Your style has the power to build confidence, enhance your visibility, and make your business more memorable. Today, Joanna speaks with award-winning personal stylist, TEDx speaker and sustainable fashion consultant Alex Standley about using style with greater intention. Alex shares how reconnecting with her values changed the direction of her career, and why personal style begins with understanding who you are rather than following trends.

Timestamps

00:00 – Meet Alex Standley

01:25 – When Your Career No Longer Fits

06:35 – Style, Identity and Personal Brand

13:25 – Using Colour to Build Confidence

17:35 – The Biggest Style Mistakes

24:00 – Building a Sustainable Wardrobe

34:20 – Sales, Networking and Authentic Visibility

This episode is a reminder that the way you present yourself can support your confidence, communicate your values and help people remember you, without asking you to perform as someone you are not.

Check out Alex's website

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Today's guest is Alex Standley.

2

She is an award-winning personal

stylist, TEDx speaker, and sustainable

3

fashion consultant with 20 years

experience in the fashion industry.

4

Before starting her own business, Alex

spent 15 years as a global fashion

5

buyer at Marks & Spencer and Amazon,

6

it was maternity leave, like for

many of us, that changed everything.

7

She lost her confidence, felt

completely disconnected from herself,

8

and realized that the clothes that

once felt like an armor no longer

9

fitted in more ways than one.

10

That became her turning point.

11

She retrained as a personal stylist,

and now helps trailblazing women, like

12

speakers, founders, and coaches, and

leaders, align their style with their

13

ambition and their values through

her signature style identity method.

14

She also has a podcast called A

Styled Life Podcast, and really

15

excited to have her here today.

16

I have recently started working

with Alex, and really loving

17

the identity work we're doing.

18

So starting inwards to then

eventually go outwards.

19

So welcome, Alex.

20

So happy you are here.

21

Do tell us about your story in fashion

and that hard decision that you probably

22

came to, to eventually leave that career.

23

Alex: So I was working for Amazon

at the time so it's, actually, when

24

I was pregnant with my daughter.

25

I ended up on this kind of rabbit hole

researching what I was putting on my

26

body and in my body being pregnant, and

ended up down this rabbit hole around

27

sustainability because, I realized,

when, in all the products that we're

28

using and consuming, there were a lot of

things that, weren't so good to have when

29

you're pregnant and that kind of thing.

30

And it just opened up a can of

worms around my own part to play in,

31

the impact of the fashion industry on

people and planet and, the environmental

32

impact and the humanitarian impact.

33

And it was just this big wake-up call

and realization that I was such a big

34

part of that problem with the industry

that I was in, and obviously, the company

35

that I was working for and all of that.

36

And it just made me realize how far out

of alignment I was with my own values,

37

because the fashion industry was, my love

from, quite a young age, and I was quite

38

lucky that I knew exactly what I wanted

to do, and buying was my dream career.

39

And it, it was, it was

an incredible experience.

40

I got to travel the world and I got to

create product from scratch, and then see

41

people walking down the street wearing

things that I'd had a hand in creating

42

and, traveling, inspirational shopping,

and going to places like Paris and New

43

York and Hong Kong, and then, going to

the factories where the product was being

44

made and just seeing the full kind of

360 of, of that input was incredible.

45

But I think once I had that kind of

realization, there was no going back.

46

It's I think it was Maya Angelou who

says "Once you know better, do better."

47

And that's been such a, a

kind of, a strong part of

48

my ethos behind my business.

49

So once I had that realization, I then

started to explore, what can I do with

50

all of this kind of lifetime of experience

of being in the fashion industry, but

51

use those skills and expertise in a much

more positive way that's gonna positively

52

impact people and planet, rather than

having that kind of negative impact?

53

So I was very fortunate that I had,

set up a Instagram account, which

54

was more of a creative outlet for me.

55

So it wasn't with the intention of

starting a styling business, it was

56

just I'd lost a bit of the creativity

in my role at Amazon, 'cause it was very

57

data-driven and, analytical, and so it

was just a creative outlet for my, for me.

58

But I connected with, a stylist who

trained other stylists, and very heavily

59

pregnant I went to one of her workshops

in London, and I just fell in love with

60

the whole concept and it just felt like,

this is the missing piece of the puzzle

61

and this is what I'm supposed to do next.

62

So, then when I was on maternity

leave, I retrained, and the

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rest is history, really.

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Speaker: Oh, goodness me.

65

I love that quote.

66

I don't think I've ever heard of it.

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Yeah, it's just so powerful-

Yeah … and how you changed everything

68

noticing your values misalignment.

69

It's, like- Mm … so courageous.

70

Tell us more about the practical

fears that maybe were coming

71

up at the time as well.

72

Alex: Oh, so many.

73

I think I'm a very driven and ambitious

person, so for me to have that

74

realization, it was quite a hard hitting

because it was like, I've spent my whole

75

life working towards this career that I

thought was gonna be, a forever career.

76

I'm gonna, work my way up to sort

of director level, and that's gonna

77

be me set for, the rest of my life.

78

So I think that was quite a- scary

realization in some ways, 'cause it was

79

like, "Oh, God, I've worked so hard to

get to where I am, and then I'm just gonna

80

blow it all up by starting my business."

81

But I just, I think the fear was lesser

than the kind of mission and purpose

82

and, and that realignment to who I am

and, and my values and wanting to…

83

I think my daughter was such

a strong part of my why.

84

It was like I want to make sure

that the kind of, the world that

85

I'm leaving behind for her and

for future generations is better.

86

And, and so I wanted to do something

that would contribute to that

87

rather than, do the opposite.

88

And that's been a thread again

that's run through my business.

89

It's if anything ever feels scary or if

I'm not sure what decision is the right

90

decision to make, I always come back to

what is my mission, what is my purpose,

91

and that kind of has become a filter

that I make all of my decisions through,

92

There's nothing more powerful than that.

