This is the final episode of season one of onefjef: a compilation of clips, conversations, connection, confessions, and moments that somehow led me from Columbus, Ohio to Mexico City. I still can’t believe I made 49 of these.

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Thank you for listening, please do it again, 49 times.

Onefjef is produced, edited & hosted by Jef Taylor.

Yankee doodle went to down, riding on a pony, like a bird in the

sky, and going like a whale, me.

Very good, Jeffrey.

This is episode 49 of onefjef.

49 is a number with strange range.

It's the square of 7, which gives it a mystical reputation in

numerology, since 7 is often tied to introspection, luck, and spirituality.

In the United States, 49 instantly evokes the Gold Rush era 49ers.

The thousands of prospectors who rushed to California in 1849, chasing gold and

usually finding disappointment instead.

In many spiritual traditions, cycles of 49 days are associated with

transition, rebirth or mourning, especially in some Buddhist practices.

And psychologically, 49 has that peculiar unfinished feeling

because it sits one step below 50.

Close enough to feel significant, but just off round enough to feel slightly uneasy.

Can you believe it?

49 episodes of this podcast.

If you can believe it, then I will be surprised for both of us.

I will be amazed, surprised, and bewildered.

All of us listening, because I cannot believe that this is episode 49 of

this Here podcast that I began a little less than a year ago today.

As I've been editing this compilation episode, which is what

you're about to hear, it's been quite the trip down memory lane.

The things this podcast has brought into my life are immeasurable.

It's, it's really amazing, and I'm not even sure I'd be living in

Mexico City right now if it wasn't for this podcast, to be honest.

Yeah, I mean the podcast kind of flipped a switch, and um, I started finally,

well not finally, but I started living, living in earnest, doing all the things.

Not worrying so much, although I do still worry quite a bit about things,

but don't we all, don't we all, I appreciate all of you, my listeners, new

and old, young and old, Mexican, German, American, Canadian, Icelandic, whatever.

I love and appreciate you all.

There are quite a few podcasts out there these days, and I can't tell you how

meaningful it is to me that you yourself choose out of all those podcasts out

there, you choose this one to listen to.

So as I said, this episode is just a compilation of clips from the

last 48 episodes of this podcast.

Some short, some long.

Some funny, some poignant, so on and so on.

I would love to make a list for you so that if you're a new listener and

you're listening to this compilation and you're like, Oh, that sounds

like an interesting episode.

Which one is that?

But I, I, I didn't, I'm not doing that.

I'm sorry, but.

If you really want to know where a clip came from, and you

want to hear that episode, just email me, onefjefpod at gmail.

com, or, better yet, call me, 1 669 241 5882.

That was a good one.

That was a good one.

I don't care what you think.

Yes, give me a call or email me.

I'll tell you exactly what episode everything is from.

You can hear it right from the source, as it were.

In addition to being episode 49, this is also the last

episode of season 1 of onefjef.

I did not know at all when I was going to change seasons with podcasts.

It seems very arbitrary.

Nobody seems to have, there's no rule.

For a while, I thought I'll just do season 1 the entire time,

but then I moved to Mexico.

So, it seems like a perfect time to, you know, roll over the old clock, whatever

they say, you know, turn the page of the calendar, whatever, whatever metaphor

you want to use, and start season two.

And start season two with a new focus, which is going to be, as I've

said, about being an expat here.

In Mexico City, I'll be talking to expats.

I already have talked to some.

I'll be talking myself as I always do and I'll be doing other things, you know,

maybe some interpretive dance, which you won't be able to see because this

is an audio podcast But you never know.

Maybe there'll even be some video at some point.

It wouldn't that be exciting?

Yes.

Yes, it would be exciting.

Anyway, I will stop rambling now But wow, it's uh, yeah,

it's something else, isn't it?

I know this isn't as meaningful for you as it is for me, because I'm the one

who's made every single one of these episodes, but I'm kind of impressed

with myself, so hopefully you can be impressed with me with me, right?

Right.

As always, thank you for listening.

Thank you for being here.

Here's my dear friend, Chris Casey and I from the first, well, second episode,

but the first real episode of onefjef.

So this is the podcast.

This is it.

This is it right here.

This is, this is it.

We're doing it.

I'm, I'm, I'm doing it.

You're doing it.

We're, we're, we're, we're on the podcast.

I'm, I'm thrilled to be on it.

And, um, It really feels like, uh, it's been a long time coming, this podcast.

Right.

I've been thinking about this for years.

And, uh, then I learned how to do it at my last job, which will go unnamed.

And, uh, thought, hey, I've got this equipment.

It's not hard anymore.

Here's an easy way to make a million bucks.

Am I right?

Yeah, it's very easy, famously easy to make a million dollars.

Yeah, I think a couple months is all you need.

One or two months I think is pretty much the standard I've read.

I think the best strategy is to record like two or three episodes,

then let six or seven months go by.

That's the plan.

Then you do an update apologizing for why there's been a gap, and then another

year goes by, and then That is my plan.

Yeah.

Did you ever kill anybody?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Had an opportunity to do that.

What does that mean?

There's only one guy that I know for sure that I drew my M68 red

dot sight on and dropped him.

Okay.

Everything else was kind of Maybe I hit somebody, maybe I didn't.

Maybe we hit somebody.

And how was, I mean, did that shake you up at all?

Or did you just like think that was part of the job?

No.

We It ended up landing on a crew that was trying to prep an IED site.

They were being kind of brazen.

They were digging a hole in broad daylight and we just happened to be passing by.

And so my lead vehicle reports back to me and says, Hey, I think I've got

guys on the side of the road digging.

I'm like, okay, well go up, speed up and try to detain him.

Car takes off.

He takes off after the car, shoots it up with a machine gun.

Uh, the two other guys.

They see that Humvee, so they run the opposite way, which

just happens to be right at me.

And so between me and my gunner, we, uh, took the other, those two guys down.

War is such a strange thing, if you really break it down, because

these are just people thinking they're doing the right thing.

Right?

You're thinking that you're doing the right thing, and

it's just I never hated them.

I gotta be honest, I was never angry at anybody for trying to kill me.

Because nobody, everybody's just doing their quote unquote job,

and like, everybody's got, yeah.

It's just such an interesting dynamic, you know?

Yeah.

Um, I mean, it's like you think back to, what, was it World War I, where

they The, the Christmas Eve or whatever, when they all got together and hung out

soccer matches and Right, right, right.

Stuff like that.

Yeah.

Um, which they stopped obviously after that because Right.

