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“Thank you” isn’t enough anymore. It’s become an expected part of human etiquette. There’s not much thought behind it and it doesn’t have any real acknowledgement of the impact the interaction has had on you.
On the other hand, saying “thank you for” is intentional and impactful. By taking the extra time, you can show appreciation for the information and time the other person gave you. It can be hard to know where to start which is why I created a framework to walk people through the process.
Step 1 (T) Thank You For: Whenever you make a new connection, take a moment to reflect on how that person impacted you. It could be their work, their presence, or something they said – the important thing is that it’s genuine.
Step 2 (A) Ask: The next step is to extend an offer to help or provide further assistance, which will deepen the connection. Many people push back here and say they have nothing to share, but I promise you that is not true. I’ve never known anyone without anything to offer, nor have I ever been asked for something I couldn’t provide.
Step 3 (D) Do Something: Finally, you need to be proactive in continuing your connection. This could be scheduling a follow-up meeting to update them on your progress, or to discuss collaborating, it could be providing them with information they asked for, or even just a commitment to reconnect at a later point. The first steps are about intentionally connecting and this final step is about turning that intention into action.
I hope this episode will inspire you to give the TAD framework a try. Not only does intentional gratitude build networking success, but it also makes the world a little brighter every time you do it. So add these three extra steps and watch your connections (and opportunities) flourish.
Until next time, keep shining bright!
Hi there and welcome back to another
Speaker:episode of Unleashing Brilliance.
Speaker:Now, over the last few weeks, I've been
Speaker:speaking to many audiences about the
Speaker:power of building a transformational
Speaker:network and one of the strategies
Speaker:I've shared during those keynotes has
Speaker:had such a significant shift for so
Speaker:many people that I thought I'd share
Speaker:it with you on my podcast this week.
Speaker:Today, I want to share with you the
Speaker:three letters that will change everything
Speaker:for you when it comes to networking.
Speaker:These three letters will ensure that you
Speaker:play in the top 1 percent of networkers,
Speaker:that you stand out from the crowd,
Speaker:and that you become known as someone
Speaker:who is interested and interesting.
Speaker:And most of all, that you are
Speaker:remembered amongst the masses.
Speaker:Now, a couple of years ago, my eldest
Speaker:son Flynn went for his first job after
Speaker:finishing school and after his interview,
Speaker:he came home and I asked him how he
Speaker:went and then I said, okay, Flynn, now
Speaker:it's time to be the 1%, to which, as
Speaker:you can imagine, any teenage son does.
Speaker:He rolled his eyes at me and said,
Speaker:seriously, mom, can you stop coaching me?
Speaker:God, you got to laugh at that.
Speaker:Don't you?
Speaker:But anyway, he did do it.
Speaker:He followed through on
Speaker:this 1 percent strategy.
Speaker:What he did was, is he sent a text
Speaker:message thanking the interviewer
Speaker:for spending the time with him
Speaker:and answering all his questions.
Speaker:He then asked if there was anything
Speaker:else that he needed from him.
Speaker:And he then went on to inquire
Speaker:as to what was going to happen
Speaker:next, finishing up with, I look
Speaker:forward to hearing from you soon.
Speaker:Within 24 hours, Flynn was offered
Speaker:the job and he was actually
Speaker:the youngest ever to be hired.
Speaker:Now, I don't doubt that he did a
Speaker:great job in his interview, but I do
Speaker:believe it's what he did afterwards
Speaker:that gave him the advantage.
Speaker:And this is what I call
Speaker:my thank you for strategy.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:This simple framework uses three extra
Speaker:letters, F, O, and R, to become one
Speaker:extra word that turns a transactional
Speaker:thank you or thanks into an intentional
Speaker:and thoughtful thank you for.
Speaker:It helped Flynn secure his first job.
Speaker:And I've seen this strategy, this
Speaker:thank you for strategy, build and
Speaker:bloom amazing client relationships.
Speaker:It's helped dream jobs be achieved,
Speaker:new business opportunities
Speaker:secured and powerful networks
Speaker:built using this framework.