93

Jo: I absolutely love it, and it's

probably again why I chose to work with

94

you because I do think that I've been

in business a while now, and I used to

95

be very into all of that kind of stuff.

96

Mm-hmm.

97

And I suppose eventually you get on the

hamster wheel, and you're just busy,

98

and you're not really remembering- Mm

99

why you're doing this.

100

So that's why- Definitely … I love

the way you work as well with the deep

101

identity to then dress outwardly- Mm

… to express that rather than I've never

102

really personally been into fashion, I

like- Mm … to try and look nice, but

103

it wasn't something- Yeah … I've ever

considered y- or, given much thought to.

104

Alex: Mm.

105

Speaker: So I love that you do

it that way of like it's not

106

just about putting clothes on.

107

Alex: No.

108

You're

109

Speaker: actually expressing yourself

from a really deep identity level.

110

Alex: And it was again, putting all

the different pieces of the puzzle

111

together and to create something

that was so powerful for my clients.

112

Because I've seen so much that, I

work with predominantly with women

113

who are again, very ambitious, very

busy, they live very fast-paced lives.

114

And often that means that they've become

very disconnected to who they actually

115

are at their core, and they don't have

the time or, the luxury of time to really

116

sit back and reconnect and to think

about, who am I and what do I stand for,

117

and therefore how do I want to show up?

118

So the idea behind that, going deeper

and starting with that identity work

119

was helping to hold up a mirror to

who you are, rather than asking…

120

I think what I saw so much was that

women were really struggling with that

121

because they just had lost themselves,

or they were feeling very disconnected,

122

and they were having all of these

layers of, the shoulds and the labels

123

of, mother, wife daughter, employee or

business owner or whatever it is, and

124

had lost who they were in the process.

125

So I think the powerful thing

about the way that I work is that

126

you don't necessarily have to

Have all of the answers yourself.

127

It's a supportive framework

that helps us both uncover

128

all of those things about you.

129

Jo: And you've talked about losing

your confidence when clothes that once

130

felt like an armor no longer fitted.

131

What did that feel like?

132

What does that mean for you?

133

Alex: So when I had my daughter I

always call it an identity crisis

134

'cause it's like you're so…

135

I was so used to p- particularly having

worked in the fashion industry for such a

136

long time as well, and clothes were a big

part of my armor and how I showed up, and

137

such a big part of my job and my role and

138

And my body shape completely

changed on, becoming a mum.

139

And also, I was h- going through that

real identity crisis, within of who

140

am I now that I'm a mum, but who am

I now that this industry no longer

141

aligns in the way that it used to?

142

So I think it was both of those things

was a bit the perfect storm in some ways.

143

So it did, it really knocked my

confidence, and I think training to be a

144

personal stylist actually really helped

me in that process of reconnecting to

145

who I am because it got me back to,

what is it that I actually love and,

146

it doesn't matter what, 'cause I was so

accustomed to needing to know what was

147

trending for that particular season in

my role as a buyer, that I'd again, lost

148

touch with, what is it that I love what

colors bring me joy and what patterns

149

do I like and what shapes do I like, and

what is actually Alex rather than, the

150

buyer or the, the new mum or y- the wife,

151

so I think it was quite a strong

realization when I did my training

152

because I was my own client during my

training, and it was really powerful

153

in my own transformation, and then I

just felt really passionately about

154

sharing that with other women as well.

155

Jo: So most of my listeners are coaches,

'cause this is called Women in the

156

Coaching Arena, although men listen too.

157

Tell us more about why it matters

so much to bring our style into

158

our personal brand, and even

why to build a personal brand.

159

Alex: I actually shared a story today

on my social media, which I think

160

is quite relevant for this question.

161

'Cause I went to a women in business

event, last month in Nottingham, and

162

I didn't know anybody at the event

apart from my client who was one of

163

the women who was running the event.

164

And I felt quite nervous going because

I thought, "Oh gosh, it's a room full

165

of women that I've never met before in

a city I've n- not spent any time in,

166

and it's just a bit, overwhelming."

167

And I walked in, and immediately this

woman came over to me and she said,

168

"Oh, can I ask what your name is?"

169

And I said, "Oh, it's Alex."

170

And she said, "Oh my God, I've

been listening to you on a podcast

171

literally this morning, and I

recognized you as soon as you walked

172

in from what you were wearing."

173

And that, in that mument, it just

helped me to really relax 'cause it

174

was like, oh, there's that familiarity

and somebody knows who I am, even

175

though, I didn't expect to know anybody.

176

And I think that's the power of your

style in building your personal brand

177

because it, it creates that memorability.

178

Whether people have met you before

or whether they've seen you on

179

social media or whatever it is, it's

having that congruence of you as a

180

person and you as a personal brand.

181

And it also creates connection.

182

When I walked into that room,

she connected with me straight

183

away because she recognized, the

colors that I was wearing and

184

just my overall personal brand.

185

And I think we underestimate the power of

style to do that because we've very much

186

been sold the lie by the patriarchy that,

style is frivolous and it's materialistic

187

and it's meaningless and, it's really

materialistic to care about what you look

188

like, and, it, it doesn't mean anything.

189

And I think that keeps us playing

small and that keeps us out of our-

190

Our power essentially.

191

So I think the more intentional we can

be with our style and in building that

192

personal brand that's memorable, where

people remember you way after you've

193

connected in the room with them or on

social media with them, that creates

194

so many more opportunities, 'cause

it's like actually they remember that

195

person that always wears X color or,

statement print or what- whatever your

196

thing is about your signature style.

197

If they're then thinking about, oh, I

need a speaker for this particular event,

198

or, one of my clients I want to refer

to this particular coach or whatever it

199

is they're much more likely to remember

you if you've made an impact with your

200

style and with your personal brand than

if you just blended into the background

201

and, you didn't stand out amongst

however many other coaches were there

202

who do similar things to what you do.

