Blabbering: Babies!

Episode 7 - Baby, Boobs & Brutal Truths

Hold on tight, Blabber fans! Episode 7 is here to tickle your funny bone with a week full of baby-centric hilarity and heartwarming moments! Seven weeks in and the culinary highlight? A delectable vegan fake chicken tikka masala, a tasteful twist to our meal routine.

🌟 Baby Breath Banter and Chore Conundrums

In this episode, we're all about the little things, like Tilly's surprising fondness for the baby's sweet breath. Plus, we tackle the chaotic world of chore management with a newborn. How do two frazzled parents handle half the time they used to have? Join us for laughter and learning as we attempt to decode a functional system.

💪 Gym Giggles: Back in Action

We’re sharing the ups and downs of post-pregnancy fitness. Tune in for stories about returning to the gym, complete with awkward moments and unexpected joys. It's a mix of comedy and camaraderie that every new mom can relate to.

🤱 Baby Group Chronicles: Raw and Real

Dive deep into the unfiltered side of baby groups. From open discussions about piles to half the moms struggling with latches and the other half battling explosive diapers, it's an honest look at the realities of parenthood, no holds barred.

💩 Scat Chat - The Turmeric Turd Incident

Get ready for a tale that's hilariously horrifying! We recount a diaper disaster that turns into a turmeric-colored mess. Picture being splattered in baby poo and resorting to a hasty clean-up with just a baby wipe before a brief, restless nap. It’s a story that will have you both cringing and chuckling.

This week's episode is a rollercoaster ride of parenting highs and lows, filled with laughter, love, and a little bit of mess. We can't wait to hear your thoughts, so keep those ratings and comments coming! 🌟😂👶🍲

Ooh,

2

Dan 1: Welcome to week

3

seven.

4

Tilly: Yeah, seven.

5

Dan 1: Week seven.

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Yeah.

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I'm looking

8

forward to getting to the point

where we stop doing the baby's age

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in weeks and move on to months.

10

Tilly: up.

11

What?

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I

13

Dan 1: start doing fractional

years and it could be obnoxious.

14

What we got for, what

we got for lunch today.

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What

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Tilly: chicken tikka masala, chicken.

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Dan 1: we got into the chicken when

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Tilly: Eat curious.

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Shout out.

20

Woop woop.

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And we've got it with brown rice

because we're healthy, aren't

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Dan 1: Alfie!

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Tilly: Healthy!

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And also whole grains

help me make more milk.

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She is

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Dan 1: factory going.

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Tilly: a hungry girl.

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Here you go, here you go.

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She wants to guzzle it down.

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Dan 1: Guzzle, guzzle, guzzle.

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Oh, I absolutely fucking hate

it when I get all my foods

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like, non mixed and they're

33

Tilly: off.

34

Piss

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Dan 1: to the dog, not to me.

36

And they're meant to be things

that, you know, you mix.

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Because I, you know, I either try

and fit them all on a fork and

38

shove them all in my mouth, and

then I can't get them all in there,

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Tilly: I can't get

40

Dan 1: or I have to mix all my food,

and mixing food doesn't look great

41

when you're like out at a restaurant or

42

Tilly: my collection is like, I can't

express it So, it's Do you run a

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Dan 1: I would if I didn't think

I could get it all on a fork.

44

The way

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a kosh pie is snacked,

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Tilly: a

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Dan 1: it's easy to just

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Tilly: So it's easy

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to just Yeah.

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dissect it.

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Dan 1: If

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it was like, for whatever reason,

decomposed, what's the word?

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Deconstructed.

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Decomposed.

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Tilly: I know.

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Dan 1: If it was deconstructed, I

would, yeah, I'd probably mash it.

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Tilly: I like to vary the different,

like, levels of things I've got,

58

the different kinds of things.

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Maybe sometimes I want more rice

and a little bit of sauce, sometimes

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I want It really, saucy and you

know, maybe just pure sauce.

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Dan 1: Mmm.

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Tilly: just pure

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Dan 1: Nah.

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Nah.

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Tilly: palate.

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Nah.

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Nah.

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Okay.

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Well, it's

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Dan 1: In for a penny,

in for a pound, innit?

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I trust, I trust the chef's

got the ratios right.

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You know, back it.

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Tilly: the sauce.

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Mm hmm.

75

Well,

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Dan 1: Have you?

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Tilly: on What you like,

doesn't it, really?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Dan 1: Mm hmm.

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I

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Tilly: Yeah.

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We've

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Dan 1: mean, you've got

it right, so that's good.

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Can mash

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Tilly: while, so I'm not

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Dan 1: Sometimes I'll just

mash parts and not all.

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Tilly: in the

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Dan 1: But I won't ever.

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If I know something's

meant to be combined,

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I will mix it.

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I find it irritating to try and like,

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Tilly: I will

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admit, I find it an irritation.

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Trying to get two people to

come up to the door first.

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I

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Dan 1: I was laughing at you

because you said, I like, I even

102

like the smell of her breath.

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Tilly: I do, I think she's

got really nice breath.

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You don't get bad breath from

your baby, I don't think.

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Unless, maybe, when you're poorly.

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Dan 1: Maybe.

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Yeah.

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Tilly: But, yeah, she always smells,

it's almost a bit sweet, her breath.

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It's nice.

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Yeah, breathe on me.

