If you find yourself doom scrolling, Dr John Demartini explains why the social media distraction may not be random at all, but valuable feedback on what truly matters most to you.

This content is for educational and personal development purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any psychological or medical conditions. The information and processes shared are for general educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental-health or medical advice. If you are experiencing acute distress or ongoing clinical concerns, please consult a licensed health-care provider.

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Sometimes you might find yourself

scrolling on social media and

sometimes being engaged in ways you

didn't anticipate and spend minutes

or maybe dozens of minutes or

maybe even an hour or longer

scrolling and browsing

this social media vehicle.

It may be on Instagram

or it may be something,

but you may find yourself going

and finding out and being hooked

by the algorithms of sales, by the

organizations that are selling,

or just by the intrigue according

to what you value most in your life.

And fill your mind with things

that intrigue you. In either case,

it's not unwise to prioritize what

you're doing with your time on

social media.

I do have specific things

that I target and focus on,

and if I'm scrolling down and I

see it, I pay attention. If not,

I just kinda go right past it.

There's some things that don't mean

anything to me and others it mean a lot,

so I will prioritize it.

So social media in itself is

neither good nor bad, or, you know,

a positive or negative thing.

It's simply a way of getting information

out and sometimes people are trying to

sell you on their ideas,

and sometimes you're going out and

looking for specific information that you

want. So just be honest

about why you're doing it.

If you're doing it intentionally and

you're prioritizing what you're doing,

you could be engaged in it,

use it wisely and powerfully.

But if you're just like impulse

shopping in the grocery store or

in the department store,

then the salespeople are going to

sway you with discounts and fancy

social media, you know,

enticements and things that sensate and

grab your attention, false information,

whatever it is that grabs your

attention. And then you're, in a sense,

distracted. Now,

you wouldn't be distracted if it wasn't

having some content that was meaningful

to you, but at the same time, instead

of you doing it intentionally,

you're doing it as a reaction.

You're having evoked potential stimulated

in your brain instead of spontaneous

action potentials that are intentional.

So just like in any area of your life,

if you don't feel your day with high

priority actions that inspire you,

your day can fill up with low

priority distractions that don't.

If you don't fill your social media time

with high priority actions that inspire

you, that's meaningful, it

can fill up with impulsive,

algorithmic pleasure seeking or

things that catch your attention.

Even if they do though,

you will find that there's something

that's a pattern in what you're being

grabbed by. Somehow your

values are filtering it.

You have what they call the

pulvinar nuclei in your thalamus.

It takes in information from your senses,

predominantly visual and auditory,

and it filters it and allows certain

things to go up into the conscious

awareness. The rest of it's kind of,

an infinitude of information

that's unconscious.

You're not going to be watching something

and stopping and paying attention to

it unless it serves some sort

of meaningful thing for you. So,

but you may be impulsively distracted

because somebody may be concentrating on

the way they're selling it and putting

the algorithm together to make sure they

grab your attention. And it may

not be the highest priority.

So just ask yourself, honestly,

how are you doing on your

prioritization of your social media?

Are you in command or other people?

Are you spontaneously

acting with intention and

prioritizing what you're going

on social media for?

Or are you just browsing and

distracted because you're not inspired?

Now, let me explain something.

When somebody's living by their

highest values congruently,

and they're doing something

extremely meaningful and engaged,

they're more likely to be using

social media for a purpose,

not just for pleasure, immediate

gratification, but for a deep purpose.

But when they're feeling that they're

having to do something out of duty,

not necessarily out of design,

something that's lower on their values

because they're comparing themselves to

others and envying other people and

trying to be somebody they're not,

and being second at being somebody

else instead of first being them,

and then automatically being unfulfilled,

because anytime you do something

that's lower on your values,

but maybe higher on somebody

else's because you envy

them, you'll automatically,

as the unfulfillment occurs,

be more vulnerable to non prioritized

information on social media.

You'll be more vulnerable to impulses

and instincts to seek and avoid.

You'll be grab, you know,

the things that'll grab your attention

are extremely pleasureful or painful

things that the algorithms of

salespeople are trying to impose,

or people trying to get your

attention because they want you know,

outreach on the social media.

So if you don't fill your day with

high priority actions that inspire you,

it's going to fill up low

priority distractions that don't.

And the low priority distractions in

social media are things that aren't the

most important,

but you wouldn't be attracted to them if

they weren't linked somehow to what you

value. So if you are spending a lot of

time on that, you could stop and ask;

what exactly is common to it and

what exactly is the meaning of it?