203

Speaker: So tell me more about-

The internal confidence that we can

204

build from dressing in a certain way.

205

So for example, I mentioned to you

when we first met that if I'm ever

206

doing a talk, I always choose red.

207

And actually, I don't choose red very

often, except for if I have a talk.

208

So there obviously is that inbuilt

thing that the confidence will

209

come if I dress in a certain way.

210

So tell us more about that,

and the psychology behind that.

211

Alex: So color is particularly powerful

because it really connects into your,

212

emotions and it's actually really

powerful, not just from a, confidence

213

point of view, but also from a wellbeing

perspective as well, 'cause I think

214

what we naturally do when we're not

feeling, too great about ourselves,

215

or if we're just having a down day or

whatever it is, the weather's rubbish

216

or it can be anything, we naturally

lean towards, black or neutrals

217

or grays or, that kind of thing.

218

And actually it's far more powerful if

we can make those intentional choices

219

of colors that really lift our energy

or bring us joy, and it's gonna look

220

completely different for each individual

person, and this is the real kind

221

of meaning behind dopamine dressing.

222

I think in the press it's been miscoined

as, like, when you wear neons or

223

bright colors, and actually dopamine

dressing is individual for each person.

224

So for one person it could be, those

lovely, gorgeous neutral colors because

225

that's what really brings them joy,

and it's really what lights them up.

226

But for somebody else it could be, all

the bright colors, all the joy from,

227

orange and red and that kind of thing.

228

But it's got to be what's true to you,

because you get that rush of dopamine

229

when it's something that you truly love.

230

So I think we underestimate the power

of color particularly, but there's

231

also the kind of psychological

meaning behind individual colors.

232

So you quite rightly said about red,

'cause red is very much a confident color.

233

It gives you energy, and for me, I

often use it when I'm speaking as

234

well because it's, it lends you that

confidence and it lends you that energy.

235

So I'm a much more, I'm like

an introverted extrovert.

236

So for me, sometimes I can have that

apprehension, before speaking on stage

237

or whatever it is, and actually, you

can really lean on your clothing to

238

support the way that you want to show up.

239

So red is the perfect example of that.

240

But there's lots of other-

ways that you can use it.

241

So for example, we've

spoken as well about green.

242

Green is a very grounding

color, so it's obviously very

243

much associated with nature.

244

So if you want if you're, running an

event or perhaps you're in a Zoom room

245

with people and you want them to feel

calm and you want them to feel grounded,

246

then green is, an amazing color for that.

247

So there's so much more to

unpack with style than just that

248

kind of surface level, what's

trending or that kind of thing.

249

Jo: Yeah.

250

Totally.

251

And like I mentioned to you, I wore green

at my last three in-person events- without

252

even realizing why I kept choosing it.

253

Alex: Yeah.

254

Jo: And I always choose a venue with

loads of light and outdoor space as well.

255

Whereas lots of people, now

have dark trendy venues.

256

Yeah.

257

Whereas I always tend to seek the nature-

258

flowers, beautiful lighting

type of venues instead.

259

Yeah.

260

So yeah, it's interesting how deep and how

many layers there probably are to it all.

261

Alex: I think the more intentional,

and that's so much around my personal

262

brand as well as around, intentional

living and conscious living and doing

263

things intentionally rather than,

we're always all at 100 miles an

264

hour in, the way that the world is,

and we expect things just like that,

265

but actually the more intentional

we can be, the better it is for our

266

mental health and wellbeing as well.

267

So that's a huge part of

the work that I do as well.

268

Jo: Yeah.

269

Totally.

270

So tell us about some mistakes.

271

So many coaches that I work with

maybe do training or they do LinkedIn

272

Lives or speaking on podcasts.

273

What mistakes do you see that we make and

maybe can avoid if we know about them?

274

Alex: I think the biggest one, hands down,

has to be performing, as somebody else or

275

in a way that, you think that you should.

276

It's all those shoulds, I should dress

like this 'cause I'm over 40, or I

277

should wear this 'cause I've got this

particular coloring, or I should wear

278

this 'cause it's the color of the season

and it's trending, or that kind of thing.

279

And actually, you don't end up

feeling that confident because

280

you're not comfortable in yourself.

281

It's not true to the person

that you actually are.

282

You're not being authentic to you.

283

So it can feel like- You're wearing a

costume, and you're dressing up, and

284

you're performing as somebody else,

and that's never going to create that

285

congruence with the audience, either.

286

So I think the more we can connect

to who we are and what we love and

287

wear things that actually we enjoy,

the most important thing for 99.9%

288

of women that I work with is

that they feel comfortable.

289

'Cause you just, you can't feel confident

if you're not comfortable in your clothes.

290

That awful feeling of constantly

adjusting yourself or that fear of

291

"Oh, what are people thinking of me?

292

Have I got this right?"

293

We underestimate the mental

load that takes as well.

294

So I think the more you can get to

know yourself and know your body shape,

295

know your colors, know essentially

what you love the more powerful that

296

is in how you're showing up as well.

297

So I think that's probably my biggest

bit of advice, try and drown out all

298

the noise that we get from social media,

from the press, from friends and family

299

because everybody's got an opinion.

300

But ultimately, your feelings and

your comfort and everything else

301

are the most important thing.

302

Jo: Yeah.

303

And how about if we are on Zoom?

304

It's interesting now to see you

next to me, I'm like, "Oh, no,

305

I should have worn some color."

306

So it's interesting, isn't it, how we

underestimate the impact we can make-

307

So tell us about how what we wear

affects our confidence in showing

308

up, and even on a Zoom screen.

309

Alex: Yeah, absolutely.

