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2022 DEC HOLY SHIT I CAN POOP AGAIN
Episode 1175th August 2026 • Vinnie De Rosa AKA Cuzin Vinnie • CuzinVinnieNetwork.com
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Speaker:

Hey, it's Cousin Vinny here

on the Cousin Vinny Network.

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Well, here's the next phase

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Uh, again, I would never, ever,

ever wanna wish this on anyone

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to ever this happen to anybody.

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What happened since 2020 till currently

this year, um, when I think back

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on it, it was pretty devastating.

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Losing your eyesight

is, is, is pretty bad.

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Uh, being blind in one eye and then

having the other good eye go to

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shit, and I gotta say that today

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Um, as of today, my vision is better.

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Uh, I went to Gainesville

yesterday to pick up another lens.

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I broke two, two, uh, lenses

that I had for my vision.

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Um, one was, it just popped out

of my eyeball and hit the counter

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and shattered, and the second one

popped out before I got it in.

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I thought I had it in, stood up,

and it hit the floor and shattered.

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So there went two hard contact

lenses in the last week.

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I had no vision for a while.

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I was back with glasses,

seeing okay, but not great.

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And, uh, went up to Gainesville and

got my new contacts, gingerly put

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it back in, and it's working again.

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So vision is restored.

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It's under control.

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Um, it's still under care and treatment

of the doctors, so that part of my

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life I, I feel like is now history.

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It's now just maintain.

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So let's get to the second

phase of this, uh, trifecta.

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Well, because in 2020 or '21,

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uh, you know, I was supposed to go

get my, uh, colonoscopy in:

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That was my checkup time, and I

blew it off because I was having

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the eyesight issues, and I didn't

think it was that important.

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I said, "Well, I'll just do it later."

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Well, later became later,

and then became later.

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And

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I finally went to the Tampa VA and had

a colonoscopy in July of:

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um, got bad news, really bad news.

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Uh, I had been diagnosed

with rectal cancer

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And here's the funny part.

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I went in for the, uh, colonoscopy at

the VA, and you know, you have to drink

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the fluids before you can go take the,

the test, and you know, all that stuff.

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And, um, and I, and my sister drove me

down and finally got checked into a room

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late that evening, so I couldn't get any

food 'cause it was past the deadline.

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So all I had was breakfast

that morning before.

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So my sister left, and I got checked

into my room to get prepped for the

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next day, and, uh, got rolled up to

the, uh, colonoscopy clinic or wherever

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it was there at the VA in Tampa.

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And the doctor told me the procedure.

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Yeah, I said I did this about

10-plus years ago at Bay Pines,

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and I know what the procedure is.

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You're gonna put me to sleep, you're

gonna probe up my butt, and take a look

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and tell me what's going on inside.

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And he goes, "Yep."

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I said, "Great."

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So I fall asleep and wake up

in the room And I said, "Okay,

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what do I get to eat tonight?"

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She goes, "Uh, well, we're sorry, but

there's not gonna be any food tonight."

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I go, "Why?"

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She goes, "Well, the doctor says

we gotta do it again tomorrow."

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"What do you mean?"

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"Well, we have to do another

colonoscopy tomorrow.

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You were so full of shit."

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Ha, ha, ha.

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I know all these people say that to me

all the time, "You're so full of shit,"

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but literally I was so full of shit

that they couldn't get the probe in

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correctly to do a, a, a real good probe.

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So I get rolled into the exam room

or the prep room there, and the

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doctor, the anesthesiologist looks

at me and goes, "Wait a minute.

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Weren't you here yesterday?"

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I go, "Yep."

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He goes, "What happened?"

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I said, "Well, I bought the

two-for-one sale, buy one, get one

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free deal, and I'm back again today

'cause I was so full of shit."

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And he just started laughing.

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He goes, "Wow."

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So put me out again, did their little

magic up my butt, got back to the room,

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got some food, and lo and behold, the next

morning the, uh, chief surgeon came in.

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She, uh, came in, and at that

time I had no vision at all.

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I was almost totally blind.

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I mean, I could see, you

know, shadows and stuff.

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I could make outlines of

people with my left eye.

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My right eye…

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I mean, my left eye was gone.

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My right eye, I could, you

know, barely make you out,

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but I couldn't read anything.

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And she comes in and sits by the

side of my bed, and I'm going,

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"Oh, this is not gonna be good."

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And she brings out a, um, a diagram of,

you know, what they found and what they

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saw, and I said, I said, "Ma'am, I really

can't see what you're trying to show me.

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Could you pretty much explain

to me what's going on?"

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She goes, "Well, you have cancer

in your colon, in your rectum, and,

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um, we couldn't get it all out with

the, you know, the colonoscopy.

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There's still some stuff in there,

and there's some little nodules

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and all this technical stuff."

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And I get yelled at all the time because

I don't usually remember all the technical

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things and all the jargon and all the

stuff they tell me because you know what?

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I just think about, "Am I going to die?"

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That's it.

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That's all I cared about.

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"Am I going to die?"

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And she goes, "You could, but we

think we caught it soon enough that,

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you know, with, with, with, with some

care and treatment, you know, we can

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go in there and, and, and fix it."

