Do you feel like your past experiences affect your current reality? Personally, I feel like they do. And a quick search on Google will tell you there’s scientific evidence to support that idea. For me, processing past experiences has been an important piece in my healing and wellness journey. 

You might have guessed from the name of the podcast, but I love learning about and trying new healing techniques. So today, we’re talking about a cool healing modality that has helped me to process and make peace with my past experiences called the Integrative Processing Technique. 

And joining me to talk all about it, is my amazing cousin Shailynn Brown. She is trained in the Integrative Processing Technique and in this episode, we discuss what it is, what a session entails, her story of how got into this type of healing work, and I share some of my own personal experiences with it. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• [01:44] Making peace with the past for an empowered future
• [04:43] Shailynn’s story of why she got into this type of healing work
• [09:37] Integrative Processing Technique: what it is and what does a session look like
• [24:27] Megan’s experiences with the Integrative Processing Technique
• [27:40] Role play, verbal clearing and affirmations to help with the healing process
• [31:07] A tip for people nervous to start with this type of healing work
• [32:25] Can the Integrative Processing Technique help with chronic pain?
• [37:16] Can the Integrative Processing Technique help with mental health?
• [39:07] Letting go of what isn’t yours
• [43:54] Learning to be your own authority
• [45:45] Learning from my autistic children 
• [48:46] How does this healing work support parents of kids with disabilities
• [54:52] A few first steps to take if you’re new to healing work
• [01:02:28] DIY approach to healing vs working with someone or community
• [01:08:48] What if you’re resistant to healing work?
• [01:11:29] An Integrative Processing Technique success story

Join us as we discuss embracing and processing our past to pave the way for an empowered future.

Links:

• Full show notes and resources: maybethiswillbethecure.com/blog/processing-past
• Check out Shailynn on Instagram or TikTok at: @intuitive.healing.shai
• FREE "New Years" Planning Workbook: megangodardcardon.myflodesk.com/newyearsplanning
• Connect on Instagram: @maybethiswillbethecure

Support the Podcast:

If this podcast was helpful to you, please consider sharing it with a friend, or leaving a rating or review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you!

And to help you easily catch new episodes, subscribe or follow along on your favorite podcast app such as Apple podcasts and Spotify (it's free!)

Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult your physician before making any changes to your health plan. The host, Megan, is not a healthcare provider. Always seek guidance from a qualified health professional for your individual needs.

Do you feel like your past experiences affect your current reality? Personally, I feel like they do, and a quick search on Google will tell you there's scientific evidence to support that idea. For me, processing past experiences has been an important piece in my healing and wellness journey.

You might have guessed from the name of the podcast, but I love learning about and trying new healing techniques. So today we're talking about a really cool healing modality that has helped me to process and make peace with past experiences called the Integrative Processing Technique. And joining me to talk all about it is my amazing cousin, Shailynn Brown. She's trained in the Integrative Processing Technique and in this episode we discuss what it is, what a session entails, her story of how she got into this type of healing work, and I share some of my own personal experiences with it. Join us as we discuss embracing and processing our past to pave the way for an empowered future.

Welcome to Maybe This Will be the Cure, a podcast where the wisdom of a healing journey meets the warmth of shared experiences. Join as we explore the topics of healing, living with chronic conditions, chronic pain, neurodiversity, mental health, and parenting kids with disabilities. I'm your host, Megan.

I am so excited for this interview, not only because you're my amazing, beautiful, wonderful cousin and I love you, but also because you're a very thoughtful, compassionate healer and I just feel like you are full of wisdom to share.

So Shailynn, you do healing work. I've had a couple sessions with you and they were really transformative for me. And what I loved most about working with you is how you helped me make peace with the past and with past experiences and process through those. And I think our past experiences totally affect our present reality. So I really appreciated working through those with you. And I do coaching and therapy regularly and that's been great for dealing with like the current stuff that I'm dealing with. But we haven't spent as much time processing the past and so I loved working with you for that and I totally noticed a difference.

So I just wanted to share a little anecdote before we get started. This is recently, just before Christmas, I really wasn't doing very well and I saw that you had some openings, so I booked a session with you and it ended up helping a lot. And in that session, one of the things that came up was several years ago when I was really struggling with my mental health. I've talked about it on an episode of the podcast recently. But anyways, during that healing session, some of those things from that tough time in my mental health journey came up, and it was really therapeutic to process through them. And it helped me get a sense of resolution and reframe my perspective on the coping strategies that I had used before I had tools to really support my mental health. And so that sense of clarity and closure and peace was so pivotal for me. And I think that's why I was even able to talk about it on the podcast and share my experiences, because I had had the opportunity with you to process through those and make peace with them. So that's kind of what I want to focus on today throughout this interview, that idea of processing and making peace with your past. But first, I just, I'd love to hear your story and what got you into this type of healing work in the first place.

Yeah, well, first, thanks for sharing that, Megan. I like, I honestly don't get a ton of feedback from clients. Oh, really? I'm like, oh, that's awesome. Just because I'm like, yeah, I'm doing it very part time and I don't like follow up as well. You know, it's mostly so hearing that is really awesome. And I want to point out, too, that the thing that I love about what I do in this modality, I guess, is it's not like I'm not a healer. Right? It's literally, I feel like I'm kind of just this helpful mirror to ask questions that, you know, that healing comes from within. And it's crazy how, I think for you, it was very natural to kind of like, just let the things kind of come from within, of like what you knew, know you needed, what you need to say and feel and express and how it kind of came about. So, anyways, thank you for sharing that feedback. I appreciate it and I'm glad it was helpful.

So I got into, I guess, healing in general. I feel like, I don't know about you, but for me, it feels like the thirties, the decades of the thirties is like where everything comes to a head and is like, hey, all this stuff you've been shoving down or haven't dealt with or numbed out, what you got to have to deal with now because it's so uncomfortable now, or it's impeding life progress in a way where it's like there's no other choice but to, like, figure it out. Right. So I feel like that's kind of got to that point.

But specifically with this modality that I was kind of trained in, I was introduced to that by a friend who, so I, we had moved from California to Utah. I don't even know how long ago. Forever ago. But my daughter, I guess this will do the timeline. My daughter, who's now eleven, she was two at the time, almost three when we moved back. And I had been dealing with severe postpartum depression since she was born. And I was still struggling with it. And a friend just mentioned, hey, you should go see this girl. She does, she's an emotional release facilitator, is what she called herself. And I was like, okay, I had done some, like, traditional therapy or what is it? Behavioral, cognitive behavioral therapy. I did a little bit of that, and it was not helpful to me at the time. Not saying that it cannot be, because I can. I know it can be really helpful. And just traditional talk therapy in general can be super helpful. But for me, I didn't, it didn't jive. I wasn't in a place, and it wasn't the right therapist, I think, for me. So I, but I had done a little bit before, and it was not helpful at the time.

And so, anyways, I was open to this because I was like, I have no idea what else is out there, but, like, I obviously need help. So I booked a session with this, this lady. Her name is Sarah, and she's awesome, and she's still practicing today. And it was extremely transformative for me. Just super healing. I was able, I was able to release just a ton of built up guilt and sadness and frustration in a way that I'd never had before. It's probably almost overwhelming for her and just connect to myself and to God in a way during that session that I hadn't before. So, anyways, it was just super healing. And so that kind of got me introduced to it, and I, at the time, we kind of weren't in a financial position for me to kind of continue going on a consistent basis. I kind of asked her, like, hey, how did you get training in this? And, you know, kind of found out the schooling she did and whatnot. So. But a few years later, kind of things aligned, and I felt that draw to kind of go to the schooling for it.