God forbid, we, they were like, oh, you can't start seeing

the enemy as a human being.

I mean, I guess that's true in a way.

I mean, that would make it harder if you just played soccer with

somebody to start mm-hmm . Yeah.

I set off with the intention of it being a, um, six month, um, cycle ride.

Basically, I'd saved South America as a big trip.

Uh, so I looked at, um, I was working offshore at the time and, um, I

was looking at it and I thought, well, there's no train routes.

It'll all be by buses, which I didn't really fancy.

And then I thought about a motorbike, uh, but I've got no real history of

riding motorbike or maintaining one.

And I thought that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

So, uh, I basically trialed a fold up bike in Burma for three weeks.

I've been flown into Bangkok and bought one.

Uh, and, uh, yeah, I was like, this is doable.

So then, um, it was just going to be a six month cycle trip, uh, back to Australia.

Uh, but by the time I got there, I thought I'd just as well cycle around Australia

whilst I've got the, uh, the visa, uh, and then during those two years, uh,

I was like, yeah, Japan might be nice.

Uh, and then I, Southeast Asia, uh, Northern India.

Uh, Kazakhstan.

You've done all these, you've biked across all these countries, all these places.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you train before you started this whole adventure,

or did you just start doing it?

Yeah, I, um, I wasn't much of a cyclist, um, uh, and probably even

when I'm not cycling around the world, I, cycling's not something I,

um, think, oh, I'll get on the bike.

Huh.

Um, so.

I just find it the best way to travel.

If you truly get into a relationship with a tree, if you tend to the tree, if you

sit with a tree, if you meditate with this one tree over and over and over every

single day, it truly is such a teacher.

It starts, stuff starts happening.

Like it starts like giving you gifts, like.

Weird fucking shit starts happening.

Huh.

And do you have a tree that you do this with?

I do.

I have one that's it's so it's the tree that's right outside my bedroom window.

So it like protects my bedroom.

It's right over my bedroom and I feed it water and I also feed it.

So I use my menstrual blood and feed it menstrual blood every month.

And, um, so that's a whole thing.

So, because the menstrual blood has.

Like vitamins and minerals and stuff in it that is good for

plants, but then it's also your DNA.

And so the plant is like knowing your DNA and is like, you know, um, and then

the animals that come to that tree and like the squirrels and the birds and

like the life that lives in that tree.

And that tree will like, give me little gifts, like a pine cone from that tree

fell just like on my front doorstep and it protects my bedroom, you know,

and I just hang out and you can have.

I mean, you can get as weird as you want to get with it.

You can have conversations with it.

You can ask it its name.

You can like hang out fully with the tree.

You can fuck it.

You could fuck a tree.

I do kiss it.

Have you?

You've never fucked a tree, though, have you?

I've never fucked a tree.

Because that'd be great content if you had, this whole I do kiss it.

It's a real tree hugger to the next degree.

I love it.

I just, I couldn't do it because I don't have any menstrual blood, though.

I would have to like check a check off on it or something.

I use spit, too.

If I don't have anything else to offer, I'll just.

Use my spit, I'll spit on the tree.

But you do it respectfully, like at the base.

You're not spitting on the tree . Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not a disrespectful thing because a tree's language, if

you think about it, is water.

Mm-hmm . Is soil is nutrients.

Right.

And so speaking in its language is like, this is what I have to offer you

is the water for my, it's like dune.

I had a big weight fall on my foot when I was four years old.

Huh.

And crushed one of my toes.

And my mom didn't know what to do, you know, so she just picked me up and she

laid her hand on my foot and she prayed for it and it just went back to normal.

No kidding.

Just immediately.

Yeah, the pain went away, the color came back.

And do you attribute this to divine power?

Intervention of some sort?

That's a great question and I've thought about that a ton because as I've had

to kind of change the context, reframe it, I really think that What allowed it

was what we could call as a poetic term of faith, you know, and the power that

belief Can, I don't know how else to say it, like shift reality essentially.

No, I get it.

I mean there, there's, there's validity to the power of prayer.

I don't think it's just prayer though.

I think it's just energy being, you know.

Of course.

I have some arthritis in my toe.

I wonder if your mom could feed you.

You know, what's funny is, is She was a pastor in one of the biggest churches

here in Columbus for a long time.

And now she is a witch.

I mean, it's, it's a path.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely.

Again, it's just discovering this relationship with energy

or the universe or whatever you

What made you move to Vegas?

I found my mother murdered in her home.

No kidding?

Two days after her 61st birthday.

Jesus Christ!

What do you know?

Did they find out why?

What were the Yeah, I took her to dinner for her 61st birthday,

April 12th, uh, April 22nd, 2012.

I found her April 25th, 2012, and covered up with her comforter in the hallway.

She was asleep in her bed, in a completely random cold case for eight years.

Um, and you know, I don't care where you live in the world, the safest

place in the world is supposed to be in your bed in your home.

Right, so they say, yeah.

And, uh, we, there was no forced injury.

We think he got in through a gas bedroom window.

At the time of the murder, 22 year old black kid.

Wow.

Rape, sir. Beats her to death and rapes her again post mortem.

Wow.

And didn't they steal anything?

The money out of her purse.

Right, right, right.

Little shit, little knick knack thing.

God, that's But the, the detective seemed to think it was sexually motivated.

Wow.

I'm sorry to hear that, man.

That's a, that's a nuts story.

Unbelievable.

Yeah.

Literally un fucking believable.

Yeah, no kidding, dude.

Especially when there's no, no You know, thank God for science and DNA.

Because they were never gonna get them.

There was no phone calls, emails, text messages.

They didn't, they were strangers.

Right.

And those are always the hardest murders to solve.

Sure, but now they solved it.

There's a guy in prison?

Oh yeah.

Oh good, well that's something anyway.

Yeah,

but thank God.

You know, he left his DNA, he left his semen and his blood, and that was enough.

Dude, but I thought he was going to get away with it, too.

Oh, he, he did get away with it for eight years.

Thanks, man.

Hey, enjoy your, uh, trip, Jef.

Yeah, man, thanks so much, man.

Good luck to you, my friend.

Patricia said she wanted to take me to have these tacos.

It's like a taco stand that just focused, I guess, on the head of the animal.

Beef.

Beef head, the cow head.

Um, so yeah, it had all the different parts from the head.

I'm not sure if there was a nose or whatever, but, uh Well, nose?

I'm not sure.

Yeah, I don't think anybody wants the nose.

But, yeah, the brain.

Yeah, we didn't have any brain, I don't think.

And eyes.

Oof, yeah, no.

