In this special episode, Kate sits in the guest chair as her dear friend Leah Brathwaite — founder of the Live Free Lifestyle — turns the tables and interviews her. Together they explore what it really means to live free: beyond the buzzwords, beyond the “shoulds,” and beyond the stories we’ve been told about who we’re supposed to be.

This conversation is raw, soulful, and filled with truth bombs about what it takes to create a life that’s truly yours — not one built from old conditioning or expectations.

They share:

• The deeper layers of what “freedom” actually means to her now
• How to know if you’re still living from someone else’s script
• The courage it takes to let go of the life that looks good but doesn’t feel good
• Why real freedom always begins inside you
• How her journey from “good girl” to Unscripted Woman continues to evolve

Whether you’re starting over, redefining success, or simply longing to feel more alive — this conversation will spark something inside you.

Tune in to remember: You were never meant to live by anyone else’s rules. 

Resources & Next Steps:

FREE Discover Your Saboteur Mini Course: https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/discover-your-saboteur

Subscribe to The New Truth & leave a review if this episode resonates deeply

Explore The Immersion with Kate: https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/the-immersion

To book a Free Call to explore working with Kate - click the link below: https://calendly.com/expanded-love/exploration-call-clone

About the Guest:

Leah Brathwaite is a best-selling author, transformational coach, founder of the Live Free Method and host of the Live Free Lifestyle Podcast.

About the Host:

Kate Harlow is the founder of The Unscriptd Woman, the creator of The Expanded Love Coaching Method, and host of The New Truth podcast - ranked in the top 1.5% globally. With over 15 years of experience teaching, coaching and facilitating transformational retreats worldwide, Kate has helped hundreds of thousands of women break free from outdated relational patterns, old patriarchal ways of thinking and unspoken rules to live by. 

Her infallible methods guide women to release the deeply ingrained scripts that keep them stuck- empowering women to step into their highest, most magnetic, and fully expressed selves. Through her coaching, retreats, podcast and upcoming book The Unscriptd Woman, Kate is redefining what it means to be an empowered woman in today's world, showing women how to stop waiting for permission and start creating a life and love that aligns with their deepest truth. 

Known for her rare ability to see exactly where women are out of alignment with themselves, Kate offers a path back to unwavering self- trust, meaningful joy and true fulfillment. Her work is a revolution - one that liberates women from societal expectations and invites them into a life of radical authenticity, thriving relationships and unshakable self-worth.  

Website:  https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/

The Immersion in Corfu, Greece April 26- May 3, 2026 https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/the-immersion

Thanks for listening! It means so much to us that you listened to our podcast! If you would like to continue the conversation with us, head on over to our Facebook group, the New Truth Movement at https://www.facebook.com/groups/209821843509179/

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Podcast Artwork Photo Credit: Photo by Tarja Ruuska https://www.instagram.com/tarjaruuska.photography

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Kate Harlow: 00:00:00

Retreats brought me to Kenya. I fell in love the

Kate Harlow: 00:00:02

second day I was here, I was like, I think I want to live

Kate Harlow: 00:00:05

here. And that made no sense at the time. And now, a year later,

Kate Harlow: 00:00:09

I followed my heart and I'm here kind of indefinitely. I have

Kate Harlow: 00:00:13

rented a cottage for six months, but I told the owner today. I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:00:16

like, probably I'll just stay here forever. It's just I am so

Kate Harlow: 00:00:20

alive and happy here, and that's living free is like really,

Kate Harlow: 00:00:25

truly living from the pulse of my heart and the nudges and the

Kate Harlow: 00:00:29

deep desires and my soul. Hello, my loves. Before you get into

Kate Harlow: 00:00:34

this week's episode, I wanted just to share a little context

Kate Harlow: 00:00:37

with you about it, as it's a little bit different. This

Kate Harlow: 00:00:40

week's episode is a conversation and interview that I had on my

Kate Harlow: 00:00:44

dear soul sister and beautiful friend Leah brathwaite's

Kate Harlow: 00:00:48

podcast. It's her new podcast. She's been teaching women work

Kate Harlow: 00:00:53

very similar to mine. Her method is called the live free

Kate Harlow: 00:00:56

lifestyle, and she's an author, a soul advisor, a Kundalini

Kate Harlow: 00:01:01

instructor, Human Design Guide. She kind of weaves all of her

Kate Harlow: 00:01:04

soul magic together into her work, and she invited me on her

Kate Harlow: 00:01:09

podcast called The live free lifestyle. And she has these

Kate Harlow: 00:01:13

incredibly powerful conversations with many

Kate Harlow: 00:01:15

different teachers and healers and coaches on how they actually

Kate Harlow: 00:01:19

broke free and started to live freely. So this conversation is

Kate Harlow: 00:01:24

really her interviewing me, and I thought I would share it here

Kate Harlow: 00:01:27

too, because it was a really fun, beautiful conversation. Of

Kate Harlow: 00:01:30

course, we both share our wisdom and just have a really deep chat

Kate Harlow: 00:01:33

about what it really means to be liberated and free of the

Kate Harlow: 00:01:36

scripted life of, you know, being the women we've been

Kate Harlow: 00:01:39

conditioned to be and how to really go your own way. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:01:44

hope you enjoy this episode, and as always, share it with all the

Kate Harlow: 00:01:48

women in your life who need a little liberation, who need to

Kate Harlow: 00:01:51

live free, and I'll see you soon. Enjoy.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:00

Welcome back to another episode of The Live,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:02

free Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Leah Brathwaite, and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:06

today I have a very special guest to welcome to the show.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:10

She is a love and relationship coach, host of the new truth

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:14

podcast, founder of the expanded love method, and one of my

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:18

nearest and dearest soul sister friends. Kate Harlow, welcome to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:23

the show.

Kate Harlow: 00:02:24

Kate, thanks. Whoa. It feels good to be here. I was

Kate Harlow: 00:02:29

on part of the like crew of initiating you into doing this

Kate Harlow: 00:02:34

podcast.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:35

You've been doing yours for like five years.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:38

Five years now, I think, yeah, yeah. I've been hearing over and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:41

over, you should do a podcast. It's the best thing ever. And

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:44

you were so right. But you know, we do things when we are ready

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:47

to do things. So, so happy to be having this conversation with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:51

you today, because I mean not just the fact that you're one of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:54

my favorite people, but our stories have this cool,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:58

interwoven kind of synchronicity to them that I think is really

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:02

fun to explore on this episode, and also you just have so much

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:06

wisdom to share. So I'm excited to just hear what comes up

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:09

through this conversation. But I want to kind of kick things off

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:12

with the way that I kick off every one of these episodes and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:17

ask the question, what does it mean to you to live free? This

Kate Harlow: 00:03:20

is such a good question. It's so yummy. I have

Kate Harlow: 00:03:24

to go back and listen to all the interviews, all the

Kate Harlow: 00:03:26

conversations with people's answers. What does it mean for

Kate Harlow: 00:03:30

me to live free? Well, I've been on a journey for 20 years of

Kate Harlow: 00:03:35

untethering from the scripted version of who I was taught to

Kate Harlow: 00:03:38

be, and liberating my heart and soul to live a life that's for

Kate Harlow: 00:03:43

me, and so I'd say that's it like living an unscripted,

Kate Harlow: 00:03:49

unapologetic life that is fully from my own body, my own soul,

Kate Harlow: 00:03:54

my own heart, that's not for anyone else, not asking

Kate Harlow: 00:03:58

permission or even opinions of other people, but making choices

Kate Harlow: 00:04:03

based on what is so true for me. And I just made a big one. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:04:07

think like I'm in the land of the free, the true land of the

Kate Harlow: 00:04:10

free. I'm I just moved to Kenya after my heart, brought me here

Kate Harlow: 00:04:15

in 20 life. Brought me here in 2024 and as you know, made this

Kate Harlow: 00:04:19

huge transition. I've been living I've been living abroad

Kate Harlow: 00:04:22

for a while, been living in Greece for almost four years,

Kate Harlow: 00:04:25

and retreats brought me to Greece. I fell in love with

Kate Harlow: 00:04:28

Greek culture, fell in love with Greek people, and moved there on

Kate Harlow: 00:04:32

a whim, as you know, like total spontaneous covid reaction to an

Kate Harlow: 00:04:38

airplane I couldn't get on and move there in a moment. And the

Kate Harlow: 00:04:42

A similar thing happened with Kenya, where I retreats, brought

Kate Harlow: 00:04:45

me to Kenya. I fell in love the second day I was here, I was

Kate Harlow: 00:04:48

like, I think I want to live here. And that made no sense at

Kate Harlow: 00:04:52

the time. And now, a year later, I followed my heart, and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:04:56

here kind of indefinitely. I have rented a cottage for. Six

Kate Harlow: 00:05:00

months, but I told the owner today, I'm like, probably I'll

Kate Harlow: 00:05:02

just stay here forever. It's just I am so alive and happy

Kate Harlow: 00:05:07

here. And that's living free is like really, truly living from

Kate Harlow: 00:05:11

the pulse of my heart and the nudges and the deep desires in

Kate Harlow: 00:05:15

my soul. Yes,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:17

so beautiful. And I think that's one of the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:20

things that we connected on so deeply. So when we met, I had

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:24

just moved to Vancouver, covid time. We just entered lockdown

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:30

right when I got there. And I had been traveling in Thailand,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:34

