Healing from trauma, childhood grief, miscarriage, and generational pain starts with one step: choosing yourself. In this powerful episode of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski talks with life coach Vivian Moyo about healing trauma, the impact of losing a parent young, how silence in families creates emotional wounds, and how choosing yourself becomes an act of self-love. Vivian shares her story of childhood loss, two devastating miscarriages, and the moment she began her healing journey. If you’re navigating midlife trauma, divorce recovery, grief, anxiety, or a major life change, this conversation will help you feel seen, supported, and hopeful.

In this episode, we talk about trauma healing, generational trauma, grief recovery, and how to choose yourself when life feels heavy. Vivian’s message is a reminder that healing is possible—and midlife is not your crisis, it’s your comeback.

🎧 Listen now and share this with a woman who needs encouragement today.

In this episode, we talk about trauma healing, generational trauma, grief recovery, and how to choose yourself when life feels heavy. Vivian’s message is a reminder that healing is possible—and midlife is not your crisis, it’s your comeback.

🎧 Listen now and share this with a woman who needs encouragement today.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome + technical difficulties + introducing life coach Vivian Moyo

(02:10) Vivian’s background: born in Zimbabwe, now living in London

(04:20) Losing her mother at age three and having no memory of her

(07:10) The trauma of family silence and not knowing how her mother died

(10:35) Why children need truth, support, and emotional safety

(13:50) Generational trauma and how pain gets passed down

(16:30) Moving to the UK at 11 and feeling different within the family

(20:05) Miscarriage and heartbreak: losing her first pregnancy at five months

(22:45) Losing a second pregnancy at five months and reaching a breaking point

(25:30) Suicidal thoughts and the “still voice” that changed everything

(28:10) Vivian’s calling: helping young girls build confidence and self-worth

(31:10) Supporting women through domestic abuse and trauma recovery

(33:45) Vivian’s upcoming book: The Invisible Girl (launching in June)

(36:10) One powerful tip for self-love: “Choose yourself”

(38:05) Final encouragement + how to connect with Vivian

Key Takeaways:

1. Trauma can start early, and silence often deepens the wound
2. Generational trauma is real, but healing can break the cycle
3. Grief and miscarriage loss can create deep emotional pain, but recovery is possible
4. Healing often begins when we choose support, truth, and self-compassion
5. “Choosing yourself” is one of the strongest acts of self-love and boundary-setting

Guest Bio:

Vivian Moyo is a London-based life coach, speaker, and founder of women-focused healing initiatives supporting survivors of trauma and domestic abuse. Born in Zimbabwe, Vivian has transformed her personal journey of loss and resilience into a mission to help women heal, build confidence, and reclaim their lives. She is the author of the upcoming book The Invisible Girl, launching in June.

Resource Links:

Vivian:

Youtube Channel : https://www.youtube.com/@MoyoWellnessTherapy

TikTok : www.tiktok.com/@moyowellnesstherapypods

Instagram : @moyowellnesstherapy

Website : https://moyowellnesstherapy.com/

E: moyowellnesstherapy@gmail.com

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Tags/Keywords:

trauma healing, childhood trauma, generational trauma, miscarriage healing, grief recovery, healing after loss, women’s healing, midlife healing, choosing yourself, self love for women, emotional healing, boundary setting, domestic abuse recovery, life coach for women, healing journey, divorce recovery, midlife comeback, Doing Life Different podcast, Lesa Koski, Vivian Moyo, anxiety healing, faith and healing, healing in midlife

Welcome listeners.

2

I am so excited to have you here today

and I do have a guest, but it just

3

doesn't look like it 'cause we're having

some little technical difficulties.

4

But we're gonna do our best because

we think you can hear her voice.

5

I have the lovely Miss Vivian.

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Moyo, did I say it?

7

Vivian?

8

Say your last name because I

just got nervous and afraid

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I was gonna say it right.

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Speaker 2: You were doing so well.

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How do you say your last name?

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Uh, it's Vivian Moyo.

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Moyo.

14

Moyo?

15

Yeah.

16

Moyo.

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, I get people calling

me all sorts of stuff.

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So you were doing absolutely fine.

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All right.