Speaker:Now I've shared this framework with
Speaker:thousands over the last decade,
Speaker:from conference stages around the
Speaker:world to being in the front of
Speaker:room of small workshops to large
Speaker:workshops, and every single time.
Speaker:I've done those keynotes or
Speaker:been in front of the room.
Speaker:I've actually invited people to try it.
Speaker:I said to people, do the 1 percent
Speaker:strategy, do the thank you for strategy.
Speaker:It's simple.
Speaker:You know, send me a text or an email
Speaker:that says, Hey Janine, thank you for
Speaker:the time you spent with us yesterday.
Speaker:I loved hearing about your strategies
Speaker:to build networks strategically.
Speaker:Please let me know if there's
Speaker:anything I can do for you.
Speaker:And I'll make sure to keep in touch
Speaker:and let you know how I go with
Speaker:this strategy in terms of building
Speaker:the network of me for my success.
Speaker:I ask and I invite everybody to
Speaker:follow through on that strategy.
Speaker:And yet very few of the
Speaker:audience follow through.
Speaker:And this is why I call
Speaker:it my 1 percent strategy.
Speaker:Because those that take the time to
Speaker:say thank you for, and who follow
Speaker:the three step framework that I'm
Speaker:about to share with you, those
Speaker:are the people that I remember.
Speaker:Those are the people that I continue
Speaker:to support, and those are the people
Speaker:that I keep connected with, and who
Speaker:over the years I've continued to
Speaker:support as they've built their careers.
Speaker:You see, I believe that a simple thank
Speaker:you or thanks is no longer enough.
Speaker:It's transactional and it's expected.
Speaker:It's what we say to each other
Speaker:in passing with no real thought.
Speaker:It's what we say to the barista
Speaker:after we've beautifully been
Speaker:served our morning coffee.
Speaker:It's what we say to Uber drivers when
Speaker:they drop us off at our destination.
Speaker:We say thanks.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:There's no real passing on of anything
Speaker:apart from obviously the beautiful
Speaker:human etiquette of saying thank you.
Speaker:There's no real thought.
Speaker:There's no acknowledgement of impression
Speaker:or impact that interaction or that person
Speaker:has made it's just a simple thanks.
Speaker:And I believe that thank you
Speaker:or thanks is no longer enough.
Speaker:On the other hand, thank you for
Speaker:requires a little bit more effort.
Speaker:It is intentional.
Speaker:It's unexpected and it is the very
Speaker:thing that becomes memorable and
Speaker:it's the very thing that helps
Speaker:you stand out from the crowd.
Speaker:Thank you for shows an appreciation
Speaker:for any connection and any information
Speaker:shared or the conversation had.
Speaker:It shows a respect and a gratitude
Speaker:for the time you spent together.
Speaker:Thank you for forces you to get present.
Speaker:It forces you to think about
Speaker:and get curious about the impact
Speaker:that person or that interaction
Speaker:or that meeting has had on you.
Speaker:Thank you for is about value exchange.
Speaker:It shares with other people how
Speaker:they and that moment matter.
Speaker:So here's how I want to share with
Speaker:you now this three step thank you
Speaker:for or TAD framework as I call it.
Speaker:I want to share with you
Speaker:this framework and I really
Speaker:encourage you to give it a go.
Speaker:Give it a go today.
Speaker:Give it a go this week.
Speaker:So the three step.
Speaker:T A D framework is this.
Speaker:Step number one, T,
Speaker:stands for thank you for.
Speaker:After every meeting, every work
Speaker:connection, or every single
Speaker:networking event, think of the
Speaker:people that you have interacted with.
Speaker:And think about one way that
Speaker:something they said, their work, Or
Speaker:just their presence impacted you.
Speaker:And I want you to take this reason
Speaker:and put it into the sentence,
Speaker:Thank you for dot, dot, dot.
Speaker:The important part about
Speaker:this step is being genuine.
Speaker:Nobody appreciates a fake compliment.
