On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I dive into the idea of creating your own personal board of directors. 

Inspired by my friend’s business and my own journey, I explore what it means to have a group of trusted people in your life who can offer guidance, accountability, and support - kind of like your own “Knights of the Round Table.” 

I share how this concept goes beyond the corporate world and can be a powerful tool for personal growth and decision-making.  

I talk about the importance of choosing people with diverse backgrounds, talents, and perspectives. 

It’s not about having a bunch of “yes” people around you. Instead, you want to curate a group that can challenge you, cheer you on, and help you see things from different angles. 

I break down the key qualities to look for - like trust, mutual respect, genuine care, and communication styles that will work for you. 

Members of the board should get you, understand your goals, and want to see you succeed. 

I also remind us about the responsibility that comes with asking for someone’s time and advice. If you’re going to reach out to your board, show up prepared and be clear about what you need. 

And remember, you’re the head honcho - you get to decide whose advice to take and when to go your own way. It’s all about gathering perspectives, not handing over your power.  

At the end of the day, building your own board of directors is a fun way to surround yourself with people who love you, believe in you, and can help you grow. 

Whether you make it official or just take a moment to appreciate the amazing humans in your life, I hope this episode inspires you to reflect on who’s at your table - and maybe even send a little thank you their way​! ❤️

KK’S KEY TAKEAWAYS:

•​ A personal board of directors is a handpicked group of people who offer you guidance and support.

•​ Choose members with diverse backgrounds and perspectives for well-rounded advice.

•​ Select people whose character and experience you respect and admire.

•​ Trust and mutual respect are essential for open and honest conversations.

•​ Board members should understand your goals, values, and who you are.

•​ You want genuine care and a lack of competition or jealousy.

•​ Communication styles should match your needs so you can receive feedback effectively.

•​ Always show up prepared and respect your board members’ time.

•​ You can change your board members as your needs and relationships evolve.

•​ Remember, you are in charge and get to decide which advice to follow and when.

BIO:

Spiritual mentor and writer Karen Kenney uses humor and dynamic storytelling to bring a down-to-earth, no-BS perspective to self-development.

Bringing together tools that coach the conscious and unconscious mind, Karen helps clients deepen their connections with Self, and discover their unique understandings of spirituality.  

Her practice combines neuroscience, subconscious reprogramming, Integrative Hypnosis, somatics, spiritual mentoring, and other holistic modalities to help regulate the nervous system, examine internal narratives, remove blocks, and reimagine what’s possible.

A passionate yoga teacher, long-time student of A Course in Miracles, and Gateless Writing instructor, Karen is a frequent speaker and retreat leader. Via her programs The Quest and The Nest, she coaches individuals and groups. 

With The Karen Kenney Podcast, she encourages listeners to shift from a thought system of fear to one of love, compassion, and personal responsibility. 

CONNECT WITH KAREN:

Website: http://karenkenney.com/

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KarenKenney

Hey, welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I'm so happy to be here

with you this morning, and I am recording this sucker like

bright and early.

This might be my first time ever recording a suck a leg as soon

as I get up in the morning. So this is kind of fun. I love

having a new experience. We're just going to dive right into

this. I'm calling this sucker like your board of directors.

