0:05

Good evening and welcome to my humble podcast bold I am Cocoa Griot, just a 50 something who is so excited to talk to you dear listener about life love, and a plethora of other topics. I don't know about you but every month when I look at my credit card bill, I examine the number of subscriptions that I have like subscriptions to Netflix and I think about how am I ever going to let these things go? Then I remember the reason that I get these services is because of the way they are finite in my mind. I don't think I'm going to be paying for Netflix forever. There's a kind of temporariness to the relationship between me and the company I'm subscribed to. So that started me thinking about how love is today when everybody is swiping to shop for love like you shop for a premium video streaming service or you shop for your groceries through a delivery service. Does love deserve more than what we give to our subscription services?

01:25

Tonight I want to ask a question, is it time to cancel the subscription mentality of love? The reason I believe we have a subscription mentality of love is based on three aspects of the current mindset about relationships. Number one, when you are shopping for love, you are making comparisons between people to say what amenities do I get over here as opposed to getting over there? Now that's fine when you talk about a video streaming service or even how you're going to get your groceries, but are we really being fair to ourselves if we are searching for love that way? Now I'm not knocking online dating if that's your thing, my personal experience with it has not been that great, but I am a 50 something so that might account for the slim pickings that I had to go through. But all kidding aside, I really do wonder if in our mind when we go through these catalogs of men or women or whatever we're shopping for, we just think this is not necessarily Mr. or Mrs. Right, but Mr. and Mrs. Right now until I'm offered a better deal. And it really concerns me because I think we sell ourselves short and relationships short because we're so hung up on this fear of missing out. This FOMO mental battle of if I go with Choice a choice B might come along and there's probably more of that for me than I'm going to get with Choice a. That is like comparing what's on Netflix and Hulu and deciding who you're going to go with based on the offerings of that particular subscription service. 

02:32

Another way that I truly believe we are treating love like a subscription service is when it comes to commitment. Now what I said in the last Point kind of addresses it but I want to drill down even more. Someone told me that do you know you can look at marriage or marriages as just a series of events that you participate in your lifetime? I sat back and thought about that and I said there was nothing in my marriage vows that said until you feel like flipping to another Channel go ahead and focus on this channel. But that was kind of the equivalent of it. In other words when you get bored with this program, just call up another program. Call up another service and you're good. That is not how I view marriage. The vows are pretty clear if you choose to take them. In sickness and health And for richer or poorer really means something to me. I can't look at marriage as just an event I attended because it was something to do at the time. It's deeper for me than that. It means connecting with another individual and being there for one another throughout all of life's challenges no matter what comes along. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened in the end before my husband passed away. I had no idea that I will be changing his diapers before he left this planet. But I did that because of those words in sickness and in health and I also knew that if the shoe was on the other foot he wouldn't hesitate to do the same thing for me. We have to know that who we couple ourselves with is not just with us for who we are today, but that they have a love for us that is genuine and sincere so that no matter what changes about us, their love is still there for us. I don't think the subscription model of love supports that.

04:24

 My last point about the subscription model involves relationships being transactional. When the price changes for one subscription service and it's lower but you can still get the same value or amenities, many of us would jump ship and go to that different service. If we have a relationship that is built on the solid connection we have we won't move so quickly. It is imperative that we understand the difference between transactional relationships and actual relationships. Let me give you an example of what I mean. There is a culture that teaches young people to get all they can from a person who is willing to give it to them. It's almost like a business saying we're going to squeeze everything we can out of this customer in this one transaction, we don't care about having a customer for life, it's about what can we get in our one-time pass with this person. The rise of the demise of young people who have been on these Only Fans sites and having relationships for money, is frightening. I don't want young people worshipping money to the point where they will do things that can end their lives. It is not right to teach any young man or woman that their bodies, their Essence, everything about them is for sale. When you put a price tag on who you are, you open yourself up to a myriad of problems that can enter your life. I expect Netflix and Hello Fresh to have a subscription rate, not someone I want to spend my time or my life with. I want to hear from you! Is it time to cancel the subscription mentality of love? Please let me know your thoughts by reaching out at cocogriot@gmail.com.

Let me share this quote with you before I go. This is from positivitic.com. “A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you don't go out and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb.” Marinate on that for a minute.

06:09

Thanks for listening this evening and as always I wish you good health, good fortune, and a good night! Cocoa Griot out!