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22 — An Unexpected Gender Evolution: A Conversation with Lauren
Episode 227th May 2021 • Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast • Stella O'Malley & Sasha Ayad
00:00:00 01:04:18

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“Lauren” is a 32-year-old lesbian who has moved with ease across the gender spectrum over the course of her lifetime. Lauren offers a positive story about how being gender non-normative and having a complicated gender experience can be a pleasant and interesting experience. Cautioning against the heavy and urgent discussions about medicalizing gender expression, Lauren wonders if we can become more playful and even joyful about gender?


Lauren’s Blog:


Extended Notes

  • A little bit about Lauren and her experience with gender.
  • The way our society is handling trans children is completely different from when Lauren grew up.
  • Lauren feels a bit betrayed by the LGBTQ community.
  • What was Lauren’s childhood like?
  • How did Lauren’s family deal with her and her older sister’s masculine gender?
  • Can you be gay and Mormon?
  • Lauren was always the good child and her older sister was the problem masculine child. So it threw everyone for a loop when they found out Lauren was a lesbian, and not her sister.
  • When Lauren dressed in drag, she felt much more comfortable in her own body.
  • Men’s clothing was just easier to understand and when Lauren took on a more butch persona, it was a lot easier for her to date.
  • Lauren was a butch lesbian for about 10 years before switching back to a more “feminine” look.
  • In Lauren’s mind, being butch is almost like a third gender.
  • At one point, Lauren identified as trans.
  • The trans community has really affected the way lesbians see themselves. Lauren knows several people in same-sex relationships who have identified as trans at one point in time in her friend group.
  • When it came to having children, how did Lauren and her wife decide who should have a child?
  • A lot of Lauren’s friends who were butch were transitioning, either to a more feminine persona or trans. And she felt like she could not grieve this sense of loss. She just had to be happy for her friends.
  • When random people were shouting slurs at Lauren and her wife, it only really started to bother her as she got older and was going to become a parent.
  • What’s it like being a mother?
  • Eleven-year-olds are being asked if they want to preserve their fertility. It’s crazy.
  • Lauren has gone through many different gender identities and went on to have children. She gets fired up and passionate when young children are forced to “choose.”
  • We have to think about the long-term well-being of children and teenagers first. Not our politics.
  • Can we be more playful with our gender? Why do we have to always pick a side?

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