Ear.

Yeah.

What's her favorite part of the cow head?

Is that favorite part for you?

Um, chicks.

I am more, I am not like an big, like a very normal person in right,

in head Tacos not big on the head.

Yes, I am, but not the normal parts, not the very, see, I

don't like the brain or eye.

Yeah.

I don't, I don't wanna do that.

Did they chop up the eye or is it just like looking right at

you in the taco, in the tortilla?

No, because it's not.

The I, I is pretty like just the nerve.

Oh, okay, so you don't have like a taco with like eyes staring at you.

No.

No, yeah, that'd be terrifying.

You cannot eat that part.

Right, but the tongue that you gave me was literally just, uh, a tortilla with just

a, just a tongue just sitting right there.

No questions about what that was.

Yeah, I believe that they cook it, but it was really just, it was shocking because

It's because in Mexico City they do it that way, but in other parts they chop it.

That would be helpful if they chopped it, yeah.

Yeah, so you don't realize if any of you are, like, eating, like, eye tacos.

Yeah, that would have been helpful for me.

I think in the other one that was mixed, you have a little bit of

everything, but you didn't realize what, which part you was eating.

Yeah, I took a bite of the tongue and yeah, not my favorite

thing, but I appreciate that.

I think it were not the best Not the best tongue?

No.

You can try again.

No, no.

Um, well, I don't know that I And even if you find machitos,

it will be Yeah, what's machitos?

The balls of the cow.

Oh, I don't want to, no.

Absolutely not.

I'm not eating testicles.

Have you eaten those?

No, but what do you prefer?

To eat that, or to eat Hmm Crickets.

I'd absolutely eat cricket over testicles.

Yeah.

For real.

I would eat a frog over testicles.

It would take a lot, a snake.

I would eat that over testicles.

Uh, yeah, probably that as well.

Over testicles?

Yeah.

I don't want to eat cow balls.

Okay.

I mean, you would eat testicles?

Yes, for sure.

With all the options that I said before.

Yes.

You'd go with the testicles.

Yes.

All right.

Well, I'd like to know how they are.

But I prefer that, the, um, like the chicken legs that we saw.

Like the chicken feet.

I don't know, maybe.

With the nails.

Well, I don't think you eat the nails.

Yes, I don't know how they do it, but yeah, they take the nails off and

sometimes they do it with salsa picante.

I would hope so.

And with lemon and salt.

Yeah, you gotta add.

Like the mango, but with chicken feet.

Yeah, I think you prefer?

Yeah, chicken feet, yeah.

Yeah, I mean you'd really have to spice the balls up a lot and

make them look as little if they didn't look like testicles at all.

You never have tried it.

Either have you, either have you.

But is it texture, the texture is different.

It's the knowledge of what I'm eating that's the problem.

But if we're talking about a penis that would be a whole different game.

So every time that you are eating chicken you are imagining the chicken.

What do you mean, imagine?

So, yeah, it's like, sometimes it's more about the texture than the taste, rather

than, yes, what it specifically is.

Okay, how about you?

Would you eat a duck vagina?

No.

See?

Because I don't love duck.

Okay, how about a cow vagina?

Isn't, they don't have, they know that you eat a vagina.

But if they, some, some places do.

They eat duck vaginas in China.

Tell me.

They sell duck vaginas in Chinatown.

They absolutely do.

Show me.

I mean, I can't do it right now, but next time I come, I'll bring some duck vaginas.

I think they might take them in customs, but Okay.

Yeah.

I went to the penis museum, and blue whales, I think it

is, have enormous penises.

Enormous.

Intimidating.

They also have a, like a cast, you know, like a clay cast or

whatever, of Jimi Hendrix's penis.

And yeah, yeah, that's um, also intimidating, but not even close

to the whale, because that, whew!

You'd have to wear special pants.

Is what I'm saying.

Another one's in love with the Empire State Building and she goes to New York,

goes to the Empire State Building and she puts her body up against it and

starts like humping it and a cop comes up and is like, I'm sorry, ma'am, you

can't, you can't, you can't do that.

What do you mean?

You don't.

Stop people from humping walls in New York City.

I thought they'd do shit like that.

All what?

I mean, this happens, this is what happens in the movie.

I'm, I'm the documentary.

Oh, I, so I'm just telling you right, what the reality was.

Yeah.

That's bullshit.

They should have let her finish.

Uh, I don't know what the law is about that particularly, but you pumping walls.

In New York City, like, you know, crackheads be humping walls.

Let them finish.

Yeah, I could kind of see it, but I could also see, like, the cops who

are working by one of the biggest tourist attractions in the entire city.

Yeah, you're scaring the kids, man.

Don't want a woman humping the building.

Stop fucking the building.

Please don't, please don't fuck the building.

We'd have to write it down, but There's something very, like, not romantic,

but, like, kind of epic about falling in love with, like, an iconic Like

building or structure like a Ferris wheel or an Empire State Building.

Like, that makes me want to write a movie about something like that.

Yeah, but there's love of the thing and then there's like wanting to fuck it.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

And that's, I, I think that the, uh, the Chrysler building

is a very attractive building.

I think it's a great building, but the, the distance from

here to me wanting to fuck it.

It's, it's quite a hike.

I really enjoyed working in hospitals and hanging out with doctors because

they seem to be uninhibited sexually.

Really?

And we talked about, like, why are you so uninhibited compared

to the normal Spanish person?

And generally their take was when you're around death, you lose sexual inhibition

because there's something about Sex that's very, it's about life, right?

Eros is life force, and so when you're around death, there's an

impulse to Cultivate the life for us.

How did you find out that these doctors were like sexually, um, like open?

By having sex with them.

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

At least some of them.

When you're our age, your culture was way cooler than when we are our age.

How's, how's that?

Like the social media, like.

Basically, social media is like, how, how quickly can we spread dumb ideas?

Yeah.

And so, like, the dumbest ideas become like, oh my god, this is

the most funny thing in the world.

I feel like social media is kind of killing our culture, because it then

gets passed down to a lot of younger kids, and there's not like a, do

you know, you know brain rot, right?

We don't have to spend very much time talking about it, but it's just

like, that's the kind of like, how quickly can dumb ideas spread, and

somehow people think it's funny, even though it's not funny at all.

What is unk status?

When you're like Older than someone like I go to ballet with these girls

that are going into freshman year They're like, wait, how old are you?

And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be a junior.

They're like, wow, you've like reached on status I was like on status.

I thought you had to be like 20 to be like, you know what the rules

of the terminology were No, I mean Teen Gen Z slang is so stupid.