So it's just that Utah Institute of Healing Arts, and they teach, it's called the Integrative Processing Technique, which we could talk more about, right, the specifics of that. But it was a year long program that I did two or three years now, ago. I don't know. Time is weird for me right now, but it was quite the experience. It was awesome. I loved and hated it because you're literally just going through your own crap. Right. Your roller coaster of, like, healing your own shiz. And there was a lot, and it was like, whoa, this is awful. And it's also, like, scary because it's very much they throw you in to, like, okay, connect with your intuition, connect with this person. Like, throw you into muscle testing, throw you into the stuff that you're just like, you really have to, like, trust yourself also, or just like, try it or like, okay, I have no idea. This feels like this should be it, but I don't know. And, like, you're. Anyways, a lot of, like, inner healing myself, my own past trauma stuff, for sure. And then learning to kind of trust your intuition and, and those skills in that capacity, I guess. So, does that answer your question?

Yeah, totally. So as you're learning, you're also processing your own stuff and dealing with it. That is so, interesting.

Yeah. And honestly, that's where I wanted to go in the first place because I was like, this is mostly like, I know I got to deal with my own stuff. I mean, I honestly was like, I don't know if I'm ever going to, like, maybe with my family, right? Like, I'm like, I'll just. Maybe this will be helpful for my family, but it's mostly for me. And, and, but I did, and I do very, very much on the side. Not very often, but practice. I'm kind of trying to ramp that up more. But anyways, yeah, it was a year of, and even the year after, you're still just kind of going through it and doing your own stuff and you kind of have the tools now and feel really equipped, so it's like you can go at it even more, you know?

Yeah, that is so cool. So it's like a really intensive process for you, too.

Yeah, for sure.

Okay. So I would love to hear-say the name of it again, the method.

Integrative Processing Technique. Pam Robinson is the founder of the school, and she had some mentors and trainers from San Diego. I don't even know if she coined the term or if they did, but they were just like, here's all these different aspects that different therapies use, and we're gonna kind of combine them. And there's a little bit more of what you'd consider the woo woo, right. Like a little bit more energy, the muscle testing aspect, stuff like that. So, yeah, essentially the name, I honestly don't even use the name a lot, but a lot of people that leave the training, they'll call themselves emotional release facilitators, emotional release coaches, which to me, like, it's definitely that, but it's more than that to me as well. So I don't know what to call, to call it. It's like all of that.

And I would love to hear, like, I know what it's like cause I've experienced it, but maybe you could describe what is that like? Like, what would a session look like for people? Some people have no idea. My dad's a chiropractor. I've been doing muscle tests. He does muscle testing. I've had that in my life since I was a kid, but not everyone is familiar with that.

Yeah, for sure.

And like basically what can people expect? And then like, how does that help people process their past or the things that are affecting them in life today?

Yeah. Okay, so a session, which is a great question, like, when I went into it, I had no idea what it was gonna be like. And for me it worked out great. Sometimes it's like, oh, this is a little apprehensive, I have no idea. And it's a little, there's kind of a lot to it, so it's a little, like, hard to explain, so. But I'll do my best. But essentially it's, each session is usually about an hour and a half, maybe two, depending. And it's just like me and the client, and the client usually comes in with something that they're wanting to talk about or deal with or an issue that keeps coming up, whether that's like, I'm really frustrated in my relationship with this, or I keep hitting a wall in my career, or I have these health, this health issue that keeps coming up. Whatever it is, it can be anything, or it can just be like, I know that there's something, I don't know what it is. Let's trust the body and ask the body what it needs. And anyways, so that's where muscle testing comes in. We kind of, we just use it to, we use it to figure out kind of what age we need to go to, to that's tied to whatever it is that you're wanting to deal with now.

So your body is insanely intelligent, right? Like, I don't think we scratched the surface of how amazing it is and how it like, perfectly prioritizes things. Just like if you were to get injured in a car accident or something serious, your body knows how to prioritize. It's not going to be like, oh, Shailynn got this gash on her little finger. We're going to go to like, put all the resources up instead of like, oh, she has, I don't know, something else going on. Like, her brain. Right? Like, it's going to prioritize how to heal the best way and what needs the most resources at this time and what, like, what needs to go first. That makes sense. The same goes with your emotional healing. Like, your body is really intelligent in helping you. Like, it knows, like, hey, this is. Especially if it's tied to something specific. Oh, this is something tied to this age that we can go to to help you learn about this or figure out the underlying belief for this. Or if it's. Again, if you don't have an issue, you're just like, I don't know, but there's something. We literally can just muscle test-your body will be like, we need to go to this age, and it will bring up, help you bring up from your subconscious maybe some issues that happened that you weren't aware of or some trapped emotions or whatever, you know. Anyway, so we use muscle testing for that and also to help figure out what the emotions that are possibly trapped around that age or that are stuck in your body at that age that need to come out. So.

And the muscle testing I mostly do, I guess it's like surrogate muscle testing. I guess. So. Muscle testing is literally, it's similar to what they use in, like, the polygraph. Like, what's it, like, the lie detector test? It's the same technology, essentially, right? Or I guess the science behind it is the same of the muscle weakness in your body, giving you a yes or no response, essentially. And so muscle testing, traditionally, you can just, like your dad, right? Your dad uses in chiropractic to, like, you hold your arm up, and he's gonna, like, touch certain parts of your body to see if it's, like, weak or out of alignment or I don't know exactly. And you're resisting the push. But depending on where he touches or if there's something out of alignment, your muscle will react by giving it, like a no or like, yeah, there's a weakness there or whatever, right? And so we can do that. Like, I can literally do that in person if I have a client in person and they're more comfortable with me. Like, if they're comfortable with me touching them, I can use that where they just hold up their arm. And I'm asking, hey, what age do we need to go to? And just kind of pressing down to figure out what age. But most of the time, I do it where I connect through intention, like, energetically with your energetic field. And I can just use my fingers or my own arm or whatever to kind of get a yes or no response from your body. So that's normally what it is. So I'm not normally in sessions. I'm not touching you for muscle testing, but if you prefer that, we totally can. If you don't want muscle testing at all, we don't have to do that either. It just gets us there quicker. So that's, that's a long explanation for the muscle testing aspect, which actually, during a session goes very quick.

So, but yeah, you're coming in, we figure out something that you want to work on, or we just ask your body and we ask your body, like, what age we need to go to that's connected to this pattern that's playing out in your life or this frustration or pain or whatever it is. And it takes us to an age, it can take us to any age. But usually from age zero to seven is where your body and your mind and your spirit kind of absorbed, kind of has the original programming. Right. So whatever you learned from parents or society or experiences that you've had is kind of like what we usually still operating on.

Like, so if, for instance, my own experience, like, I have a specific, I'm working a lot with money right now and my relationship to money and false beliefs around it. So this just comes to mind. But I have a specific memory with my biological father where I just remember the situation where the car broke down, him saying things about it, and about money, about life and just like money being so hard to come by or whatever. Anyways, I was like, age what, like six or younger? And that was like my reality. Oh, yeah, money is hard. It's a struggle. It's hard to get or whatever. So that's something that was programmed in me, right? Or I just accepted like, oh, yeah, that's truth. And so that's why kind of going to the age is important because it can help you bring up those things.