And the idea came from I have a friend who runs, I don't even

want to say a program, but she she has a lot of different

aspects to her business, and one of them requires that she has a

board of directors. And I remember when I first met her,

and we were talking about all the different things she does,

and she kept saying, the Board of Directors, the board of

directors. And I'm like, What? What do you mean? Like, you have

a board of directors. And because I've never been in like,

corporate world. I don't think I've ever worked for a nonprofit

or whatever. I'm fascinated by this idea of a board of

directors. Now, a board of directors normally, and I had to

look this up because I'm like, I don't know what I'm talking

about when it comes to corporate but basically a board of

directors when it comes to business and you know, all that

stuff. What they do these people is they provide high level

oversight of a company. So they hire and evaluate the CEO, they

look out for, obviously, the shareholder interest. They

approve, right? They have to, you have to go to them to

approve, like, if you have strategic goals and your

budgets, and they set policies, and they basically make sure

that the organization isn't doing anything illegal. They try

to have financial compliance, ethical, you know, compliance,

all those things, so they aren't involved in, like, the day to

day, like on the ground operations, but they kind of

like oversee. They're like an oversight board, and they

provide guidance, and they, you know, try to make sure that the

company is running well, and then it has its long term best

interests. It's hot, okay? So, like, that's kind of what they

do. So their key responsibilities are things like

representing the shareholders, compliance, risk management,

financial oversight, executive leadership and strategic

direction, blah blah blah. And I was like, Okay, that's cool. I

understand how that works for a business, especially like a big

corporation that has a wicked lot of, you know,

employees and people that they have to answer to and blah, blah

blah. But then I was thinking about how cool it would be to

have a personal board of directors. And I realized kind

of how I already have a personal board of directors. Now, if

you've ever listened to this show for any length of time, or

you follow me on social media, you've been to my events or

worked with me, blah, blah, blah, if you're in the nest, or

did you know one to one mentoring. You have heard me

talk about your spiritual team. You'll hear me say, s t o t j,

spiritual team on the job, right? I always stick my hand up

and I go, s t o t j,

and I believe that my spiritual team has saved my ass more than

once. But when I and if you don't know what I'm talking

about with the spiritual team. You can go and, like, look up

that episode, or go to my website and get the freebie.

Like, download about, like, spiritual teams, and how to

build your spiritual team. But your spiritual team can be made

up of people, both living and dead. It can be made up of

mythological people. It can be made up of animals. It can be

made up of your ancestors. It can be made up of fictional,

fictional characters, like playing a role, you know, it's

like, it's, it's a lot more kind of broad in its scope, and it's

more, I think of it like they're my they are part of my internal

guidance system, right? And that's fantastic, and it's

amazing. And like I said, it has helped me all throughout my

life, when I'm talking about a personal board of directors,

though this involves like people who are actually alive.

Now, remember, people can be alive and be on your spiritual

team, but this is only made up of people who are like real in

the world, like human you can communicate with them or

whatever. And when I was thinking about this, I thought,

how, how cool is it to have like people, let me just kind of like

break it down how I think about a personal board of directors as

opposed to an executive, like a professional, like in your

career kind of life. So a personal board of directors is

more like a group of people that you curate, that you choose, and

I'll kind of break down.

What I think is helpful to have, and like, kind of how this

works. If this interests you, and you might realize all along,

like that you kind of already have this kind of thing going

on. You just might call it something different, you know

what I mean. So it's like a curated group of, like, your

mentors, your advises and peers who provide for you certain

things, like they might provide provide to you like just built

in accountability. They might provide for you guidance on

particular things, right? They might provide for you diverse

perspectives on a thing, but they help you to navigate your

personal life, and, of course, that you can also enlist them to

help you navigate your professional life. But unlike

like a corporate board, what this is is more for like when

you're trying to make a decision, or you're on a

personal growth journey or a transformational like journey,

and some of the elements, though, that are really key

here, and I'm going to break those down in a minute.

But we want, like I said, we want this. And if you don't like

the word, I should say that if you don't like the term, like,

board of directors. I also wrote down some others. I'm like, you

could call them your board of trustees. You could call them

your executive board. You can call them, your governing

committee, your supervisory board, whatever you want to call

it. Come up with a fun name. I really love naming things, so

I'm like, come up with a name that like really works for you.