Yeah.

What do you got?

Give me some of this Have you heard of the Italian brain rot?

I've heard of brain rot, but not the Italian version.

Okay, there's like, there's that, do you know, like six, seven?

What does it mean, the Italian brain rot?

Well, there's a lot of Italian brain rot.

Don't want to play one on the mic.

Oh, is it just a type of video?

Yeah, yeah, play it on the mic.

Here we go.

This is gonna be really good.

All right, I mean, I'm excited for sure.

Is there a French brain rod or just just Italian?

No, it's just Italian.

All right,

cap.

I have no idea what's going on there.

I despise, I hate playing my saxophone alone.

Like in front of people.

It's my worst.

It's genuinely my worst fear.

Interesting.

Um, but like You know taking a test in math.

I don't care.

Why do you think the saxophone thing is such a big fear?

I don't know cuz like I are you good at it?

I'm fine.

It's like moderate, you know but I don't know it is just my

worst fear and I remember my My middle school band director.

I was sitting down.

I was doing this test And I was like, but he would make us play

in front of the whole class.

Wow.

Like the whole class.

It was like 50 kids.

Yeah And I broke down in tears playing like I was sobbing.

I was crying.

It was not good.

Yeah, I somehow finished the test I'm not really sure how my friends were like

comforting me, but like the whole class is comforting me, which is nice But also bad.

Yeah, anyway, so he he's like Mia stay after class.

I need to talk to you So I'm like, okay, this is just getting worse.

Yeah, and he comes up to me.

He's like, hey, you know, I got nervous When I was a kid, you know,

playing too, so like, don't worry, but I wouldn't get as worried as you.

And then he kind of just sent me off to class.

I was like great speech.

What'd you say?

Thanks for the pep talk.

Yes Okay Slowly we developed the philosophy that like quantity begets

quality where if we said no to an idea then it would stifle us and then we

We wouldn't know where to go next.

And so the answer was say yes to every idea in front of us Write the song

about whatever whoever just shouts out a random topic like pickle sandwich,

you know Tom was eating was cutting up pickles and putting them in bread and I

was like one of us said like We should do a song called pickle sandwich and

then as soon as he was done eating it We recorded it, you know, and what what

we find was like As soon as we're done pickle sandwich we got through that one

and then a new idea is going to present itself and if we're doing 35 songs in a

weekend there's going to be some far out wacky weird stuff that people don't like

but A few times throughout the weekend, we just accidentally would write, like,

what we considered to be, like, really good, interesting, compelling, uh, works.

And, you know, we loved all of it, but we're also aware of the fact

that, like, people might only like a few of them, but still, it was not

a waste of a weekend by any means.

Did you know that the poop stuff was gonna blow up like it did?

I mean, I, I highly suspected it would, I didn't, I didn't have, like, another

thing people say is like, what kind of like market research do you do?

Right.

Like, I don't even know how to do market research, like, my market

research is, uh, oh, wouldn't it be funny if I did X, Y, or Z, and then,

then I do it, and sometimes, uh, it goes over well, sometimes it doesn't.

Me and my friends had a WhatsApp.

And we were, plug your ears, listeners, we were sending our farts to each other.

Alex, there's nothing embarrassing about this at all.

This is, uh, one of, one of the funniest things that I've ever, I

still think about how, how genius this whole thing was, but keep it going.

I was, uh, yeah, go ahead.

Yeah.

So we, uh, like, yeah, we're recording and sending our farts around.

We're doing it for quite a while.

And, uh, how long were you doing it before?

How long, how long did this go for?

Uh, we ultimately did it for an entire calendar year.

Wow.

How many, so you got what?

365. Farts are every day.

Well, it wasn't every day.

Sometimes there would be a cluster and then maybe we could go by and

it would be sort of sad and silent and things would perk up again.

Who started it?

Was it you or the other person?

The actual, you know, the initial fart.

That's a great question.

I'd have to go back and look.

Thanks.

That's, that's, that's one for the, uh.

And you don't remember.

That's interesting.

I would be proud if I was the one who was, I would know.

I'd be like, yeah, I was the one who did the first.

Well, you know, yeah.

Fart humor has been a part of my life, uh, you know.

Forever.

So, oh, never goes away.

When did it?

Never goes away.

So anyway, we had this, this collection and we were, um, uh, the pandemic hit.

We were all sitting around fucking, and right around the time, the pandemic,

it was like the perfect storm.

If you know, we all remember NFTs and Crypto.

It's because everybody was in front of their computer all day long.

And so something as stupid as NFTs, it was like the perfect.

Yeah, um, the circumstances for them to take off, it was my idea.

I'm going to go, if the other guys who helped out are listening, I'm sorry.

I was my idea to turn it into an NFT.

We, the original thought was like, just as just a send up.

And so we ended up making, using OpenSea, which is sort of like the

eBay of NFTs, you know, we made, we made these, I found like a web 1.

0 gift generator and made a bunch of really ugly, stupid looking gifts

that just said the word fart and then a random number that I picked.

Like.

Part number 2041.

How many were there, do you know how many farts there were?

In total, I don't, but we don't, we didn't, we sold a random amount, so

we're also trying to sort of like Make fun of the scarcity, the artificial

scarcity that was a big part of NFTs, 10 or 1 of 20 unique, blah blah blah.

So we had these sort of random, exclusive seeming numbers, um, and made a website.

And then what we did is we posted to Reddit that like,

hey, like I'm selling farts.

And then we bought upvotes.

So it put it to the front of the NFT subreddit, and then somebody bought one.

Somebody bought a fucking NFT.

We were like, I can't believe it happened.

How much did they buy it for?

Uh, at the time, it was around 85.

Wow.

Of Ethereum.

So it wasn't, um, cash.

It was crypto.

It was real crypto in my wallet.

And, uh, and then we activated our network, so to speak.

And I had a friend who had a friend who had a friend who's

an editor at the New York Post.

And this is exactly the kind of shit they were looking for.

I think the reason it took off was because everybody hated this

NFT thing but couldn't quite put their finger on why, couldn't quite

articulate why, you know what I mean?

And it was just like, all right, this, this is it.

So like, and especially conservative media, because it feels like sort

of an elitist sort of endeavor, this like art elite crossover.

And I think the New York Post and the Fox News is of the world,

like, just fucking love it.

So they.

They ran with it, and uh, and it went crazy.

It was the most viral I've ever gone.

We were getting hit up, you know, I was on Kiss FM in Canada, I was

on Irish Radio, Tim Heidecker.