But in order to kind of get to that, that's kind of like the underlying belief that you're operating from, we do a lot to get there. It's a lot of like, okay, tell me about this age. What's going on? You kind of reminisce. You try to, you close your eyes. You're trying to connect to that age, whatever age it is, and talking about what's going on. You might like your, your subconscious and your mind are going to bring up things that may or may not. Like when you're doing it for the first time. You're like, I have no idea if this is significant or not, but I remember my best friend in first grade said this to me, or whatever, you know, it could be something you think is so insignificant, but for that, like, six year old, that could be so significant. And that's. It's honestly just figuring out how to be okay with that memory and honoring whatever it was that six year old needed. Maybe it seems dumb and petty that, like, that memory came forward, but for that six year old and for your healing, it's like, hey, I'm raising my hand. I need to be honored. I need to be seen. Let's like, let's release these emotions that are trapped here. And so you're going to that. Your mind and body will bring up these memories or things. We're just kind of talking about it.

And then I can muscle test for specific emotion points that might be stuck. So whether that's fear, frustration, envy, sadness, burden, whatever it is, we kind of use muscle testing that way. And as these emotions come up, we use a lot of visualization. And it's kind of like neuro linguistic programming where you're visualizing, well, first we try to connect to the body, like, somatically. Try to see if you can feel where your body is storing this frustration. For example, if it's like a certain place in your body or just all over, whatever it is you being able to voice that is important and being able to just acknowledge that for yourself, for your younger self and your body, and then being able to put that-see if you can release that emotion from your body visually into an object or a shape. And we give it a color, and it just, like, helps to kind of remove it from your body and give it a space and place to be. And we kind of do that-you're kind of doing that through all the emotions. And it could be like, you might have, like, three emotions that you're living with, or you may have, like, ten or, like, whatever it is, and you're kind of going through all of that. And that's kind of the same for all the emotions, whatever it can be. I'm probably talking too much and giving too much detail.

No, I think it's great.

Yeah. Okay. I was just going to say, like, another example. Like, say you have a lot of anger, maybe towards this friend in first grade or whatever it was. And with anger's a little different because there's so much energy behind it that it's helpful to almost, like, play out a scene in your mind instead of, you can give it a shape and color. But a lot of times with anger, what we do is allowing that six year old self whatever, to play out that anger. So, visually, a six year old, I'm trying to think at six what I would do. I would, like, want to, like, go smash something against the wall, or I'd want to, like, putting my hands on the ground and scream or whatever it is, but it's visually working that out. We. We call them, like, anger videos, but essentially, you're just making a little video in your head of how I can release this anger for the six year old, what they'd want to do. And you kind of just, what comes to mind, what feels good to where you can get that anger out. So that's kind of, that is like a big chunk of the session is being able to work through that.

And as we work through these emotions and release them, one of the emotion points usually is covering up or kind of maybe not covering up. That's not the right word. Leads you to uncover the subconscious belief that is tied to kind of what you're dealing with today. So trying to think of an example. So maybe with this first grade example, right, with a friend or something, maybe there was a lot of sadness. And we’re kind of talking about that, and really soon we realized, there's a lot of questioning while we're doing this as well. Like, why were you sad? What made the six year old the most sad? What did you do with the sadness? Right. It's like, just helping you uncover that. And then usually, as we do that, it's maybe that sadness. We realize you're sad because you felt unheard or something. You felt looked over or whatever by this friend. They just, like, completely looked you over. And maybe that's tied to something that you're working on today in your relationship with spouse or with child or whatever. Right. And so that kind of is the crux, I think, for me, is figuring out, okay, what is belief that is still patterning today and playing out today.

And so we kind of, a big part is kind of delving in that and figuring out three main things, what you did with that behavior, whether you numbed it, whether it caused you to, I don't know, scream at other people or. I don't, I have no idea. Right. We all do it differently, but what behavior kind of. And then you're figuring out the payoff of that belief. So, for instance, with this example, the belief is people I truly care about don't really see me. Maybe. Maybe that was the belief I don't know. So we ask, okay, what was that? What is the payoff of having this belief for that first grader? Maybe that having that belief made her feel some sense of control or helped her. I don't know. Sorry, I'm coming on blank, but there's a million reasons why we might not consciously think that that belief is helping us, but it really is. And it's usually a coping mechanism, and it's protect, a protection or whatever it is we're really worried about, which usually has to do with feeling unworthy on some level or feeling unlovable. That's usually what it boils down to. And the fear of that, or the fear of losing connection and love in some way. And so, like, figuring out the behavior, figuring out the ways that this belief helped you, and that's going to help you have a lot of compassion on yourself and see, like, oh, I really was doing the best I could. I was. This belief was so helpful because it kept me from thinking I was all alone, or it kept me from feeling isolated, or kept me from feeling what it might truly feel like if my friend really didn't like me. Or, you know, I don't know. This isn’t the best example, I don’t know. But you do that, and then you also figure out kind of what it cost you to keep that belief, or was the downside of that belief. So having that belief made it so maybe you really couldn't be seen or heard by this friend, because that's usually what it is. It's actually usually what we really want is what we're doing, this belief usually blocks us from getting, if that makes sense.

Totally.

Yeah, I don't. That's probably a lot, but essentially, that's, like, the big thing. And that, like, I think, brings about a lot of clarity. Maybe you can say something to that effect in your own experience. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I. Well, while you were talking, I was thinking, it's fascinating to me, as we're working through things, that, for me, I'll just have ideas come to mind, like, instantly, like, oh, I just have this thought of. Or memories will come up. And like you said, it can be kind of like, oh, that's goofy. Like, why is that such a pivotal moment in my mind? Or why is my brain recalling this? But, yeah, having that opportunity to work through that and, like you said, honoring that little girl. And then when you were talking about processing anger, you know, in one of our sessions, I had had an experience happen with people, and I never got the chance to have to resolve that with those people. And so you know we did kind of this, like, it's like a role play in my mind where I'm imagining what I wish I could have said to those people. And so getting that closure and being able to close that chapter for real or make peace with it. And then the last thing that you were or the next thing that came up while you were talking, I. With this, like, reframe of the beliefs that you had and how those beliefs served you in some way. For me, I remember in our last session, one of the things we worked through for the longest time, I just thought, I suck as a mom. This was an ongoing belief for me. And as we process through it, like, how did that serve you? It was. In some ways, it's easier to believe that I just suck. And if there was something that I do, my kids would get better than it is. To fully accept the reality that, oh, my kids have challenges and have these disabilities, and that is hard to make peace with. It's a lot harder to. At least for me at the time, it was a lot easier for me to say, I just suck as a mom.

Oh, yeah, we do that a lot where it really is protecting us from the real reality or the real truth by, like, us putting it on ourselves or putting it on other people. You know, it's definitely a common thing.

Yeah. But being able to work through that and, like, really accept one, have compassion for this mom who felt like she sucked all the time when she was just dealing with these really big things that she didn't know what was going on. And then moving forward, having the clarity and being able to accept the reality of my life has been super helpful in being a parent. So I think as I was working with you, being able to work through that past stuff, moving forward allows me to show up as a better mom and human.

Yeah. And I hope that wiggled that belief that you're a bad mom up a little bit where you're able to see at least a little bit more, like, okay, you're not, like, such a terrible mom because you really aren’t. You're so amazing.

You're very sweet.

