Show Notes:
In this episode of "Aging with Grace & Style," host Valerie Hatcher discusses the importance of mental well-being for women over 50. She explores how societal narratives about aging can be reframed to appreciate wisdom and growth. Valerie offers insights on cultivating a growth mindset, practicing gratitude, and challenging limiting beliefs through cognitive restructuring. She emphasizes the power of self-talk, self-compassion, and positive affirmations in fostering a healthy mindset. The episode also addresses major life transitions like the empty nest and retirement, providing tips for coping with identity shifts and embracing new opportunities for personal growth.
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to mental well-being for women over 50
01:05 Embracing aging with wisdom and resilience
04:54 Challenging and reframing limiting beliefs
06:19 Implementing cognitive restructuring for mental wellness
12:20 Navigating life transitions like the empty nest phase
13:17 Preparing emotionally for the retirement phase
0:14:24 Coping with identity shifts and an empty nest
16:52 Transitioning to a second act with self-compassion
18:15 Recap of top strategies for mental health care
19:23 Encouragement for nurturing mental well-being
Key Takeaways:
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Hey there. As you know, May is Mental
Speaker:Health Awareness Month. And today, we're going
Speaker:to talk about a topic that's incredibly
Speaker:important for us women over 50, and that's
Speaker:taking care of our mental well-being.
Speaker:Hey, friend. Ever feel like those old fashioned
Speaker:ideas about aging just don't fit you? If you're ready to
Speaker:own this incredible chapter with grace, style, and a touch of
Speaker:sass, this is your space. Welcome to the aging with
Speaker:grace and style podcast. I'm Valerie Hatcher, and I'm here with empowering tips, inspiring stories,
Speaker:and a whole lot of fun just for us,
Speaker:women over 50. So grab your favorite beverage, turn
Speaker:up the volume, and let's get started.
Speaker:Whether you're navigating the empty nest,
Speaker:approaching retirement, or simply going
Speaker:through a major life transition, This stage of
Speaker:life can bring up a whirlwind of
Speaker:emotions and challenges. But you know what?
Speaker:Girl, we got this. And I'm
Speaker:here with some insights that might help you to
Speaker:thrive. So let's start by
Speaker:addressing the narratives and mindset surrounding
Speaker:aging. Society often tells
Speaker:us that our best years are behind us, but
Speaker:that couldn't be further from the truth. This stage of
Speaker:life is a time of immense wisdom,
Speaker:resilience, and unique perspectives that
Speaker:only come with experience.
Speaker:Instead of viewing aging as a process of
Speaker:decline, we can choose to see it as a
Speaker:journey of growth, wisdom, and newfound
Speaker:freedoms. For example, many women
Speaker:over 50 report feeling a sense of liberation
Speaker:from societal pressures and external
Speaker:expectations, allowing them to focus on
Speaker:what truly matters to them. This stage of life
Speaker:can be a time of self discovery
Speaker:where we shed limiting beliefs and embrace our
Speaker:true authentic selves. The key
Speaker:is to cultivate a
Speaker:growth mindset, the belief that that our
Speaker:abilities and our potential are not fixed
Speaker:but can continually grow and
Speaker:evolve with effort and perseverance. Now
Speaker:this mindset shift, it can be empowering, opening
Speaker:up us up to new possibilities
Speaker:and opportunities for personal growth.
Speaker:Another tool in our mental health
Speaker:toolkit is gratitude. By
Speaker:actively gratitude and and focusing
Speaker:on the positive aspects of our lives, we
Speaker:can shift our perspective and and
Speaker:cultivate a sense of appreciation and
Speaker:contentment. So a gratitude
Speaker:exercise that you can do is, if you haven't
Speaker:already done so, start a gratitude journal. I
Speaker:have one. Now I don't use it every day, but
Speaker:I can tell when I need to pull it out and when I need
Speaker:to reflect on what I'm grateful for.
Speaker:So what you can do is each day, write
Speaker:down, say, 3 to 5 things that you're grateful for.
