This episode dives deep into the transformative journey of self-love and empowerment, emphasizing that our brains are wired to validate our self-talk, whether positive or negative.

Courtney Cote joins us to share her insights on moving from a survival mindset to a thriving one, where forgiveness and self-compassion serve as key components in breaking generational cycles of guilt and shame.

We explore the significance of conscious parenting and how embracing vulnerability can lead to profound change, not just for ourselves, but also for our children.

Courtney's personal experiences illustrate how she has shifted her focus from merely surviving to truly thriving, allowing her to foster deeper connections with her family and herself.

Join us as we discuss practical tools for self-improvement and the joy that comes from living authentically and purposefully.

Takeaways:

• Understanding that our brain's main job is to validate our beliefs is crucial for self-awareness and growth. If we think negatively, our brain will find evidence to support that negativity.
• Embracing self-love means forgiving ourselves quickly and letting go of guilt and shame to empower our personal transformation.
• The concept of conscious parenting emphasizes being aware of our triggers and how our past shapes our responses, enabling us to foster healthier relationships with our children.
• Incorporating gratitude into daily life can shift our perspective and improve our emotional state, as our brains cannot hold both positive and negative thoughts simultaneously.
• Creating a thriving environment for ourselves and our children involves breaking generational cycles of trauma and nurturing unconditional love in our relationships.
• The journey of self-discovery and healing is ongoing and acknowledging that there is always more work to do is key to continuous personal growth and empowerment.

Links referenced in this episode:

• www.besitosbeauty.com

You can connect with Courtney on her website: www.ilovemeunconditionally.com

And on her social media accounts:

FB: https://www.facebook.com/courtneylcote77/

Instagram: @cotecourtney

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/courtneylcote

YouTube: youtube.com/@courtneycote6163

A Warrior’s Spirit can be found on all the major platforms at lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33 as well as on ROKU via the ProsperaTV Network app. Be sure to like or subscribe so you never miss an episode!

The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net

Coming up on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

I wish people could really understand that our brain's job is to make us right.

So it doesn't matter if you're being negative with yourself or positive with yourself.

No more guilt and shame like self love, right?

Forgive quickly ourselves, not even others like ourselves, right?

So we can move on and be empowered.

So that's the thriving state.

That's the beautiful quantum leap and shift.

Career Spirit provides a platform for independent voices, professionals, and thought leaders to share their insights, experiences, and perspectives.

The views and opinions expressed by hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Praxis 33 or its affiliates.

Content shared within this program is intended for informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only.

While the host and some guests may be professionals or subject matter experts, the information presented is general in nature and should not replace personalized advice from qualified professionals regarding your individual circumstances.

By viewing this program, you acknowledge that any decisions or actions taken based on the content are your own responsibility.

I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence found in the flame now we're my battle cry without shame this isn't the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the

welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit brought to you by Praxis33.

I'm your host, Darrell Snow.

Let's dive in.

In the intricate tapestry of life, Courtney Cote emerges as a beacon of light and transformation dedicated to empowering mothers while breaking generational cycles.

Born with an indomitable spirit, she embarked on a lifelong odyssey of self discovery and healing that would ultimately shape her into the professional.

Professional mom, coach and advocate for material.

Excuse me, for maternal well being.

We know today.

Courtney is the founder of I Love Me Unconditionally, helping women overcome burnout and overwhelm while helping them finally find inner peace.

Courtney, welcome back to the show.

Thanks, Darrell.

Nice to be here.

Good to see you again.

Yeah.

This is number three for you.

We've followed your story and your arc for a few years now, and I was telling you off camera, you know, there's a joy and a glow that's coming forth.

So, you know, something new in your life is happening.

What's causing this new phase?

The glow up.

The glow up everything.

Yeah, there's a lot happening, Darrel.

We are thriving.

The girls are thriving.

I have a new life partner.

You know, we're doing it all.

You know, it's fun.

Yeah.

Life.

We're thriving.

What?

What Caused the transformation?

Was it the meeting someone new or was it the growth you've experienced or the work you've been doing?

Like what's, what's been the catalyst for this transformation?

Frequency energy.

Yeah, declaring worthy and wealthy, which is like our new six week intensive being the new identity upgrade.

You know, clearly grief and life shapes us.

But being intentional with time and yeah, enjoying the magical moments, right?

And getting out of that like hyper vigilant survival state and truly being in like this flowing feminine, finally founded in my 40s, you know, way of being, which is much freer and much lighter and way more joy and inner peace for sure.

It's interesting because I do speak with a lot of women during this show and in my coaching practice and a lot of women who have spent a vast majority or all of their life in survival mode, in fight or flight mode, really embrace that male dominant hardness.

And when they started to embrace the femininity and the softness is when they started to transform into who they really want to be, which is a loving, caring person without the rough edges.

What helped you get to that?

What helped you raise your frequency to start embracing that side of you?

All the work.

All the work.

So noting, I feel like, yeah, knowing just being aware of the, you know, clenching of my jaw, like running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

The, you know, real true, like that masculine energy, you know, which everyone needs, right?

Feminine and masculine energy.

But being a daughter of a marine and an only child and going through the trauma, right, childhood of two divorces and right life and then my own divorce and my dad passing, I mean it just snowballs and then you're like, like shit, I'm next in line, right?

