Welcome to the first episode of 2025! Our theme for the year is Relentless Curiosity. Dr. Sarah Hayek, a bariatric surgeon at the Kentucky Bariatric Institute, is back on the podcast to share her husband’s journey through bariatric surgery. She discusses the emotional and physical factors behind his decision and highlights the importance of embracing change in overcoming obesity. We explore how the surgery isn’t just for extreme obesity, the role of community support, and why some medical approaches may inadvertently contribute to the problem. Tune in to learn how bariatric surgery can be transformative for individuals at different stages of obesity and why support is key to long-term success.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [2:42] The theme for BariNation in 2025 is Relentless Curiosity 
• [4:36] Dr. Hayek shares her husband’s journey through bariatric surgery
• [15:35] Looking at the risk factors and deciding to have bariatric surgery
• [25:21] Understanding that obesity is a disease
• [30:56] Surgery is not just for the obese
• [39:41] Obesity is an isolating disease, and you need the community of the BariNation
• [48:56] The Kentucky Bariatric Institutes approach to obesity

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Bariatric surgery is not limited to individuals with extreme obesity. Those with moderate excess weight or health risks from visceral fat can also benefit, making surgery a preventative health measure rather than a last resort.
• The decision to undergo bariatric surgery often stems from the realization that traditional weight management methods—like diet and exercise—may not be enough. It's a critical tool in a broader treatment plan, including medical support and lifestyle adjustments.
• Long-term success in weight management post-surgery is tied to daily habits, continuous care, and emotional support. The community of Bari-Nation plays a vital role in helping individuals navigate challenges and maintain motivation throughout their transformative journey.

RESOURCES:

• BariNation Website 
• Join the BariNation Membership community meetups to support you on your journey with obesity treatment. https://barination.com/pages/join-our-community
• Want to see bonus content? Head over to Patreon to get more and to support the podcast for as low as $5 per month! https://www.patreon.com/BariNationPodcast 

GUEST RESOURCES:

Kentucky Bariatric Institute - Website

BIOGRAPHY: 

Kentucky Bariatric Institute (KBI) is excited to welcome Sarah Hayek, MD, MEd, to the Georgetown and central Kentucky communities. Dr. Hayek will enhance the bariatric program by offering robotic bariatric surgery and general surgery procedures. She completed medical school at Geisinger Commonwealth in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and a residency in general surgery at Geisinger Medical Center, with an additional year in surgical education research. With over two years of experience, Dr. Hayek specializes in general and bariatric robotic surgeries.

ABOUT:

If the BariNation podcast helps power your bariatric journey, become a monthly podcast supporter and help us produce the show! Visit www.barinationpodcast.com and help us support people treating the disease of obesity with humor, humility, and honesty.

BariNation - Website

BariNation - Podcast

Bariatric Surgery, Obesity, Disease, Bari-Nation Community Support, Bariatric Diet, Bari-Nation, NSV's, GLP-1, VSG, Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, LapBand, Roux en Y, Gastric Bypass, SADI-S, Health, Weight Management, Emotional Support

April Williams: You've just tuned into a podcast that welcomes you into a community, a resource center, and a safe place that powers your [00:00:15] journey towards personal wellness.

Natalie Tierney: Our goal is to leave us today feeling helpful, inspired, and ready to live your best bariatric life.

He went about 10 years struggling with his weight before he made the decision to undergo bariatric [00:01:00] surgery. And in today's episode, Dr. Hayek is going to share her experience of watching and helping her husband move through this. This process, he really tapped into relentless curiosity and Dr Hayek [00:01:15] does a phenomenal job of explaining how she's seeing that tool be so powerful in action.

Again, we are so thankful for their partnership and we know that you are going to absolutely love watching and listening this episode. All right, let's dive in. Well, friends, welcome to the very first year of [00:02:00] 2025. Welcome. I know. Welcome to the podcast. Just welcome to this moment of the year where I think a lot of people are filled with, with hope, hope for great things ahead.

