Artwork for podcast Devil's Trap: A Supernatural Podcast
6:13 Unforgiven
Episode 1327th April 2023 • Devil's Trap: A Supernatural Podcast • Don't Be A Dick Productions
00:00:00 01:25:10

Share Episode

Shownotes

Should Supernatural be "Unforgiven" for Season Six Episode 13? Maybe. Liz can't even pretend to talk about fake giant spiders so instead, its a quiz about people in web cocoons? Eh sure.

Research Links

Transcripts

Jerk:

On this week's episode of Devil's Trap podcast, we're going to talk about season six, episode 13. Hi, I'm Diana.

Bitch:

Hi, I'm Liz and it's called Unforgiven and Diana didn't say that, but sometimes she says it and sometimes she doesn't. So now

Bitch:

I'm discombobulated, but it's unforgiven, which makes me think of Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi had an unforgiven, right? I don't

Jerk:

So.

Bitch:

know. I don't know. Hey, what's going on? What'd you do?

Jerk:

Hey, I had a pretty exciting weekend.

Bitch:

You did!

Jerk:

Had a fun night bopping around from Fort Worth all the way through Arlington bars. Shout out to Caves Lounge. Always a cool spot to stop by. And had a fun time one night this past weekend. And then I was in Norfolk, Virginia.

Bitch:

Yeah. So what she's saying is she was bar hopping. Then she went and hopped on a plane

Jerk:

Yes,

Bitch:

to Virginia the next day. That's just

Jerk:

correct.

Bitch:

like crazy, crazy

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

pants.

Jerk:

I felt I felt very young for a minute.

Bitch:

Hehehe

Jerk:

But now I flew I was up in Virginia to welcome my brother who is a member of a sailor in the US Navy

Bitch:

Hello sailor!

Jerk:

return. Yeah, his ship returned from their deployment. And we were me and my folks were there along with his lovely wife,

Bitch:

And then their name is Frankie, makes me happy. Come

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

on.

Jerk:

Yeah. And, um, and her, and her mom and stepdad were there. And so we got to watch the boat come. The boat is a boat is a terrible word for it. It's a ship. It's a

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

big

Bitch:

think

Jerk:

ass

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

ship.

Bitch:

get punched if you call it a boat.

Jerk:

I think

Bitch:

Like

Jerk:

you can't

Bitch:

I'm going

Jerk:

call

Bitch:

to get

Jerk:

it a boat.

Bitch:

very

Jerk:

I think it's against

Bitch:

offended.

Jerk:

the rules. Yeah. So his ginormous fucking ship with 5,000 people on it, uh, pull into, um, pull into the, to the pier and, uh, watch it to see him come off. And, you know, you get to watch all the. the family reunions and you're all in the fields and it was really sweet and special and I hadn't seen my brother in a long time so I was very happy to do that. So it was awesome and see him doing so well and it was really sweet.

Bitch:

in the Navy. Did they play that? The band?

Jerk:

I don't think they did.

Bitch:

What? So like there was a band there. I've heard tales of the band. The band

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

did

Jerk:

they

Bitch:

not

Jerk:

had some

Bitch:

play

Jerk:

bad entertainment.

Bitch:

in the Navy. What the fuck?

Jerk:

No, but they but they did play Bon Jovi, funny enough. So there's your circle back. But now it was it was it was definitely

Bitch:

Wish Bon

Jerk:

an

Bitch:

Jovi!

Jerk:

interesting experience. I wanted dinner.

Bitch:

That's also not good to play when people are coming in on a boat. Alrighty

Jerk:

No,

Bitch:

then!

Jerk:

but but yeah, it was a really cool experience, though. I know like where we were on post or on the excuse me. They don't call it that. We were on base to watch it. Sorry, my army's showing.

Bitch:

We were talking also earlier about all the different branches

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

all the

Jerk:

a different

Bitch:

different

Jerk:

language.

Bitch:

language and everything is different on every different base.

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

This is sounds

Jerk:

so

Bitch:

just so

Jerk:

we

Bitch:

cool

Jerk:

were

Bitch:

though.