And you may discover that there's still

something that's important to you or you

wouldn't be attracted to it.

Even if I'm watching social media

and it's trying to grab my attention,

I just pass through a whole lot of stuff.

And then if I see something that engages

me, anything to do with you know,

self-mastery or business or finances

or achievement or something like that,

I'm in on it.

I may see a stoic quote or

something of a thing on stoicism or

something on achievement or some

famous person that's got a biography

or something like that, I'll grab

those and pay attention to those.

But maybe a whole lot of stuff

that means nothing to me.

So even if you are being

so-called distracted by it

because you're not engaged

fully and you're not prioritizing it,

you still probably have some sort of link

to something valuable or you wouldn't

be taking the time to watch.

So look for the common thread,

even if it is something that seems

like it's preoccupying and running you,

and find the common thread

and then prioritize it,

and then target that information.

If you're going to use social media,

use it to your advantage. Any area

of your life you don't empower,

other people are going to overpower you.

If you don't empower

yourself intellectually,

people will tell you what to think. And

social media is a way it's doing it.

If you don't empower yourself in business,

you'll be told what to do. Again,

social media will tell you that.

They're going to do whatever

they can to get your attention.

They're salespeople trying

to get your attention,

trying to get you and buy your attention

so they can get some extra points and

they get more advertising

and et cetera, et cetera.

So just know that they're pretty

savvy at doing that sometimes.

And if you're not really clear about what

it is that you are really prioritized

for, you'll be vulnerable.

You're still going to be

drawn by something that's

meaningful and important to

your values or you

wouldn't be drawn to it.

You're not going to be

distracted by everything.

You're only going to be

distracted by certain things.

Look for the common thread.

Find out what's the real

value that it's offering.

You may find out it's on

the way, not in the way,

and you won't even be judging

yourself for using it,

but you may now be prioritizing it,

using your time consciously and

constructively. Like I said,

there's sometimes I'll go on to Instagram

and I'll scroll down and I'll find

maybe one out of 20 things on there,

maybe one out of 30 things that's

passing by. And boom, I grab it,

I'll take it, I'll listen to it.

I may even write some notes

down or take quotes from it.

I may like that information and I will

discard the rest. I won't pay attention.

If it doesn't somehow grab me

in somehow in my value system,

I'm not going to even stop. But if it

does, I want to find what's common to it.

And I'm pretty selective. I don't

just watch social media, you know,

I don't just spend a lot of time

on it, but I do use it sometimes.

I find information. When I'm waiting

for dinner and I'm waiting for my food.

If I'm by myself, I might pull it up

and see if I can find some research.

I'll research stuff up,

or I'll get on Instagram and find out

information that comes along those lines.

So, prioritize what you do. Any area

of your life you're not prioritizing,

other people are going to control. If

you're not prioritizing what you read,

you're not prioritizing how

you're spending your time.

You're not prioritizing how

you're spending your money.

You're not prioritizing

who your clients are,

not prioritizing the actions you do in

your business that produce the most,

the 20% that gave you 80% results. If

you're not prioritizing your metrics,

you're not metricing

what's important to you.

If you're not filling your day with very,

very high priority things

and actions and people,

if you're not prioritizing your people,

and these are people on social

media that you can hang out with,

if you're not prioritizing it,

you're probably going to get

distracted by low priority things.

Think of it this way, when somebody

comes up to you and they say, well,

I'd like to take you to dinner

or lunch, or let's get together.

If you have a very high prioritized

schedule, it's easy to say thank you,

but no thank you. Not now.

But if you don't, you know,

they're going to grab the

attention. You're going to go,

I don't have anything else going

on. So I guess I'll say yes,

and you'll be more vulnerable to say yes

to things that aren't really inspiring

to you. That'll be opportunists maybe,

they're taking advantage of you and

they grabbed your attention because you

didn't have your attention

focused on what was priority.

When I have a full day and I

keep my days pretty prioritized,

if I have a full day of

things that I'm doing,

it's not easy to get my attention.

When I go into a store I already know

what I'm going to buy when I walk in

there. I don't do impulse shopping,

and if I don't see it, I'm out.

And you can't sell me something,

and you may not like me because I

go in your store and I go, I scan,

I see what I'm looking for or I don't.

If I do, I quickly buy it. If I don't,

I move on. So the same

thing on social media.

Don't let the world on the

outside dictate your destiny.

You take it from the inside. I said,

when the voice of visions on the inside

are greater and more profound and louder

than all opinions on the outside

to begin to master your life.