I lived in Toronto, and that sort of thing. On my own journey

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:37

of living free, as I call it, or yields in your language, it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:40

like living that unscripted life of following the calling of your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:44

soul to allow what is moving in you to be the thing that guides

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:47

your way. So my deepest core belief is that when you follow

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:51

your soul, it will lead you to a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:55

And the relationships that I found in Vancouver, you being

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:00

one of them were like soul mate relationships with women that I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:03

had never had before, and that was one of the things that we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:06

really connected on this idea of what it means to live free. We

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:10

were both doing work around the same theme, but in very

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:15

different ways. And you had mentioned that to you like at

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:19

the beginning, when you were saying what it means to you to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:21

live free. It was this untethering of all of the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:25

confines, all of the constructs, all of the conditioning that you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:29

were brought up with. And it's not to say that it was all bad,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:34

like we know our parents are trying the best with what

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:36

they've got, and society is what it is. But I'm curious if you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:40

can share a little bit about what that experience of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:43

untethering was like for you. So in most of my conversations with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:48

others, there's this, what I call the oh shit moment where

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:51

you realize, like, oh shit, I have the opportunity to make a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:55

different choice here, maybe in the past, not knowing what I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:58

didn't know. I kept repeating the same patterns. But right

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:01

here, right now. This is a moment where my soul, my heart,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:05

my being, is telling me that there is another way for me to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:08

do this. There is a more liberated and free way for me to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:11

be. So I'm curious if you have an oh shit moment that comes to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:14

mind, or if you can share a little bit about what that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:18

untethering or unwinding process has been like for you

Kate Harlow: 00:07:22

that is so funny, because when we were talking

Kate Harlow: 00:07:26

before we hit record, we were joking about you introducing me

Kate Harlow: 00:07:29

as my my legal name, my OG name, and I was like, don't really do

Kate Harlow: 00:07:36

that. And then I was like, unless it comes up organically.

Kate Harlow: 00:07:38

But of course, this is the first place where I started to walk

Kate Harlow: 00:07:41

away from the script because I so my for those of you who don't

Kate Harlow: 00:07:47

know me, my legal name is Andrea, Kathleen Irwin, and I

Kate Harlow: 00:07:51

had a grandfather that called me Kathleen. My whole life.

Kate Harlow: 00:07:53

Everyone else called me Andrea, and no one understood why he

Kate Harlow: 00:07:56

called me Kathleen, but we you know, I was very close with him,

Kate Harlow: 00:08:00

and I didn't understand either, but I always responded to it.

Kate Harlow: 00:08:03

And I changed my name, as you know, when I was 25 I'm 44 now,

Kate Harlow: 00:08:06

so almost 20 years ago, I've almost been, you know, Kate

Kate Harlow: 00:08:10

Harlow, longer than I was my other name, it's like almost at

Kate Harlow: 00:08:13

the tipping point. But I changed my name from Andrea to my middle

Kate Harlow: 00:08:18

name, Kate. Kate, short for like Kathleen, but Kate, but

Kate Harlow: 00:08:22

actually, Katie was the first iteration of it, and that at 25

Kate Harlow: 00:08:26

years old was the most hardest confronting fucking thing I'd

Kate Harlow: 00:08:29

ever done in my life. Like so confronting because I was

Kate Harlow: 00:08:35

ultimate good girl, ultimate people pleaser, oh, like

Kate Harlow: 00:08:38

following the script to a T fantasy, love addict, like

Kate Harlow: 00:08:41

everything I teach women to no longer be I was at the time, and

Kate Harlow: 00:08:46

my whole world. Every decision I made was based on other people's

Kate Harlow: 00:08:50

opinions, and everyone judged me for this one all of my closest

Kate Harlow: 00:08:54

friends, the only person who allowed me to even play with the

Kate Harlow: 00:08:58

idea of changing my name was my boyfriend at the time, Charlie,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:02

and he was an actor. So he had multiple names because he was an

Kate Harlow: 00:09:04

actor. And like, he'd go by his middle name at home and his

Kate Harlow: 00:09:07

first name in Vancouver and and so he encouraged it, because I

Kate Harlow: 00:09:12

had, he had found out that I hated my name, and he was like,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:15

You're 25 years old. Like, are you seriously gonna go by a name

Kate Harlow: 00:09:19

you hate for another like, what if you lived to be 175 years?

Kate Harlow: 00:09:22

And I was like, Well, yeah, yeah, because people will judge

Kate Harlow: 00:09:27

me. Like that was actually torture to imagine not being

Kate Harlow: 00:09:32

having everyone disown me and and the worst case scenario kind

Kate Harlow: 00:09:37

of happened. I went through the like, we started to play with it

Kate Harlow: 00:09:40

at home. He started calling me Katie, and that was he

Kate Harlow: 00:09:43

introduced me as Katie. And it started to feel like, Oh my God.

Kate Harlow: 00:09:45

I think this is me. I think like, because I never felt like,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:48

Andrea my whole life was just like, this coat doesn't fit.

Kate Harlow: 00:09:51

This coat doesn't fit even when I was a kid. And so I started to

Kate Harlow: 00:09:55

resonate more and more with it. And I finally came to the

Kate Harlow: 00:09:57

decision, I'm like, okay, the internal does. Desire for me to

Kate Harlow: 00:10:00

be in alignment with who I really am is stronger. This is

Kate Harlow: 00:10:03

really important than the caring what other people think about

Kate Harlow: 00:10:08

me. So I was willing to walk through the fire for the first

Kate Harlow: 00:10:11

time that I think that was actually my biggest initiation.

Kate Harlow: 00:10:14

I sent an email to everyone I knew. It's kind of like pre

Kate Harlow: 00:10:16

social media. So I was like, I'm officially changing my name.

Kate Harlow: 00:10:20

This comes from my middle name. Here's why, here's the

Kate Harlow: 00:10:23

reasoning. And the people who got on board were my family. I

Kate Harlow: 00:10:26

talked to my parents about it before sending the email, but my

Kate Harlow: 00:10:29

family were so supportive. All my cousins, all my aunts and

Kate Harlow: 00:10:32

uncles, didn't skip a beat. Never called me Andrea again. My

Kate Harlow: 00:10:35

grandparents, even when they had dementia at the end of their

Kate Harlow: 00:10:38

lives, never went back like they always called me Katie, and then

Kate Harlow: 00:10:42

eventually I became Kate. And then a year before, I started my

Kate Harlow: 00:10:45

business, so over 10 years ago, I decided, like, I just had this

Kate Harlow: 00:10:49

feeling, I'm going to be known one day, and I didn't want to be

Kate Harlow: 00:10:51

known as Kate Irwin. And then I had this epiphany in the bath,

Kate Harlow: 00:10:55

and was like, Harlow is my great grandfather's name, and he was a

Kate Harlow: 00:10:58

preacher and very impactful Australian guy, very inspiring

Kate Harlow: 00:11:02

man. And so that's where Harlow came from. So they all were

Kate Harlow: 00:11:05

pieces of me, but but claiming them the first time, once I got

Kate Harlow: 00:11:10

to Harlow, you know, 10 years ago, I didn't care what people

Kate Harlow: 00:11:13

thought. It didn't matter anymore. I was like, no. What

Kate Harlow: 00:11:16

matters is how I feel. But at the time, in the beginning, the

Kate Harlow: 00:11:19

first several initiations, or the first several years of the

Kate Harlow: 00:11:23

journey of becoming who you really are, you have to be

Kate Harlow: 00:11:26

willing to burn everything down to the ground and walk through

Kate Harlow: 00:11:30

the fire. And I literally lost all my friends. Like everyone I

Kate Harlow: 00:11:32

was close with at that time no longer stayed close with me.