A lot of times, the people who I would consider on my personal

board of directors, I'll often say to them, I want to ping pong

some things with you, right? I want to, I want to brainstorm a

couple of things with you. I have this idea. This is what I'm

thinking, and I would love your perspective. And that's really

what I'm personally looking for, is a broader perspective on a

thing. And this is why, when you choose, and I wrote down some

things here about what I think is really important. And you

know, when I when I Googled this concept of like a personal board

of directors,

here's some of the things that I'll just tell you. The Internet

said, right that your who should be on your personal board. They

say things like this, this should be diversity, like you

want to seek out people with a wide range of backgrounds. You

want them to have diverse roles, so that they can fill different

elements or functions within your life. And then I thought

these were kind of cute. They said they suggested having a

chair, right? Somebody who's who holds the chair, the chair of

values. So this is someone who helps you to stay true to your

ethical principles. And it's interesting, because in the

nest, my group mentoring program like I have these kind of 12

modules, and one of them is called your big three, and it's

about your three big core values. And of course, you can

have more core values, but we kind of stop with those three

that really kind of anchor you and help you to stay true to

like who you are and who you want to be in the world. So I

really appreciated this one. And then they said the CFO of

energy. I thought this was really interesting, a steward of

your time, your health and your emotional energy. So you're

starting to see how the people on your board of directors might

fulfill different roles, right? And then you have a strategy

director. This is someone who is a very strategic thinker, and

they help you to define your long term goals and then stay on

track with those suckers, right? And then there's the risk

officer of growth. And this is someone who helps you to assess

like potential pitfalls when you're starting a new venture or

doing a new, big and exciting thing, or you're thinking about

taking on, you know, risk of some kind, and then it's like

your accountability partner, and this is a trusted peer or

confident who holds you accountable for your actions. So

you can see how it could look different, and it could be kind

of fun when you're doing this. Now, you might be somebody who

says, well, I already have that kind of built into my life. And

I'm like, if you do that's amazing. I have this built into

my life. I basically like my board of directors. Number one

is me.

I'm the head honcho, right? Call that the C I don't really relate

to language like the CEO, but maybe that's the language you

you like, but like, I'm I'm the head honcho, like, I'm the one

in charge, right? Of things, and yes, I will always draw upon my

internal teacher. Like, that's a part of me, right? That divine

intelligence, whether you call it spirit, Holy Spirit. Some

people might call it. I call it internal teacher. In a teacher.

Some people might also call it your intuition, your instinct,

whatever, all of that already resides within me as the head

honcho. You know what I mean. But then if you're going to

build your personal board, you know, here are some of the

things that.

That I that I would recommend, or that I look for in my own

experience, because, again, that's the only thing I can

really talk about with any sort of intelligence. Or, you know,

proof of like, real like, firsthand, Real Deal experience

is that, like, first of all, I'm looking for people that have

diverse experience, who have diverse talents, that they're

just diverse in their perspectives, right? It's like,

and this could be like all kinds of things. They come from

different backgrounds. They come from different points of view.

Somebody might be male, female, gay, straight, in corporate

right, or somebody who's always just been like an employee, or

somebody who like whatever it is, like, I like to have people

that can come at things from a slightly different point of

view. I kind of think of it like this Kaleidos Kaleidoscope

effect. And now, one of the key points with that, though, is

that if you're getting people who are going to give you a

bunch of different advice, for some people that can feel a

little overwhelming to you and your nervous system, it can feel

like, oh, everybody's saying all these different things. So we

want to be mindful about that. When I say diverse, it doesn't

also mean that you want to over complicate it and get

overwhelmed. Okay, so here are the some of the things that I

use to build I would use to build a personal board of

directors. Number one, they're elected by you, like you choose

these suckers, right? Because sometimes we can have people in

our life who try to give us advice without us even asking.

Oh, just grabbing my face. You know, people who will just offer

up what they think you should do, and you're in your brain is

going, I don't remember even asking you, but okay, like

whatever you know, and look, I'm sure I do it too. We just like

to be helpful. And sometimes we hear somebody's in a conflict or

going through something, and you unsolicited advice, or you start

coaching them, and whatever, I try to be really mindful of

that. I'm sure sometimes some, some, you know, some shit slips

through my mouth, and I'm like, oh. And then later I realized, I

don't think you were actually asking me for my opinion, but we

do our best. But number one, we want them to be elected by you.

Now, of course, they have to be willing to be on your board of

directors, right and and you can even ask them. You can just say,

Hey, I would love to include you, like, kind of make it

official. I think there's something really cool about

that. And I think even just asking them, they'll feel

probably, I don't know if I want to say flathead, but they'll be

feel honored. They'll be like, Oh, thank you so much. And what

we're doing is, when we ask these people, don't ask your

average for your knucklehead. You know what I mean? Like,

don't ask. Like, be choosy. Like, be particular, right? So

we want to, like, choose people where we that there's something

about their character. There's something about their

the qualities they possess, and there's something about their

experience, right, their lived experience that you admire.

That's number one. You elect them. They have to be willing to

do it, but you're choosing them based on these qualities of

character

and experience, lived experience that you admire. Okay, this one,

this next one, number two, is wicked important. First of all,

you have to trust them. It has to be a relationship that is

kind of like built in this place of trust in the trust is what's

going to allow for safety. And when there's trust in safety,

and that can look like a feeling of like all parts of you are

welcome. All parts of you are welcome in your relationship

with them, right that you have a sense of of trust that they're

not going to try to hurt you, harm you, belittle you, you

know, whatever, and that allows you and your nervous system to

experience some sort of safety. Why that's important is, is

because that allows you to show up with an open mind in with

your dukes down, right? You don't have your defenses up. As

soon as the defenses go up and the critical right, the critical

voice comes online because you don't feel safe, then creativity

goes out the window, right? So we want to be able to stay in a

place where you're open and you're creative and you're

curious, and trust and safety are a big part of that, okay?