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And I said, "Okay.

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What do we gotta do?"

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She says, "Well, we've gotta prepare

you for surgery, and then we're gonna

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go in and, and, um, get you through…

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First, before we do all the surgeries,

we're gonna take you in and, and run

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you through chemo and radiation, and

then we're gonna, you know, do the

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surgery later on to make sure that

you, you know, we got most of it so we

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don't have to take a lot out, and then

we're gonna put you on a, a poop bag."

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I go, "One of those shit bags?"

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She goes, "Yeah."

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I said, "How long?"

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She goes, "For the rest of your life."

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And I go, "Oh, no, I don't think so."

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So what happens now, you

go into survival mode.

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My friend Pete and I started doing

research on it, trying to find other

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doctors and other hospitals that, you

know, dealt with this kind of procedure.

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And no, no, no, no

slander on the, on the VA.

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They do…

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I mean, I got…

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Every time I went to a VA facility, I

had excellent care, excellent services.

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Uh, you know, other than

a couple of aftercare, uh,

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which was a debacle in Tampa.

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It was one of the worst, and I, I don't,

I, I hate to talk about the aftercare

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sometimes because it, it just…

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It was, it was terrible.

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I mean, I called my sister and Pete and

said, "Get me the fuck out of here now."

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It was terrible and I, you know.

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And, uh, that was a whole nother episode.

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I, I really don't wanna talk

about the negatives of it.

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There, it was, it was

just a bad experience.

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So, you know, the doctor says,

"We'll, we'll, we'll, you know, we'll

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do the chemo and do the radiation.

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We'll do the PET scans and we'll see where

you are, and then we'll, we'll evaluate as

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to what we should do about the surgery."

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And when she told me she was gonna

put me on an ostomy bag for the

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rest of my life, I just went, "No."

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So we started doing research, hospitals,

you know, all the, the, the hot, the

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cancer centers in Tampa and all around the

country and here and there and everywhere.

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And, um, at one point, my friend

Pete had a friend who worked for

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a doctor at Tampa General who

specialized in, in cancer surgeries.

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So I called and asked if I

could get an appointment.

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Now, to try to get an appointment

in that short a period of

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time um, is just remarkable.

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And while I was, um, at Tampa General

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The

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Um, I lost my train of thought there.

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No, back up.

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Back up

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I had to go through chemo and radiation,

and there was a regimen of it.

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And, uh

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Ah,

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I was at Tampa General

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And I ended up having a doctor

that we found, his name was Dr.

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Morissette, and he specialized in a

certain colorectal cancer procedure.

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Minimally invasive.

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They go in and do a little cut in

your side, and then, um, go in and

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take out the part that they need to

take out, put you on a bag for, uh,

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so the pro- you know, so things can

heal, and then they do a reversal.

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And I go, "Oh, okay."

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He says, "But you gotta go through the

chemo and the radiation 'cause we wanna

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shrink it down as much as we can."

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So I, uh, I started chemo in August

of:

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procedure I did at Tampa General, and

I did that until October, November,

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I think it was, um, the chemo.

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Yeah, I think about that long.

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Yeah.

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It was…

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That, that was the

first, first phase of it.

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And then, uh, I had radiation

therapy, uh, for weeks on weeks

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where they come in and they zap you,

and they zap you, and they zap you.

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You know, it's, it's targeted to,

to really, you know, get, get the

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cancer Um, so it doesn't spread.

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They wanted to make sure

that they had a clean view of

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everything that was going on.

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So, you know, doing the chemo at the chemo

center, kind of ironically it was where

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my dad went when he had his issues years

and years before, and it was the same Dr.

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Gandhi there that, um, took

care of him, took care of me.

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And, uh, so I had about six cycles of,

uh, uh, cycles of whatever they do.

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You know, again, I, I got yelled at a lot.

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"Well, what did they do to you?

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What…

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" You know, you know, all I know is that,

uh, I was told that I was gonna lose

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my hair, gonna get sick, uh, I was

gonna puke, I was gonna lose weight.

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Um, all these nasty things could happen.

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And they put a pump in my

left shoulder, shoulder blade.

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That was the first procedure.

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And I, uh, went to Seven Rivers

Hospital, the hospital that I actually

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helped build, and I sold them that

property, and that was the first

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time I'd ever been in that hospital.

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My dad passed away there

at the, at Seven Rivers.

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And, uh, so I'm in there in the prep

room, and I said to the nurse, I was

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like, "Oh, this is my first time here.

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Uh, you know, I helped build this thing,

and I sure hope service is really good."

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And I kinda joked around and had some fun.

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And I, I couldn't see at all.

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And they said, "Well,

we're gonna shave you."

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I go, "Oh!"

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"No, your chest."

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"Oh."

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"Your shoulder blades or wherever it

is in, in your left, left or right."

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She goes, "We're gonna do both

sides just in case the doctor picks

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a better side to get a good vein

to put the pump in for the chemo."

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She goes, "That way they don't

have to poke you every time

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and hook you up with the chemo.

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They just plug it in and you go."

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So I said, "Okay."

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So I, uh, passed out, went to sleep,

woke up, and I got the little pump in

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the side of my left shoulder blade.

