Taking things personal

The conclusions you make after having gone through pain define how content and fulfilled you can be in the future.

When we are little and very impressionable every feedback/ reaction we absorb becomes a part of ourselves and the conclusions and assumptions we make become part of our identity. As we grow older we learn that disappointment does not necessarily have something to do with us but with circumstances outside of us or other people. 

To own how you show up in life and to reflect about your behaviours and at the same time knowing that disappointment, trauma, pain is inevitable and not to her taken personal is an art in and of itself.

Join me this week for a couple minutes of intentional togetherness

with love and much respect

Aurora

I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self. My vision is to support your growth.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

with love and much respect

Aurora

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Unknown: 00:00:04

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, licensed life coach and companion on this

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beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel good, I hope you

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feel safe and loved and comfortable. If you do not feel

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good at the moment, I hope I can bring you value, I hope I can

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bring you comfort. And I hope I can bring you a little bit

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closer to yourself. Please be aware that I'm not a doctor, I'm

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not a professional. If you're struggling with mental health,

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if you're taking medication, don't make any adjustments based

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on what I say here. You need to seek out help from a

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professional if you are struggling with your health. I'm

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simply sharing from my experience and hope that by

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doing that I can make you feel less lonely. Today I want to

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talk about taking things personal. when life throws us a

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curveball, when we are shattered when we are disappointed by

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circumstances. When we feel hurt, when we are traumatized.

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By whatever came our way, we sometimes tend to fall into many

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depression. For some people, a big depression starts once

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something out of the norm happens. And what I've learned

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during the last four months of my life, is that when we do

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that, when we take things personal, we don't allow the

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circumstances around us and the people around us to support us

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and help us. Right. Like when something happens, it is really

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bad. But we tend to see then all of a sudden, everything is bad.

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Life is against us people are against us. The government is

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against us. And if we fall into that trap of victimhood, we at

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the same time, close ourselves off to finding very valuable

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support that is out there at all times, going through crisis,

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opening up about your struggle with people, about people to

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people however you say that in English, will surprise you most

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of the time, because you will then realize that people around

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you are way more compassionate than you thought they could be.

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I feel especially with strangers who never really met you. And

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you open up to them you speak to them. They have words for you,

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they have wisdom for you that can deeply alter your life and

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change the way you perceive life and that painful situation you

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are in right now. So, as counter intuitive, it may feel I want

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you to explore how much of a victim you have been in the past

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with painful situations. And how much of that are you still

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carrying around? And how much of that can you let go and trust

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that pain and suffering disappointment? traumatizing

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experiences are part of every person's life. My trauma, my

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pain is not more important than your pain and trauma. And my

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pain is not more valuable than your pain. It is all very

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subjective and cannot be taken personal even though it is very

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subjective. We all go through similar pain And the triggers

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might be very different, right? The one person might just go

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through a divorce after 30 years of marriage, another couple here

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just lost their baby, right after birth, another couple have

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just lost their dog and they had to put their dog down. And it

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has all the same intensity of pain. But the trigger is very

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different and to not judge people by why they feel certain

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pain, but to see that we all go through these stages of grief

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and pain and loss, can bring us closer together and will raise

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our empathy and compassion that we could have for each other if

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we were to see that. And by not taking your pain, your trauma

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personal, you also stay in a place of empowerment, right? An

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empowered person, a strong person with a big heart and

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strong mind. And resilience, soul will go through pain, but

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if that person doesn't take the circumstances, personally and

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makes it about themselves, but just sees it as an opportunity

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to show up as a human to show up authentically. That is a very

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valuable thing to do. And to remember that next time you go

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through pain and disappointment, that I mean, it sounds very

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cliche, but there's always a learning there is always a good

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side to all the bad that we're going through. And there's

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always something beautiful happening within us, when we are

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going through pain, right? If you go through a breakup, and

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miss the person intensely now that is not in your life

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anymore. You can feel that you are alive. You felt alive when

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you were in love, and when you were close to that person, but

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now that you feel this pain, you feel so real, you feel like you

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prioritize your life very differently, you might neglect

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yourself a little bit and abandon yourself a little bit.

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But then catch up again, and know that the scar turned you in

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such a more humble, loving, compassionate person, if you

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choose to. Because pain if we take pain personally, and if we

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take pain as a punishment, it can transform us into bitter

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beings, very weird beings. I believe that all the sociopaths

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out there and all the people who do weird shit, went through

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intense trauma and made the wrong conclusions about life

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afterwards. And then they run around with a distorted view

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when it comes to people and life in general, and it's just, yeah,

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just a weird in the video. So you can choose to see that pain

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can be a force that brings out the true you. It can be an

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experience that will make you show up more authentically in

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the future that will make you connect with people that maybe

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went through similar trauma and overcame the pain and struggles

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and now you can inspire each other or you can help other

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people out who will in the future go through similar pains

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that you are going through right now. But to really ask yourself,

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to which degree and that's what I talked about my last episode,

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that how much you identify with your pain,

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to which degree you let pain be part of your identity of your

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true self. And I feel we can all let go a little bit more of our

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past pain and when we close our eyes of course when you're

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driving. Don't close your eyes if you operate Eating machinery,

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don't close your eyes. But later on maybe tonight, just before

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you fall asleep, imagine a river. And imagine lead box that

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is right in front of you. And into that box you pour every

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pain, every burden, that you're still carrying around

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disappointment, very specific situations that you might have

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gone through recently.

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And you stuff everything into that box. And you close that

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box. And you lift it up and you feel the heaviness of that box.

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All the pain, all the regret, all the suffering is in that box

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and side of that box now in your hands. And all the learnings,

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all the ways that those pains have changed you for the better

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or close to your heart, they still inside of you. And to then

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go closer to that river and to put that box into the river. And

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to let it float away. If you have a sarcastic monkey mind

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like I do, I would right away say well, a heavy cardboard box

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that plays into the water is not going to float away, it's just

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gonna sink to the bottom and dissolve. But maybe it's a

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different kind of box, maybe it's a plastic container with

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air, and you put all the BS inside of it that you don't need

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to carry around anymore. And you let that contain a float away

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until you cannot see it anymore. And maybe you can feel it

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already that something is detaching from you something

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wants to let go. Something wants to just get outside of you. And

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that is the pain that you don't need to carry anymore. The

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disappointments the more we cling to weird conclusions to

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our suffering to taking things personal. The more we close

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ourselves off to the beauty of life, to everything that people

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and life have to offer for us. So it is very valuable practice

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to let go. And to know that you're safe. And to know that

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you overcame all the struggles and you're here now to continue

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to live your life in this present moment and into the

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future with fresh eyes with a beautiful open mind. And a big

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one hawk and heart

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I'm gonna leave you with this. And I want to thank you for all

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the messages and feedback that I received from you guys from all

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over the world. It's very, very precious to hear from you and to

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learn about your experiences. And to know that I can bring you

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peace and love. And yeah, I can bring you a little bit closer to

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yourself to who you truly are. That makes me feel so good that

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I can be a part of your journey. So thank you so much for being

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here for listening. And if you would like to then I'll meet you

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in the next episode. hopefully very soon, but certainly still

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in this year. We only had December 18 today so yes, I will

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certainly show up. Also on Facebook with a live video. If

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we haven't connected there yet. Just Yeah. Give me a shout.

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Aurora Eggert. Profile Facebook, take really good care of

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yourself. Have a big glass of water. That's what I'll do now.

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And I will be out there fairly soon.