How can reflecting on our failures and taking small steps toward change be beneficial to our personal and professional growth?

I again have the pleasure of hosting the incredible Eileen McDargh, author of "Gifts From The Mountain" and renowned keynote speaker. Eileen returns to share how reflecting on what we've overlooked can lead to small yet impactful positive changes. She takes us her personal journey of reconnecting with her passion for playing the piano and the modest but steady steps she took towards this pursuit.

Together, we'll uncover the gems of her experiences, and I'll share my insights as a CPA and business owner who thrives on collaborating with other women for stellar achievements.

I talk with her about the trek that inspired Eileen to write her book – a demanding mountain adventure filled with peril, demanding choices, and invaluable lessons about lightening life's load and being aware of hidden hazards.

Eileen's moving reflection on a storm in the Rockies and the hopeful appearance of the moon thereafter reminds us of the necessity to pause, reframe challenges positively, and acknowledge every stride forward.

Inspiring Takeaways

• Pursue Lost Passions: Learn how Eileen’s rediscovery of piano playing symbolizes the small yet significant steps we can all take towards personal growth and fulfillment.
• Extracting Wisdom: Eileen and I talk about the art of turning everyday experiences into profound life lessons, discussing insights from Eileen's "Gifts from the Mountain".
• Cultivating Resilience: Discover how putting oneself in new situations, much like Eileen did on her mountain trek, can forge resilience and teach us to cherish the support of our loved ones in our journeys.

Inspiring Moments

08:20 Reflecting on writing and its power.

10:54 Reflect to learn, celebrate progress, gain insights.

13:13 Resilience involves seeking new experiences for growth.

19:13 Share wisdom through questions and personal reflection.

22:02 Activate audience, gain insight, embrace foresight, reframe.

24:54 Reflect on failures, initiate dialogues with vignettes.

27:47 Eileen shares insights on finding inspiration and success.

30:03 Twice-monthly blog, book orders, conversation starter guides.

Forward our podcast along to other Inspiring Women in your life.

This is THE podcast that advances women toward economic, social, and political achievement.

Hosted by Betty Collins, CPA, and Director at Brady Ware and Company. Betty also serves as the Committee Chair for Empowering Women, and Director of the Brady Ware Women’s Initiative.

Each episode is presented by Brady Ware and Company, committed to empowering women to go their distance in the workplace and at home.

For more information, Brady Ware and Company.

Remember to follow this podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.  And forward our podcast along to other Inspiring Women in your life.

Brady Ware and Company

Has anyone ever inspired you to create a more fulfilling and successful life for yourself? As a leader in your business and in your community, what are the questions that you ask yourself on a daily basis? What are the questions that keep you up at night? I am your host, Betty Collins. I am a CPA. I'm a business owner, and I partner with other women, other business owners who want to have remarkable results for themselves and for their business and their community. And I am here to help inspire you to take positive steps forward for a better life. So over the next 12 episodes and kind of this season, we're going to focus on lessons learned. We're going to Women to help you navigate maybe similar situations that you're in. And you don't have to go through what they've gone through. And I hope to challenge you that you have lessons learned in your journey that other women need to hear.

Never underestimate that part of your life and that story because it will have impact. In my opinion, we're obligated to share those life lessons. In my opinion, we have a responsibility to each other, woman to woman or Women to men. But I really believe what we've learned in our lessons over our journey are impactful, and they need to be part of how you give back and how you help others. So today is part 2 with Eileen McDargh, and she is just a gem. And and I can encourage you to go make sure you listen to part 1 because it kinda set the stage of who she is and what she's done, but I'll give you a simple recap. She's an author. She's a speaker.

She's a writer. She's a woman in power. She has had tremendous success. She lives on in the in the perfect state of California, which is always sunny and blue skies. And, and we met at a at the Brady Ware Women Conference. She was our keynote speaker. And, you know, that was in June, and and we're almost a year, back too. So I've known her a little bit a little while, and we've just kept in contact.

