This is your go-to Podcast, where we help parents navigate the complexities of family life. Hosted by Ali Kessler of Greyson’s Choice, we’ll cover everything from understanding domestic violence to navigating the legal system, finding the right therapists, life hacks, family law, mental health, custody battles, and how to protect children in dangerous situations.

In this enlightening conversation, Craig Parks, founder of ParentingHarmony.com, shares his insights on finding joy and connection in parenting amidst the chaos of everyday life. He emphasizes the importance of self-care for parents, the power of music in creating meaningful moments, and the significance of being present with children. Craig introduces his framework, Parenting A to E, which focuses on using affect to enhance connection and cooperation with kids. He provides practical tips for making everyday life special and highlights the importance of rituals in building lasting memories with children.

About Craig Parks:

Craig Parks is the founder of Parenting Harmony and creator of the Parenting A to E method — a practical approach that helps parents reduce stress, find joy, and strengthen emotional connection through music, play, and creativity.

With over 30 years of experience as a musician, educator, and camp director, Craig has worked with thousands of children and parents nationwide. His personal journey as a father, including raising a son on the autism spectrum, gives him a deep understanding of how overwhelming and isolating parenthood can feel — especially during times of change or challenge.

Through workshops, concerts, and his family show Parks Party Central, Craig inspires parents to rediscover connection in the smallest moments, proving that love and laughter can thrive even in the hardest seasons. Learn more at ParentingHarmony.com.

About Ali Kessler

Ali Kessler is a writer, marketing professional, passionate parent advocate, and founder of Greyson’s Choice, a 501(c)(3) created to raise awareness about the risk of domestic abuse on children. Greyson’s Choice was founded by Ali Kessler in memory of her sweet, vibrant, and fearless 4.5-year-old son, Greyson, who was murdered by his biological father in a murder-suicide during an unsupervised, court-approved visit in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, in 2021. This came just hours after her petition for a domestic violence injunction was denied by a Broward County judge, citing that the “petitioner has failed to allege any overt acts by the respondent which would constitute domestic violence under Florida Statute.”

Ali’s advocacy efforts culminated in the successful passage of Greyson’s Law during the 2023 legislative session. This bill now requires the court to consider threats against ex-partners or spouses when making child visitation and custody determinations in the court, expanding to include the following factors: evidence of domestic violence, whether a parent in the past or currently has reasonable cause to believe that they or a minor child is, or has been in imminent danger of becoming the victim of domestic/sexual violence by the other parent, even if no other legal action has been brought or is currently pending in court.

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Craig Parks Podcast

Today's guest is Craig Parks, founder of parentingharmony.com, a musician, educator, and father who's helping parents rediscover connection through music, play, and small intentional moments. As a father of two, Craig knows firsthand the struggles of balancing love, patience, and the demands of daily life.

With over 30 years of experience as a musician, camp founder, and educator, Craig now helps parents turn everyday moments to meaningful memories using his powerful framework called Parenting A to E. Today we'll talk about finding harmony after conflict, reconnecting with your kids during tough transitions, and how simple acts of creativity can bring peace back into your home, no matter what you're going through.

Craig Parks: Sure. Thank you, Ali. It's an honor to be on your podcast. You know, I think when most of us look back on our own childhoods, there are probably things that we think about in terms of our own relationship with our parents.

And I know for me that my parents were great, and my dad was very hardworking, so hardworking that he missed a lot of my childhood. He was often working seven, seven days a week 'cause back then it was like, that's how you showed your love as a man, like you just-

...

Craig Parks: You provide, right? But the moments that I, I do remember that we had joy was a lot of it was related to music and connection and even dance.

He'd put me up on his shoulders, and I remember dancing around the living room. He'd put on all sorts of great music. And some of those memories, I think they've really, really stuck with me. And as I became a parent, one thing that I, I wanted to make sure was that I actually was around. I wanted to make sure that I, I had as much time with my kids as possible, and then the time that I had was gonna be as connecting as possible.

And I know it's a real radical concept, right? But my whole life's work has been about providing kids spaces where they can feel loved, acknowledged, seen, and accepted for who they are. And you know, I've created a couple of summer camps. I've been a professional musician, kids musician, everywhere from babies to teenagers, and I've done a lot of teen development as well.