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I still got it.

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I got a ke- I kept it.

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I asked the doctor when they took it

out, I wanted it as a souvenir, as a

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reminder of the, uh, the severity of it.

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I mean, they're, they're gonna be

pumping nasty shit into your body

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that's supposed to kill the bad stuff

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So I got the pump in, and then we set up

the appointments for the, uh, the chemo,

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and then the radiation would come after

that or in the middle of all of that.

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And, uh, and they were both in La Canto.

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Luckily, they were across

the street from each other.

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So the first time I went in, you know,

did the procedure with the chemo, and

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the nurses were trying to tell me,

you know, "This is gonna be a little

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painful," and this and that, and,

you know, "It's gonna be kinda…

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You're gonna have yuckiness in

your, in your throat, and you're

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gonna feel nauseous, and you're

gonna wanna puke, and don't worry.

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Whatever you need to do, just do it.

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Don't worry about it."

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So they, uh, plugged me in,

and they started the little IV

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drip, and it was like three,

four hours sometimes at a time.

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And I, I think it was like two or th-

yeah, maybe three hours at a time.

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And I was there almost every day for

the first, oh gosh, seemed like weeks.

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And every day my sister would drive

me in, put me in there, and she'd

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go do some shopping and come back

and pick me up later, or somebody

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else would bring me there, Peter.

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Excuse me.

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And you just sit there, and you

just sit there, and you sit there,

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and you listen to conversations.

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And I, I gotta think about it.

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At that time too, I still couldn't see.

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I was, I was still blinded from the,

um, the botched, uh, c- uh, the botched

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surgery from my cataracts on my left eye,

and my right eye was still kinda crappy.

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So I'm sitting here hearing

conversations and hearing people

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crying and asking for help and asking

for the nurse, and they were in pain.

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And I'm sitting there

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And I, I don't know how to

phrase this or say this.

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I was sitting there guilty, absolute

guilt for every time I sat there.

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I didn't lose any of my hair.

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I lost, lost weight.

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I didn't have any pain.

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I didn't have any sicknesses.

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I had no loss of appetite.

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I didn't lose any, you know, I, I

didn't have all the, quote, "symptoms"

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that they told me I was going to have.

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And I don't know

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what came over me, I sat there

and I started thinking about these

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people and started praying for them.

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And I'd hear conversations in the

background, people around me talking

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or on my sides, left or right.

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And every once in a while, I'd try to,

you know, bring up a conversation with

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someone, and they would just be quiet or,

you know, just in their own heads trying

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to cope with what they were going through.

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And I'm thinking, "Wow,

this is really, really

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Stressful for everybody.

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Excuse me

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I, I didn't know what to think.

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I didn't know what to feel.

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No one told me what to expect.

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I mean, I'm-- they told me what to

expect, and I'm sitting there day after

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day after day, you know, going through

the process And, and, and then some

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days I'd get done with the chemo and

then go across the street for radiation,

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'cause radiation was over six months and

the chemo was over six months, so they

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kinda interchanged between each other.

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So I'd get done with the chemo,

and I'd just jump across the street

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and go into the radiation, and,

um, that was a whole nother animal.

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Um, kinda interesting part, and I'll,

I'll get back to the chemo again.

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Uh, the radiation was kinda interesting.

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When you went in, they…

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The first time you go in to meet

with the, uh, doctor and the, and the

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staff, they do a casting of your feet.

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And I go, "Why are you casting my feet?"

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She goes, "This way when we put

you on the table, you're in the

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same position every single time.

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'Cause if you wear different shoes or

socks or something like that, we just

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take your shoes off, put your feet d- you

know, your feet with your socks into these

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casts, and we put it on our system so that

it, it, it lines up exactly the same place

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every time so that we don't have to worry

about we're not zapping the right places."

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And I go, "Wow, that's pretty cool."

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So I had my own private cast.

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I tried to get 'em to give 'em

to me after they were done.

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They didn't do it.

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But I did get, you know, some

other things in, in exchange.

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So you're lying there in this big old

machine and, and again, I can't see.

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I have no vision.

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And I could hear the thump,

thump, thump, thump, thump, thump,

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thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.

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I mean, it's just, you know,

taking pictures like crazy

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and doing its radiation thing.

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And they have music in the background.

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And she goes, "Well, what do you like?"

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I said, "Well, I like, you know, early

rock, you know, '60s, '70s, '80s."

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So in the background, you know, they had

a rock station, and I'd listen to music.

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And about, I don't know, three, four

days into it, I picked up a rhythm

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that, um, a song would start, and

usually it would start, yeah, pretty

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close to when they started the zapper.

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And I'd listen to the songs, and

the zapper would, you know, do its

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thing, and it had its positions it was

gonna shoot for, and it moves here,

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moves there, moves here, moves there.

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You know, it's constantly in motion, and

it's, it's, it's strategically set up to,

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you know, to, to zap at certain areas.

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And, uh, I, I got to the point where

I knew about when it was gonna end.

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It was a four-song

zapping system or session.

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Uh, songs back then were, like, three

minutes and 20 seconds, you know,

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plus or minus, uh, uh, a little bit.

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So three, six, nine, 12.