Speaker:But I want you to think about how
Speaker:that moment, how that person mattered.
Speaker:For example, it could be, thank you
Speaker:for the feedback on my proposal.
Speaker:It could be, thank you for taking the
Speaker:time to share with me your thoughts about.
Speaker:It could be, thank you for
Speaker:inviting me to this meeting.
Speaker:I really appreciated you sharing
Speaker:more about your company and
Speaker:the challenges you're facing.
Speaker:It could be, thank you for taking
Speaker:the time to take my call today and
Speaker:answering the questions I had on.
Speaker:It could be, thank you for
Speaker:the dinner conversation about.
Speaker:It could be, thank you for the
Speaker:conversation about blah at the blah event.
Speaker:I really appreciated your insight.
Speaker:It's intentionality.
Speaker:It's a value exchange.
Speaker:It is about giving back to that
Speaker:other person an appreciation for
Speaker:the time that they spent with you.
Speaker:So that's step number one.
Speaker:The T, thank you for.
Speaker:Now, step number two.
Speaker:A stands for ask.
Speaker:This is where I want you to go after
Speaker:you've done your thank you for.
Speaker:You introduce the A, ask, and it is simple
Speaker:as, is there anything I can do for you?
Speaker:Is there any more information
Speaker:you need from me right now?
Speaker:Is there anything more I can do?
Speaker:Every single person, every single
Speaker:one of you listening or watching
Speaker:this podcast has something to give.
Speaker:And this offer is the question
Speaker:is the value exchange.
Speaker:It's the very thing that deepens step one.
Speaker:Now, when I share this, a lot of
Speaker:people push back and they say,
Speaker:Oh, but I've got nothing to share.
Speaker:Yes, you have.
Speaker:They worry about, Oh gosh,
Speaker:what if I can't help?
Speaker:Let me tell you that the recipient may or
Speaker:may not even take you up on this offer.
Speaker:But by making the offer of, is there
Speaker:anything I can do for you, of making
Speaker:the offer of the ask, it gives time
Speaker:for the recipient to pause and think.
Speaker:And to think that is once again,
Speaker:reinforcing the value exchange.
Speaker:And the years that I've taught this
Speaker:strategy, I have never once personally
Speaker:been asked for anything that I
Speaker:cannot help the other person with.
Speaker:I really encourage you to get out of
Speaker:your own way to quit worrying about
Speaker:asking this question and instead
Speaker:be present with serving the person
Speaker:that is the recipient of this.
Speaker:So step number one is T, thank you for.
Speaker:Get present and think about what you
Speaker:want to thank the other person for.
Speaker:Step number two, A is ask.
Speaker:Don't overthink this.
Speaker:Just simply go, is there
Speaker:anything more I can do for you?
Speaker:Is there any more
Speaker:information you need from me?
Speaker:Is there anything else
Speaker:I can help you with?
Speaker:Just ask that one sentence.
Speaker:The A stands for ask.
Speaker:Now we've got three
Speaker:parts of this framework.
Speaker:We've got the T, thank
Speaker:you for, the A is the ask.
Speaker:The final one is how we actually
Speaker:nurture, cultivate, and build our
Speaker:relationship, build our network.
Speaker:The third part of this framework
Speaker:is D, and it stands for doing ask.
Speaker:Something.
Speaker:This is where Flynn said, please
Speaker:let me know what the next steps are.
Speaker:I look forward to hearing from you.
Speaker:You've got to do something.
Speaker:You've got to take control
Speaker:of this conversation.
Speaker:So commit to the next
Speaker:step and do something.
Speaker:It could be offering to catch up again
Speaker:over coffee, and you might suggest a time.
Speaker:It could be that you're
Speaker:going to book in a meeting.
Speaker:To discuss a potential collaboration,
Speaker:it could be that you're going to
Speaker:book a meeting to update them on the
Speaker:action that you've taken on the back
Speaker:of the feedback they've given you.
Speaker:It could be that you're going
Speaker:to forward some information
Speaker:to them that you promised.