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Dan 1: I won't lie, I haven't

tried to smell her breath.

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So I wouldn't be able

to tell you whether I

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Tilly: help her.

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Do

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Dan 1: do or don't like her breath.

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Tilly: you will.

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Yeah, now, I'll have

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Dan 1: Yeah, now

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I'll have a little smell and

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be able to tell you, is it for me or not.

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Tilly: I think you'll like it.

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If you like her head and stuff,

I think you'll like her breasts.

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Hmm?

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I don't think so.

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Well, I guess we'll talk

about this next week, then.

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So, my

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Dan 1: Well, I guess what's

happened this week then.

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So,

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my work's been pretty manic.

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Tilly: I've been a joiner.

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I've been a

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Dan 1: you've been going to different

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Tilly: one group.

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Dan 1: Been enjoying it.

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And,

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Tilly: Had both our six week check ups.

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Yep.

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Doctor's visit,

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Dan 1: There's something else.

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I've had lots of family

and friends around as well.

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Tilly: Yep.

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Met your great grandparents.

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Yeah,

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Dan 1: Yeah.

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Tilly: Which was nice, wasn't it?

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They're well excited to meet her.

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They

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But yeah, back to, we had our six

week checks, the doctor and the

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health visitor, all gravy, she's

put on weight, still not massively

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heavy, she's still just below

average, which is very long.

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Dan 1: yeah, I'm very

excited, very excited.

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Because

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Tilly: but Yeah, all went well.

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Ruth got signed off, she

said I can get back to gym.

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Cheers.

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I'm very excited.

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I'm

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Dan 1: My

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Tilly: that's been pelvic floor,

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Dan 1: my first pelvic floor,

I can't activate my pelvic

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floor, There was a challenge

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Tilly: how to activate my pelvic floor.

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Because obviously it's just

short pieces and your abs

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aren't quite back together yet.

165

So we've

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Dan 1: telepathic, so,

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Tilly: figured out how

to engage them again.

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So it doesn't really

look like I'm doing much.

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I'm sort of doing lots

of that breath work.

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Dan 1: about breast work, and then

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not breaking

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Tilly: and then leaving.

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Dan 1: tomorrow.

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Tilly: So I'm not breaking a

sweat, but coming tomorrow.

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I'm actually going to start

shifting some weights.

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Which I'm really looking forward to.

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But I've really enjoyed it, just

getting out first thing in the morning,

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and spending that hour in the gym.

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by myself, for myself.

180

Yeah,

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this

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Dan 1: is something that we need to speak

about and something that we definitely

183

should have done and haven't done and

maybe we'll try and do is this element

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of, you know, previously there was stuff

that I should have done that I didn't

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do that I could get away with not doing

in terms of chores and stuff like that.

186

Tilly: Yeah.

187

Dan 1: Now, I feel like the list is just

kind of unsurmountable in that the list is

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definitely longer than the time that

I've got, because when you actually

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consider all the sort of stuff like

researching how to make sure that she's

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developing

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and growing and, you know, all these

sorts of factors while also trying to

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do all the sort of chores to keep the

place clean, tidy and helpful for you.

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And then also do my work, which currently

is, you know, longer than usual.

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And,

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then also just actually

have some R& R for me.

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just, you know, if I was to

actually try and do it all, it would

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definitely be 30 hours and that's

obviously not gonna work in a day.

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And so It's kind of having that

conversation between the two of

199

you of, of coming to the table

and saying, this is my prioritized

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list of needs, wants, and likes.

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Tilly: Yeah.

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This is your prioritised

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Dan 1: list.

204

Now let's look at each other's

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agree on a

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Tilly: on a fine list.

207

find

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Dan 1: things are on the sheet that

you're meant to do that you may be

209

are only in your life, but there,

you know, they would be in my one.

210

So we can come

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Tilly: up with a joint

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Dan 1: list.

213

Tilly: Yeah.

214

and that's it.

215

Dan 1: do.

216

Cause I guess you've

kind of done it with Jim.

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You said Jim is incredibly important.

218

I need to get to the gym.

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I want to go every morning.

220

Tilly: That's sort of my one

thing I built into each day.

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Dan 1: And so that's, that's resulted

in me kind of adapting my day.

222

So that, you know, you'll wake up

cause I I'm sleeping during the morning

223

because you sleep evening as it were.

224

Cause we're still doing a sort of

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Tilly: I think this all come become

easy when we stop doing that.

226

I think, you know, we're gonna

try out this coming weekend.

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Dan 1: Yeah.

228

Well, yeah, cause we weren't

12 hours of sleep window.

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Cause currently

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you sleep eight till two.

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And then I sleep kind of like

effectively three till eight.

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Cause

233

Tilly: means I could like go zoom earlier.

234

Yeah.

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So I could leave the gym at six.

236

Yeah.

237

And that means I'm back by half seven.

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Dan 1: Because currently you're waking up

at like seven or half six, kind of give

239

me baby and then be, be off to the gym.

240

And then I have to kind of come

down, get fatty ready for a walk,

241

go out, come and walk with him.

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And I guess I need to work out

kind of what things are my things

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and what things are our things.

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And also I had a really

good conversation with.

