(at The Cat’s Meow)
APOLLO
I might get a refill.
JUDE
I can make it for you!
VAL
You are on medical leave.
JUDE
(grumpily) You’re not in charge of me.
ESTEE
They kind of are.
APOLLO
They super are.
JUDE
Is no one here on my side!?
APOLLO
Not when your side involves you potentially hurting yourself in an attempt to make me some tea.
JUDE
How would I hurt myself making tea?
APOLLO
You’d find a way.
JUDE
(laughing) Hey!
NEVAEH
‘Scuse me, Sydney, hot tea coming through.
SYDNEY
Ooh, for me?
NEVAEH
No, for Apollo.
SYDNEY
Ableism strikes again.
NEVAEH
You’re so dramatic. 🙄
PATRICK
Ableism is a serious problem in today’s society, Nevaeh. Disabled people are treated as second-class citizens.
SYDNEY
God, this guy rocks.
NEVAEH
You’re perfect for each other.
SYDNEY
(flustered) Wha- Hey! That’s not-
PATRICK
You’re right, we would make the perfect disability advocacy team!
SYDNEY
(fondly) God, he’s so stupid.
PATRICK
Huh?
SYDNEY
Nothing. You didn’t hear anything.
PATRICK
Oh, okay!
MARIANGEL
Hey, Nevaeh, can I have another pepsi-coffee, please?
SYDNEY
And I’ll take some chamomile tea.
ESTEE
Just a water for me!
NEVAEH
Are any of you assholes actually going to pay?
ESTEE
For water? 🥺
NEVAEH
Not you.
VAL
(sigh) I’ll cover it.
(Sydney and Mariangel cheer)
MARIANGEL
So, how’s the campaign prep going?
VAL
Nevaeh? You want to answer that?
NEVAEH
It’s going well! Val is helping me with the specifics, making sure I have all the documentation I need to run for governor.
MARIANGEL
How does all that work with a criminal record-
SYDNEY
You mean the one she doesn’t have?
VAL
It’s part of the revised treaty deal.
MARIANGEL
Which you’ve already signed, right?
VAL
Yes, all of us have.
ESTEE
The city’s going to be a lot more peaceful now.
NEVAEH
I wouldn’t count on it. New villains are sure to rise up, and I haven’t had contact with Absolute Zero for days.
APOLLO
Jude? You okay?
JUDE
Huh? Oh, yeah.
APOLLO
(gently) Are you sure?
JUDE
Yeah. I just… I’m happy. I’m really, really grateful to have all of you in my life.
SYDNEY
Wow, that’s gay.
MARIANGEL
Hush!
JUDE
(laughs) Yeah, yeah. It just… It feels like a dream, almost. Like, I’m dating my long-time crush and he’s literally renouncing villainy for me. Most of the major villains in my city are agreeing to either step down or switch sides. All of my friends are safe and happy, and I get to be here with them. It feels…
APOLLO
(softly) Good?
JUDE
Yeah. Good.
MARIANGEL
D’awww.
ESTEE
That’s very sweet, Jude.
NEVAEH
You’re right, it’s… nice. It’s new, but it’s nice.
JUDE
I think you’ll make a great governor.
APOLLO
Politics is just villainy with extra steps.
JUDE
Of course you would say that.
APOLLO
I call it like I see it.
JUDE
You should come over tonight.
SYDNEY
(spit-takes) Right in front of my tea!?
JUDE
Not like that! I just- Lucy misses you. And I want to spend time with you. And my house is boring and empty and lonely, and I’m not allowed to work or patrol, so-
APOLLO
I’ll come over, love. It would be my pleasure.
JUDE
Thanks, Apollo.
APOLLO
Anything for Lucy.
JUDE
(laughs) Right, of course.
ESTEE
You two are cute together. I wouldn’t have pegged you as a match before, but… looking back? It was bashert. You’re meant for each other.
APOLLO
I like to think so.
VAL
Anyway, I should probably get back to the tower. Damage-control over the gala is still ongoing.
APOLLO
Sorry.
VAL
We’ve already sorted that part out, Apollo. You’re making up for it by becoming a hero, for real this time. And working without pay for the first few months.
APOLLO
Nevaeh recently came into 10,000 dollars anyway.
VAL
(annoyed) I am aware.
NEVAEH
Who said I was paying your share of rent?
APOLLO
I don’t have a share of rent, dumbass.
NEVAEH
(fake threatening) Maybe you should.
APOLLO
Don’t make me remind you why I shouldn’t. Jude gifted me a book titled 1,001 Cat Facts yesterday.
NEVAEH
I take it back. You don’t have to pay rent.
APOLLO
That’s what I thought.
MARIANGEL
Oh, to have siblings!
NEVAEH
Oh, to be an only child.
VAL
(chuckles) Goodbye, everyone. Thank you for the drinks, Nevaeh.
NEVAEH
Anytime.
(muffled explosion)
REPORTER
(muffled) This just in, an up-and-coming villain is attacking a line of shops uptown, they seem to be headed for The Cat’s Meow next- Where are the heroes!?
APOLLO
No rest for the wicked.
NEVAEH
Plenty of rest for you and Jude, actually. Let us handle this.
APOLLO
Being hurt sucks.
JUDE
At least we’re hurt together! Wanna hide out in the back room while they fight?
APOLLO
Yeah, let’s go.
(fight sounds kick up and then fade out as Apollo and Jude walk away into the employee room)
APOLLO
…Thanks for fake dating me, Jude. And then real-dating me. Um. It- I… like it. A lot. Being with you, that is.
JUDE
I like it a lot, too, Apollo. I love you, you know?
APOLLO
Oh, I know. You know I love you, too?
JUDE
Of course I do.
NEVAEH
(muffled) AND DON’T COME BACK!
APOLLO
Sounds like they figured things out.
JUDE
Heh, yeah. Ready to face the world again?
APOLLO
With you? Always.
THE END.