Our focus for [00:02:45] 2025 in Berry Nation is curiosity. We want to lean into, we want to understand, and we want to adopt this curiosity mindset. And why that's so important is because When we are feeling stuck along this journey, when we are second [00:03:00] guessing our decision, if we are freaking out that things are going too good and we're waiting for the other shoe to drop, or if we are just having a hard time committing to make to having the decision to have bariatric surgery, curiosity is the thing that we [00:03:15] have to tap into if we want to do things differently.

The other shoes going to drop so the thing that you might need to do differently is [00:03:45] trust the process right is lean into that trust in that belief lean into community. So don't think that curiosity and doing things differently only applies to things when they're not going. Well, it also applies to things when they are going well.[00:04:00]

I know this conversation is reaching you in this moment that you need to hear it because you're probably like me. You're probably like everybody in the world. Something's got to give, something's got to change. And curiosity is the thing that is going to help us do that. [00:04:30] Okay. Dr. Hayek, will you introduce yourself to anybody who doesn't know you?

[00:05:00] So today, I was the support person for my husband, whom has given me permission to share his story, um, but got his gastric sleeve by Dr. Eric Smith today. Um, so yeah, I was the [00:05:15] one sitting in the waiting room, like, waiting for, My partner, Dr. Smith, to come out and tell me that everything was done and great and It was a very new experience for me and I am learning so so much by going through this experience with him [00:05:30] And it has been a long path to get here and we have done a lot of curiosity searching.

So this is like perfect

But to be on the other side of this where you are a [00:06:00] support person and you have been really walking with your husband for years as he got to this point to make the decision to have surgery. It's like a whole new like part of your life is unlocking right now.

Um, and it's one of those things that like some of the things that have really like caught me have surprised me because I was literally. Every day, but I also walk away from it when I leave the [00:06:30] hospital and now I don't. And so that's been a very different experience.

April Williams: Oh, oh, that gave me chills. Oh my gosh, now it's at home with you.

You're seeing that in your husband now. So the advice and the guidance that you're giving them is a hundred percent accurate, but it absolutely has to [00:07:15] hit differently when you're living with somebody who's actually going through it.

Something like that. Uh, that doesn't fly in my house.

April Williams: No, no,

that are made. Oh, you know, you know that it's habits and you know, it adds up and I'm sure you understand this. And conceptually, I thought I [00:08:15] understood it. But until you experience it, you don't realize like, it's from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep. You know, yeah, I, I truly don't get to walk away from it now.

April Williams: It [00:08:45] does. It is a part of every single day. It's a part of every moment.

And it's almost like, It's a part of that excess weight, right? The excess weight [00:09:15] is this physical manifestation of all of the things that are actually going on on the inside. And surgery helps you get distance from that. And as you lose the weight, some of those things become more exposed and which is a good and a bad thing, but you [00:09:30] also have the ability to kind of let them go a little bit more as well.

So I'm so excited to, to hear about your husband's experience through, through your lens.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: Yeah. Yeah. It's been a long

Dr. Sarah Hayek: been a long time coming?

And so we have talked about it. We've kind of tried a bunch of different things. So we've, you know, I say we, but he he's been doing this even longer than that. Of course. [00:10:30] Um, he's tried a lot of things. He's been somebody who has been a runner. He's been somebody who has done many different types of diet plans.

And so we kind of back last year, [00:11:15] um, when I joined Kentucky Bariatric Institute, he said, I'm going to do six months more, I'm going to take six more months. I'm on the GLPs. I am going to see if I can commit to a diet and lifestyle modification. And in six [00:11:30] months, we're going to reevaluate it. And so we did.

April Williams: Yes.

Smith for the past year, they are very good friends. They've kind of gotten to know each other and He really developed this comfort level where he said, you know what? [00:12:30] Okay, let's, let's see what it would be if I trusted in the process and I did it. And so here we are, he threw all of his trust into us [00:12:45] today.