For me, I would also look for mutual respect, meaning, not

only do you respect them, because it can be really easy to

give your power away and put people up on a pedestal and be

like, Oh, they're the almighty knowing guru. Like they're

they're the like, you know, they know everything, and you just

kind of give away your power. And I never want you to do that,

because I want you to be able to retain the ability.

Kind of to, you

know, reject advice if it's not like in alignment with you or

your values, right, and stuff like that, you don't want to.

You want the respect to flow both ways that you respect them

and that you're highly aware that they also respect you and

your your agency, your autonomy, your sovereignty, your

authorship, your ability to make good decisions. So we want

mutual respect. That really is a big deal, because if there's

somebody that we respect but we feel like they don't respect us,

then the way they talk to us, the way they treat us, in the

long run, it could lead to it

could lead to feelings of like shame and blame and guilt and

all kinds of weird shit that we don't want to

do. Okay. Number four, for me, I want there to be a foundation of

familiarity. I want people who already really get me to the

best of their ability, right, who understand me and who

understand my goals, my vision, my dream, what I'm trying to

accomplish. I don't want to have to explain myself or give like

an hour of backstory every time I talk to them. I want them to

kind of already know where I'm coming from, where I came from,

like, who I am, what matters to me, so that you know, like, for

example, let's just say I, I'm totally pulling this out of my

and making this up. But, you know, being, being a vegan for

like 25 years, like loving animals, you know, respecting

animals rights, never wanting to harm them. If somebody doesn't

know that about me, if they don't know how what a big part

of my life. Animals are or whatever, you know, they might

make some I'm again, making this up, but they might make some

recommendations. And in my brain, I would just be like, you

know, I'm not going to go to that rodeo, you know, I'm not

going to go to that pig roast to network, you know, I wouldn't go

and, like, buy this leather, X, Y, like, whatever the thing is,

right?

And so you want people to least really get the core basics of

like, who you are and what matters, you know what I mean,

so a foundation of familiarity. And like I said, that was just

like a random example, but you want them to understand you and

the way that you tend to think and the way that you tend to

process. And are you somebody who's not a risk taker? Are you

somebody who kind of does things a little fast and furious, and

you know, need to, sometimes need to be reined in, right?

Like we want them to, kind of like, know us. So Familiarity is

important, but familiarity without contempt, not so much

familiarity that they've put you in a box, which can happen a lot

with family members and siblings and people you came up with,

right? They're too familiar with you, and so they're not able to

see you as the person you have grown to become, and are still

becoming so familiarity, but without contempt. Okay, that's

an important thing. Also genuine care. So this is number five,

alright? So genuine care for you, you want people who

actually want you to succeed in life. Want you to succeed in

your relationships, in your friendships, in your business,

in your marriage. You know what I mean, in your in your craft,

whether you're a musician or a writer or a dancer or a speaker

or a whatever you do, right? You want people as a coach, right?

You want people who want you to actually succeed, that there's

not this weird competition, that there's not this like weird envy

or jealousy that kind of puts a cog in the wheel and that can

feel sometimes like, Oh, now they're starting to give me

advice. It just feels like

or just making off handed comments or backhanded

compliments or whatever, if that energy starts to get like,

weird, right, then trust and safety go like, goes out the

window and it's going to be like No, no. So you want people who

are confident enough in their own success and in who they are

that they don't get weird about seeing their friends shine or

seeing their friends grow, or seeing their friends have

success, whether it's personal or professional. We want

somebody people who genuinely care about us. We also want

number six like to understand communication styles. We want to

have people that give feedback right, that can give feedback to

us in a way that we can actually hear. We want people who know

how to give loving feedback, who know how to lead with your

strengths? Yes, there's always going to come a time when it

might be like, hey, and, you know, there's a big difference

between saying, Well, you shouldn't have done that, like

that was stupid,

versus, have you considered, you know, I was thinking about this

and I got.

Curious about this, what do you think? Or whatever? Right? Their

communication styles. Now, personally, sometimes I like, I

really love compassionate, loving feedback, and I also want

people who sometimes get to the point who are direct, and I call

it loving but firm, right? Like I can do well with loving but

firm, because there's a part of me that's like, Don't fucking

tiptoe around this, right? Like, tell me what you're thinking. I

want to know what you're thinking. Like, don't be mean.