And she sent me her books, sent me the best lemon pound cake you could ever eat. It was warm, fresh, beautiful. I I ate the whole thing. We Ware actually, my husband and I enjoyed it. But we're talking about, this year in in right now in this season's lessons learned. And I just, of course, if you go to my first podcast in January of 24, you'll see where I talk about I ran for an election, and I lost. And I came in last, as my mother said. But I learned from that, and I decided to take the loss and make it into what did I learn, and what could I do to help others in it? Because it's not just politics.

It's not, you know, who won, who lost. It's it was the journey of of an of being in a campaign. It was the journey of seeing your neighborhood. It was the it was all the things. It was funny when I was out how many things. I've lived in gay in in my community of Gahanna, Ohio for 22, 23 years, and there were so many things I didn't know about it. And so many so that was one of the great things about about the campaign. So today, we're gonna talk about something that I really I really love this book.

I could read it over and over. It's called Gifts From The Mountain. And, Eileen, you wrote this book, and we're gonna talk about in fact, we're gonna make sure that we give some free books away for anyone who emails the podcast. The podcast should have a link of where to find this, and it's got some great questions. It's a great book to do in your office too because there's so many lessons from this book. We're gonna talk a little bit more about why she wrote it and then what she got out of it. So first of all, Eileen, welcome to part 2. I'm so glad that you're back and that you're doing this, giving us of your time today.

My audience is all over the country. Actually, we're in about 20 states, so we have Ware variety of people that listen to this. So, hopefully, they will love and learn from gifts from the mountain. And one of the things that, we talk we talk about in part 1 and we'll still probably talk to is what is hidden in plain view? Man, I hope you write that down because what a thing to constantly be thinking. What's hidden? What is right in front of me that I'm not seeing? Where is it? So we're gonna talk about, what prompted you to write the book? What was the lesson learned or the mistake as you call it? What prompted you to do this? Let's talk the story because this was really something I loved.

Well, you know, if if they listen to your first one, you know, we talk about the fact that I Ware, my husband and I were on this backpacking trek that was the hardest thing I've ever done. We got lost. We almost ran out of water. At one point in time, Betty, we were up high and there's a snow it's a snow field, so you couldn't see even if there was a trail, switchbacks, whatever. It was just solid snow. And in this solid snow, there was a sheer drop down to a frozen lake. So you have to walk across the snow field without it, and down there is the frozen frozen lake. And you have to you just stamp, you know, and you tilt in to the to the mountain.

And all I could see is sliding down with a backpack on. It it's a frozen lake, and you're in the middle of nowhere. And I I heard this noise, and I turned around. Bill had Collins. And I'm hollering, ditch the pack. Ditch the pack. Well, thank goodness he didn't try to put it on, but what he did is he uncoiled a rope. He put it on the backpack, and then he drug drags, drugs.

He pulled it. He pulled it behind him. And, so that was that was the lesson right Ware, that sometimes you don't Ware to pick up the heavy stuff. You need to find another way if you want to take it with you. For me, I would have left it. And then we got to this place where there was an ice ledge, and you had to go under the ice ledge on rocks to get down to what would be a valley getting out of the snow field. And, so Bill got in first, and he he stopped long legs. I have short legs, and I barely could get on the rocks to go under the ledge.

And as I'm under the ledge, Betty, I hear

Yeah.

I got under the ledge and out and I turned around. Here was this crack going through this ice ledge. I swear had I been there 3 more minutes, that ice ledge was gonna go. And that that was the point I said, okay. I either have to figure out why the heck I'm doing this, what are the lessons here, or I'm gonna kill this guy. You know? Because, you know, I I have no idea. You know, he can't find his way in a in a city street, but he can find his way around the mountains. So that's really what that's really what prompted me to do this, was the reason why I'm doing this, and wonder what I could learn.

Ware, and then you got Women, and you survived, and you made it, and you're still married after, what,

44 years.

And so when you started writing and started putting this all in thought Mhmm. What were the things that were kinda hidden in plain view? Because now you can step back and hindsight's easy. Right? Ware we're to go in hindsight's easy. I did this. I almost fell down the valley. I you know, we had to dump a pack. Why do we have all this trash? What are we carrying everything around for? I mean, you had all these left. What what did you see now? How do I say this? Because our theme is about, you know, it was hidden in plain view when you were on that mountain.