245

One of my colleagues from work, just

kind of discussing the fact that

246

Tilly: I might sit around the area

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Dan 1: that you just kind

of have to suffer through it

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and he sort of discussed the fact

that no, you've got, it's not

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going to be sunshine and roses,

250

Tilly: time all the

251

Dan 1: all the time,

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Tilly: need

253

to find a thing,

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some things

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Dan 1: that you do just for you that

you'll enjoy, but also some things

256

that you're going to do with baby, just

you and baby that you enjoy together.

257

Tilly: And

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Dan 1: he was sort of saying that

for him it used to be sometimes

259

when his baby was a

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Tilly: go

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to the pool and You know, he's kidding,

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Dan 1: scream at him the whole hour.

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Tilly: is like, I'm going to enjoy this

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Dan 1: matter what.

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Tilly: And just to make it, you know,

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Dan 1: have his dragon

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Tilly: to the pool,

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Dan 1: him in.

269

He wants him in the water, it's fine,

but like 20 minutes or whatever, and

270

it's those sorts of

things I need to find out.

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Tilly: And I guess I need to work out

what's the thing that I do with her.

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Dan 1: Yeah, so I think, yeah, we need to,

we need to try and talk about that list.

273

And that list is going to include

things not just what you want to do,

274

but also what is currently on your list.

275

And things like, for example,

hoovering was my job, purposely

276

bought a robot vacuum, because I

knew I wasn't going to do it enough.

277

And I then need to have the

discipline to make sure that I

278

So it does actually do the

279

job,

280

job

281

Tilly: Which is

282

Dan 1: something that I haven't

been doing and stuff like that.

283

So,

284

sort of a realignment chores and I

think, and then put it on your whiteboard

285

one like you've you've

done like, and, you know,

286

have split out who's like

287

recurring not, et cetera.

288

Yeah.

289

Yeah.

290

No, I agree.

291

In that no way.

292

It's all explicit and

there's no time, problem.

293

Yeah.

294

like if no one, and we'd go

like, we very rarely argue about

295

anything because we tend to feel.

296

Guilty that we haven't done the thing

that the other person is annoyed about

297

and that'll double down when it's actually

on the whiteboard and you go, well look

298

it's on the whiteboard but I'm I'm just

299

angry I'm just angry

300

with you, leave me alone.

301

Tilly: Yeah

302

well, yeah, that goes both ways, but I

think for the, yeah, for the morning.

303

So things, you need your

morning checklist almost.

304

So, I guess, I guess that's where you drop

the dishwasher and that would make it,

305

Dan 1: Bit.

306

Tilly: tasks.

307

Dan 1: Oh yeah, 100%,

308

Tilly: That's what I do

when I'm running kitchens.

309

I have daily cleaning schedules,

weekly cleaning schedules,

310

monthly cleaning schedules.

311

Dan 1: Write me a checklist, do

your SOPs, treat me like a little

312

skiving

313

Tilly: mean, a

314

Dan 1: chef,

315

Tilly: kitchen bible that

we want, a house bible.

316

But yeah, I do think we need to make sure

we're getting things down, so we've got

317

various other things that help keep us

our head straight, because I've absolutely

318

loved being a mum and all this, but

obviously it's very all encompassing.

319

Dan 1: But we also need to put on

things there that we want to do

320

Tilly: as a unit,

321

Dan 1: as a unit,

322

like the three or four

including the dog in some cases.

323

And then just as me and you, so it's like,

it becomes a real matrix of kind of try

324

and craft your ideal life in terms of what

are the things that you need to just do

325

because you enjoy it for your own health.

326

And then.

327

What are the things that you need to

do for, like, the household and the

328

family that kind of must be done?

329

And then, you know, how do you support

your partner in doing their things?

330

And then, how do you also do

you and your partner together?

331

And how do you do you and

your partner and your baby?

332

So you could, just,

333

Tilly: It's a juggling act, and I

334

think it's going to take a while to get

335

there.

336

it definitely is.

337

Dan 1: that, you know,

338

Tilly: act.

339

Dan 1: thing that's the problem nowadays

is that everyone, just including myself

340

here, wants that convenient solution

and doesn't really accept that it's

341

got to be a very deliberate action.

342

You've got, we've got

to sit down and actually

343

do something about it.

344

Whereas I just want to bitch

345

it.

346

Alright then, so what are

your highs, lows, and funnies?

347

Sorry, I'm just trying to

get ahead on the poo chat.

348

Because every week I forget

that I need to find one.

349

Tilly: think I.

350

Do you want to go first

351

Dan 1: I think I'll go first.

352

So highs, it's definitely been

enjoyable seeing, like, My, my

353

grandma and my, my grandparents and

354

family kind of

355

Tilly: another generation.

356

Mm.

357

That's been

358

Dan 1: in having like another generation.

359

That's been very nice.

360

anD seeing how much it

kind of means to them.

361

Cause you always spend

this whole time, you like,

362

their

363

I'll say it wears off.

364

It just very quickly becomes part of your

life and there are enjoyable moments.

365

something you, were doing sense,

366

you don't.

367

whereas when

368

see other people interacting

with your child, it's going to

369

make you go pause and reflect.

370

And you kind of go, Oh

371

Tilly: yeah,

372

Dan 1: this is magical.

373

This is amazing.

374

Whereas kind of a lot of the time

you're just kind of like, okay,

375

this thing, that thing, next thing.

376

And

377

you don't have as many of those.

378

You do have those magical moments, but

you don't have them as often because

379

you're not able to take

a step back as much.