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So I figured 12 to maybe 15

minutes I'd be on the table.

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So when the song started,

I'd listen to the music.

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I knew that when we got to the fourth

song, we about almost about done.

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I got pretty good at it, and the

nurse goes, "How do you know that?"

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I said, "I just listen to the music."

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Uh, the music was in my head

the whole time I was there.

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You know, I didn't hear the, uh, the,

uh- the, uh, zapper just going nuts.

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I mean, you know.

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I mean, it's radioactive stuff, dude.

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You know, it, it's, it's…

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I don't know how to explain it, but you

c- you can hear it, and it's basically

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targeted at my prostate to kill whatever

this thing was that was in me growing.

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And, uh, it was really funny 'cause it

happened around Halloween, and I said

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to my sister, "I'm going in black."

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She goes, "What?"

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"I'm gonna wear all black."

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So I walked in as, as the, the picture of

death, and the staff just kinda looked at

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me, and I, I just got them all to laugh.

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I said, "Look, I wanna thank all of you

for your support, your help, you know,

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your kindness, y- you know, a- and, and

the patients there that, you know, were

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going through the same procedures."

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And, uh, that was an experience that,

again, I was, I was fortunate enough to

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have, uh, a stage II, and the doctor,

both-- all the doctors decided they

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were gonna treat it as a stage III.

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They were gonna be a

little more aggressive.

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They thought with my health the way it

was, uh, that I didn't have any other

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preexisting conditions, that my body

could take the chemo, and the radiation,

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and the surgeries, you know, without

a lot of, um, w- with a lot of issues.

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So,

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we got through with the radiation,

and then the chemo was still going on.

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And then, um, the next

phase was to meet with Dr.

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Morsette at Tampa General.

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He developed this robotic system

called da Vinci, I guess it's called.

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It was a assisted laparoscopic

resectioning of the lower,

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uh, part of my colon.

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I mean, he, he designed

and developed this system.

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And thank God for Pete and his, uh,

somebody in his family knew the doctor.

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We called on a Monday.

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We were in his office by Friday

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And, um, he said, "Yep, here's what

we're gonna do, how we're gonna do it."

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And they scheduled me for surgery.

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And, uh

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Um, that was it.

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I mean, we did the surgery

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at Tampa General

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Now, I'm, I'm, um

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blinded because of the botched cataract

surgery in the last episode, so I

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can't really see what's going on.

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So Dr.

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Morsette come to see me in the

room after the procedure, and

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he asked me how I was doing.

365

:

I said, "I'm doing great, thank you."

366

:

And he goes, "Let me ask

you about your eyes."

367

:

I go-- I told him about my eyesight,

you know, I was having issues with,

368

:

you know, my vision and everything.

369

:

And he goes, "Really?

370

:

Okay, let me see if I can do something."

371

:

Lo and behold, the next day, if you

remember the last episode, three

372

:

doctors from his eye clinic show up in

my room looking at my eye, examining

373

:

it, while I'm just finishing a surgery

for my colon, which my rectal surgery.

374

:

And I was like, "Wow, this is amazing.

375

:

What a great staff of people here who,

you know, listen to the patient and-

376

:

Don't treat you just like a number.

377

:

Now, don't get me wrong, I've had

blood drawn probably in the last

378

:

six years 500 times, at least.

379

:

Minimum 500 times I've been

poked, and I can tell you a

380

:

good poker versus a bad poker.

381

:

Well, this dude came in, I

guess that night or the first

382

:

night of this after the surgery.

383

:

He was either in a hurry or

whatever was going on in his head,

384

:

and he poked me so hard it hurt.

385

:

I said, "You get the fuck away from me.

386

:

Don't even come near me."

387

:

I don't know what he did.

388

:

He, he hit a nerve in my arm.

389

:

He was in a hurry, and I said, "Don't

you ever come back here again."

390

:

And they got someone

else to, to finish up.

391

:

And, you know, I, uh, most of

the m- I, I gotta say 99.98%

392

:

of all the doctors and nurses,

the assistants, the tech people,

393

:

great, great patient individuals.

394

:

Um, you know, especially when you're

sitting in that chemo room and the

395

:

nurses are walking around checking

on everybody, making sure that, you

396

:

know, they're, they're all doing well.

397

:

And the doctor at Tampa

General, you know, Dr.

398

:

Morrissette would send the eye doctors

into my room to talk to me about my

399

:

eye situation, um, and, you know,

with the cornea transplant, which

400

:

was discussed briefly but not even

brought on the table yet because I had

401

:

so many other things to worry about.

402

:

They just wanted to get a cataract

surgery done on my other eye, my

403

:

right eye, and then they were gonna

address the left eye, which we talked

404

:

about on the, on the last episode.

405

:

But, you know, this all ties in together.

406

:

You know, you, you've got…

407

:

And I tried to segregate these

procedures in, in, you know, their

408

:

own whole, but you know what?

409

:

They were dynamic.

410

:

They were all intertwined between

the blindness, the cancer, my hips.

411

:

Um, it was just, phew, a lot, a lot to

take in in such a short period of time.

