Jaye Kreller and Cat Moleski of Inhabit Real Estate talk about navigating a work life balance while running a business together.

Monique & Piper learn about the basics of 20 plus years in real estate industry.

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Key peaked interest, k p i, entrepreneurial Insight,

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L G B T Q editions. Today's guest, Jay Crawler and her wife,

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Kat Moleski of Inhabit Real Estate in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

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Morning.

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Good morning. Good morning.

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I feel like I should do a full disclosure.

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So Jay was my boss at Lady Slipper Music,

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which was a women's music distribution, uh,

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company in Durham, North Carolina. Yeah, that was another lifetime ago.

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Then another lifetime ago,

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she was a contractor and I worked for her, uh,

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while I was still a musician on the road too. Whenever I came back to town, I,

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I'd worked for Jay. So, full disclosure,

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Jay was a contractor and made so much money doing that

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thought she'd go into real estate, but,

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which I think is an interesting also,

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discussion of switching hats from being a contractor to going

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into real estate.

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Well, ironically, it wasn't about the money Piper, you know,

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I was just getting too old and injured to keep doing what I was doing.

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So I'm like, there's gotta be an easier way to do this.

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And since we had been buying houses and flipping 'em, I'm like,

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maybe I'll just do real estate, so,

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Right.

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It was an old and injured thing, so,

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And Cat worked at Weaver Street Market, and, uh,

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one of her many hats was hiring musicians.

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And that's how I met Katt,

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was I was a musician and she would hire kid sister to come and play.

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Sometimes we were lucky enough, so, so Kat, so you

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Knew Cat before I did. Mm-hmm.

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Yes. Yes, I did. And oh, and so,

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and then Kat became, um, an artist.

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And so lots of hats, lots of hat wearing here was the,

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this thing that I was telling Monique.

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So that's an introduction and now you're both working together.

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You are together and, uh, in real estate.

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And, and I think, you know, sort of counting real estate is,

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is a different sort of business than like, say us we're in a service business,

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but at the same time, you're in a service business too. It's totally

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A service business. Mm-hmm.

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And you don't really work for yourselves, but you do. So

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Explain, totally self-employed. Yep.

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And, and explain a little bit that dynamic,

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because not everybody understands how that real estate, you know,

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thing works as far as like an agent, a broker, a, you know,

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agency or whatever it is that, that you do as a, a realtor.

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The easiest way to understand it is just to remember that all realtors are

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self-employed. You know, we're self-employed.

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We work under the umbrella of a b or a broker in charge,

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so they're not technically our boss, but they kind of are like,

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they're the broker in charge of the firm.

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And you can have 20, 30, 40, 50, 300 agents in a firm.

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So your interaction with your broker may be never none at all,

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but it's still your book of business.

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You're still responsible for your own business and everything else.

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You're just under the umbrella of a B.

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North Carolina has made it much easier for people to be what we call one-offs,

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where they are their own b but they're just one, one firm, like one agent,

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one firm. Me doing things,

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I find it easier to work under somebody else's umbrella. So self-employed,

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but work under the umbrella of someone else.

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And currently you are, uh, do you wanna mention who your,

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who your umbrella is under

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Oh, yeah, no, I'm, I'm happy to mention it.

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Inhabit Real Estate is a local company in Durham and Chapel Hill currently.

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Um, and, uh, so it's a small local firm, not one of the national guys,

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uh, with a really strong community presence, which I'm very, you know,

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happy about.

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So, um, I know that you've been realtor for how long?

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I like a challenge.

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So I launched my license in October of

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2001. Wow. Now,

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what happened in September of 2001, uh, we,

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we launched the business and of course,

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real estate went into a free fall because everything was, um,

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in a little bit of chaos then. So it was a,

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it was a very challenging first year.

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And, and then, um, talk a little bit about,

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and I'm gonna just sort of bring the timeline along, uh,

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the 2008 banking crisis, how did that affect what you did?

