Shownotes
Snowed in and forced to confront their complicated past, Diego and Fay must decide what their relationship, if any, will look like going forward.
Today’s story is the second and final part of “While the Lights Were Out” by Brathor Cyr, who recently completed the regional anthropomorphic writers retreat and has been writing furry fiction for almost two decades. You can find more of his stories SoFurry, FurAffinity, and more.
Last time, childhood friends and former lovers, Diego and Fay, were brought together for the first time in six months by a powerful blizzard and accompanying power outage. The tension between the couple is high, but they’ve temporarily set that aside in the interest of waiting out the storm.
Read by Dirt Coyote, formerly of twitter dot com.
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https://thevoice.dog/episode/while-the-lights-were-out-by-brathor-cyr-part-2-of-2
Transcripts
You’re listening to The Voice of Dog.
Speaker:This is Rob MacWolf, your fellow traveler,
Speaker:and Today’s story is the second and final part of “While the
Speaker:Lights Were Out”
Speaker:by Brathor Cyr,
Speaker:who recently completed the regional anthropomorphic writers retreat
Speaker:and has been writing furry fiction for almost two decades.
Speaker:You can find more of his stories SoFurry,
Speaker:FurAffinity, and more.
Speaker:Last time, childhood friends and former lovers, Diego and Fay,
Speaker:were brought together for the first time in six months by a powerful blizzard
Speaker:and accompanying power outage.
Speaker:The tension between the couple is high, but they’ve temporarily set that aside
Speaker:in the interest of waiting out the storm.
Speaker:Read by Dirt Coyote,
Speaker:formerly of twitter dot com.
Speaker:Please enjoy “While the Lights Were Out”
Speaker:by Brathor Cyr,
Speaker:Part 2 of 2 Forty minutes later,
Speaker:Diego was tending to a healthy, but controlled blaze.
Speaker:Repairing the fireplace had been a significant expense when they'd first moved in,
Speaker:but he had long since decided it had been worth the cost.
Speaker:Even though he wasn't in the mood to use it often these days,
Speaker:he still had a significant amount of wood stored behind the garage for nights like this one.
Speaker:The amber glow of the fire
Speaker:broke through the darkness that had settled into the house,
Speaker:and the chill of the storm had been pushed back towards the bedrooms.
Speaker:Some time earlier,
Speaker:he'd seen the movement of a phone light -
Speaker:Fay making his way into the guest room.
Speaker:Now, the subtle clicking of claws across the floor marked the marten's return
Speaker:to the main part of the house.
Speaker:In meeting his gaze,
Speaker:Diego felt an unexpected sense of comfort,
Speaker:contrasting what he'd felt when they'd returned from the storm.
Speaker:Even after so much time,
Speaker:having him this close made Diego feel as if he'd found something important that had been missing.
Speaker:Without electricity to power the autodryer,
Speaker:the marten's fur was still damp in the thicker parts, but he still looked
Speaker:more like himself than he had all night.
Speaker:Or, at least he resembled the marten Diego remembered from their high school days.
Speaker:He'd changed into a loose-fitting sleeveless shirt and a pair of hip-hugging jeans that had seen better days.
Speaker:A slight smell of dust tickled Diego's nose,
Speaker:even from several feet away.
Speaker:Still, seeing Fay dressed like this was another reminder of what their life had been before they'd left home.
Speaker:How differently would things have turned out had they stayed in the desert?
Speaker:"So, that box is mostly old summer stuff,"
Speaker:Fay said while holding up a green-checked flannel shirt Diego recognized from his own closet.
Speaker:"Do you mind if I borrow this?"
Speaker:"Take it." Diego forced his tail to stop wagging as soon as he noticed it,
Speaker:though Fay's flicking eyes told him that effort had come too late.
Speaker:He felt heat in his ears
Speaker:that had nothing to do with the fire.
Speaker:The shirt was at least two sizes too big for Fay,
Speaker:but the look reminded Diego of nights they'd spent half-dressed back in their old apartment.
Speaker:"I called Taylor. If he ever asks, I found a cheap hotel and used some emergency cash to pay for it.
Speaker:it." Diego narrowed his eyes.
Speaker:"It's a white lie.
Speaker:If I tell him I'm here,
Speaker:it'll create drama."
Speaker:Something about that stung,
Speaker:and Diego was speaking before he'd even considered the words.
Speaker:"Did you discuss something like that
Speaker:when you decided to leave me?"