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Speaker: Well, listeners, we're gonna

stick with Vivian's pronunciation of,

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of her name, but she's a, a Darlene,

um, life coach that's here and she's

22

going to share her authentic story,

which I think you'll find very moving.

23

She's been through a lot of

hard things and she's, you know.

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Learning how to help people

through what she went through.

25

And so we're gonna start by getting

to know what she's been through her

26

story, and then we're gonna learn how

she's helping people deal with trauma.

27

So whether you have big trauma

or little trauma, this is a great

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episode for you to listen to.

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So, Vivian, welcome to Doing Life

Different, and would you, well

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first of all, let us know where

you are, where are you located?

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You've got a beautiful accent.

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Speaker 2: I am based in the uk, London,

but I was actually born in Zimbabwe

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and I came in the UK at the age of

11, so that's why you're probably hear

34

hearing a little bit of an accent,

but I'm literally based in the uk.

35

Speaker: Well, it's beautiful.

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Your voice is beautiful.

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So that's important for a coach, right?

38

We're shooting.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what the funny

thing I get with people, whether that

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is guys, whether that is females,

like everybody says Vivian, there

41

is something about your voice,

like your voice brings something.

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I don't know what it is

particularly guys like.

43

They go crazy with my

voice and then I'm like.

44

Are they talking about the same person?

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Because I don't know what you mean.

46

You know, when you're hearing yourself

it's a little bit different mm-hmm.

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Than what people are hearing.

48

Yeah.

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So it is funny that, it's funny

that you said that as well.

50

I get that a lot about my voice,

but I feel like I sound like a, a

51

mouse or a cat when I'm talking.

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I'm not understanding what

people are, are, are getting.

53

So I guess, um, I guess it's a win

situation for people as well, since

54

they think my voice is lovely.

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Speaker: Yeah, I think it is because, um,

I think it's probably part of your healing

56

and I know that, and you're gonna get

into your story, but I know that you've

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said you have, since a small child felt

drawn to healing, and I think that maybe

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is just coming through in your voice.

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So would you mind, Vivian,

sharing your story?

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Speaker 2: Definitely.

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And I wanna say thank you,

Tess, for having me today.

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And you look beautiful as ever.

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Thank you.

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Uh, so thank you so much and you're

doing absolutely amazing with your

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show, so keep it up like, and I'm

grateful to be here with you today,

66

so thank you so much for that.

67

Speaker: You bet.

68

We're glad to have you.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Okay, where do I start?

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Um, I had to write a book

about my story and healing.

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Yeah.

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And I'm so excited because it's

gonna be launched in June because

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so many things has happened.

75

Um, I know I sound young, but I'm

a lot more older than our sound,

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so I'll just summarize it because

we'll be here literally till.

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27 because it's a long story.

78

So I'm just gonna summarize, um.

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I was born in Zimbabwe,

um, which is Africa.

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Um, and um, I was born, uh,

straight away when I was born,

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um, when I was three years old.

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Unfortunately, my mother passed away,

so I never got to bond with my mom.

83

Three years is very young to even remember

her smell, her touch, how she looked like.

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And so the only like memories

I have of my mom is basically

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through, through pictures, basically

looking through her pictures.

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But even in the pictures, she almost

feels like a stranger because I don't,

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I don't remember her in that way.

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You know, when you look at

somebody through pictures, you're

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like, oh yeah, that is my mom.

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Right?

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But seeing my mom in pictures, it's still

a struggle for me to kind of like identify

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that as my mom, but she is my mom.

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So that would, let me ask

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Speaker: you, Vivian, I'm just curious

because I'm just trying to think like I

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do, and some of 'em are around trauma.

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I do have some like

early memories of my mom.

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Um, do you have those memories?

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Maybe not the picture of her

face, but maybe the feeling or

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any, um, any memories at all?

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Speaker 2: None whatsoever.

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No, that's what I mean.

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It, it feels weird, but I

don't remember her touch.

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I don't remember her smile.

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I don't remember her giggle.

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Um, I don't remember her voice even.

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'cause you know, as a child, like

you would remember your mom's voice.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, I don't remember my mom's voice.

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I have absolutely no memory.

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All I know is I had a mom, but I never

had that relationship with her whatsoever.

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And the worst part

about that is back home.

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I feel like, um, um, I'm from Africa,

so back home I feel like African

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families, they try to protect you

and not really say a lot about.