Don't be mean. Watch a tone of voice, because for with me, it's

not always necessarily what you say, it's how you say it, right?

I know sometimes people have to say difficult or tough things to

us. But if I know that there's already trust and safety, if I

know that you respect me, if I know that you get me and my

story and my backstory and who I am and where I'm coming from,

and you genuinely care about me, then I can hear pretty much

anything. You know what I'm saying. So we want people who

have communication styles that jive with us, that work with us,

you know what I mean? And then here's another thing, and this

is kind of like on you. This is number seven. Is responsibility

and preparation. If you are going to ask people to give you

some of their precious time, you know, time is a commodity, like

time and attention is a really big deal. So for me, if I'm

going to ask somebody to hop on a zoom, like, so I can ping pong

something off of them, or I can brainstorm or to Vox something

out with me, which I often do with one of my board of

directors, right? Or somebody on who's on my board of directors,

I'm not going to waste anybody's time. Like, don't waste

anybody's fucking time today. You know what I mean? Like, show

up, prepared. Show up, prepared. And say, like, yeah, these are

the three things I want to talk about. I just want to get your

you know, your point of view, your reflection, your feedback,

your thoughts, whatever it is, like, just don't waste people's

time so it because here's what it is, if it's important enough

for you to try and use their time, it better be important

enough to you that you sat down and got your work done, that you

prepared, you know, that you showed up and like, you're ready

to go.

And so these are, like, kind of the basics. And look, I could

probably name like another five or six or whatever, but this is

kind of like the hot beat of it. And I'm going to just re say

them quickly to you. Number one, they're elected by you,

obviously, with their willingness to participate,

right? You're looking for people with characters and qualities

and experience that you admire. Number two, that this trust and

safety between the two of you, so that you and your nervous

system can fully show up in a relaxed calm. You know with

clarity, with confidence, you know with curiosity, that you're

not going into it defensive with your dukes up in fear, with that

critical voice, like, you know, talking really loud in your

head. Mutual respect. That flows both ways. I think that's a

given. A foundation of familiarity is number four,

right? So number one, elected by you. Number two, trust and

safety. Number three, mutual respect. Number four, foundation

of familiarity, they understand you. They understand your goals

and your vision and kind of what you're doing. Number five, there

is genuine care between you. There's no weird competition or

jealousy. These are people who cheerlead you, who want you to

succeed. They believe in you. You know what I mean? They think

you're the bee's knees and the cat's pajamas. Six,

communication styles. They're not going to come at you fast

and furious and make you kind of like, shrink up and go, Oh no,

right? And you can actually, like, talk about this, like, Hey

guys, just so you know, the way that I tend to receive

information, I can be a little sensitive, you know, I prefer to

hear things like this way, because I want to hear what you

have to say, but I want to hear it in a way that I can hear it.

And number seven, your own responsibility and preparation.

If you're going to ask for people's time, don't waste their

time. Don't waste your time, right? If it matters to you,

make it matter. You know what I'm saying.

Something else to to remember is that

you can appoint these people and you can retire these people. You

know, if you're like, it doesn't feel like a great fit anymore,

or I'm kind of moving in this direction, or maybe the

relationship kind of falls apart, or things get weird. And

then you can also reappoint them, like, let's say, later

down the road, you're like, oh yeah. Like, I want to bring them

back on board. Now, remember, they have to be willing, like,

to do this as well. So we want a good, diverse range of

experience, of talent, of perspectives, of just even human

beings, that maybe they come from different like, you know,

walks of life. And I know for myself, I don't really go

seeking a lot of advice, you know, I tend to be like, I

always say like, first, the first quote, unquote person, the

first thing I talk to, the first being I talk to is, is God, is

the universe is, you know, the highest intelligence,

intelligence that it is. And I say things like, please help me

to get out of my own way.

Please help me to hear any divine guidance that is trying

to come through me.

