Description: Corporate America wants your undying loyalty while keeping your resignation letter in their drafts folder. This scorching takedown exposes the one-way loyalty street where "company family" means you're the cousin they'll sacrifice first. When your boss talks team spirit while outsourcing your department, it's time to recognize the only lasting relationship is with your LinkedIn profile.

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Corporate loyalty died when companies realized layoffs boost stock prices faster than actual success. We're expected to tattoo the logo on our foreheads while executives practice saying "we're family" with the same sincerity as a stepparent at a custody hearing. The real corporate values? Disposability, deniability, and decorative plaques celebrating values they violate daily.