412

:

So I would say the last, you know,

five plus years since, uh, August

413

:

2020 till August 2026, you're

hearing it here l- live, uh, uh,

414

:

uh, my cancer is in remission.

415

:

I had a scan done, uh,

a couple of months ago.

416

:

Go back again in, in six

months, and then it's annual.

417

:

Had my annual for the VA, and I got a

couple issues with some things, but most

418

:

of the things have been pretty good.

419

:

So the cancer is in remission, uh, no,

no further spots or anything like that.

420

:

Um, oh, excuse me.

421

:

Damn.

422

:

Um, my right eye is working good.

423

:

My left eye is even better.

424

:

Got a new lens, better lens, sharper lens.

425

:

But, you know, the cancer was

really one of those awakenings

426

:

You hear about it, you know, and

people talk about it, and you see

427

:

it on, on TV and, and in the news,

and and you wonder, "God, how?"

428

:

But you know

429

:

Ja

430

:

I, I don't know what I

would've done differently

431

:

I knew that I wasn't going to take lying

down the first opinion from the VA that

432

:

they just were gonna, you know, cut me

open after they zapped me and put me

433

:

on a bag for the rest of my life, that

there were other choices out there.

434

:

You gotta be an advocate for yourself.

435

:

And, and some people go, "Well,

you know, why are you doing…"

436

:

And I, I got that from

my, some family members.

437

:

"Why are you doing this?

438

:

Why you, why you?"

439

:

I said, "Because I want to.

440

:

I wanna know what my choices are.

441

:

I wanna know if there

is another alternative.

442

:

If there is, let's go for it."

443

:

I mean, there is absolutely

no reason not to do it, and

444

:

I, um, I gotta say that

445

:

It was hard.

446

:

It was very hard

447

:

Going through these procedures alone.

448

:

Yeah, I had family around and

friends, but you're alone.

449

:

You're in the room by yourself

450

:

But not by yourself.

451

:

You're in a room with 30, 40 people

getting chemo and radiation treatments

452

:

and, and you know what they're

going through, some worse than you.

453

:

Uh, I actually was at chemo one

day and a friend of mine's wife was

454

:

there in the lobby and I d- hadn't

seen him 'cause I couldn't see.

455

:

He came over and he said hello.

456

:

I hadn't seen him in years.

457

:

And, uh,

458

:

you just don't know

459

:

what you're gonna do, how you're

gonna respond, how you're gonna react.

460

:

I, I didn't know what to expect.

461

:

I was

462

:

Scared shitless.

463

:

No pun

464

:

Uh, relationship that had gone

south a couple years before.

465

:

So there was really no one close

in my life other than family

466

:

And in the interim of all of this,

that brief period when I had my

467

:

vision and I was still working at

the mall doing some stuff, I, uh, was

468

:

on a dating site and I met someone.

469

:

Now this was at between the eye

surgery and getting my sight back

470

:

and then just before I lost my

sight again about four years ago

471

:

I met someone on Facebook

472

:

And, uh, I don't know what, what

sparked me to her, what caught my

473

:

attention, but she had a pretty smile.

474

:

And I said hello, and she said hello.

475

:

And I go, "Oh, okay.

476

:

That works.

477

:

So we're gonna talk maybe?"

478

:

And, you know, I

479

:

I, I didn't know

480

:

How to tell her that I was going

through all of this stuff at this time

481

:

And this was like May of '22

482

:

Still have my vision just briefly

483

:

And, uh

484

:

I was finishing up my, uh,

radiation in, in '22, I think.

485

:

Yeah, it was '22.

486

:

May of '22.

487

:

And, uh,

488

:

we just started talking and come

to find out she was going through

489

:

some health issues at the same time.

490

:

And, uh, I go, "Well, maybe

we can have some dinner."

491

:

She goes, "Eh, maybe not."

492

:

I go, "Huh?"

493

:

She goes, "I'm in New Mexico."

494

:

Oh, yeah, that's right.

495

:

Uh, she was in New Mexico.

496

:

So we went back and forth with

some text messages, and I said,

497

:

"You know, I love texting, but, you

know, I, I'd rather talk to you."

498

:

So someplace in May of 2020-- or '22,

I'm sorry, um, we started talking

499

:

'cause I was finishing up my radiation

and she was asking 'cause she had been

500

:

through some procedures and chemo.

501

:

Um, I was still doing

the chemo part in '22

502

:

And, uh, we just kinda hit it off.

503

:

We hit it off.

504

:

We became, uh, partners in crime.

505

:

She was going through her health issues,

and she was dying to get back to Florida.

506

:

Her mom lived in Florida, her

sister and brother lived in Florida.

507

:

So we just, you know, kept in touch and,

uh, continued on with our lives as if,

508

:

uh, we'd known each other for years.

509

:

More on her later.

510

:

So the moral to the story

511

:

Get your colonoscopies

512

:

Especially now that they've

dropped the age down.

513

:

I think it was like 50, now it's like 45.

514

:

You know?

515

:

Yeah, it's a little intrusive.

516

:

It's a little, you know,

pain in the butt-ish.

517

:

But I think, uh, i- if, if you don't

go do it, you're gonna be sorry

518

:

that you didn't do it, and there's

absolutely no reason not to go do it.

