Show notes

Words of Wisdom 140: On False Empowerment

In this episode, Josh explores the concept of false empowerment and its potential pitfalls. Reflecting on experiences of pain, trauma, and rejection, he discusses how the ego can drive change in destructive ways. Josh emphasizes the dangers of weaponizing boundaries and living from a place of resentment, explaining the importance of surrendering to God for true, healthy transformation. He includes teachings from Jesus in Matthew 7 and insights from Richard Rohr to underline the value of humility, letting go, and unlearning. The episode concludes with reflective questions to guide prayers and journaling on ways to avoid false empowerment and genuinely depend on God.

00:00 Introduction to False Empowerment

00:11 The Dangers of False Empowerment

00:29 The Ego's Role in False Empowerment

00:52 Weaponizing Boundaries and Seeking Justice

01:16 The Consequences of False Empowerment

01:21 Spiritual Teachings on Surrender

01:52 Practical Steps to True Empowerment

02:31 Biblical Wisdom on Judgment

03:30 Reflections and Questions

04:09 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Richard Rohr, ​Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps​

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Support this podcast by buying a book through one of the links above.

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Words of Wisdom 140 on False Empowerment I've been reflecting

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on the subtle yet significant

difficulties of transformation.

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One of the dangers is that while seeking

growth, healing, and transformation,

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you become falsely empowered.

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Let's say you've experienced

pain, trauma, or rejection.

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It cuts very deep.

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And so you rise up to fight

back, to seek to change.

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False empowerment can occur when your

ego, your false self, drives that change.

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We are all addicted to control, to

believing the lie that it's only up to

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me, that I am the only one I can depend

on, and so, instead of surrendering a

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situation in our will to God, we take

control and become falsely empowered.

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we weaponize boundaries.

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We lash out and call it justice.

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We take action to prioritize security

and safety instead of sacrificial love.

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We sit around our own internal campfire

and tell ourselves victim based tales.

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We whine to ourselves and others

with resentment and indignation about

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how bad and shocking others are.

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Beware.

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False empowerment is

deadly and leads to ruin.

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Jesus teaches that the resentment

log eliminates the possibility

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for humble self awareness and

ultimately surrender and healthy

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dependence on God in Matthew 7, 3 14.

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This is a hard truth.

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We all innately long to have

power over our own existence.

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But every mature spiritual leader I

know of knows better: you are powerless

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and desperately need to depend on God.

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So take action, but do

it in dependence on God.

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Surrender, quote, the flesh,

that small ego of self.

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Let go and entrust your

will and your life to God.

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Only then will your boundaries be healthy.

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and your heart centered.

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Only then can you enter the narrow gate,

ask what you want of God, and receive it.

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Perhaps there is more freedom for you

to experience, not by setting more

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boundaries, but by breaking down internal

barriers you've built to wall off love.

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Quotes.

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Judge not, that you be not judged.

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For with the judgment you

pronounce, you will be judged.

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And with the measure you use,

it will be measured to you.

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Why do you seek the speck

that is in your brother's eye?

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But do not notice the log

that is in your own eye.

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Or how can you say to your brother,

Let me take the speck out of your eye.

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When there is the log in your own eye.

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You hypocrite.

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First take the log out of your own eye.

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And then you will see clearly to take

the speck out of your brother's eye.

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This is Jesus in the greatest

sermon in history in Matthew 7, 1 5.

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All mature spirituality, in

one sense or another, is about

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letting go and unlearning.

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By Richard Rohr, in his

book, Breathing Underwater,

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Spirituality in the Tall Steps.

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Questions.

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In what areas of my life might I

be experiencing false empowerment?

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Are there any specific boundaries in

my life that I need to re evaluate

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from a spiritual perspective?

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In what ways do I try to maintain

control instead of surrendering to God?

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Is there a victim based tale or

internal narrative of resentment

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that I need to let go of?

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Use these questions to guide your

prayers and as journal prompts this week.

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End note.

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Perhaps the strongest thing

you can do is to become weak

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and surrender control to God.

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Live wisely, Josh.