Bob Miller: Remember The Room

[00:00:03] Jason S. Bradshaw: Hi, and welcome to this edition of chats with Jason. Of course, I'm your host, Jason S . Bradshaw, and this is the show where we help you transform the experience to transform your business.

[00:00:18] Jason S. Bradshaw: Now, today's guest is a little bit left of field to some of the guests we've had on recently, but I'm absolutely positively sure, 1000 percent that you're going to get some great insights out of this conversation, because we're talking today with Bob Miller, the author of "Remember The Room: How To Remember Everyone You Meet At An Event." And I know if you're anything like me, when you're going to an event, you always forget one key name of the person you really didn't want to forget.

[00:00:54] Bob Miller: I'm glad to be here.

[00:01:02] Bob Miller: Well, it came about through a series of events over the years. I, was a professional magician for 20 years and that's where I accidentally started doing this with my audiences. One time I was at an event, there was about 20 people there, and I said, well, I don't normally ask my audience their names, because, you know, what's the point? But I was doing walk around magic and doing tricks before the big stage show, and so I just asked people their names and I wasn't trying to remember everybody. But when I got up on stage, I realized that I knew everybody's name, so I just said, well, I'd like to personally greet each one of you. And I said everybody's names and it was instant applause. It was, it was like I had done an amazing magic trick, you know, and as a performer, I pay attention when I get applause, I said, I'm going to try that again. So, I just kept on practicing and I got better and better at it. So as a performer, I was doing that. Then, I'm no longer a full time performer, but I'm working, I'm a marketing director for high power data solutions. It's a tech company in the Twin Cities. And, since I'm the marketing director, I'm always going to networking events. So I was really putting this into practice a lot and, I just had lots of opportunities to learn how to do this. And over the years, I've also taught memory training so all of that just came together and I said, well, I'm going to put this down into a book finally. Well, I do have a two hour Remember The Room workshop, and so basically this is like the workshop printed.

[00:02:34] Bob Miller: You can read through it pretty fast, but it's all the content. Plus it's the stories that I've got from the networking events and to show the application of how I use the memory skills. So it's been, you know, a lot of years and coming, but , I'm surprised I didn't write it sooner, but I understand why I didn't because I had to have all these factions together.

[00:03:14] Bob Miller: The business application is when you go to an event, say there's 50 people in the room. They're not all going to be your prospects, right? I mean, depending on your business, I suppose, but for the business that I'm in, not everybody is a prospect. Or if their prospect, you know for this point in time, they may not be. So the goal is not to say I'm going to remember 50 people because they're all going to be my prospects and I'm going to call them all up, but it's so that I can hold those names in my memory while I'm at the event, and then I can focus on who is going to be a good prospect as I get to know them. And I don't have to go up to this person again and say, what, what was your name again? A lot of times, the strategy that I'll do is that I will, when the event is over, I'll just sit at the exit. And when somebody comes by that I want to talk to, I'll call them by name. Well, they're going to stop, right? Because if I know their name, obviously I must be a friend or a business acquaintance or something. So, the door is already opened to the business discussion. So it gives me that power to pick and choose who I want to talk with as a prospect.

[00:04:38] Now there's 11 different sections in the book. Memory power, the key that opens the door to more is where you start. And you end with, with providing resources to the reader. Out of the book, do you have a favorite chapter or a favorite tip or hint that you can share with the audience?

[00:06:54] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah well, relationships in general and

[00:06:58] Jason S. Bradshaw: that Sue in your story you know, I can appreciate she would have gone into that interview, high stakes potentially, really wanting the job, mind going at a thousand miles an hour,

[00:07:09] Jason S. Bradshaw: Gets five names thrown at her and, and, you know, her mind's still like 30 minutes down the track going, I need to remember to talk about X. Yeah, I really feel for her. So, you mentioned that we have to, I'm going to paraphrase, but, you know, be intentional about

[00:07:27] Jason S. Bradshaw: knowing the name and using the name. Have we always had this problem where, you know, if we were to roll back the clock 30 years, where people are struggling with remembering people's names as much then as they are now? Or is it a symptom of constantly being bombarded with information and distraction?

[00:08:39] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So look, listen, and link. Can you give us a rundown, just a brief rundown on what each of those three steps are?

[00:09:38] Bob Miller: So when I say you're going to look at a significant feature, it should be prominent because it will be something that you will notice the next time you see them. If you look at me you'd notice I'm follically challenged, okay, so you're

[00:09:53] Bob Miller: So you you may want to use that as as your memory hook or if a person has a very unique maybe face structure or something, or if they've or if they've got, you know, sometimes people have colored hair now but something unique or if they've got an eyebrow ring or something, or freckles on their face, but you're really going to look at their face like you've never really looked at a person before and just choose one characteristic that you're going to use as your memory hook. That's the first step.

[00:10:24] Bob Miller: That's look.

[00:10:32] Bob Miller: Listen, this is one of the hardest points because it involves not just hearing the name, but doing an active process of converting the name into a memorable object. And what I mean by that is that it is hard to remember a nonsense syllable or nonsense word. And basically names are nonsense words. You know, what is a Jeremy or a Karen or, you know, what is a Leslie? It's, it's just a name. It has no meaning whatsoever. And we're trying to attach that name, something that has no meaning to somebody's face. Well there's a missing variable in between there. And that is that you need to convert the name into something that is memorable. For my name, Bob. You could convert it into something that is visual, like say a fishing bobber, if you know what that is. And so, if you just do only that one step, that will help you. If you only do the one step of just really studying their face, that will help you. But you convert their name into something memorable. So you've got an image.