310

I think…

311

there's that whole hangover from

post-pandemic of, dressing from the

312

waist upwards and, a lot of people

still do it, and they'll have, I

313

don't know, leggings or gym gear on

the bottom half and then a nice top.

314

And we think we're doing that

for the best, for us because we

315

feel comfortable and whatever.

316

But actually, it's surprising how

much, those clothing choices that

317

we're making can impact the way

that we perform and the way that we

318

behave and the way that we show up.

319

So I see it so often with clients

when we first start working together.

320

They'll say to me, "Oh, I don't really

n- need to bother 'cause I'm just on

321

Zoom, so it doesn't really matter.

322

We underestimate, actually, that

does have a knock-on impact on

323

how we show up and how we perform.

324

There's real science behind it,

it's called enclothed cognition.

325

And there's lots of, tests that have

been done by scientists, with different

326

groups of people where they've told

them that the most famous one is about

327

the doctor's coat, the white coat.

328

So they had two test groups, and one

group was told that the white coat was

329

a doctor's coat, and the other group

were told that it was painter's coat.

330

And the two groups were given the same

kind of exercise to perform, and the

331

group that were told that it was doctor's

coat performed much better, and the group

332

that were told it was painter's coat

performed, not as well as the other group.

333

And it's essentially the way that

your brain activates and performs

334

depending on what that clothing, means

to you and what it creates in terms

335

of your behavior and your performance.

336

So when we do just say to ourselves,

"Oh, it doesn't really matter

337

because I'm working from home, so

I'll just keep in my athleisure.

338

I've got this, really important

meeting that I'm doing on Zoom and

339

I'm gonna intentionally choose the

outfit that makes me feel confident

340

and makes me feel powerful," and

it totally transforms your posture,

341

your body language, your eye contact.

342

It impacts all those different

kind of sensory elements that

343

actually on Zoom are so important.

344

In some ways, it's more important than

when you're in person because you've got

345

that barrier of the screen between you.

346

So it's so powerful.

347

The more intentional

we can be, the better.

348

Jo: I remember when I used to do career

coaching, I used to say to people,

349

"Always wear shoes in your interviews-

Yeah … that are on Zoom because

350

it makes you feel more dressed up."

351

So put your high heels on,

actually dress for the interview.

352

Don't just rock up on Zoom any old how.

353

Very true.

354

So it's, it's a good reminder

that we still need to do

355

that in our business as well.

356

Alex: I did it during lockdown.

357

I got into a bit of a rut with, I

had a one-year-old at home with me,

358

and my husband was going out to work.

359

He actually had to

physically go into work.

360

And so I was left at home trying

to juggle everything with this

361

child who was trying to walk and,

it was just an absolute chaos.

362

And so I didn't, I ended up in

this rut of kind of not making as

363

much effort 'cause I wasn't going

anywhere, I wasn't leaving the house.

364

And it just, I noticed with

my mental health it wasn't

365

making me feel great at all.

366

So I had a word with myself, and I

was like, "What would I say to my

367

clients or, what advice would I give?"

368

And so I started to reach for all of

my favorite pieces within my wardrobe

369

that I hadn't been wearing, and I

made sure that I was doing a full

370

face of makeup and it was amazing the

difference that it made, just Feeling

371

pulled together and polished and putting

on a silk shirt and a nice skirt.

372

And then the way that I was showing up on

my Zoom calls was so much better, and I

373

just felt in a much more positive mindset.

374

And it was such a great reminder to myself

how powerful this work is, because we do

375

definitely underestimate, that kind of

mental load and how it's making us feel,

376

and those voices that are running on

script in the back of our minds that we

377

often don't realize how powerful it is.

378

Jo: And I suppose another thing

that might be on people's minds

379

is the money that they might need

to spend on these new clothes-

380

… Especially if they may be

starting out in business.

381

And you talk a lot about sustainable

fashion, so I love the fact that

382

it's actually getting trendy

to wear secondhand clothes now.

383

Alex: Yeah.

384

Speaker: So tell us more about

how you can build that wardrobe

385

without spending a fortune.

386

Alex: I've had clients say to me before

after we've finished working together,

387

they've saved 5,000, 10,000 pounds

a year from being more intentional.

388

So I think the more intentional

you can get, obviously, the more

389

money you save because you're not

just going out, spending every week

390

buying things for the sake of it.

391

You're actually thinking about,

what do I actually need, and,

392

what's missing from my wardrobe?

393

So that's a huge part of it.

394

But also, just the savings

on finding things secondhand.

395

So almost having it as your default to

search on Vinted or have your favorite

396

kind of pre-loved sellers that you look

for pieces that you're missing in your

397

wardrobe, or even going to your local

charity shop and just having a rummage.

398

That's definitely not everybody's cup of

tea because it takes a certain type of

399

person, I think, to go in and find things.

400

I quite often have people

say to me like, "Oh, God.

401

How do you find…"

402

If I say, "Oh, this is

from a charity shop."

403

They're like, "I never find stuff

like that in my charity shop.

404

How do you find stuff?"

405

And it's just, I think I'm obviously

very lucky 'cause I've got a very

406

trained eye to, pick things out that

perhaps other people wouldn't even see.

407

But that's the beauty of

Vinted and platforms like that.

408

And even, finding…

409

when I started my journey with being

more sustainable, I found pre-loved

410

sellers on Instagram, and I just started

following some of my favorites that

411

kind of resonated with my own style.

412

And they've all got websites, and

then, I would see things that were

413

coming up that they were selling.

414

It was a really great way for me to

find, amazing pieces that nobody else

415

had but at a fraction of the price.

416

I'm connected with some incredible,

vintage and pre-loved sellers.

417

Like Phoenix Style is one of my favorites

for kind of more premium pieces.

418

I interviewed her on my podcast

recently actually, and we were having

419

a discussion about she just doesn't

really buy anything new anymore because

420

she was using the example of jeans

actually and saying, designer jeans or

421

more premium jeans are so expensive.