So take command of it,

but just know that they're going to do

whatever they can to get your attention.

And there's a pattern to it. Find the

pattern, find out what's priority,

and then use that priority to give

you information and ask yourself,

is this the highest priority

thing I can be doing with my time?

The most any human being

can do is ask that question.

Am I spending the highest priority actions

right now during my day that's most

meaningful, most productive, most

fulfilling? If it is, continue.

I've seen people use social

media or even normal media.

I had a gentleman that was

doing television and he was

spending six hours a day

watching, what do you call the,

they're trying to do the when

they're trying to solve mysteries for

police departments. I'm not

remember the names of the shows,

I don't watch them, but,

but all I know is that he was

watching nothing but those.

And we found out that his real goal was

to actually be in forensic medicine,

in forensic studies and solve

problems and solve mysteries,

particularly ones that are death. So

what he was watching was priority.

His mother thought he was

wasting his time and was upset.

But when we looked at what the

content was, there was a pattern,

and then we found out was what

was most meaningful to him.

But he was being told he had to go to

school and take these classes that he

couldn't see related to it,

and he was unfulfilled by it.

And so he was engaging in something

that was meaningful to him.

So if you're not filling your day

with something that's really engaging,

you're more vulnerable

to that. But even so,

there's still a pattern and you

want to find what is engaging you.

It's not everything on there.

It's only certain things.

Some things you just go right past.

It means nothing. It's no engagement.

If it's engaging, there's some value

that's being met and they're hooking you.

They've got a hook on you,

and they've figured out what it is and

they know how to get your attention. Now,

if you use it wisely, don't

judge yourself for it,

but use that information wisely to

do something meaningful, productive,

and fulfilling. Great. Use

social media wisely. You know,

social media is not a good or

evil thing. It has great tools.

It can be used very powerfully or

it can also be a distraction. So,

and even if it is a distraction, you

can take command of that distraction,

prioritize what it is, narrow it down,

and take command and do it willfully.

If you're not living your life by

design, you're living it by duty.

And duty means you're going to be

influenced by the world around you.

So you want to take the time to go

through and take a look at exactly what

you're looking at on there

and find the common thread.

Find out what values it's meeting,

and then don't judge yourself for it.

If it is meaningful and it's producing

something and it's helping you,

be honest about it, but if

it's not, you may be unengaged.

So stop,

go do the Value Determination process

on my website and go find out what is

engaging. And if you find out you're

spending a lot of time on social media,

then there must be a reason.

Find out the common thread and go through

the Value Determination and narrow

down what is valuable.

I've yet to find anybody when I do the

Value Determination that I can't narrow

down their values. It's a

very methodical process.

That's basically the intrinsic

driving values of your life,

not the extrinsic. So even if

there is a pattern of social media,

there's something there in your values

that it's meeting or you wouldn't

continue to do it.

No one will continue automatically to

do something unless they're getting some

advantage over disadvantage

out of doing it.

So finding out what that is is crucial,

but do the Value Determination process.

See, if you find out you're spending

a lot of time on that, if it's,

if it's the most hours in

a day like I'm spending,

it could be up to 14 hours a day

speaking and teaching, doing podcasts,

doing seminars, webinars, doing consults,

writing articles, doing something on the

computer that's involved in education.

So if I get so-called on social media,

I'm looking for information

that's going to help me do that.

And so somebody who will look

at that and they'll go, well,

he's always watching

these things on there,

I love watching things that help me

and empower the seven areas of life on

there. I use that. And I have no

issue about it. I don't judge it.

I know what I'm doing, why I'm doing it.

So take the time to prioritize your social

media. Take a peek at it. Look at it.

What's the pattern? Do it consciously.

Don't do it impulsively and don't let

people on the outside dictate your

destiny. If it's not the highest

priority action, take command of it,

be honest with yourself. And if

you're not prioritizing your day,

take the job description you have and ask,

how is my job description right now

helping me fulfill what's most important?

After you do the Value Determination,

the more engaged you are,

the more you're probably be focusing on

only things that help you fulfill that.

So if you,

either go do what you love through

delegating or love what you do through

linking is what I tell people.

Either go and delegate lower priority

things so you're fully engaged in doing

the most important things.

My case, teaching, research,

and writing and traveling

and delegate the rest.