So I've worked with every age and no matter what age, I think every human being desires to be in a space where they feel seen, heard, and understood. And certainly, you know, when I started the camps that I, I ran and trained a lot of people how to work with kids- It was before I became a parent myself.

And so I live in San Diego and I've had, you know, a fair amount of influence with- in the San Diego community, but I, I realized that I actually want to share what I've learned beyond San Diego, and that's why I started Parenting Harmony. And it's been such a treat to see other parents be able to dig into these concepts around parenting A to E.

And so the A stands for affect. Now, when- Okay ... when my son Jonah was really young, he got diagnosed very early. I mean, he was around 18 months when we started getting services, speech therapy, occupational therapy, behavioral service, all these things. And in my experience of working with thousands of kids myself and then working with so many experts around autism and raising my own son, I've learned a lot.

And so-

Ali Kessler: Okay ...

Craig Parks: my course really teaches affect from like really literally from head to toe and how to use the voice. And I'll, I'll give you just one example that I think will be incredibly valuable to all of your listeners.

Ali Kessler: Okay.

Craig Parks: Oftentimes we don't even think about just the proximity of where our body is in relation to our child.

And so a lot of times we might think, "Wow, my kid isn't cooperating," you know? But oftentimes we're screaming across the room, "Hey Johnny, will you do this or do that?" And they're not really locked in. But the moment you actually go physically close to your child and you kneel down and you get eye level with your child, and then you make a request with sweetness in your heart, the level of cooperation will go up dramatically.

So that's just, that's just one powerful example of how do you use your body to maximize connection and cooperation.

So I believe that in actually all facets. So now many of our listeners are parents in the middle of divorce or custody ball- battles or trauma. When life feels heavy or unpredictable, how can parents start finding harmony with their kids?

Craig Parks: Great question. You know, I, I will tell you the, the very first thing that I actually speak to all parents about is their own wellbeing.

That is actually, that's, that is the critical piece, and I think so many parents they miss it for a number of reasons. One, I think they consider their self-care to be, a lot of them consider it to be selfish, and that's a mindset that absolutely has got to shift. I know for, for me as a parent with a kid on the autism spectrum, and I've led a lot of groups, support groups for parents who have kids with special needs, oftentimes parents who, um, have kids with special needs will isolate themselves.

It could be something as simple as putting on your favorite song just to kind of reset your nervous system. It could be something, like for me, I meditate every single day. Okay. And like, it's a, for me, that's a non-negotiable, and I know that that helps me to be as peaceful and as calm as possible in all my relationships, but especially with my kids.

So I think really the key is how do you get yourself to a place where you are in a good place? Are you eating well? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you doing the things that your physical, emotional, and spiritual s- system is gonna be taken care of? Because what I, I will tell you, I, when I'm super exhausted or I'm really hungry, I am much more likely to snap.

Ali Kessler: That's definitely true because if, if we're not, they're not, and they definitely read off us, so.

Now, you talk about small intentional moments. What does that look like for a parent? What is a small intentional moment?

Craig Parks: We can take our kids to Disneyland, and they will always remember that, right? But let's face it, like, most days of parenting are not the days at Disneyland. Most of the days that make up our parenting life is the mundane.

It's the making sure they're waking up. It's the making sure they're washing their hands. It's making sure that they're getting a bath. It's, you know, making sure that they're fed. So it's all of these everyday mundane things. And for me, I was like, "How do you make those things special? How do you make those things..."

They may not be exactly like Disneyland, but how do you make them memorable and connecting? And, you know, as I, I referenced, you know, my dad earlier, music was always a really, really important thing, and I... And as a professional musician, I realized, "Oh my gosh," like, " I could be really, really intentional about how I use music."

Ali Kessler: Okay

Craig Parks: So I have a, a, a hand washing song, right? So something as mundane as washing hands. Right. If you've got a little one, they could just go and wash hands. But if every single time that you're there with them or they're in there and they're singing rub.