I mean, obviously, you chose to start taking notes about the daily trek. Mhmm. So you were seeing things as it was happening in real time. Mhmm. That's

so interesting. You know, when you come back, because all I would have is like a sentence. So I'm going through this this little notebook that I have, and when you reflect on it, I find that there is great power in taking notions in your head and putting them on paper. I mean, that's why we keep gratitude journals. It's one thing to feel grateful in your head. When I write it and I go back and look at it, it's very different. And so it was in the process of writing, putting words to the single sentence, that I would relive the event and then say what was what was the lesson. I think one of the pieces that's in Ware, I haven't picked up that book in a while, I probably should have it in front of me right now, Ware, we were, again, we're in we are in the Rockies.

We're in the mammoth outside of Mammoth Mountain going up up up up up, and we got as high as Betty we were about as high as 13,000 feet. And Bill was going to go around there's an upper Ware, so he was gonna go around and try to fish. And we have something called a tube tent, and a tube tent is I don't even know if they even use them anymore. Imagine this this heavy piece of plastic that is open on either end, and you string a rope through it like when you were a kid and you used to use a sheet and try to pretend you had a tent.

Yeah.

Well, this it's a tube, and you string this rope, and that's it. We never carried a tent until much later. So I'm in this sitting in this tube tent, and all of a sudden, there is this horrific thunder and lightning storm. Now I'm at the top of a mountain, and there's lightning and there's thunder, and now there's hail. Oh my gosh. The hail is coming down, and and and I'm being hit on the head in this thing with hail. And and then when it was over, the moon came out, and Bill kept walking. And my lesson is I look went back and looked at that was even when it looks bad, at the end, the moon still comes out.

So when I would relive these things sitting in my office, the, oh, yeah. There's Ware. There's more than just that. So it was in reliving those things and writing about them that the lesson came.

Right. And, you know, as as I'm talking to this audience, not all of us are authors, not all of us are speakers, not all of us maybe have those insights. But I will tell you the what you're saying to the audience when you're trying to help people learn their lessons or see what's hidden in plain view is you gotta take time to reflect. Reflect in the way you do. Is it writing it? Is it bullet points? Is it what? And and, you know, and and because you will see things you didn't see, you will learn from them and went, wow. Here's one of the things I I marked this as my favorite part of the book. And you say, turn around, celebrate how far you've come. Step after step, past the manzanita bushes and up through the aspen grove, higher and higher.

And the next thought is to find camp and figure out what's for dinner. I'm tired. I'm so tired, Betty, man, am I proud. We look at the map. We look at the distance. How much elevation in that difficult boulder field Ware ought to we made it though tonight to sleep. So how often would do we fail to stop and celebrate how far we've Women? Turn around and celebrate. PS, if you've forgotten how far you've come, ask your mother.

So so when, you know, when you're in a season right now where you're trying to figure out you're in the mountain. You the lightning is striking. You haven't gotten to the moon shining beautifully, you know, and the darkness cannot be overcome. Right? Because that light's there. Man, sometimes you just gotta be figure out how you reflect on that moment. Don't miss that moment because something's in it. And it's hard when you're on the mountain, and it's cold and it's hailing. Just

That's true.

It is. It's true. But but reflection's a really big part of of learning lessons. Reflection's a really big part of seeing what's hidden in plain sight.

Oh, that that's so wise. And in fact, when you started this, and you said, you know, you you chose, it was a choice, to to run for an election. There are so many lessons in that as you step back and say, what did I learn? And sometimes the lesson is, I'm never gonna do that again. That's a lesson. Yes. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not gonna do that one again, but I tried it. In fact, as you know, I also speak about resiliency.

And energy and reflection is really part of being resilient. And sometimes I think to be resilient is to put ourselves in situations where we normally would go and then say, oh, what did I learn? So actually since the pandemic, so for the last 3 years, every month I must do things I have never done before. Now it could be as crazy as eating a raw oyster, It could be taking a Pilates class, which I've never done before. It could be going a different direction when, when I'm driving, but and I I write it down, Betty. At the end of each month, I write down what have I never what have I never done before, or or it's been so long I need to try it again. So I think putting ourselves in places so that we can have that experience mentally, emotionally, physically, whatever it is. I've never done this before. Let me try this.

