Feeling like the weight of the world is sitting on your chest, especially as a parentor ally of LGBTQ+ loved ones?
You're not imagining it.
You're not overreacting.
And you're definitely not alone.
If the nonstop news, toxic division, and rising threats to LGBTQ+ rights have you feeling depleted and panicked, this episode is your calm in the storm.
Heather shares a deeply personal reflection on what it means to stay grounded while the world feels like it's unraveling and offers 10 powerful strategies to protect your nervous system, preserve your energy, and parent from a place of love, not fear.
In this episode, you’ll:
✔️ Learn why obsessively checking polls can harm your mental health and what to focus on instead
✔️ Discover 10 real-world self-care practices that actually work when you're in advocacy mode
✔️ Explore simple, grounding techniques to regulate your nervous system and reclaim your clarity
✔️ Hear how Heather’s own experiences as a parent, ally, and advocate are shaping her 2024 game plan (and beyond!)
✔️ Celebrate the podcast's 5th birthday and her recent Women in Podcasting award win!
Whether you’re navigating fear, fatigue, or a fierce desire to fight for justice, this episode gives you permission to pause and the tools to rise again.
Listen now to learn how to stay strong, steady, and centered in the chaos so you can continue showing up for yourself, your LGBTQ+ child, and the future we’re all fighting for.
Bonus: You’ll also get a step-by-step breakdown of how to make a voting plan that fits you.
Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!
Listen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!
At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.
If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast and space where a mom and mental health advocate offers guidance on parenting with empathy, inclusion, and open-minded allyship, fostering growth, healing, and empowerment within the LGBTQ community—including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals—while addressing grief, boundaries, education, diversity, human rights, gender identity, sexual orientation, social justice, and the power of human kindness through a lens of ally support and community engagement.
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Before I get into today's episode, I want to share some super exciting news with you.
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I won the women in podcasting award for best LGBTQ podcast.
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Thank you so much to everyone who voted.
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Thank you for listening.
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And I thank you, everyone, for sharing your stories and just being part of this magical podcast that I love doing so, so very much.
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This week is actually just breathe's official fifth birthday, so it was a huge honor and just a really super cool way to celebrate.
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So today's episode drops within two weeks of this election cycle.
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And I don't know about you, but I am exhausted.
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I am exhausted from the insane pace of the news cycle.
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I am exhausted from the palpable energy radiating from just the sheer number of unprecedented events and factors that are wrapped up in this race.
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I'm exhausted from trying to wrap my head around the fact that our country is basically split down the middle when the choice seems so, so clear.
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And while I could spend the next ten minutes listing all of the differences, I will simply summarize it as one candidate is fighting for the rights of our LGBTQ kids and loved ones to exist peacefully, and the other one is actively fighting against them, speaking in ugly and offensive ways about them, dehumanizing and demeaning them.
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nd he will follow his project:
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And while I am not a fan of all of Kamala's proposed policies, I will vote for her because her pledge to fight for the rights of LGBTQ people is not just lip service.
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She already has a proven track record of doing just that.
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And that track record extends to women, all marginalized people, the middle class, and so on.
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So to me, this just seems so, so very clear.
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We can vote for people, not unchecked power.
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So I could totally rant and express and all of the things for ages.
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Just ask Steve and the kids because they get to hear me all the time.
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But I will stop here because what I really, really want to talk about today is how to take care of yourself around all of this election stuff.
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And I have ten suggestions for you for today, so get ready to take some notes.
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First, if you haven't listened to the last episode with Kelly Lubeck, go listen to it.
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Next.
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Kelly is a nervous system specialist, and in addition to having us practice one technique during her interview, she also gives examples of several more that are incredibly helpful for soothing your nervous system.
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Second, do not do that.
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Pay attention to the polls.
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They are crazy making.
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And unless you are an expert at reading the raw data, what the media gives us is designed to keep us anxious and on the edge of our seats.
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And while the techniques behind polling, they are scientific, it is still partisan.
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Meaning that the questions asked, the way in which they are asked, to whom they are asked, and in what format they are asked, along with really dozens of other signifiers that all informs the raw data.
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And then from there, statistically, the numbers can be skewed to tell a whole spectrum of stories.
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So, like I said, crazy me.
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Third, if you listen to podcasts, both to inform and to relax, tune into the ones that help you take a breath.
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Use your podcast listening time to soothe your nervous system, not amp it up.
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If you feel like podcasts are the only way to stay informed, lean into the ones that discuss facts without the drama and the bravado.
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If you want suggestions, drop me an email and I'll share some of my faves with you.