Rub, rub, front," and they're singing this catchy tune every time and you use it as a ritual, they're gonna look back on their childhood and remember every time they washed their hands this song that's associated with sweetness and fun and connection. And so, part of my course too is I, I have these 14 songs that may...

And these are the songs I did with my own kids, right? There's a sweet lullaby that, you know, for bedtime, and there's a ba- a bath time s- song I did. I have a song that I used, that I would sing with my kids when I do diaper changes. And when you do, and when you do these things ritualistically, it is, it's quite extraordinary, like how it sets as a positive memory and connection with your child.

Decades later, here I am, and I still remember that song. And so-

Ali Kessler: Absolutely ...

Craig Parks: I was six years old, and it's still lodged in there. And so- Right ... if we could take that information and harness the power of music for connection, then man it is going to create such deeper and more joyful connections with our kids.

So music is definitely one of the things. Ritual.

Ali Kessler: Well, I just wanna, wanna interject there, because for me, I am very into music, and I grew up going to sleepaway camp my entire life. And I, till this day, still sing songs that I learned from camp and taught them to my child, and the two of us were singing about, you know, the littlest worm or whatever it may be.

You know? Music brings you back to a certain mind frame, place. You know, you can see, you can smell. It's pretty amazing like that.

Craig Parks: Yeah. And y- and so y- it brings you back, and again, you said it, it brings you back to that place, right? And, you know, and you could feel that, that sweet, loving connection, you know, you had with your son, and you understand, like, the power of, of music.

And I even love your background. Sure. Right? You have these blues legends in, in your background. And it's, it is, and it's absolutely true. And, and I know I've spoken to a lot of parents who will say to me Craig, you're a professional musician, and I, I don't really have a good voice, and I can't really sing to my kids."

Like, when you sing them a lullaby at night, or you sing, a bath time song they are just feeling cared for, they're feeling connected, and they're feeling your presence. And that's the thing, is that it's not about being perfect in any part of parenting, ' cause we're never, ever going to be perfect, and we're gonna, and we're gonna have issues, and there's always ways to repair.

But the, the key is presence, right? Is are you present with... And not even just with your kid. Are you present in your life? For me, like, the my meditation practice is about that, is about am I j- am I actually present with wherever I am in any given moment of the day? Is my mind taking me to the future?

Is it, like, thinking back to the past? Or am I like, am I in the moment with where I'm at right now? And so the more we can be present with our kids, our kids will feel that. Like you mentioned that earlier, right? They co-regulate off our energy, and they can feel when we're distant. They can feel when we're really, really connected, when we're laughing with them, when we're singing with them, dancing with them, playing with them, sitting down at a meal and not having our phones next to us, but really locked in.

Ali Kessler: So what are some ways that parents can make, you know, the everyday feel special when things are...

You can't always go to Disneyland, like you said, or afford big trips. How can you take just the, you know, little moments after school? How can you make that memorable?

Craig Parks: So I just, I just came out with a book called The Parent-Child Screen-Free Activity Book, and it was, it was actually taken- Okay ... it was actually taken from a show that I did with my daughter during the pandemic.

She was five years old. I fell into a funk right away, and I turned to her and I said, " Hey, Neshama, will you do a show with me?" And she's like, "Sure." And so we did this weekly show on my Facebook page called Parks Party Central. When the lockdown first happened, we all thought it was gonna be about a month.

And so these activities are they're silly. They don't take long. You don't need any equipment. And what was happening was as I was being present with my daughter during each week in lockdown, I realized just naturally funny, weird things would happen, and we would just be like, " Hey, let's do that on the show."

And so, it could be something as silly as, like, the, the finger relay race, where you lock pinkies and you... your ring finger, then your middle finger, then, right? And you time yourselves, right? And boom, you have a memory that is, that's gonna be happening, and you could do these little games.

We'd do this little silly dance called the tango that was actually... In, in fact, the first episode of Parks Party Central is on YouTube, and we do this silly dance called the tango. So any parent could go to YouTube, put in Parks Party Central, and see this little dance. And again, it takes, like, 30 seconds, but this is a dance that we've done a lot.