Jerk:

on the military base, but you can also watch the ships come in from civilian locations just so you can see it across the port or whatever, right? Anyways, I've always heard it's a really cool experience and I would say that I agree. It was a really cool experience. It's very overwhelming. It takes a lot longer than you think, but it was still cool. And Norfolk, Virginia is a lovely city. By the way, they have mermaids everywhere. Did you know that? They have mermaids everywhere. Like all their little sculptures around town are mermaids. I took a picture posing with one, it's terrible. Anyway, so yeah, that was my that's been my weekend and and my few days just getting caught back up and trying not to,

Bitch:

I don't

Jerk:

you know,

Bitch:

think in jet

Jerk:

get killed

Bitch:

setter,

Jerk:

by allergies.

Bitch:

it was about you basically like you bopped over to the East Coast to go see a giant ship of hello sailors come in.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

And then you

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

bop back

Jerk:

then you cried.

Bitch:

over to Texas and what and you

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

what

Jerk:

you cry

Bitch:

and you

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

cry

Jerk:

you cry.

Bitch:

and you have all the feels.

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

And that's a lot and like we also already talked about like so this may sound like I don't mean to sound like a hippie dippy or whatever I'm just I think is a science thing like that's a lot of people to be having emotions in like one

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

place I feel like happens there, right? So it'd

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

be

Jerk:

has

Bitch:

interesting

Jerk:

to.

Bitch:

to be like, like someone went out there like an EMF reader or something. It

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

was just like,

Jerk:

some kind

Bitch:

what

Jerk:

of...

Bitch:

happened after all this? Like, are there all of a sudden, like ghosts of everybody? Is there a Diana ghost out there now?

Jerk:

At least my outfit was cute, so if there's a ghost

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

day and I looked all

Bitch:

your

Jerk:

right,

Bitch:

ghost

Jerk:

it'll

Bitch:

outfit would be good. Remember

Jerk:

be

Bitch:

what

Jerk:

fine.

Bitch:

you're wearing when you die is your ghost outfit.

Jerk:

I know I've been stressing about that. I've read that again the other day and now I'm like every day when I get ready

Bitch:

I think you

Jerk:

I'm

Bitch:

know...

Jerk:

like, sometimes you're fine. I go into my office every day because I prefer to work that way most of the time. But like, now, and I dress mostly for it. Like I like to look nice-ish for work. But I'm like, goddamn. And like,

Bitch:

Yeah, but

Jerk:

what

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

if

Bitch:

have

Jerk:

you're

Bitch:

a

Jerk:

wearing

Bitch:

rock

Jerk:

a, what

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

if,

Bitch:

roll

Jerk:

you know how

Bitch:

job.

Jerk:

we have, we don't have

Bitch:

So like

Jerk:

a lot

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

of band

Bitch:

dress

Jerk:

shirts, well

Bitch:

nice

Jerk:

we have

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

a lot of band

Bitch:

but you don't

Jerk:

shirts, but like, what if you have like, you know how you have band shirts of bands that are fine, but you're like, but you just wear it because the shirt's cool or comfortable or whatever? What if you die not, you have to wear a band-aid you don't like shirt forever.

Bitch:

Then

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

sucks.

Bitch:

just pretend you love that band. You become that band's greatest fan

Jerk:

Ghost

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

groupie.

Bitch:

you fucking go with it. You're a ghost

Jerk:

Ghost

Bitch:

groupie.

Jerk:

groupie. Sorry. Yeah.

Bitch:

GG.

Jerk:

That's where I went.

Bitch:

You're a GG from now on.

Jerk:

Anyways, so yeah,

Bitch:

It'd

Jerk:

how

Bitch:

be

Jerk:

about

Bitch:

okay

Jerk:

you?

Bitch:

to be a ghost groupie. So I have spent this week acclimating my new friend Seymour, who is my new carnivorous Venus flytrap. Oddly enough, one of my friends also just got like, one of those random things where I posted a picture somewhere. Okay, I posted this video where I was egging on my Venus flytrap to eat some insects. for dinner because it feels kind of wrong. But at the same time, like, you need Seymour needs to eat, right?

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

So I posted that to a group of friends. And then they're like, Oh, yeah, I also just got a Venus flytrap. So I think you know, this is the thing, like, I got it at Trader Joe's. So it must be trending. I bought a Venus flytrap at Trader Joe's. But also there is a carnivorous

Jerk:

I mean.

Bitch:

flight like a carnivorous plant store in Austin or like part

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

of them. And have it meaned?

Jerk:

there used to be a big one in Dallas and it recently closed.

Bitch:

Oh, we have it on the plants. Oh my God, was it a warehouse

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

sale

Jerk:

don't know.