Speaker:Fay flinched, then looked down.
Speaker:"Do we have to talk about that more?"
Speaker:The anger that had been tamped down now flared in his stomach.
Speaker:"Don't act like this is some trivial thing I should just forget about."
Speaker:Fay held out his arms.
Speaker:"I'm not asking you to forget about it.
Speaker:Just... put it away for a few hours.
Speaker:It happened. It sucked.
Speaker:I'm sorry. I was scared,
Speaker:and confused, and I was trying to find a way to tell you so that it wouldn't hurt so much.
Speaker:much." Diego turned his attention back to the flickering flames to hide the moisture in his eyes.
Speaker:He shifted the burning wood with the metal poker.
Speaker:"I need to talk about it.
Speaker:But if you're not ready,
Speaker:I can wait. Assuming that you don't disappear again when you go home."
Speaker:The marten sighed. "No.
Speaker:No, I think it's clear that only made things worse."
Speaker:Diego nodded. "You were saying something about your fiance?"
Speaker:In the kitchen, the clock continued its steady beat
Speaker:as Fay hesitated.
Speaker:"He wants to catch an early flight back.
Speaker:back." As he spoke, he was pulling a pair of bottles from the liquor cabinet.
Speaker:"How's that water coming?"
Speaker:Diego eyed the iron kettle.
Speaker:The metal grate it rested on was awkwardly placed to allow the kettle to get heat
Speaker:without being directly in the fire. Wispy trails of steam were emerging from the pointed spout,
Speaker:so Diego grabbed the oven mitt he'd placed nearby
Speaker:and carefully hoisted it
Speaker:out. "Looks hot to me," he said as he made his way into the kitchen
Speaker:and set the thing on a folded dish towel he'd set out.
Speaker:"Don't burn yourself,"
Speaker:he added. Unfazed, the smaller male confiscated Diego's mitt, and began pouring bourbon into a pair of mugs decorated in a colorful southwestern pattern -
Speaker:an old housewarming gift from Diego's mom.
Speaker:"Do I need to worry about Taylor showing up in the middle of the night?"
Speaker:Diego asked. Again,
Speaker:he found his gaze lingering on Fay's body
Speaker:and forced himself to stop.
Speaker:"I doubt it. From what I can tell the local airports are going to stay shut down at least until tomorrow morning.
Speaker:Probably longer. There's no reason for him to give up the beach for
Speaker:this," he gestured towards the window.
Speaker:"Besides, he should spend time with his mom.
Speaker:mom." He was stirring the drinks with a metal spoon.
Speaker:When it was done,
Speaker:he passed the steaming mug,
Speaker:garnished with a cinnamon stick,
Speaker:towards him. Diego sniffed,
Speaker:licked, then recoiled at the heat.
Speaker:"Is something wrong with her?
Speaker:Taylor's mom, I mean?"
Speaker:Fay cradled his mug,
Speaker:eyes low. "Yeah. Cancer.
Speaker:I don't have all the details,
Speaker:but she's been trying to reconnect with Taylor."
Speaker:"They don't get along?"
Speaker:"She caught him with one of their neighbors when he was just out of high school.
Speaker:I mean, it's hard to imagine anyone confusing Taylor for a straight guy,
Speaker:but I guess that was how she found out.
Speaker:Tay ended up homeless for a couple months
Speaker:and they didn't talk for years.
Speaker:years." Diego gritted his teeth.
Speaker:Family was such an important part of his life,
Speaker:but even when things had been at their worst with Pa,
Speaker:he'd never worried that they might throw him out.
Speaker:As much as he'd come to hate Taylor over the last few months,
Speaker:no one deserved that kind of treatment.
Speaker:"Makes you appreciate our parents a little more,
Speaker:huh?" For a moment,
Speaker:Diego was sixteen again,
Speaker:sitting next to Fay on the old living room sofa with its yellow floral upholstery.
Speaker:The spicy scent of the pozole still simmering was making his stomach growl even as it twisted in knots. Pa had just gotten home from work, later than usual.
Speaker:Ma was trying to finish dinner.
Speaker:But when he'd told them he wanted to talk,
Speaker:they'd both sat down in the chairs across from them
Speaker:and waited patiently while Diego found himself fidgeting
Speaker:and second guessing the timing.
Speaker:Just when Diego had been about to back out,
Speaker:Fay reached out a paw
Speaker:and squeezed his.