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You about what has happened.

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'cause in their eyes, you're too

young, you don't need to know too much.

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Um, and so the trouble with that is I feel

like my family protected me too much that

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I never really feel like I got the closure

that I needed to know about my mom because

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it almost felt like she never existed.

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It almost felt like nobody.

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Wanted to talk about my mom.

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Mm-hmm.

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Even when I wanted to ask questions,

so, you know, who's my mom?

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Who's my dad?

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What does she like?

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It almost felt like that was something,

you know, like a forbidden, a, a

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forbidden fruit that you cannot touch.

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So it almost felt like it was a forbidden

conversation that I almost felt scared

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to even ask about my mom because

nobody there to even talk about her.

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So you can imagine, I feel like

that's what made it harder for

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me not to even remember her.

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Speaker: Well, let for our listeners,

I just kind of wanna, because I

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feel like there's a lesson in that,

you know, just what you're saying.

133

And I have a good friend who lost her mom

at about the same age, um, from cancer.

134

And, um, I don't know if your

mom's death was traumatic.

135

I don't, I don't know anything about it.

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But So what you are

saying is for children.

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It's probably a really good idea,

even if it's hard to talk about,

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so that memory stays alive.

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Am I hearing that right?

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Speaker 2: Yes, uh, definitely.

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And I feel like no matter how painful

it is till today, Tessa, I don't think

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I can even tell you what she died off.

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It still doesn't really.

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Yeah.

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And I am like, I don't wanna disclose my

age, but I am as old as you can imagine.

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So I am not in my twenties

or in my thirties, so you can

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probably guess like my age by now.

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Mm-hmm.

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But nobody till today.

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I don't know.

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I'm still guessing.

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I, I, I don't even know.

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What she died of.

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Was it cancer?

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Was it aids?

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All I know is that she, she was

very pain, like she was very, very

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sick and she was in so much pain.

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But to what that was, I don't know.

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And I feel like it's unfair because

imagine if, let's say similar

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situation started to happen to me, God

forbid, that is not gonna be my case.

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But let's just say,

how would we know that?

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That is the same thing.

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And how would we be able to prevent

it if nobody wants to talk about it.

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Speaker: Right.

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And that, that's interesting.

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And I also, my baby girl is

adopted and so you do, like,

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you wonder about the genetics.

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Right.

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And so we did, we were able to

do a genetic test to see like

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what kind of things she might, is

that what you're talking about?

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Kind of like.

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But, but here's the thing.

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Not everybody can afford or has the

opportunity to get a genetic test, so

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that's not gonna work for everyone.

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But yeah, you don't know.

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You don't know your

roots on a lot of things.

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And part of that is health related.

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Speaker 2: Exactly.

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And so not necessarily

even a genetic test.

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'cause I, I did do one.

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You did, but it doesn't, but

it doesn't tell you exactly.

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It gives you a broader, it goes back to

your ancestors if more than anything.

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It doesn't tell you specific, like this

is the situation, but I'm talking about

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like, I feel like once something happens.

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To a child, I feel like parents

shouldn't feel shy to, or parents

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or caregivers, shouldn't feel shy to

explain to the child what has happened.

187

Mm-hmm.

188

So for me, nobody was brave enough

to sit down with me and say,

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Vivian, like you are of age now.

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Your mom died of three.

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The reason why she died was because maybe.

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It was AIDS or maybe it was

cancer or whatever it was.

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She, she died of it and she,

she, she really tried her very

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best to fight for her life.

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And, but unfortunately, right,

like, do you know what I mean?

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Rather than leaving the child, that's

also adding so much trauma to the

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child because she doesn't know.

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Like she really has no clue.

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And I feel like it's important.

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Even if you as a parent or as a caregiver,

you are not able to give the advice,

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take the child for therapy because

the child has, has been traumatized.

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She has no mom.

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Do you know what I mean?

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And to top it up, I mean, mm-hmm.

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And to top it up, I had no father.

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My father was never in the picture.

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So already that's the second

trauma mom dying while I was three.

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Growing up knowing that I had

a mom not knowing who she was.

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Mm-hmm.

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That also was traumatizing, but

also knowing that I had a dad

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and not knowing who my dad was.