Bitch:

on coniferous plants we missed? So, we're gonna go ahead and get started. We're gonna go ahead and get started.

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

We're

Jerk:

think they're a little more specialty and I don't think they had a warehouse full to disappoint you.

Bitch:

I'd be so disappointed if I missed that sale. But yeah, so I just happened to be, I've been wanting one for a while. I just have not had the bandwidth to go to Austin, to go to that store. And I was in Trader Joe's and there was a bunch of them. So I adopted one and now I have, you know, so I gotta feed it.

Jerk:

But yeah, so I mean that you should feel bad. That'd be like courting the cat to you.

Bitch:

Yeah, I also don't encourage her to be like, eat the mouse. Like,

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

I didn't

Jerk:

that'd

Bitch:

stick

Jerk:

be like, it's

Bitch:

her

Jerk:

more like

Bitch:

on

Jerk:

feeding

Bitch:

Erlene,

Jerk:

a snake, I guess.

Bitch:

you know,

Jerk:

I don't

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

did I did not, I did not face on with Erlene, like

Jerk:

That's true. But it'd be like feeding a mouse to a snake, I guess. I don't know.

Bitch:

That is true. I mean, I did feel I did feed crickets to my lizard to the lizard

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

outside.

Jerk:

see?

Bitch:

So I don't know. So hopefully. So Seymour right now is currently in the stage where they are outside. They're in a pot. I'm going to put them into a much larger pot. I was going to put them into a, you know, one of the things like shit. What the hell is the term for the thing in Super Mario Brothers? The warped the warp pipe.

Jerk:

pipe.

Bitch:

And once again, if you watch the YouTube I am making Jack off

Jerk:

Yes you are.

Bitch:

motions with my

Jerk:

Uh

Bitch:

hand trying to

Jerk:

huh.

Bitch:

mimic

Jerk:

To

Bitch:

this

Jerk:

mimic

Bitch:

is why

Jerk:

a pipe. Shoo.

Bitch:

this

Jerk:

I'm

Bitch:

is why I could never.

Jerk:

sorry.

Bitch:

This is must be why

Jerk:

I'm sorry.

Bitch:

I hate

Jerk:

I'm sorry.

Bitch:

that show $100,000 pyramid.

Jerk:

Show that pipe Liz, show the

Bitch:

Because

Jerk:

pipe.

Bitch:

no matter what, like you can't, my hands had to be strapped down. Because it'd be like, she just keeps like,

Jerk:

I'm jacking

Bitch:

every hand

Jerk:

this off.

Bitch:

gesture is just someone jacking someone off. Anyways, so

Jerk:

Oh...

Bitch:

Seymour is going to be outside in their pot for now and they'll go into a bigger pot that is not as exciting as the warp pipe from Super Mario Brothers. I saw a lot of other people did it and like you could there is like a thing I could print it out in the 3D printer, but it was like six inches and nobody wants like small pipe.

Jerk:

Yeah?

Bitch:

Oh god, oh god, this can't know. I just have to, we have to stop talking about this right now.

Jerk:

Or are we just avoiding talking about this episode?

Bitch:

I have other things I can avoid

Jerk:

Ah.

Bitch:

talking about this episode on. All right. So we do have news in, um, we have news that is not news. And Winchester land. So still they have not said whether or not they're going to renew or cancel the Winchesters.

Jerk:

Hmm

Bitch:

So hashtag renew the Winchesters is a little campaign that's going on on social media. So if you would like the show to continue, encourage you or do what the fuck you want to do, I don't know. I'm not your boss. But like

Jerk:

But if you wanted to encourage it, that is the hashtag you

Bitch:

that

Jerk:

could

Bitch:

as a hashtag

Jerk:

use.

Bitch:

you can use. So hashtag renew the Winchesters. Also in, I think this is interesting. Television news, I guess, like whatever. So Jensen Ackles and his wife, Daniella, and

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

their production company, Chaos Machine have entered into a first look TV deal at Amazon. This is according to Variety. And so the Ackles and Chaos Machine were first previously under a first look deal at Warner Brothers Television. So like

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

a first look deal pretty much means like if I have a script or something that I'm developing, like whatever I'm doing, like you get first, like the first option to look at it.