And I really kind of sit for me, that's the first thing, is

spiritual direction, spiritual mentorship. That's where I go

first. And then I talk to myself like, I trust myself. I trust my

inner teacher. I trust my instinct. But there are times

when I'm like, I'm not sure, because sometimes when you maybe

want something really bad, or you're really, like, focused on

a certain timeline, or whatever you're you kind of put on

blinders, right? You end up having a blind spot. And

sometimes we have a blind spot to the actual thing that we're

trying to build. But sometimes we have a blind spot to our own

bullshit and like, the ways that maybe we're not dreaming. Like,

for me, one of the things I often need help with is allowing

myself to dream bigger. Sometimes I don't dream big

enough, right? Like, sometimes I'll put a little kibosh on my

own. Not so much momentum, but like, what I think is possible,

which is really interesting, because for other people, I just

think everything is possible. Like, oh my god, you know, like,

Oh my God, there's so much capacity and potential and the

miraculous and like, anything could happen. The universe is

conspiring in our favor and then sometimes towards myself, I

shrink it down a little bit. So that's a muscle I've been trying

to grow for, like, a long time, and my board of directors really

helps me. They'll remind me when I say, Well, if this happens,

they say, not if, when, right? My best friend Katie, who's on

my board of directors, she always is saying to me, it's not

if, it's when. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I gotta watch that

language. I gotta watch that language. You know what I mean.

So

we want people who are going to help us in the ways where we

might get in our own way, and we sometimes will, again, not think

big enough, or sometimes we're thinking way too big, and we

need somebody to say, hey, let's slow down. Let's take like,

let's plan this out. Like, let's, let's take this like,

step one, step two, step three. And, you know, and that's the

thing you want, like, really, like, maybe, like, big dreamers.

And then you want somebody who's a little more practical, and you

want somebody who's really good at looking at the numbers, and

you want somebody who's really good at looking, like, at the

your own emotional capacity, like, reminding you, like, Hey,

you have a pretty busy schedule. Is this really the month to try

and, like, do all the things right? And, like, start a new

thing, and stop a habit and start a new habit, and go back

to the gym and do all this when you've got X, Y and Z? Because

sometimes we just, you know, God bless us. Sometimes we just need

a little help.

I know this to be true, because I wouldn't be in business if

people didn't need help, right? I wouldn't be in the spiritual

mentoring and the coaching and the, you know, quote, unquote,

helping business, you know, in the service business if people

didn't need help. And I just think having this in your own

personal life could be really cool. And I think there's

something really fun about sitting down, because you know

why you get to sit down and really reflect on the people

that you're surrounding yourselves with. You get to sit

down and take a gander, take a good look around, and it allows

you to have How do I say this? Moments of appreciation, deep,

deep moments of gratitude, kind of moments of wonder and awe.

You get to look around and be like, Wow, I know some pretty

incredible human beings. I know some people with some talents

and strengths that I don't have. I have people also. You get to

see that you have people in your corner, people who believe in

you, people who love you, people who want to help you succeed.

It's a beautiful, beautiful practice, and even if you don't

take it so far as to make it official, and, you know, make it

like, oh, yeah, this is my board of directors. And do you want to

be on my board of directors? You don't like, you know, some

people might be like, that's awkward,

you know, can I just go to them for advice? I'm like, Yeah, but

this is just kind of a fun way to stop and reflect on some of

the incredible humans in your life, and even if you don't like

again, make it official, maybe what you could do is when you

recognize these beautiful human beings, these help is these

people who care for you and create trust and safety in your

life and provide a level of care and a strong foundation for you

to stand on and launch yourself from like from their love. And

that's the thing, you know, I think about the thing that Mr.

Rogers says he's like, you know, we've all had people who have

loved us. We have someone who has loved us into being. And

this is what I think about your board of directors, like as they

have, these are often people who have, throughout our life, loved

us into being. And even if you don't make them official, board

members, maybe send them a little thank you note like,

literally your own handwriting, like write out a card, send it

in the mail and let them know that they.

Had an impact on your life, and maybe you want to make it

official. Like, I kind of think of it like I did an episode a

wicked, long time ago called, like, who's at your table? And I

was talking about, you know, King Arthur and the Knights of

the Round Table, and who has a seat at your table? Like, who do

you trust? That's kind of like what the board of directors are.

And that's how I would think of it is more like the Knights of

the Round Table, like, who has a seat at my table and I get off

the top of my head, I can already tell you, like, I know

who my board of directors are. I know who my Knights of the Round

Table are. That's how I like to look at it, because I'm a little

geeky, and I love Merlin, I love magic, and I love the whole

thing.

