Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is V and V is for vaginismus. Vaginismus is vaginal tightness that causes pain, discomfort or the complete inability to have sexual intercourse.  It usually is as a result of an involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles though a woman may not be aware that this is the cause of her penetration or pain difficulties. Talking about Vaginismus is something that happens more often than most in Psychosexual Therapy so today I am talking to Kate Moyle a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Co-Founder of Pillow Play App. Vaginismus although it is not widely spoken about impacts as many as 2 in every 1000 women, but is still not widely discussed and many don't even have a name for their symptoms until they see a professional. Kate believes in breaking the stigma around female sexual dysfunctions and that these conversations can really help people get the help that they need.

Kate Moyle is a Qualified Psychosexual Therapist working with couples and individuals to help get them to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing. She believes in offering her clients a confidential and taboo free space, where they can address their sexual issues and concerns and create a path to change that is right for them as individuals. After completing a BSc degree in Psychology Kate went onto complete her Post Graduate Diploma in Psychosexual Therapy and a three year MA in Relationship Therapy. 

Kate talked about the causes of vaginismus. She spoke about the symptoms and that this is very treatable. It is a psychosomatic disorder, meaning that problems, traumas anxieties cause a physical problem so both mind and body need treatment. Vaginismus can be a chronic problem and so treatment can take some time.  First port of call is a psychosexual therapist. There are products to help treatment.  Sh! (women’s sex shop in London) created a dilation set that is very user friendly, made of soft silicone without seams. Kate advised that people start slowly and if they have severe vaginismus maybe with a cotton bud instead of the little finger for insertion. She advised that people take the time to relax before starting any physical exercises prescribed in therapy (or discovered on the internet). Most of all she reminds people that they are not alone and that things can get better with some gentle persistence and the help of a partner, a psychosexual therapist, or even a gynaecologist. She suggests that support through the treatment is better than going it alone and I agree.  

We spoke about the need for more spaces where sex is spoken openly and freely without shame.   

Alongside her private therapy practice www.katemoyle.co.uk she is also a Founding Partner of Pillow Pillow Play App www.pillow.io the app that helps couples to get creative and playful with intimacy over 30 sessions. It is a follow along program that doesn’t require lots of preparation and helps couples to focus on each other.  Kate has offered listeners a 25% discount on the programme. Use the code AtoZofSex at www.pillow.io.

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to drloribeth@atozofsex.com and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.  Please join me next week when the letter will be W…