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

So like the Winchesters, which was a Chaos Machine production. that went to Warner Brothers first. That's probably

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

why it's on CW, I guess. I don't know. I'm not in the industry, but that makes sense to me. So but now like there was Amazon, which is weird because it kind of ties into Jensen being on the boys, which I didn't know was that big of a deal, but it is. And then they both like both Amazon and Jensen like so the quote unquote, said these creepy things. So I know it's press release shit, but it just sounds creepy. So the ACL said We are thrilled to begin this journey with the incredibly smart and creative team at Amazon. We love being part of the Amazon family with the boys and look forward to our continued relationship as we develop exciting and interesting projects together. And then Amazon said, we are thrilled to extend our relationship with Jensen beyond his brilliant performance as soldier boy on the boys said Vernon Sanders had a television for Amazon. Amazon and MGM Studios. Jensen is a multi-talented performer and producer, and we can't wait to see what he, Daniil, and Chaos Machine come up with next.

Jerk:

They sound like they were written by Chappie GPT. It's

Bitch:

Exactly. AI is just doing everybody's fucking job now.

Jerk:

terrifying.

Bitch:

That is, isn't that terrifying? So, but I, I think from a production standpoint, I think that's interesting. Right. So they're shifting

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

like, and the fact that if that isn't just corporate chat, GBT AI generated nonsense, which most of it is, but that working with. a production company like the Amazon. This is huge to me. Like, you're going further and further away from what the corporate television network was to this other corporate streaming service.

Jerk:

giant scary entity.

Bitch:

Whatever the fuck you want to call Amazon.

Jerk:

the devil? I'm just kidding. Please, please keep our show on there.

Bitch:

Yeah, we play us. We like Amazon music.

Jerk:

We like Amazon. We like Amazon for a lot of things. Um,

Bitch:

We embrace

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

you our penis overlords Yeah, I just thought that was interesting. Okay, that's

Jerk:

Oh yeah.

Bitch:

that's as much as I can put this off I'm sorry I tried to like put as much shit before like we is to almost like we'll cut the some of this we're almost 12 minutes In and now we have to talk about the stupid episode

Jerk:

No, you just deal with it because nobody wants to hear about this episode either. So it's fine.

Bitch:

That's fine. All right. So unforgiven, which, you know, as some of you know, was the title of the Clint Eastwood movie. This

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

th,:

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

this type of director. Um, he most recent.

Jerk:

He's directs one episode of everything kind

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

of deal.

Bitch:

Yeah. And so, but so David M. Barrett, according to his IMDB, was a producer and director with over 200 credits and more than 40 hit television shows. He began his career as a stuntman, which I think is cool. There's like, I think a lot of these directors that come from, I love stuntmen, so that's cool. And he's still an active stuntman too. He eventually progressed to stunt coordinator and then became second unit director. And then he went on just to become one of the most prolific producer and directors in television. He's done a lot of shit. And he most recently directed episodes of The New True Lies at La Brea and FBI International, but he's still like his stunts like go back to like he did stunts on Dawn of the Dead and

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

Once Upon a Time in Mexico, which I think is awesome. And most recently, Transformers Rise of the Beast, which is like the new one that comes out there's

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

and by the way, there's a new Transformers movie that

Jerk:

noted.

Bitch:

h that. But that comes out in:

Jerk:

That's hilarious.

Bitch:

Cause I want to do what those stunts were. And then I have to watch the movie to see what stunts are on Clifford the Big Red Dog. And this was written by friends of the pod Daba and Loughlin. So, all right.

Jerk:

So we kick off

Bitch:

Are we ready?

Jerk:

in,

Bitch:

We're doing

Jerk:

yeah,

Bitch:

it.

Jerk:

we're doing it. We're in Bristol, Rhode Island. And we see, we here see gunshots and it's Sam shooting something or someone. And Samuel is there and I say Samuel weird then because I'm like, I'm trying to specify Sam versus Sam, Sam and Samuel. Sam and Samuel are there and Samuel looks distraught.

Bitch:

He's just making faces. I mean, like, I don't know if he's distraught. He just makes

Jerk:

He's

Bitch:

a lot of concerned faces.

Jerk:

concerned faces for sure. And they're in this building and they leave it. And Sam has a wound

Bitch:

How would

Jerk:

of some

Bitch:

you describe

Jerk:

kind.

Bitch:

what they're leaving? Because I put cabins, but like there was docks that were coming out of it. So it was almost like cabins that were in the trees.