Kate Harlow: 00:11:37

They never told me why, but it was so obvious. But it was

Kate Harlow: 00:11:41

because energetically, you know this, they could they weren't

Kate Harlow: 00:11:44

aligned to come with me. They couldn't come with me because

Kate Harlow: 00:11:47

they weren't they were devoted to the script, to the to the

Kate Harlow: 00:11:51

predetermined, pre ordered life, not the unscripted, like

Kate Harlow: 00:11:57

unknown, mystical, mysterious, magical life that unfolds when

Kate Harlow: 00:12:02

we follow our souls. Totally.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:05

Yeah. So there's so many things in that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:07

sharing that are so important, like nuggets that I kind of want

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:11

to touch on. So one of the first things is like, there comes a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:14

moment, and like I said at the outset of this, like, you've

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:16

been telling me you should do a podcast, like, ever since we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:18

met, basically, and that was like, in 2020 and you can only

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:22

do something when you get to the point of being ready to do

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:25

something. And it's like the the not for another second moment. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:29

had that in my kitchen where I was like, I've been doing all

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:32

the things being the good girl. This is my dream house, but I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:36

cannot live this life for another second. So there's this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:39

point that there's probably whispers over and over, like you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:43

said you were hearing like, I hate my name. I've hated my name

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:45

for 25 years. There were like little whispers over and over,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:48

until you get to that I'm done moment where you're like, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:51

can't do this anymore. And that's where you kind of enter

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:54

the second phase of your life, where you are living for

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:58

yourself, where you are reclaiming who you're actually

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:01

meant to be and how you actually want to live your life, but

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:05

that's the really important thing that you mentioned. Once

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:07

you walk through that threshold and you're like, Okay, I'm no

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:10

longer going to be the good girl, I'm no longer going to be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:13

the people pleaser, I'm no longer going to worry about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:16

making everybody around me happy. I'm going to actually

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:21

decide what makes me happy. That's when you get to see the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:24

truth of the relationships that you've been in and beautiful,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:27

that your family was like, super supportive, and that you had

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:31

kind of that backing, and Charlie was really supportive,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:34

so you had, like, a bit of a foundation. But we get to see

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:38

when we are our true selves, and we're no longer bending over

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:42

backwards and like breaking our own boundaries and abandoning

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:45

ourselves who's left. And I think that's the reason why so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:50

many people don't make the changes that they feel are

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:55

stirring within them. I know for myself, it was the reason why I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:58

didn't leave my religion until I was 30, because I was like, If I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:01

leave, I lose everything that feels really scary, and it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:06

like, there's no turning back. It feels like But truly, on the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:10

other side of that is your authentic self. Is your your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:16

soul expression. It's the life that you are actually here to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:19

live. And there's growth, and there's pain, and there's grief,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:23

and there's all these human things that the uncomfortable

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:27

bits that we try to avoid, but when we're able to be with those

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:31

things, I love, the the way that you speak to it, it's like this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:35

expanded love that is available to us. So my question for you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:41

is, if you're throwing away the script and you're creating a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:46

life that lights up your soul, for a woman who spent her entire

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:50

life following everybody else's rules, what would you say is the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:55

first step to unscripting her her life? Like, how, how would

Leah Brathwaite: 00:15:01

you suggest taking the first step from that for us, like, we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:15:05

kind of did it on our own, not knowing, but for somebody who's,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:15:07

like, I would really love a pathway. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:15:12

don't, yes, you know. And I was thinking what

Kate Harlow: 00:15:15

you said about, like, what we lose when we follow our truth in

Kate Harlow: 00:15:18

our heart and who we lose along the way. You know, the the the

Kate Harlow: 00:15:22

big thing that we lose is anxiety and incongruency. We

Kate Harlow: 00:15:27

lose like the reality is, you think you want everyone's

Kate Harlow: 00:15:31

approval, but that's what's creating your anxiety every day,

Kate Harlow: 00:15:35

because you're living your life for everybody but yourself. But

Kate Harlow: 00:15:37

once you get on board with your own truth and your own

Kate Harlow: 00:15:40

congruency and getting into alignment with who you really

Kate Harlow: 00:15:43

are. You You don't need anyone's approval, nor do you give a

Kate Harlow: 00:15:48

shit. Like when I moved to Kenya, not for one second did I

Kate Harlow: 00:15:51

ask permission. Did I ask people's opinions? I was like,

Kate Harlow: 00:15:55

Oh, my God, my heart and soul, and nobody questioned it

Kate Harlow: 00:15:58

directly. I mean, maybe indirectly. But you know, I

Kate Harlow: 00:16:00

Canadian girl from Vancouver, moves to Africa, like I'm sure

Kate Harlow: 00:16:04

lots of people, I have friends who moved here, and everyone

Kate Harlow: 00:16:06

challenged them about moving here, all their family members,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:09

all their friends. And for me, it's like, Absolutely, I'm going

Kate Harlow: 00:16:16

and it's, it's, it's, my life is my own. And at this point,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:19

people are so used to, yeah, my life being my own, that they

Kate Harlow: 00:16:24

know we know, challenge me. Yeah, in the beginning, it's

Kate Harlow: 00:16:27

like in the beginning of our journey, we it's like all the

Kate Harlow: 00:16:31

people in our scripted life, they've been hired to keep us

Kate Harlow: 00:16:34

there so that they'll call you back. Oh, no, no. What are you

Kate Harlow: 00:16:37

doing? That's crazy. Don't be silly. What are you gonna like?

Kate Harlow: 00:16:40

They'll challenge you because they're looking through the lens

Kate Harlow: 00:16:44

of their limitations, and they're going to project them

Kate Harlow: 00:16:47

onto you, because if you leave, then that's going to shake

Kate Harlow: 00:16:50

things up, and they're going to have to look at themselves in in

Kate Harlow: 00:16:52

some way, and they're going to risk losing you, or they're

Kate Harlow: 00:16:55

going to have to grow and change. So it's their opinions

Kate Harlow: 00:16:58

aren't about you anyways, but know that those people that are

Kate Harlow: 00:17:03

are living from that script itself. I call it your saboteur,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:06

your conditioned self. It's not who you really are when, when

Kate Harlow: 00:17:09

you step out of that, everybody in your life will challenge you.

Kate Harlow: 00:17:12

And when you get to my plate, like the place where I'm at and

Kate Harlow: 00:17:15

you're at where we've been doing this for 1520, years, people

Kate Harlow: 00:17:19

don't they don't challenge you anymore, because you your life

Kate Harlow: 00:17:23

is your own. You're no longer available for that, so you no

Kate Harlow: 00:17:26

longer attract that. But it's kind of part of the initiation.

Kate Harlow: 00:17:29

In the beginning, it's like, Nope, I'm changing my name no

Kate Harlow: 00:17:31

matter what. And like, everything burns to the ground,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:33

and that willingness to keep moving your feet forward, even

Kate Harlow: 00:17:36

though it feels uncomfortable and horrible and like you're

Kate Harlow: 00:17:38

doing something wrong, and all of the the emotions that come

Kate Harlow: 00:17:41

up. But to answer your question about the first step, you know,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:45

when I'm working with women, I have them first get really

Kate Harlow: 00:17:48

intimate with their saboteur, their conditioned self. So

Kate Harlow: 00:17:50

actually, have a mini course that I'll give you, that we can

Kate Harlow: 00:17:53

link below the episode of saboteur. It's called the

Kate Harlow: 00:17:57

expanded love. I don't even know what it's called, anyways, it

Kate Harlow: 00:18:01

helps you identify the five saboteur archetypes. It's on my

Kate Harlow: 00:18:03

Instagram as well, but the five saboteur archetypes that are

Kate Harlow: 00:18:07

playing out for you that your conditioned self is operating

Kate Harlow: 00:18:10

in. So the first step, I believe, before we can just burn

Kate Harlow: 00:18:13

the script and like, become something else, we have to get

Kate Harlow: 00:18:16

intimate with the character we've been playing and, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:18:18

really get to know her and all her nuances and all her sneaky,

Kate Harlow: 00:18:22

manipulative ways that she keeps you, quote, unquote, safe and

Kate Harlow: 00:18:26

comfortable, but actually she keeps you anxious and miserable

Kate Harlow: 00:18:29

and never feeling safe. But she'll convince you that she's

Kate Harlow: 00:18:33

keeping you feeling safe, because the reality is, when you

Kate Harlow: 00:18:36

were a child, that part did keep you safe, like you, we don't

Kate Harlow: 00:18:40

have choices. Children, we don't have choices. Teenagers, other

Kate Harlow: 00:18:43

people are dictating what we do, who we who we surround ourselves

Kate Harlow: 00:18:46

with, where we go. You know, school teachers like we're in so

Kate Harlow: 00:18:51

many situations when we're young that we don't want to be in, and

Kate Harlow: 00:18:55

so that's when we develop these protective mechanisms, the

Kate Harlow: 00:18:58

saboteur, conditioned self, the persona that has you surviving

Kate Harlow: 00:19:04

whatever you're going through in your childhood, whatever you

Kate Harlow: 00:19:07

know ways that you're who you truly are, is being repressed,

Kate Harlow: 00:19:10

and so we needed that adaptive part of ourselves as a kid, but

Kate Harlow: 00:19:14

as an adult, that is the part that stops you from being all of

Kate Harlow: 00:19:18

who you are. It stops you from living a life that's fully for

Kate Harlow: 00:19:21

you and aligned with you. So step one is getting intimate

Kate Harlow: 00:19:25

with your saboteur, getting to know her, getting to know this

Kate Harlow: 00:19:28

persona that you've developed. My clients name that part like,

Kate Harlow: 00:19:32

one of the most popular names there's been is Monica. Any

Kate Harlow: 00:19:35

clients that are super type A and super Control E, like Monica

Kate Harlow: 00:19:38

on friends and like super clean. So that's been the saboteur name

Kate Harlow: 00:19:42

a few times, but they name that part and get to know that part,

Kate Harlow: 00:19:44

because there's something so incredibly powerful when you

Kate Harlow: 00:19:47

externalize the part of you that is your conditioned self, and

Kate Harlow: 00:19:52

she's just protecting a Wounded Little girl, and as long as

Kate Harlow: 00:19:56

she's making the decisions, really a little girl is at the

Kate Harlow: 00:19:59

helm of your life. And choosing your life and and so you'll

Kate Harlow: 00:20:02

never feel safe, you'll never feel secure, you'll never feel

Kate Harlow: 00:20:04

confident, powerful, like anxiety will always be

Kate Harlow: 00:20:07

underneath and so and then, from that place, once you you you

Kate Harlow: 00:20:12

have a clear picture of who you've been behaving as to

Kate Harlow: 00:20:17

survive your childhood, self sacrifice or control or

Kate Harlow: 00:20:20

isolator, Shape Shifter, fantasy addict, these are the five

Kate Harlow: 00:20:24

archetypes. But once you start to really get to know that part

Kate Harlow: 00:20:28

of you, then you can see all the beautiful parts that have been

Kate Harlow: 00:20:30

shut down because she's been leading your life. And then you

Kate Harlow: 00:20:34

start to get to know your desire and get to know those heart

Kate Harlow: 00:20:37

pulses and those things you've been repressing, those truths

Kate Harlow: 00:20:40

you've been repressing, or those desires or those feelings.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:43