So that's kind of the main, like, meat of a session. But then after you kind of brought up the roleplay aspect, aspect where you got to, you know, kind of have some closure with that conversation you never had or never got to have or whatever. So that is a big aspect as well. And sometimes that can come when you're processing a certain emotion with this experience where, like, come at the end, wherein, like, you kind of done all the things seen the belief and then kind of do some role play, but we also do verbal clearing, which is super important. When I first started learning this, I was like, ah, this is kind of like fluff, or it felt more like affirmations. Like, for me, affirmations are like, all right, they're like good, they're okay, but they're not like, they don't change me. They don't help me as much, you know, whatever. So when I was learning I like doing this, I was like, this is nice. But I realized that it's actually really powerful, especially to use your voice. It's literally, we just kind of go through the things we've talked about, and you're, you're just verbally saying, I clear, or I release, like, this negative emotion or this emotion, and I clear this belief about feeling unseen or being a bad mom. I clear all the negativity, whatever it is, you literally can just clear. Being able to verbalize that is so helpful. So we do that, and then we do the role play where you can go back.

So say it was like a traumatic experience with your younger self and interaction with an adult or with a parent. Role play can be really important in that aspect where you can have a safe space where you can invite your higher power to come in if you want, whatever that is for you. Or it can just be your higher self to come in and be there with you and help this younger child heal. A lot of times it's bringing accountability to-if it's like a situation where you were wronged or hurt. Right. Can have the adult, the situation come in in their higher knowing or their highest self, or we call it white light self, to come in and offer accountability and apologize and, like a verbal exchange in your mind with this person, that can be super healing. Or, like you said, the conversation that you were able to have that is really important because it's. It really is helping that inner child in you, whatever age that was, to, like, get that healing. That's literally where the healing comes in of, okay, I understand why I did the things I did. I understand how it's, like, kind of affecting my life now. And I can see that there could be another way, or usually that that kind of comes even after roleplay sometimes, or where you're able to just kind of come full circle because that hole or that wound is healed, because you've honestly healed it yourself. You literally have brought these people in to say the things they need to say to you or to do the actions that maybe it was an adult that didn't protect you or didn't stand up for you or whatever it is, they can come in then, and you can replay it. Right. And it's beautiful, and it's amazing. Anyways, so that's role play. We do the verbal clearing roleplay, and. And we can end with affirmations as well, which I downplayed, but those are helpful, too. So that's kind of. Sorry, to answer your question, that's kind of what a session is like and can be very helpful.

One thing I did want to say, too, is a lot of people, when they come in, they're a little nervous, and I was, too, when I was doing the school, I was just like, I feel so vulnerable. I have no idea what's gonna happen. And it's not like I have or the facilitator has some, like, magical energy magic that's gonna, like, pull out trauma you're not ready to pull out or bring up things or see things or whatever. It's literally an energetic exchange, just like a conversation is energetic exchange, and it's really just know that your body is not gonna bring up, bring you to an age that you're not ready to process or bring you to an experience that you're not ready to process. And especially if you don't feel comfortable with me or if you don't have that trust yet, you know, or that rapport, then your body isn't gonna bring it up, and neither is mine. Like, I'm like, when I'm muscle testing, it's gonna know, like, okay, that's not something that I can deal with or whatever, if that makes sense. So I just wanted to say that for anyone that's, like, about it, or, like, that feels very vulnerable. It can be vulnerable, but really, know. Like, just kind of learn to trust your body and think back all the ways of how it's helped you and how it's serving you and how it's, like, literally beating every other second for you. Right. And it's so intelligent and that it will just never bring up anything you're not ready to deal with.

Yeah. The body knows, man. And speaking of the body, one of the things that I wanted to ask you about, the first reason that I had a session with you is I have chronic pain. And so, I just think things, you know, our mental, emotional, physical selves are so interconnected, and so I've tried lots of mental things as well to. Or, like, emotional healing stuff to deal with the pain in my body. And I'd love to hear, do you think that past experiences and past trauma, like, what's your take on it? Can that play a role in chronic pain?

Yeah, completely. I think it can, for sure. Like, even just if you want to go science based. Right. Like, there's a lot of science, especially coming out now, which I honestly have. I used to be really deep into more science and kind of that more logic brain, which is really important, but I feel like I've kind of swung to the other side where it's more of, like, learning how to trust my intuition and myself and what my body's saying. Right. And so I haven't delved into the science, is what I'm saying as much as I should. But during, there's, like, so many books we read, like, you know, “The Body Keeps the Score” and, oh, what is it? Oh, my gosh, I'm blanking. Sorry. But another book that I can, like, send to you. Yeah. That just talks about the science behind that, of how emotional, mental trauma, abuse, or just anything we perceive as, like, a threat. Right. Our body going into that fight or flight mode really does influence your physiology. Even when you just think about, like, love and how much you love someone and how that feels inside you. Like, you can feel that difference, but also there's actual physiological changes with it. So I definitely think that. I do think that we're just a lot more integrated than what we've been taught growing up. Right. Oh, psychologist for the brain and then the doctor for the body. And it's like we're all, I think we're all collectively past that. Like, where it's all separate, like we're. We know it all works together. And so definitely one can influence the other. And it's kind of. It's. I think it's interesting because it's probably case by case where it's like, is it like chicken before the egg thing? Where it's like, is your chronic pain trying to tell you something about emotional stuff, or is, like, emotional stuff being stored there that's causing this pain? I think it's kind of individual on each, like, I don't know, individual basis.

It's interesting because my own personal journey, I found that doing the emotional work has been super helpful in helping with physical things, but not like this. Like, in my mind, I was like, oh, I'm going to work on my emotional stuff, do my inner child work, my shadow work, and all my chronic fatigue and depression, and everything's going to go away. And I can tell you it's been like, a huge chunk has been like aleviated. But it's not gone. Right. Yeah. And so that's definitely something that I'm still figuring out and figuring out the balance of that. I also think in reverse, you can have very, like, a physical pain or trauma or something. For me, I was in, like, three major car accidents, and I passed out in the bathroom and hit my head, got a concussion, and, like, anyways, just stuff where I'm, like, I'm coming to a point where I'm realizing, like, oh, there is a lot of stuff with my depression stuff I think is very physical, you know, where I'm like, I feel like I've done this emotional work as much as I can, and now it's like, hey, here's this physical stuff that you've got, you know, to work with. So I don't know if that answers your question, but, yes, it totally influences it. I think working on it can definitely help. It's not like it's gonna solve everything, right? It's not like, there are experiences where it does. It can really alleviate certain. It totally depends. Right. Like, during school, there were so many examples, especially with my instructor, the founder, where she was like, yeah, this lady was suffering with some physical symptom that was just like, this is like apparent, and there they do, like, three sessions, it's gone, that type of thing. Right? And I do believe that that happens. And again, it just depends.

Yeah, it's not necessarily for everybody.

Yeah.

So, you know, I came to largely wanting to deal with chronic pain for the first session. After that, I came to you to deal with other stuff, but. And, yeah, for me, it wasn't. It wasn't. It didn't cure me. But I do notice a difference, like, overall stress levels, which, for me, I feel a difference. When I'm less stressed, the pain is more tolerable. But you had mentioned at the beginning that you came to this work largely because of your mental health. And how has dealing with your past and processing through that helped your mental health, or have you seen a difference?