Jerk:

I think it was like a dried up dock house.

Bitch:

Okay. Yeah. And so now they're showing them leaving. They have machetes.

Jerk:

Machetes. Sam's bleeding and they drive away in Samuel's van. And while they're driving, trying to get out of town, they get pulled over by the sheriff and the sheriff obviously knows who they are, but calls them agents.

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

what

Jerk:

hey, thanks

Bitch:

agents

Jerk:

there.

Bitch:

did he call them? This one's actually for you, Diana. So

Jerk:

What?

Bitch:

the agents of this were Agent Rourke and Agent Weinard. Howard Rourke is from Anne Rand's novel, The Fountainhead.

Jerk:

Okay, that'll work, obviously, yeah.

Bitch:

And so if you think about it, and this is according to supernatural wiki, you know, wiki's idea of it. This, you know, if you think about the objectivism and self interest of the fountainhead, then having Sam V. Broerich shows that he's being self-interested. I did not say that that is a supernatural wiki said you can make that face. I didn't say it anyways.

Jerk:

people who

Bitch:

Okay.

Jerk:

don't understand objectivism, but okay.

Bitch:

Uh,

Jerk:

So.

Bitch:

I didn't say it. I'm just quoted since I was putting that out there, but also Those characters are for Diana. Anyhow.

Jerk:

There we go. Yeah, so they're leaving. They're trying to leave. And the deputy's like, what happened to the sheriff? I can't get ahold of him on the phone. And why the fuck are you bleeding? Get out or I'm going to take you to jail. And Sam's like, ha ha ha. You ain't taken two federal agents to jail. So the deputy reaches for his belt to arrest them. So Sam beats the fuck out of this deputy.

Bitch:

He does. And this is my notes on it.

Jerk:

He's smiling

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

the whole time. It's very dark.

Bitch:

it's very dark. And so mine says the deputy said he can't get jobs on the phone. They said they called him but couldn't find him and then dick measuring contest, fist, blah, blah. The camera is stupid, shaky while Sam beats the deputy unconscious. And I really honestly just hated the the super shaky camera which I was guessing was supposed to be a body cam on the

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

sheriff.

Jerk:

get it. Oh no, it was just really weird shot.

Bitch:

I don't know,

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

but

Jerk:

was

Bitch:

it

Jerk:

weirdly

Bitch:

just made

Jerk:

shot.

Bitch:

me want to vomit because that's what shaky cams do to me. Now I just want to

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

throw up cause I get nauseous

Jerk:

Fun.

Bitch:

and motion sick.

Jerk:

So the deputy's unconscious. Samuel asks Sam, who basically says, I think there's calmer ways we could have handled this. And Sam's like, do we care? And they get in the van and drive away, leaving

Bitch:

Is he

Jerk:

this

Bitch:

wrong?

Jerk:

guy unconscious in the street.

Bitch:

ce I kind of look at this one:

Jerk:

It's just not a very nice thing to do to anybody.

Bitch:

It's not a nice thing to do but also like that I don't think that would just go by.

Jerk:

No, it wouldn't just go away. There'd be like news and search and things. Because even if you didn't have a body cam or whatever on, they usually had dash cams because cops was on.

Bitch:

Well, cops was on, like the shaky camera was something, right? That was something

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

thought it was I thought it was just a choice in how they shot it. I didn't think

Bitch:

Oh,

Jerk:

it was a body

Bitch:

okay.

Jerk:

cam, but.

Bitch:

I thought it was the sheriff, but, but either way, like you can't be, I don't know, it seems like a bad choice anyway. So hunters drifter, hunters drift and they drift

Jerk:

So then we popped

Bitch:

off.

Jerk:

to and then now we pop to present day. And we've got Dean and Sam in a motel. Sam's trying to watching TV, trying to catch up. And we get a really we do get a really funny line about Mel Gibson really took a turn this year.

Bitch:

So again, this was:

Jerk:

Which-

Bitch:

he's just started turning and. And also, yeah, if you think about it.

Jerk:

So, well, indeed, but Dean's Dean's pitch is I was like, oh, he's possessed. OK, maybe so. But Dean has returned, though, to the hotel room with food and Intel from Bobby and the Intel.

Bitch:

What do you think the food is?

Jerk:

It's like little wrapped things, I don't know.

Bitch:

They look like really flat breakfast burritos, I think.