And once I've tried it, I never have to eat a raw oyster again. But

Yeah. I'll pass on the oyster. I already know that I don't like it, but I'll try something else that's different. So so, really, when you know, what was great about reading this book, but but the election, when you're looking at these lessons learned, you're trying to see, you know, where was I? I learned from the things that I would have least expected to learn from. So one of the things I talk about is when we're cleaning out the garage after the election, And my husband, was so sick of the amount of signs and stuff people dropped up at our house because we would we would campaign together. And cleaning. And there was still a box of 100 signs there. And he said I said, where are the signs? And he said, I put them in the crawl space.

And I and he was very emotional. I said, well, why would you do that? And he said, because we don't know the next time if the answer is yes or no. Woah. Now my husband is was not into this election at the beginning. Trust me. And but I the insight I learned from him through this time And Ware I when I did take time to reflect and write things down, it was the it was the thing I didn't expect to learn from. You know? Even with my mom going, I I looked up the election results. I saw you last.

You're not used to that, let alone coming or you've lost, and and you're not used to coming in last. You know? But that was helpful for me to go embrace the loss. It's okay. So it was the little things that I've learned from the most unexpected places. Sometimes I think we look at it. I gotta learn from a mentor, or I've gotta learn from a big deal, or it's gotta be my boss, or somebody who's really loud and whatever, when no, it's it's the insight, just like the gifts from the mountains. I mean, you would have probably never visioned yourself on a mountain lost like that, let alone I'm gonna take notebook paper out and write my thoughts down as it's all happening. You know what's nice

to me? When you talk about your husband and he put it away in the crawl space

Mhmm.

What he was also physically and emotionally telling you is I believe in you, Betty. Yeah. And I will support you. You wanna do that again? We'll do it

again. He said you're you're not answering yes, and you're not answering no.

I think that's really that's pretty darn helpful because he was not into this.

No. It was at first, are you sure you wanna do this? Do you have the time? Do you wanna put yourself out there? It's not gonna be easy. All those things. But it was that hidden. It was it was those things that I didn't see until I started reflecting and started going, hey, What did I learn? And what's the lesson? And how can I do this? And so when I even talk about losing the election, hey. You gotta have the right support and the right people. But it's it's you find sometimes things and learn from the stuff you didn't expect. I'm sure that's how it was when you were on that mountain.

I couldn't imagine taking a notebook out and start writing my thoughts

on it. And and the way was a great thing. It was a little

thing. I know. But but when you look at just the easy little things you wrote, it was so impactful.

So Well, remember, I didn't, you know, I would write down like one sentence if that and then come back and and reflect on it. And how can I make it richer, you know, come alive, you know, all those kinds of things? Because, the book what I wanted the book to do was to allow people who have no experience of this and have no inclination. I am not back back and no matter what that that I could take a common theme and people get, oh, yeah. Mhmm. Where is my wild onion? What can I add spice to my life right now?

And people Why do I have to dig up onions to eat in ramen noodles? That would be my question. No. We all have different, you know, takes from it, but it was it was very cool. So but how can we activate, looking for insights that are hidden in plain view? Like, how do you do that? You know, how do you activate that?

You would ask yourself, okay. So I'm thinking, okay. Here I'm sitting in Southern California in my office, and I am trying to figure right now, Betty, I consider myself a modern elder. And by a modern elder that means there's more behind me than in front of me. Mhmm. And when you are a modern elder, that's not senior. That's not old. A modern elder is someone who because of their life's experience, and you're there too, you have wisdom to share.

It's not necessarily lessons to learn, but you have wisdom to share. And how do you share that wisdom? So one of the things that I think helps us is to pose a question for yourself. And so the question would be I'll give you a question for me right now. The question is, where is it that I can find the greatest joy and contribution? Eileen, where do you want to do that? And so I'm looking, and I see things. I'm beginning to take notes because there are things that will say, You know what? I didn't think about this. The other day, we, we went to this funky brew pub where these 2 guys were playing, and it was called Rust and Dust. Okay. It tells the age of them, Rust and Dust.