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And now talk about too where your relationship with you and

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Kat are as along this timeline. Are you working together then or not? No, no,

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No, no.

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Kat and I have actually only started working together in the last two years.

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So we've, we've had very separate career paths all along. And, uh,

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Kat coming into the business was a little bit more convenience than

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desire, correct me if I'm wrong.

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It was always our backup plan for when Jay's assistant retired.

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We, we knew at some point her assistant was going to retire, and, and I would,

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I was gonna then step in and be the assistant.

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So I got my license six or seven years ago, something like that.

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And I've just sort of been waiting in the wings for the right time

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And enjoying life outside of real estate until she absolutely had to come into

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real estate. Yep.

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Totally makes sense. But so go back to the 2008,

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the banking crisis and kind of what happened with your business then. And, um,

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how did that, how did that impact like home life in, in essence?

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Uh, well, it didn't impact our home life much at all at that time. Uh, you know,

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KA Kat and I weren't working together. It was more of a,

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a stressor for my business. But the reality is,

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is that the triangle market did incredibly well throughout that period

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relative to the rest of the country. We didn't have the giant tanking.

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We did have a drop in property values,

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but we still had people wanting to be here, and we still had people coming here.

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So there was still business to be had.

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You just had to work a little bit harder to get it. And you, and,

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and we've always been really good about planning for the rainy days and keeping

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cash reserves. So there was no like, time or crisis point,

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and there were like, oh my God, we're gonna lose the house,

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or anything like that, you know,

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which is something when you're self-employed and everything is based on your

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ability to produce income and your ability for reasons beyond your control is

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hampered. But, but we, we did okay through it. And like I said,

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the triangle did not, I mean, we weren't fire assailing things. Yeah.

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There were things in foreclosure and, and stuff like that,

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a higher percentage than usual. Um, but this is what I,

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I told my clients who were thinking about selling during the downturn.

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It's like, just wait, just wait. It's going to come back up.

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And most of them did.

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So the only people who really lost money here were the people who panic sold or

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had to sell because they were moving outta market,

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and there weren't that many of those.

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Well, that's good news. You know, we, we also, I mean,

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our business survived that banking, uh, and credit crunch. Uh,

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it was difficult, um, for us just because we wanted to expand at the time,

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and it was, we just couldn't yet, uh,

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credit Yeah. Credit to, to do the things we wanted to. And,

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and that was kind of a weird thing, right?

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You had to get real scrappy about what you wanted to do.

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Did you have the sort of the same thing with the credit crunch and trying to get

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scrappy?

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So what happened to us mostly was that we couldn't buy anything.

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So in addition to like selling real estate, we invest in real estate.

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So we would pick up rental properties from time to time, things like that. Um,

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but because my income was down and I already had X

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number of mortgages and they tightened up all the regulations,

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my ability to invest in real estate basically got hamstrung.

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So it's like the, the bank wouldn't give me any more mortgages,

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even though everything was paid and, you know, everything was current.

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They were just like, Nope, we're not taking any more risks on these things.

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So it stopped a certain momentum we had for acquiring properties

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and building wealth. It just, you know, kind of, kind of nipped that in the bud.

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I, I hope that we can go into this area where about, oh, wealth.

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So there are certain levels of women-owned businesses,

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right? And so, like a massive percentage,

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like 70 something odd percent don't, uh,

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exceed $50,000 a year. I know you make more than that.

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Um, then, then there's another level where it's about, um,

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250, uh, and below there's like, I don't know,

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maybe 3%, 3% that make about that much.

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And then 3% exceed even higher than that,

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between two 50 and a million.

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And my guess is you're over the two 50 as far as just raw income.

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Gross. Yeah. So you're

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Gross. Yeah, except for, except for a couple of years, a couple of, you know,

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you always have a challenging year or a down year.

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We've had a few years where we haven't broken the $250,000 threshold, uh,

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but by and large, we routinely break that. Um,

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we don't get much higher than that though. Like, because there's a, there's a,

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to, to give the level of customer service we need to give,

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there's a finite amount of business you can actually do.