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

I kept trying to figure

Jerk:

they could

Bitch:

out

Jerk:

be

Bitch:

what

Jerk:

really

Bitch:

it was.

Jerk:

sad bean burritos.

Bitch:

I hope they're, I don't know. I was, those made me sad, but

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

so.

Jerk:

But all Bobby's got to share is that things are quiet. And they know that that's not usually good. And then Sam gets a text

Bitch:

on his Blackberry.

Jerk:

and it's a number he doesn't know.

Bitch:

All right.

Jerk:

Yes, it is on his Blackberry. I remember my Blackberry and their coordinates, and he doesn't know who it's from. So they look up where the coordinates are, and it's Bristol, Rhode Island. Oh, OK. And three women have disappeared in the last week, vanishing into thin air. So he tries to call the number this is from. And of course they don't answer. So he's

Bitch:

Therefore,

Jerk:

got these.

Bitch:

who does?

Jerk:

Yeah. He's got this, this number doesn't know who it is. So Sam's like, well, obviously we've got to go check this out. It's a case. There's people missing. I got this mysterious text. We got to go. And Dean's like, this is a terrible idea.

Bitch:

This is us. This is us. I have,

Jerk:

supersus.

Bitch:

don't you want it with the fuck do you think is happening? I don't know. And, but Sam also points out that you can't just ignore a punch of missing girls. And I would say, it's true. I'm proving wrong on that one, Sam. Oh,

Jerk:

Ooh,

Bitch:

boom, boom, boom.

Jerk:

zing.

Bitch:

Sad.

Jerk:

But, so Sam convinces Dean and they go. And as they're driving into town, Sam starts having flashbacks of driving into town with Samuel because they see signs like the really colorful, cartoony, weird welcome sign to Bristol.

Bitch:

So the cartoony weird, I love the octopus on this. I

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

do have to say that, but this is my note on this. Then we start with the stupid black and white flashbacks, quote unquote, in living color hated it. So that was my, what I wanted to be popping up here. So if Dave could just put in an audio thing of hated it, like right here, I would be very happy.

Jerk:

Noted. And so, but he's not telling Dean that he's having these flashback thingies. So they go to,

Bitch:

So they lie. So,

Jerk:

yeah, well, we're they're not being honest with each other. So shocking.

Bitch:

all right. So

Jerk:

Oh my

Bitch:

Sam's

Jerk:

gosh.

Bitch:

lying to Dean again.

Jerk:

Yeah. And so they go to a restaurant. It's what is it? Sea Captains?

Bitch:

It is Captain Bob's. And the reason I know is Captain Bob's because when they go into this scene, they do this pan in like there's like so this director who is his only time directing this and good on you for doing this shot. So it goes like there is a waitress and it goes to this female pirate holding up a sign for Captain Bob's buccaneer thing. Let's get the menu, whatever. And she has the most this female pirate statue has the most resting bitch face I have ever seen this resting pirate face. And did I if you work at my job cut this part out you don't hear this. Did I spend a time today like like maybe like capturing this image and honing in and like putting it through a different processing thing so we got the the both like the best image of rusting pirate face. I did

Jerk:

Maybe.

Bitch:

because it was that funny. Also life is terrible and rusting pirate face made me happy. So

Jerk:

Damn.

Bitch:

I feel like rusting pirate face happened because she was listening to whatever the shit that was spewing out of Dean Winchester's mouth was.

Jerk:

Oh God. So he's talking about the, he's got the miss, the missing person's sheet, like flyers for each of the three girls that have gone missing and try, they're trying to figure out a connection between them. And Dean is sharing his totally subjective, made up bullshit sexist analysis based

Bitch:

He's being

Jerk:

on their appearances.

Bitch:

disgusting really

Jerk:

He's been

Bitch:

is what

Jerk:

real gross.

Bitch:

he's he is basically like being like, Oh, this chick she's got crazy. She's got crazy eyes like we know that's hot and whatever it like it's just gross is fucking gross Dean and I don't like how gross

Jerk:

These bitches are miss. It's also so

Bitch:

they're

Jerk:

here's the

Bitch:

missing.

Jerk:

even grosser side. These are missing

Bitch:

They're

Jerk:

girls like

Bitch:

missing

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

women

Jerk:

not just

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

these

Jerk:

not

Bitch:

are

Jerk:

even like just like, oh, so my hell, look at that bitch at the bar. This is like this is a missing person that you're supposed to be there to help. Motherfucker. Her family

Bitch:

also,

Jerk:

is crying right now.