Yes. And he is literally downstairs sleeping off the anesthesia. We just went for a walk before we got on. We went for a walk. We took sips of our protein water.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: right? I know. And he's got our dog nursing him right now. So they're all cuddled up to relaxing, recovering.

And when we're done, we're going for another walk.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: to be the most hydrated, most forward and watch patient there ever was

Dr. Sarah Hayek: we were leaving, Dr. Smith was like, just Don't, don't overdo it.

Like let him, let him relax today. Just let him have at least 12 hours.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: Give him 12 hours. Okay. Let the anesthesia at least get out of his body before you start.

April Williams: mean, doctor's orders, doctor's orders. Yeah. Poor husband. Oh, well, I want to circle back to something that you said, because I feel that this is such an important part of of this conversation. I know that there are millions of people [00:14:15] out there who are feeling exactly like your husband.

[00:14:45] Uh, and I worry about him because he carries his weight in his middle. I know it's visceral and. he doesn't look like a candidate for surgery. He's bigger and he has excess weight, but he's, he wouldn't be featured on my 600 pound life, right? He wouldn't be [00:15:00] featured on a thousand pound family sisters.

But can you talk more kind of about the, the like mental gymnastics that you [00:15:30] saw him do to get to this point to make the decision? Oh

Like this is a disease that is not [00:16:00] normal. Well, the reality is that about 50 percent of the United States population qualifies for and should have bariatric surgery. So it is the normal.

April Williams: It

He's a very normal looking guy, but I know his family [00:16:45] history and I know they have a family history of bleeding and blood clots and you know what, he needs to be here to see our kids grow up. So I'm not going to let a pulmonary embolism or some sort of blood clot. Take him from [00:17:00] us. That's just. That's my fear.

And that's the fat that has a direct correlation to our cardiovascular risks. Not so much [00:17:30] the fat that we don't like in the mirror that we can see and we can touch and we can pinch, but the deeper fat. But because men tend to carry that fat in their abdomen below their muscle level. they tend to look more muscular and fit.[00:17:45]

April Williams: Mm hmm.

And so finally he was like, well, I'm going to live for our kids. I'm going to fight. Yes. And I was like, that's great. I love doing that now rather than doing that. After you've had the bad blood clot. [00:18:45] Yes. Yes. Right. So he's, he's been through a ton. It took a lot of, he's an, he's an engineer, so he's very data driven, so it took a lot of data.

Yes. And now here we are. Um, yeah. And we, we also, we did the GL piece. And that's another thing that I think we're planning on talking about tonight is that it's a. It's huge [00:19:30] right now and it's something that we should talk about because it's a great resource. It's a in certain situations It is amazing But it's also not The cure for obesity.

April Williams: and I'm on a GLP one myself.

It is going to take community. It is going to take education. It takes nutrition. It takes shifting our mindset, [00:20:45] right? It takes all of these things in, into one. And what I appreciate about you sharing your husband's story with permission is that His story is being lived by millions of other people right now.

With a different type of protein. It's not fundamentally doing something different, changing something. Whereas making the decision to be, to get curious about [00:21:30] what metabolic and bariatric surgery is all about. can actually change your life. It can be the difference maker in what you have been doing for so long and struggling with.

You're going to [00:22:00] have different tools. You have a different why you have different reasons for doing these things. But if that thing in the middle doesn't change, then your story is not going to change. Six months from now, you're going to be going, Oh, okay. Well, that didn't, that didn't work or that didn't [00:22:15] result in what I thought it would.

And that's so frustrating. You feel like a crazy person because you're living the same thing over and over and over again.

You get, and then it. Yeah. And now we feel like we're starting again, or we are, you know, maybe even worse off than we were before. And you're just wondering, why did it [00:22:45] not work? It didn't work because 99 percent of the time, statistically 99 percent of the time, diet and lifestyle modifications aren't enough.