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Again, not having my family support me in

the way that I needed to feel that closure

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as in like, these are your parents.

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This is what happened.

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It was secrets upon secrets.

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Mm-hmm.

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So how am I supposed to heal from that?

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Speaker: Right.

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So the, so you've had a couple

other things later on in life.

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So I kind of wanna get to, so you're

kind of, you're going through life and

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you're carrying this trauma and you

know, a lot of us have traumas, but

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you're carrying it and they're big ones.

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And then.

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And then, and then what happened?

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What, what other things were happening?

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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So, and then obviously that happened

and I was raised by my grandmother

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and she was like the closest

thing that I know as a mother.

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And she was the only person I feel like

till this day gave me so much love.

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Honestly.

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She spoke me, she treated

me like I was a princess.

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Anyway, she made sure that before

she died I was in a safe space.

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I was all looked.

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After.

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So then that's when I came

to the UK at the age of 11.

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So again, I lived with my caregivers,

my uncle who did her very best to make

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sure that I had everything that I needed.

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You know, sometimes we feel like

because this person has lost something.

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All, all, all that they need is

the safety net, and they forget

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that they need more than just that.

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So then it also still, that trauma still

lingers because you're not being given

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the love that you probably would've

been given by your mom if she was there

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or you're not being given the same.

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Love that maybe your father was

there, would've given you, like

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you are still feeling like there's

something missing within yourself.

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So it's not anything that

they did or they didn't do.

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It was the fact that.

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Already, nobody explained

to me what was going on.

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So already I felt weird.

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I felt like I wasn't enough.

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I felt like I was a mistake.

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I always felt like this emptiness.

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So being around my, my uncle and

their, and the way they treated

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their children, it seemed very

different to how I was treated.

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And so that made me feel like,

oh, okay, again, is this safe?

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Because why is it that they're

being given this type of

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attention or this type of love?

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And then I am not So as much as

they tried to, you know, be there

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for me, it just wasn't enough.

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Speaker: Okay, so there's that.

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There's a lot in what you just said

and I think I'm thinking that I, when

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you talk about your grandma, ugh,

I am a grandma and I have grandmas.

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Don't look care.

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You don't care.

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Oh, thank you.

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No, I'm, and I had grandmas that I was

so connected with, so deeply connected

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with and a great and great grandma too.

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And um, I can imagine that was pretty

traumatic to leave her loving arms.

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And then to be brought into

this family when you're 11

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that has children of their own.

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But I can't help but wonder, um, if

as you're speaking, I think about

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children who go through adoption

and I think about my baby, like.

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There's trauma in that.

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Probably even if like she was

two days old when we adopted her.

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Speaker 2: Oh

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Speaker: yeah.

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So even if though, you bring them in and

you love them and they, and I will say,

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and I don't know if it was that baby

stage, but it was like I forgot that I

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didn't give birth to her all the time.

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That's how it was.

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And I think that was such a blessing.

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Um, but you know, I think it's

been a healing journey for her too.

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And we have discovered things about

her family and there are things we

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won't know, but I've tried to help

her with that and, and tried to

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let her know that she was loved.

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So I hope that you know that your

birth mom loved you very, very much.

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Um, and I hope people have told you that.

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Speaker 2: So here's the thing.

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Nobody has told me that.

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Ugh, I am.

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This is the first time I'm hearing this.

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I kid you not.

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Like I said, in my family, in my

family, it felt like a taboo to

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mention anything about Vivian's mom.

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To the point where they continued

with that secret that they forgot

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to tell me the most important thing.

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And thank you for saying that to

me because nobody has said that.

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I know she did.

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Mm-hmm.

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But nobody in my family said that.

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Wow.

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Because I guess in, in their minds,

I was very young to even understand.

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Speaker: Mm-hmm.

304

Everybody needs to know

that their mom loves them.

305

You know?

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I think, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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So thank you for that.

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Because nobody, yes, nobody, nobody.

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Nobody said till today.

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Till today.

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That is, nobody has said it.

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Speaker: Interesting.

314

That's really my question

315

Speaker 2: for you is what do you

think is happening to my family?

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Why they feel like they were not able to

tell me or even protect me in the way that

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they thought there was they were doing.

318

Speaker: Yeah.