Yeah, it's so powerful, and I love what you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:45

said about when we're children, we're we're manifesting through

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:50

our parents. We don't have full control over ourselves. We have,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:54

like, this tether to this superior being that has

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:58

authority and that has dictatorship over what we can

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:02

and can't do. So not only does it shape who we think we are in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:06

the world, it also dictates what we think is available to us. So

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:09

if our parents are like, we can't afford that, or that's not

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:12

for us, or people like us don't do that, we grow up with these

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:16

beliefs and these programs that that continue to run. So like

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:19

you said, it's like a seven year old driving a Mercedes. You have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:22

like the power or like a Ferrari, you have this infinite

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:26

power that is available to you, but it's the wrong part that is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:32

driving the ship. So that reorientation to the authentic

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:37

version of yourself, I call it your soul. You You call it your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:40

heroine. I think it is has to come from first becoming aware

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:45

of what's not working. And I think that's a really important

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:49

thing to acknowledge, like our feelings, and I say this, I feel

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:53

like in every episode, but our feelings of dissatisfaction, our

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:57

feelings of frustration, our feelings of depression, even,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:01

and anxiety. I thought I was diagnosed with depression and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:05

anxiety because my doctors just thought that's who I was, but I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:11

was living so in opposition to my truth that that's just a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:14

natural reaction. It's like this continuous battle within

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:18

yourself. You're constantly repressing yourself that leads

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:23

to a feeling of being depressed, and then you're constantly

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:26

second guessing yourself and not trusting yourself and doubting

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:29

yourself, that creates so much internal anxiety. And so what

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:34

becomes available to us on the other side of that, when we're

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:38

like, okay, I can now separate these two parts. I have this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:41

conditioned version that I love because she got me to this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:44

place. Like this is not about shaming any parts. It's about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:47

saying, Okay, this adaptive strategy is no longer working.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:52

Like it was an adaptation that got me to this point, but I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:55

gotta let it go. That's when the higher self and not like higher,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:01

as in better, because I truly believe that both parts are

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:04

necessary, but the part that's connected to your infinite

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:08

nature, your Divine Self, your deepest desires, your deepest

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:12

truth, your mission, your purpose, all of that fulfillment

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:15

that we're all seeking. That's when that version of you gets to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:18

come online, and when she's the one driving the Ferrari, it

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:23

becomes the most beautiful experience, but the part that I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:29

think most people aren't not that they're not prepared for,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:34

but the part that continues to evolve. And that's why in the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:37

work that you do, and in the work that I do, the live, free

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:40

method is something that you do over and over again. It's not

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:42

like, Oh, I'm healed, I'm fixed. I know who my saboteur is, or I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:45

understand my patterns. It's the continual evolution of that.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:51

It's the upward spiral of unwinding more of that, so that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:54

more and more of your truth gets to be expressed. And that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:58

creates this need to find certainty within yourself,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:03

because you are constantly pressing up against the unknown

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:06

when you throw away the script and you're no longer following

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:10

what I call the checklist, where I'm like, Okay, I've got college

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:13

degree, I've got husband, I've got house, I've like, we're no

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:17

longer doing the get the nine to five. Retire at 65 and hopefully

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:21

enjoy your life. You are creating it, constantly

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:25

manifesting it, constantly co creating it, and it takes you to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:29

places that you will never imagine, like you probably never

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:32

imagined that you would be living in Kenya, like, even when

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:35

we met, I don't think that was on your radar. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:24:38

didn't even know anything about Africa at the

Kate Harlow: 00:24:40

time, nothing other than like, Oh, I'll go there when I'm 70

Kate Harlow: 00:24:43

and do a safari. Like, yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:44

that would be nice. It's a bucket list that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:46

we'll get to maybe. Like, the things that become available to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:50

you are incredible, like, the fact that I live here in Malibu

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:53

with this most incredible man is not anything that was on my

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:57

radar even two years ago. So it. Becomes the you become the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:03

author of it. You recognize that even though at one point you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:07

were manifesting through your parents and there was limitation

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:10

and maybe there was lack, and there was all of these

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:12

circumstances that felt that they were outside of your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:14

control, you start to realize that you are so much more

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:18

powerful than you ever imagined. And the more that you're in this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:23

work and like revealing more parts of yourself and really

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:26

connecting to something greater than yourself, the more you get

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:29

to see just how much magic is available to you. So I know you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:35

work with a lot of women when it comes to their relationships,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:40

and I know like the category is relationships, but it touches

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:43

all parts of their lives, but I would love to know what is the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:48

connection that you see between a woman's relationship with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:51

herself and the quality of romantic partners that she

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:54

attracts and and when does that kind of shift become apparent to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:26:00

her When she's doing this type of work.

Kate Harlow: 00:26:01

Well, it's always an inside job. I have over 300

Kate Harlow: 00:26:05

podcast episodes that have like, you know, every every title is

Kate Harlow: 00:26:10

like something. Not every title we've done episodes outside of

Kate Harlow: 00:26:13

relationships and dating and love, but like, most of them,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:16

have been that, and every title is like, you know the truth

Kate Harlow: 00:26:20

about ghostinger, like, why he didn't call you back, or

Kate Harlow: 00:26:23

whatever. It's like some top of mind problem, and then they open

Kate Harlow: 00:26:26

the door and that to the episode, and every episode is

Kate Harlow: 00:26:28

like, it's an inside job, everything. The majority of

Kate Harlow: 00:26:31

women who I've worked with over the years have been women who

Kate Harlow: 00:26:34

checked all the boxes, who are divorced, not all, but I'd say,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:38

like, probably 90% of my clients are divorced women who have

Kate Harlow: 00:26:42

kids, who have an ex husband, who have, you know, gone through

Kate Harlow: 00:26:46

all that journey, many of them divorced to narcissists. That's

Kate Harlow: 00:26:48

been a common thread as well, but they land on my doorstep.

Kate Harlow: 00:26:52

Then it was so sweet. I actually had a call with a woman who was

Kate Harlow: 00:26:55

interested in joining the journey, and she's like, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:26:57

know if it's right for me, though, because I haven't

Kate Harlow: 00:26:59

finished checking the boxes yet, like as if she's not a fit

Kate Harlow: 00:27:02

because she hasn't checked all the boxes. I'm like, No, you're

Kate Harlow: 00:27:05

lucky. That's a good thing, because all the women who did

Kate Harlow: 00:27:08

check the boxes, you know, just got to get a husband, just got

Kate Harlow: 00:27:11

to get a you know, got to get married, got to have kids, got

Kate Harlow: 00:27:14

to get the house, got to get the thing, got to get the thing.

Kate Harlow: 00:27:16

They wake up one day like Elizabeth Gilbert and Eat, Pray,

Kate Harlow: 00:27:19

Love, and feel like I'm dead inside. I don't want to be

Kate Harlow: 00:27:22

married anymore. I don't want this life anymore. And she had a

Kate Harlow: 00:27:25

pretty great on paper life. That is the most common story I see.