422

But actually, the cut and the fit and

the quality is much more superior than if

423

you- you're shopping on the high street.

424

But you can get them for kind of

50% off the retail price if you buy

425

them secondhand, and they're still

in such amazing condition because

426

they are better quality and, cut

better and all that kind of thing.

427

So that's another benefit that you

can actually end up having a much

428

more kind of curated forever wardrobe

by buying secondhand because you can

429

afford to get those more premium brands

that actually a lot of us probably

430

don't have the budget to buy them new.

431

But when you're shopping secondhand you

can actually get better quality pieces.

432

Jo: Yeah.

433

Totally.

434

That's always my preference is to buy

secondhand good, well-made clothes

435

versus- … buy loads of cheap

stuff that doesn't quite fit right.

436

Alex: Yeah,

437

Speaker: And when we talked about

thinking about what I was gonna

438

wear for my next event- you sent

me all of these rental places.

439

I didn't even know- Yeah … they

existed, so I'm just mentioning that in

440

case anybody else needs to know-… that

actually you can also just hire a dress

441

for three to five days or something-

Yeah … for a special occasion.

442

Alex: Yeah, and it just makes so much

sense for occasions, 'cause I think that's

443

often where we spend the most money, is on

those kind of one-off pieces that actually

444

you're probably not gonna wear again,

or, you might wear it once or twice.

445

And actually, we should be investing

the kind of majority of our money

446

on the things that we are gonna wear

every day or on a regular basis,

447

rather than spending it on something

that we'll only wear once or twice.

448

So that's why I love the whole idea

of rental for occasion, because it

449

means that you still get to have

that kind of real statement beautiful

450

piece, but you don't have to commit

to have it in your wardrobe, forever.

451

Jo: I buy things when I'm going to an

event, and I never really think about

452

the day-to-day stuff that I wear.

453

I only think- Yeah … i've

got, two outfits a year,

454

'cause I do two events a year.

455

Yeah.

456

Let's splash out on these.

457

Alex: Yeah.

458

Jo: And like you say, once you've worn

them, and 'cause I get video people at

459

my events and things, and then they're

all over socials, you can never really

460

wear them again because you feel-… like

you're so bored of it, and everybody

461

that knows you is so bored of it

'cause they see it online all the time.

462

Yeah.

463

So I love that reframe to actually

prioritize the day to day,

464

rather than the special occasion.

465

Alex: Yeah, definitely.

466

But I think there is also something

to unpick for women especially around-

467

outfit repeating and the fact that

we've been told that we can't outfit

468

repeat and, it's not good to be seen

in the same thing twice, and it's all

469

such a load of BS, to be quite frank.

470

I think it's just that is all part

of the fashion industry feeding, you

471

must buy something new, and we get

stuck in this cycle of needing to go

472

out and buy something new every time.

473

And actually, that's not true because

as we were saying at the beginning

474

about personal brand, the more

memorable you can be, the better.

475

I've got key pieces that I wear on

repeat to several different things,

476

and it's what makes me memorable, and

it's what people remember about me.

477

That form of outfit repeating

is actually really powerful.

478

So I think it's sometimes about

getting creative and thinking about,

479

how could I wear this in a different

way, or how could I repurpose it or

480

dress it up with different accessories

or all of those kind of things, and

481

that's what I work with my clients on.

482

It's like, how can we re-envision

your existing wardrobe?

483

And I often end up creating so many

new outfits from what they've already

484

got 'cause you're so used to you've

just got this tunnel vision of this

485

is how I wear this, and this goes

with this, and you don't even think

486

about, like, all the other options

that you could create from it.

487

So that, again, is something

that helps you to save money.

488

But it also helps with that overwhelm

as well because it actually makes you

489

realize, I have got so much here that

I can create so much more from And

490

once we strip out all the bits that

you're not actually wearing and we

491

focus in on what you've actually got,

it's surprising what you can create.

492

Often, less is more in a lot of cases.

493

Jo: So on that point, how about

the decision fatigue that we have

494

on a day-to-day basis, therefore

we just get the same thing that we

495

wore yesterday or just trust the

old stuff 'cause we just- don't have

496

time to think about what to wear.

497

What can help in those circumstances?

498

Alex: I definitely recommend taking

a bit of time each season to do a bit

499

of a detox of your wardrobe because

we hold onto so much that we don't

500

wear, and so many of us are wearing

20% of our wardrobe 80% of the time.

501

And if you think about, when you open

your wardrobe in the morning, if there's

502

80% of that you're not actually wearing

and it's taking up head space as well as

503

physical space, if we can clear through

that and actually be realistic about…

504

'Cause we're so often holding onto things

that, I'll fit into that one day, or

505

I'll wear that for a special occasion,

or I'm saving it for that one day when,

506

and that never, ever actually transpires.

507

So I think the more intentional

we can be about do I actually wear

508

it, do I love it, do I need it?

509

Does it fit me?

510

Do I love it?

511

When am I gonna wear it?

512

And if you can't honestly answer

those three questions about, those

513

items in your wardrobe, then it's

time to let them go with love.

514

So once you've done that detox, if you

put everything back in the wardrobe

515

facing the same direction, and then

each time you take something out to

516

wear it, you switch the direction of

the hanger around the opposite way.

517

And then give yourself a certain time

period, whether that's a month or three

518

months or whatever it is, and at the

end of that time period, you can see

519

what you're actually wearing, and it

will really quickly highlight to you

520

what you're wearing and what you're not.

521

And then you can think about why

you're not wearing those other

522

pieces, and it's actually a really

powerful way of seeing that.

523

Jo: Oh my goodness, I'm writing notes.

524

I need to do all of this stuff

because I have no idea what

525

I wear and what I don't wear.