Am I truly operating in this beautiful life, this human bound experiment experience like this, this, right, this spirit, this soul, Is this truly?

Am I, am I in alignment with my true calling and my true purpose, right?

Am I operating in harmony and is this music and am I dancing and flowing or is it noise, right?

I feel like there was a lot of noise and I was almost wanting to earn my worth and I was doing and yeah, that's it, right?

I could have done karaoke on a stage and like had all the confidence in the world, but the other side of the coin was the worth piece and so it's, yeah, it's a quantum leap into a new identity, truly, you know, like I was always there.

But you're right, like it's like this beautiful rock that goes through the rock tumbler and has to be polished, right?

The Edges had to be.

Yeah, yeah.

Like sea glass.

So a lot more softer and.

Yeah, a lot.

In a lot of ways.

And.

And I know that has to also.

I mean, you were always, in my opinion, and that's humble and exterior, but from the times we've spoken and what I do know of you, you've always been a really good mom, but having this gentle softness, I would think has to make you a better mom.

Is that absolute truth.

Yeah.

Like, I have God bumps, right?

Like, I have.

I literally have God bumps everywhere.

It's.

That's like a divine download.

It's truth.

Yeah.

You can't take that one away from me.

I am an extraordinary mom in so many ways.

You know, with our parents, you got to blame them for the good and blame for the bad.

And I show up for these girls present.

Right.

It's kind of cliche, but being present is the best gift we can give them and the validation and the empathy.

Right.

And it's not my life, it's their life.

So whatever they want to do, I just support.

And I think Dr. Shefali.

Right.

Was a huge play in that when I got certified to be a conscious parenting and life coach because you learn that it's a spirit to spirit relationship versus this hierarchical, traditional dictation, which never really worked for me, and it didn't feel good when I witnessed it.

So, yeah, I absolutely.

I love every, every moment.

And I get to drive the girls to their, you know, activities.

I get to listen to their day, I get to help them with the homework.

It's an honor.

So truly, they're like my.

My world and they're thriving and.

And we have many breakdowns and we repair quickly, and that's a beautiful thing.

Right.

Perfectly imperfect.

So giving moms and women in general just like this, this.

This permission slip to take care of themselves and to have overflow for ourselves so we can be the best version for ourselves and for our kids and for others around us.

Our spouses, our colleagues.

Right.

Our business partners.

So that's, I think, the yeast of the bread.

So explain conscious parenting because I know you deal with moms and burnout and overwhelm and helping them find peace.

But explain in a little more detail, not like the whole, you know, book, but for sure, explain what conscious parenting in life coaching really is.

It's awakened.

It's being aware.

It's noticing patterns.

It's an example I could give very quickly is, you know, if the girls aren't listening, I had to go and do deep work and be like why am I being triggered?

Why.

Why is this activating and, like, making me a little bit, you know, angry or frustrated?

And I had to go way back and say, huh?

My parents got divorced and I didn't have a voice when I went back and forth.

And it was.

Right.

Like it was out of my control.

I didn't feel like I was heard or seen.

And so when the girls don't listen, that has nothing to do with me.

That has everything to do with their own beautiful brains.

Learning and journeying and pushing boundaries and finding their way.

And when we can be aware of our own stuff and we can start to heal that side of ourselves and that beautiful inner child.

Right?

It has nothing to do with.

So it's this, again, beautiful.

Spirit to spirit, parallel relationship.

So anything that we do in a life now is very conscious.

It's intentional, right?

This is my North Star.

If my biggest values are deep love and connection with the girls, that's gonna supersede, right?

Gratitude and everything's gonna supersede the.

I don't wanna say the discipline of it, right?

But there's a different way of showing up.

There's a different approach.

There's a different way of being, and it's perfectly imperfect.

No guilt, no shame.

We're all learning and we repair quickly, and that's it.

It's a different way and it's so liberating.

And I really wish I could give that gift.

Truly.

Once you see it and get it, it's magical after that.

And I'm not saying there's.

Right.

Not many breakdowns or I'm not humaning and I have crazy, like, I'm tired and hormonal and all the things.

Right.

Humaning and lifing.

So all that's still there.

It's just.

It's very much more minimal.

It's not as on the front burner as potentially my emotional home and default was before right now.

It's just this different intention, different way of being.

And it's really, really liberating.

I think we by default parent the way we were parented.

And that's not always a good thing.

We haven't stepped into our own experience of energy and feeling and thought or healing to be able to parent in a way that heals our children without them having to go through the trauma and the drama.

You remind me as you're speaking of a story.

Joe Maurer was a famous.

He's a Hall of Fame baseball player.

He used to play for the Twins.

And he tells a story of his childhood where he and his brothers were wrestling around outside, you know, being kids, and his mom yelled at them to get off the grass because they were going to get dirty.

And his dad said to his mom, are we raising boys or are we raising grass?

Like, let them be boys.

And the element to be aware of that.

Are we raising kids to be kids or are we raising kids to be many us?

And there's an element there that I think is very necessary and very helpful, especially in what you're doing.

You also started this.

I love me unconditionally.

And this is your super freak gratitude activation journal.