Speaker:Ma's eyes widened. Pa's ears went back.
Speaker:But Diego's resolve returned,
Speaker:and he sat up straighter.
Speaker:"Fay and I have something we need to tell you."
Speaker:In the present, Fay had taken his mug and moved closer to the fire,
Speaker:sitting on the end of the sectional directly across from it.
Speaker:Diego took another tentative lap from his own cup,
Speaker:which had cooled while they talked.
Speaker:Satisfied, the coyote made his way to the opposite end of the L-shaped sofa.
Speaker:Fay had dug out a coaster before putting his drink on the coffee table.
Speaker:Diego hadn't bothered,
Speaker:and briefly felt self-conscious about not treating their things well. Fay had
Speaker:picked out most of the furniture.
Speaker:A few moments of quiet passed as they nursed their drinks, the crackling of the fire and the occasional blast of wind from the storm
Speaker:as their only backdrop aside from each other's breathing.
Speaker:Diego was deep in thought,
Speaker:trying to understand exactly what he was feeling,
Speaker:while Fay seemed to grow restless,
Speaker:staring at his phone.
Speaker:"You should probably turn that off if you want to have it for calls later."
Speaker:Fay sighed and put the device in his lap.
Speaker:Glancing around the room, his eyes fell on the neat pile of colorful boxes on top of the bookshelf.
Speaker:"How about a game?"
Speaker:Even in the dim lighting, Diego could see the thin layer of dust.
Speaker:"Really? Don't think I have many that are much fun with two people.
Speaker:Maybe that dice game?"
Speaker:He made his way over and started looking.
Speaker:He'd had most of these since childhood,
Speaker:and even then they'd often been missing pieces.
Speaker:Fay shook his head quickly.
Speaker:"Didn't you have that capture the flag strategy thing?"
Speaker:Diego rubbed the back of his neck.
Speaker:"I think that was yours."
Speaker:"Oh." Diego chuckled as his eyes settled on an worn red box with gold lettering.
Speaker:"There's always Scrabble."
Speaker:Fay, who had looked slightly deflated after Diego's last comment sat up straighter.
Speaker:"Whoa. Is that the same one from when we were cubs?"
Speaker:"Heh. Yeah." Another memory came to him in surprisingly vivid detail.
Speaker:This time, he was nine years old, sitting at the flimsy antique table with the folding legs his family had eaten most of his childhood meals on.
Speaker:Light poured from a dangling glass globe, stained yellow by years of cigarette smoke.
Speaker:His mother's vase and few other items had been pushed aside and a colorful grid on a game board was splayed out in front of them.
Speaker:The younger Fay was meticulously arranging rows of letters across the board,
Speaker:fang poking out as he concentrated.
Speaker:He was dressed in dark slacks,
Speaker:a yellow bowtie,
Speaker:and a blue button-up.
Speaker:Diego didn't even dress that nicely for church,
Speaker:but Fay always wore things like this to school back then.
Speaker:The fur under Diego's eyes was still matted.
Speaker:That afternoon, their class had taken turns reading passages from a reader.
Speaker:Their second grade teacher -
Speaker:a stern, old vixen -
Speaker:had forced Diego to stand at the front of the classroom and stutter his way through several long paragraphs.
Speaker:He spoke Albion and Sonoran as well as any cub his age,
Speaker:but he couldn't read or write either,
Speaker:at least not well.
Speaker:With great effort, he'd managed to keep this from being known by the class at large.
Speaker:That day, the teacher had decided that humiliation might be the motivation he needed to improve.
Speaker:His ears and cheeks burned as the vixen corrected his slow attempts to sound out words
Speaker:and by the time he'd gotten through the second paragraph,
Speaker:he'd been in tears and unable to continue
Speaker:because his voice kept breaking.
Speaker:The rest of the school day had been a haze of cruel laughter and whispered taunts from cubs he'd spent most of the previous year trying to impress.
Speaker:As soon as the bell sounded,
Speaker:he left quickly, and was soon walking slowly towards home,
Speaker:his head and tail down.
Speaker:When a second shadow joined his on the sidewalk,
Speaker:Diego didn't know what to say.
Speaker:Just days earlier, he'd joined his
Speaker:"friends" in bullying the marten.
Speaker:Now, Fay insisted on walking home together.
Speaker:It turned out they lived in the same neighborhood.
Speaker:Without even asking, the marten began tutoring him after school.