You'd be like, well, okay, yeah, I kind of figured it would be. That's, that's what this is. Unfortunately, that's just what the data is. There [00:23:30] are so many more things than just. The number of calories that you eat in a day, it is so much more than that.

Robert Kushner and his, his address was about weight, weight reoccurrence. We, you know, why it happens so bright for patients. The word that we often use is regain, right? Like why, why do, why do people experience regain? And he put up this graphic [00:24:00] and it was all of the research that has been done that shows the things that contribute to a person's weight, right?

Right? [00:24:30] But the disease continues to progress. So, like, every other disease treatment model out there, you don't just stop treating it because it is reoccurring. You throw more things at it. You onboard more [00:24:45] tools. And for some reason in our brain, that old thinking comes back and it goes, Oh, nope, it's me.

We are battling a disease, not these decisions that you are making. So you have to drop that shame. You have to drop that guilt and you just [00:25:15] have to acknowledge the disease is progressing. And now I need different kinds of treatment.

Because you go to your doctor, you're told that you have obesity, you're told that you're overweight and that you need to lose weight and that you need to eat less, exercise more and you need to come back and see me in three months. Okay. [00:25:45] So you just put all of that onus on that patient. And you said, you.

April Williams: Oh, that also gave me chills.

You have sleep apnea, you need to treat this. You have high blood pressure, you need to treat this. You have breast cancer, you need to treat this. We would never accept that. But obesity, we do. And that is why you feel [00:26:30] like it's your fault and your failure. Well, guess what? If you didn't solve your own high cholesterol, I wouldn't be feeling bad about myself that I didn't somehow magically cure myself of high cholesterol.[00:26:45]

And it's just because it's, it's newer to the disease [00:27:15] scheme of things. It's newer for physicians. Um, and I think many primary care physicians just don't know how, it's not that they don't want to, they just don't know how. That's why they're specialists,

April Williams: right? That's why they're literally obesity medicine specialists.

And he loves, you know, like I'm, I'm me and you're you. Exactly.

and that I think is a societal [00:28:30] barrier. Um, I think honestly, there may be more of that in the male population too. Feeling like reaching out for help is somehow admitting defeat and failure. Um, and then there are a lot [00:28:45] of things that happen, right? So, I was in residency and we had kids while I was in residency, right?

So he was doing a lot of that. And. there aren't really a ton of resources for [00:29:15] postpartum men. There's a, there are things and we're, we're recognizing it and trying to treat it better in postpartum for mothers. But what do we do about postpartum for fathers? They have a lot of stress with that too. So we had some weight [00:29:30] gain through, um, you know, having, Two pregnancies, a miscarriage, residency, and then COVID and his job converted from being in the office to being at home and then you're at home and the [00:29:45] pantry is just over there and then the kids are getting older and so they have their snacks over there and of course my children eat a little bit differently than we do, um, you know, they're all about the snacks at this age and so Um, it becomes [00:30:00] a very easy resource to just go over there when you're bored, when you're hungry, when you walk past it and it just makes you think of it, right?

April Williams: Yeah.

And at some point you're going to say, okay, well, I actually am a little hungry and I'm going to go grab something. And that can add up really quickly. Yeah. [00:30:45] So it's those little things. It's the tiny habits throughout the day, the tiny environmental factors that lead up to. You know, here we are.

April Williams: Yeah.

Um, that he's not far enough into obesity that he needs that help. He hasn't had any sort of major life event or diagnosis at this point in our life to [00:31:15] say, you know, okay, I was just diagnosed with diabetes. Now I should do something about it. He hasn't had any of those major events and thank God we haven't.

You know, what are you going to do about treating something that's theoretical?

Like I, I [00:32:15] think I've, I've known my husband now 16 years and you know, we look back on pictures when we first met and I was 300 and something pounds and he was. Probably 240. I don't know. 230. I honestly don't know, but I can [00:32:30] see every time he's he looks at one of those pictures. He's taken aback and he's so frustrated and he just gets so down on himself and his, his go to response right now is, well, I just need to exercise more.

