I'm human. My electric got shut off, my kids are mean, and I don't have a production team — but the story keeps going.

Chapter 7: my first time ever in a courtroom (the first of hundreds), and the debut of a woman you'll be hearing a lot more about — Polly Pocket. What it feels like to walk into a room where everyone has already decided who you are. The gossip lesson I'm actually grateful for: "and then I became Linda." The hearing he walked away from with no consequences, and the regret I still carry about being the bigger person. An apology on my parents' doorstep I still can't tell you was real. And a porch, a man crying, and the four dumbest words I've ever said.

My mother told me he'd torture me for the rest of my life. "He'll get over it," I said.

Boy, was I wrong.

New episodes every Monday.

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📖 New here? Daddy Tissues is a true story, told in order — start at I'm F*cking Doing This. Every episode, in order 👇🏻

⚠️ Contains strong language and descriptions of family conflict and abusive relationship dynamics.

📚 THE WHOLE STORY, IN ORDER

I'm Fucking Doing This → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/im-fcking-doing-this

The Roots → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/the-roots

The Boiling Frog → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/the-boiling-frog

Let's Get High → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/lets-get-high

White Trash → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/white-trash

Chapter 1: Who is Vicky? → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-1-who-is-vicky

Chapter 2: Get Out of Jail Free Card → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-2-get-out-of-jail-free-card

Chapter 3: Fan Mail → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-3-fan-mail

Chapter 4: The Battleground → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-4-the-battleground

The Wrong Bitch → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/the-wrong-bitch

Chapter 5: Car Insurance → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-5-car-insurance

Chapter 6: Don't Forget to Brush → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-6-dont-forget-to-brush

Chapter 7: He'll Get Over It → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-7-hell-get-over-it

Chapter 8: The Box → https://daddy-tissues.captivate.fm/episode/chapter-8-the-box

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Ep14 Ch7: He'll Get Over It

Gina: So before we get into this, I'm human I make mistakes I don't have a fucking production team

My electric got shut off last week. There are approximately 17 children running around my house as I'm recording this. My son just came in my room as I'm trying to work for new pants and chocolate milk.

So that brings me to something I said in the last episode. I said I was scrolling through my phone when I was twenty-one. That is incorrect because apparently I temporarily forgot that we didn't have iPhones when I was twenty-one. We didn't scroll. I don't even remember exactly what phone I had that day, but I do know I had an orange Nokia in high school.

Maybe I still had that, but who the fuck knows? I was going through my phone, looking at something, doing something on my phone, but I wasn't scrolling. And I know that sounds like the stupidest correction in the world, but my friend noticed it and I immediately thought, "Oh my God, you are right."

She's lying. She's exaggerating. She's so dramatic. She's crazy."

I'm going to tell you what I don't remember. I will always tell you what I remember honestly, and when I'm not sure, I'll tell you I'm not sure. And I'm going to make mistakes because if I wait until every twenty-one-year-old memory can pass a fucking forensic examination, there will never be another episode of Daddy Tissues.

Welcome back, my friends. I'm Gina Sullivan, and this is Daddy Tissues.

It's time for you to go home. Get off my property." It would've been better if she said, "Get the fuck off my property," but she doesn't use that word, Still one of my favorite mom moments of all time.

And eventually, everybody left. My son was home. He was alive. He was recovering, and I thought, "Thank God

It's over you know that saying, "This too shall pass"? Whenever something horrible happens, you're just trying to survive long enough to get to the other side, and once you finally do, you think, "Okay, that happened. It's done

And this happens to me all the time. One of my kids gets too close to a road, somebody runs ahead, I hear somebody yell about a car, and suddenly there's this feeling in my body like I'm right back there. My son getting hit by a car happened twenty years ago, but there are pieces of that day that never really ended for me.

I think the court hearing was maybe two weeks later, something around there. And this was my first custody hearing, my first real experience with court, and also the first time I met his lawyer, who we're going to call Polly Po- Polly Pocket. I can't even say it without laughing. I'm sorry, say this again. Also the first time I met his lawyer, who we're going to call Polly Pocket Unfortunately, Polly becomes a recurring problem in my life. At 21, I still had this belief that if somebody misunderstood me, I could just talk to them. Once they'd meet me, they'd understand. Once I explained what actually happened, everything would make sense

Before you've even opened your mouth. And listen, in defense of humanity, I probably did this too when I was younger.

I would've believed them and then called my other neighbor and said, "Oh my God, did you hear about Linda?" Why wouldn't I believe them? That's how gossip works. Somebody tells the story, then someone else tells it. Then somebody adds something. Somebody leaves something out. And before long, there's a whole group of people who have never even spoke to Linda, but everybody knows exactly what kind of person Linda is.

And then I became Linda. I became the person the story was about

The person people had opinions about without ever asking me what actually happened

And now, after everything I've lived through, I don't judge people. I can hear about somebody doing something completely insane and still think, "Okay, but what do I not know? That doesn't mean I think every behavior is okay.

There are always two sides to the story, my friends. Always. The people who matter ask you for your side. The people who don't were never yours to begin with.

Anyway, back to court. Me, the lawyer, the neighbor, Polly Pocket. I remember Polly pulls out some pictures of the bedroom that the neighbor had for my son at his house. And I remember my lawyer basically being like, "Yeah, I'm sure he has a beautiful bedroom there," because what the fuck does that have to do with anything?