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And there are other ways that we could do it.

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We could bring in help and we could do more things. And, and,

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and that's what most agents do. They, they, yeah. They, they pyramid it out. It,

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it is just not been my choice. I, I like the level I work at, and I like

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the expertise I bring to the table. And you can't just farm that out.

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Yeah. It's totally, so, so what happens is the, the, the core, you know,

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value of your business becomes what's in your head, your experience,

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everything you bring to the table, af after, you know,

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I happen to know this about you, that you come from a family of, of, uh,

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people that are capable of swinging a hammer, which I am not.

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I come quite honestly. Yeah. Yeah.

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And so, you know, you,

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you've had this whole life experience through your family and then your own

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experience as a licensed contractor. And now you're, you know,

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not only are you a realtor, I know you actually, uh,

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have a broker's license, right?

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Yeah. But that's not, it used to be special,

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but that's not special anymore because in North Carolina,

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you have to be a broker to sell real estate.

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So everybody has a broker's license. Ah,

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So

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When I started, when I started, there were salesmen and then there were brokers.

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I see. And if you wanted the, the higher degree of license,

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you had a broker's license. I, I,

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I still think we should probably still have that.

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We should have salespeople and we should have brokers,

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and they should not be the same.

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But North Carolina decided to do it differently. Everybody's a broker. Um,

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but now they've demanded, okay, everybody's a broker,

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but now they're brokers and brokers in charges,

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and the brokers in charges are now the old brokers.

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And so it's a lot of language stuff that just confuses people more

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Like me.

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Right. But yes. So back, way back when, when there were salespeople and brokers,

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yes. I was always a broker. Again,

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I had my broker's license because if I bought a property,

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I wanted to be able to buy and sell my, the properties I was flipping. Ah,

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Right. Okay. So, so what happens is, right, yeah. You become this,

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you know, this rare small percentage,

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just like 3% of women owned businesses actually break that, you know,

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just over two 50, right? Around two 50. So congratulations on that.

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That is a, you know, 3%, right? That's not a very big,

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and you probably know,

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Didn't know that. Didn't know that. Feeling really proud of myself. Now

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I know, right? It's a big deal. It is a very big deal. And so, um,

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also, I also, like in our business, you know, the core,

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you know, we share responsibilities. I'm sure, you know, you guys do too.

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But ultimately, there's like this technology in my head that if I go away,

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it's hard to replace. Right?

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Right, right. There,

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there are parts of your job that you just can't sub out to someone, you know?

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And there are parts of my job that I can't sub out to someone. It is not,

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I will say, like, if,

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if I did it in a different model where I brought in buyer's agents and I gave

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them my, because it's the buyers. They take up so much time. You can,

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you can have an, an unlimited number of listings, because once you,

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once you get an input, it's, it's front loaded time, but then it just,

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it's on the market. And then it sells, dah, dah, dah, dah.

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Buyers are one-on-one out in the field.

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Our dragging things, you can only work with so many buyers at a time.

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So the standard model is an agent comes in, they handle all their own listings,

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but then they have buyer's agents who take the buyers out. So you, you know,

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they're, you're working,

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the agents are sharing their commission because they're getting the leads from

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the, from the main, the breadwinner or the, what is it,

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the what? Rainmaker. They're getting the leads from the rainmaker. Um,

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and then going out and, and helping them buy houses.

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That's not a model that I've been comfortable with.

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It's not something I wanna do. And so I still do all my own buyers firsthand.

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Well, that, that's amazing. Uh, you know, it's, it is hard because, you know,

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should you have to take some time away and,

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and I'm sure that's where Kat's main job comes in to help bridge

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those pieces. Right. You know, uh, talk a little bit about, you know,

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Kat, what it's like to have that, you know,

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that relationship where you're the second at work,

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and then sort of what happens at home.

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Well, let's see. I feel like, um, all my jobs and all my life,

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I've been always, um, an assistant to a boss or second to a boss, if you will.

