75: Go Make Some Lolipop Moments: Back To School Series

Carol: You're listening to the counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy. I'm Carol Miller, your host. I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students. If you're looking for a little inspiration to help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place because we're better together.

Carol: Ready to chat?

Carol: Let's dive in.

Carol: Hi everyone, it's Carol. Welcome back to another episode of Counselor chat. Today we are going to continue our back to school series. If you haven't tuned in to our back to school series, I would love for you to go back and give them a listen right from the start. It's really this is what we're focusing in on this August. Episode 72 is all about our school counselor habits and why they're so important. 73 is tales from a train station where we really talk about how to make sure that we are seen and we slow down a little bit to make sure that people know what we're doing. And last week's episode really was all about leadership tips from the dancing guy. And it's if you haven't, like I said, if you haven't listened, I hope that you go back and give each of those a listen. They have some really great advice as we head back into the school year. These are lessons that I keep very close to heart because they ground me and I think they really make me a better counselor. Today, our episode is all about connections. And as we start talking about connections, I just want to say that as school counselors, we hear a lot about collecting data and using the data and proving our effectiveness with the use of data. But here's a news flash. Not everything that we do can be measured with data. I mean, there are so many things that we do. There are so many ways that we impact the kids that we are working with that we just can't measure because we may not even see the effects of those things that we've done with them, whether they're words or just sitting with kids in silence when they're having like a moment of all the feels. And it may not be until years later when they come back to us and they say, hey, misses Miller, I want you to know that what you did, it really meant the world to me. You helped me so much. And when you've been a counselor for a while, you will start to notice those kids that are, that they come back and they let you know. And I'll tell you, it's usually years later. And like I said, you can't measure that. There's no way to go back and report that, hey, I made a difference and the life of this kid. So we just have to keep moving forward, and we have to know that it's through our connections that we make this impact that data can't measure. Today's episode is really all about our connections. There are lots of ways, I think, that we can be connected with students. Whether it's like I said, teaching them a class lesson or listening to them when they are maybe grieving, it is being there for them. When they've encountered some rocky roads, it's maybe not even saying anything. Maybe it's just being there for them and sitting with them when they need it. But our connections, they're super important. As you are headed back, it reminds me of, I have to stop what I'm doing, and I'm going to ask them if there's something that they need, or I listen to the story that they want to tell me or the complaint that they have, and then I have to ask them. Sometimes, are you just venting to me or are we going to try to solve a problem? Because sometimes they just need to vent. But I want to focus on what they need at the moment, and I think that's really crucial. There are plenty of times where I, and I have said this in other podcast episodes, I could get there late. And when I had younger kids and my kids, I had to take them to school and drop them off at, like, before school program before I started my day. There's three of them, and I had twins, and they're all two years apart with my older guy. So having three kids within two years is a lot. And that also means that they don't always get along. And it was a guarantee just about every morning that someone was going to be in a bad mood. Whether it was me or one of them, somebody was going to be in a bad mood, which could mean for a very painful car ride to where we were going, because it was like, you're late, you're late. We got to go. You haven't eaten your breakfast. Grab a granola bar, get in the car. Let's go. It's all those things. And if you're a mom, you probably know what I'm talking about. But those little moments can be really stressful. Not to mention if your husband or partner travels somewhere. And now it's just you with the three kids. Or if there's something else that's going on, or maybe someone's sick, or maybe you're not quite feeling well, maybe your head is pounding because you didn't sleep enough the night before, or you spent so much time with talking to one of your girlfriends the day before that you've lost track of time and you're sleep deprived. There could be any number of things. Maybe your parent is unwell and you've been helping them while raising your own family. Been there, done that. And all these things can really get to us. They can change us. They can have an effect on our. Our personalities, on our feelings, our thoughts, what our minds are preoccupied with. And we start the day sometimes with those things that are going on in our lives. But we have to remember that our job is all about connections, and we have to remember that the person in front of us really does matter. It took me, I think, a long time to kind of understand that, but