319

So it's funny because when you were

telling that story, I thought of

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a situation with someone that's

like related in the family, and

321

I remember it's a little bit

different, but kind of the same.

322

Um.

323

There, the, the daughter was in a

daycare and there was some like sexual

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abuse stuff that had happened in that

daycare, and the daughter had come to

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her mom and told her that something had

happened and her mom kind of panicked

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and just didn't have the tools right.

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And looked at her and said.

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Well, you just stop that now.

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We're not even gonna talk about that.

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That's over.

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It's done.

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It's fine.

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You know, like she didn't, she just

wanted, she, you know how people think if

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we don't talk about it, it will go away.

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Or people just like with our feelings,

how we don't feel our feelings.

336

So I think your family, yeah, they

didn't mean to hurt you, but they didn't,

337

they just thought, we're gonna bury

this because it's gonna be painful.

338

They didn't see that telling you that

your mom, mama loved you so much.

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They saw it as hurt because it was a

memory and they would remember and it hurt

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them and it was hard to feel and it would

hurt you because you had missed that.

341

So they didn't get that.

342

You needed to know that, I think.

343

Is that what you were asking?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

345

And then I guess maybe based on maybe.

346

Because I feel like as well, um,

this is my take as well, I feel

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like, um, people will treat you

based on what they have been given.

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So I'm a firm, I'm a firm believer

of a generational person where I feel

349

like a lot of the traumas are passed on

through generations, upon generations.

350

And I feel like a lot of the

traumas, again, are passed on

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through our ancestral as well.

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So what happens is if, let's

say my grand grandparents went.

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Through a trauma and they're

never dealt with that trauma.

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When they come in and they begin to raise

their children, they're not going to know

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what to do to the children that feels safe

for the children because they were never

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given that same type of safety or love.

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Not to say they don't love the

children, it is just that they.

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Don't know how to, because

they were not given that.

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And so again, because it's a trauma that

has been passed on, if let's say the

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grandparents now have other children,

it's just gonna be a pattern, right?

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Because nobody has found

a way to heal from that.

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So.

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To them, it becomes a normal thing.

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And I feel like with my family,

maybe they felt like it was a normal

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thing not to say anything to me.

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Yes.

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Not because they didn't wanna hurt,

not because they wanted to hurt me.

368

Right.

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But because they just don't

understand what has happened.

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They don't even know that

I've gone through trauma.

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They don't

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Speaker: even have the tools to know

that it would be helpful to you.

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But the good news is.

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You can heal that.

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Speaker 2: Exactly.

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Speaker: You know, and that's like

kind of the thing, like, I just

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want everyone, that's why I do this.

378

You know?

379

I want people to know you can

feel better and you can heal.

380

And yes, there are gonna be

troubles, um, but we can be better

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prepared for them and we can heal.

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And so when did you begin

your healing journey, Vivian?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so my healing journey.

384

You know how, you know the

saying where they say it will

385

get worse before it gets better?

386

Mm-hmm.

387

So by the time I was 17, I decided

I needed to leave my caregivers

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to find my way because I needed

to find who I was as a person who

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is vegan, like who am I really?

390

And so.

391

I left at 17 and then I thought, oh my

gosh, like I'm gonna finally be happy.

392

I'm gonna finally have my own family.

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I'm gonna create my own,

my own tribe, basically.

394

So I left and then I.

395

Was put in a hostel where I was

able to meet amazing people who

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took me in as their family, meaning

friends and stuff like that.

397

And then obviously I fell in

love at the age of 18 years old.

398

And um, the guy was amazing.

399

And obviously I fell pregnant, and then

when I fell pregnant I was so excited.

400

It was like the best news ever.

401

Something of my own, my own child.

402

I'll do better.

403

I'll be there and I'll love that child.

404

Unfortunately, when I was five

months pregnant, I had a miscarriage.

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Speaker: Hmm.

406

That's far along too.

407

Hmm.

408

Speaker 2: Yeah.

409

And so that was another trauma

because in my mind I'm like, oh my

410

gosh, I'm finally going to heal.

411

I'm, I'm gonna, 'cause you know,

sometimes when you're, when you've

412

grown up in a household where you

feel like that's where pain is, where

413

you feel like, let me escape that

household and find my own space, I'll

414

find my own healing, not realizing.