Speaker:At first, Diego had found it annoying,
Speaker:but Fay was persistent.
Speaker:At some point, he'd started wanting to do well just to show Fay it was worth spending time together,
Speaker:and by the end of the year,
Speaker:he'd been reading at grade level.
Speaker:Even twenty years later,
Speaker:those days were some of his favorite memories.
Speaker:In the fire-lit living room,
Speaker:Diego retrieved the faded cardboard box.
Speaker:"Come on, it will be fun. Remember
Speaker:when you used to play my letters too?" Fay sounded embarrassed.
Speaker:"I was just trying to help you."
Speaker:"I know," Diego said. The contents of the box slid across the inside as he lifted it from the shelf.
Speaker:"I used to like it cause you'd sit in my lap."
Speaker:Fay choked on his drink,
Speaker:and Diego smiled to himself,
Speaker:glad he could still get that kind of reaction.
Speaker:"Jesus. We were what,
Speaker:ten?" Diego set the game on the coffee table and shrugged.
Speaker:"I mean, it's not like I knew why I liked it."
Speaker:They set up the game from memory and began to play.
Speaker:Diego sat with his back to the fire while Fay sat on the short end of the sectional.
Speaker:Every so often Fay went back to the kitchen to get them another round of drinks,
Speaker:and Diego would carefully add more wood on the fire,
Speaker:which kept the room cozy,
Speaker:despite the creeping cold in the rest of the house.
Speaker:Fay won the first game easily,
Speaker:and halfway through their second game,
Speaker:he added a "Z-I-F-Y" to Diego's "Quiz.
Speaker:"Quiz." The Y was on a triple word score.
Speaker:"That's bullshit. I don't care what the rules say."
Speaker:"There's the sore loser I remember,"
Speaker:Fay said, flipping through a yellowed rule booklet.
Speaker:"Ya valió madre,"
Speaker:he growled, raising his arm as if to swipe the board clean.
Speaker:Fay stopped him.
Speaker:"Oh come on, D. I'm sure you've got something you can play."
Speaker:The marten stepped around the coffee table,
Speaker:his long tail flitting side to side, it's end brushing the ground.
Speaker:Before Diego realized what was happening,
Speaker:the slight marten had settled into his lap
Speaker:and was pawing his remaining tiles as if they were cubs again.
Speaker:Except ten-year-old Fay had never deliberately wriggled his hips to make sure Diego's sheath
Speaker:was nestled against the curve of his ass.
Speaker:The sensation mixed with the marten's familiar scent was almost as intoxicating
Speaker:as the alcohol that was starting to make the pads on his fingers tingle.
Speaker:Shit, had Fay gotten him drunk on purpose?
Speaker:"What are you doing?"
Speaker:he managed, trying to sound stern.
Speaker:Fay didn't even look back at him,
Speaker:but he did shift his hips the way Diego had always liked.
Speaker:The coyote closed his eyes and a nearly inaudible groan slipped from his muzzle.
Speaker:Hook ups had lost their appeal over the last few months,
Speaker:and it had been weeks since he'd had anyone over.
Speaker:Now, his body was urgently reminding him of his neglect.
Speaker:"You've got another Q here.
Speaker:Bet we could do something with that, at least.
Speaker:Too many vowels though.
Speaker:though." "Fay..." The marten leaned back against him, sending a warm shiver through Diego.
Speaker:"Maybe... 'queen?' You could play it-"
Speaker:"Fay, stop." The marten did stop,
Speaker:but there was hurt in his voice.
Speaker:"I thought you said you liked this."
Speaker:"I do... I did. But..." Fay shifted his position,
Speaker:turning his body to lean against Diego's while one paw softly ran along one of the coyote's arms.
Speaker:He could smell the alcohol on the marten's breath.
Speaker:"It's like you said in the car,
Speaker:no one has to know."
Speaker:The nearby fire seemed to resonate through him as a paw slid down his arm,
Speaker:then across his torso.
Speaker:When he didn't resist, fingers pressed under the woven fabric of his sweater and began tugging
Speaker:at the fine tawny fur of his stomach.
Speaker:Diego breathed out, a soft whine of longing escaping his lips.
Speaker:Their muzzles met as the marten shifted.
Speaker:They kissed. The coyote's flat tongue slipped against Fay's
Speaker:as if from muscle memory.
Speaker:Emboldened, Fay's second paw drifted between the coyote's legs.