Now, as you know, people will buy anything.

The latest craze for so called non fungible tokens involves people

paying huge amounts of money for what are basically fancy gifts.

So Alex Ramirez Malice has taken this idea one stage further by selling a

year's worth of audio recordings of farts.

Alex joins us now on Newstalk.

Good afternoon, Alex.

Good afternoon, thanks for having me.

Uh, no, so, uh, just so people know, are these just your own farts, Alex, or or or

a group of farts from different people?

That's a great question.

So it's a collection of a year's worth of farts that were compiled

by five different artists.

For those of you who aren't aware, the contest was the first

person to actually just email the podcast at onefjefpod at gmail.

com.

You'd be surprised how long it took, but Um, can you just walk us through

the process there from like maybe you heard it a couple times on the podcast

and then From there to the decision and then of the actual writing the

email or in this case you recorded an audio message Which will play as well.

Yeah, um, thanks for asking.

Uh, you know

destiny comes knocking once and Maybe you're a little distracted, hungry, tired,

or just preoccupied with something else, and then destiny comes knocking again.

And you might be on the subway or engaged in some other activity, or

maybe it doesn't occur to you, but then destiny comes knocking a third time.

And, uh, it was in that third time that you mentioned the contest that I, um, I

remember I was walking down the street, uh, I had just purchased a 6 coffee,

and, um, I thought, you know what?

I need a prize.

And so I, yeah, I recorded a message, I sent it in, and, uh, Yeah, the

rest is, I mean, the rest is, you know, you know, the rest, you know,

I started like doing this thing with my friends in California for their

birthdays where I would, uh, write them.

First I was just writing like little poems and then they turned, they got longer

and longer and then they became more like they've morphed into these recordings

that I'll make that are sometimes songs.

Sometimes they're like mostly raps, like really ridiculous.

Uh, lengthy of sort of avant garde raps, you know, and they've become really

enjoyable for me to make, but also it's strange how, just to sort of clock what

I expect as far as, as far as a response.

And also what I get as far as a response, like if I'll send it, like

I'll notice like, oh, these two guys, they didn't, they didn't like laugh,

respond, they didn't hit the ha ha emoji back or like, oh, they didn't,

they didn't comment or anything.

Like one guy I am, or the biggest one was my manager for his 50th birthday.

I was like, I had just kind of started to do this and I was

like, do I do this for him?

He's not really like an old friend, like all these people from California are.

I don't know that he really deserves this.

Like that his friendship with me really fits in the same world.

But I was like, fuck it, I'll do it.

And so I did it for him.

And it was, again, I do it during the course of a day.

So I let it entirely occupy me for a full day.

But by the time that day's over.

I have to make a recording and send it off and then let it go.

And so I did this for him and it was a bit, it was a bit, it's

like two, three minutes long, this big rap about him for his 50th

birthday and he didn't say anything.

Didn't respond at all.

And I was so fucking mad.

I was so fucking mad.

I even later brought it up at one point.

I was like, did you like get that?

You know, like blah, blah, blah.

Like, did you receive it even?

He was like, oh yeah.

And he just sort of like blew it off.

Like, yeah, no, I got it.

And I was like, well, why wouldn't you say, you know what I mean?

Right.

Like this, no, I, I totally, this gift giving thing is, is a strange, our

relationship to our creative stuff.

So this, this is like things that I'm blatantly not doing for pay.

There's no pay coming, but still, there's an expectation of, of some

kind of acknowledgement of, you know.

People don't, I think, some people don't know how to

respond to artistic expression.

Um, you know, I, I think.

That's a part of it, maybe.

Is it because it's too intimate?

Possibly, yeah.

I think there's a, there's, there's probably levels there.

But I, but then again, I have like people like, oh, I made a

video, you know, just for random.

I was out camping in the woods.

I made this video of like the stars, these time lapses.

It's very cool.

I'm very proud of it.

It was the first creative thing I'd done in a long time and I

sent it out to a bunch of people and like, you know, 90 percent of

them, you know, no response at all.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Nothing.

I was up for all these directing jobs, these horrible movies,

and I wasn't getting them.

But there was one movie, and I was rea at that point I was like, I

don't think I can do this anymore.

This is just really hard.

This is brutal.

And, you know, I had two kids at that point, and I was

trying to just make a living.

And they sent me a script that was a teen movie that Working Title Films was making.

And I was like, you know, I think I can fix this one, even though

it was, it was a weird story.

It was about, um, a girl in Malibu who gets into trouble and gets sent

to a boarding school in England.

Okay.

But the ace in the hole that I had was that the White's brothers had

just made this movie for, they just made about a boy for working title.

And they called the head.

The head producer at Working Title and said, hey, you

should hire John to do this.

And I just, I interviewed really well for that movie.

It's all who you know.

And it's also, yeah, it is all you know.

But at that point, I also flew myself out to LA to meet with them in a room.

I knew that that was the only way I was going to get the job.

Yeah.

And not do it over the phone.

It was before Zoom, obviously.

Right.

And somehow I got that job.

And it was a big deal, you know, and that one that was crazy because we needed to

discover somebody It was we needed like the 16 year old girl and I met every Young

actress in Hollywood in a room with them.

Like it was just crazy And we were trying to decide who to hire and just

like long story short Like what ended up happening was we had narrowed down to a

couple of actresses that were gonna be in it And we were scanning locations.

We were we were probably Three months out from shooting the movie and we were gonna

hire somebody to be in it We were gonna be in London for a year doing post because of

the tax credits So got my kid Or at least Alex was old enough to go to school in

London and the movie fell apart and that was just that was And they did it in the

worst way possible When I got the job, it was so hard to get the job I was told this

is a go movie and it turns out that the head of the studio hadn't really approved

it So they told me they said you need to go out there and convince her You're gonna

make this movie and I put together a whole like it was before like pitch decks, but

I write pitch deck It's all those things and they called me right when I was about

to get on the plane or like a few hours before I was About to get in a plane.

They were like don't get on the plane got invited out onto the warp tour In 2005

that's big to basically be merch people.

Oh Okay.

So this is this is the reality of it, right?

It's we weren't We're a very well known band.

Of course.

We just happened to make the right friends at the right time that were like,

Hey, come out, uh, help us sell CDs.

And we're like, okay, can we bring our gear?

And they're like, sure, if you want to haul it around, I'm not going

to play it, but yeah, so we did.

And the very first day that we were there, we played on a stage.

Right outside of the main gates like the the parking lot stage.

We played that stage a handful of times But we also we were up at 6 a.

m.

Every day.