Yeah. Yes. Like, short answer. Yes, for sure. And it's. It's one of those things that's like. It's interesting because I don't know. Like, I, I should have asked my husband or, like, other family or friends around me how much they've noticed a difference, you know, because me, it's like night and day. Right. But to them, I think it's a lot more subtle, and there's some other stuff like, that have just, like, it's interesting. I'll just. I have definitely, like, been dealing with more crap lately. It's kind of like I did the healing, like, year long program. I kept working on it, and I, like, felt great and amazing. And then I, like, quit working. Anyways, I just kind of gave myself this time to, like, just not to just exist, be a human, if that makes sense. And it was almost like, oh, Shailynn, you've been in fight or flight for so long, now you're finally in rest and digest. So let's freaking ramp it up and heal all this stuff that hasn’t been healed. It's like all the stuff that you've been avoiding because you couldn't, right. You couldn't hand it physically and emotionally, we're doing it now. That's kind of what it felt like. So that's kind of skewed it, I think, for sure, if I were to ask people.

But for me, yes, I feel like it definitely has helped my mental health, especially, like, there's just some themes. So for me, I think one of the biggest things that has helped me with is to, maybe a couple things. So, one, it's helped me so much to let go of what is not mine, which I guess that's a very simple way. There's a lot to it for me, though. Like, especially there's so many things in family dynamics and, like, generational patterns that are kind of, you kind of. It is a physiological thing almost. And it is like, mental patterns, emotional patterns, and that are reinforced in family dynamics as well. Of, like, this is what love means. Love means to. It can be anything from people, please, to carry. Carry their stuff that you can't even really carry, but to carry it anyways. And to kind of. I've had to work through a lot of that. Like, that whole year was me figuring out what is mine? What is yours. I remember in class, one of the lessons was the instructor, like, hey, here's this pillow I have. It's my pillow. I bought it. I wanted it. This is mine, or whatever. And then I've got my friend over there, like, Sally, and she doesn't have a pillow. But you know what? This pillow is kind of getting annoying to carry so I'm just going to throw it to her and she catches it because she's like, oh, okay, yeah, I'll catch it. And then we kind of throw back and forth. Like, it's kind of like a game, you know, and but then it becomes tiresome and repetitive and, like, realizing that she really didn’t. Sally doesn't really want to hold this pillow because it's not hers. It's like, she's done playing whatever. Right?

Yeah.

Like, we do that emotionally as well. And in relationships, right. Where it's, like, whatever this pillow is, like, it could be as simple as, like, I don't know, I'm insecure. Let me throw that to you. I'm going to throw my insecurities on you, whether that's. Right, like, just, like, judgment or whatever it is to other heavy stuff. Right. Like, that. We can't even articulate where it's just, like, this heaviness and this, in my case, like, fatigue or whatever, right. Where doing this healing helped me to see, like, this-all this stuff that I've been carrying is not even mine. And it was so profound to me to see, like, I knew it wasn't mine, but in my case, it was like, it doesn't matter. It's not mine. I love my family. I want to help carry it. I want to, like, be there. I want to connect. And this is how we connect, by carrying each other's crap. Right. And, and a lot of that was just my own perception. Like, I thought that's how we had to do this. I thought that's how this, like, relationship worked, when really it wasn't. And they probably weren't even, like, trying to throw me the pillow. I just, like, picked it up. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And so that was huge for me to take that weight and the responsibility and to realize, like, when you're in it, and in so many sessions, I had to re-realize, like, oh, I can't. Even if I hold the pillow, it's not helping them. It's literally not helping them because they, it's, they don't, they're not. If I take it away, they're not dealing with their stuff. I take that opportunity away from them to deal with their stuff. I take their responsibility away from them, and that's robbing them. I'm literally making it worse, honestly, you know, by trying to carry it when it's not mine to carry. So that freed me of so much. So much space and that alone. Right. Like, no wonder I was so, like, fatigued. Like, I'm literally just, like, carrying everyone's crap or thinking I am. Yeah, thinking I'm helping and thinking whatever when I’m really not. Right. So that freed up a ton of emotional space and the weight of the responsibility of, like, this is the only way I can connect with these people. These are the only way I can secure love with these people by doing this. And it's like, oh, that is false. That is false. Here's all the evidence I can see now of that. Let me try it this new way. And this new way is actually super healthy and helpful. And this new way is more honest because it's like, I'm going to take what's mine. The only thing I can really do to help you and help my family and to connect on a meaningful way is for me to carry my stuff, let go of what's not mine, and to live my best, highest self. And I can't do that when I carry other people's stuff, so. And they can't do it either if they have their stuff strewed out instead of, like, dealing with it. Right.

Yeah.

So Anyways,

Yeah, no, that. When you were talking about that, one thing for me is carrying other people's worries and having to let go of other people's worries about, you know, my life or situation, you know, anyways, so I could see how that would totally help your mental health.

Yeah, that's definitely one aspect. I think the other, the other aspect is, like, learning to, like, be, be your own authority, I guess. For me, that has been a huge one. Right. Where, like, I didn't, I didn't even realize that I was like, I was my own authority. Right. I just, like, kind of gave that away. Or like, whatever patterning, whether it was like, no, your parents make all decisions, or the man of the house, he makes the money, so he has the power. Whatever it was that I thought or beliefs, I accepted. Being able to realize, like, oh, that was actually me just giving away my power, being like, yeah, that's okay, you can have this authority in my life that is huge. To make that shift and realize, oh, no, I just gave that to you. You didn't really take it. Like, you couldn't take it without my permission. So, like, I gave it over, so I literally can just take it back. That is huge, too. Also with my mental health, because it feels so empowering and mental health, like, with my depression, anxiety, it felt like, so much out of my control. Right? Like, everything's like, I'm so, like, vulnerable or whats the word? I was at the whim. There we go. I was at the whim of life circumstances and people's actions and lack of actions or whatever. It was like, my stability was so, like, dependent on other people's stuff and what they had going on or what they said to me even, or did to me or didn't do. Right. It's like being able to realize, like, oh, I'm the authority. I'm the only one that can actually choose for myself and accept or not accept these actions around me or influences or whatever. Like, I just was so empowered and, like, oh, I don't necessarily have to be at the whim of whoever or whatever. Does that make sense?

Totally.

Yeah.

Really resonates with the stuff that I've been working through, too, especially with parenting, because, you know, I have children with disabilities, and for so long, you know, I was raised a certain way, so that was the model that I had with how to raise kids, or, I love reading and learning, so I spent so much time pouring over all these parenting books, my kids aren't fitting the book, but I just felt like that's the way that it had to be. And this past couple years of learning to take back my authority with parenting. And, like, I know my kids, and I am seeing the data right in front of my eyes of what's working and what's not working. And I can make those decisions that work best for my family, even if other people looking at it would be like, that's crazy. You know, they don't know all the intricacies of my life. So, I can totally resonate with what you're saying.

I think that's such a beautiful thing, too, that a lot of children with disabilities, like, that's such a gift to give our society and the collective to be like, hey, this is an awesome opportunity for you to confront the ways in which you are not your own authority and, like, how much you care about what other people think. And how much your decision making is, you know, might be not from you or what your life experience is, but from what's been taught or what's been seen by other whatever. And it's like, no, this is a whole new way. Like, here we are. Deal with us. Like, we're here. We're, like, here to help you as well. Right? Figure out.

I feel like, especially with autistic people, like, my kids are both autistic, and they just have such a unique way of seeing the world. Like, they don't put up with the bull-s that the rest of us do. They see right through it. And so, yeah, they're constantly questioning, like, why does it have to be this way? And so it has totally-unraveling everything, you know?