Just put on , your favorite song and just have a little dance party. So like these, these are the things, and I think so often we think about, you know, the big things, the big birthday party. It's got to be huge. You know, the, the big trip, the big vacation, and it's great to have those things. But again, like most parenting is not like how can you make bedtime really special?

Like in my course, I, I have a whole thing on bedtime rituals that I know my kids like will always remember, and it's extraordinary the amount of things that we could do just by being present.

Ali Kessler: Now, what do you tell a parent that not every parent has that silliness in them or that ability to just, you know, "Okay, we're going to do a dance party," or whatever.

I can, but a lot of people are just, you know, more reserved or whatever. What can you do... What can a parent do to sort of get in touch with that, that inner child, so to speak?

And so what I would say is this. I think that certainly people have different personality types, right? So for you, Ali, you're like, " I can do that. I know how to do that." A lot of parents have actually, I think, stopped remembering what it was like to actually be a kid themselves and feel the freedom to not be, to not be self-conscious, to just go and play.

And if we can remember that our kids actually want that playfulness and play, I challenge any parent to just Google the importance of play with children, and you will see the research on the importance of play in terms of your child's, social and emotional development, their brain development, pro-social behavior, all of it.

Play is really important. So I would challenge parents who are like, "Well, I'm not silly," or, "I'm not goofy," to actually just stretch just a little bit, right? And it could be something as simple as when you're reading a book, instead of just reading the book straight, when there's characters, just change your voice just a little bit more than you did last time, right?

You know, it could be something silly like when I get my guitar out, I won't take it out of the case, right? And I'll start strumming the case, and I'll be like, "Oh, it's not working." You know, I'm going, like, crazy and they're going crazy with me, like, "It's in the case," and so I think that when we start discovering our own sense of how to use our affect, use our body and our voice, we realize we can connect a lot more.

And even with older kids, where it's not gonna necessarily be silly, it could be something as simple as, um, this is something I teach. When, like let's say you have a teenager and they, they actually open up to you. They, that rare moment where they open up to you.

Ali Kessler: Yeah.

Craig Parks: There's something that you could do with your body that is really subtle.

Ali Kessler: Getting comfortable.

Craig Parks: But a lot of times, we'll be on our phone, or we'll, we're kind of like walking away a little bit. And when we are really present and mindful of how are we using our body to show our presence, the whole world of relationship changes dramatically.

Ali Kessler: Right. Now, do you suggest that parents start all of this as young as possible, as when their child is young as possible?

Craig Parks: Yeah, absolutely. I think, I think you become aware of this before your child is even born, and like you could start- Right ... on day one. But really- Right ... it's, it's never too late.

But, big expressions in the face, and in the vocal range as well, were ways that I knew that we were locked in, and we were connected. And, and music was another huge, huge one. In fact, my son, he is now verbal, and he's a- actually an extraordinary musician himself. We actually, we play-

Ali Kessler: Nice

Craig Parks: yeah, he's a drummer, and he's a DJ, and we play music together. And we actually, during the pandemic, or right before the pandemic, we started a little YouTube channel called Parks and Pals, and you could see my son playing drums. And I got my friends, and we did these number-one hit songs from, like, the early years of rock and roll.

And so mu- Yeah ... again music is really huge.

Ali Kessler: Yeah. No, I, like I said, I'm the same. I mean, I started singing, you know, to my son while he was still in my belly. And I know when he was like before s- even talking, I would sing a camp song that was just so silly, but it had a lot of hand motions and voices that I learned when I was a kid, and that was, like, one of the first things he said.

And he would just start singing that, and it's amazing how much socialization that he learned and, fine motor skills and pretty much, you know-

Craig Parks: Language development ... a lot. Lang- Oh, yeah. It's huge. One of the, one of the songs that I wrote with my daughter actually was born out of frustration.

You know, when they g- when they learn the word no, and they say no to everything? And I ended up writing a song called My Favorite Word is No, and it became, actually, it was beautiful because it was it was born out of frustration, like, gosh, she's saying no to everything. So it's... And I'd, I'd say, "Your favorite instrument's the piano," and she'd go, "No."