We were selling CDs in the lines We were helping, uh, we

were helping set up stages.

We were just carrying shit.

We're just being useful.

But you're networking and meeting people and Right, exactly.

And just wanting to be a part of it and contribute to this huge thing.

Like for me, that life I was living that summer I had made it.

For sure.

And we went from can we bring our stuff, sure, but you're focusing on selling

CDs, to, um, by the end of it we were in a tour bus and we were the, uh, the

everyday main act at the MySpace We lived on five dollar per diems per member.

We lived on the Wendy's value menu, right?

Our tour bus would stop at a Flying J with an attached Wendy's and We would

get out and file with guys that I had I remember my career was two people

in front of me in line at a Flying J He's a singer for a band called MXPX.

Like I had a poster of them on my wall, like all these bands Like huge bands.

I was surrounded by it day.

I was just like flying day part of that crowd.

They were just in line.

Wendy's.

Wendy's Rock and roll.

And guess what?

Spoiler alert, 90% of these bands had a $5 per meal budget.

If you could experience Pure Bliss, would you, a, would you be willing to

abandon your personality completely?

I don't know what pure bliss, um, entails.

Okay.

That's besides the point.

I mean, just if in theory there is a thing such pure blis, I

would like to know Exactly.

Course you can't know.

You can't know what it feels like.

It's, but it's, but if I blis, what if I, what if I abandoned my personality

for this and I'm disappointed by it?

I'm like, uh, wouldn't, not that great.

You wouldn't be, your personality is the part of you that's getting disappointed.

Oh, I see.

Um, would it be permanent?

I mean, you could, I guess you could get your personality back, but I

think once you experience pure bliss, you're probably not going to want

your personality back, I would hope.

My mom got me some heroin.

Oh, goodness.

And I'm tearing up a little bit, actually.

We drove out there, and I didn't sleep for like 11 days.

It was, it was Bad.

There's really no explanation for it.

I mean, you cannot describe it to someone who hasn't gone through it.

It's, it's a weird kind of hell.

But On the 11th day, I was laying on the floor and I was reading

this and all of a sudden I noticed the book was on my chest and I was

like, Oh my God, I just fell asleep.

And I looked at the clock and I'd been asleep for like 45 minutes and I

have never been so happy in my life.

I was like, that meant like, I'm beating it.

This is like really happening right now.

Like I'm not going to feel like that forever actually.

Yeah.

I was really like overflowing with a kind of joy.

He had just discovered what it meant to say olive juice, what

it meant to mouth olive juice.

What does that mean to someone?

So if you mouth, like if I, and for the audience I just mouth all juice.

That just Right.

Thank you for the, thank you for that.

It's no, no video.

So thank you for and, um.

Yeah, from across the room, that looks like you're saying

I love you to someone, right?

So he actually oversaw like the gym or the recess lunch period and all of the

girls are, you know, were always, all the kids really, boys and girls, were always

surrounding him wanting to talk to him.

Like he was just a charming teacher.

Yes.

Yes.

A cool charming teacher.

Yes.

And we had just discovered this olive juice thing.

And so of course we like all ran over to tell him like.

Mr. Collar, what do you think I'm saying to you right now?

Right, you know like and Then it was within a day or two from that

encounter that He would catch me from across the room like looking at me I

was looking at him and he would mouth olive juice to me and I was like, you

know, my God did what did he just say?

Did he just do that for me?

And I think I ran over and I asked him, I go, did you just mouth olive juice to me?

And he goes, yeah, but let's just shorten it to olive.

That way when I mouth it to you people won't know or think that

I'm saying that I love you.

Right.

And that's where it begins.

It wasn't because I had some sense of duty.

It was because there was nobody else to show up in the courtroom that day.

Right.

And so I show up in the courtroom and then it's like, well, are you willing

to And I had just been in South Africa meeting African children that our

women sing to from the prison program, thinking that I might try to adopt

one of these children from hospice care, but that wasn't going to happen

because of the South African government, the way they look at people like me.

Right.

And then I get back and then there's this African child who came here from Liberia

when he was three years old Yeah, sitting in the courtroom next to me that I only

knew his first name I didn't really know a whole lot about him and this magistrate

on my birthday Asking me will I say yes to taking this kid into my home and I

had this moment where I was like, okay I didn't really believe all of the stories

that I was taught about religion and God when I was growing up, but I do believe

in moments and I'm in a moment on my birthday, just having returned from

South Africa where I was thinking about adopting an African child that fell apart.

I cried for five days and now I'm in a courtroom on my freaking birthday.

I keep going back to that point and there is a 16 year old

African child sitting next to me.

And the judge is saying he needs a place to live, and I was like, okay.

And I literally brought him home, and I was like, not that day.

It was, it still took another 30 days.

Sure.

He walks in the door and I was like, okay, listen, I don't know how to cook.

I don't know what we're going to fucking do.

I don't know how I'm going to feed you.

I mean, we're just gonna have to go to like restaurants and stuff

because I don't know what I'm doing.

And then his best friend who was kind of navigating the foster system You

know, started kind of coming in and then all my friends who had kids were

like, two are so much easier than one.

Sure.

You know, so suddenly there's two, there's three of us and, you know, we

make it through meals and then they start putting weight on and I'm like,

okay, so I guess I'm figuring this out, you know, they're not starving.

Um, and then, you know, they overload the washing machine and they break

the dishwasher and, you know, all this stuff starts happening.

That's teenage life.

Teaching them how to drive and forcing them out of bed.

And then all of a sudden it was just like, oh, this is, this is normal.

This is life.

This is what it was supposed to be.

And yes, of course, I literally remember life before they were there.

Sure.

But I don't really remember who I was before they were there.

Hmm.

Because I didn't really understand who I was till they came along.

Meaning, Everything was about work prior to that.

I know that, but I don't really remember that in a way because they

kind of brought this other side to me that was kind of all lurking there,

I guess, lurking in the background.

And when it stepped in to take over the spot that it was supposed to

occupy, That was when I kind of knew.

Oh, yeah, I've come.

I now know who I am.

I'm at the Trump store in Branson, Missouri, and it is something else indeed.

I've never seen so many Trump things in my entire life.

There's an animatronic Trump out front.

Many, many hats.

One of the hats said, I'll be voting for Barron.

That's fun.

Another one said Gulf of America, and another one just said titties, but in a

red white and like an American flag font.

Like, not a font, but like it's a American flag vibe.

So I guess it's okay to say titties.

I really want to interview the guy who's the purveyor of the store,

but I also don't want to do that.

All right, so I just went to the Jesus store.

