life, weighs you down and distracts you from being present,

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but asking quality questions that bring homeostasis and bring balance to the

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mind that allow you to see both sides reflectively,

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liberate the mind from the baggage and give you permission in a sense to do

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something more extraordinary with your life.

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The reason I put the Breakthrough Experience together

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of questions, to help people master their life,

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because anything that you're infatuated with,

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you're blind to the downside of, anything you're resentful,

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you're blind to the upside. So if you ask a question,

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what's the downside of what you're attracted to and what's the upside to what

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you repelled from.

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Instead of being impulsively attracted by the external world or instinctually

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avoiding things by the external world and being run from the external world,

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you're actually able to intrinsically poise yourself, center yourself,

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not be run, stay focused on what your mission is.

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And as a result of that, you're able to focus and be a master of your destiny,

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not victim of your history.

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So the quality of your life is based on the quality of questions you ask,

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and if you want a quality life, it demands quality questions. It's that simple.

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If you want a really masterful life,

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you need to ask questions that bring you mastery.

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That's why I ask people in the Value Determination process,

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which is complimentary on my website, which I hope you go to,

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dr.demartini.com Value Determination process.

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That is a series of questions again. How do you fill your space?

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What do you spend your energy on most? What energizes you most?

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What do you spend your time on most?

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What exactly is where you have the greatest degree of order and organization?

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Where do you spend your money most? What are you thinking about, visualizing,

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and focusing on most? If you focus on exactly that, what are you thinking about,

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talking about most?

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What is it you have as a goal that's most persistent in your life?

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And go look at what it is that you love learning about most.

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If you ask quality questions,

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you will awaken inside your mind an awareness of the

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get to find out what you really value.

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And when you go and focus on what you value most, what's highest on your values,

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you become more objective, more balanced, and you set goals that are obtainable.

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If you set down and go after polarizations and get sidetracked with

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emotions, you go into your amygdala,

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and that's when you tend to set too big a goal in too short a timeframe,

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to humble you, or too small a goal in too long a timeframe to build you.

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And it creates an imbalanced false you.

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That's why it's important to ask quality questions,

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determine what you value most, prioritize your life,

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ask questions that bring homeostasis and balance to your existence.

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In the process of doing that,

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you stabilize your life and do something extraordinary with your life.

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The power you have is enormous.

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And what it is is it's all the disowned parts in your life are what disempower

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you.

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All the unconscious awareness that you're not being fully mindful of is what

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disempowers you and distracts you in life. So again,

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the quality of your life's based on the quality of the questions you're asking.

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Questions that bring homeostasis and balance and equanimity and

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equity and have reflective awareness are the ones that give you liberty,

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give you the path of purpose in life.

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But if you go and ask questions that are victim thinking, why did that happen?

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Why can't I have this? And it's all disempowered states.

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All you do is polarize your emotions, dramatize your life,

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get stuck in emotions that are polarized instead of synthesized.

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And you end up letting the world on the outside run you instead of you on the

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inside. I said on the movie, The Secret 15, 20 years ago almost,

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16 years ago,

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that when the voice and the vision on the inside is louder than all opinions on

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the outside, you begin to master your life. And that's so true.

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We just got to look, go inside and ask those questions.

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And these are the questions. I also found out in many years ago,

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that whenever I came across the question that I asked a client,

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I started accumulating ones that really made a difference in clients' lives.

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And also my own life. I put together a master planning project for myself,

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where I'm asking questions, for instance, economically, you know,

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what are my total assets? What are my total liabilities?

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What is my total net worth?

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What is the exact amount of money I want to live passively on from passive

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investments to have financial independence?

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What is the actual interest rate I can earn on average in my investment

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knowledge with my investment knowledge,

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what exactly is the inflation currently that I'm facing?

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What exactly is the total amount of net worth that I need to give me a passive

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income with that interest rate against that inflation to give me the number that

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I want passively, annually?

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And what exactly is the shortfall compared to my current net worth and what I

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total net worth I need and what exactly is my strategy?

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And what are exactly my game plans and action steps on a daily basis to achieve

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that? What service am I going to provide? And where am I going to invest?

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If I ask quality questions, I move in the direction of financial independence.

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And every area of your life, spiritually, mentally, career, financial, family,

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social and physical,

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have questions that can make you cognizant of how to master that

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area. Those are just a few in the financial area,

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but you can ask the same thing in the relationship area. You know,

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what specifically is my partner's highest values?

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What is their life revolve around? What's most important to them?

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What are they dedicated? What are they inspired by?

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What is most meaningful to them? And how is whatever that is,

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serve me and help me fulfill what I'm most committed to and what's most

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important to me? And then I can turn around and ask, what am I focused on?

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What's most important to me? How does it serve them? If you ask those questions,

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you'll open up a dialogue and you'll empower your relationship on a new level.

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But if you don't and you ask,

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why are they doing what they're doing and why do they keep irritating me?

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You're not going to get anything except a victim mentality.

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It's the quality of the questions you ask that make a difference.

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The same thing in your learning. If you ask, how is whatever I'm studying,

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helping me fulfill what my highest value is?

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How's it helping me fulfill my mission and purpose in life?

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I will absorb the information and retain it and apply the information.

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But if I go, why do I have to keep studying that? Why do I have to do that?

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I don't want to study that. I don't like studying that.

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Why do I have to be doing,

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why are people keep pushing onto me things I don't want?

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If you ask those questions, you stay victim. That's the difference,

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the quality of your life's based on the quality of the questions.

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The same thing socially. What's the cause that I want to dedicate my life to?

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What exactly do I want to lead in life? Exactly who do I want to lead?