Explain what this is about.

And by the way, I love the name.

Thank you.

It's so fun.

This is a exercise.

I know Tony Robbins does a good priming exercise.

I was always, you know, with my father, gratitude was a big thing growing up.

Like, he worked at Easterseals special needs, and so, you know, gratitude.

Hey, we're.

We're not in a wheelchair.

We have legs.

We get to walk.

We get to work out, right?

So I knew gratitude, but I never felt or embodied the gratitude to a point of, like, I'm crying because I'm so grateful.

Like, I feel the feelings now of being grateful.

And when we're in that place, there's a shift in frequency.

And so you become your own super freak in an amazing way when you launch into that gratitude.

And so not only am I now in gratitude every morning before I wake up and, like, get out of bed, right?

I, like, literally feel gratitude.

My girls being born, my dad walking me down the aisle, like, all the things, and it doesn't take me long to get there.

I could cry on the spot because I've been doing it for so long now.

It's just human nature.

So when we're in that space, it's amazing.

But then Mark Von Muser, one of my favorite coaches, you know, led us always through on these masterminds, you know, like, now visualize and emotionalize and be, you know, that amazing mom.

And what is she doing?

What is she acting like an act?

Like, like.

And be that what you've.

Like, it's already happening, right?

Your biggest goals and dreams, like, they're already happened.

Gratitude activation going on Amazon, right?

Oprah giving out.

You get a gratitude book.

You get a gratitude book.

Like, I mean, it's just like, you feel and you be that.

That.

That energy, like, it's already happened.

So that's what we're.

You know, we can't see air, we can't see gravity.

What else can't we See, so when you be that you become your own super freak.

And so then there's like a whole freq that I, that I coined, you know, as an acronym that I think is super easy and a good framework that we go into as well.

But it's really.

Yeah, just some biohacks like quick wins, you know of like up in your frequency and getting out of that survival and into that, you know, parasympathetic of the brain, which is the rest and repair.

And that's the creative space.

That's where we make decisions from.

From this energy.

Not the crazy, you know, hyper vigilant, recovering perfectionist over here.

That, that old me.

Yeah.

So.

And it kind of sneaks in at times.

You're like, not that old thing, you know, that old lady's outfit.

I'm like fashion forward.

Let's try on something new and let's keep going in Quantum Leap.

So very excited about that.

We are in volume two and then it'll launch.

But right now it was like a sloppy copy for my retreat last year with the women.

And we love it.

I think they loved it.

And yeah, it's a cool exercise and everyone should be.

They not should be.

They will feel the difference when they continue.

And it's a guided.

It's a guided.

Yeah.

Gratitude journal.

I wish people could really understand that our brain's job is to make us right.

So it doesn't matter if you're being negative with yourself or.

Or positive with yourself.

Its job is to make you right.

So if your self talk is negative, your life is going to be negative because your brain's helping you out.

It thinks it's doing you a favor.

And if you're self talking, it's finding data.

Yeah.

And it's finding data for that yet.

But if we shift, it's pointing out ways to say, look, you're correct, you're correct.

But if you're looking for a positive life, it will find ways.

And.

And gratitude is the biggest way.

You know, when I'm having a bad day and I'm angry and I'm like, er, my wife will send me outside and say just go name five things that you see, smell or hear and something that you're grateful for.

And within five minutes I can no longer be mad because our brain can't hold both in our.

In our head at the same time.

They can't hold the anger and the despair with the positive and the gratitude.

Your brain can't function that way.

As powerful as we are, it can't hold both Thoughts.

So what are you going to focus most on?

The gratitude or the lack?

And what are you going to get more, the gratitude or the lack?

Because that's what your brain is designed to do.

And I love that you work with people on not just platitude, but frequency and vibration and neuroscience of all of it.

Because our brain runs 95% on autopilot and whatever has.

And a lot of that 95% hasn't even been programmed by us.

It's been given to us by parents and the worldview and friends and other family.

And so a vast majority of our own thoughts aren't even our thoughts unless we consciously replace them and rewire them to make them ours.

So I really love that you have, have done this.

You know, I don't care if it's in iteration one or iteration 20, when people come, you know, back to listen to this, it's a definite part of life that is going to take them to another level.

And I'm really thrilled that you not only do.

Look, I've.

I've railed against positive toxic people for a long time because those are dangerous people who just tell everything, you know, everything's going to be sunshine and rainbows.

No, you can be positive without being unicorn finders.

You can know that there's a problem, but there's also a solution.

If you look for it and work for it long enough now, it may not be instantaneous, it might take a while, but it's there.

And that kind of positivity is vastly different than the.

Oh, everything's sunshine and rainbows.

Yeah.

And doing this work just to like frosting on the cake.

I mean, you're basically training for those future events and it's going to be that much easier to flow through those, you know, whether it's sadness or grief, but we can still find that gratitude and that, that, that more or less peace right through.

Through it all.

So it's massive.

It's.

It's so important.

We don't just do the work when we're going through it.

It's like a constant.

It's just a new way of living, really.

Yeah, yeah.

A healing experience to find joy.

And gratitude is never a destination.

It's always a process.

And as one level of your shit.

And I'll say it, you spelled it.

I'll say it.