Speaker:It took a great deal of effort for Diego to grab the marten's slender wrist
Speaker:before it could finish that journey.
Speaker:He pulled back from the kiss, muzzles still inches apart.
Speaker:"We can't, Fay." he swallowed.
Speaker:"I can't do this to someone else."
Speaker:The marten looked at him, green eyes staring into his. Slowly, Fay withdrew his paws and offered a barely perceptible nod.
Speaker:He refused to make eye contact then.
Speaker:Diego let out a soft breath,
Speaker:trying to ignore the scent of their combined arousal.
Speaker:"I still love you, Fay,
Speaker:but I'm not going to turn into a drunken hookup.
Speaker:It cheapens everything that came before."
Speaker:"You're right. Sorry,
Speaker:I..." Fay stopped. "I just
Speaker:let myself drink too much.
Speaker:much." He stood, using the back of one paw to wipe at his eyes.
Speaker:"God, I'm such a mess."
Speaker:The coyote was paralyzed for several breaths before he stood and slowly pulled Fay into a less heated embrace.
Speaker:They could both feel each other's physical want,
Speaker:but that subsided as Fay's body began to shake
Speaker:and Diego felt warmth against his chest.
Speaker:He didn't know what else to say,
Speaker:so the coyote just held him and rubbed his back in slow circles.
Speaker:They stayed like that for several long minutes.
Speaker:Fay just leaned against him as he regained his composure,
Speaker:and the coyote eventually eased him back onto the sectional so he could lie down.
Speaker:"You should have some water.
Speaker:water." A moment later, he placed a glass into Fay's paws.
Speaker:He had to coerce the marten to gulp down a few sips,
Speaker:but he eventually acquiesced.
Speaker:That done, Diego retrieved as many blankets from the bedrooms as he could manage.
Speaker:Fay had already drifted off to sleep when he returned,
Speaker:but Diego draped a few of the warmer blankets over him anyway to make sure he'd be comfortable overnight.
Speaker:He made up his own sleeping spot on the sectional,
Speaker:head towards the fire and feet towards Fay.
Speaker:He doubted there would be any more temptation that night, but he didn't want to take any chances.
Speaker:Even the thought of what they could have been doing was enough to stir the latent arousal he'd pushed aside.
Speaker:He wasn't sure he could do that again if Fay did try anything.
Speaker:He wasn't even sure he had made the right decision in stopping him.
Speaker:It took him a long time to finally get to sleep. ***
Speaker:Early in the morning,
Speaker:Diego woke to the startling sounds of the house coming back to life.
Speaker:The worst of the storm had passed,
Speaker:and the gusts of wind had finally subsided.
Speaker:The silence was now broken by the thump
Speaker:and hiss of the furnace
Speaker:and the more subtle combined hums of electronic appliances and devices throughout the house now creating a comforting
Speaker:symphony of familiar sounds.
Speaker:The coyote glanced at the ball of fur on the other side of the couch. Fay had
Speaker:curled into a
Speaker:near-fetal position overnight,
Speaker:but was still breathing in the even rhythm of sleep.
Speaker:He thought about waking him now that the power was back,
Speaker:but after a brief consideration,
Speaker:decided they could both use a little more sleep.
Speaker:So, Diego quietly fed the fire
Speaker:then curled back into his makeshift bed.
Speaker:As he drifted back to sleep,
Speaker:he was surprised at the sense of catharsis he felt simply by being on the other side of the storm.
Speaker:He'd been through a few blizzards
Speaker:like this one since they'd left home,
Speaker:but he apparently still hadn't gotten comfortable with them.
Speaker:He wondered if he would ever fully acclimate to this new life,
Speaker:or if a part of him would always long for the arid heat of the desert. ***
Speaker:The sizzle of bacon on a hot griddle was what woke him a few hours later.
Speaker:The mingling scent of cooking food and freshly brewed coffee soon followed,
Speaker:and though Diego was still groggy,
Speaker:he shook it off with a stretch as he stood,
Speaker:then shook out his fur. Fay had
Speaker:broken out an electric griddle, yet another thing Diego hadn't used in the months since he'd left,
Speaker:and was busily cooking enough breakfast to feed four people.
Speaker:Not that Diego was complaining.
Speaker:The coyote was a good cook,
Speaker:but the marten's torrejas -
Speaker:egg-battered fried toast -
Speaker:was something he'd never been able to replicate and he'd
Speaker:missed it. He would never tell her this,
Speaker:but it was even better than his mother's.