380

very One time I

381

my grandparents over this

382

Tilly: going to

383

Dan 1: yeah,

384

Tilly: called

385

Dan 1: we keep calling the dog

Batty, and Grandmum is hurt

386

and decides it's called Batty.

387

Now I hope I don't get

cancelled, because I know

388

Tilly: are you saying?

389

What the fuck are

390

Dan 1: used as a gay slur!

391

I've

392

Tilly: why I was

393

going with it, I didn't want to

394

Dan 1: going with it!

395

Now I'm going to use the

gay slur to try and clear my

396

name, but it'll make it worse!

397

Tilly: make it all work.

398

I'm not using it as a case to

399

Dan 1: slur, I'm just saying that was the

400

Tilly: mis hearing of

401

what I'm

402

Dan 1: I turn

403

that up but now my grandma

404

calls him batty so that's now his name

405

for my grandma.

406

Now if this is one of yours I'll

stop but I was gonna say I quite like

407

watching this for the followers now.

408

Tilly: Oh, it doesn't matter,

we can have a joint one.

409

Yeah, fine.

410

Dan 1: I

411

think she recognizes you a lot

more than she recognizes me because

412

Tilly: the food train.

413

Dan 1: lot more time looking at you

414

and secondly you obviously spend a

lot more time with her because now

415

I'm back at work and stuff like that.

416

But, like, if it's only me in the room,

if you're out the room, someone else

417

has it, she'll still spend a lot of

time, like, tracing me around the room.

418

And it's just nice to want to be loved!

419

No, but it is, it is, yeah.

420

And that's the thing, for the

first two weeks it does, well not

421

two weeks, but for the earlier

422

part.

423

mean,

424

I've

425

said this and it doesn't sound that

great, but it does feel a bit like

426

having a Tamagotchi on hard mode.

427

It's kind of just, it does feel a

bit like, just do this thing, do that

428

thing, feed it, change it, keep it

429

light.

430

And it like,

431

a bit more like, oh,

actually this is, you know,

432

know,

433

it, you know, the baby recognizes me.

434

, Tilly: it's like, you're

the important person,

435

Dan 1: sounds very self

436

Tilly: explanatory, so

437

Dan 1: self interested, but

to a degree it is, because

438

I'm doing all this,

439

Tilly: don't know

440

Dan 1: you know, I hope you

realise who I am by now.

441

Tilly: able to smile.

442

Because you love them so much,

443

Dan 1: good.

444

Tilly: you want that to be reciprocated.

445

You like, you know, am I important to you?

446

Like, you answered me.

447

Yeah,

448

I agree with you.

449

I also like the fact that

she smiles back at us now.

450

So like when you smile at her.

451

She'll, like,

452

smile back at you sometimes, and she'll,

when she makes eye contact with you,

453

like, you can probably have, like,

communication through your faces now.

454

yeah,

455

That's really nice.

456

Dan 1: she smiles at me more with her

eyes than she does like fully, like

457

I can see sometimes she'll be moving

her mouth in a kind of smiley way,

458

but I haven't got like, I rarely

get the full, the full smiles.

459

I think you've got a few of, I

think that's also to do with fact

460

that you've obviously smiled at

461

bit more

462

Tilly: I

463

also deliberately smile at her.

464

And you smile at

465

Dan 1: in general,

466

Tilly: do,

467

Dan 1: whereas I spend most of

my time with her at like between

468

the hours of 8:00 PM and two,

469

2:00 AM So that might not

necessarily be my most,

470

Tilly: smile at her.

471

No, I think you just have

to be deliberate in them.

472

Like, I'm deliberately

smiling at her to get a smile.

473

I'm absolutely manipulating the

474

Dan 1: I was

475

Tilly: Like I'm sticking out my tongue,

she sticks out her tongue, because

476

that's good for development as well.

477

yeah,

478

So,

479

Dan 1: Like, I knew, you

480

Tilly: so

481

Dan 1: people, but

482

Tilly: yeah, that was a big high.

483

I think the other high was, like I

said, the bump and baby group this week.

484

That was my first sort of group I've done.

485

Since she's been born, it's kind of nice

to get more involved in the outside world.

486

You know, for the first while you

are quite cocooned, aren't you?

487

You're quite insular.

488

People come to see you and that's

lovely, but you're not, you might

489

go for walks, but you're not

really, you know, interacting

490

with the outside world very much.

491

I think that's just how it is.

492

But now we're getting to the stage where

I am interacting with the outside world

493

and becoming more involved, you know.

494

I've already met people and it's

lovely meeting other mums and their

495

babies, you know, talking about how

it's going, the struggles you're

496

having, what's nice, what's hard.

497

life and, you know, and it's nice to be

sort of brutally honest with each other,

498

you know, one woman was talking about

499

our piles which I hope is not too

much TMI, we're like, absolutely

500

not, bring em on, all the pile chat,

501

because That's the reality.

502

of it and it's lovely to be able to

share that with someone and not be like

503

self conscious about it, or uncomfortable,

because you're all just like, fuck

504

it, we've all gone through this.

505

I really enjoyed that on Tuesday, and

I'm going to start going every weekend.

506

There's other group, groups that I want

to join, things like, you know, Massage

507

and Sensory, and I walked over to our

local library, which is, really sweet,

508

and they actually host some classes there.