But as one level gets released and removed, another is allowed to come up because we've pushed so much of it down that there's always a piece that may not be as big as the last piece.

But there's always something that we're healing or working on to get to continuous leveling up.

And when you continuously use gratitude and positive vibration and neuroscience to get there, it makes the work a whole lot easier.

But you're never going to arrive to a spot where you go, I'm fully healed.

Well, you're better than you were before.

There's still always a journey, right?

Absolutely.

Yep.

Even with new partners.

Right.

New friends, new partners.

We're all just, yeah, we're doing the best we can, but sometimes things boil up and you're like, ooh, I have some work to do still there, you know?

Yeah, it's very humbling.

My wife and I are huge into self development and energy and healing and we both have come a long ways in the 11 years that we've been together.

But even just two nights ago when we had an argument, I was saying exactly like you did.

Oh, damn it.

I thought I was further along on that piece.

I'm not.

I still have to go back and work on it.

And, and it's kind of like, it's kind of like a body massage or a chiropractic session.

Like you can go in and you get tuned up, but that doesn't mean life doesn't happen to make.

You have to go get retuned up.

Right.

We change the oil in our car every 5,000 miles.

Not because, you know, the dealer tells us, but it keeps the engine running better.

So we have to do these tune ups on ourself to keep the engine running better.

Yeah.

And, and I feel like you're again hitting the nail on the head.

Right.

And as you consistently do it, consistency is key and it just becomes your new emotional home.

Right.

So for all the women and the moms and to like, you know, go back in time and say, hey, I know you were born at this address, but you can change and move at any point in time, you know, and you can lay down a new foundation and you can build your own mansion.

Right.

Of your life.

And you have the doors here and the windows here and, you know, it's just that much more empowering, you know, So I love all of me.

Right.

There's little things in there where you're like, oh, I know where that comes from.

And you're just like not judging it.

Right.

Scooping it up and just bringing it in and saying, I love you.

Thank you for teaching me.

Right.

And, and we, and we move forward.

So it's, it's the conscious parenting thing.

To me, the biggest takeaway was we have a lot of guilt and shame that we were born with, I think.

So that's my book that I'm actually working on.

I have a big philosophy in there and kind of a mini memoir.

And it's very.

Yeah, it's very much around.

No more guilt and shame.

Like self, self love.

Right.

Forgive quickly ourselves, not even others like ourselves.

Right.

So we can move on and be empowered.

So that's the thriving state.

That's the beautiful quantum leap and shift.

And when we can make decisions from that state and not beating ourselves up all the time and just, you know, it's a totally different game.

And you don't judge yourself, then you don't judge others.

And everyone's just like curious and compassionate and like, oh, that's interesting.

Fascinating, right?

It's all just fascinating.

Which I got from Tony.

I mean, it's just the best word.

And he doesn't get crazy, he gets peeved.

Like I'm a little peeved.

Right.

But we're not going to go crazy because it's like, what does that do to my body?

And I learned that when we get crazy flooded and we get angry, it takes our bodies like 13 hours to come down from that.

So women now, at my age, 45, I'll be in August.

Right.

Like perimenopausal things, that's like the whole buzz.

I knew menopause, but I had no clue perimenopause even existed.

Like, none.

I just knew menopause because my mother was always like men on pause.

And so it was really funny.

But like the perimenopausal, like, we can't, we.

I can't afford to be like long term angry or having a crazy outburst.

Like my body cortisol spikes and then, you know, it takes a while to come down.

So when you learn that, you're like, oof, let me take a step back.

Let me, you know, take a breath.

Five.

You know, five, four, three, two, one.

Or breathe in four, hold through, hold for seven and breathe out for eight.

And that gets your body quickly into a regulated state.

And so, you know, we have a lot of strategy, a lot of tactics, but at the end of the day, it's just a.

It's just being.

You're almost like floating, flowing through.

Yeah, it's just, it's much, it's.

It's the inner peace.

It's the inner peace amongst the external chaos.

Right.

The calm amongst this continuous storm of life.

Yeah.

It's interesting because one of the show hosts on Prospera TV network that I'm a part of.

Her whole show is about.

It's entitled.

It's all about the pause.

And she talks in depth about this pre menopausal and menopausal system.

And there's so much misinformation and so many things nobody knows or understands.

It's really a fascinating thing that you're going through through.

And speaking of pauses, I'm going to take one right here.

We're going to jump out real quick for a commercial break.

We'll jump back in and dive deeper with Courtney.

We'll be right back.

Let your voice be loud.

Be of beauty where the fire, delight and power unstoppable ready to ignite.

Grab your shades.

It's time for the glow.

Confidence in color.

Let the whole world know.

Besitos beauty because it's your time to shine.

For more information, visit www.besitosbeauty.com.

so welcome back to the show.

We're with Courtney Ko today and we're talking about life and growing and gratitude and, Courtney, you touched on it briefly.

I want to touch on it now.

You do these retreats, and if you can see the joy on your face here and stuff, you can see, you know, the beautiful setting.

What, what is the essence of this retreat and what do the people who attend it get from it at the end?

Oh, what a great question.

Well, one, this is like, my heart gets so full because it's like women.

It's, you know, deep, quality conversations.