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And I'm really good at that. I feel like I'm, I'm a good second.

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I'm a good sweeper. I'm a good cleanup person.

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I can follow along with the details. And I've made my peace with that,

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if you will.

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So I feel like I am suited to the position that I am in with, with Jay.

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And as far as home life, I don't think, I mean, it's not like, I mean,

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Jay's gonna say something different,

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but I don't feel like we have much of a hierarchy in our home.

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I don't feel like I'm the second and she's the first, or I'm the first.

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And she's just like that. That's not really how we do the home life.

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It's totally different.

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You see, and I see the home life as its cat's world, and we just live in it. So

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I I get it. I get it. I mean, part of it is, it's like, um, you know,

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the the idea that, you know, you share duties of you're,

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you're sharing your life. And I get that, you know,

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there's this dynamic even before, and what's interesting about y'all is that,

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that, um, you didn't start the business together. And I,

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I'm finding, I've done some, uh, you know, preliminary interviews of, uh,

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couples in business and how they, they, they worked.

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And when I noticed one is at about the seven year mark,

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they stopped working together. Now we're different.

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We've been in at it for 20 years. Right. Um,

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so that's an interesting thing. And, um,

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the other thing I noticed is, um, there's no formal,

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that's our 15 minute mark. There's no formal,

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um, business discussion

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in the business. Now, you guys are a little bit different, meaning that,

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you know, I don't, we sit down and think about our own personal goals,

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but, uh,

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Having a formal meeting is what you're talking about. Like, because you're, um,

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available 24 7, pretty much, it's like, I, I,

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I would imagine you end up discussing business, there is no,

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you don't have necessarily a formal meeting. But

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Actually that's

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Not true. That's not how we do it. That's not how we do

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It. No. We refrain from talking about business most of the time.

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And we have what we call, uh, you know,

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folder meetings in the morning where I bring all the folders,

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we go through the folders, you know, at least weekly and get everything,

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all the tasks organized and set up. And then after that, you know,

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we might touch base throughout the day, but after five o'clock, no,

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it's not happening

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Now. I, I don't

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Go ahead. I

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Don't stop working at five o'clock. The cat does, does, like,

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that's part of the deal. Like, you know, she, she's my assistant.

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She is not the, the rainmaker, so to speak. I have to keep the business going.

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So yeah, I'll keep working. I'll answer texts, I'll do emails, things like that.

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I'm showing properties at seven o'clock at night often. Um, you know,

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we have no social life because my schedule is dependent

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on when my buyers can see properties so that when can they see

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properties, they can see properties in the evenings and on the weekends.

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'cause they have day jobs. So, but that's,

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that's that necessarily more my problem than cats. So, um,

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but again, it's, it's being in a job that has a schedule that's a little

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challenging, but she was used to the schedule for the last 20 some odd years.

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So getting used to that schedule isn't different. It's just in the daytime.

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We have more time together now. Mm-hmm.

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Uh, well that, that's, you know, that's really, uh,

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amazing because what I did find was that most couples weren't having this.

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And since I think the difference being that,

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You mean formality Yeah.

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This formal sort of business discussion. So that's,

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that might be a really big key for you guys going forward because

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you had so many years of having an assistant and having this routine and having

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this meeting that this allows you to continue, um,

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you know, whoever the assistant is and happens to be cat and,

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and you have this capacity to just go ahead and say, well, after five,

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I no longer need your assistance,

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and you get released to whatever it is that you're doing at home. Right.

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But most when you, when

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You have cat

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Does are daytime business hour things.

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They have to happen during business hours. Alright,

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But when and when you guys, when you, you've had,

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you had property together and I thought, you know, what, how were the,

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when you had property together, how were the, uh, jobs divided on that,

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Just based on skillsets really? So, right.

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So I managed, like we did divide up the task.

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Jay was mostly in charge of repairs.

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I was mostly in charge of finding the tenants and collecting the rents and,

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and taking care of the leases kind of thing. So that's how we divided it up.

