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Episode 163 - The Hidden People Pleasing of High Achievers
20th May 2026 • The Ex-Good Girl Podcast • Sara Bybee Fisk
00:00:00 00:40:49

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There is a version of people-pleasing that hides behind competence, ambition, professionalism, and being the person everyone can count on. In this episode, I’m unpacking the patterns that show up in high achievers and what happens when competence becomes part of your identity. If the traits that brought you success are slowly starting to feel exhausting, it doesn’t mean you need to stop striving completely. It means there is a different way to experience achievement, one where you can be highly capable while also being supported, loved, helped, and truly known in reciprocal relationships. Here’s what I cover:


  • Why people pleasing in high achievers is often brushed off as “just being professional”
  • The childhood experiences that teach women that being useful is what makes them lovable
  • How competence can become a cage that leaves high-achieving women feeling lonely and resentful
  • The invisible contract women believe in when they keep overfunctioning and overdelivering
  • The sneaky ways people pleasing shows up through perfectionism and emotional responsibility
  • How to start supporting the younger part of you that learned that needing things was unsafe


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