519

:

And, uh

520

:

Don't take the first doctor's opinion.

521

:

Go out and talk to a bunch more,

see what they all say, see if it all

522

:

matches up, if there's any outliers.

523

:

Because look, they're

only, they're only human.

524

:

They can only go by, based on their

experience and their knowledge base.

525

:

And had it not been for Pete and I

doing some more research into other

526

:

opportunities, I would have never

had the opportunity to meet Dr.

527

:

Morsette

528

:

Yeah, I would have gone through

the chemo and radiation, and then

529

:

the VA would've, you know, chopped

me up and put me out the door

530

:

So where am I today?

531

:

Well, it's been two years

532

:

Uh, did my, uh, scan about,

oh gosh, six months ago maybe.

533

:

Yeah, something like that, six months ago.

534

:

And, you know, I've gotta, I've gotta

go in and do, uh, another scan in about

535

:

three months, and then it's annuals.

536

:

Um, so I'm keeping on top of it.

537

:

I'm not, um, I'm not going to, uh,

play any games with any of this.

538

:

Uh, it's, it's, it's very

important to me that, uh, I keep

539

:

on top of my health concerns.

540

:

Right now I'm pretty healthy.

541

:

I've lost a shitload of weight.

542

:

I was about 179, 185, I think at

one time at the highest, and now

543

:

if I break 155, I'm doing good.

544

:

And I eat.

545

:

I just can't put on the weight

'cause it ain't staying with me.

546

:

So I don't have a weight problem.

547

:

I don't have a cholesterol problem.

548

:

I don't have a heart problem.

549

:

The only problem I have is me,

and that's the big problem, me.

550

:

Everything else is fine

551

:

Being, again, in that

room during the chemo

552

:

Was probably one of the hardest phases

of everything that I've been through

553

:

At the end of your chemo,

traditionally they ring a bell to

554

:

say you're done with your chemo.

555

:

And the, and the nurse asked

me, "Would you like to do that?"

556

:

I go, "No, ma'am.

557

:

It's not done.

558

:

It's never done.

559

:

It's never over."

560

:

She looked at me kinda like, "Huh?"

561

:

I said, "You live with this

for the rest of your life.

562

:

All we can do is pray that it

doesn't rear its ugly head again."

563

:

I don't wanna create a false hope.

564

:

And it's not a false hope, it's, it's,

it's a great thing for people as a, as a,

565

:

uh, motivator and a lifter of, of spirits.

566

:

I, I don't think that way, unfortunately.

567

:

I take it from the more pragmatic view

of I've gotten this far, I'm still

568

:

breathing, I can still take care of

myself to some degree until my sight

569

:

gets back to where it should be.

570

:

I don't wanna be a burden on anyone.

571

:

And it's-- It, it, it,

it opens up your life.

572

:

And then to meet someone who was going

through cancer also and, and supporting

573

:

her during her times that she was

dealing with, you know, her issues,

574

:

and I couldn't be there to help her

a- and that was one of the hardest

575

:

things, uh, to not be able to support

her during that, you know, period.

576

:

And it was really funny 'cause I

got rolled into the, uh, aftercare.

577

:

I was at Tampa General for the

surgery, and they asked me,

578

:

"Well, where do you wanna go for

your, you know, post-op care?"

579

:

I said, "Well, what are my choices?"

580

:

"Well, you could be someplace

here in Tampa, or you can go back

581

:

to, you know, Crystal River."

582

:

So, you know, everyone's saying,

"Oh, come on back to Crystal River.

583

:

We can, we can, we can come

see you and take care of you."

584

:

And I go, "You're not gonna do that."

585

:

So anyway, I said, "Okay, let's

go to Crystal River or Lecanto."

586

:

So they put me in a rehab

center in, in Lecanto.

587

:

Now, I just had colorectal cancer surgery.

588

:

They put me in a freaking

wheelchair in the back of a van

589

:

from Tampa General to Lecanto.

590

:

They couldn't have laid me down.

591

:

That would've been really nice.

592

:

And I'm sitting on my ass for an hour

and a half, two hours in this van bopping

593

:

down the highway, and I'm thinking to

myself, "Oh, I hope I make it to the

594

:

rehab center before I gotta poop."

595

:

And did.

596

:

I got there, and they got

me checked into a room.

597

:

I had my own room for some reason.

598

:

Maybe they heard I was a pain in the ass

599

:

And, uh, got me settled in, got me another

bed 'cause the bed I was in was too short.

600

:

Uh, and then, uh, the food came

in, and I'm looking at this.

601

:

Oh, God, this…

602

:

Yeah, I, the f- Man, I, I wish they

would get into that military style food

603

:

like they're doing now on the bases in

the military is, is morale of the food.

604

:

I understand, you know, that they're

trying to keep people on certain diets

605

:

and, and watching their intakes and all of

that, but man, this stuff was like shit.

606

:

I mean, literally shit

607

:

So Pete had come by one night, and

it was, um, I think around Halloween.

608

:

No, not Halloween, Valentine's Day maybe.

609

:

And, uh, he goes, "What's that?"

610

:

I said, "Oh, Marie sent me some, some

treats and some balloons and some,

611

:

some candy and donuts and stuff.