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And did you have like very defined kind of meetings

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cutoffs for that?

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So that was a little bit easier? Yeah, we haven't had an annual meeting, but it,

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with tenants, you know, you sort of put them in place and if they're good,

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they run on their own. You don't have to have a lot, you know, my, it would be,

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um, they would email me about a problem that I couldn't handle,

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and then I would approach Jay in the morning, you know, uh,

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not at five o'clock at night, which the tenants love to do. Right.

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Five o'clock on a Friday, they have a problem

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Now they've had the problem all week.

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They just decided to tell us about it at five o'clock on Friday. Yeah,

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Right. That, yes. I, I imagine that, that that does

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Happen. And kind of, I mean, I'm just, when I said several hats, katt,

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when you were an artist, you know, did,

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did Jay help you with that endeavor?

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Oh, yes. She helped me a lot in setting up my shows. Like,

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she carried a lot of stuff. She helped me build canvases,

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so she helped me with the physical aspects,

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helped me get set up physically and things like that. So

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That was great. I don't give her very much art advice.

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That's just not a good idea. Yeah,

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I mean, so really you, you've,

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you've been working together for a very long time. I mean,

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I know you're saying it's only been two years,

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but going back to when you started property together,

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I mean, I don't,

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We're a good team. We're a good team. We compli,

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we compliment each other in terms of what we have the patience for and what we

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don't have the patience for. I don't have the patience for tenants.

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So if Kat didn't deal with them, they would all be buried in the crawl spaces.

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So

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You wouldn't have any, is what I'm hearing.

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But also what I like to say today is we both have a high tolerance for work.

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We both like to work, we both, uh, respect work, and we both, um,

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acknowledge that we like to work. So if Jay's working hard at seven o'clock,

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I'm not b******g at her that she shouldn't be home watching TV with me or

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something, you know? And when I'm down in my studio working, Jay's not like,

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geez, why isn't she doing the dishes? You know,

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because we have a high tolerance and a high respect for each other's, uh,

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work ethic.

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So that's interesting. One of the things that, you know,

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I think is really valuable is the idea that you're leaning into your strengths

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and that you have these shared values.

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Now I'm gonna ask you a question opinion wise.

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And then the second part of that is giving advice. So first is,

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um, do you think, um,

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well maybe I'll just ask the question.

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What advice would you give a couple contemplating going

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into business together?

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I think that a couple, if they're going into business together,

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they really need to examine a, how they feel about work in general.

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Do they think work is nine to five and you're done?

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Or do they think work is a 24 7? That's, those are two different values systems,

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I think. And also I think they need to talk about like,

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am I happy taking direction?

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Am I the kind of person that can take direction or am I the person that needs to

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be in charge? Because I think if you have two people in charge, it may not work.

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If you have two people who need direction, that might not work either.

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Like there has to, I feel like there has to be a driving force. Um, and,

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and then they have to have a, a, a unified goal. Like if, if,

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if it's as you are gonna interview later, two musicians,

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is their shared goal going on the road and touring and putting out records and

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writing music and doing all of this stuff?

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Are they into the promotion or is one of them like, whoa,

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I'd like to write music and be behind the scenes, but I'm not gonna be on stage.

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I don't know, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't,

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but you have to be sure that the two together work in harmony,

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that they're pulling in the same direction.

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Jay, what kind of advice would you give

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You? You just, I,

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it is the same advice I give young couples going into relationships.

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You've got to find your sense of humor.

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You have got to learn to laugh at things because if you don't, you're,

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you toast, you are toast. You have gotta be able to laugh things off.

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You've gotta,

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and you also have to really distinguish what's really important and what's just

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important to you, to you. And Katt, and I have been through this a lot.

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It's like there are things in our business that are extremely important.

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These are high risk, high dollar, you know, deals that we're putting together.

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And if you drop a peg, the deal could fall apart. That's,

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that's catastrophic to someone. Like, we'll survive it. If we get, don't,

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if we lose one deal, we'll survive it. But if that person loses that house,

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they may not get another shot at one if something happens.