It's just yummy and juicy and all the things.

And women come in actually just to maybe take a second for themselves, right?

Have a long weekend of no distractions, and they come in for maybe one thing, but they leave with something completely different.

One of the ladies, you know, going through a divorce just had so much anger and hatred towards her, you know, partner at the time.

And when she, like, had a.

We had our closing ceremony and I asked that question, like, what are y' all taking away?

And she just was like, kourt, I can't thank you enough.

Like, I didn't almost come this weekend, but I have found such inner peace and, like, love for my spouse, you know, and like, soon to be ex partner that I just, It's.

It's so liberating.

And so for her to make that shift, that, like, astronomical transformation in just a few short days of immersion, that's.

That's the magic.

So.

And how often do you run those?

For now, I got like, God, bumps again.

Like, oh, do I need to be doing more?

Yes, once a year.

I Just got a crazy God bumps again.

Yeah, once a year.

So this year we have mother daughter.

We've added a mother daughter retreat onto the radar.

September 16th is my mom's birthday.

So 16th to the 20th in.

In Lexington it is the fire horse.

Right.

Year of the fire Horse.

Why not do another one in the horse capital of the world?

And then the next following weekend, September 23rd to the 27th is a luxury women's wellness retreat.

So it'll be very similar, but one's very focused on the mother daughter bond.

My mom and I will clearly go through our own crazy breakdowns and patterns that we uncovered to be able to bust through that glass ceiling and finally be like super extraordinary to a point where she cries of gratitude because she's waited a very long time to get here with me.

You know, I was a bit stubborn in my past life, so.

Well, here we are.

And now we have the rest of, yeah, the earth in this time, like you know, cherishing our relationship that we've always both wanted.

But we were coming at it from different angles.

We both felt abandoned.

And then when we actually like got to the undertow, we were like, oh, that's the pattern.

And so now we can uncover the pattern quickly.

And I'm like, ah, mom, that old 80s outfit, right?

And then we both laugh.

And so we have.

But we have like, you know, we still go default sometimes to those patterns, but we're aware and conscious of it now and it's game changing.

And it's magical and it's everything.

Deep love and connection.

The quality of your relationships is truly the quality of your life.

I think that's so vital to.

It doesn't matter how long the rift has been there to be able to repair it.

No matter how much time is left in one's life to experience the bond of the mother, daughter, mother, son, father, son, whatever.

The parental child relationship is something that I think most people crave.

No matter how old we are, as long as our parents are still alive.

My wife's parents have passed away now for 20 years and 12 years and she still craves.

If I could only have one more moment.

If I could have one more moment.

So it doesn't matter how old we get, we still want that relationship with our parents.

And when it's broken like mine was with my mom, she passed.

And both my sister and I were not really sad because we had lost her a long time ago and it never got repaired, you know.

Yes, we were communicative.

And yes, she said she loved us and yes, we knew all that, but it wasn't repaired.

It had a little bandaid on it.

And I think when we can repair any relationship, but especially with our parents, it becomes life changing because it's where we can bring that joy.

And you have spoken of your children.

So here they are.

You know, you, through your own healing, are changing their future and your healing with your mother is changing their future because now they have a different relationship with their grandmother.

So kudos to you for, you know, growing in that.

In that vein.

So I didn't mean to hijack the interview, but.

Yeah, no, the ending generational trauma, right?

In the cycles, I mean, we have.

We have a choice to cut that link and create a new one at any time.

And yeah, there were some behaviors that didn't work for me.

And it's just about getting real and authentic and vulnerable with what my extraordinary looks like and what her extraordinary looked like and then finding a bridge.

Right.

It's like your life partner.

We're on two different islands, but let's create a bridge and connect and you know, and have empathy and compassion through it all.

I'm curious because I have interviewed you a couple times and I have witnessed you on whatever you do share on your social media platforms.

That'll allows a little peek into your life.

And the other two interviews, you were still in the midst of recovering from your trauma, but you were still doing the work to help heal others.

So I'm curious what element that you were teaching or using that you finally embraced that gave you the position to go where you are today?

Because you are different than the first two interviews.

So what sparked your aha moment to embrace what you were helping others with all along anyway?

Gosh, there's so many things in there.

I would say vulnerability, like truly softening and being vulnerable.

And you know, I vibe high.

So when I get sad, I don't want to be sad and I don't want to stay there.

So it's like you almost choose anger because it's the bodyguard for sadness.

So I think embodiment, like feeling it in my body, being more in tune with myself, giving myself self permission, you know, eating my own medicine, taking care of myself, doing the yoga, practicing my yoga.

There's so much you learn on a yoga mat, right?

Like I remember one of my teachers said, court, you're not weak, you're just stuck.

And I was like the shoulder position and doing dolphin and I was like, man, I'm not strong.

You Know, meanwhile, I was strong.

I just was weak in this area and needed a little, you know, tlc.

And then I'd be unstuck.

And I'm like, gosh, that's my life.

Like, I'm not weak.

I'm just stuck.

And so I think that embodiment truly, like, feeling where is it in my body.

Somatic energy and release work, vulnerability, being authentic, not giving an F anymore about, like, really what everybody else thinks.

And that's.

That's from a very loving, respectful place, right?