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Fourth, laugh.
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Think about what really, really makes you laugh.
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Not just crack a smile, but that kind of laughter that causes that big, beautiful laugh to come out.
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Kind that makes you cry or snort, or do all of the silly things that we do when we really, really laugh.
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Is it a favorite comedian?
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Is it an episode of Friends or Ted Lasso or shrinking?
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Is it a silly meme or silly memes?
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Funny pets on TikTok?
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Oh my gosh, make a point.
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Whatever it is, find your thing or things and make a point to laugh every single day.
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Not only is it really, really good for your soul and your nervous system, there is scientific evidence that shows it boosts your immune system.
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Fifth, if doing helps you feel more calm, get out there and do.
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There are still plenty of things you can do in these final two weeks.
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You can volunteer for a phone bank.
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You can go knock on doors in a swing state if you live near one, or if you live in one, you can talk to friends and loved ones, just to name a few.
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Six goes right along with five, and it is vote.
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Make a plan and stick to it.
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I've always been an election day voter, so that is when I'm voting.
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But do what you prefer, what you like doing.
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You like mail in voting?
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Do that.
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Sit with your friends and your family and fill out your vote, your ballot together.
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Do you like going early?
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Right now so many states are already voting in person.
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Early voting.
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Do it.
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Or maybe you're like me and you like day of voting.
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Just pick one, make a plan, stick to it, and for extra bonus points, take a friend.
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Seven is about taking care of yourself, thinking about what radical self care looks like for you.
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What helps you relax?
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Rejuvenate?
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Just fill your cup and prevents you from feeling depleted and just down or depressed or on the verge of getting sick even.
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There is no wrong answer here.
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My self care tools are likely very different from your self care tools, so it doesn't really matter what mine are.
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What matters is that you have a list of your go to tools, your go to strategies that help you replenish, whether it's at that surface level just because you need to get by today, or at the deepest, deepest rejuvenation, because you just really, really need to replenish.
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Eight is closely related to seven, but it is significant enough to deserve its own number.
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And it is journal get your thoughts out of your head, out of your body and onto paper.
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It doesn't need to be a fancy notebook, and you don't need to write in complete sentences.
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It can be just thoughts.
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Stop using shoulds as an excuse and just use this tool.
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Journaling has the power to change your life.
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If you're wondering how just by putting all of that mental chatter on paper, you take away its power, you give yourself the gift of clarity and further over time, the gift of objectivity and really deep healing.
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I cannot recommend it enough.
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And if you're anything like me, this election cycle has created plenty of mental chatter, perhaps even a step into hyper vigilance and prepping for every single conversation you could have with the non affirming people in your life.
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So grab a piece of paper and a pen and get it all out.
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I promise you promise that this alone will help you feel lighter.
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After eight, we definitely need nine and ten.
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Nine is go outside and move.
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Be in nature.
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Take a walk.
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Look at the beautiful colors of the trees.
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If you live in the midwest or the northeast or the northwest or wherever trees are turning their beautiful colors right now, go smell the salt of the ocean.
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If you live on the coasts, stop and sit in the grass or in the sand or on a rock.
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Use all five of your senses and just be with the natural world around you.
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Notice the geese like my dog does every morning on her walk.
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She just sits down and observes the dozens of canadian geese meandering across the field.
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And frankly, I'm glad she doesn't go after them because that is a fight I know she would not win and tend.
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Actually take a breath.
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Stop and take a conscious, deep belly breath.
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Now do it again if that feels good.
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Take a few more moments and find a place to sit down, close your eyes, lay your hands in your lap, or place them over your heart with the intention of calming or clearing all of the thoughts swirling in your brain.
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Take five deep and even breaths.
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Notice where in your body you feel any emotion or discomfort, even stress, anxiety, excitement, joy, contentment.
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Pick one.
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Does it stay in the same place in your body?
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Or now that you're focused on it, does it move?
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Does it dissipate?
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Or does it feel stronger?
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Now think about where you feel calm in your body.
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Can you make that feeling spread?
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Picture what that calm looks like in your mind's eye.
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Take note, because you're going to take this with you.
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Take three more breaths, wiggle your fingers and your toes, and open your eyes.
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Now you can take calm wherever you go.
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This quick episode is another beautiful example of, and which you know I love.
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Fight for and do whatever you can for your LGBTQ child or loved one and take care of your health and sanity at the same time.
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It can be both.
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You're not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, by being run down and depleted.
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Come and join the conversation on TikTok and Instagram reels.
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You can find me at chrysalismama on both platforms.