509

So when she's older I can take her

to a craft group, or board games,

510

if she's inclined for board games.

511

Which I'm going to go to

with my mum and my niece next

512

Friday, which will be lovely.

513

And I was also off on time with the

mums and talking about, you know, our

514

days, and you know, our partners going

back to work and things like that.

515

We the house at least once a

day, go for a walk or something.

516

And I know that we all did that,

but no one does it with anyone else.

517

And I was like,

518

it can get quite lonely, I imagine,

519

know,

520

You know, being at home.

521

And I'm okay if you're all working

from home three days out of five.

522

So

523

actually, I'm not, I'm only by myself

with her two days a week, so it

524

doesn't get that lonely.

525

Like I said, it can feel

quite isolating and lonely.

526

I was like, well, if we're all going

for walks, why don't we do it together?

527

So I'm looking

528

to hopefully start a parent walk group.

529

I wanted to say mommy walker,

but it could be dad's, I don't

530

know, whatever, you know.

531

And so then we all go for walks and

stuff, just have a group WhatsApp and

532

be like, okay, today we're going to

go to X park or whatever, meet you

533

there at 11, you can get a coffee,

just have a little chat and a walk.

534

And you can go somewhere, there's

no pressure, but it's just,

535

then if you want.

536

some coffee that day.

537

You can just go and have a little

stroll to the house and have a little

538

Dan 1: And I think that's nice because a

lot of the time you feel like trying to

539

socialize can be quite hard because you've

got this barrier, this hurdle of kind of

540

having a child there in terms of you've

got to get them ready to get out the door.

541

You've got to get,

542

them.

543

What if they cry?

544

What if they need changing?

545

What if they need feeding?

546

What if they need?

547

You've got to try and do all these

548

things.

549

A social setting.

550

I think a find it very

overwhelming because if you're

551

socializing with other mums.

552

it's

553

all pure understanding.

554

It's

555

like, okay, we've

556

kind

557

got to stop walking so I can

change my baby on this bench

558

in the middle of the park.

559

same.

560

Yeah, fine,

561

Tilly: Well, it's like the group,

like, we're all just sat chatting

562

with our baps out waiting for the

baby to latch, and we're not too self

563

conscious about it, don't matter.

564

So what?

565

Some of us have babies on the

floor, some of have got shits on and

566

we're whatever, cool, don't care.

567

But, you know, we're quite lucky,

we'll go most places with them, and we

568

don't feel too self conscious about it.

569

think you're, you get worried

because you hate the idea of

570

being an inconvenience, you?

571

You out by you.

572

And I think that probably

weighs more on you

573

than it does on me.

574

I don't

575

Dan 1: noticed a time?

576

I've

577

Tilly: think it's been an opportunity

to have that, but I feel like, you

578

know, if you were to go and see your

boys and you were like, but you could

579

only go if you brought Moonbeam.

580

I forgot what I was saying there,

but yeah, I think you would be

581

more likely to feel that way.

582

Dan 1: I think it depends

on what point she is.

583

Like, I'm completely happy to kind of go.

584

I'd be happy to go out with my,

with my boys, with Moonbeam.

585

If I got to the point that I

knew that I could, a better

586

degree of self sufficiency, and it

obviously depends on what we're doing.

587

Cause most of

588

the time when I'm with my boys,

I quite like the, the rather

589

reckless elements of it all.

590

Like, let's just hire a boat.

591

And then who

592

Tilly: yeah, but there's going

593

to be a lot less of that

as you get older now.

594

Dan 1: There'll still be the,

the annual, the annual retreat

595

Tilly: the annual treat for

596

Dan 1: retreat of

597

recklessness

598

Tilly: Yeah, you need that.

599

You need to have a,

like, a blowout weekend.

600

Dan 1: where multiple of us will

always come out with come back injured.

601

Tilly: You always

602

Dan 1: I didn't this

603

Tilly: didn't this time, Pretty bruised,

and so you feel like cruises and cuts and

604

things.

605

Yeah.

606

But nothing

607

Dan 1: Will's still been

bitching about his shoulder.

608

Tilly: you've got to

have a blowout period.

609

Dan 1: Guess my low, my low is probably

610

it's

611

this, this kind of

612

kind of

613

trifecta

614

of my jaw hurting all the time,

because I'm clenching all the

615

time, because I'm stressed.

616

About lots of things of which having

to kind of balance currently being

617

on a very demanding engagement

618

also

619

one of these new throws of parenting

620

and it,

621

be frank, my job

622

jaw was kind of clenched.

623

Well, I was clenching a

lot more even before that.

624

I think that's,

625

that.

626

I

627

I don't know, I

628

know, I guess

629

Tilly: I mean,

630

Dan 1: having a lot higher

degree of underlying stress.

631

that I not fortunate

632

in that the dreams have gone.

633

I don't know if any of

634

I'm very happy that the nightmares

of losing the baby in the sheets

635

was in

636

and her suffocating have gone.

637

Because she used to wake up clambering

around the bed and used to just laugh at

638

used to be just

639

You just laugh.

640

laugh.

641

Tilly: I did, I did sometimes.

642

I used to come for you, I used

to make sure you were okay.

643

And then I'd have a little good go.

644

Dan 1: So I'm very happy those

645

have gone.

646

They've been replaced though with the fact

that I now just clench my jaw in my sleep

647

and wake up with a very, with a sore jaw.