415

Yeah, it's, it's, it, it wasn't like that.

416

And then again left that relationship.

417

And then the next few months

again, got pregnant again.

418

Second time at this point, I was 21

years old, so the first one was 18.

419

Um, and I knew what I was having as well.

420

And then the second one was, um,

when I was 21, again, the same

421

thing happened at five months.

422

Another miscarriage

423

Speaker: two.

424

So two miscarriages.

425

Yeah.

426

Trauma from, and is that when you

started to heal because you felt Yeah.

427

Speaker 2: It.

428

I'm, I'm summarizing it.

429

So I started, uh, so obviously

already I've lost my, I I, I

430

didn't have my father around.

431

I've lost my grandfather, my

grandmother by either way already

432

when, when I was already in, in London.

433

Um, I've lost my mom at three years

old and then I've lost two children.

434

So that was a.

435

Big, big.

436

That was already like hard.

437

And again, at that time I didn't

know that I was going through trauma.

438

I knew something was not right with

me, but because I never had the

439

support, I never had the support

system of where people were like, even

440

actually, you need to go for therapy.

441

Even actually, you need

this, you need that.

442

Like nobody nev, nobody around me

told me that something that I needed.

443

Otherwise I would've done that

before getting even pregnant at 18.

444

That would've been the first

thing that I would've done.

445

Right.

446

But nobody, nobody's told me that.

447

But also I feel like a lot of children

that have gone through trauma, they find

448

a survival, a survival thing that they

do where they don't feel any emotions.

449

As a survival mechanism, not because

they don't want to, but because

450

they're trying to survive already.

451

So the best thing sometimes for

children growing up who have been

452

through trauma, they numb the pain

and they pretend nothing has happened.

453

Mm-hmm.

454

And so it takes ages for you to begin

to realize that something has happened.

455

Speaker: Yes.

456

So, so tell me.

457

What, when did you begin your

healing journey and become a coach?

458

And

459

Speaker 2: I began my healing journey,

I think after my second miscarriage.

460

Um, that was a time where

I wanted to take my life.

461

I had enough of life.

462

I literally thought of like suicide.

463

Um, and the moment I was about

to do what I was going to do,

464

I had that still voice of like.

465

Um, I call it the voice of God, where

he was like, Vivian, you don't need to

466

do anything that you're going to do.

467

I've called you for something greater.

468

You know, everything that you've been

through is something that is going

469

to save the world, like, you know.

470

I'm here for you.

471

And then that moment I was

like, okay, there's something

472

more that I needed to do.

473

But fast forward that even, even going

through what I was going through, I've

474

always had people coming to me for advice.

475

Always, like in the midst of all that

pain, I would always have strangers coming

476

to me, talking to me about their problems.

477

So that's when I knew there was

something that I needed to do.

478

But because I was trying to figure

out what it is, what was wrong with

479

me, because I didn't understand what

was wrong with me, why am I always

480

losing important people in my life?

481

Mm-hmm.

482

Why am I always losing things or why?

483

Why are people always leaving me?

484

Clearly there's something wrong, but.

485

Regardless of me trying

to figure that out.

486

They, even when I was like 17 in

school, people would always come to me

487

and talk to me about their problems.

488

That's when I knew that I was

supposed to be a life coach.

489

That's when I knew, yeah.

490

Go.

491

Speaker: Yeah.

492

Okay.

493

So you, so you, you go through

your, your second miscarriage, and

494

then you start to get some help.

495

Yeah.

496

And then you become, you actually

become the person doing the helping.

497

Speaker 2: Exactly.

498

Like I said, my story is so

long is so, so, so, so, so long.

499

And then I think for me is when I started

going into schools and actually helping

500

young girls really love themselves and

help them to find their confidence, that's

501

when I then realized that life coaching

was something that I wanted to do.

502

Mm-hmm.

503

Those little girls reminded of.

504

Reminded me of me growing

up when I had nobody.

505

So I vowed that I was gonna be the one

to help those little girls grow up and

506

love themselves and not deal with the

pain or the traumas that I went through.

507

And then, so it started off

with, uh, helping the little

508

girls and then eventually I

realized that it was actually.

509

Elder women that I was called to

help, like the women, the younger

510

girls were like the starting point.