Kate Harlow: 00:27:29

And the reason I attract mostly women like that is because

Kate Harlow: 00:27:32

they're ready, because they the ones who are younger I do work

Kate Harlow: 00:27:36

with. You know, 10% of them that are younger, that haven't

Kate Harlow: 00:27:39

checked the boxes yet, and just their souls are hungry and ready

Kate Harlow: 00:27:42

earlier. But the reason a woman post divorce posts like just

Kate Harlow: 00:27:47

like you, post the perfect scripted on paper Instagram life

Kate Harlow: 00:27:52

is ready for, for this is because she she sees how empty

Kate Harlow: 00:27:56

those things are. Because it's not about those things, you

Kate Harlow: 00:28:00

know, and we've been fed messages our whole entire lives

Kate Harlow: 00:28:03

that, you know, especially as women, that if we are not in a

Kate Harlow: 00:28:06

romantic relationship, people are constantly questioning it,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:09

so that has us feel insecure and in discord. I think about myself

Kate Harlow: 00:28:13

like, I'm single, quote, unquote, right now, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:28:15

identify with that word. I'm just me. I'm like me when I'm in

Kate Harlow: 00:28:18

a relationship, I'm me when I'm single, I'm the exact same. I

Kate Harlow: 00:28:20

don't feel different. I'm not like, Oh no, I'm single. Gotta

Kate Harlow: 00:28:24

go do something to get something like, I'm just living my life,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:28

and things come to me. So the fear that women have when they

Kate Harlow: 00:28:31

start the journey of falling in love with their own soul and

Kate Harlow: 00:28:33

their own life is that they're going to not need a relationship

Kate Harlow: 00:28:36

anymore, and therefore not have one. That's the opposite. It's

Kate Harlow: 00:28:39

like when just like your story, when we live from the truth of

Kate Harlow: 00:28:43

who we are, when we follow our hearts and souls desire, and we

Kate Harlow: 00:28:47

walk through the threshold of fear, because there's always

Kate Harlow: 00:28:49

fear. I had it before, you know, before I came to Kenya, and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:28:52

on the other side like, oh my god, this is home. Like I could

Kate Harlow: 00:28:56

cry. I've never felt more at home than I do right now, in my

Kate Harlow: 00:29:00

little cottage in on the land I'm living in, with the friends

Kate Harlow: 00:29:03

I'm surrounded by, with the community I'm building, like

Kate Harlow: 00:29:06

it's so aligned and love, like my life is love. I am love. I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:29:14

in a loving, deep, deep, deep, reverent relationship with

Kate Harlow: 00:29:16

myself. When my stuff kicks up and my little me is there and my

Kate Harlow: 00:29:20

saboteur is loud, which, you know, the further along I've

Kate Harlow: 00:29:24

gone on the journey, the deeper I've gone into myself, the less

Kate Harlow: 00:29:26

often that happens. But when the hijacks happen, I know how to

Kate Harlow: 00:29:30

love myself through it. I know how to be with myself through

Kate Harlow: 00:29:33

the contracted feeling, and then I come back to that expanded

Kate Harlow: 00:29:36

feeling. And my life is love, all my sisterhood relationships,

Kate Harlow: 00:29:39

like I always say on the podcast and to my clients, there's not

Kate Harlow: 00:29:43

one woman in my life who doesn't have an epic life like I do, who

Kate Harlow: 00:29:46

doesn't have who isn't so expanded take responsibility for

Kate Harlow: 00:29:49

everything she's feeling. You know, inspiring, doing epic

Kate Harlow: 00:29:54

things in the world, making an impact, having great love

Kate Harlow: 00:29:57

stories, but like deep, meaningful. Real Love, where

Kate Harlow: 00:30:00

it's not just a fantasy painted onto someone, and then we just

Kate Harlow: 00:30:03

like, fit them into our script, and we're like, Oh, there's the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:06

guy, there's the kids, there's whatever, stick them in the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:08

storyline. And then you're like, wondering why you ache every

Kate Harlow: 00:30:11

night when you're laying in bed beside this person. It's not

Kate Harlow: 00:30:15

about the person, but it's about the part of you that chose the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:18

relationship. It's about the part of you that chose to get

Kate Harlow: 00:30:21

married. It's not about the thing itself. I'm not saying

Kate Harlow: 00:30:25

I'll never. I'm 44 I've never chosen to marry. Will I never? I

Kate Harlow: 00:30:28

don't know me. I'm not close to anything, but I'm I'm so

Kate Harlow: 00:30:33

grateful I learned to live from my fullest, most expansive part

Kate Harlow: 00:30:37

of me, from my soul, for my heroine, so that when I do make

Kate Harlow: 00:30:41

the choices, they're my truth in the moment. They're not some

Kate Harlow: 00:30:44

idea of what I'm supposed to be. And so when I work with women

Kate Harlow: 00:30:48

and they separate from their saboteur, she's your roommate

Kate Harlow: 00:30:51

always going to be there, you learn to love her. You learn to

Kate Harlow: 00:30:54

sit with her when she needs attention and love, but learn to

Kate Harlow: 00:30:57

put her in the backseat, not let her drive the Ferrari. She, if

Kate Harlow: 00:31:01

there's room in the back seat, I don't know if they have back

Kate Harlow: 00:31:03

seats. Never been in a Ferrari, but she, you know, when you

Kate Harlow: 00:31:07

learn to not have that Wounded Little Girl and that that her

Kate Harlow: 00:31:10

sidekick lead and you let the heroine of your story lead your

Kate Harlow: 00:31:15

life, you build a life of love. And then even when the right

Kate Harlow: 00:31:19

love, romantic love, comes along. You're not needing it.

Kate Harlow: 00:31:23

You're not siphoning. You're not it's not a vampire relationship

Kate Harlow: 00:31:27

where you're expecting them to behave in a certain way so you

Kate Harlow: 00:31:29

feel better about yourself. That's just the wound at the

Kate Harlow: 00:31:32

wheel. When you're actually in alignment with all of who you

Kate Harlow: 00:31:36

are, you call forward someone who also is. And then when your

Kate Harlow: 00:31:39

shit does come up, which it will, because relationships

Kate Harlow: 00:31:42

mirror all of our stuff. We like it's it's there for your next

Kate Harlow: 00:31:46

level of growth. You know how to tend to your own heart through

Kate Harlow: 00:31:49

it, and how to bring your vulnerability to the

Kate Harlow: 00:31:52

relationship so you can deepen together, as opposed to project

Kate Harlow: 00:31:55

your shit all over each other and then blame them and then go

Kate Harlow: 00:31:57

somewhere else or whatever other pattern.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:31:59

Totally, totally. Totally. I love that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:01

response so much. And the thing that I love about you, I mean,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:05

it's hilarious. Like, every time we catch up, you're like, Oh my

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:07

God, my new best friend, or oh my god, I love this person, or

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:09

oh my god, I met this other person. You have so many soul

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:13

mate relationships in your life, and I think women are often

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:17

looking for like, the one person that is gonna be the thing. And

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:20

I'm not discounting that at all. It is a beautiful thing to be in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:23

a like an aligned relationship, if that's what you desire. But I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:29

love what you said that my life is love, that you become a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:32

magnet to all of these beautiful opportunities and relationships,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:37

and the fact that everybody in your circle is somebody who is a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:41

soulmate, somebody who is like on their journey, on their path,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:44

living their life in the same aligned way. I think that is so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:48

powerful and so beautiful, and it brings so much more meaning

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:51

and fulfillment to our lives. Instead of like, I'm going to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:54

put all of my effort on one person, and they have to satisfy

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:57

all parts of my life, otherwise, I'm I'm not okay. I think it

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:02

really is important for us to and I teach the same thing, to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:05

really have a solid relationship with ourselves, because then we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:09

can consciously choose what is in alignment with us. I just did

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:14

a podcast with our friend Mark groves, and he said something

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:18

beautiful. He's like, if you're not free to leave a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:20

relationship, you're not free to choose that relationship. So if

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:24

you need this person to complete you, then you're not free to be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:30

in that relationship. There's like a codependency, there's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:32

like a tether that doesn't actually let you experience

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:37

liberated and expanded love. And I think it's so important to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:42

take time to do the work, even if you are in a relationship,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:45

doing the work. I mean, some people like you said, are afraid

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:48

to do it, because they're like, I'm not going to need anybody.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:51

And if I'm in a relationship, like, what's that going to mean

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:53

for my relationship? But like you said, some of the women that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:58

come to you, they've come after all of these decisions that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:02

they've been making from their seven year old driving the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:05

Ferrari, and they're like, wait, I just crashed into a wall, and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:08

I have all the things, but I don't want any of this. Yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:11

but I think for myself, I realized this obviously later,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:16

not making decisions maliciously. But the more you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:19

build your life out of alignment and out of integrity with the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:23

truth of your soul, the more there is to kind of, like, sift

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:26

through and sort through and uncreate so that you can start

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:30

rebuilding in this new aligned way. And so if you're at a point

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:34

where you're like, you said, like, wanting a person, or you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:38

haven't, like, checked all of the boxes yet, or you're like, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:40

don't feel like I can do this type of work, because I still

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:43

have to do this type of work, like, quote, unquote, the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:46

checklist to complete. It's often the perfect time to start

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:52

doing things, when you're in a place of transition, or when

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:55

you're in a place of like, having a big decision to make,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:59

if you can come. Come to a place of truth within yourself, it'll

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:02

be so much easier for you to make that decision in a way that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:06

is going to build something sustainable for the future,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:09

instead of something that's just going to need to be kind of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:12

undone later on in life. And the final thing that I wanted to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:15

kind of touch on, on what you said, is, like the fear is, is,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:18

I want to say the fear is real. It's not real, it's not real,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:21

but it is real. It's like the story that we tell ourselves.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:24