648

And then combined with

that is the fact that,

649

yeah, currently I'll be

kind of working quite a lot.

650

I'll just do my sort of,

651

my hours during the actual working day.

652

Then kind of be with you and

Moonbeam in the evening, and

653

then when you go off to bed,

654

Moonbeam

655

move to I'll then

656

work during

657

the night shift.

658

that means I'll be

659

end up working

660

Like literally maybe from

11 until two or something.

661

So that's been quite tiring.

662

Cause realistically I should

try and catch a little naps

663

on the, on the sofa or on the

664

armchair.

665

Tilly: And hopefully once this

project's calmed down right away then.

666

Dan 1: Yeah.

667

And I've got to accept also that this is

kind of something that I've chosen to do.

668

Like I could just turn around and

kind of say it's not possible.

669

I mean, I kind of originally did

and then said that it was, and now

670

I can feel like I can have to and

you know, there's a lesson in that.

671

Tilly: Yeah, so

672

Dan 1: So I guess that kind of

trifecta of items that the jaw.

673

The stress, the, the, the work that

we're currently, it just feels like

674

an awful lot, but it, it, it doesn't,

675

but clear of a

676

like the project will end.

677

What I need to get better at

doing is just also managing

678

my own stress so that I'm not

679

collecting so much more stress.

680

But you were saying you were

doing it as well, weren't you?

681

Tilly: to close my jaw a bit.

682

I definitely feel myself doing it

like, when I'm in sleep, and then

683

I'm like, oh, why am I doing that?

684

Dan 1: just was sort of like,

685

Tilly: do sometimes, Yeah.

686

I think part of it, for me, is for

when, for so long, until literally this

687

past week, breastfeeding was really

painful for me, most of the time.

688

But actually, for most of the

time, I was just feeling, like,

689

sort of, like, quite tense.

690

Yeah.

691

Like, being, like, sort of, like,

tensing my jaw, and tensing my body.

692

So I was like, oh, god, it's, you know,

I don't want to stop because she needs

693

the food, but it's fucking painful.

694

I think my body's still

quite in that mode.

695

I Still,

696

tend to do it when she's

feeding me when it's not sore.

697

I'm like, tensing?

698

This is funny.

699

but yeah,

700

I definitely, yeah, I felt that

was like tensing my jaw and stuff.

701

is that, Is

702

that,

703

is that.

704

your load?

705

Dan 1: Yeah, I think so, yeah.

706

Tilly: I'd say it was my little,

I'd say I had a pretty, I think

707

generally I had a pretty good week.

708

You know, I think,

709

especially the latter half of the

week when I was starting to get

710

to terms with like building it up

to that little bit of structure.

711

Like my days have fairly

little structure because,

712

you know, I get the things I want

to get done, but the large part

713

is ruled by her, which is fine.

714

but having that little bit of structure

in the morning massively helps

715

because I'm a massive person of structure.

716

So that's been really good this week.

717

But I guess

718

you know, I think

719

I struggle when I see you

720

struggling

721

with it all.

722

Yeah.

723

Dan 1: Yeah.

724

So, you

725

Tilly: you know, because if you're

someone, and you know, the first

726

thing is, you can quite easily

get into a quite negative mindset,

727

and that's your natural way

of being, and you're fully

728

aware of that, and you, and you

729

try and fight that, and it's fine.

730

So it means things like, you know, when

you are stressed, and things are piling up

731

a bit, or you're tired, you quite easily

732

go down a negative, like, tunnel,

whatever, and you just keep going

733

deeper and deeper and deeper, you

know, you go down the rabbit hole.

734

Dan 1: Yeah.

735

Tilly: yOu know, I don't, and you know,

I don't like seeing you like that,

736

but I also think it's

737

there's not always much I can do like,

we can try and talk about it, and I can.

738

Do what I can to try and support you,

but I also, I, I also have to accept the

739

fact that that is you, is part of you,

740

and it's a journey.

741

You, you are going on and you've got to go

on, you've got to work through it and do

742

your, I, I need to not, not be invested.

743

My husband, we've always be invested

in how you feel and want to support

744

you, but I guess not feel it.

745

So personally, I don't know.

746

Dan 1: mean,

747

it's like this kind of thing, like

just there, there'll be one thing that

748

I know links to one thing that links

to another thing that links to it.

749

And so they're very rarely an issue,

750

there's

751

kind

752

kind of a temporary downward spiral.

753

And I, I do it

754

actually from a practical perspective

and also from an emotional

755

perspective to a degree it,

756

that needs to be solved

that will solve this.

757

and it's going down the road.

758

What's bad, what's

759

and then, okay, so this,

760

this is

761

the thing

762

that that I'm mostly sold, but that also,

763

be very about trends, and it create bit a,

764

it does make feel negative.

765

Tilly: Yeah, you the thing

that I struggle with is

766

that, and this is more, I

think, probably more my issue

767

than yours, is that I want you to

768

be having a job.

769

I don't want to be having a job, I

770

be having joy in this time and hopefully

where this isn't that fun a lot of time

771

I'm saying like it's very much like you

need to feed her make sure she's got

772

clean nothing and sleeping You know and

also give her love but it's it's very

773

sort of like It's neat based, isn't it?

774

It's clearly like basic neat

That's what you're fulfilling.

775

I'm like, that's why it's

been so lovely about her now.