And, Bill and I were the only 2 people who danced. I mean, this is music from my era. I mean, we're we're you know? And I love to dance. You put music on and hidden in plain view when we when the evening was over, and over is like 8:30.

That's what elders do. Yeah. Elder modern elder does that. I'm with that.

That's so I thought music is really important in my life, and I don't give myself credit for that. What is it that I can do that can provide some kind of joy or contribution that has to do with music and movement? Mhmm. And so the next time we went to this place we've been there now three times I'm surprised that the people who come up and say, Ware you gonna dance again? You know. Why Ware.

Of course we are.

And, you know, one of these guys was he he didn't move much. He was kinda old. I said, if you just sit there, you can move the top part of your Brady, and you can dance with me. He got the biggest grin on his face, and I thought, you know, contributions don't have to be, you know, I I just, you know, save the world, you know, or I develop the new cure for long term COVID or whatever it is. Sometimes it is it's finding those things where I pose a question, and then you look. You should pay attention.

So reactivate is step back, look around, look in your surroundings, and use that wisdom and make it go. And you'll see things that are hidden in plain sight. Does that wrap it up well? Does that make

a difference? Great. In fact, I call that the it's the railroad it's the railroad sign. You stop, you look, you listen.

Mhmm.

Stop, You look. You listen. Stop what you're doing. Look around. Listen before you move forward. Stop.

So with that audience, railroad, stop, look, and listen, you're gonna activate, and you're gonna see insight. And then you're gonna have foresight. And you owe it to your world to make it go. Yeah. That's So as we talk about things that are hidden in plain view, you know, kind of with part 1 and part 2 of this. I I wanna recap a little bit, but, you know, we find that we have mistakes. Let's call them, you know, some lessons we had to learn. And we and we really to to make that really worth our time and grow, we've got to reframe it.

We've got to sit and go, let's reframe this. Let's rethink this. Mhmm. And then we've got to take those, and and we have to help those around us with with what those lessons are with that reframing because and then you've gotta help people get through that negativity spiral. Like I say, if you're on the mountain happy to dig onions, you're looking at a spice. I'm looking at digging onions. So there's a point where you have to have your mindset changed. And then you you definitely chose to not be negative about the situation.

You started writing down thoughts, and you turned them into an amazing book. And it's a really, really cool book. I hope reading some of the reading something really kind of inspired you to to get this book because you're it it's just really it's a daily thing you could do. Just read 1 page a day, and you'd be inspired.

You know what? I'm so glad you said that because lessons aren't volumes. One thing, just one thing, like, downhill is more dangerous than uphill. Ware that I'm being cocky about what I do and it's dangerous, or pack out your garbage, you know. Okay, that's the lesson. You know, what is it this Right. Where they what's some of the garbage, you know, physical garbage? We had gone down to a lot of physical garbage, except if it's signs and you put them in a crawl space.

That's right. That's not physical. That's right. But but, like, here's one that's really good too. Sometimes you have to get your feet wet. Talk a little bit about that. It says, there it is. No doubt about it.

You can see the trail on the other side of the rapidly moving creek. You walk up and down the the bank searching for fallen logs to straddle to the through the water. You're looking for stepping stones. They're not there. Nothing. If you wanna continue on that path you've chosen, it means wading across the cold stream fed by the snow melt. Sometimes you have to get your feet wet and life give you choices. You can stay on one side and keep your feet dry, or you can plunge for what you want.

What's worse, to error for the things you did or to error for the things you failed to do? I mean, I I could just go on hours with you on these short little and that's the daily read, and then it gives you a lot to think about.

Well, and and so those things that we failed to do, to me that has always been something that strikes my heart then what did I do? But what did I fail to do? I said, no. I won't do this. The the the that's if you if you're using this book with a team and you use these little vignettes as a way of starting conversation, I call them fire starter guides. That's what I'm that's what I'm gonna send to you, by the way. They're fire starter guides. And if you use that, what is it that we have failed to do where we said, no. No. No.

That's too risky. We can't do that.

Right. I'm staying warm and dry, but I'm not gonna get home.