when I started becoming more mindful of that, it really did change things so, so much. And like I said at the very beginning, we don't know when we're going to have an impact on a kid. There's a YouTube video, and if you haven't seen it, I'm going to drop the link to it. It's all about those lollipop moments. And if you don't know what a lollipop moment is, you really need to watch this video. But it's about a man who goes on to explain that he used to work at a college and do all these things. And he remembers one time where this young woman was with her mom and dad, and they were in line. They were just getting to school. It was like, you know, oriented. And she was really not feeling it. She wasn't in a good mood. She was grouchy. She must have had this look on her face, like, I don't really want to be here. And he went over and noticed that there was another young guy behind her in line. And he went up to the guy and he's like, here. Here's a lollipop. I think you need to give this lollipop to this young lady. And that whole experience really had a profound transformation on this young lady's entire school process, because as it goes on, she was about ready to just quit and go back home and not go to school. She didn't want to be there. She felt uncomfortable. She felt like she just wanted to be invisible. And by his actions of going up and kind of starting a conversation with not her, but this other person who then went on to converse with her, really made a transformation. It made a difference. It was so much, in fact, that as it goes on, this woman goes on to say to him, listen, I had to come back to you years later to let you know about this experience and the profound impact you made on my life by this lollipop. And the guy goes on to say, like, I don't even remember this. Like, this was not something that's stored in my brain and registered. Like, it was, like, an impactful moment. It was just something I did. And I think as school counselors, we have those things. We don't really sometimes realize that we're making these impacts. We just do it. But because of this moment in time, this young lady finished college, and she actually sought this man out to let him know of this impact he made. In fact, it was so great that now she was actually marrying this guy that gave her the lollipop, the one that he just picked from a crowd to say, hey, I think you need to give this other girl a lolly. And she wanted him to go to their wedding because of the impact that it had made. And I think we miss out on these moments if we are focused on other things, because it is so easy to get wrapped up in the things that we're doing that sometimes we miss out on opportunities. We miss out on identifying the needs of other people. We miss out on understanding what someone might need from us. So we have to be mindful in the moment that we're in, because, like this man made on this young lady, he made a lollipop moment. He created a moment in time that was so impactful that it wasn't noticed in daily life, because it was just something that he did, because he noticed her. He was mindful of the situation that he was in to notice that he was upset, and he created a movement to make change. So, my friends, what I'm trying to get at is, no matter what's going on in your life, sometimes we have to take a second. I was talking about my kids a little bit ago, and my kids, yeah, they would sometimes really get to me. And I am notorious for being late. The last one in the parking lot on the way to school. And sometimes I would just need to take the extra moment, send them inside, and take another moment for myself. I mean, I was already late. So what's another 30 seconds? Just so that I could take a second to switch my mindset, to be more aware of what was going on around me. Because when I walked through the doors in the morning, I wanted to be mindful of the person that was going to be stepping in front of me. When I'm at home, I'm pretty mindful of my kids. I'm trying to solve the problems. I'm trying to do all the things, make sure they're fed, make sure they're watered, doing all the things that the moms do. But at school, I have to be mindful of the people that are in front of me, whether they're the kids, whether they're the teachers, whether it's the men that's popping in to see what's going on. But when we do that, we really create these lollipop moments. And my friends, don't worry about the data. Not all the data. I mean, there's some data we're going to look at and we're going to really see and provide interventions that we hope to improve. Data numbers. There's a lot of data that's just not measured. And it's because of these moments in time that we make. So, my friends, here's to having a really great year of making lots of lollipop moments. Think about that. Go make some awesome lollipop moments. You won't even know that you're making them, but go do it. So when you are feeling bad and you're feeling like my day is awful, just think about maybe some of the lollipop moments that you've already made, and I hope that inspires you to make some more. Until next time, my friends, I hope you have a really great week. For now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and@counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit, follow, or subscribe on your favorite podcast player. And if you would be so kind to leave a review, I'd really appreciate, appreciate it. Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at counseling essentials until next time. Can't wait till we chat. Bye for now.

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