Speaker:These can be big or small from, like,
Speaker:feeling healthy to appreciating a beautiful
Speaker:sunset. If you want to add
Speaker:on to that, you can reflect on
Speaker:why you're grateful for each of those things. That kinda
Speaker:deepens the impact. So for example,
Speaker:I'm grateful for my morning cup of coffee and my
Speaker:quiet time. It's a small ritual that
Speaker:really helps me to start my day. So starting
Speaker:your day by focusing on what you appreciate
Speaker:can have an impact on your mindset and your
Speaker:overall well-being. Now
Speaker:let's talk about limiting beliefs that that can hold us
Speaker:back. I'm guessing many of us have
Speaker:them or at one point or another have had
Speaker:them, whether it's feeling invisible,
Speaker:doubting our capabilities, or telling ourselves
Speaker:we're too old for certain pursuits.
Speaker:These self limiting beliefs can be damaging to our
Speaker:mental well-being. Trust me. I've
Speaker:experienced self limiting beliefs with
Speaker:thoughts like I'm not as good as other content
Speaker:creators or podcasters or will people even listen
Speaker:to what I have to say or even do
Speaker:I have anything to say? Those are just
Speaker:a couple of them. The good news is that we
Speaker:have the power to challenge and reframe
Speaker:these negative thought patterns. One technique
Speaker:that I've been following is called cognitive
Speaker:restructuring, where we examine our thoughts
Speaker:objectively and replace them with
Speaker:more realistic perspectives. So, for instance,
Speaker:one exercise is called the thought record,
Speaker:and here's how it works. 1st, we
Speaker:identify the negative thought or belief that's
Speaker:causing you to distress. For example, I'm too
Speaker:old to start a new career. Next, challenge that
Speaker:thought by asking yourself, is this thought
Speaker:based on facts or assumptions?
Speaker:What's the evidence for and against this
Speaker:thought? Or am I blowing
Speaker:things out of proportion? Then come up
Speaker:with alternative, more balanced thoughts,
Speaker:such as age is just a number
Speaker:and many successful people have started new careers later in
Speaker:life, or my experience and wisdom are
Speaker:valuable assets that can benefit a new
Speaker:field. Then take
Speaker:action based on your new, more realistic
Speaker:perspective. Perhaps
Speaker:you research inspiring stories of career changers
Speaker:over 50 or maybe schedule
Speaker:informational interviews in your desired field.
Speaker:Building confidence and self esteem
Speaker:is also crucial in overcoming these limiting
Speaker:beliefs. Remember, you're powerful.
Speaker:You're capable with tons of
Speaker:wealth and experience and knowledge that you can offer to the
Speaker:world. So let's talk
Speaker:about the power of self talk and self
Speaker:compassion. So our internal
Speaker:dialogue can have a profound impact on our emotions,
Speaker:our behaviors, and overall well-being.
Speaker:If we're constantly berating and criticizing ourselves,
Speaker:it can lead to anxiety, to low self esteem,
Speaker:and a whole host of mental health challenges.
Speaker:So some examples of negative self talk are,
Speaker:I'm too old to try new things, and this can lead
Speaker:to a fear of taking risk and missed
Speaker:opportunities for growth, or I'm not good
Speaker:enough. Self doubt and low self esteem
Speaker:can impact our motivation, our relationships,
Speaker:and overall well-being, or
Speaker:I'll never be able to do that. This
Speaker:limiting belief can become a
Speaker:self fulfilling prophecy that
Speaker:prevents us from even trying.
Speaker:Negative self talk can perpetuate anxiety,
Speaker:depression, and a lack of self confidence.
Speaker:It can also strain our relationships
Speaker:as we project our inner critic onto others.
Speaker:So that's why it's important to cultivate a
Speaker:kind, nurturing inner voice, one that
Speaker:treats us with the same compassion and understanding that
Speaker:we'd offer a friend. When we practice self
Speaker:compassion, we create a
Speaker:safe space within ourselves for healing, for growth,
Speaker:and self acceptance.