511

I went to schools, did what I did,

and then afterwards I realized that

512

actually older women, they click a lot

more better with me in terms of like

513

the understanding, the connection, it's

a lot more easier and it's relatable,

514

and so that's when I went into having.

515

My first charity organization called

Safe Haven Women's Organization,

516

where I was helping women that have

been through domestic abuse and

517

violence and helping them get back

into training education, whether it

518

is businesses that they wanted to do.

519

And then from then that's when

I was, okay, this is my thing,

520

because it helped a lot of women.

521

And then from then it went

on to being like working with

522

individual people as well alongside

the group charity that I was.

523

Doing.

524

And then from then it was like,

okay, let's have a podcast about, you

525

know, healing and stuff like that.

526

And that's why I've got

the, my wellness therapy.

527

So my wellness therapy is the

life coaching services that

528

I'm doing alongside my, um.

529

Brain.

530

And then from then it's like,

okay, we have a book like this.

531

My story is so long, let's turn my

book into a self, uh, a self-help

532

book that will help other people

heal from their traumas and

533

that will help them really see.

534

So the book is like

wanting somebody to see.

535

Themselves in me and be relatable.

536

So the book is called The Invisible Girl,

um, because I've always felt invisible

537

and, um, it's gonna help people with

their healing traumas and stuff like that.

538

So yeah, that's literally

just the summary.

539

Love.

540

I

541

Speaker: love this.

542

I love learning about you and I

think we'll have to have you back

543

on in June when that book comes out.

544

And I just wanna say, so I love your

heart and I feel like a connection with

545

you because you know, you, when you

were talking about going into schools

546

and working with those little girls

so that they really love themselves.

547

That's what, that's the feeling

that I have for women my age.

548

Right?

549

Like I just feel like I just want you

to love yourself and so we are like

550

getting a little bit going over time.

551

Wanna ask you, I know like we don't

have a ton of time left, but what

552

would be like one quick little tip

to help a woman love themself more?

553

Speaker 2: I would say

choosing themselves.

554

Speaker: Say more about that.

555

Speaker 2: So in order, so if

you, um, choosing yourself means

556

walking away from things you know

that no longer serves you anymore.

557

That is the first step

of you loving yourself.

558

So walking away from a toxic, toxic

relationship that is you choosing yourself

559

and that is formal of you loving yourself.

560

You like walking away from.

561

SP habits, things you know that are not

good for you, you're choosing yourself.

562

That is you again, you

know, loving yourself.

563

So walking away from things, situations

that you know are unhealthy, and

564

learning to set healthy boundaries.

565

That is a form of you choosing

yourself, yourself, and loving yourself.

566

Speaker: I love, I love the way you put

that, and I haven't heard it that way

567

before, because immediately when you

said that, I thought, oh, boundaries.

568

But it's a, I like

saying choosing yourself.

569

I like that thought way better

than shut up your boundaries.

570

I mean, you know, you need to, but

doesn't it just seem, um, more positive,

571

more healing to say choose yourself.

572

Yeah, literally you're a

daughter of the king, right?

573

I mean, we are.

574

So choose yourself so that you

can go out and serve the world.

575

Speaker 2: Exactly.

576

And then, you know, when I said to you

I was fine, I was waiting for something

577

and I was in such of something out

there, and the lesson I learned was

578

that I, I needed to choose myself.

579

Speaker: Yes.

580

Amen.

581

That's the biggest one.

582

And I'm so thankful that came in

right at the end of our podcast.

583

Literally.

584

Ian, I just wanna thank you so much.

585

I'm sorry we didn't get to see you

on camera, but for all the listeners,

586

your beautiful voice rang through and

I'm so thankful that you were here.

587

And we will have, um, your

information in my show notes.

588

So I just, um, make sure that people can

reach out to you if they want to connect.

589

Speaker 2: Thank you so much and I cannot

wait to be next on your show as well

590

Speaker: in June when that

book, I've got a book coming out

591

too, so yes, we'll chat more.

592

Speaker 2: Exactly.

593

Thank you so much and you need

to come to my show as well.

594

I, 'cause I feel like

there's a story there.

595

There's a story there.

596

Speaker: I would love it.

597

I would love it.

598

All right my dear.

599

You take good care and thank you.

600

You too.

601

Take care boy.

602

Bye-Bye.