776

It's time to engage but if you

see you're saying that, you know,

777

you're not really enjoying it right

now Well, like not a good time in

778

life, you know, there's something

we've wanted for such a long time

779

I'm sure that's what we'll talk

in this podcast about our journey

780

I'm making my little movie.

781

but yeah, because it, I guess, you know,

it's something we've wanted and we've been

782

prepared for and we chose to have her.

783

I'm someone.

784

We have very different mindsets,

785

on what I thought I'd like to do.

786

Yeah, I'm just, I'm just,

I'm just sort of going

787

I'm sort of going, well, why

can't you see the good in this?

788

And you're, and you're, and you're,

and you're going, well, you know,

789

I don't see what or why I need to.

790

Dan 1: It's not just that,

it's that you, you have

791

An amazing

792

ability

793

to work out how to make

something good, be that

794

look

795

at it from a different perspective, look

at it across a different time period, look

796

at it from always really trying to find

797

the good in something.

798

I mean, I personally don't

799

like the idea of labeling

things good and bad as well.

800

I just

801

get on with what the action

they are and be in that moment,

802

be it, you know, however it

803

it is.

804

The things kind of just are, and

if you find joy in it, enjoy it.

805

And if you don't, if you know,

806

know,

807

not, it's not, great, try and solve

whatever the problem is and then find

808

the next thing that you find joy in.

809

But I

810

think it's better, to, least

811

if you're going to

812

to recognize that you're

813

bad, be better at making things good

814

you're than ending up

815

constantly bad, which I which

816

can be

817

guilty of.

818

of.

819

But for example, like when you're not,

820

when something, you're going

through of unenjoyment, you

821

actually think about that

822

period.

823

period You

824

think relative what you've

had do to get there,

825

Which I don't think a lot people do.

826

lot of

827

people are

828

caught up in

829

that moment

830

going, well, this is a bit

831

shit.

832

you,

833

this isn't great, but I'm so glad

to be where I am, given where I was.

834

Tilly: Yeah, that's, that is exactly it.

835

You know, like I said, bringing it

back to the breastfeeding, when I've

836

been sat there and it's been like,

sometimes it's been excruciating.

837

Like it's been like, you

know, I wanted to cry.

838

Yeah.

839

And I've gone, oh God, you know, and

you know, part of me wants to go, fuck

840

this, just give a formula, and that's

fine, you do want to do that, but it's

841

not what I've wanted to choose to do.

842

And being like, you know, sort of finding

it hard to see the point in it, and

843

like, it's just going, well, actually,

like the way I look at it, like you

844

said, is that I'm so blessed, actually.

845

Dan 1: It's not, it's not zoom

out perspective that I struggle

846

Tilly: to be going through this pain.

847

Actually that's a blessing because that

means that I've have a beautiful daughter

848

and you know, there times, well, we, we

didn't know if we were gonna have that.

849

Dan 1: Yeah.

850

Yeah.

851

It's, it's that ability to zoom in

and out of perspective as is made

852

official to you, which is something

that I'm not good at and can very

853

quickly latch onto the negative and

854

follow.

855

the trail of negativity as well.

856

Ugh, well, what's your funnies been?

857

I don't know if I had

858

Tilly: Let's see.

859

Dan 1: I guess one of them was, it's

not really directly her, but how grandma

860

absolutely loved having the baby the whole

861

Tilly: Yeah.

862

And my grandpa's like, oh

863

Dan 1: Yeah.

864

I'd like to hold her.

865

And

866

then,

867

And Moonbeam just suddenly decides

she's going to start crying.

868

And then he's like, okay, enough.

869

weapon, and he's like, let me know

870

what's up.

871

I'm just

872

this

873

going

874

Tilly: Yes, and

875

she's still crying.

876

I was like, what do you want?

877

And

878

Dan 1: no, it

879

I've done my time.

880

like, OK.

881

I've done that.

882

hold.

883

Didn't work.

884

I'll try again in a few

885

Months

886

time when she's maybe

chilled out a bit more.

887

Tilly: No.

888

It's not really funny but

I do enjoy that she snores.

889

baby snoring really funny.

890

Notice

891

how it snores.

892

Dan 1: No, does she?

893

Tilly: Particularly when

she's in the carrier.

894

I've just got her face

895

Dan 1: Yeah, I have read that.

896

But it more just that.

897

She can't breathe properly, I think.

898

Tilly: Funny.

899

She just presses

900

Dan 1: Because she just

presses her face into you.

901

It's not that we're doing something.

902

She loves trying to get her face

into your chest as much as possible.

903

And then she's like having to

blow bubbles through your skin.

904

Tilly: When she, like, when we're

sleeping in bed because sleeping,

905

she's sleeping next to me in the bed.

906

She probably into my

907

Dan 1: Yeah, she does that to

me when she's in the carrier.

908

Tilly: armpit.

909

Dan 1: Oh, yeah.

910

Taste.

911

I'm

912

,

Tilly: she was absolutely very into it, and I'm like, I'm pretty sure, because

913

you get quite sweaty, it's part, it's

one part of the joyful postpartum

914

journey, so you get quite, I think

you get night sweats, you've seen it.

915

you know, you come in and really

moist, yeah, so I'm going to

916

be dripping sweat on her face.

917

Maybe that's what she's like

when she comes back to you.

918

Some sort of Yes.

