If you want More Confidence–Here's 2 Unexpected Secrets I share in this episode with two real life examples from personal experience.

As leaders, one of the simplest (but not easiest) methods to become more confident is to adopt the mindset of absolute accountability and responsibility.

Responsibility refers to the obligation to perform the task or comply with a rule; accountability implies answerability for the outcome of the task or process.

When you decide that phrases like "it's not fair", "it's not my fault", "I wasn't there", or "it wasn't my intent"are no longer a part of your vocabulary, I can promise you that your confidence will increase, and others will follow your example.

I can point if I, if you look at the timeline of your life, I can point to the moment in time where I decided I was a hundred percent accountable because that's when everything changed. That's when my career trajectory took off. And that most importantly, that's when my confidence skyrocketed. So like all of us, you want more confidence. You want to feel more confident in your day to day life. How do we get more of it? Well, today I want to give you two kind of unexpected secrets that I think are two, the most important things that you need to be aware of in your own life to experience more of that feeling of confidence and, really be able to put it in the practice, being confident about more things. Number one, responsibility, and number two accountability. Now they are simple answers, but they're not easy.

And they're also very different. Let me explain the difference between the two before we go any further. Number one responsibility that refers to the obligation to perform a certain task or comply with something. Responsibility is just about, this is on me to get this done. That's very different from accountability because accountability implies that something has happened. There's already been a result of a task or a pro a process, and who has to answer for whatever happened or who's being pointed to as the cause of a certain outcome, two different things. And I'm gonna give you two different, two different examples of the turning point for me with each of those things. The first is responsibility. Uh, January 7th, 1994, I lost my father to colon cancer. And up until then I was 20 years old at the time. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was extremely dependent may, maybe extremely, not a fair word, but I was very dependent on, on my dad to figure things out in life and, and kind of get things done when they needed to be done.

I didn't have then the assumption of responsibility that I have now, maybe it's normal because I was young. I was 20 years old, but what happened for me and what was a, why that was a pivotal moment for me among many other reasons is when that drug kind of got pulled out from underneath me and I lost him. I lost the person who at the time was my biggest go-to resource for figuring things out and make sure things that needed to get done in my life. Got done when he wasn't there, even though I still had my mom and friends and over the years, uh, you know, my amazing wife that I've been married to now for almost 26 years, you know, I had other people in resources when I lost him, especially early on, all of a sudden I realized, wow, I've got to figure this life thing out through some good fortune, good luck and the help of many other people in my life.

I started realizing that I can figure things out and I can start doing things for me, even if I'd been used to being able to count on someone else, to get them done. And the way that becomes tangible for you is I, I challenge you to reflect on your life as to who your, who is your default, when it comes to the idea of responsibility to get things done. Do you assume that it's on you or do you have assumptions that somebody else is responsible for many things in your life? Cause I can tell you this with 100% certainty, the more that you default to looking at yourself as the responsible person to get things done, even if factually, you don't have to do it all nor do I encourage you to do it all. But when you have the assumption that things are on me and I need to figure this out and get this done, doing that over and over day after day, week after week, month, and year and decade at a time that will build your confidence muscle massively because you will realize that you are capable of figuring anything out and getting anything done as long as you commit to it and recognize that at the end of the day in life, it's all on us.

Isn't it like we kind of have to figure things out. We're the only person ever with a hundred percent at a time. And if we want something done, it's not somebody else's job to get it done. It's up to us to figure out a way to get it done. Now, number two, accountability. That's different. Let me give you an example about what I mean by taking, uh, extreme accountability and why that will build your confidence years ago when I was up for, I was trying to get promoted in my career for the first time. And I got passed over not once, not twice, not three times. I got passed over, I think four times before I finally got that first promotion. Now here's the thing in my mind. I don't think it was right that I got passed over. I feel like that my resume, my body of work at each of those stages compared to the other people that got that promotion before me, I felt like I was the better choice I truly did and still do, but here's the thing.

It doesn't matter does it, because at the end of the day, whose job is it to make sure that they get promoted, it was mine. Now let me explain how that works in practical terms, what I wound up having to do, even though I thought that I deserved those promotions, I had to reflect on myself and decide, regardless of my preconceived notions of fairness, I had to ask myself, was there anything at all that I could have done or could be doing better to put me in a position where I was almost unignorable? And the truth was I wasn't at a hundred percent, even though I thought my resume looked better than everything else. You know what I was doing, I was for the most part, doing things, I was operating at a comfortable level. I wasn't pushing. I know I wasn't at a hundred percent, I kind of had this little chip on my shoulder.

Like my 70% of full output was better than anyone else's one hundred percent. I kind of had this edge about me, which can be good in some ways, but in this way, it wasn't because here's the thing not to get metaphysical about things, but it's weird how the universe kind of knows when you're coasting. And it also knows when you decided to go all in and go at a hundred percent. So I completely changed the script on myself and I decided that I was going to outwork. What anybody's expectations of me could be. I changed how I studied. I changed how I performed. I changed the tasks and projects that I volunteered for. I up leveled my gain beyond what, not only what I thought was enough, but beyond what I thought I was capable of, I started realizing that come, what may, the only thing I'm accountable for is being the best that I can be not trying to look around and see if I'm, if I think I'm better than those around me, what can I do better period.

And then from there, let the chips fall where they made funny thing happened. When I decided that I was the sole person accountable, I started getting promoted very quickly. And over the years I jumped through the ranks and wound up leaving top of the food chain, so to speak. And it was all because I decided everything was on me, took a lot of work, took some good fortune of having great peers and friends that supported me along the way, took support of my family. Uh, my wife, my child, my extended family. But I can point if I, if you look at the timeline of your life, I can point to the moment in time where I decided I was a hundred percent accountable because that's when everything changed. That's when my career trajectory took off. And that Mo most importantly, that's when my confidence skyrocketed, it won't be easy, but I promise you, it will be worth it, make the decision right now that you're gonna be 100% responsible and 100% accountable for anything that goes on your life.

Does that mean factually you are responsible or accountable for a hundred percent of everything in your life, kind of doesn't matter. What matters is when your mindset defaults to that. When you decide that ultimately it's on you, you'll start figuring things out and you'll start finding the teachers, the resources, the right people to help you along the way, and to help you to continue to build your confidence. I would love to hear your feedback on confidence and its relationship to accountability and responsibility. If you're watching this on YouTube, leave a comment below. If you're listening to this on the podcast, head on over to AaronKeithHawkins.com. Leave me a comment in the show notes for this episode, I would love to hear from you. And if you have questions, go over to AaronKeithHawkins.com and leave me a questions. Leave me a question in the podcast question tab on my homepage.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope it felt useful and valuable and gives you something to think about and work on cuz that's the purpose of this show until next time I'm Aaron Keith Hawkins and welcome to leadership. Hey, this is Aaron. Did you like that episode? If you did go ahead and hit that subscribe button on whatever platform you're using to listen to this episode, that way each new episode gets delivered directly to you. And second, if you have about 30 seconds, go ahead and leave a quick five star rating and review and share this episode with two people that might also find it valuable, just like you did, because given that five star review and sharing an episode may seem like a very small thing, but in reality, it does make a big difference in helping more people get this message and helping us continue to give you more useful episodes.