526

And I'm terrible at chucking things away

'cause I think, it's absolutely fine.

527

Nothing wrong with it."

528

Yeah.

529

S- But at the same time, when I moved

house and we had sold one place, and we

530

hadn't quite completed on the other house.

531

So anyway, we were essentially homeless

living at my dad's in this tiny room.

532

And therefore I was living

out of this suitcase.

533

And it was just the best time

of my life because I had the two

534

pairs of trousers, five tops.

535

I liked them all.

536

They all made me feel good 'cause they

were all new at the time, and I…

537

And different colors, and I think my

sister bought me them all actually.

538

So again, somebody else had

bought me something that I would

539

never normally wear myself.

540

And it was just so nice not to have to

hunt through your wardrobe and crammed

541

in stuff because you've got- Yeah

542

so much stuff you can't actually

find the really good stuff.

543

Alex: Even…

544

and we all do it.

545

I am guilty of it.

546

I was thinking the other day, I'm quite

good at doing sort of detoxes at the

547

beginning of each season, and then I make

a bit of a wish list of anything that

548

I'm particularly wanting for that season.

549

But I thought the other day, I was

really struggling to get my dresses

550

out of the wardrobe, and I thought,

I need to tr- actually have…

551

make the time to try some of

these on, 'cause I don't think

552

I'm wearing half of them."

553

So we all do it.

554

We can all quite easily get stuck in that

place, and it's just making some time.

555

And even if, you just put aside half

an hour and you do one kind of product

556

category each weekend or something.

557

Do your dresses one day, do your

tops another day, and make it kind of

558

bite-size and break it down so it's not…

559

doesn't seem like this big

overwhelming task that you have to do.

560

Jo: So switching gears a little bit now

into you and your business, because-… I

561

don't think I've even told you this,

but I use you as an example for my

562

clients all the time in how- … great

you are at sales and without a tool,

563

like everyone will hear you, but you're

not a pushy person in any respect.

564

And that's why I think it's so outstanding

how you do sales in particular.

565

So for example, I bought from you

because you suggested a market

566

research call, which is something I

talk to all of my clients about doing.

567

And so many people resist because they

think, I already know my ideal client.

568

God, you're not gonna make me do

more market research calls, are you?"

569

And nobody really wants to do this.

570

No.

571

And nobody's also that effective in

following up, because I suppose- … we

572

go into market research saying,

"This isn't a sales pitch."

573

Alex: Yeah.

574

Jo: So tell us about

your approach to sales.

575

Alex: Oh, it's definitely been something

that is not my kind of strong point.

576

And I think being naturally, slightly

more introverted, it's definitely

577

been something that I've had to, work

on and find my way of doing things.

578

And I've definitely had experiences

with coaches in the past that kind of-

579

Almost taught me the way

I don't want to do things.

580

I've been in programs before, like I

did something, I think it was around

581

2021, and I had this coach, and she used

to be a stylist, and she was, had this

582

program, I think it was called like Six

Figure Stylist or something like that.

583

But it was very much like a cookie

cutter, this is how you do it and this

584

is how you create your six figure thing.

585

And it was all about, bombarding

people and direct messaging them,

586

and it wasn't my way of doing things.

587

Like I've always been about building

relationships and actually connecting

588

with people, and not, I hate that

kind of spammy, like cold messaging

589

people and that kind of thing.

590

It's just not my way of doing things.

591

It might work for other people, but I

think that's what I've learned over the

592

past kind of six, seven years is like

it has to resonate with me as a person,

593

and I have to feel comfortable with it.

594

Because, the person on the receiving

end is probably gonna feel, if I feel

595

icky about how I'm doing something,

they're gonna feel like that as well.

596

So I think now everything that I do is

genuinely in service or it's the way

597

that I feel comfortable doing it, and I

think we massively underestimate that.

598

And actually, that could be

completely wrong for you, because

599

that might not suit your personality

and your way of doing things.

600

So I think that's probably the

biggest thing that I've learned.

601

Jo: And another thing I've noticed that

you do is go out a lot, or like network.

602

Tell us more about how you find the

right events, how you find the courage

603

to go to these networking events

where maybe you don't know people.

604

Alex: Yeah, I think it's been such

a journey for me, and I think it's

605

something that I underestimated

about myself was that…

606

And it was something actually that

probably got highlighted to me when

607

I worked at Amazon, 'cause they

were very much about, leadership

608

principles and what your strengths are.

609

And it really got reflected back to me

that mine was very much relationships,

610

and earning trust was one of their

kind of leadership pillars, and

611

that was one of my big strengths.

612

And I'd never really kind of- I

don't know, thought that about

613

myself or recognized that in myself.

614

And so that obviously directly

translates very well into networking

615

and connecting with people in person.

616

And the same happened, w- when I left

'cause I actually worked part-time

617

alongside my business for the first

three years 'cause I had that kind of

618

nervousness of leaving that regular

income and all of that kind of thing.

619

So I saw it as a massive

opportunity when I left my job

620

and took my business full time.

621

Oh my God, I've got all this time.

622

I can actually go out and network

and meet people in person.

623

So I saw it as a really big opportunity,

but I think actually the mistake

624

that I made for the first year or

two was I went to lots of different

625

things, and some of them weren't

necessarily the right rooms for me.

626

It wasn't, where my ideal client

would be hanging out, or even just the

627

right kind of people, that I wanted

to connect with personally as well.

628

So I very quickly learned that

actually my time is precious as a

629

business owner, and I need to be really

focused and really intentional about

630

the rooms that I'm choosing and the

people that I'm connecting with and,

631

as you said, like following up with

people as well because it's very easy

632

to find yourself busying yourself

being in all these different places.

633

And then if you don't actually connect

with people one-to-one on a personal

634

level as well afterwards, then it

can feel a bit pointless to, be going

635

out into those rooms if you're not

following up with people as well.

