The glow-up doesn’t start with doing more.

It starts when you stop lying to yourself.

In this episode, Yaya breaks down the quiet lies women tell themselves that keep them stuck, from imposter syndrome to self-sabotage and exposes the inner mean girl that disguises fear as logic.

If you’ve been saying you want more confidence, more visibility, or more alignment… but keep waiting for the “right time,” this note will help you get honest, release the fear underneath, and finally move forward.

Inside this note, you’ll learn:

1. How imposter syndrome actually shows up (and why it’s not a flaw)
2. The difference between being “practical” and being afraid
3. How your inner mean girl keeps you playing small
4. Why honesty is the real starting point for confidence
5. The mindset shift that unlocks real momentum

If this episode resonated, make sure you subscribe to the She’s Limitless Insider email newsletter for bi-weekly confidence reminders, pep talks, and growth tools.

Hey, girl.

Hey.

Welcome back to Notes to her the daily pep talk.

I'm Yaya your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you stop talking yourself out of the life you want and and start walking like the woman that you're becoming.

And since we're officially in a new year, I want to say this out loud because I know there is so much pressure to become a brand new version of yourself overnight.

New year, new goals, new routines, new personality.

But if you listen to the last note, then you already know this truth.

You don't need to start perfect.

You don't need a flawless plan.

You don't need to have it all figured out.

But today, today we're going to talk about what does need to happen if you want to glow up this year.

Because this glow up doesn't start with doing more.

It actually starts when you stop lying to yourself.

Now, most women say they want confidence.

They say they want growth.

They want to be that girl unapologetically.

But what they hesitate to do is to get honest about the ways that they have been holding themselves back.

So instead, they lie to themselves.

And a lot of times they don't even realize that they're doing it.

They might say things like, I'm just not ready yet.

I just need to learn more first.

You know, it's probably just bad timing.

That's just not my personality.

Or I'll do it when I feel more comfortable.

But if we're being real, those aren't facts.

Those are excuses I like to call fear.

Sentences dressed up as logic.

And the glow up cannot begin while you're still protecting the line.

So there was a season in my life where I wanted everything, like the new career, the business, the confidence, the stability, the glow up I had the vision board, the affirmations, the passion, the desire.

But every time it was time to act, I found a reason to wait.

I'll start next month.

Things are busy.

I'll do it after I save more money or I'll stop posting.

Once I'm more consistent, I'll launch after X, Y and Z changes.

And the wild part is I believed every single excuse that I told myself.

I thought I was being practical, responsible, wise.

But here's the truth that I didn't want to admit.

I wasn't scared of the work and I wasn't scared of the dream.

But I was scared of the result not matching the vision.

Because if I never tried, I never had to face the possibility that maybe it wouldn't work.

And girl, that lie was comfortable.

Because later doesn't challenge you later.

Doesn't stretch you later.

Doesn't expose you later.

Lets you hide.

And then there was one day.

I was journaling.

I was flipping back through old pages, and I realized I had written the same dream every month for almost a year.

Same goal, same desire, same wording, just rewritten, not lived out.

And it hit me so hard that I had to close the journal.

It wasn't light holding me back.

It wasn't timing holding me back.

It wasn't lack of confidence.

It was a lie that I kept telling myself.

I'll start once I'm ready.

When the truth was, I wasn't waiting on readiness.

I was waiting on certainty.

And that day, I had to sit with a question that really changed everything.

I asked myself, what if the only thing standing in between me and my glow up is a lie that I keep using to protect my fear?

Now, let's talk about imposter syndrome for a second, because this is where a whole lot of the lines start.

Imposter syndrome usually shows up when you're stepping into something new, when you're raising your standards, when you're being seen in a bigger way, or when you're no longer hiding behind what's familiar.

And here's a part that a lot of women don't understand.

Imposter syndrome isn't a sign that you're incapable.

It's your nervous system's response to growth.

So your brain is trying to keep you safe by pulling you back to what's familiar, even if what's familiar isn't aligned anymore.

So imposter syndrome doesn't scream.

It sounds reasonable.

It says, who do you think you are?

Other people are better than you.

You're just going to embarrass yourself.

They're going to find out.

And instead of questioning that voice, a lot of women just start obeying it.

They dim their ideas, they downplay their wins, and they wait for permission that never comes.

And here's something that a lot of people are not going to tell you, but I will.

Imposter syndrome isn't proof that you are unqualified.

It's proof that you are stepping into something that matters.

The lie isn't, I'm not good enough.

The lie is I need to feel confident before I act.

And confidence is built after honesty, not before.

Now let's talk about the voice that's behind the lie.

That's your inner critic.

And I like to call her your inner mean girl.

You know her?

She's not screaming, she's whispering.

She sounds like don't try too hard.

Who are you to want more?

Stay where it's safe.

Let someone else go first.

And a lot of women don't realize that your inner mean girl is protecting you from rejection, from judgment, from being seen, from failing publicly.

But protection that keeps you small is not protection.

It's sabotage.

She thrives on dishonesty because as long as you keep lying about what you want, she doesn't have to let you go after it.

Some of the lies that block the glow up sound like I don't really care that much.

I'm fine where I am.

I'm really not that ambitious.

I. I don't want to be seen anyway.

I like to be in the background.

But if we strip that down, what you're really saying is, I'm scared of wanting something that I might not get.

The glow up starts when you admit, I want more.

I'm tired of hiding.

I don't want to keep playing safe.

And I'm done lying about what I desire.

Honesty looks like same.

I've been self sabotaging.

I've been waiting for confidence instead of building it.

And I've been shrinking because it felt safer.

And instead of judging yourself, you choose differently.

Because the version of you that you're trying to become, she's already in the room.

She just needs you to stop lying to yourself about what you can and cannot do.

Because honesty isn't harsh.

It's freeing.

Because the moment that you stop lying, your energy shifts, your decisions change, your confidence starts to grow, your momentum changes, but not overnight, intentionally.

And life starts rising to meet the woman who was finally stopped hiding from herself.

So here's your reminder.

Today, you don't need to start perfect, but you do need to start honest.

Honest about what you want, honest about where you're holding back, Honest about the voice that you've been letting run the show.

Because the globe isn't about becoming somebody new.

It's about finally telling yourself the truth.

And if this note hit you, if something whispered, she's talking to me, that's not a coincidence.

That's clarity.

And clarity is the first step towards confidence.

Now, if this note made you feel uncomfortable, good.

That means something honest just surfaced.

So save this episode so that you can come back to it.

Share with a woman who's been playing small and calling it being realistic.

And make sure you listen to the next note, because honesty is the first step, but staying consistent is where the real confidence is built.

So I'll see you in the next one.