Because I think it's Pema Chodron that says, I can't

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:28

remember if it's the book when things fall apart, or the other

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:31

book that I can't remember the name of it, but she says

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:33

something, not these exact words, but like, fear is a sign

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:37

that you are getting closer to the truth. So when you come up

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:40

to that point where you're like, oh gosh, my heart is calling me

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:43

to Africa, like, I'm gonna move to Kenya. This is kind of crazy.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:46

I already moved to Greece. I already did something scary. But

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:49

the deeper truth is, like, there's more. There's like,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:52

always more to discover about yourself. There's always more to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:55

uncover, to experience. And when you are leaving the thing that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:59

you're comfortable with to go to the thing that is unknown but

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:02

that you're feeling called towards, there will always be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:06

fear. There will always be like a part of you that's like, what

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:10

does it mean for me? Am I going to die? Am I going to be okay?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:13

Like I've never been there before, so I have no idea. So

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:17

what would you say to somebody who is feeling that fear? I know

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:19

both you and I, we have conversations when we're about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:22

to level up and we know, like our saboteur is kicking up, or

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:27

our ego is really loud. Like, what are some of the things that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:30

you do to move through that, like fear barrier, that fear

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:36

threshold, so that you can feel the freedom and the expansion

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:41

and the truth on the other side

Kate Harlow: 00:36:42

of it. I love that. And, you know, I just, I think,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:47

celebrate that the fear is there, because it's an indicator

Kate Harlow: 00:36:50

that you're on the right path. It's your mind is constantly

Kate Harlow: 00:36:54

going to this, the controller archetype, fantasy controller,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:59

I'd say, is the biggest hybrid that has us believe that our

Kate Harlow: 00:37:01

lives are supposed to look a certain way. And it's like the

Kate Harlow: 00:37:04

per, I think of, you know, wild flowers, a white like, wild

Kate Harlow: 00:37:10

nature that I'm experiencing here in Kenya, versus, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:12

fucking manicured gardens, like your mind is going to want the

Kate Harlow: 00:37:15

manicured garden. Your mind is like, no, the grass needs to be

Kate Harlow: 00:37:19

cut perfectly and the bushes need to be in perfect squares,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:22

and it wants it to be, to look a certain way based on what it

Kate Harlow: 00:37:26

knows from the past, from from all the tapes, all the programs,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:29

all the movies, all the stories, all the other people's lives.

Kate Harlow: 00:37:32

You witness people who've influenced you. It that is all

Kate Harlow: 00:37:35

there. And when the fear is there, as you're moving towards

Kate Harlow: 00:37:38

something that your body feels yes to that. You feel that. Like

Kate Harlow: 00:37:41

every time I talked about Kenya, I would get turned on and my I'd

Kate Harlow: 00:37:44

feel tingly all over, and I just like, oh my god, it's such a

Kate Harlow: 00:37:48

strong feeling in my body. And your body knows your your body

Kate Harlow: 00:37:54

is your compass. It's your no your nose and your yeses are so

Kate Harlow: 00:37:58

clear in your body. And the more you slow down in your life and

Kate Harlow: 00:38:01

create space like if you don't meditate, if you don't go for

Kate Harlow: 00:38:04

walks, if you don't have time without your phone, if you don't

Kate Harlow: 00:38:08

create space from technology, create space from busyness for

Kate Harlow: 00:38:11

yourself, you won't hear clearly the messages. They'll be there,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:15

and like you talked about earlier, that is anxiety I have.

Kate Harlow: 00:38:18

I cannot tell you how many clients I've worked with who

Kate Harlow: 00:38:21

have told me, Kate, I have anxiety disorder. I'm on

Kate Harlow: 00:38:25

medication for depression, whatever. I am not a doctor. I

Kate Harlow: 00:38:28

don't tell them to go off anything. But guess what? Three

Kate Harlow: 00:38:30

months into our journey together, they all go off it,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:33

and they're like, holy shit. I was repressed. I was anxious

Kate Harlow: 00:38:37

because I was an out of my body, was an out of tune guitar

Kate Harlow: 00:38:40

because I kept saying yes when it was a no and no one it was a

Kate Harlow: 00:38:43

yes. So first thing is create space in your life, in your

Kate Harlow: 00:38:47

practices and your day to day life that allows you to feel

Kate Harlow: 00:38:51

your body, your own feelings and what, what your compass, your

Kate Harlow: 00:38:54

heart yes is, your gut knows, and then when the fear is there,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:00

thank you. Thank you for showing me like I knew, laying in bed

Kate Harlow: 00:39:04

and hearing, like the odd, it wasn't la it wasn't really loud,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:08

but like, every few nights, Regina, my saboteur, would wake

Kate Harlow: 00:39:11

me up and be like, What are you doing? Like, Kenya is dangerous,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:14

like, because of the news in Canada, I'm like, pretty sure

Kate Harlow: 00:39:16

America is more dangerous than Kenya. But like you're crazy,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:22

like your life is so good in Greece, blah, blah, blah, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:25

as if I could never go back to Greece again. And she would say

Kate Harlow: 00:39:28

these things, and I sit with my saboteur, because saboteur is

Kate Harlow: 00:39:32

kind of like the teenage babysitter of the child, of the

Kate Harlow: 00:39:35

wounded child. So I sit with her, and I'm like, when she gets

Kate Harlow: 00:39:38

really loud, and I just let her vent in my journal, but it's

Kate Harlow: 00:39:41

like Regina, regina's thoughts. You know, it's not me get

Kate Harlow: 00:39:45

externalizing it, that that's a game changer. So you just

Kate Harlow: 00:39:49

externalize it, regina's thoughts. You know, this is the

Kate Harlow: 00:39:52

story. Blah, blah, blah, blah, what am I feeling underneath?

Kate Harlow: 00:39:55

Fear, anxiety, nervousness, what? What's that caused by?

Kate Harlow: 00:39:58

Because I'm going into a new experience. Experience, okay.

Kate Harlow: 00:40:00

Thank you so much. You know, let myself fully feel the feeling

Kate Harlow: 00:40:04

without feeding the story. The story needs to be vented. It

Kate Harlow: 00:40:07

needs to be expressed once, but then I let it go. I don't go

Kate Harlow: 00:40:11

tell the story to other people. It's just like, it's just okay,

Kate Harlow: 00:40:15

it's there, but it is literally fear is the indicator that you

Kate Harlow: 00:40:20

you start to distinguish the difference. The more you have

Kate Harlow: 00:40:22

space and slow down and get to know the nuances of your your

Kate Harlow: 00:40:25

inner guidance system, you start to know the difference between

Kate Harlow: 00:40:29

fear and a no in your body, right? Some I get asked that a

Kate Harlow: 00:40:32

lot, how do you know the difference fear? I always feel

Kate Harlow: 00:40:36

it like outside it's like resistance. It's like, all of a

Kate Harlow: 00:40:39

sudden there's like, thick fog, and I can't walk through the fog

Kate Harlow: 00:40:41

because it's like, oh god, what's out there? I can't see

Kate Harlow: 00:40:43

it. I don't know it. Versus not getting in a car with someone

Kate Harlow: 00:40:46

because you have a gut feeling that something bad is going to

Kate Harlow: 00:40:48

happen. That's like in the body. So you start to pay attention to

Kate Harlow: 00:40:51

those differences. But when you have fearful thoughts that are

Kate Harlow: 00:40:55

creating feelings in your body, those are just stories. That's

Kate Harlow: 00:40:58

the program, the program, every system we've ever been a part of

Kate Harlow: 00:41:02

has taught us to be afraid, has taught us to not be brave, to

Kate Harlow: 00:41:06

not be courageous, to not take big steps, to not take risks, to

Kate Harlow: 00:41:10

not do things against the grain, because we're much more easily

Kate Harlow: 00:41:13

controlled when we're in fear. And we saw that with covid play

Kate Harlow: 00:41:16

out like a perfect orchestration of fear mongering, so And yet,

Kate Harlow: 00:41:21

you can live inside of this world and these systems, and you

Kate Harlow: 00:41:25

can walk differently, and you can walk towards the door that

Kate Harlow: 00:41:28

has fear. I like to think of it as like the door that has fear

Kate Harlow: 00:41:31

graffitied all over it, fearful stories. And you're like, cool,

Kate Harlow: 00:41:35

this must be something big. And you open the door, and you walk

Kate Harlow: 00:41:39

through that threshold like the moment I couldn't get on the

Kate Harlow: 00:41:42

airplane. I was in Greece, and I was 2021, I planned to go to

Kate Harlow: 00:41:46

Costa Rica for the summer or for the winter, and then I was going

Kate Harlow: 00:41:50

to go back to Vancouver, but I always wanted to live in Europe.