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So we distinguish, Hey,

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this is important to me because I like my life orderly and I like these things

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to happen. That's important to me. That,

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but we both have to be on the same page when something's important to the,

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to the core of the business. You know,

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because if we start dropping balls in the business, then people say, oh,

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you know, they, they screwed up and the deal didn't go through. You know,

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that's your reputation. That stops further business from coming in,

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that that clogs up the pipeline. So we,

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you distinguish the mistakes you decide which is which of the mistakes are

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important and which of the mistakes are just important to you.

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They're all still mistakes, they all still need to be talked about,

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but you gotta laugh at the ones that are important to you and take seriously the

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ones that are important to the business. Right.

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Develop your sense of humor and then distinguish what is laughable and what

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is serious.

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Well, I think those, those are two good pieces, advice.

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And so one of the things just a little bit longer, bear with us, and that is,

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um, I'm hearing this advice and I know that it's pegged to a story. Um,

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and I would love for you to un unpack the idea of,

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you know,

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in your business you care about who you serve,

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and it, it's important that,

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that these deals, these pegs don't get dropped.

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And it's not a laughable situation. I mean, it, it's okay for you personally,

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but the client is the one that,

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that is could potentially suffer not just a losing a house,

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but something bigger. Talk about that story that you told us about that,

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Um, very close friend of Kat's, uh,

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trying to buy their first house and I was helping them out and they ended up

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needing, they, we, we did find a house that,

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that fit her criteria and fit her budget.

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And it was a little further outta town, but it worked. And, um,

439

the issue was that it was a HUD house.

440

A HUD house requires a special certification on the realtor to have the,

441

the HUD certification.

442

The brokerage has to have a HUD certification to sell a HUD house.

443

Our brokerage didn't have it.

444

The brokerage I was with at the time didn't have it.

445

So I could not represent her moving forward.

446

So I located a local HUD certified agent.

447

I put her in touch with that agent and let them

448

do the deal.

449

Okay. So that's, that,

450

that relinquished you from the contract that you originally had with that

451

particular client. Is that correct?

452

Well, it's a, that's kind of funny that you say that.

453

I don't actually typically have contracts with my clients. I always say, look,

454

in the buying process, we're just dating now while we date,

455

I wanna date exclusively. In other words,

456

I don't want you calling other agents to show you houses because I don't wanna,

457

you know, spend weeks educating you, getting you ready, finding the right house.

458

But the house comes up while I'm out with another client and you just call the

459

next, you know, jack in the box realtor,

460

and once you've seen the house with them, they're your agent. So it's like,

461

while we're dating, we date exclusively,

462

but when you're ready to write an offer,

463

I have to have that contract because legally that severs me from any

464

responsibility to the seller and binds me to the buyer.

465

So we have to have it then. But at that point, we had just been dating,

466

so there was no quote unquote contract to let her out of. It was just a,

467

this is the best course forward for you. This is the right house for you.

468

I can't help you with it. Here's someone who can. And,

469

and to me, that's, that's ultimately,

470

that's the kind of service that we like to do.

471

It's like we we're successful enough. I don't have to win every deal.

472

If it's the right thing for the client,

473

I have no problem passing it off in that situation.

474

I'll do the same thing on geography. Like if they wanna buy in Raleigh, I uhuh,

475

I'm not, I, I get lost every time I go to Raleigh. I'm not doing that. So,

476

but anyway,

477

what happened with this person was the HUD agent didn't properly

478

prepare them on what it's like to buy your first home and the mistakes that you

479

can make. And at that point, I wasn't her agent anymore.

480

So three days before closing,

481

her car broke down and she went out and bought a new car. Well,

482

as you know, when you're getting ready to buy a house,

483

you can't do something like have a car payment, it will kick your ratios out.

484

She couldn't qualify for the loan anymore.