You know? And I did the, "Your favorite spice is oregano." No. "No." And yeah, so, so that's one of the recordings. That's like

Ali Kessler: Laurie Berkner. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you know who she is.

And, and again, like music and using music ritualistically is huge. And yes- Yeah ... in terms of, you can, you can start... You're right, 'cause even in utero, they've done studies. They can hear. They can hear- For sure ... vibrations and music even- Yeah ... in utero.

Ali Kessler: No, my son was so musical at, you know, and as, even just as a toddler.

I mean, I once took him to the doctor's office for, you know, he had a rash on his face, and we're waiting and waiting, and all of a sudden he just starts singing, and he goes, "This little dude, he's got a rash." And I have it on video because he went from there to, "Do a ditty, ditty, dum, ditty." I, I don't even know what he was doing, but I have it all on video, and it is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

And he was just three years old. So I totally get it. Now this A, parenting A to E. You said the A and the E. Are there letters in between?

Craig Parks: No. So the, the A stands for affect, so we really start locking into affect and, and teaching affect in terms of how do you use the head, right? How do you use the body?

So the, that's the A, is the really understanding the A. The A to E is the affect to the effect- Getting there ... the effectiveness- Right ... of love and trust and joy with your, your child. And the course is called From Stress to Smiles, 'cause that's, we just want to be able to lower our own stress and en- enjoy our parenting journey more.

Ali Kessler: Absolutely. So I did read that you once got a piece of, parenting advice before your child was born. Is that something that you can share with our listeners? Any words of wisdom-

Craig Parks: So

Ali Kessler: this is- ... that like shapes their parenting philosophy?

Craig Parks: I, I think that the main one was just to remember that our kids are really resilient, and that we don't need to be perfect.

And you know, and at some point, I guess it was up to me to stop giving her water in the back of the car. But in...

Ali Kessler: There was this one day where I

Craig Parks: I was like, I was not at my best. I was probably tired, exhausted, I was probably hungry, and there was probably some other stress going on in my life. And she spilled it, and I just got

I s- I snapped. And like, I grabbed some of her artwork that she did at school and I dried up the water with that artwork, and I just ... And I felt like such garbage. I felt so awful afterwards. And, and later that night at bedtime, there's something special about bedtime. You know, you're laying, you're snuggling.

And it's okay to be angry, we'll all get that. It's not okay to, to do what I did. It's not okay to hurt people or their things. And I just really are-" I think we've all been

Ali Kessler: there.

Craig Parks: Yeah. Right? And she was so sweet about it. You know, she, she just totally forgave me and she gave me a big hug, and she said, "Daddy, I love you so much."

And, and this was, again, years and years ago. And it's funny 'cause just actually, just yesterday she brought it up again in like a really, really joking way, right? And we laughed about it. I'm like, "Wow, you don't let that go." But I think what also is associated with that memory for her is that I actually did repair it, and that's why we could still joke- Right

And that's,

Ali Kessler: that's hope. And sometimes what we think is such a big deal isn't to them. Like, they don't even remember. Like, um, you know, if I was like, "Oh my God, I've been thinking about how awful I was all day," and my son was like, "What are you talking about?"

Craig Parks: It happens too. But you know, even in that circumstance, Ali, it's like it's great because it shows them like the level of just thoughtfulness, and it's another act of, of love, right?

They're like, wow, that ... Like mom or dad are really like thinking about that. How sweet.

Ali Kessler: So for parents that are listening who feel like they've maybe lost their spark or their sense of peace, what is one small doable thing that they can start doing today to bring some more harmony and joy into their home?

Craig Parks: Okay. Bedtime. I talked about bedtime. Yeah. It is a really, really special time. So this is something you'll experience every night. Okay. So I know for some parents, and I've heard this, they're like they want their kids to go to bed allri- already. Like they just wanna have their own time, and I totally get that.

There's a lot in the ritual, and yeah, it'll probably take about a half hour, but it's a beautiful half hour. But it doesn't even have to be a half hour. It- but they do need attention. You want to, like, recreate that spark. Kids open up at night. There's something about the darkness and about, like, snuggling in bed, where you can talk to them.