Well, there you go.

I'm not gonna get you to the goal.

Yeah. So so the fail to do is sometimes it's the small steps. We don't have to do the whole thing. But how is it that I can take small, small strides? So when I said that music I realize is is something I need in my life. I have a piano sitting in my house, Betty, that is 50 years old. When I was a little kid, I took piano lessons. My mom was a consummate pianist, perfect pitch, could something was playing on the stereo. She could sit and find a word, and she play along with it, and I don't mean just one finger.

I mean, she's up and down that piano keys, and No. She was the last one to touch this piano, and she died 12 years ago. I haven't touched it. And I have, coming on Wednesday, I have a piano tuner coming. The first one that came said it's too old. It's not worth fixing. I'm not willing to settle for that yet. I have another one coming.

I have worked on the wood of that little spinet because it hits the sun and it's not but I'm gonna take small steps. I actually bought a CD on how to play the piano because I've forgotten so much. But I'll start small. I'll start small. You know, and maybe it's not that, and maybe it's something else, but I'm gonna I'm gonna get my feet wet.

There you go. Well, gifts from the mountain, things that are hidden in plain view, all can apply to the lessons we need to learn. Lessons we have learned, lessons that others need to learn. And let's not keep it to ourselves. Let's let's inspire. By doing that, we're we're gonna take some what I call, we're gonna activate and think and and make sure that we put it on paper. You don't have to write a beautiful book with with all kinds of of art that's just gorgeous to to do the things that Eileen is talking about. Reframing, reflecting, having insight so you can have foresight.

And so today, I'm so thrilled that you're Ware, and I would like for you to give us where we can find you, where we can find your book, and we will have Eileen's context of to get to these links that can help you with these questions and, what you just called them something. They're not questions, but they're questions that you can sit around and ask and maybe do with your team. But I can't emphasize enough. Borrow what she she's done by take by learning through what she learned. Right? And that's what this whole series is about, learning from other Women, and she has done that by writing a book several books and just and everything she does, she talks about these type of things. So gifts from the mountain, hid hidden in plain view. Eileen, I want you to wrap it up. What would you like my audience to hear one last thing you have to say, and then let's talk about where we can find you.

Gosh. Darn. One last thing I have

One last thing.

Actually I'm gonna quote Howard Zinn, a philosopher, because I love this thing. He said, To have hope, one does not need certainty, only possibility. And the reason I like that is I think there's much that's going on in the world right now that feels hopeless. I don't wanna get into a place of being hopeless. What is possible? And it might be small things, like smiling at the person down the street, who might be very different than you are. I don't Ware. Stuff. But to have hope, one does not need certainty, only possibility.

And there's much that we as women can do, should do, choose to do, that's possible that can create a world that works for all of us.

Here we go. And where can we find you?

Well, let's see. I'm sitting and sitting no.

I'm at Pennsylvania. California. Look at the beach.

I have 2 little bedrooms. I have a sofa. Google me. You can come to my website. Betty, I know you have got my name up there on the podcast. Just www.eileenmcdargh.com. You can sign up for my esign. I do a monthly esign.

I do a twice a month blog that you can also Betty, and by the way on the eSigns you can go back and read past issues the way my web guy has set it up. You can order the books there, and you can also get them through through Amazon. And gifts of the mountain is through Amazon as well as through me, as well as through Vera Kohler, my publisher. And if you choose to do gifts of the mountain and you choose to do it through my website, scroll down, and you will see what I call our conversation fire starter guides. Because when is a book more than a book? When it starts a conversation. So I wrote a series of guides, one for leaders, one for coaches, one for community members. And every one of the lessons in the book, there is there's 3 little questions, reflective questions, to take that image, that notion, that idea further. And just download them.

They're free. Just download them. Then they're there for you for the taking.

So today, another lesson learned hidden in plain view. So if you're on a mountain lost with your husband in the middle of nowhere, get a notebook out and start taking some notes. And then when you do survive and you get back and you get through it, reflect on it and share with others. That's lessons learned, and thank you for joining us today. This is Betty Collins with Inspiring Women. More about Inspiring Women can be found on bradyware.com, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Thank you for listening.