Speaker:Positive affirmations and mantras can also be
Speaker:helpful in reprogramming our subconscious minds
Speaker:and creating a more, let's say, a more
Speaker:supportive inner dialogue. So some
Speaker:examples of positive affirmations would
Speaker:be, I am worthy of love, happiness,
Speaker:and success. I embrace my
Speaker:authentic self without apology. I
Speaker:am strong, resilient, and capable of overcoming
Speaker:any challenge. My age is an
Speaker:asset, bringing wisdom and experience to everything I
Speaker:do. I am constantly growing,
Speaker:evolving, and becoming the best version of myself.
Speaker:Now try creating some affirmations of your own.
Speaker:Positive affirmations can help as to rewire
Speaker:our thoughts, to boost self confidence and to
Speaker:counter negative self talk, repeat them
Speaker:regularly, especially during the times when
Speaker:you're facing self doubt. Now let's talk
Speaker:about those major life transitions
Speaker:that can totally shake things up, whether
Speaker:it's the empty nest, retirement, or
Speaker:taking on new caregiving roles, these
Speaker:changes can be both exciting and daunting.
Speaker:So if you're dealing with the empty nest, then
Speaker:know that the feelings of sadness, of loss, and
Speaker:even identity crisis are completely normal.
Speaker:You're fixed with trying to to figure out
Speaker:what's next, but be gentle with yourself
Speaker:and remember that this transition
Speaker:also offers an opportunity to rediscover
Speaker:your personal passions and redefine your sense
Speaker:of self. A few tips for coping
Speaker:are rediscover old hobbies, interests, or passions
Speaker:that you may have set aside while raising children. This can
Speaker:help redefine your identity beyond motherhood
Speaker:or explore new experiences, classes, or activities that
Speaker:excite you and allow personal growth.
Speaker:Maybe strengthen connections with friends, family who
Speaker:can relate to the empty nest experience. Now
Speaker:most in my circle have experienced this whole empty
Speaker:nest syndrome. So we're all at about the same stage of
Speaker:life. And then consider volunteering
Speaker:or pursuing a long held dream
Speaker:using your newfound time and energy.
Speaker:Now retirement is another major transition that can bring
Speaker:up mixed emotions. On the one hand,
Speaker:it's a chance to finally enjoy the freedom and
Speaker:leisure that you've worked so hard for. But
Speaker:then on the other, it can feel like a loss of
Speaker:purpose and routine. While I
Speaker:think I still have a few years before retirement, I've actually
Speaker:been reading up on how to prepare it excuse
Speaker:me, prepare for it, not just financially,
Speaker:but emotionally. And here's what I found.
Speaker:Start envisioning your ideal retirement life
Speaker:well before your last day of work. What hobbies,
Speaker:travels, or projects would you like to pursue?
Speaker:If you can, gradually adjust your
Speaker:routine and your schedule to simulate the lack of
Speaker:structure that comes with retirement.
Speaker:Explore ways to stay mentally and physically
Speaker:active, such as taking classes, volunteering, or
Speaker:joining social clubs. Reframe
Speaker:retirement as an opportunity of new beginnings and
Speaker:personal growth rather than an ending.
Speaker:Embrace the journey and stay open to the new possibilities that
Speaker:await you. I think,
Speaker:I've told you that you can go to my website and leave me a voice
Speaker:message. Right? I honestly love to
Speaker:hear from you. One listener recently left me
Speaker:a message with a question about empty nesting,
Speaker:and it was based on the empty nest episode
Speaker:number 19 that I did. Check it out if you haven't
Speaker:done so. But I thought this question was a good one
Speaker:to share in this, episode. And so her
Speaker:question is, I've
Speaker:been really struggling with anxiety since
Speaker:becoming an empty nester last year. My kids were
Speaker:my whole world, and now I'm not sure who
Speaker:I am without them at home. How can I cope with this
Speaker:identity shift? Well, you know what?