636

So I think I've massively learned over

the last few years to be very intentional

637

with the rooms that I'm choosing aligning

them with not only, is my ideal client

638

in that room, or are these people

connected to my ideal client, but also

639

is this room aligned with me in terms of

my values and my purpose and my mission

640

and all of that kind of thing, and

the same with collaborations as well.

641

I've collaborated with people in the

past that perhaps in hindsight weren't

642

necessarily the best fit, whether

that's from a work ethic point of

643

view, like I'm a very, What's the word?

644

Conscientious, and, I always put my

everything into everything that I do, and

645

I learnt very quickly that not everybody

has the same kind of qualities in them.

646

So I think, again, when you're doing

collaborations and that kinda thing,

647

it's really important to think all of

that through and really get to know that

648

person and know that they're aligned

with you in terms of the way that they

649

work and what they're putting into it.

650

And, even down to, marketing and

things like that, I'm very consistent

651

with my marketing and I put a

lot of time and effort into it.

652

And I think when you collaborate

with somebody who isn't, you can

653

then quite easily end up doing

all of the work if you're, putting

654

on event or something like that.

655

So I think the more discerning

you can be the better.

656

Jo: So true, and I think that's

probably why I've hardly ever

657

collaborated with anyone because it-

658

feels like really hard to find a match-

… that will be at the same sort of level or

659

work as hard as you might work on things.

660

Yeah.

661

So I really do hear you on that, and

it's a massive area I'd like to work

662

on, but it feels like hard work due

to all of the things- Yeah … that

663

Alex: you just covered

664

Jo: definitely.

665

Yeah.

666

So another thing that you have done

recently is shift your offer and make

667

your own signature method, and be brave

enough to make it quite different.

668

So tell us more about that, 'cause

I often talk to clients about

669

creating their own signature method.

670

Alex: Yeah, so I very much started

my business in the same way that most

671

stylists do, and I was offering, one-off

services, like color analysis and shopping

672

and wardrobe edits and things like that.

673

And it served me in the beginning.

674

But I quite quickly realized that I am,

the way that I work and my gifts, if you

675

like, are that I am, a much deeper person,

the way that I see the world and the way

676

that I do things, and I'm actually really

brilliant at creating transformations

677

for people, and I just wasn't able to

do that with those one-off services.

678

So both for me and for my ideal client,

I wanted to create something that would

679

create that lasting transformation.

680

So I started to offer packages

within my business and, have,

681

a much more intentional way of

providing those services that

682

would create those transformations.

683

And then, I evolved again, more

recently and what I was saying at

684

the beginning about how I've used

my own lived experience in terms of

685

personal development and different

modalities that have been really

686

effective for my own identity work

and evolution and transformation.

687

And I've created my own identity

framework that I now use with my

688

clients, and brought that into each

of my packages to make sure that we're

689

really getting to know who the person

is, from the inside out, before we

690

then translate that into their style.

691

'Cause I really strongly believe

that if you don't do that, then the

692

results just aren't going to last.

693

And not only that, it's just such a

powerful process to go through, and

694

I just really strongly believe that

that will shift a lot for people.

695

The women that I work with tend to be,

more established coaches or speakers

696

or that kind of thing, and they're

really having to be quite visible a

697

lot of the time in what they're doing.

698

And I think it's really important

to understand yourself and, how you

699

communicate, the best way that you

show up, and all of those things.

700

But for me, it's been a huge kind of

stepping out of my comfort zone, because

701

I had that fear of judgment, of what

are people gonna think about using all

702

these different modalities, like human

design, and astrology, and numerology,

703

and things that, I had that fear of will

people still think I'm credible if I'm

704

a bit woo-woo, and all of those kind

of things that go through your head.

705

I've seen the results of working

with clients in this way and seen

706

how powerful it is, and that's been

really reassuring, and it's made me

707

feel like, yes, this is definitely,

the way forward in terms of my method.

708

Jo: I think choosing and stepping

into what you really love and how

709

you do it differently is so powerful.

710

And also, just to reiterate your earlier

point about trust, because I think loads

711

of people think that marketing or sales

is sleazy, so I just love that actually

712

trust is the core pinnacle of all of this

stuff that we have to do, make sales.

713

And actually, what better than to

know yourself, be yourself, act

714

in alignment with your values-

715

and build real trust with your audience?

716

Alex: Yeah.

717

Speaker: And so tell us about

your TEDx talk, 'cause I

718

haven't heard much about this.

719

When was it?

720

How did you feel doing it?

721

Tell us more.

722

Alex: I did it in 2024, and it was

all around, my personal journey.

723

It was Are You a Slave

to Fashion was the title.

724

So it was all about, my journey,

recognizing that I was a big part

725

of the problem, and then working

towards creating more positive impact.

726

And it was really interesting

actually, 'cause I learned so much

727

about myself during that process.

728

It's a very intense kind

of six months or so.

729

And such an amazing opportunity 'cause

you get coached and, it depends on,

730

the particular area that you're doing

it in as to what that particular team

731

does during the preparation time.

732

I was very fortunate to have an

executive coach who, it's her day job

733

that she helps women in, speaking and

voice work and all that kind of thing.

734

So she was amazing in, advice and

helping us with our scripts and writing

735

and then obviously practicing, how

we were going to actually perform.

736

And we had, one of her friends as a,

what she calls herself, but like a voice,

737

and performance coach for the West End.

738

And she came in and did a session with us

that was much more, creative and expansive

739

and getting you out of your tunnel vision

with your script and getting you into your

740

body and, like, how you breathe and how

you perform and all of that kind of thing.

741

Having all of that

experience was just amazing.

742

And I'm sure it's helped me a

lot in all of the, speaking and

743

things that I've done since.

744

But it was really powerful in getting

to know myself as well and going through

745

that process, 'cause it's probably the

scariest thing that I've ever done.