Speaker:The scents of butter, spices, and honey transported him to a happier time,
Speaker:if only for a few moments.
Speaker:Noticing him, Fay was all smiles as he quickly shifted his attention to the counter behind him
Speaker:and produced a ceramic mug.
Speaker:"You still take your coffee with milk and sugar?"
Speaker:Diego's answer was to take it and down a few swallows.
Speaker:It was the perfect temperature.
Speaker:Not that he was picky about his coffee first thing in the morning. "Ugh.
Speaker:I really needed that."
Speaker:"It was a long night,
Speaker:but you always say that."
Speaker:The coyote shrugged. "It's always true." He cleared the table while Fay finished cooking,
Speaker:and soon they were eating across from each other as if the last six months hadn't happened.
Speaker:Fay didn't eat much,
Speaker:but he did make small talk while Diego had his fill.
Speaker:He did try to talk about what had happened the night before,
Speaker:but Fay stopped him.
Speaker:"Not yet, D. Just... let's enjoy this for a few more minutes."
Speaker:And so they did. But when it was done,
Speaker:Fay was the one to push things along.
Speaker:"I'm... really sorry about last night.
Speaker:I swear that this wasn't some elaborate scheme to get you to sleep with me or something."
Speaker:Diego exhaled. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wondered."
Speaker:"That's fair." "If I didn't know that you and Taylor were closed,
Speaker:I might have let it happen,"
Speaker:he confessed. Fay's smile was small but genuine.
Speaker:"Still, I think we need to talk about it now.
Speaker:And, probably some other things too.
Speaker:Did you mean what you said last night?"
Speaker:"Which part?" Emerald eyes met his.
Speaker:"When you said you still loved me."
Speaker:He considered a lie.
Speaker:But he knew Fay had already seen the truth in his eyes.
Speaker:"I... don't think I could ever stop.
Speaker:Loving you is a part of who I am.
Speaker:am." The next breath the marten took was shaky,
Speaker:and his eyes glistened.
Speaker:"Why," his voice caught
Speaker:and he had to start again.
Speaker:"Why couldn't you have said things like that
Speaker:when we were together?"
Speaker:Diego felt like he'd been slapped.
Speaker:"What?" "God. I don't know.
Speaker:I'd convinced myself that you didn't really love me
Speaker:and that we were only together because it was convenient. It's not like there were a lot of dating options growing up.
Speaker:We were friends. It makes sense that we'd be together for
Speaker:a while. But up here... I don't know,
Speaker:I worried I was holding you back.
Speaker:And, I guess a part of me thought you were doing the same to me."
Speaker:Diego looked at his former partner,
Speaker:stomach sinking. "Why would you
Speaker:ever think that?" Fay ran a finger pad over the surface of the table.
Speaker:"It's just... you were always so...
Speaker:laid back. Most of our nights out together were with people we were sleeping with.
Speaker:It started to feel like we were just each others
Speaker:best fuck buddies or something.
Speaker:You only brought up marriage once."
Speaker:The coyote's ears dropped.
Speaker:"You said there was no point and I agreed -
Speaker:I don't need some county clerk to give me a certificate to tell me that we're family,
Speaker:but I would have done it in a heartbeat.
Speaker:If you changed your mind,
Speaker:you should have said something.
Speaker:something." Fay's finger flexed and the tip of his claw extended into the wood
Speaker:just enough to leave a small dimple before he stopped and pulled his paw back.
Speaker:There were several similar pockmarks scattered across the surface that had accumulated over time.
Speaker:"I tried, D. Every time I tried to get romantic or talk about our feelings,
Speaker:you'd put up this
Speaker:macho facade. You'd make jokes, and grab my ass,
Speaker:and then we'd laugh and fuck.
Speaker:And it just seemed to be the same thing
Speaker:over and over." "So that's it?
Speaker:You just decided one day that we were done? Without even talking to me?"
Speaker:"What was I going to say? 'Thanks
Speaker:for eight years, Have a good life.'"
Speaker:"And dumping me
Speaker:for our friend was better?"
Speaker:Fay's shut his eyes, a tear seeping into the fur of one cheek.
Speaker:"Things with Taylor
Speaker:started to get serious.
Speaker:You were traveling for work all the time. And he was...
Speaker:passionate and open with me.
Speaker:It reminded me of how I felt
Speaker:in those early days with you,
Speaker:when everything was fresh and new.