919

Dan 1: yeah, sweaty and damp and,

920

I don't really have that when I

921

Tilly: your intro.

922

We can

923

Dan 1: of liquids all over

924

Tilly: I've got to try if anyone

listens to this and they work for

925

Lidl, we'd love to be sponsored by Lidl

because we use all of their nappies.

926

And maybe

927

Dan 1: Loopy loo loo, loo

928

Tilly: loo Lippie loo loo,

929

I was about to drink her milk then.

930

I really do feel the urge every

time I meet her to give her some.

931

Yeah.

932

I just want

933

to instinctively shove Yeah.

934

it in her mouth.

935

I want to feed her.

936

This is thrilling.

937

Dan 1: right.

938

podcast going?

939

Tilly: Great.

940

my idea.

941

Sketchy!

942

Dan 1: It was, and I did the work for it.

943

Tilly: That's how it goes.

944

Dan 1: I know, it's not frustrating at all

945

Tilly: Pass the haggle there.

946

Dan 1: Go on, do your

intro for the shit chat.

947

Tilly: All the followers.

948

?

Dan 1: Oh, this good.

949

During one of the night feeds

last changes of week two.

950

Stop me if I have done this one.

951

Peak sleep deprivation.

952

Opened the diaper that

was just a pee diaper.

953

Lifted her butt to change it.

954

Liquid baby poo rocketed out her butt and

sprayed all my face, clothes and hair.

955

A bassinet.

956

I knew had about enough sleep or shower

before she woke in after feeding.

957

I was so that I did my

958

best a baby wipe and slept for

45 minutes covered in baby shit.

959

My

960

My woke up

961

with a turmeric colored

afternoon off in the the morning.

962

Tilly: No judgement here.

963

I once met a guy, who on holiday,

no, he shagged a girl, I think it

964

might have been his girlfriend.

965

He then did a little poo in the

bed, while he was asleep, like

966

a little poo in the middle.

967

And they're both so drunk or tired that

they decided they'd just sleep around

968

his poo in the middle of the bed.

969

That was a full grown person poo.

970

Poo's not that bad.

971

Dan 1: Okay, well, I'm a caring parent but

972

could set up

973

a like, camelback

974

that I could set up

975

a a like camelback or hamster

976

Tilly: mean?

977

Dan 1: feed thing with milk for

her while I'm looking after her

978

Tilly: was

979

Dan 1: because it's really

like a not that engaged job.

980

.

And then, it's, you kind of have to stop every 30 seconds and

981

leave her to break for a minute.

982

So there's a lot of like, lost time.

983

And I'm in the middle

of doing work and stuff.

984

You know what I'm like, I like, you know,

I like to just do one thing, complete

985

it, do the next thing, complete it.

986

and switch

987

so that, that irritates me

that I can't just put a little

988

Camelback on a full of

milk and just have a

989

it through

990

suck it through there.

991

You got any?

992

I'm a caring parent, but

I know I love my crop.

993

Tilly: of my mum's, I need to get my own

994

home

995

Dan 1: you go, I'm a caring parent but

I'm annoyed that I've lost the ability to

996

wear flip flops since I've had a child.

997

Is that yours?

998

Tilly: having crocs

999

Dan 1: fuuuun.

00:36:43,597 --> 00:36:49,364

Tilly: wear flip flops anymore.

00:36:49,483 --> 00:36:50,446

fall over when I wore them.

00:36:50,552 --> 00:36:51,381

It's all

00:36:51,381 --> 00:36:52,624

over, fell over.

00:36:52,624 --> 00:36:53,452

Poor English.

00:36:53,452 --> 00:36:53,867

I

00:36:53,867 --> 00:36:56,353

ripped a hole in my trousers.

00:36:56,353 --> 00:36:58,010

Fucked up my knee.

00:36:58,010 --> 00:36:58,425

She

00:36:58,589 --> 00:36:59,439

Dan 1: saved the baby.

00:36:59,668 --> 00:37:00,082

Tilly: it.

00:37:00,082 --> 00:37:01,325

I don't know

00:37:01,325 --> 00:37:02,154

what happened.

00:37:02,154 --> 00:37:03,811

She just watched me.

00:37:03,811 --> 00:37:05,054

Didn't do anything.

00:37:05,377 --> 00:37:08,315

Dan 1: People just, everything's

so self represented now,

00:37:08,369 --> 00:37:09,612

Tilly: young, absorbed person.

00:37:09,612 --> 00:37:10,855

I was just

00:37:10,976 --> 00:37:11,361

Dan 1: over.

00:37:11,361 --> 00:37:14,821

She's She probably just

looks like a meth head.

00:37:14,863 --> 00:37:17,363

Tilly: I love sitting on a damp

floor with a baby in my arms.

00:37:17,512 --> 00:37:19,050

Dan 1: have to please vote.

00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:21,463

Tilly: I don't really look very messy.

00:37:23,238 --> 00:37:24,913

I'd have to lose a lot of

weight, I think, to look messy.

00:37:25,350 --> 00:37:26,388

Dan 1: You've got too many

teeth as well, you do.

00:37:26,388 --> 00:37:30,600

Alrighty, well, we'll leave it there.

00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:31,975

Bye.

00:37:32,325 --> 00:37:32,913

Goodbye now, bye

00:37:33,331 --> 00:37:34,556

Tilly: I think there's potatoes.