But here's one, one exercise that you could do. This is part of the ritual that I would do. The- I had many that are, like, really, really fun and beautiful, but one is just a gratitude ritual, right?

Ali Kessler: Okay.

Craig Parks: And asking them, like, what are they really grateful for, maybe for the day or just in general in their life.

Like, what are they super grateful for? And then you share yours, and that's a really beautiful thing to do. And then-

Ali Kessler: Yeah, I like that.

And I'd be like, "I hope you dream tonight about..." And then I would come up with these elaborate stories and that are, like, really silly and really goofy and, Right ... and it just was, like, very heartwarming to have that level of connection. And in my course, I actually teach the framework of how to create these stories.

Ali Kessler: Okay.

Craig Parks: You know, even as recently, you know, my daughter's 11 now. Even as recently as just, like, six months ago, you know, she was like, "Hey, Dad, will you do hopes for my dreams?" You know, 'cause you figure, like, they'll grow out of it at some point, but-

...

Craig Parks: You'll be surprised they're long- That's a ritual.

Yeah. Right. And so I know, like, that's a ritual that will always stay, stay with them. So that's one thing that you could do just to make every day better. It's like end every single day with that level of sweetness. And also, I cannot overestimate just how important physical touch is as well.

Snuggle, snuggle with them. Snuggle with them at bedtime when you're doing the gratitude practice.

Craig Parks: So the, my, the main course is the Parenting A to E, and I, I teach complete affect of both the body and the voice.

That's kind of module one of the course. The second one is these 14 songs that are great for when you asked about, "Well, how do you turn the mundane?" Like, I have a song for waking up in the morning. I have a song for ba- bath time, for mealtime. I have a song for playtime. Like, I have all these song- and certainly I have a lullaby that is so sweet to sing to your kids as well.

So there's f- these 14 songs that are really fun and that you could just listen to, but I really encourage parents to actually sing them. They're simple melodies, and they come with the lyrics, and they come with videos of me teaching about how to maximize the use of th- these songs. The third module are these 10 activities that you can do, because the first module, when I'm teaching about affect, you need to be able to practice it in real life.

So it's things that you just, you don't need to spend money on. You can just go and just do these activities. So and then I've got the bonus material. I've got the bedtime rituals, I got bath time rituals, and I've got this other thing called How to Get Your Kids to Clean Up Their Clothes Off the Floor Without Nagging Them.

So but that's the course. And then I've got two books, two e-books as well.

Ali Kessler: Okay.

Craig Parks: One is How to Stress Less and Have More Fun with Your Kids, and then I've, the latest book I just came out with was I took 25 activities from the show I did with my daughter, Parks Party Central, and it's the Parks Party Central Screen-Free Parent-Child Activity Book, and it's got 25 activities that are so crazy fun to do with your kids.

Craig Parks: No, so you go to my website. You go to- Okay ... parentingharmony.com, and-

Ali Kessler: Okay ... and

Craig Parks: you can get it there. And, and I wanted to say this to, to any parent listening to this. If the price level for any of these is out of reach, please reach out to me, because my goal here is to actually have...

Like, if there are parents who really want this information and really want to improve their level of joy in their parenting journey, I want parents who are motivated to be able to have this, and I will work with any parent as well.

Ali Kessler: That's great.

Craig Parks: Yeah. And I, I'm also available for, for coaching.

So just reach out to me, [email protected]. Um, I'm also on... I'm on TikTok. I do daily TikTok videos to, to help parents as well. That's great. And I'm also on Instagram at Parenting Harmony as well, so a lot of ways to get in touch with me.

Okay. I

Ali Kessler: will put all of your links in, in our show notes, so if you wanna make sure I have them all, I will include them, and, uh, a way for people to contact you, of course.

Craig Parks: That would be great. Well, Ali, thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure- Yeah ... to be on with you.

And like you said, it's not about perfection. It's about being present, and those little moments of love that we share become the memories that help our kids and us really move forward and be stronger. Yeah. So if you'd like to learn more about Craig's work, please visit parentingharmony.com. And as always, thank you so much for joining me, and I hope to connect again soon.

Craig Parks: Thank you, Ali.

Ali Kessler: Thanks.