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What exactly are my strategies on leadership? And how do I,

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what is it I want as an inspired life? What does it look like?

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What are the action steps on a daily basis I can do to make an inspired life?

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What are the highest priority things I can do to make the biggest service in the

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world today? Quality questions, drive a quality life.

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The same thing in our business.

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What's the highest priority actions I can do today that can serve the greatest

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number of people that produce the most amount of income that allows me with the

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resources I have to do the greatest possible contribution?

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If I ask that question. And when I'm hiring somebody,

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what exactly is the job description I'm going to deliver to these people and

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what exactly is their highest values and how is this job description going to

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help them fulfill that? If they can't see it,

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they're not going to be engaged and I'll have to micromanage them.

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So asking quality questions is really what life's about.

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And if you can learn to ask masterful questions,

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which I gave you just some of them right now,

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be amazed what you can accomplish in your life.

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So the Demartini Method is a series of quality questions. It's a science,

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it's reproducible, it's duplicatable, it's translatable, transferable,

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transcribable, and it works in every culture that we brought it to.

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And it allows people to liberate themselves from the

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carry around that's robbing them of the magnificence of who they are.

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And it's basically allowing them to see the hidden order in the apparent chaos.

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And that's the kind of questions you want to fill your day with.

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Quality questions that liberate you from emotional drains and frustrations that

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you face in life because of your perceptions. You know,

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if we've got a subjective bias and we see drawbacks without benefits,

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we're going to think things are terrible. And if we don't ask,

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so how has that thing that I think is terrible,

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how is it a great opportunity right now? You know,

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we've all had events in our life that we thought were terrible. And then a day,

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a week, a month, a year or five years later, it turned out to be great,

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turned out to be a great gift that we didn't see initially.

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But why have the wisdom of the ages with the aging process,

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we can go and find the wisdom of the ages with the right questions and become

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cognizant right now on the moment of the benefits, and see how it's on the way,

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not in the way.

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And so we can take terrible and put the terrific back together and make

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something that's actually amazing in our life out of it.

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And the same thing when we think, we think, 'oh my God, I got a new house.

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I'm so happy.

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We got it.' And then we're not looking at what are the actual hidden costs are

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going to be involved in and the challenges you're going to face.

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When you're unconscious of both sides, you're in a subjective bias.

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You're going to be emotionally reactive.

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You're going to be run from the external misperceptions.

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They're going to run your life, hold you back.

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And you're going to be run by the external reality that you've got.

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And you've created it because you didn't ask the quality questions to balance

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your mind, homeostate your stability,

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and increase your focus on what's really meaningful and objective in your life.

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Objectivity means neutral minded. When you're neutral minded,

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you're more resilient. You're more adaptable. You're more focused.

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When you're highly polarized,

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you fear the loss of that which you seek and you fear of the gain of that which

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you resent and try to avoid.

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But when you're actually centered and grateful and loving and inspired by

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something and enthusiastically working on it,

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and you're certain and you're present on it and you're transcendentally focused.

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And you ask questions that lead to that outcome,

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which is what the Demartini Method in the Breakthrough Experience is about.

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And why I have people, ask them to determine their highest values,

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because that's how you live when you live by highest values,

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you live more that way, those questions can change form your life.

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So the purpose of this presentation today was to to

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remind you of those questions that you can ask yourself and change your life by.

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You can sit there and go and watch television,

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get distracted by social medias and social you know,

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sensationalism of the highly polarized state and watch the extremes out there

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and get emotional about it and let it run your life.

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Or you can fill your mind with the highest priority actions,

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the highest priority perceptions, highest priority reading,

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highest probably content, highest priority service,

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and ask questions on what those are and get focused on doing something that

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makes a difference in life.

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I would much rather do that and fill my day with something deeply meaningful.

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The meaningful means the mean, the mean is the center.

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The pairs of opposites are joined.

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And that's why when you're conscious of one and unconscious of the other,

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your intuition is trying to bring you conscious of both.

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Your intuition is trying to take emotional baggage and trying to turn it into

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something meaningful, extracting meaning out of your existential existence.

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By helping you see both sides of life. That's what mindful is.

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And only seeing one side is mindless. I want you mindful.

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I want you focused and empowered and realize that everything has two sides

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in life and to embrace them and to realize that you don't need one sidedness.

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The search for that which is unavailable, one side.

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And the avoidance of that which is unavoidable is the source of all the

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suffering and the passionate frenzies of the animal nature that we have inside

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us from our subcortical areas of the brain, give yourself permission to lead,

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give yourself permission to be the master,

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give yourself permission to ask quality questions that lead you to an incredible

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life. It's available to you by asking those questions.

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And start keeping an inventory of those questions.

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Come to the Breakthrough Experience and learn how to get the Demartini Method.

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That's a series of quality questions, I guarantee you.

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Go and do the Value Determination, another set of quality questions.

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All of them will help you in your life and empower your life.

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And in addition to helping you do that and to help you balance out the emotions

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for this greater achievement state that you deserve, and to be more masterful,

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I got a special class really for that objective.

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A special masterclass, it's free. Please take advantage of it.

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It will help you get those questions.

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I just want to thank you for taking the time out of your schedule,

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to fill your mind with ideas that could help you explore the possibilities of

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your great potential that you have,

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to do something masterful and amazing on the planet. So until next week,

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this is Dr. Demartini signing out.

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Please take advantage of this free masterclass and

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your emotions and have homeostasis and inspiration in life.

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And don't let the world on the outside,

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interfere with the vision and the dream and you have on the inside.

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I'll see next week, take advantage of the class.

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Hopefully see you at the Breakthrough Experience,

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so I can teach you more about these great questions. See you then.

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