Kate Harlow: 00:41:53

I couldn't get on the plane going from Greece to California

Kate Harlow: 00:41:56

to visit my parents and then on to Costa Rica. And the woman's

Kate Harlow: 00:41:59

like, no, Greece is a red zone. I'm sorry. It was like 430 in

Kate Harlow: 00:42:01

the morning, and I was like, and I was like, crying. Like, what

Kate Harlow: 00:42:04

do you mean? I haven't seen my parents in like, four months,

Kate Harlow: 00:42:06

and I'm going away to Costa Rica. Like, I have to see nope,

Kate Harlow: 00:42:09

Greece is red zone. You can't go to America right now unless you

Kate Harlow: 00:42:12

have a green card or a passport, American passport. And i Tears

Kate Harlow: 00:42:16

are streaming down my face, and I was like, oh my god, something

Kate Harlow: 00:42:19

big is about to happen. Like, I'm being redirected. I just

Kate Harlow: 00:42:21

knew I had a feeling. It wasn't a fantasy, it wasn't a story.

Kate Harlow: 00:42:24

Was just a feeling, like, cool. I was like, allowing myself to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:28

feel it, but also like, cool, something's happening. I went to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:31

my friend's house to rebook my flight and jig and not go

Kate Harlow: 00:42:34

through America and go, you know, directly from Europe to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:37

Costa Rica, and my friend says, Kate, why don't you move to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:40

Greece? And I was like, what? And something lit up inside my

Kate Harlow: 00:42:43

body. Is like, move to Greece. And I'm like, it's a great idea.

Kate Harlow: 00:42:45

He's like, You love it here. How do you move here? And so I just

Kate Harlow: 00:42:48

booked a round trip ticket, because I still it was kind of

Kate Harlow: 00:42:50

cold in Greece at the time, and I wanted to go to Costa Rica

Kate Harlow: 00:42:53

still for a few months. And I was visiting Andy. I had plans

Kate Harlow: 00:42:55

there, so I booked a round trip ticket, and then I moved to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:58

Greece, not even knowing. People are like, Kate, how are you

Kate Harlow: 00:43:01

staying in Greece? Like, you don't have a European passport?

Kate Harlow: 00:43:04

And I'm like, Oh, I don't know. I'm sure, like, I've been re

Kate Harlow: 00:43:06

orchestrated, so I'm sure it'll work out. And then I get to

Kate Harlow: 00:43:09

Greece, and, like, two weeks in, find out there's this new visa

Kate Harlow: 00:43:12

called the digital nomad visa, which I was qualified for. I

Kate Harlow: 00:43:15

didn't know that before, so, like, but this is the life. I

Kate Harlow: 00:43:19

mean, every freaking facet of my my work in the world, I've been

Kate Harlow: 00:43:22

doing coaching for like, 17 years, but my specifically, my

Kate Harlow: 00:43:27

business for almost 10, and my podcast for five. And every

Kate Harlow: 00:43:31

single my coaching method, everything that has come through

Kate Harlow: 00:43:34

me. None of it was my mind. None of it was like, why should be a

Kate Harlow: 00:43:37

loving relationship. Literally, it was all divinely guided,

Kate Harlow: 00:43:41

because I surrender to that guidance and then walk through

Kate Harlow: 00:43:44

the threshold of fear, because that is the next level of

Kate Harlow: 00:43:47

yourself

Leah Brathwaite: 00:43:49

so powerful. I love that so much. It's what I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:43:54

teach. Like the first lesson in the live, free method is listen

Leah Brathwaite: 00:43:58

for the whispers. Like, how do you listen for those nudges that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:02

your soul is kind of like whispering for you, and they

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:05

start as whispers until you ignore them, ignore them and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:08

ignore them, and then they have to come louder and louder. And

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:11

usually the loud revelations are some kind of like diabolical

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:17

situation in your life that you wish you didn't have to deal

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:20

with, that you're like, oh shit, I kind of saw that coming. Like,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:22

there's a party that's like, I knew, like, I kind of saw that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:25

coming. Yeah, it was a whisper, and then it was like a shout,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:28

and then it was like a bang on the head, and then it was, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:30

think it's mark that calls it the cosmic dump truck, where

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:33

you're like, oh shit. Now my life is messed up, whether it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:35

like a betrayal in your relationship, a job loss, an

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:39

illness that was one of my early wake up calls, like my body just

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:45

revolting against me, and all of a sudden I develop a nerve

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:47

condition lose function of my hand, not knowing that it was

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:51

because I was not listening to those whispers over and over

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:55

again. So I loved what you said at the beginning of what does it

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:59

feel like in your. Body like, how do you how do you feel like?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:03

What is you feel like without all of the the noise and the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:06

chaos, slowing down is so important, and I know for the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:11

Type A the high achievers, those are usually the clients that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:14

come to me. They're like, I am like a high powered

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:16

professional, like, I can't slow down. I've got so much going on,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:19

but all of that stuff going on is like a mechanism to keep them

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:23

from feeling what's actually going on on the inside. So

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:28

differentiating the difference between your fear and your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:31

intuition, or your anxiety and your intuition, between like

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:35

your your soul, your ego, your saboteur, your heroine, all of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:38

those things, the understanding, the you that is you is is really

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:44

the key to anything, of of being able to accomplish anything, and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:48

especially if you want to live a life that blows your mind, that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:52

allows you to have experiences that were once on your bucket

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:55

list, that you're experiencing now at 40 instead of 75 the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:00

African safaris are all of those things like, I truly believe

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:04

that our desires are divine direction. They are there to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:07

wake us up, to let us know that not only is it possible, it is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:11

meant for you to experience, but it requires you to surrender the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:15

mind and like the perfect, manicured plan that you think

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:18

you need to have, and allow those whispers to guide you,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:21

allow yourself to recognize like the redirection or the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:26

rejection, whatever you want to call it, is guiding you. And in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:30

every single moment of your life there is wisdom, there is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:34

guidance that is available for you, but you have to learn how

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:37

to listen, and then you have to learn how to follow that and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:41

have the courage to be able to do that. Both of us have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:44

methodologies that embolden women to be able to honor that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:48

part of themselves and truly live free and or in expanded

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:54

love. However, however we say it, it's kind of the same thing.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:56

It's like connecting to your Divine Self and letting that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:59

part be what moves you through the world? Oh my gosh. I feel

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:03

like we could talk for so many, like, hours or so many things

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:06

that I want to talk to you about Africa and your journey to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:09

Greece. But for me, I just wanted to say, like, it was so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:12

beautiful to watch you on this path, like from when I met you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:17

in Vancouver and we had, like, our first interaction. We had,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:23

like, our first friend date was like, what, eight hours or

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:25

something ridiculous, like that. We met, like, and did a workout

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:27

together that we were like, Oh my God. We just had so much in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:30

common. And we were like, talking and talking, and it was

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:32

the most beautiful friendship, but seeing your evolution, even

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:35

from then, and knowing how much you loved Greece, and then when

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:39

all of that kind of rigmarole happened, and you're like, I'm

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:41

moving to Greece, guys. Again, it was one of those things

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:44

where, at a time in the world where everything was like topsy

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:47

turvy, a lot of people probably would have been like, you should

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:50

just come home and stay home and I'm like, like, calm down. Like,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:54

why do you need to do that? But it was such a soul dream of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:57

yours coming true in the most magical way that kind of looked

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:01

like a bit of a train wreck, like, oh my god, I can't get I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:04

can't get to where I need to go. But it was like divine

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:06

orchestration. And then seeing how it unfolded you moving to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:09

Kenya, it's beautiful to see the way that you are living your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:13

work and continuing to show up. And not only like, show women

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:18

how to do this, but show yourself how to do this as well,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:20

because I believe so deeply that we teach best what we've most

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:24

needed to learn you needed to learn how to stand in your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:28

sovereignty. So did I in our own individual ways, and now it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:32

what we do in the world so and it's it's just been such a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:36

beautiful thing to be in this soul sister relationship with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:39

you and and walk similar but different paths, and it's just

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:43

been wonderful. So I wanted to just acknowledge that, because I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:46

just love you so much, but

Kate Harlow: 00:48:48

and witnessing your journey too, it's crazy that

Kate Harlow: 00:48:51

it's only been five years. I know because it was 2020 it's 25

Kate Harlow: 00:48:56

we met in June. It's only been five years that you've been in

Kate Harlow: 00:48:59

my life in five year, and yet you are a totally different

Kate Harlow: 00:49:02

woman, and I'm a totally different woman, and we've

Kate Harlow: 00:49:05

walked through so many initiations, and as you're

Kate Harlow: 00:49:09

talking, I was thinking like your saboteur will always want

Kate Harlow: 00:49:12

to know the future, and that is the very thing that robs you of

Kate Harlow: 00:49:16

the life that will make you feel alive, is knowing what the

Kate Harlow: 00:49:18

future what's coming. You cannot know what's coming, and we're

Kate Harlow: 00:49:22

not supposed to know. And it's in the sitting with the right

Kate Harlow: 00:49:26

now, like, oh, is Greece your forever place? I'm like, What is

Kate Harlow: 00:49:29

is Kenya for forever? I'm I made a joke that'll be here forever,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:32

but that's how I feel in this moment. It's like, let's see if

Kate Harlow: 00:49:36

you can hold your hands open to life and receive like, what

Kate Harlow: 00:49:39

lights you up right now knowing your saboteur is gonna kick in

Kate Harlow: 00:49:42

immediately after. I think of the time I got invited to be in

Kate Harlow: 00:49:44

a musical Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was such a Yes,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:48

and I was so excited. This is like, 15 years ago, and it was

Kate Harlow: 00:49:50

like, Oh my God. And then, literally, two seconds later,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:53

no, no, you're too busy. You're too this, you're too that.