Speaker:It could simply be a commitment to
Speaker:connect again in two weeks time to
Speaker:update, them on any progress you've made.
Speaker:You've been intentional about
Speaker:connecting, and now it's your turn
Speaker:to turn that intention into action.
Speaker:And it's really as simple as that.
Speaker:The T A D framework.
Speaker:Thank you for step number one.
Speaker:A, ask, is there anything
Speaker:I can do for you?
Speaker:And then D, do something.
Speaker:Now why does this very
Speaker:simple framework work?
Speaker:Here's why.
Speaker:Because it shows that you were present
Speaker:enough in that moment to take notice,
Speaker:to remember who they are, that you were
Speaker:interested in them and what they do or
Speaker:what they had to say, and that you are
Speaker:committed enough to follow through.
Speaker:This is intentionality.
Speaker:You can't bulk send the same message
Speaker:to everyone because this message has
Speaker:been specifically personalized to them
Speaker:and the impact they've had on you.
Speaker:It helps you be memorable,
Speaker:and it can drastically shake
Speaker:up your network for the better.
Speaker:You know, I recently presented, at
Speaker:a workshop, to a team of leaders of
Speaker:upcoming leaders, I was sharing the
Speaker:strategy of networking and I was
Speaker:sharing this particular strategy.
Speaker:The next day I rang my contact for
Speaker:some feedback, and they said that the
Speaker:leadership team, the C suite, had actually
Speaker:contacted them to ask what had happened
Speaker:during the workshop, because they had
Speaker:never received so much fabulous feedback.
Speaker:They'd never received so many requests
Speaker:for further information, and they'd
Speaker:never received so many thank yous for
Speaker:the impact that they'd had On their team,
Speaker:they couldn't believe how in the space of
Speaker:one workshop, engagement, communication
Speaker:levels, collaboration levels, gratitude
Speaker:levels had actually increased in
Speaker:that organization on the back.
Speaker:Of this one strategy, the TAD
Speaker:framework, the thank you for strategy.
Speaker:So I really invite you to
Speaker:give it a try this week and
Speaker:see what difference it makes.
Speaker:And I'd love you to share that with me.
Speaker:I wanna hear what difference it makes.
Speaker:And by the way, I wanna invite
Speaker:all of you listening to this.
Speaker:Why not try it with me?
Speaker:Try the thank you for strategy with me.
Speaker:Send me an email, send me a
Speaker:message with thank you for ask.
Speaker:And the D, the do something, give it
Speaker:a go, because here's the thing, if it
Speaker:can land my teenage son, Flynn, his
Speaker:first job, it can absolutely help you
Speaker:build a network for you that inspires
Speaker:you, that motivates you, and that
Speaker:drives you to achieve your goals.
Speaker:Oh, by the way, I'll let you
Speaker:in on another little secret.
Speaker:If you want to go one step
Speaker:further, here's what I do.
Speaker:I allocate one hour a week in my
Speaker:calendar, and it is called my R A K hour.
Speaker:My R A K hour.
Speaker:This stands for random hour.
Speaker:Act of kindness hour.
Speaker:And what I do in that hour, every
Speaker:single week is I think about the
Speaker:people I've met that prior week.
Speaker:I reflect on the conversations I've had.
Speaker:I reflect on the messages
Speaker:I might've received.
Speaker:I reflect on the commitments
Speaker:that I may have made.
Speaker:And I use that one hour, that RAK hour
Speaker:to follow the three step TAD framework.
Speaker:Thank you, ask for, do something
Speaker:framework that I shared with you today.
Speaker:So why not start allocating an
Speaker:RAK hour in your calendar every
Speaker:single week from this week.
Speaker:And think about this week, the word for,
Speaker:the three letters F O 4, and give a thank
Speaker:you for this week to the people that come
Speaker:into your world that have had an impact.
Speaker:and give it a go, try it and
Speaker:see what difference it makes.
Speaker:I look forward to hearing from you and I
Speaker:will catch up with you again next week.