485

So literally a few days before closing, she lost the house. Now,

486

this was 15 years ago, I think. So, yeah, right around the downturn,

487

which is why she had this opportunity for this great house. It was,

488

it was during that 2008 nine meltdown. But she had this opportunity,

489

she didn't get it. To this day,

490

she is still renting and that that house has four times the

491

value of what she was going to buy it for. So that, that is life,

492

that's a life changing mistake that that agent made

493

by not coaching her on what she needed to do,

494

getting ready for closing her life was forever changed by that.

495

That's the ramifications of not doing our job well.

496

And I think that really speaks, uh, volumes that after so many years,

497

this story still sticks with you.

498

And I think it's probably a big driver for not making those mistakes.

499

Not making those mistakes, but also even in, in,

500

in subsequently when I have turned clients over to someone else,

501

I'm still checking in with them. Now I have trust issues. Now it's like, like,

502

Hey, did your agent tell you this? Oh, great, great. You know, but it's,

503

you know, 'cause they're, they're like kids to me sometimes. And I mean,

504

you know, even the ones that are older than I am, they're like kids to me.

505

It's like I wanna take care of 'em. So

506

That's amazing. And I, and I,

507

one of the reasons why I will not have a different, a realtor in my life.

508

Do you have anything that you wanna, well,

509

This is, so one thing I was gonna ask everybody that we interview,

510

'cause this is an issue in our household and seeing if it's common,

511

how do you deal with meals?

512

I do the vast majority of the cooking.

513

Do you notice the pause in the,

514

I make sure Jay has food

515

And it is a scheduling thing. 'cause I'm often working five to seven.

516

So Kat has to do most of what I call it meal prep, not cooking.

517

'cause I actually really like to cook. That's kind of one of my joys. And uh,

518

so on the weekends or when I have a day off or something, I will cook. If

519

She wants something that tastes good, she's gotta make it.

520

Otherwise she's getting, uh, you know, carbohydrates and some protein.

521

I'm alive. You know,

522

It'll

523

Always be organic. It will always be, you know, fresh food.

524

It will never be processed packaged things. We don't do that. But, um,

525

it,

526

It may not

527

Always,

528

Doesn't always taste good,

529

Taste great.

530

So, uh, you know, I get, I get it, you know, sometimes it's like, uh, you know,

531

we we're just getting through the day sometimes and especially as couples, it,

532

you know, you guys have an office and we live,

533

we are living currently in our office. Uh,

534

so it becomes a weird thing sometimes 'cause we don't get lunch.

535

You would think it'd be easy, but

536

No. Well we, we actually, I mean I'm, we do have an office,

537

but I only use the office to make clients. I work from home.

538

So we are both working from home all day. Um, and so yeah.

539

So we'll often convene for lunch or, or something. You know, lunches are easy.

540

It's dinners that are a little more challenging. Uh, your schedule is so off.

541

Yeah,

542

Yeah. There's no set. Hey, you cook, I clean. That kind of stuff.

543

The rule in the house is whoever cooks the other person cleans whatever happens.

544

Um, that backfires because I swear to God,

545

she can dirty five pots making a salad. I don't understand how, but it happens.

546

Jay loves it. She's the master of the one pot meal.

547

So there's only one pot to pick up. But I will say this year we,

548

our level of business was much, much higher.

549

And I have discovered that at the end of the day,

550

because I'm working so much more through, because she's working,

551

she's working so much more. At the end of the day,

552

I am more tired than I used to be.

553

And we have started relying on eating out more often or,

554

or door dashing something. But, um, so far we're doing okay.

555

Yeah. You know, for two people who'd never door dashed, you know,

556

for the last year we've door dashed a lot. So,

557

but I get it.

558

That's an interesting question. Now that does lead me and I,

559

I don't wanna take too much time 'cause it's almost 10 o'clock and that is, um,

560

self-care. Do you have a routine for both of you watching each other? You know,

561

because, um, it's important.

562

Well, Kat makes sure that I get my vitamins every morning.

563

Like I get a little shot glass with my vitamins in it with my coffee.