Kate Harlow: 00:49:55

There's no way you travel. And I almost said no, because my

Kate Harlow: 00:49:58

saboteur tried to shut it down immediately. She thinks it's

Kate Harlow: 00:50:00

dangerous to be expanded, right? That's what she was hired for

Kate Harlow: 00:50:03

originally. So just knowing that that's going to happen, but the

Kate Harlow: 00:50:07

more you can just like, say yes to the things and make those

Kate Harlow: 00:50:11

brave decisions, like even you packing up your car and driving

Kate Harlow: 00:50:14

to America, like, there's just been so many poignant moments

Kate Harlow: 00:50:17

where we've said yes to something, not knowing what's

Kate Harlow: 00:50:21

coming, but just like, holding your palms open and being like,

Kate Harlow: 00:50:23

okay, yes, to this right now, let's see what it has in store

Kate Harlow: 00:50:27

for me, rather than like, Okay, I'm gonna move to Kenya, and

Kate Harlow: 00:50:30

then I better meet a guy, and then I better did. And then, or

Kate Harlow: 00:50:33

like, I'm I'm getting into this, I'm moving to California for

Kate Harlow: 00:50:36

this guy, and it better go this way, like all the fear based

Kate Harlow: 00:50:39

stuff that's trying to push us into some sort of false sense of

Kate Harlow: 00:50:42

security in the future, when your real sense of security

Kate Harlow: 00:50:45

comes from you being present in the moment and trusting the

Kate Harlow: 00:50:48

unfolding of your life.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:50:50

Amen, sister, amen. And I mean, that's the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:50:55

reason why, like, the final lesson in the methodology and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:50:59

the live, free method, is embrace the unknown, learning

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:01

how to do that, learning how to be okay with not knowing.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:05

Because not only is it our saboteur that's been hired to do

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:09

that job, it's our nervous system that is like we have to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:12

combine the two aspects of our soul, which is, like expansive,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:16

always going to be pushing the edge of more and what's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:19

possible. It's infinite. So of course, it's always going to be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:22

moving towards the next thing. But our human is finite. It's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:28

very limited, and it's got this nervous system that's coded for

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:31

survival. So it's our biology as well that we need to learn how

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:35

to regulate understand the cues of our nervous system, which is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:39

why it's such a big part of the work that I do, too, and I know

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:41

you do a lot of somatic stuff as well, but getting your body on

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:44

board and understanding that feelings are not final, they're

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:49

information, and that if you can learn to distinguish the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:53

language of your soul, which is what your feelings are, then

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:57

you're able to use that information to move through the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:02

unknown, to move through all these things, and of course,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:04

there's steps. It's not just like I understand my patterns. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:07

know that I hold myself back now I should be living free, like

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:10

there's, there's an effort that's required to undo those

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:16

patterns, to reprogram the subconscious parts of yourself

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:19

that have really been running the show this entire time. But

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:23

when you do like you said, it's it's expanded. You get to live

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:26

this life of beautiful surprises, of magic. It doesn't

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:32

mean that it's always butterflies and rainbows. It

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:35

doesn't mean that it's always easy. It's always simple. It's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:39

literally like, follow your soul. It knows the way I say

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:41

that all the time. It's simple and it's almost irritating,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:44

because when you're in the dark and you're like, in a transition

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:48

period, it's like, okay, well, what the hell do I do now?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:51

Because I feel really uncomfortable in this. So I know

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:54

you actually have something. We were talking a little bit about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:57

this before we started recording. I know you have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:59

something that's coming up to help women through that, but

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:02

before we well, I guess we can get into that now. But what I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:05

would love to know from you now is, what are you most excited

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:10

about, or what are you working on that you're excited about?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:12

What do you have to offer that you're excited about? What's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:16

something that your soul is feeling really alive and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:18

fulfilled with right now I'm most

Kate Harlow: 00:53:20

excited about my life right now, my new life

Kate Harlow: 00:53:24

here, and all the like. It's crazy that the people that Kenya

Kate Harlow: 00:53:28

and that Nairobi Africa, I think, and also Nairobi attracts

Kate Harlow: 00:53:32

like every person I've met is So expanding, expanded and creative

Kate Harlow: 00:53:36

and up to really big things. I'm currently writing a book called

Kate Harlow: 00:53:39

The unscripted woman. So excited about that, but it's still in

Kate Harlow: 00:53:42

progress. And books take time, but I'm just starting to get

Kate Harlow: 00:53:45

back into it. I wrote, worked on lots of it in the last year, and

Kate Harlow: 00:53:48

kind of have taken a long break. So very excited about that. And

Kate Harlow: 00:53:54

I have a, I have a course coming up called starting over, and,

Kate Harlow: 00:53:59

you know, relevant to anyone. It's, I mean, originally it was

Kate Harlow: 00:54:02

for women going through breakup, divorce. Like big change, big

Kate Harlow: 00:54:05

endings, moving, like what you know me right now, like big

Kate Harlow: 00:54:10

change in your life, and really allowing yourself to begin

Kate Harlow: 00:54:14

again, and allowing yourself to take this time and instead of

Kate Harlow: 00:54:18

use it, use whatever transition you're going through to wallow

Kate Harlow: 00:54:21

or to to re to stay stuck in the victim's story or the fantasy of

Kate Harlow: 00:54:26

how your life should be different. It's all it's a three

Kate Harlow: 00:54:30

day course all about helping you really take this time to reclaim

Kate Harlow: 00:54:37

yourself and your life and your sovereignty and and to rewrite

Kate Harlow: 00:54:41

your story and become the heroine of your own journey. So

Kate Harlow: 00:54:44

that's November 7 through ninth. It's just mornings each day,

Kate Harlow: 00:54:48

eight till 1030 Pacific. So three mornings, and I'll share a

Kate Harlow: 00:54:54

link below. It's $88 and so that's new, a new course coming

Kate Harlow: 00:54:59

up, but I'm excited. Excited about everything. Like, I have,

Kate Harlow: 00:55:01

like, so many like, show ideas, like, just wanting to take this

Kate Harlow: 00:55:05

work I've done for 10 years that has transformed hundreds of

Kate Harlow: 00:55:08

women's lives, and like, take, well, no, hundreds of 1000s, if

Kate Harlow: 00:55:11

we count the podcast, but like, take it out to the world in a

Kate Harlow: 00:55:14

bigger way and impact young girls and so, yeah, I'm just,

Kate Harlow: 00:55:17

like, in this creative vortex right now, but in terms of what

Kate Harlow: 00:55:21

you can do with me starting over and of course, the new truth

Kate Harlow: 00:55:24

podcast is always a great place. There's a million episodes. You

Kate Harlow: 00:55:26

can go back and listen, and it's a great place to hear this

Kate Harlow: 00:55:30

message over and over again in new ways. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:55:34

love it so much. Okay, you already kind of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:55:36

answered that, that last part of the question that I was going to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:55:39

ask, which is, where can people find you for more? Kate Harlow,

Kate Harlow: 00:55:43

the unscripted woman.com is my website. Kate

Kate Harlow: 00:55:46

Harlow, the unscripted woman on Instagram, that's my brand, the

Kate Harlow: 00:55:49

unscripted woman and my book and Facebook. Kate Harlow, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:55:53

know if people still hang out on Facebook. I think that's it.

Kate Harlow: 00:55:57

Yes. Of course, the new truth podcast is on everything except

Kate Harlow: 00:56:00

YouTube, but YouTube's coming very soon,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:03

amazing. And I have a couple of episodes, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:05

think a couple of episodes, yeah, you know for

Kate Harlow: 00:56:07

sure, at least two times, maybe three. Yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:12

we will have to go back in the archive. Yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:14

it's an incredible podcast. So definitely check it out. Kate. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:18

love you so much. I have loved this conversation, I know that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:22

we could definitely go way longer, but we're gonna have to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:25

wrap it up, because I've got to go to the DMV. But thank you so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:28

much for being on this show. Thank you for being you, the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:33

work that you do in the world, and I'm just so grateful to have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:36

been able to have this chat with you today. So thanks me

Kate Harlow: 00:56:39

too. Thank you for having me my love, and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:56:42

freaking proud of you celebrating. You for saying yes,

Kate Harlow: 00:56:44

when it was the time, and yeah, this is amazing, and it suits

Kate Harlow: 00:56:47

you so much. So I'm so happy you're sharing your gifts with

Kate Harlow: 00:56:50

the world in a bigger way.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:51

Thank you love. Thank you love and to everybody

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:54

watching or listening. Thank you so much for joining us on

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:58

another episode of The Live, free Lifestyle podcast. If you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:01

enjoyed this episode, or if you know somebody that would

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:04

resonate with this episode, please share the love. Let us

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:08

know your biggest takeaways in the comments below. Subscribe

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:11

and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.