So, like I said, you get to make it your own. Call it whatever

you want to call it. And I just, whenever I think about this, I

have deep gratitude for the people in my life who love me

and see me and get me, and I can just box them and say, Hey, I

have an idea. Can I bounce this off of you? Or, Hey, can you

ping pong this back to me, like, Am I seeing this correctly? Or

where am I? Where do I have a blind spot? Or where am I

getting in my own way? And I'm so blessed to have, you know, a

few people that I really, really, really trust, and I know

that when something good happens for me, they genuinely

celebrate, like, genuinely celebrate. They're happy for me,

you know? And that's like a that's like a rare thing, you

guys, yeah, you can often get it, not always, not always. Do

you get it from your family members, or if your parents are

still alive, right? Whatever, especially if you grew up in a

house where to shine meant that other people felt like they were

in your shadow. So they're not into that, right? You know what

I mean? A lot of times, people don't want you to get too,

quote, unquote big for your britches. They don't want you

Who do you think you are, right? They don't want to celebrate

your success. Your personal growth is a threat to them,

right? They take, they take it as almost like an affront to

them, like, they take it like, like, like you just doing well,

feels like a judgment to them. Like you stop or start doing a

thing. They take it personally. It's like, this isn't about you,

right? It's not about a commentary on you. This is about

me and what I'm trying to create. You know what I mean?

But remember, you're the head honcho, you're the CEO, you're

at the head of the table, right? Like, this is your board of

directors. So again, you can appoint you can retire, you can

reappoint people. You can change it up. And you might have people

that you go to. You might have people that you go to for just

specific things. Because you're like, this is their area of

expertise. It's like, oh yeah, this is the person

that I talk to, you know, when I know I'm getting in my own way,

when I need a little kick in the ass, you know, loving but firm.

You know what I mean? I talk about my spiritual team, and how

there's, like, a couple of what I call ass kick is on my

spiritual team. So there are certain people that you know are

going to give it to you straight now, here's the tricky part.

This is one caveat. This is something that where you really

have to know yourself. I see this a lot in groups of friends,

right? What you don't want is to have a lot of yes people, right?

Quote, unquote, yes people you don't want, people like, how do

I say this? I know people who might be doing something in

their life,

and whether it's an actual physical action or a thought

process that they're having when they're really in their victim

loop, or they're shaming and blaming other people, making it

like they are just not. This is what I call refusing to accept

responsibility for your own experience, in your own, you

know, life, in how you're responding to the world. And a

lot of times, what they'll do is they already have particular

feedback that they want to receive. They already have an

outcome in mind. And they're not actually looking for diverse

perspectives. They're not looking for any pushback, any

follow up questions, any feedback. They just want to go

to that group of people, right? I can just say this from a

perspective of

I've seen groups of women who like get together with their

wine, and this is not I'm not judging. I'm just giving an

example. It's an observation, right? They get together with

their wine and all they do is bitch and moan about their

partners, their husbands, their Sweeties, their whatever it is,

and it's just like, Yeah, you're right. He shouldn't do that.

Yeah, you're right. She was wrong to do that to you. Yes,

yes, yes, yes, you're right, you're right, you're right. I'm

not interested in that. That to me, like I always say, that's

not interesting to me. I want people who are going to help me

to actually grow, who are going to help me to like, shift my

perspective right, from fear to love, people who are going to

help me to expand my idea of what's possible. So.

To as I say, we have to be willing to own both our

brilliance and our bullshit, and I want people who can lovingly

point out to me my bullshit sometimes. So we don't want a

group of people who are just going to say, like, yes, you're

right. Yes, don't I'm like, don't agree with me. Don't agree

with me if I'm wrong, right. Don't agree with me if I'm being

a dick, don't agree with me, if I'm being selfish or short

sighted, or I'm cutting myself off at the knees, like no, I

don't want a bunch of yes people. I want people who are

confident enough in their own point of view to offer me a

different way of seeing myself, the other person or people the

situation, you know what I mean. So, yeah, I hope, I hope this

has been helpful in some way. If you do decide to create your own

little board of directors, your own little, from my point of

view, Knights of the Round Table, like, who has a seat at

your table? I would love to know, I think it's really

fantastic, and I just know for myself having the that little

handful of like, really trusted advisers, people who I think are

genuine, and people who I think are wicked smart. And I always

say when smarty pants people are saying smarty pants things, I am

smart enough to listen, and it doesn't mean that you have to do

what they tell you to do. This is more about gathering

perspective so that you can decide what the next right,

smallest step is. Sometimes it's a big step, maybe it's the next

right big step. But for me, it's about going. It's more about

like, and especially the kind of person that I am. And this

might, I'm sharing this because it might relate in resonate with

you too.