I love everyone.

I think everyone shares and has something unique to offer.

But with 8 billion people in the world, you just can't win them all, you know, and to finally let that go, and that was like 40 and eff it.

That was huge.

That was a huge, huge release for me.

We went to.

We went to a nude beach and in Oliver Beach, Miami.

Supposedly it's like one of the best nude beaches in the entire country or entire world.

But my best friend and I went because I was like, this is gonna be so uncomfortable, you know, but we didn't care.

And it was like, 40 and eff it.

And so I think that just taking that mantra on.

And so women that have found this in their 30s, and I'm like, you already have that because they share with me.

I'm like, you are so equipped, right?

Like, you're saving yourself an entire decade.

Cause I had to go through a shitstorm because I was still like, people pleasing and a recovering perfectionist, or I was a perfectionist at the time.

So I would say vulnerability, like, not taking ourselves so seriously, right?

Releasing the shame and guilt, forgiveness for ourselves.

It's living in our values, right?

Forgiveness, integrity, unconditional love, respect, gratitude.

And just being that.

Like, that's my identity.

Sure, I'm a mom, sure.

I'm an entrepreneur, right?

Sure, I'm an author.

I'm a beautiful wife, you know, future wife now.

I mean, I'm ecstatic for all those things, but my true identity now is like, those values and walking and breathing those values.

That's my identity.

And no one can take that away from me.

It's a beautiful journey that you've experienced.

And I'm really.

And you've expressed some of these moments, these.

These eff it moments.

And it's interesting that the older we get, the more we get to those moments.

Like, if we could just get to those moments in our 20s, it'd save 40 years to get to them later.

Because not caring about what other people think, not doing it arrogantly, but not identifying with their opinion of you because you know your own truth.

There's a difference.

But in.

Cause I know the work you were doing.

I know the people you were helping and the benefit they were getting, but it seemed from an outside that you hadn't fully embraced what you were teaching internally.

So was there a specific aha moment where you said, I'm not doing my own stuff?

Like, I know this, but I'm not doing this?

Was it on that yoga mat?

Was it on that nude beach?

Like, where was this aha moment where you're like, well, I'm not doing what I know to do, but I need to.

Was there a point in time that you can pinpoint?

Yeah.

I mean, I have a woman's brain, so it's like, bing, bing, bing.

Right.

It's like the electricity ball.

So I was like, oh, my gosh.

Which one should I prioritize?

Yes, one.

The conversation with my father before he passed.

Right.

The unconditional love.

Like, truly, I knew I loved myself, but I didn't embody it.

Like, I didn't.

I wasn't actually loving my full self, I don't think, because I wasn't making decisions that would, I don't know, love myself fully.

I still had guilt and shame.

I judged myself.

It wasn't until I chatted with my father, and that's why he was suicidal his whole life, off and on.

He didn't love himself because he didn't know how.

So he went looking externally for validation.

Right.

So, like that, peeling the onion back through Covid and having those deep conversations.

Yeah, it was hard, and it was, like, you know, tragic and.

But I swear, I feel like he had.

Like, we had freed our.

Freed our souls before he passed.

Right.

Like, I just, like, launched into a whole nother version of me after that conversation.

I was so thankful.

As grieving and as.

As sad as it was, I am still so thankful and so grateful for that conversation because otherwise I wouldn't probably be here with you, you know?

So, yeah, there's many.

There's.

There's multiple of those very quality conversations, you know, or something.

Finally just hit, like, a popcorn moment.

And Whitney Houston's best song, like, the Greatest Love of All.

And I knew all the words, and I could sing it in karaoke.

Right.

And then it wasn't until I actually felt it, like, learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.

And I just remember, like, falling to my knees and bawling and just being like, I'm so sorry forever not loving myself fully.

Yeah.

I love that.

And it's an awareness.

It's.

It's a.

It's an embodiment.

So how soon after you embraced yourself and started releasing the shame and reframing it?

Because shame doesn't.

Shame shouldn't be.

It doesn't belong to us.

We feel the shame for a lot of times.

I don't want to paint with a big brush, but I am.

External reasons are causing the shame we feel when we really shouldn't take on that label and that feeling.

So when you released that and you started this new rebirth of Courtney, how soon after that till you met this partner who is now bringing your life even more joy?

Because now I don't think we can find the right partner if we still hate ourselves and aren't loving ourselves.

We can find partners, we can find people.

But the right partner and the right person, I think we have to start that journey inside with loving ourselves.

So how.

How long before that showed up in your life?

Two years.

Right.

I mean, I grieved.

I'm an only child, so I grieved a while after my father passed.

That was rough.

That was rough.

Like you remember, but I just remember vibing high.

Like, I had no interest at all.

Like, I was like, on a mission.

I'm like, I'm so.

I'm going to impact women.

I've got my course I'm launching.

I had a dinner that fell through, like an investment dinner.

Then I went to my favorite place in Lex.

That second place.

Nobody, like, waited on me in my favorite chair for like 10 minutes.

I'm, like, not taking it personally.

I'm going to go somewhere else.

And then that's the night I met him.

And I just was literally my own vibe, my own frequency.

I had like, you know, girls went to their dads and I just had the space to just come down, you know, and be in the frequency, truly, because he just remembers walking through.