Like if I have other things wrong with me, I just need to like get in the right mind frame and I have to eat better and I have to exercise more. And it's like, Oh my God, no, [00:33:15] no, you don't. And my fear is that if you, if we continue down this path, you are going to have those things. Your mobility is going to be limited.

And I'm just like, Oh my God, this is, [00:33:45] this is not good because sooner rather than later, his mobility is really going to be limited by it. But I just don't know what I can do to kind of get him over this hump to just acknowledge look, man, you are battling like you are [00:34:00] trying to build a building here and you don't have the right tools, but you know, like you would never if you showed up to a job site and they didn't have a crane and and all these other things that you you'd be like, what?

And I mean, it's just like, come on, like, why, why is this so challenging?

Um, but to build a relationship with somebody that he trusts and respects.

April Williams: And

So, like, I was [00:35:15] a teacher. But he was like, number one, when he got into the room, he said, these people look like me. I said, yes. They do because this is for everybody. This is for normal [00:35:30] people. Yes, it is also for people who are super morbid obese and have a lot of excess weight to lose, but it is also for people that are fit, healthy and functional that have a little bit of [00:35:45] weight to lose.

April Williams: Yeah.

He was like, I actually feel a little bit [00:36:15] excited about this. And that was super fun and super great to see. I am so sorry. Can I pause for a second? Cause he just poked his head into the store. Yes. You need someone? [00:36:30] Oh, you're listening. Do you want to come say hello? You sure? He came up the stairs, April.

Yes.

April Williams: He is rocking this. He is

April Williams: Good for him. Awesome. Okay.

And I feel. more inspired leaving this than I [00:37:15] anticipated, right? He thought that he was just going to continue to feel beaten down and like it was a failure. But when he found his people and when he found a team that believes in what we do, that knows how to [00:37:30] treat obesity, that knows the data behind it, that knows how important and impactful this is, that's when he went, Oh, maybe this is a little different than what I see on social media.

April Williams: And

Dr. Sarah Hayek: now here

April Williams: we are. Day zero. Day zero. Oh, it is just so inspiring. Uh, and I remember I went through that exact same progression as well.

And this is a message that I think this conversation is really going, is really going to help with. Um, because really there are two things that you really have to get curious about and you have [00:38:45] to be brave enough to push through. It is that initial decision to build a relationship with a bariatric surgeon that you trust with a center and a surgeon that you trust.

They are anxious. They're equally excited and hopeful when you have an opportunity to spend time with other patients. it changes your life forever. It is the most deeply [00:39:30] profounding experience that we can go through as patients because we live in a world in which we are isolated from the rest of it.

I'm not acknowledging it. It just doesn't exist. And you isolate into [00:40:00] yourself. And when you get around other people who are also feeling that, and you realize there's nothing wrong with them, they're totally normal people. You just feel your walls dropping. You feel [00:40:15] the fear and the guilt and the shame.

That's why once people joined, they're like, Oh my God, why did I not do this sooner? [00:40:45] You get to be around people who get it. And that changes your life.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: It

April Williams: changes

Dr. Sarah Hayek: your life. And I underestimated that. I completely underestimated that. I underestimated what a barrier it was to get into that classroom.

They, you could have [00:41:30] all sorts of things. That is something I underestimated. And the power of. People who you don't even need to like know them well or interact with them for a long [00:41:45] as much as I can tell anyone, this is a disease. I treat every single day. I have thousands of patients like you. It doesn't hit home.

And it's just not [00:42:15] something that I can offer, even if you Live with the bariatric surgeon. I just can't offer that. Yeah. So Bury nation, making connections at your surgeon's office, finding groups, whatever it is. Mm-hmm . It is way [00:42:30] more powerful than I even gave it credit for.

April Williams: Yeah. It, it's why we, we always encourage people who are, who are on the bariatric path.