I think it's called Everything Jesus.

And, um, honestly, the similarities between that and

the Trump store are striking.

The vibe is strikingly similar.

So that's fun.

Hello everyone, it's Fefri.

Do you remember me?

Uh, from Christmas.

It was many years ago.

But, Jef played it on this podcast, uh, for Christmas this year.

And people seemed to love it.

So he's very busy packing for He's going to Where is he going?

He told me where he was going, but I forgot.

It's, uh, oh, it's the weather!

No, we'll do the weather later.

Jef called me.

He said, Fafri, hello, Fafri.

Are you eating a candy cane?

And I say, yes, of course I'm eating a candy cane.

He said, well, take it out of your mouth.

Listen to this.

And he said, I am very busy because I am moving to Where is he, say?

Anyway, he was moving, and he said, Fefri, I need your help.

I need you to do the podcast this week.

And I took the candy cane out of me mouth and I said, All right,

and then he hung up and he didn't he didn't tell me what to do.

He just said Do the podcast so I don't know

It's been many years.

I've gotten older.

You've gotten older too and we've all There's still the sound effects

So look at, ah, oh, there's a, oh, there's a ship coming in, everyone.

There's a ship.

Look out, look out.

I wonder what, is it bringing candy canes?

Nope.

There, there's a candy cane.

Remember the candy cane song, everyone.

The one thing that hasn't changed about me, Fefri, is

that I still love candy canes.

I love them so much.

Did you read the article in the Times about the happiness study, the longest

happiness study that's ever been done?

Oh, I think I did.

The Harvard, uh.

I don't know what school.

I think they're Harvard students.

What it was, but it was like 50 years or something.

Yeah.

I mean, essentially it was the stuff that was like other people.

It was like doing things for other people, being with other people, talking to other

people, interacting with other people.

These are the things that generally bring us happiness.

Isn't that baffling?

Why is it in a time of ultimate freedom and material abundance that

we do that less than ever before?

Is there just some, something broken with the human software?

I just saw on the side of the highway, two giant, looked like, um, windshield

washer fluid jugs, full of, uh, I mean, I can only assume it was urine.

So, just on the side of the road there.

I, I mean, I understand your inclination to put the jugs of urine, I mean, get

them out of your car or truck or whatever as quickly as possible, but like, you

were clearly holding them for a while.

I mean.

Like you have two, two jugs.

So there was one jug that was full and you, you drove around

with that for quite some time.

And then you filled up the other jug and that's when you decided, No, we

can't drive around with this, with two bottles, two jugs, two windshield

washer fluid jugs of urine in my car.

I'm just gonna stop right here on the side of the highway and put them

nicely on the side of the highway for somebody else to clean up.

And then I went and had dinner at this pizza place, pizza

slash brewery or something.

It was good.

And, uh, I was sitting next to this guy at the bar and I start talking to him.

And this guy, like, he was about my age, I think.

He just moved here six months ago from Mexico.

He lived in Mexico for, he lived in Escondido for 13 years doing

some sort of real estate thing.

My mom and I, uh, own and operate 12 beachfront homes.

That's nice.

Which is great, but right now there's no rentals because people

are afraid to cross the border.

While he was living in Escondido, like, he was apparently abducted by the cartel

or some cartel adjacent, you know, thugs.

And, um, held for ransom.

Before I moved here, I was kidnapped by the cartel.

Were you really?

And I was tortured.

Really?

And they took me for a hundred grand and three of my homes.

Okay, tell me the story.

So, and they kidnapped my stepson too, and that's, that's what

made me cough up the money.

When they touched him, I was like, that's it, they're done here.

Um, and then when I left, I exposed them all.

Normally, you know, I would think that this kind of story is, isn't true.

But it also turns out he's a very, very hardcore Christian.

Why'd you end up in Salida?

Um, I'm a Christian missionary.

I met, um, yeah, I met a woman, uh, named Valerie whose sister works here.

Cindy.

Yep.

Who's awesome.

She's a fucking rock star.

Yeah, Cindy's awesome.

So anyway, uh, I met her, um, in Mexico doing Christian missionary trip.

Well, not missionary trips, but like outreach with the church.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like mostly helping people with, um, drug addiction, uh, people trying

to stop doing prostitution, Yeah.

Uh, mental health issues.

Yeah.

I'm a psychologist.

Okay.

So, and a Christian counselor as well.

Which surprised me because he'd been swearing up a storm and drinking

like a fish, which I, you know, I'm sure, you know, there's Christians

who do these things and, but it was.

It was surprising in a way.

We had an interesting conversation, but at one point he did say that he doesn't

wear a helmet when he rides his bike.

I said something, oh, we were talking about skiing.

And I said, it's nobody wore helmets back then.

It's so crazy to me to think back when I used to ski when I was a kid.

I'm not gonna wear a helmet now.

You should wear a helmet, dude.

Why?

Because it's like so dangerous.

You'd be able to die all the time.

Yeah, right.

I used to ride motorcycles and about 500 and 1, 000 with no helmet on.

That seems reckless.

Um, yeah, but I finished.

Yeah, you didn't die, but I mean, you know, I'm just saying.

I don't know.

Even in the army when they handed me a Kevlar, I wouldn't wear that shit.

Why not?

Because I believe that if God wants to take me out, then

that's what's going to happen.

God's steering the ship.

So, if God's going to take him, God's going to take him whether he's

wearing a helmet or not, I guess?

That's what it sounded like.

Which seems like flawed reasoning to me, but, you know, much of

Christianity does rely on some semblance of flawed reasoning, doesn't it?

My grandmother was kidnapped by German soldiers from the Ukraine

when she was pregnant with my mother.

Wow.

And, uh, she was born in Bergen Belsen.

And my grandmother made amazing sugar cookies, and that's why

Hitler moved them to Hamburg.

No kidding.

So my, my grandmother made sugar cookies for Hitler.

People understand, um, that, uh, you know, you only speak Mpoko.

But, uh, it was, uh, evident when I, um, ordered the, um, breakfast the other

day and all I heard was, uh, fritter and up until then I'd had chicken fritters,

so I thought this, yeah, for breakfast.

And, uh, I ended up with a quarter of a, um, fried guinea pig.

And I was like, yeah.

Right.

But they eat a lot of guinea pig down there.

They love it.

Did you try it?

How was it?

Well, I had to.

It was basically what I ordered that breakfast.

Yeah, there's not a lot of meat on it, surprisingly.

Right, right, right.

I think, um, probably much the same as trying to eat a parrot.

Yeah.