612

:

And, and, uh, she got me a, a

sandwich from, um, oh God, Wendy's.

613

:

A bacon burger, bacon chip- triple burger.

614

:

So she ordered it, ordered

it from New Mexico for me.

615

:

It was the greatest meal

I had the entire time

616

:

lifted my spirits.

617

:

I mean, I was, I was in the dumps.

618

:

I didn't know what to expect.

619

:

You know, here I am, just had

colorectal cancer surgery.

620

:

I got a bag on me.

621

:

I don't know how to use it.

622

:

I can't see it to really speak of.

623

:

You know, and they

expect you to change it.

624

:

Well, luckily, the nurses and the aides

there were great about it and helped me

625

:

out with it, and had no issues with it.

626

:

I had only one issue the

entire time I had it.

627

:

I, I, I didn't get it clipped

correctly, and luckily I was in the

628

:

toilet, so it didn't make a mess.

629

:

But wow

630

:

You really don't know

631

:

What each day is gonna be like.

632

:

It was, it was a crapshoot.

633

:

I, I stayed in rehab, um, as long as

I could 'cause I didn't wanna put a

634

:

burden on my sister for getting around,

going to the bathroom, feeding myself.

635

:

So I built my strength back up and

they were taking me into the, uh,

636

:

exercise room and I'd, I'd fight 'em

on it because I also had a bad hip.

637

:

Now that's the next phase is the hip.

638

:

Well, my right hip is crapped out

and they're putting me on these

639

:

treadmill machines and stuff.

640

:

I said, "Look, I can't really do it.

641

:

My hip is killing me.

642

:

Plus, you know, the surgery

and you're wanting me to walk.

643

:

All right, I'll walk."

644

:

So they get me a walker and I just sprint.

645

:

She goes, "Slow down."

646

:

I said, "I don't walk slow, I sprint.

647

:

I don't sit in here and

dilly-dally around the room.

648

:

Let's just go.

649

:

If we gotta walk, let's go walk."

650

:

So got through that whole therapy

part, got home and rearranged my

651

:

bedroom so that I could make use of,

you know, the potty correctly and had

652

:

my s- stuff there and the nurses would

come in and check on me every day.

653

:

And then they, they had therapists come

in and start working on the therapy.

654

:

Even though my right leg, my right

hip was crapped out, we worked around

655

:

it so I could rehab and, and build

up my strength and food sources.

656

:

And you know, it was a stress.

657

:

I mean, my poor sister was trying

to deal with her fam- her issues,

658

:

which her health, she had health

issues too at the time, and family.

659

:

And here I am, you know, blind,

can't drive, can't eat correctly.

660

:

I, I had bad meal habits,

you know, it was just…

661

:

It was tough.

662

:

And then I had therapy

at home, which was good.

663

:

And then, you know, with the

appointments it was back to Tampa.

664

:

Whenever I had to go to see Dr.

665

:

Morsette it was down in Tampa, so you

know, it was another hour and a half

666

:

drive down and an hour and a half back.

667

:

And you know, there were a couple

times where Pete drove down and, uh,

668

:

I can recall one time coming home, my

sister was in the front, Pete was in

669

:

the front and we were driving back to

Crystal River and it started raining.

670

:

I mean, it rained so hard that

I could actually see out the

671

:

windshield that was blocked.

672

:

I mean it was that, I mean it was

thick and scaring the crap out

673

:

of me 'cause Pete's freaking out

over the, over the we- weather.

674

:

And it was nasty.

675

:

It w- it, it came down hard and heavy,

but we got through it and got home

676

:

But, you know, all those follow-up

appointments, you know, back and forth

677

:

to Tampa, um, with the, uh, you know,

the cataract surgery and then the,

678

:

the colon cancer or the rectal cancer

surgery, you know, the procedures for

679

:

going back and forth to Tampa there.

680

:

You know, you know, um, I got to the point

where I could, I could drive to Tampa

681

:

from Crystal River to Tampa General blind.

682

:

I knew exactly where we

were on the expressway.

683

:

I knew where we were in Tampa.

684

:

I could feel the road, and I knew what

part of the road we were on and where we

685

:

were in conjunction to the location of

either the hospital or the clinics, either

686

:

at Tampa General downtown or the one on

the campus there at, uh, University of,

687

:

of Flor- um, not University of Florida.

688

:

Uh, uh,

689

:

whatever it's called

690

:

And it was, um, it was trying.

691

:

Uh, I gotta say that I, I, you know,

uh, it was a burden on a bunch of

692

:

people, and I, I deeply appreciate

every single one of them that, that

693

:

gave their time to, to take me places.

694

:

Had I not had not…

695

:

You know, had I had my sight, it

would've been a different story.

696

:

I could have drove myself

to chemo and radiation.

697

:

I wasn't incapacitated.

698

:

I had my faculties.

699

:

You know, if had it not been for, you

know, the blindness part, which is kinda

700

:

critical, I would've been able to drive.