Speaker:We tried things I'd never done with anyone else. And...
Speaker:you didn't even seem to care that we were getting close.
Speaker:When he told me he had feelings for me,
Speaker:I should have ended it.
Speaker:But I couldn't deny that there was something between us.
Speaker:I was still trying to figure things out when he asked me to move in with him,
Speaker:and that was right when you were getting ready to leave for yet another fucking conference."
Speaker:Diego had reflected on those weeks
Speaker:over and over again over the last six months.
Speaker:The signs that something was wrong had been there.
Speaker:Fay barely talked to him most days.
Speaker:Taylor had stopped showing up to events that Diego was going to be at
Speaker:while Fay still spent most weekends away at the raccoon's apartment.
Speaker:Hell, with all his traveling,
Speaker:he'd encouraged the two of them to spend more time together so Fay wouldn't be lonely.
Speaker:The thought that their relationship might be moving in
Speaker:that direction didn't occur to him until it was already over.
Speaker:"I appreciate you finally talking to me.
Speaker:But it seems a little late,
Speaker:doesn't it?" Fay sighed.
Speaker:"Probably. But, fuck, back then,
Speaker:I went with what my gut was telling me and,"
Speaker:his voice cracked again,
Speaker:but he pushed through,
Speaker:"Now I can't stop thinking that it was a stupid, stupid mistake.
Speaker:I miss you every day.
Speaker:Driving home from work,
Speaker:I have to stop myself from just coming back here and begging you to take me back.
Speaker:And now whenever I go home to Taylor,
Speaker:I can't help but wish I was seeing you instead."
Speaker:"So those feelings you thought you had for him just disappeared?"
Speaker:"God, that's the thing, D.
Speaker:I don't think they did.
Speaker:I think I might love both of you.
Speaker:Is that... selfish of me?"
Speaker:"I... really don't know.
Speaker:I can see why it would be confusing."
Speaker:"I don't know what to do, Diego. Would you even want me back?"
Speaker:The coyote considered.
Speaker:More memories of their time together made it hard to think realistically about what a future with Fay might look like
Speaker:after everything that had happened.
Speaker:"Maybe. But that would be helping you make the same mistake again.
Speaker:I was friends with Taylor once too, remember?
Speaker:You need to talk to him about all this,
Speaker:yeah?" "After a visit with his sick mother?
Speaker:Doesn't that make me even more of an asshole?"
Speaker:"You can't stay with someone out of guilt.
Speaker:That wouldn't be fair to either of you."
Speaker:Fay gave him a faint smile.
Speaker:"I guess. Would you consider being
Speaker:th--" He was interrupted by the distinctive sound of a vibrating phone.
Speaker:Diego looked to where it was plugged in on the kitchen counter.
Speaker:The marten swore, but hurried to it.
Speaker:There was only a second of hesitation
Speaker:as he stared at the screen,
Speaker:then answered.
Speaker:"Hey, hun." A pause, then,
Speaker:"Yeah, power just came back a few hours ago."
Speaker:Diego knew what Fay had been about to ask.
Speaker:Would it be fair for him to be there?
Speaker:As angry as he had been at the raccoon,
Speaker:he was surprised to realize he still cared about him.
Speaker:They hadn't known each other long,
Speaker:but there were good memories mixed in with the bad.
Speaker:Fay wanted him there,
Speaker:but he didn't want to repeat the scene that had happened across the room just six months earlier.
Speaker:Was there a way he could be there for both of them?
Speaker:Or was that just a way to justify being at Fay's side once more?
Speaker:"Yeah. I'm going to call Diego and see if he can give me a ride to the airport.
Speaker:He's the only one I know with all-wheel drive.
Speaker:drive." A pause. Diego couldn't quite make out the voice on the other end of the call.
Speaker:"I'll text you... yeah,
Speaker:it's OK. There's just something
Speaker:I need to talk to you about when you get back.
Speaker:back." Fay sniffed quietly. Diego and Fay
Speaker:shared a look across the table.
Speaker:They both seemed to know what the other was thinking.
Speaker:Diego made his decision. "Yeah,
Speaker:love you too, hun. See you
Speaker:soon." This was the second and final part of
Speaker:“While the Lights Were Out” by Brathor Cyr, read for you by Dirt Coyote, formerly of twitter dot com.
Speaker:As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,
Speaker:or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker:Thank you for listening to The Voice of Dog.