Was it good?

Uh, no.

Every time that I went to Ohio, it was a nightmare in customs,

uh, immigration, because Mexicans don't go there for tourists.

It's not a place that you usually go for.

Ah!

I wanted to To visit Ohio.

I wonder, Ohio is so attractive to me.

Let's go to Ohio for holidays.

All right, Patricia, that's enough.

But I know that some people, mainly in your podcast, they love to live

in Columbus and they love Ohio.

Well, it's good for them.

I can say my experience is not a mistake that I will be like, wow.

But yeah, I appreciate it.

I I would say at this point that if you come to Ohio, I'll show you a great

time in Ohio, but I honestly don't know that, that I actually, I mean.

Ohio's not a popular state.

Last night we had a musical chairs competition, and just for, you

know, funsies, as we were, like the night before we were discussing

the logistics of the musical chair competition, I looked up on ChatGPT.

All I wrote was musical chairs.

And Chachapiti's response was Musical chairs is basically the most polite

way humans have found to recreate the feeling of societal collapse.

You've got a bunch of people circling around limited resources to the

rhythm of an external force they can't control, pretending they're

chill, until suddenly music stops.

Everyone panics.

Shoves, and someone ends up sitting on the floor wondering how it all went wrong.

It's capitalism with fewer lawsuits.

And again, the prompt was just musical chairs.

We really just wanted the rules musical chairs.

Not that there's rules, it's pretty clear, it's an easy game.

But I wanted to see what AI would say about what the rules of the Instead

I got a treatise on the nature of capitalism and societal collapse.

Which again, I appreciated it.

I think it's great.

It's poetry.

And it's true.

People want to talk, you know, people want to, yeah, yeah.

And, and that's just, it gives another good excuse.

If you really think about it to actually have a longer conversation in the real

world, you would just, you know, disappear in the phone, disappear in awkward moment

or a pause where, uh, I'm going to go now.

No, let's just stay in this awkwardness.

It is awkward.

It is uncomfortable.

Nobody likes pauses, you know?

Right.

But you also don't want to over chat it.

And right now, even just sitting here and reflecting on it's like, yeah,

it's, you know, I will remember this.

Oh, good to know.

See?

I will, you know, maybe like in 10 years, I'm going to be having

like a manual announcer, you know, but, but I will remember this one

because this is a new experience.

Oh, well, I'm glad.

And this is not a type of experience of like, well, you know, I'm not being

I'm just being a human with all my flaws and, you know, all

my stuff, just like you are.

That's what I want the thing to be, you know?

Yeah.

And there you go.

Those are some of the highlights.

And low lights and mid lights of season one of one F Jeff,

I hope you enjoyed that.

My only regret is that I didn't have time to like go through everything

with like a comb because I'm sure that I missed moments that were great.

But you know, we only have so much time in this life and we need to

decide how much time we're going to, um, give to everything we do.

And in this case, I gave.

A lot of time editing this episode, but I'd like to have a team

because I'm the one who's judging.

Maybe there's stuff that you would like better, but again, the show is mine.

So of course the opinions are all mine.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed listening to that and uh,

going down memory lane with me.

If there's any clips in there that you particularly liked and wanted to hear the

full episode of, just let me know and I will let you know what episode it's from.

I'll even send you a link to that episode.

How about that?

Boom!

Please do like, rate, subscribe, and review.

These things help me, uh, in some way that I'm not entirely clear upon,

but I have been told that this is something that I'm supposed to say.

And a podcast outro.

And if you have not been following my Instagram and or TikTok pages, you

should be because I've been releasing videos on those, uh, of me talking.

So you'll be able to see me.

You can follow me on Instagram at onefjefpod, and you can follow me

on TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok,

TikTok, TikTok, Like the clock.

It's at onefjefpodcast, because onefjefpod was taken.

By who, I don't know, but I will find out and I will make them

regret choosing that username.

Okay, so follow me on both of those things and follow me anywhere else.

If you're on the internet and you stumble across some stumble across

some social media that's from the podcast, just follow it immediately.

Like it, follow it, send it to all your friends.

You know what else you should send to your friends?

Send this episode to three people that you know.

Just three or two.

I'll settle for one, but it'll be disappointing to me.

So please try for three.

Do it right now.

Send it to three people that you like or that you don't like.

Spread the word about this podcast because that's how things like this grow.

Why did I say grow like that?

I have no idea.

And also, I know you've been waiting for it.

Patreon subscribers, thank you so much for supporting the podcast

through the entire first season.

I truly appreciate.

Your support and your commitment and your love and your, you

know, lack of body odor.

I don't know what else.

I appreciate all of it.

I think you're great people.

I hope that you feel good about your support for the podcast.

I hope that you Are proud to have supported this podcast and I hope that

you will maybe increase your donation for season two if you're so inclined.

If not, it's totally fine.

I feel sleazy even asking you to gimme more money.

And if you are not a patron subscriber, join the elite, the elite.

Onefjef, Patreon family.

If you know, you know, patreon.

com slash onefjef.

Go there, sign up for as little as 5 a month.

That's about 100 pesos.

You can get some extra content.

I don't, there's a bunch of random stuff on there at this point.

You'll get early access to some episodes.

You'll get some photos.

You'll get some episodes that nobody else gets to hear, but

most of all, you'll get the.

Satisfaction of knowing you're supporting an independent podcast that

I am giving to you for free, gratis.

Gratis?

Si.

For no money, you're not paying anything for this.

Have you noticed that?

I hope you have, because it's true.

But if you'd like to pay money for it, and you feel guilty about

not paying money for it, patreon.

com slash onefjef, even if you don't feel guilty.

You can even donate 25 a month, and then you'll be, like, the elite of the elite.

And if you want to be the king of the elite, you can donate.

100 a month, and then you'll get a crown of some sort.

I don't know what I, I, you know, I'll try to get a crown made if you do that.

And I'm going to end this final episode of season one of onefjef

with a poem called Meditations in an Emergency by Cameron Awkward Rich.

I wake up and it breaks my heart.

I draw the blinds and the thrill of rain breaks my heart.

I go outside, I ride the train, walk among the buildings, men in

Monday suits, the flight of doves.

The city of tents beneath the underpass, the huddled mass, old women hawking roses

and children, all of them break my heart.

There's a dream I have in which I love the world.

I run from end to end like fingers through her hair.

There are no borders, only wind.

Like you, I was born.

Like you, I was raised in the institution of dreaming.

Hand on my heart.

Hand on my stupid heart.

I'll see you next week.

Very good, Jeffrey.