Sometimes I'm like,

I think this is what I want to do. There's like, A, and there's

B, and sometimes there's a, b, c, right? Or 123,

and I will share with somebody else, and they'll say, I think

this is what I would do if I was in your shoes, or I think this

is what you should do, right? We try not to use the word should,

but you know what I'm saying, if it were me, this is what I would

do. Or, how about this? And a lot of times them just giving me

something else, like giving me an answer back that I can

respond to helps me to make up my mind. Like, for example, I'm

the kind of person. Like, let's make it as something as simple

as what people all over the country probably go through all

the time, right? What do you want to have for dinner, right?

And when somebody asked me that, what do you want for dinner, I

have the kind of brain that goes like, like, it pans out, and

it's like, oh my god, I gotta have so many things. It's way

easier for me to say or to have somebody say to me, do you want?

Do you want pasta? Or do you want something else, right? And

do you want, like, you know, like, whatever it is. And

because in that moment, I will have a strong physical reaction.

I will have a strong, like, call it gut reaction, or whatever,

but my body will go, oh, no, you know. And I'll be like, Oh,

should I have, like, should I have ramen noodles? Or, again,

making this up, should I have, like, in there vegan? Just

assume everything I say is a vegan product. Okay, should I

have like, a chick Patty, not real chicken, a chick patty and

rice? Or, should I have pasta and a salad? And I'm like, I'm

kind of leaning towards this. And then my CD will say, well,

have that. And as soon as he says it, my body goes, No, I

think I'm going to have the other one. And he just laughs.

And I explained to him, I literally sat him down, and I

said, Look, I want you to understand it's not that I

don't, and sometimes I do choose and go with the thing that he

he, you know, suggests. But a lot of times I said, you're

doing me such a huge service by just throwing something back at

me, giving me your opinion back, because it helps me to feel in

my body what my hell yes or my hell no is right? Like, my heck

yeah, like, yeah and my hell no, right? Like, I literally have a

visceral reaction. So it's really, really helpful. And

sometimes having a board of directors helps you to get more

clarity about what you want, so you are not imprisoned by what

their suggestions. And you also have to be comfortable enough,

maybe I would add number eight,

like there has to be a level of honesty and a level of comfort

that you can say to them, thank you so much for offering your

feedback, your opinions, your whatever. This is what I've

decided to do, and it might be the total offer.

Opposite of what they offered. So this is not like the judge

and the jury that's saying. This is how it has to be again. This

is a cultivation of meaningful relationships with people who

possess qualities again and experiences that you admire, but

they are not you. They are not in your shoes, and they will not

have to pay the consequences of the decisions that you make.

Right? So you want to be able to have like, maintain your own

again, your own agency, your own autonomy, your your authorship,

right, your ability to say, like, this is what I've decided,

and not be afraid that you're going to, like, hurt their

feelings, or they're going to get mad at you, or whatever,

especially if you're a codependent kind of person, a

people pleasing kind of person, a person who doesn't like to

hurt other people's feelings. Like, upfront, there has to be

good boundaries where you're like, Hey, I'm going to gather

all of this and then at the end of the day, I'm going to just

decide like, like, what works for me, and just really be

mindful of people's time, be grateful and thank them verbally

or written, right acknowledge that they've been helpful, even

if you decide to do something different. I could probably go

on and on and on and on, but I'm going to stop it right there. I

hope this has been helpful to you in some way. If it has let

me know, like, send up a flare or whatever. If you did find it

helpful, share it with somebody else. I always say, if you found

it beneficial and you liked it and you were like, Oh, this is

interesting, or this was good, share it with somebody you love.

Like, why not spread more love in the world? You know what? I

mean? That's the whole point of this podcast, is to kind of

bring together, like, obviously, like storytelling, spirituality,

spiritual principles that we can apply in our day to day life

that helps us to have less suffering and to spread more

love in the world. That that's what's going on here. So if

you're still listening, thank you so much for being here, for

being a part of my community. I super, super, appreciate you. I

love this chance to get to communicate with you. And as

always, I just hope it was helpful in some way. Now you, as

you move forward into your day in your life, wherever you go,

please, may you leave yourself in the animals and the

environment and the other people in the planet better than how

you first found it. Wherever you go, may you your energy, your

presence, your love, your light, be a blessing. Bye.