And he's never stopped at this, like, Bella Cafe.

He works miles from downtown, so he just goes right home.

But he's like, I had to go to the bathroom so so bad that, like, everyone's like, gotta stop at Bella Cafe.

Like, Divine Download.

And so then I. I was right there.

But anyway, you know, I was to say, you're absolutely correct.

Like, we have to shed the.

And take off even the masks and be just me.

Like, this is me.

And that night, I remember my father and I have, like, fireball cinnamon is our thing.

Because he would suck the fireball candies and have the little tiny nucleus on the Inside for me when I was, like, five.

So that's our, like, specific word.

And I look up from a split second because I'm working away on my.

My.

My laptop at the.

At the.

The Bella Cafe.

And I look up and I see Johnny's Fireball number eight.

And it's this horse.

And everything in my, like, everything was like, put everything in your Twin Spires app on this horse.

It's gonna win.

And that would have been, like, $2,500.

So I was like, we'll do 200 to win and 200 to win place show.

And I'm on this chair, like, in this, you know, place, and everyone else is chilling.

I'm like, yeah, let's go.

So I just was, like, vibing high, right?

I was in the moment.

I was feeling good.

I was working on myself.

I.

You know, I'm working out.

Yeah, I just was in a really different place because I had shed all that emotionally, spiritually.

I had a connection with God.

I mean, I just remember being like, I am trusting, and I am like, all.

I'm just your vehicle.

I, like, I am connected.

I'm your vehicle.

And that's it.

Like, faith over fear all day, and that's it.

It's like a different energy.

And I.

And I really believe that when we.

Because as humans, we try to do for ourselves and as spiritual beings with our creator or God or whatever people want to label it with, we want the divine intervention, and we want the guidance, and we want the help, but we want to keep our hand on the wheel.

We want to keep steering.

You know, it's when we fully surrender and fully, fully release that this magic happens.

And I was reading something about Noah's ark that I had never read before.

And when people who are familiar with the Bible know that God laid out every detail of that ark.

The size of the wood, the kind of wood, the dimensions of the space, everything about it, the timing of when the.

When the rain would.

Everything was laid out.

But what was interesting and what I had never heard was that God never put a rudder, a way to steer, or a ballast sail on the ark.

So Noah was to build it, and God was to steer it.

And I had never heard that element of the story before, and it so resonates with life for me.

When we fully surrender, that's when the good things really come about.

So did your now partner approach you, or did you catch him out of the corner of your eye and approach him because you were into the horse race?

Oh, well, that horse race had ended, and I'm back to, like, you know, launching my mini course in Kajabi.

And he just, like, was a human tornado.

Like, just came in and walked right by me.

And he just was like, those are the best earrings in this whole place.

And he kept going.

I was like, thanks, you know, and I, like, went back to working.

But then he, I guess, came back around 30 minutes later because he was telling a friend that he ran into, like, I gotta go talk to that earring lady.

And.

Yeah, so then he sat down.

You know, of course, a guy from California, he's in real estate.

I've been in real estate.

And there were so many interesting, cool things that.

Yeah, it was.

I. I actually had zero.

Still, at that point in time, like, any intention of anything, I'm like, this is my new best friend.

I finally have a cool dude who's, like, super smart, and, like, we're going to do things together, like work.

And then it just morphed into, you know, here we are in a beautiful blended family.

And, yeah, he's a.

He's a true king.

That's for sure.

And now those earrings are in a frame somewhere.

They are.

He did.

He took one and he put it in a little window box.

I would have.

And I sure would put the date in there and everything.

And I'm like, hey, those were my favorite.

He's like, I'll buy you another pair.

Yeah, I would have done the same exact thing.

That's.

Yep.

Yeah.

You guys would get along great.

Yeah, I love that.

So now you're a little more healed.

So we'll take the healing element out of this question.

Who's the Courtney of today versus the Courtney of three years ago?

Levitating.

Like, levitating.

All I want to do is give back.

Like, focus on everyone else, you know, like, when you meet someone and you're like, oh, gosh, how do I look?

Like, I don't.

It doesn't even matter anymore.

It's like, oh, I know their name.

And then I remember their name, and they're like, wait, how'd you remember my name?

And it's just you're so present with everybody else.

I think Jim Fallon, Jimmy Fallon does such a good job about that.

And so I think just.

I am like, how do we leave a bigger legacy?

Right?

I think I was way playing small, Darryl.

Like, that.

Those words hit me.

My coach was like, court, you've been playing way too small.

And I'm like, I know.

So hiding behind the grief, right?

Hiding just because you don't.

It's almost like, I don't.

My bestest and bestest of friends.

Like, I don't want to leave any woman behind.

I was married, military.

Like, we don't leave a man behind.

We don't leave a woman behind.

And so when you, when you grow.

But then I'm like, wait, what if I take them all with me, right?

So.

And that's their journey.

And I'm like, yeah, just bigger and better.

Bigger, like big, biggest, bigger and better.

That's all I can say.

It's like, go big or go home.

I, I knew that phrase.

I, I have a Great Dane, but I wasn't embodying that.

I wasn't embodying that.

It sounded great.

It was cliche.