Or if you have other responsibilities

that feel like duties,

that are job descriptions that are not

as inspiring and engaging, then ask,

how specifically is doing that helping

you fulfill your highest values and make

it a connection,

because the more neural links you have

in the brain between the action and

what's most important to you, the more

engaging it is when you're engaged,

the blood glucose and oxygen goes into

the medial prefrontal cortex where you

have governance and you moderate the

amygdala, which is the impulsive,

destructive side of social media. See,

the social media people are

interested in your amygdala.

They're interested in getting,

grab your attention with

a pleasure without a pain,

or they're trying to get to show you

something that's painful that you want to

buy something to get away from

it or grab your attention.

So if you're not engaged in high priority

actions and seeing how what you're

doing is helping you fulfill that,

you're more vulnerable to

be impulsively distracted.

Just like if you go and shop and

you're not fulfilled in your life,

retail therapy will go

out and get you in debt.

You'll go buy something on a credit

card, 30 days later you'll have the pain,

the pleasure separated from the pain,

which makes you think you can

get one without the other.

And you get trapped in an

addictive cycle of shopping.

And then you become a consumer.

Consumers are often sometimes,

the impulsive consumers,

compulsive consumers,

the immediate gratifying consumers,

the addictive consumers are people that

are unfulfilled in their highest values,

but the people who are consuming wisely

with selection and prioritization may

not be unfulfilled at all.

They're just using a social medium to

help them find what they're looking for

and help them. Like I say,

I go on my internet and Google and I

look stuff up and I go on AI and look

stuff up and I'm researching constantly.

And then if I'm scrolling on

internet on Instagram or something,

I find things that are meaningful. I

love finding quotes by great minds,

great thinkers or whatever.

And I'll take them and extract them

and put them into my computer and store

them, because I love, anything

that's empowers people I'm grabbing.

Now some people say, well, he's

focused on, on social media. Yes,

I'm using social media to accomplish

my mission. Ask yourself that,

first define what you

feel your mission is.

If you haven't come to the Breakthrough

Experience, my program that I do,

and I show you how to get that,

get clear about it and help you

identify what's really priority to you.

Help you do the Value Determination

as accurately as possible so we know,

we don't have questions, we know.

And let's get clear about what it is and

then use social media to that objective

or find the common thread to it. And so

you're doing it consciously. If you do,

you'll empower your life and use

social media not as a distraction,

but as a mission.

Because I think that it has just

as much value if it's used wisely.

Every tool has that.

Almost anything. Water,

if it's excessive and it's impulsive,

can can kill you. It can drown you.

But water is essential for

life. And same thing for tools.

The purpose of technology is

tékhnē which is a means to an end.

And the end in mind is your

purpose, the teleology.

So you can use technology to

help you fulfill your purpose.

If you prioritize what you're doing.

And every time you prioritize it,

you tend to use it more selectively.

You automatically selectively,

are bias for information that helps

you fulfill what's most meaningful when

you're clear about what's most

meaningful. So prioritizing that,

go on the website, do

the Demartini Method,

I mean the Value Determination process

and get narrowed down and find it.

If you need help, contact our office.

There'll be somebody that can help

guide you on that. But if you do,

you'll use social media

wisely. And if you are not,

then it could be used as a distraction.

One will inspire you and empower you,

and engage you and become,

you'll be grateful and productive

and meaningful and fulfilled.

And the other will make you feel that

you're being distracted and you're

unfulfilled and you'll beat yourself

up and question yourself and all those

things because you're

not seeing the pattern,

you're not seeing how it's on the way

or you're letting the impulses and

distractions affect you.

That's why it's so important to delegate

lower priority things or link the

things that you're doing that's duty to

something that's meaningful so you're

inspired.

When you're living an inspired life you

will prioritize your social media and

use it wisely. If you're living

a quiet life of desperation,

the world around you is going to run you.

Again, don't let the world around you,

don't be second at being somebody

else, be first at being you.

Don't let people around you infiltrate

and be opportunist. Take command,

be the one that's the opportunist.

Take advantage of what they're offering

and use it wisely to your advantage.

If you do, you'll engage, you'll

be inspired, you'll be fulfilled.

You won't have the question,

you'll be clear about your mission.

And I assure you that's way

more fulfilling than sitting

there wandering around

and letting impulses and instincts on

the outside distract you and run your

life.

So I just want to take a few moments to

share that little insight with you and

oversight overview.

And just know that if you don't fill

your day with high priority actions that

inspire you,

your day can easily get filled with

low priority distractions that don't.

But even if they are low

priority distractions,

find the pattern and use it as

feedback to guide you to fulfill what's

most meaningful to your mission.