That part I remember. A lot of the rest of the hearing is blurry. And this turned out to be the first of many, many court appearances over the years. I can't tell you how many, but it was a fucking lot. A lot, a lot. But this one was my first, and I was scared What ultimately came out of it was some version of a normal custody schedule.

For 20 years, I have continued to beat myself up over that decision. I still do. I think maybe that was my chance. Maybe that was the moment I should have done something different. Maybe I should have fought harder Maybe I should have tried to get my son completely away from him then Maybe I should have protected him more And that is the guilt that still eats at me That was a mistake. If I could go back, I wish I had a different lawyer. I wish I wasn't such a people [00:13:00] pleaser. I wish I had stood up in that courtroom and fought with everything I had to keep my son away from that man forever. Because he made up lies on paper to a judge to take a hospitalized three-year-old from his mother, and he walked out of that courtroom with nothing, no consequences, nothing.

I knew he was not right. I knew it in my body. I knew. And I overrode the knowing because I wanted peace.

Why didn't you do something? Why didn't you fight harder for your son? Why were you so fucking scared? And why did you do what everybody fucking told you to do? And why did you listen to everybody around you? Why didn't you trust yourself? You knew

You fucking knew

It haunts me. Still

And then I have to remember she didn't know what I know. She was scared

I learned if this man gets angry enough, I don't know what happens next back then, I was trying to be as reasonable as I possibly could. If I cooperate, maybe he'll leave me alone. If I don't fight, maybe he'll stop fighting. If I give him nothing to be angry about, maybe he'll leave our child alone [00:16:00] And I also genuinely believed I was doing the right thing.

I thought, "I'm not going to retaliate. I'm not going to take his son because he tried to take mine. I'm going to listen to my lawyer. I'm going to be fair. I'm going to do what a good person is supposed to do." Because that's who I was back then there was another piece I didn't understand at that time.

Some of his behavior did not seem as abnormal to me then as it does now because my parents fought throughout their marriage constantly. My dad was not nice to my mom. He spoke to her disrespectfully. That was just part of what relationships looked like around me.

I was trying to do what I believed was right

Maybe everything would calm down if I just did whatever was easy

You can see the entire road after you've already driven down it And I've spent 20 years wondering whether I missed an exit I have a really hard time forgiving myself for that

Because what followed affected more than me. It affected my son, it affected my family, it affected his family, and there are things from that time that are still affecting people today. So yeah, I still carry that I should have fought. I should have never let my son go back there, ever,

If you take one thing from this episode, when you know, you know. Don't let anybody, a lawyer, a family, your own niceness talk you out of knowing

When I broke up with him, my life got harder.

For years, I made peace. I bent, I accommodated. . And do you think giving him his normal schedule back, everything back to how it was, no punishment, no consequences, do you think that satisfied him?

Of course not. , Because that's not who he is. See, here's what the custody stunt actually was. Every time I left him, he made my life hell until I came back. That was the pattern our whole relationship.

I don't remember exactly how everything started, but I think somebody may have gotten kicked out, maybe him, probably him. I'm not sure, but I remember there were a bunch of people outside in this busy street, people everywhere, and he took my phone and smashed it, completely smashed it into pieces in front of everybody.

And I remember crying and being devastated. My son was still an infant. I had been drinking that night, so obviously I wasn't driving. I was supposed to sleep at his house with the baby, and after what happened, I didn't wanna be there anymore. So my mom came to get me. She picked me up. She drove me to get the baby, and we left.

and the neighbor punches the passenger side dashboard area above the glove compartment Hard enough to leave a dent.

Whatever happened startled me or moved me while I had the mascara wand in my hand, and suddenly there was mascara all over my face, all over the car, and a dent in my little Suzuki. And somehow, even things like that weren't enough to make me stay gone going back was easier than dealing with what happened when I didn't.

Make being apart so difficult, so chaotic, so scary that eventually I come back. I'm not saying I know exactly what he was thinking. I wasn't inside his head. I never heard him say, "I'm going to take her kid so she'll come back to me." But what I'm saying is, looking back at the pattern now, I believe that was the biggest version of the same thing I'd already been experiencing.

This is what my father told me happened. My dad told me that he apologized for making up the allegations from the custody situation, and my father respected the fact that he came there and apologized. That didn't mean my dad suddenly forgot what happened. It didn't mean everything was okay. But this was the father of his grandson.

My dad loved his grandson, so he decided that he was going to remain civil. He was going to be respectful because he believed that was the right thing to do. And apparently being obsessed with doing the right thing runs in the fucking family.

You tried to take my kid away from me, and you think I'm going to get back with you after that?

There is no way in hell I will ever, ever be with you again. Ever

I did. I saw him hurting, and part of me still started doing what I always did. Maybe he made a mistake. Maybe he did it out of anger. Maybe he really regrets it. Maybe. I've always been incredibly good at understanding why somebody hurts me.

And when I came back inside, my mom knew he was upset. She knew he was crying, and she said something to me that I remember incredibly clearly. She looked at me and said, "Gina, he is going to torture you for the rest of your life for not getting back with him. You do know that, right?"

And I looked at her and I said, "Mom, he'll get over it

Boy, was I wrong

I'm Gina Sullivan. Grab some more daddy tissues, and I'll see you next time, my queens