Strap in, students, Tommy James and Big Money Eddie are back in session, and this time they’re dissecting episodes 5 and 6 of Alien Earth. Yes, the show where corporate greed is scarier than the monsters, pacing issues move slower than a Xenomorph on Ambien, and somehow… the aliens are the ones we feel bad for.

The boys wade through philosophical plant life, identity crises, and the looming “machines rise up” subplot that absolutely no one asked for, but we’re all here for anyway. Predictions fly, shade is thrown, and somewhere in the chaos Tommy proves that the scariest thing in the universe might just be his inability to pronounce Timothy Olyphant. (Offright? Oaf-lint? Who knows?)