746

And also really interesting as well,

'cause you have to really do your

747

research and have your, What's it called?

748

References for, all the information

that you get because Ted's very

749

strict on that, so you can't just,

make things up and have your opinion.

750

So you can have your opinion, but it has

to be grounded in, facts and evidence.

751

They've got a lot of different guidelines

on what you can and can't, say, and

752

you have to have your references.

753

So for me, it was really interesting

because I did lots of research into,

754

fast fashion, and one thing that really

stood out for me with my topic was,

755

we all assume that a lot of the kind

of consumers of fast fashion are young

756

people that have a much lower disposable

income and, they want to be up with the

757

latest trends, and actually, when I was

looking at the research, Shein's average

758

customer is a 35-year-old woman

who earns £60,000 plus on average.

759

Gosh.

760

So it's very…

761

Our perception is often very

different to the reality.

762

Jo: Yeah, totally.

763

Oh, I would have thought,

yeah, it was 20-year-olds-

764

Alex: Yeah

765

… Jo: who are just somehow just getting

loads of clothes to wear each weekend.

766

That's insane.

767

Alex: Exactly.

768

Jo: Wow.

769

So if someone is listening right now

and is maybe nervous about visibility

770

or wants to take a step towards

building their own personal style,

771

what advice would you give them?

772

Alex: I think for me, it always just

comes back to that being yourself

773

on purpose and, not feeling like

you have to show up as somebody else

774

or do it in somebody else's way.

775

I think the more that you can

be yourself and feel comfortable

776

with that, for me, I've never been

jazz hands, really extroverted,

777

and I'm never gonna be like that.

778

And I think for a long time I pushed

against that and thought, almost beat

779

myself up about, "You're too quiet,"

and, "You're not loud enough," and

780

actually, when I just recognize what

my own strengths are and the way that I

781

perform at my best and, things like TEDx

and all sorts of different things have

782

helped me to find what that is for me.

783

I think, definitely working with

experts who can bring that out for you

784

is really powerful, 'cause sometimes

it's quite hard to see for yourself

785

and, see your strengths and see the

best way to bring that out for you.

786

So I think definitely leaning on

experts to collapse that timeline for

787

you can be really powerful as well.

788

Jo: Oh, love it.

789

Totally.

790

And you're such a good model of it

as well, so just listening to this

791

conversation, I think, will be eye-opening

for so many people that feel like we

792

need to be performing online or doing

something crazy on Instagram or something.

793

Alex: Dancing.

794

Jo: Exactly, yeah.

795

No, I've never been able to do

anything like that myself either.

796

Alex: No.

797

Speaker: So where can people

find you if they want to get

798

to know you and your work more?

799

Alex: I've also got a podcast as well,

which is a great place to start if you

800

want to find out more about we talk not

just about style, but about, running

801

a business, living an intentional

life, sustainability, personal

802

brand, lots of different things, so.

803

Speaker: Oh, love it.

804

Thank you so much.

805

So I'm gonna have a go

at quick-fire questions.

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Let's see how you get on with this.

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One item every woman should

have in her wardrobe?

808

Alex: Something that she

loves that, you know…

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I hate to be, like, really prescriptive

about, you should have this, 'cause I

810

think it's so individual for each person,

so I definitely say something that

811

lights you up and that you really love

812

Speaker: Okay, love it.

813

High Street or designer?

814

Alex: Oh, neither I think for me.

815

I think for me, shopping like pre-loved

and secondhand is the best way to

816

create your own unique sense of style.

817

Speaker: Biggest style myth?

818

Alex: It's not necessarily style,

but I think it's this kind of,

819

particularly for women, this kind

of beauty ideal that we've all

820

been sold to that, and it changes,

depending on the particular decade.

821

So for me growing up it was

like heroin chic and everybody

822

has to be, skinny and thin and,

androgynous and that kind of thing.

823

And then, more recently it's been the

Kardashians, and you have to have a

824

big bum and curves and all of this.

825

And all of it, no matter what it

is at that particular time, is just

826

completely unrealistic and not real.

827

So I think it, I'm very much about

people embracing who they are and

828

what their body shape is, and not

trying to conform to this perfect

829

style that doesn't actually exist.

830

Jo: Love it.

831

Okay, heels or flats?

832

Alex: Flats, definitely.

833

Jo: Ooh, interesting.

834

Alex: I used to wear heels more for,

as we've said, like performing and

835

important meetings and stuff like that.

836

But just for practicality now, I'm,

like, running around a lot and wearing

837

a lot of different hats, so I don't

tend to wear them very much at all.

838

Speaker: Oh, totally.

839

Okay, last one.

840

One color every coach should own?

841

Ooh.

842

Alex: I think it has to be

something that's meaningful to

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you that really lights you up.

844

So you know, it can be so different

depending on the individual.

845

For me, it's red, like

that's my go-to power color.

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So whatever your go-to thing is that

makes you feel powerful and makes you

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feel confident, go for that because

that's what's gonna be your go-to color.

848

Jo: Love it, and it's just super

inspiring how your intentionality has

849

fed into every single thing we've covered

today, even the quick fire options.

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So well done for passing

the quick fire test.

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Thank you so much, Alex.

852

Alex: It's been brilliant.

853

Thank you for having me.

854

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

Thank you so much for listening to this

855

episode of Women in the Coaching Arena.

856

I have a mess of free resources on

my website joannalottcoaching.com.

857

That's Joanna with an A

and Lott with two T's.

858

joannalottcoaching.com.

859

And I'll also put links in the show notes.

860

Let me know if you found

this episode useful.

861

Share it with a friend and

leave me a review, and I will

862

personally thank you for that.

863

Remember to trust yourself, believe

in yourself and be the wise Gardner

864

who keeps on watering the seed.

865

Get into the arena dare, greatly and try.