Yeah, that's beautiful. Like, that's what we need. It's like, we need to, like, get rid of all the fluff and all the, like, doing things for maybe not the right reasons or understanding the reasons at least, you know.

Yeah.

Beautiful. Yeah. That's a beautiful gift they, they are offering us, for sure.

Yeah. It's been. What's the word? Like the refiners fire. I just have felt that.

Yeah, you're. I mean, I have no idea, Megan, because I am honestly not, I'm not a parent of the child with disabilities, and I don't have a ton of autistic people around me, but, like, so you are definitely in the refiners fire, and you're definitely getting there before all of us, but we're, like, right behind you, and we're like, all right, we definitely have to get there. But you kind of got the fast track, whether you want or not. It's like, here's the fast track.

Yes. To healing, to growth. Totally.

Oh. Like, one of the questions you had sent me, kind of, like, to help prep was about how, like, parents of children with disabilities, like, how doing the inner healing work can kind of benefit them as parents. And I love that question. And, I mean, I'm not an authority on it, so maybe, like. Right. You've kind of shared your experience and how it's helped you. But I think it's interesting that I think two things kind of happen with that when you are doing that work. Again, I don't have experience, but I can imagine that it must take a ton of holding space for your kids. Like, a ton of having to be present and having to be a safe place for them. Right. It takes a lot as a regular parent, so it must take so much as a parent with disabilities. And I think doing your own inner work helps you to have more space for that, I think. Because it helps clear out some of the old patterns, old wounds, old things that are kind of holding you or holding space in your body and in your mental space as well. So doing that inner work, I think, helps clear that so that you can have more space. Kind of what fills that space from doing that inner work is love and self compassion. I don't know if you felt that, but for me, doing this work just, like, filled me with so much self compassion of, like, oh, my gosh, I no longer think you're a terrible, horrible person. I can understand why you're doing certain things, and I can understand that you're like, you have beautiful come froms or reasoning of why you did things. Right, totally. So just, that it fills it with love and self compassion that expands your ability to hold space for other people, I think.

Yeah.

So I think doing that as a parent in your situation can be helpful that way. And then the second thing I think it does is as you're, like, going back to these ages, you're reconnecting to, like, your inner child and, like, these, like, vulnerable but fun ages. Like, how you were right as a kid and as adults, it's, like, so quick for us to just be like, this is how it is now. I don't remember how I was as a kid, but, like, if you take the time to think, like, oh, when I was a kid, I remember this being such a big deal, and it was so this is my whole life, right. But now you can see that it's not. So, like, connecting to those ages also, like, offers you a remembrance of what it's like to be a kid. And in that space and in that, like, where things feels like everything feels like life or death sometimes at certain ages, right. That can give you compassion on your kids now and, like, connect in that way. Like, and maybe, you know, it's not going to be, like, a complete connection of, like, okay, they're going through this and I went through this, but you're able to see, like, oh, I do remember feeling and experiencing something like this. Or, you know, it just fills you with greater perspective and understanding. Maybe for your kids. I don't know, though. But what do you see?

Yeah, totally. I think working on myself has allowed me not to get as triggered in the moments with them. Yeah. Because I have a greater capacity now that I'm more healed myself.

Yeah.

And being able to reframe things in a new light, you know, has, has helped me to parent because it'll be like, oh, I used to think that good parents feed their kids only organic food and then being hit with this situation where, well, my kids not eating anything. So now I'm having to adjust and feeling like a bad parent, but then being able to work through that and reframe it in a new light of good parents make sure their kids are fed, period. You know, thinking back to when I was a kid, too, and how I have my own food sensitivities as well. And so having compassion for my kids now, like, oh, I remember when my grandma came to stay with us and she made spaghetti, but instead of, like, the normal amount of meat that my mom did, the whole thing was full of meat, and I hated meat. And so I remember how, yeah, it felt so, like you were saying it's like this life or death. Like, I literally cannot live because my grandma put this much meat in the sauce, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

And so being able to, you know, remember what it's like as a kid and have that compassion for your kids’ experiences.

For sure. For sure.

So, no, I think it's been very helpful and for healing for myself. Like you said, it fills you with love and self compassion, and it's a lot easier to show up as a loving, kind human for your kids when you are whole yourself.

For sure. Yes. Yeah, completely. Again, you can, like, relate it back to, like, the physical body. Like, right. If you have, like, these wounds or unhealth wounds or, like, an open gash, it's like, it's so much harder when you're in pain yourself to concentrate on your child's pain, and you compare it-your pain is nothing like, it's not that hard to eat this piece of chicken, let alone, I'm here dealing with this open gash wound or whatever, you know? Same thing. And, like, when you, when you do heal that wound, it's like, oh, I can, I have the capacity now to see, like, it is difficult to eat that chicken nugget, you know? Like, I get it. You know what I mean? Like, you have more space and compassion. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. No, I think it's been super helpful.

Okay. So for someone that is new to healing work, you had mentioned, you know, I think your tip that it's not gonna bring up things that you're not ready to deal with, but do you have any, like, what's the first steps? Or do you have any advice for people that are new to working through, you know, processing their past and that kind of stuff?

Yeah, honestly, I hate that some people say this or healing, but it's, like, kind of the first step, but it's like, just becoming more aware is the goal of kind of, like, where you're at. Because, like, we're, a lot of times, we're just so on autopilot through everything, and we've been taught to function autopilot and to not stop and analyze ourselves or our thoughts or how we're feeling, even. Right. And so awareness, I think, is the first key. And for me, what has, like, I think, was first initially helpful in that is doing morning pages. Like, have you heard of The Artist's Way.

No, I haven't heard of that.

Cameron. I forgot her name. But The Artist's Way, it's a great book. It's, like, kind of connecting artists back to their creativity. But we did it in the year long program, and it was more. It was like, connecting us to our intuition, or you can use it for whatever avenue. But anyways, one of the practices in there is doing morning pages, which essentially is like, free writing every morning. Like, it was like three pages, but you kind of do what you want. And for me, that was super helpful to, like, just, like, have something where every day I'm just reflecting or also, it was an amazing place to release emotions and frustration and just, like, get it all out, right?

Yeah.

So that's kind of, I would suggest that for anyone to start, just like, start, if you already have a journal practice. Awesome. Then do that. Maybe in your journaling, maybe one part of it is just questioning. Like, it can be as simple as, like, how do, how does my body literally feel right now? How does my emotional mental state? Where am I at? Or maybe it's like, hey, this interaction with this person, why was I so triggered? What was that? It's literally just asking yourself questions to help you kind of get out of autopilot and be more curious instead of triggered, right? I mean, you're still going to be triggered, but maybe after that trigger in the emotional wave, you can be more curious of, like, why did I react that way? Or what is this stemming from? Or what might, what does this make me think of? Or whatever it is that, like, having a practice where you can kind of have an outlet for that and to just sit with yourself and evaluate that, that's kind of like the first steps and that's kind of a lot to do. Like, for me, that was hard. That was, like, hard to implement when I was not a journaler, really. Like maybe once a month. You know, I kind of, and I don't, I'm not, I'm definitely, like, not a rigid, practice this every day. Do it for this amount of time is very, like, loosey goosey for me. But I tried, like, made the effort to at least, like, write a paragraph, you know, like, every day. And if I didn't, that's okay, the next day, just keep going. Or some, I know for some people, it's helpful to even just do audio recording if you don't like to write. If you don't want to type it up on your computer, like, just record yourself on a video or on audio or whatever to where you're literally being able to see and hear your thoughts and be more curious and ask yourself those questions. So I think that's one step, but kind of a big step.