Or, okay. I'm just so thankful to, to feel the sense of relief finally in the first, you know, I haven't felt this way in 20 years. It is your place to, to go and to, and to, to have that moment and to get connected in [00:43:15] because after you do that, you will never feel alone again along this journey.

April Williams: Oh my God.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: Because once again, you need to know this is okay.

Or everything is going fine. It has been going fine for months and you start looking over your shoulder and you start saying, all right, when, when, when is this other shoe going to drop? Because there is no way that this is possible. Or you're, you're two, three, four years out and things are [00:44:30] mundane.

I have a safe place that I can go [00:45:00] and say, I am spinning out of control here, or I am freaking panicked, or I'm really worried. Things are going great. Somebody tell me that. know that this is okay, that it's okay for me to be excited about things going great. I have that [00:45:15] place of connection. I have that place I can literally tap into every moment of every day.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: Oh, absolutely. It's probably more important than us to be honest. We, your surgeon is part of your life.

They're linked to, do you come back and do you see your physician? Are you coming back and keeping your follow up appointments? Are you taking your post operative nutrition, vitamins, supplementation, those sorts of things? Are you sticking to the lifestyle modifications? The [00:46:30] outcomes are, the immediate outcomes, yes, can be linked to your surgery and such, but your overall long term health outcomes are actually related to those daily habits that you do.

Wow. And that's just the reality of it.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: You know, you can get the nicest, fanciest car in the world, but if you don't know how to drive it [00:47:45] safely, if you don't follow the rules of the road, if you don't take care of it and give it the maintenance that it needs,

April Williams: Yeah.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: It's not going to get you anywhere.

April Williams: Yeah.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: So, I can Give you that. But then you've got to drive it.

April Williams: Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I get that. Well, and, and, and I did want to say, Dr. Hayek, you actually have given your patients this because KBI [00:48:15] offers their patients three months of Baryonation for free. Yes. For free. This is completely free, like no strings attached, no credit card, no nothing.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: Yes. We, um, we do things a little bit differently at KBI and I think we do it [00:49:00] differently for many reasons, a ton of education, a ton of community, a ton of support, because that's, that's what really, I think, I think honestly, the reason we have really. Good outcomes and we're so proud of that is because [00:49:15] of all of the other parts of it.

This is we're in this together. You're mine. I'm yours for life. Yep, we're here together Um, and you know, we really i'm gonna [00:49:45] commit to you and I expect you to commit to me and we are Gonna stick this out. We're gonna figure this out. There are gonna be bumps along the way, but that doesn't mean That you can't come to me when there are bumps That's what i'm here for.[00:50:00]

April Williams: Yeah, no, but perfection is a mirage. It will [00:50:30] absolutely drive you crazy because you are never going to, to attain it. Perfection is something that you can look back and go, Oh yeah, wow, I really did that the best that I possibly could have done. Awesome. But if that's what you're looking for out in the future, it is a freaking mirage.

Dr. Sarah Hayek: So let's not worry about. That in the future. Let's worry about today because we spend so much time thinking about what happened [00:51:00] yesterday. What do I want to happen tomorrow?

How can I right now, in [00:51:30] this moment, even if I'm messed up in the morning, how can I right now Make a good choice. Live a little bit more in the moment. Enjoy it. Don't constantly be looking behind you or in front of you. This is the moment. Enjoy this moment. [00:51:45]

April Williams: It so perfectly encapsulates what our year is going to be all about, right?

In two weeks, you're going to hear part two of this episode, and Dr. Hayek does an amazing job of explaining to us the differences between laparoscopic and robotic bariatric surgery. And then she gives us her bold predictions [00:52:30] for obesity treatment in 2025. So make sure that you tune into that episode in two weeks.

That wraps up another empowering episode of the Berry Nation podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, keep the conversation going by joining the Berry Nation membership community where you can attend live support events, accessibility. On demand [00:53:00] resources and find a caring community.

Natalie Tierney: Join us at barination.mn.co. If you found this podcast valuable, help us produce it by becoming a 5 monthly supporter at bari nationpodcast.com.