564

Like that's, that is, she's awesome about that. Like,

565

I never have to remember it. You know, I'm having my coffee,

566

the shock get lasts with vitamins in it appears, you know, so I get that. And

567

I do think if this goes back to work schedule,

568

'cause I know that sometimes Jay literally needs to put her phone down,

569

disconnect and not talk to anybody.

570

And so I think being able to push all of the questions

571

into the daytime so that at night I'm not asking her questions about this

572

file or that file makes it a little easier for me

573

to say, okay,

574

at five o'clock we don't have to talk about work unless there's a

575

fire or a phone call.

576

And that actually helps Jay to dial it down and

577

disconnect and recharge. And we also, uh,

578

plug in a few times a year where we go places where we don't have

579

internet connection, we don't have cell service,

580

and we just relax and have fun.

581

So I think that's how I,

582

we both look after each other and I look after Jay for myself,

583

stopping at five o'clock is key as well.

584

I don't wanna be thinking about work at eight o'clock at night. It's, you know,

585

I'm tired and I'm gonna make a mistake. And we've talked about that too.

586

We can't be talking about things at the wrong time because you will make a

587

mistake. It's better just to, if we can put it off till the morning, you know,

588

just stop talking, go to bed, wake up and deal with it then.

589

Yeah. Uh, you know,

590

98% of the crises that come into my inbox after eight o'clock,

591

there's zero that I can do about it until the next day anyway.

592

You know, so turning off my phone at eight is, has become another thing.

593

It's like I turn off my phone at eight, you know, don't look at my,

594

I mean, I sometimes, if I've got a deal going, if I've got,

595

if I've got a negotiation going, we're waiting to hear from something,

596

I will of course stay tuned. But on a routine thing, yeah,

597

we turn off the phones at about eight.

598

I'm glad that you have this idea of, of self-care sort of, uh,

599

already in the relationship and that you guys are taking care of each other

600

because that's, that's really, really important.

601

Um, it's also really important to both of us that we work out, right?

602

So this is something that we've built into our schedules. Mm-hmm. Like,

603

I work out during the day because again, I have busy mornings,

604

I have busy evenings.

605

So middle of the day I take a break and go work out.

606

She sometimes comes with me if I'm going to the gym,

607

but Cat works out every day as well. Mm-hmm. Um, so it, it,

608

it has helped us that that's part of the self-care we've built into our

609

schedule. Yeah,

610

I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad I asked.

611

That's not something that I would ask as a friend.

612

You know, you suss it out in between conversations about oh,

613

what they've been walking, you know, ah, they did this, you know, you, you know.

614

Um, so we have taken, uh,

615

a great amount of time and I cannot thank you enough for being willing to

616

come on and be probed and prodded about what you guys do and

617

your, your life as a couple in business.

618

It's a good fit. It's working out really well. It's a good fit. You know, we,

619

we, we had concerns, you know, 'cause I've had a, an assistant first.

620

I had an assistant for 17 years who was not Kat.

621

So Kat had to learn to read my mind in a new way. So,

622

um, it was just different.

623

Right. Well, I'd love to continue on 'cause I got a thousand more questions,

624

but maybe we'll reprise this, uh, in the next, in the new year.

625

All right. Y'all get on your day.

626

Glad to have spent some time with you this morning. Alright,

627

You guys, you guys have a good one. Take care.

628

Thanks.

629

Hey y'all. Hi y'all. I'm Piper. I'm Monique.

630

As a woman and minority owned business,

631

we're interested in talking to couples that look like us lesbian couples in

632

a service business. That's why this podcast exists.

633

I've been looking for a queer business podcast that showcased L G B T Q and Bipo

634

Owners found the few in each category, but none that mixed the two.

635

So we created Key Peaked Interest podcast.

636

This show is looking to honestly connect with other successful L G B T Q

637

couples in business. We

638

Hope you enjoyed this episode. We're open to nominations, introductions,

639

and suggestions for guests.

640

Hit us up in the comments and thanks for watching and listening.

641

Thanks.