From there. I think for me, again, I brought this up a lot, but for me, I think part of my healing journey was really discovering or rediscovering again, my own authority but the intuition aspect, so kind of leaning in to what my heart was saying or trying to convey or try whatever that being connected. I think doing these sessions, you kind of. You get there. Like, you kind of do that already. Like, that's, it's literally trying to drop you into your heart so you can access your subconscious. But if you can do that now, like, just practicing, whether that's, like, meditation is a great one. I know, like, some people love or hate it, whatever, but it could literally just be sitting in nature for, like, five minutes and just trying to drop in that heart space and just connect and knowing that, like, hey, my body knows what's best for me. I can heal. It has the power. It has the blueprint, again, for, like, how to heal this gash in my arm. It perfectly knows which cells to send, which, how to create whatever. It's the same with my emotional healing. And, like, it can. It's possible.

So I don't know. Those maybe are two things. Like the, the morning pages or just journaling practice and being curious about kind of how you're feeling, your emotional state, and maybe triggers or things that are going on right now and get out. Like, in the moment. It's really hard, right when you are triggered, like, just give yourself grace, allow yourself to be triggered, allow yourself to express those emotions. And I think that's, again, that's something that we're not really taught how to do. Even our kids, right. I've tried to teach my daughter, and it's still, it's, like, hard to remember. Like, no, you're allowed these feelings. Here's a safe place to do it. You want to scream in your pillow. Awesome. You want to scribble really hard on this piece of paper. You want to punch this pillow, whatever it is, to be able to express that, offer that to yourself and the grace. And then once that's settled, right, then you can turn on your, the prefrontal cortex, where you can kind of evaluate and be more curious about, okay, what was that like? Why was it, you know?

Yeah. What's interesting with the free pages, that has been a consistent thing in, like, I do therapy and coaching, and a lot of people, they have different names for it. Thought download, free writing, brain dump. But it is really good. Like, for me, I'll just write down any thought that comes into my head. And so as you're reading it, it's super random. Like, oh, there's a bird. And then I'm like, oh, I'm so mad at whatever, you know, it's all over the place. But it helps you see, you are having so many thoughts. Like, constantly. And sometimes you're not even aware, like, what's going on in there. That idea of bringing awareness to it, I think is a great first step.

And I don't know if you're into human design at all either. But anyways, there's people that have an undefined ajna or brain center, whatever. Anyways, this is, like, I am that. So, like, I literally pick up all the thoughts and beliefs and stuff of other people instead of, like, generating my, or, like, I can generate my own, but it's like, so much can get kind of crammed in there, I think, for all of us, right. We turn on the news and it's just like, forget about it. Right? Yeah. We're not even able. We're just so full of stuff. So having that practice to literally. Yeah. Like, the brain dump idea, too, is so important to get out. So then you can really, like, have some space in there to, like, okay, what am I really. What do I really want? You can have more intention because it's not full. Right.

Yeah, you can, it gives you the space to create your own thoughts or the narrative that you want to be playing in your mind.

Exactly.

But you have to have that awareness first and then the meditation piece of it or mindfulness sitting with it. That was a game changer for my healing, too. So I love that you brought those up.

And for years, you know, I didn't always have the resources to work with people. And so for years, it was a lot of, like, DIY approach to healing, and there's definitely a place for that. And I love that. But I also wanted to talk about the importance of, or ask you about community or working with somebody else in healing.

Yeah, I love that question because it's definitely. It's interesting. That's kind of front of mind for me right now. I feel like I kind of had this, like, actually, I was talking to your mom about this when she was down for the wedding. But anyways, I feel like this existential crisis of, like, because I, before, it was like, my healing was like, I outsourced it. Right? It was like, oh, I need you. I need you. I need you. Like, I, I don't know how to fix me. And then it turned into this. No, like, oh, I actually. I can turn inward and I can figure out or have navigation or where I should go or where, what really would be healing, like. And can I really heal myself? Like, I really, truly believe, like, we have the healing within us, but it was this existential crisis of, like, but I can't really do it on my own. Like, I need other people. Right. Like, so what does this mean? Like, I need other people, but I have all the answers. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think I've kind of landed, like, it's still, like, I'm still trying to figure that out, but for me, I think it's, it is so important to be witnessed. And I think a huge part that people outside of ourselves do for us, whether that's, like, coaching. Yeah. Or like, a doctor or healer whatever, like, someone else. And even it can just be right, like, this is how it used to be, it used to be community. It used to be the whole community witnessed your ailment and tried to help or witness whatever. You were just so integrated, and now it's kind of all segmented and separated, so we don't really have that built in as much anymore. But I think being witnessed is just a huge aspect and importance of the healing process, if that makes sense. So for me, yeah, again, I'm still trying to, like, figure that out where it's like, yes, I have what I need within me to heal, but I also want and choose other people to help me and witness me and see me in different aspects that I may need to be witnessed and seen. And I feel like maybe at some point, we're, like, so completely healed, we're able to be that witness for ourself perfectly. Maybe. I don't know. Like, but for right now, there's too many, like, unseen parts of ourself that we're working to heal that, like, we can't fully be that witness for ourself. And if that makes sense, that's kind of where I'm at with that. I don't even know. You guys might think I'm so weird in thinking that, but that's kind of.

No, I totally get it.

That’s where I'm at right now. And I think community, like I said, community is so important, and it's. It is kind of sad that we have to, like, hire it out now. Don't have it as much, but it is, like, such an integral part, and I think. I don't know. I'm, like, still figuring out, like, why is that so important? It's almost like. It's almost like you look outside, right, and you see nature, and it's like, it's there to be witnessed. It's there to be seen and, like, adored and loved and. You know what I mean? I don't know. So it's like, there's something so healing about that to have that for us. And I think that does come from, it can come from family, it can come from coaches, it can come from co-workers, it can come from, you know, some places we don't even realize. Right. But I do think community and having people outside ourselves to help us is super important, even though I do hold onto the core that, like, we know what we need to heal. And maybe it's just like, I know that I need this specific person or whatnot, you know? And maybe we can evolve to where it's like, I don't necessarily need this outside source, but I choose it because it's an awesome experience to have and it's awesome to have a connection with another person or whatnot.

Well, for me, I've, you know, a lot of my parenting experience has been very isolating. My kids have a hard time doing things and sometimes I can't relate with other people's experiences. And I'm realizing, like, one of the biggest pushes for me or biggest my why for this podcast is that connection. And it is so important to me and creating the community that I need, you know? And so I've loved having the opportunity to work with people that have had training and they have specific, you know, wisdom. And so I've seen a lot of value in that they can see situations in a different perspective than I've been looking at it. And so it's good to get that other brain that's outside of you to see what's going on, but also the community aspect of, like, we're all living in this, like, molecular soup, you know, and we're all connected and, you know, that idea of like, oh, a butterfly flapping its wings in China is affecting us over here because it's all this, like, web that we're all connected. So I've just seen a lot of value in that. And with you specifically, I feel like you're very compassionate and kind. You're open minded. You have a very loving, safe demeanor.

Thank you.