And I'm like, I got that textually, intellectually, but now it's in my heart, like, go big or go home.

It's like an, it's an embodiment that feels, that's, that's real.

And so not many people have done my show twice, let alone three times.

Hat trick and hat trick.

And you, you asked to come back on.

So what message do you want to impart to make sure that people hear from Courtney?

Yeah, I want to save women decades of pain, right?

I want, it's like nine to thrive.

I want them to jump in with me to our now six week, right?

Worthy and wealthy intensive.

And it's fun intensive.

We can have fun and we can flow through some of the hard work, but it is so critically mission important for our life, for our kids, life, for our spouse's life, for us to woman up, level up, right?

And jump into our full potential.

But we gotta shed some of the shit and sometimes you don't realize what it is or where it comes from.

And so I am so excited to help women and save them decades and decades of pain so they can live in overflow.

Because you deserve to be right.

You deserve worth.

We are deserving of, worthy and wealthy in all aspects of our life.

Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, in our bank accounts.

When we make more, we can give more back.

So whatever money myth y' all had, right, like out the window, when you make more, you can give more.

And that's it.

And it, it's not everything, but it solves a lot of problems.

And everyone deserves abundance.

And we can dance through, right?

Abundance.

We can dance through it doesn't have to be so hard.

I love that abundance.

And I get these downloads too.

And I see that right now you're, you're in the the women's cycle, because you're embracing your feet femininity more and you're still putting on that new coat to wear.

But by late 20, 27, 28, you'll also turn it into couples or also men inclusive.

Because it's a part of the dance that all sides need.

The vulnerability, the embracement, the shedding of our shit to make the unity better.

And we don't.

This is the thing.

We don't need another person.

We should desire another person.

Because life isn't meant to walk alone.

And no one makes us whole.

We are to come into it whole and complete with unity of that other strength.

So I see your evolution late 20, 27, 28, to also be men inclusive.

So it is men inclusive locally.

For, like we're doing.

We're doing a TEDx Lex event.

And so, you know, stand by, stay tuned.

That will be coed, you know, because, you know, this guy, we're like, we're.

We're pretty.

We're good.

We're a good power couple.

Like, that's not bragging, but that's just like, we're up to big things and we want to, you know, help as many people get there as fast as possible.

And if we can share our wealth and do it together, then yes.

But of course, women, you know, selfishly, I love.

And we need more of that.

And I was such a tomboy for so long, Darrell, that like to jump into my femininity now.

I haven't.

I haven't soaked all that up yet.

All that juicy woman feminine.

You know, the women at the.

Well, well, I imagine the.

For a tomboy and someone who is where you are, I imagine that that nude beach was quite a.

But very freeing in not just, you know, physical, but mental and emotional as well.

So I'm sure that played a huge part in your.

In your growth.

So I'm gonna ask you.

And doing.

Uncomfortable.

Yeah, it was like.

It was.

It was getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Yeah.

Because that's life.

And that is life.

And that's where we.

That's expansion.

Right.

That's where our growth occurs, is on the other side of our comfort zone.

So what do you want your legacy to be?

Women knowing they're worthy without having to be or do anything.

You know, like you're 100%, perfectly whole and complete right here, right now, as is.

And whatever we want, we can go get it.

And it's, you know, it's a hard truth that we're standing in our own way.

Right.

And it's just a Matter of how fast you want to get there.

So my legacy is of course, unconditional love and ensuring that my girls, our girls, are so equipped with worth and values.

Right.

That they're this beautiful oak tree grounded with their roots and they may sway a little in a storm because we're human, but we're not going to fall over because we know who we are.

That's awesome.

And I'm curious.

The last question, and I've asked it to you twice, it's been two different answers and I'm hoping it's a different answer now.

What's a warrior spirit mean to Courtney today?

Love and light.

Love and light.

Peaceful warrior.

It's funny, I did yoga forever and you have Warrior 2 and then you go back and you know there's peaceful warrior and you're so open with your heart that it's just.

It's literally love and light.

Unconditional love.

No judgment, right?

We're humans.

Humaning.

However, there's this beautiful soul and it's all just love.

Because every near death experience that I've heard that the books you read that people don't even know that there's a near death experience, right.

That could happen.

It's all just this overwhelming nothingness of love.

Right?

So if that's it and if that's what everyone says is afterwards, why not be that now and embrace that?

Right?

So the.

The love is the power versus.

Yeah.

Anything else, that's it.

So simple.

But we just be the love and

light and you externally are exuding that glow.

And I'm so extremely happy for you and I'm really thrilled that you came back on to share this part of your, your journey.

And I wish you nothing but the best.

Best and, you know, many blessings for you and your family for sure.

Thank you.

You as well.

I appreciate you, Darrell.

Thank you for having me again.

All righty.

And if you'd like to get in touch with Courtney, you can do so on our website, Ilove me unconditionally.com and all her social media accounts, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube.

Thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

We're now on all the major platforms as well as on roku via the ProsperityV app and@breakthroughradio.net so be sure to like or subscribe to catch all the episodes.

As always, the journey is sacred.

The warrior is you.

So remember to be inspired, be empowered, and embrace the spirit of the warrior within.

It's not just about the fight.

It's how we rise.

From it.

Sa.