[00:11:42] Bob Miller: For example, Lisa could be leash as in dog leash, or there's a lot of names that, you know, you have to choose something that sounds sort of similar. Like if you hear a Pete, you can think of a beat or a beater.

[00:11:58] Bob Miller: Then there's a lot of names that automatically are visual images, like the name Forrest or the name John. So whatever you can come up with an easy image for a name, that's great. But, so the hardest part I would say is you come across a name you haven't heard before. And so you've never, ever converted it into a memorable object before. So then you have to take a second to think about that.

[00:12:23] Bob Miller: But that gets easier with practice.

[00:12:41] Jason S. Bradshaw: So we've got look, get that visual understanding

[00:12:45] Jason S. Bradshaw: yeah,

[00:12:51] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah.

[00:13:03] Jason S. Bradshaw: Mm hmm.

[00:13:07] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yes.

[00:13:13] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah, certainly from the work in, you know, hosting this show, there's been a number of guests where I've had to say beforehand, how do I pronounce your name? And then, you know, instances even where I've had to, after the recording, go back and re record the name, just because, not because the guest had asked for it, but just because I had got to know the name better and I could pronounce it better.

[00:13:40] Bob Miller: Yes. So at this point, you've really got two visual items. You've got a visual item on their face. Maybe you're going to look at their eyebrows, like if they got a unibrow, that's going to be unique. And then you've got their name, which you've converted into an object. So, for example, for the name Jason, believe it or not, for that I think of the mask from the movie Friday the 13th. So that's what I always think of with Jason. So you've got these two characters. You've got two visuals now. You've got a visual for the name and you've got a visual their face. And now you link it together in a funny and humorous way. For example, in my book, I tell people to imagine my head as being a giant fishing bobber. You look at my follically challenged head and you imagine a fishing bobber, which is red and white

[00:14:31] Bob Miller: red plug on the top. And I tell them, you have to really see it in your mind's eye. You make that image. Okay. So then when I see Jason, I'm going to imagine him wearing this mask that reminds me of his name or whatever it is, you make a funny characteristic and you link them together.

[00:15:43] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah.

[00:15:50] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah. Fascinating stuff. I'm, I'm seeing all the, all the dots are connecting for me. And I guess my question for you is, knowing the theory is one thing,

[00:16:01] Jason S. Bradshaw: And it's really easy to, to know the theory. Some people will go, oh, it's going to take me too long to master it. So you know, with this practice is obviously going to make perfect with most things, right? But how do you suggest people get started in improving their memory, their ability to know every name in the room?

[00:17:33] Jason S. Bradshaw: Now memorymagic .info is your website. We're having an interesting chat about some challenges you had with domain names beforehand. But I noticed that memorymagic .info obviously there's ways for people to get the book and some other resources, but you have a free email course as well.

[00:17:52] Jason S. Bradshaw: So what's included in that?

[00:18:04] Jason S. Bradshaw: Right.

[00:18:25] Jason S. Bradshaw: Well, that's a great free resource and we'll be sure to link in the show notes, I should say but also other ways that people can follow your work and, and start to improve their memory. Certainly something that I need to sign up to that course. I'm terrible with names. I can describe the person to you, but sometimes I just can never pull their name. So as I've been reading your book, I've not finished it yet, but I've been loving the, the anecdotes, the stories and the really actionable insights.

[00:19:06] Bob Miller: That's a great question. And it is what's called a self limiting belief. If you say to yourself, I have a terrible memory, you're training yourself to believe that. I had a problem with this when I was learning this as a professional magician. I got to a mental plateau of only 40 names. If the audience was less than 40 names, I would try to remember people as I'm doing my walk around magic and I would recite their names from stage. But if there was more than 40, I was too intimidated and so I didn't try. I finally got over that mental roadblock. Well, I thought, well, if there's 80 people there now, I only remember half of them. That won't seem very good. then I got over that. I said, well, it's still 40 names.

[00:19:49] Bob Miller: So I got over that. And then that led me to get better and better. So actually I got up to the point where I got up to 80 names. And, if people go to my website, they'll find a YouTube link where they can see me recalling 80 people at once.

[00:20:12] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah.

[00:20:18] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yep. Okay. Great. So good to understand what stops most people and the clear message there is stop the negative self talk and, prove yourself wrong, really. So leading into it, you can't use something you've already said today. I apologize. But what's the one thing an audience member should do today or in the next 24 hours after listening or watching this show to help them remember every name in the room?

[00:20:47] Bob Miller: I would say self talk. When you see somebody, it's okay to be thinking about things about the person, maybe about how they look and, definitely say their name mentally to yourself. You know, repeat that. And if possible, say the name back to the person, and I don't mean to repeat it, to say it over and over to the person, but be sure you use their name as soon as you hear it. Because you'll remember yourself saying their name and that

[00:21:16] Bob Miller: something that will help you.

[00:21:43] Jason S. Bradshaw: It has been an absolute pleasure, Bob, having you on the show today. Other than your website, how else can people follow your work?

[00:21:57] Jason S. Bradshaw: Fantastic.

[00:22:00] Jason S. Bradshaw: Yeah.

[00:22:03] Jason S. Bradshaw: Well,

[00:22:06] Jason S. Bradshaw: Okay, fantastic. Well, we'll be sure to link to that as well. And again, thanks for your time today.

[00:22:15] Jason S. Bradshaw: Thank you