Speaker:Again, I think we've we all who are empty nesters
Speaker:experienced this in some way or another in that
Speaker:our kids, or in my case, kid, really was our
Speaker:whole world. When you think about it, every day
Speaker:for however many years, 18 years, 21 years, depending
Speaker:on what when they left, every day,
Speaker:our routines and our lives were centered
Speaker:around them and their needs from birth to
Speaker:when they left to go to college or got married or moved into their
Speaker:own apartment. So the empty nest transition
Speaker:can absolutely trigger an identity crisis,
Speaker:which is completely valid and normal to fill.
Speaker:So for so many years, your role as a mother was your
Speaker:primary focus and sense of purpose. It's natural to
Speaker:experience some questioning when that identity shifts.
Speaker:Trust me. I went through a range of emotions
Speaker:too. 1st, though, be gentle with
Speaker:yourself as you navigate this major life change.
Speaker:Allow yourself to fully feel and process
Speaker:the range of emotions, sadness, loneliness,
Speaker:pride at the job well done raising your kids.
Speaker:Don't resist or judge the feelings as
Speaker:you need them or you need
Speaker:to feel them in order to heal.
Speaker:Next, see this as an opportunity for
Speaker:rediscovery. Who were you before you
Speaker:became a mother? What hopes and
Speaker:dreams and interests did you once have that you
Speaker:can now explore. Spend some time
Speaker:journaling about your values, your passions, and
Speaker:your goals for this next chapter.
Speaker:It can also be helpful to fill that nurturing
Speaker:role in new ways, like volunteering,
Speaker:mentoring others, or nurturing personal creative projects
Speaker:that you're passionate about, Connecting with loved ones
Speaker:and expanding your social circle is also key.
Speaker:Most importantly, know that this
Speaker:identity shift, it's only temporary as you
Speaker:transition to your second act. With
Speaker:patience, self compassion, and openness to
Speaker:growth, you'll begin feeling grounded in your sense of self
Speaker:again. This, it can be
Speaker:a time of blossoming into an even
Speaker:more authentic version of yourself.
Speaker:Well, girl, there you have it. I hope this
Speaker:look into nurturing our mental health as women over
Speaker:50 has provided valuable
Speaker:insights and practical strategies that
Speaker:you can implement in your own life. At the end of the
Speaker:day, prioritizing our mental well-being
Speaker:isn't just important. It's essential for
Speaker:living our fullest, most vibrant lives during this
Speaker:remarkable state. As we wrap
Speaker:up, let's recap 5 top takeaways for
Speaker:boosting and protecting our mental health. Number
Speaker:1 would be reframe societal narratives
Speaker:about aging and embrace your hard earned
Speaker:wisdom. Number 2, cultivate a
Speaker:growth mindset and a belief in your ability to
Speaker:keep evolving. Number 3,
Speaker:challenge limiting beliefs and negative self talk
Speaker:4, build self confidence and
Speaker:silence that inner critic. And 5,
Speaker:see life changes as opportunities for self
Speaker:discovery and growth. These
Speaker:takeaways are, let's call them guidepost
Speaker:for nurturing your mental health during this stage of
Speaker:life. They aren't just words that are coming out of my mouth.
Speaker:They are powerful mindset shifts and habits that
Speaker:can transform how you feel, how you think,
Speaker:and and how you show up for yourself. So
Speaker:keep them close, put them into
Speaker:practice, and know that I'm
Speaker:cheering you on in this journey of growth, self
Speaker:actualization, and most importantly, mental
Speaker:well-being. Until next time, keep
Speaker:shining bright and take care of your
Speaker:beautiful mind. And remember, we are in this
Speaker:together.
Speaker:Thanks for hanging out with me today. I hope you're feeling
Speaker:inspired and ready to own your awesomeness. I love
Speaker:sharing this space with you, and if you loved today's episode,
Speaker:do me a favor, share it with a friend who could use some
Speaker:extra inspiration. A quick rating and review
Speaker:really helps too. Don't forget to subscribe so
Speaker:you never miss an episode. Let's keep this conversation
Speaker:going. Head over to pod.aging with
Speaker:graceinstyle.com to sign up for my newsletter.
Speaker:Until next time, keep shining with grace,
Speaker:style, and a whole lot of sass.