701

:

I, I know I would've been able to drive

'cause I know I came out of the chemo and

702

:

radiation not feeling sick, so I, I know

I could have driven myself to most of

703

:

those appointments to Tampa, other than

for my surgery appointments when they

704

:

did the, uh, the procedures on my eyes

705

:

You, you really, you really don't know

706

:

How much pain you can put up with

707

:

You really don't know

708

:

I'm looking at some notes

here of the cornea transplant.

709

:

Holy moly

710

:

They put in 12 additional stitches to

hold my cornea in the, in the post bed.

711

:

Like I said yesterday or the day before

on my other podcast about the, the

712

:

eyesight and the cornea, I just thank

God for that person, for their eyesight

713

:

As far as the cancer is concerned, there's

all kinds of cancers out there now.

714

:

Uh, there's a cancer for everything.

715

:

It's like, you know, spin the

wheel, they got a new one.

716

:

Thank goodness that there are people

out there who, uh, specialize in

717

:

how to help diagnose that type of

718

:

Trauma.

719

:

And it is a trauma to your system.

720

:

It's a trauma to your psyche

721

:

But I think with all these PET scans

that have been completed and I've gone

722

:

through clear, uh, there's a good chance

that everything's good, uh, for the

723

:

rest of my life, whatever that time is.

724

:

Could be a day, week,

month, years, seconds

725

:

I, I just wanna really reiterate,

re-thank a lot of people.

726

:

There's so many

727

:

who were there, put up

with some of my shit.

728

:

I understand.

729

:

Sometimes, again, I've said

this before, I'm not the easiest

730

:

person to get along with.

731

:

But I, I, like I said, a

friend of mine made a comment.

732

:

She, she said, "You've, you've

really mellowed out these

733

:

last three, four years."

734

:

And she was going through some stuff

in her life too that, you know, she

735

:

died on the, the table twice during

procedures that she had done to her

736

:

in Tampa, I mean, in, in Sarasota.

737

:

I'm trying to get her to tell

her story, and that probably will

738

:

be in one of my other episodes.

739

:

We're gonna share some stuff and,

and I want her to tell her story

740

:

of, of how she survived some of

the things that she went through.

741

:

And my other sweetie from, uh, New

Mexico talking about her trials and

742

:

tribulations and how she survived.

743

:

You know, we all survived for a reason

744

:

And we don't know what it is yet.

745

:

We will probably never know what

it is or why we're still here

746

:

but we weren't ready to check out

747

:

So what can I leave you with?

748

:

Some profound statement,

some, some worldly opinion

749

:

or some worldly advice or…

750

:

What, what, what is left

to be said other than

751

:

All of us have a number of mounted days.

752

:

We don't know when expiration date comes.

753

:

It's not stamped on our foot

754

:

We all have days that are

great, some not so great.

755

:

We have people who come into our

lives again and people who leave

756

:

Whatever state you're in now, if you've

gone through all of this and would

757

:

like to share it, someone said to

me, "Why don't you start doing that?

758

:

Make this, you know, something where

people can talk about the experiences."

759

:

Because a lot of times people don't wanna

talk about it, and I understand that.

760

:

I'll talk about anything

761

:

A lot of people don't

wanna share their personal

762

:

stories.

763

:

They don't think it's important

for people are gonna…

764

:

Look, I'm not doing this for

grandeur or hits on my site.

765

:

I'm doing it because right now it's

helping me get through some difficult

766

:

times, 'cause I know things are getting

better and better and better each day

767

:

This Saturday or Sunday, the 9th of

August, I'm gonna be 76 years old.

768

:

When this all started, I was 70.

769

:

I know guys my age that I've run into at

the American Legion, VFWs, you know, and

770

:

we'll sit and talk, and I'll, I'll look

at them and I'll say, "How old are you?"

771

:

And they'll tell me,

you know, "70, 71, 72."

772

:

And I go, "Whoa, you're just a youngster."

773

:

They go, "No, I'm 76 years old,

75 years old, 74 years old."

774

:

I go, "What?"

775

:

Yeah.

776

:

Part of it is your mental attitude.

777

:

I am sitting here behind

this microphone in my studio

778

:

this last week with a mission

to get these stories recorded.

779

:

And then I'm going to be adding

other stories of other individuals

780

:

who have been through the similar

circumstances if they wanna talk

781

:

I've said it before, if it just helps

just one person get through a difficult

782

:

time, helps one person see that this

isn't the end, it's just a new beginning

783

:

Ja ja.

784

:

I think I'm just gonna end it here.

785

:

Uh, it's becomes a little overwhelming

at moments when I start thinking about

786

:

all the people who I've met along the

way who were impacted at some point

787

:

I just wanna make sure that

788

:

I do them honor by praying

for them, thinking about them.

789

:

And all those people tomorrow

who are gonna be diagnosed with

790

:

something, who are gonna be going

down the same path of uncertainty,

791

:

not knowing what's gonna happen next

792

:

There's a reason why I'm doing this.

793

:

God hasn't told me what it is yet.

794

:

I didn't get a memo.

795

:

There is definitely a reason

for all of this happening

796

:

And with that, I wanna say

thank you for listening.

797

:

Thank you for letting me share my story.

798

:

And if you have your story you'd

like to share, I'd like the

799

:

opportunity to help you express it.

800

:

Again, this is Vinny DiRosa.

801

:

God bless you

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