Like, the idea of, like, bedside manner. Like, you're very sweet and good energy. So I'm curious, I don't know if you want to talk about, you know, maybe any success stories or things that have, you know, that feel poignant or maybe how you help people that where maybe healing, they're kind of resistant to it.

Yeah, I think. Okay. To address the those that are resistant aspect, I think it's okay. Like, I think, at least in my own experience, it's kind of like when what's that, like, chinese parable? When the student is ready, the teacher will come, that type of thing. I feel like that with healing, right? Like, when you're ready, things will be ready. Like, you'll be ready to heal when it's time to heal. And if you're feeling, like, resistant, maybe it's like. But you also like people. It's kind of like they feel resistance, but they also feel a pull. They're like, I know that maybe this will be good for me, or maybe this is where I need to be. And it's like just figuring out that balance of, like, when is that pull more than the resistance? When that pull is more than the resistance, then maybe just try to be more open up to it or maybe schedule an appointment with someone, or maybe just start talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I think it's okay that resistance really is just, like, a protection mechanism, and it's fine. It's there to serve us, but when it's like, it can be out of balance, right? Yeah, I think. I think for us, like, we do like to research, we like to, like, learn, right? You're a much better researcher than me, but I think just if you're at that point, or maybe, like, you're even just doing more research to help you feel more comfortable or listen to, like, a podcast like this or some up, right. Like, to where you can be like, all right, this might be not as scary as I think. And then again, like, maybe finding ways to, like, connect with yourself so you can build up that self trust and that intuition to know, like, you're in charge, you may be resistant, and that's fine. You can choose, but maybe you feel that pull, and when you feel that pull, you're not going to be out of control when you're in a healing setting. Right. And, yeah, just. It's okay if you're not ready yet, you know, like, your time will come.

Was there anything else that you felt like that you wanted to say?

I wish, I, like, my memory is kind of terrible, and, like, when I do these sessions, like, I kind of take notes just to kind of help me, like, ask good questions and stuff, but I kind of just, like, let it go, like my memory of it, I kind of, like, because it's not mine, again.

Yeah.

Like, to hold. I kind of, it's neat when you're doing the healing because I can, at the same time, kind of heal myself, too. Like, there's things, right, that I can relate to or whatever. I can do that healing. So that's cool. But I also just kind of throw it out. So, like, I wish I had more, like, oh, I remember this specific, like, amazing story.

I do have one. I guess that kind of stood out to me. This beautiful older woman came to me. I had worked with her daughter quite a bit, and so, so she's like, oh, my daughter sent me here. I'm like, I'm really afraid of dogs. Like, I just want to get over this fear of dogs. And to cut to the chase, we didn't actually, like, address or we started to, right, we, we couldn't fully address the dog issue, but we started to. And that's kind of that. Maybe that's something to know about these sessions, right. I think with anything, your first session is usually either, like, super profound and super helpful, or it's like, just laying the groundwork to be able or, like, getting comfortable enough to be able to dig into deeper wounds, you know? And again, it is a big, like, your brain is awesome and complex, and it is a web of whole bunch of different memories and things that are all tied together. And when you do these sessions, it kind of unhooks certain parts that are, like, hung up. Right. So then it, like, loosens up, but then you realize, oh, there's another tug here that I didn't feel before. Right, like, issue. So that's kind of like, again, your body knows what it needs to do first. And so if you want to go into session trying to, like, heal your back pain, for instance, or whatever, there might be, like, a whole web of other things that your body's like, but these might be more important, or these are needed first in order to unhook that huge, big one. You know what I mean?

So, anyways, in this session, obviously, that was kind of how it was where she wanted to address a specific thing, but her body was like, oh, we're going to go to this specific age and deal with this first. Okay. And I don't remember a ton of details besides the healing involved kind of the role play part, and, like, higher power coming in was a lot of her just, like, being in really beautiful, strong light, like, white light just surrounded. I was almost like, man, I might need to go. Like, she's like, she's, like, enjoying this light, wants to take, like, a ton of time on, you know, like, just living in it. And I was like, that's awesome. Like, if you. Whatever. It was just, like, a ton of healing that way with just a ton of light. And we had a, I think we had a dress there's some childhood memory, and part of it was, like, she just remembered these shadows from the tree in her home. It had to do with something. I don't remember the details, but it was awesome. She, like, left. She, like, she was like, thank you. I'm like, okay. I don't, you know, this is, like, how it works. I don't know if you're gonna, you know, like, be healed of your fear of dogs. Like, it's still gonna be there.

Anyways, she came back, and she came back and she was like, oh, my goodness, Shailynn. Like, she has the sweetest accent, but she was just like, it's, like, life changing. Like, she kind of had a thick accent. So, like, I'm kind of don't remember exactly what she said, but it was like, I can go out into dark now. I can go in the dark. Like, she had explained to me that before, she could not feel safe at night not being in her home. So she would drop whatever she was doing or be very aware of when, like, sunfall was or sunfall, sundown. What am I trying to say? When the sunset was, so that she would have enough time to be home, because she was terrified of not being in her home at night, and she couldn't go anywhere at night, which, if I think about that, that's, like, so that would impede so much in my life. Right when the sun. But she said that she, since that session, she was able. She had no fear. Like, she was able to go at night. She was like, the other day, I went on a walk in the dusk and, like, all this, like, she's like, just. Anyways, that's, like, one, like, fun. Like, change. That was fun to, like, remember. That was more of, like, a physical thing, I guess. I mean, it was emotional, but, like, also impeded her day to day life. So that was, like, cool. I wish. I think kind of just. She might have moved or I can't remember exactly what happened. So we couldn’t do more sessions, but I would love to do more to be able to kind of heal that, like, fear of dogs, because I think it can be really transformative for you to kind of go in and realize where do the, what does it, you know, stem from or whatever.

But, yeah, again, sorry, I wish I had more specific examples. Like, I can give you a million of my own, like, my own healing, but I feel like I covered quite a bit of, like, more, maybe more generalized. But if you want more specifics of how this has helped me and, like, going through a session you guys can always go to my TikTok page or Instagram page. I kind of, I mean, I really suck at sharing of social media, but I'm trying to get better, it’s long form, but you can kind of get examples from there.

Yeah. Okay. So if people want to. If they are interested in this work, they want to work with you or learn more about it. So, TikTok, Instagram, where else can people find you?

Yeah, mostly there. And I'm honestly looking up my name because I don't even know. Okay. It's intuitive.healing.shai and Shai is S-h-a-i, and that's TikTok and Instagram. So you can find me on there through that. But, yeah, I'm pretty, I don't have a website or anything like that, I'm pretty low maintenance.

Well, I just want to thank you so much. I love what we've been able to talk about and all your wisdom and the work that you do, and you're amazing, and I'm so grateful. So thank you so much.

Thanks, Megan. I say the same about you. I feel like you are doing such an awesome job. I'm so, like, proud of this podcast, and I'm proud of your account and what you're doing that's so huge and gonna be so helpful to so many people. Like, I'm sure it already has been so, and you were saying in the beginning how, like, I don't know, you're making me feel good and building my ego that I was, like, good and can hold space. I just feel like you are ten times that. You are so compassionate. You're so, you have such an ability to, like, maybe it's drawing the best out of people, I don't know. But drawing that loving, compassionate part out of people, I think, like, you're really good at that.

You’re so sweet.

Thanks for joining us today. Where dreams are nurtured, challenges are met with resilience, and every tiny step forward is a victory. Hit subscribe so you can easily find new episodes and join this community, because maybe this will be the cure.