Bitch:

her family is crying and you're a fucking idiot because clearly all these women look alike.

Jerk:

Well that too, they all look the same.

Bitch:

They are all the same age, the same hair color, the same build height and we're like, there is an MO. You've

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

we were a tear.

Jerk:

So.

Bitch:

This is why Sam is a detective and you're not anyways, but at least like, okay, so we know Sam has a soul again, and he is kind of grossed out by what Dean is doing.

Jerk:

He is. So Dean leaves and goes to the poop deck.

Bitch:

Also gross. Also

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

gross.

Jerk:

OK, the bathroom and Sam said they're by himself and this woman and her husband approach and.

Bitch:

Hahaha

Jerk:

Husband does not look stoked and they

Bitch:

This has

Jerk:

wife

Bitch:

been...

Jerk:

is like, he is so pissed. Man. And she remembers

Bitch:

I love

Jerk:

him

Bitch:

you!

Jerk:

as Agent Roark and asks about if he's there for the disappearances.

Bitch:

Well, and suddenly and she like clearly knows what's going on but also so does Don Don knows

Jerk:

Time knows something's up.

Bitch:

Don knows

Jerk:

Ah.

Bitch:

his wife did something with with with sam he knows

Jerk:

Yeah, so Dean comes out of the bathroom and sees the sea captain's challenge on the wall

Bitch:

he

Jerk:

where

Bitch:

also

Jerk:

if you. Well, I, yeah,

Bitch:

I fucks this waitress as he comes out like I don't know why like they're just making

Jerk:

I just

Bitch:

him

Jerk:

had

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

to skip over it because I was just like.

Bitch:

no but they're just like why are they making they're like really emphasizing how gross like they're making Dean extra gross in this episode and I don't understand

Jerk:

Maybe they're trying

Bitch:

why

Jerk:

to balance it out because what we find out in a minute.

Bitch:

I guess okay

Jerk:

I don't know. But the sea captain's challenge, you eat a whole 72 ounce surf and turf, you get it free. My question to you is, it's 72 ounces of surf and turf. How much of it is surf and how much of it is turf? Because surf is a lot lighter, but it's also usually got a lot of butter. So I mean, like there's a real conversation to be had about this challenge. I'm just saying.

Bitch:

whether or not that you can complete it like yeah

Jerk:

Well,

Bitch:

because

Jerk:

yeah, I don't

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

know

Bitch:

it

Jerk:

if I

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

could

Bitch:

if

Jerk:

still.

Bitch:

it's probably like I would say like a 48 ounce ribeye and then probably two lobster tails that is probably like 72 ounces right because I need the 212 that is where

Jerk:

I guess

Bitch:

my thought my gut goes

Jerk:

because of its shellfish, a lot of the weight goes in

Bitch:

don't

Jerk:

the shell

Bitch:

be shellfish

Jerk:

too. So that's

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

yeah. Anyways, yeah. So but he's looking at all these photos of Polaroids of people who've completed this challenges and he stops on one. So hones in on it.

Bitch:

No way!

Jerk:

Oh, but back out in the main room, we've got this woman still talking to Sam and asking where his the bald guy, his partner is.

Bitch:

a big ball partner or but

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

and I will say though I think Sam does and they have done work like in other episodes I feel like they finally learned like of how to play off shit that happens when you have fake identities because he's just like oh and then Dean just comes up he's like now he's in sex rehab

Jerk:

Yeah, yeah.

Bitch:

because

Jerk:

So and

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

Sam.

Bitch:

plushies which I think is like supposed to be flurry uh furries

Jerk:

Flurries? I don't know what, yeah, I don't know about plushies. That was a new one. So Sam introduces Dean as his new partner, and she gently touches Sam's shoulder as she's walking away. And he has another flashback to banging her in a bathroom.

Bitch:

ike like five years, probably:

Jerk:

filter.

Bitch:

filter. Yeah, the same filter.

Jerk:

Fun.

Bitch:

And it's such a thing though, that

Jerk:

Was this around the year that like 50 shades of gray or whatever came out?

Bitch:

I think I don't know we would have to I think we need to verify is probably like this is after Twilight came out

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

so probably right about then because 50 Shades of Grey as we all know is a follow up to Twilight for some reason I don't understand I've never understood that thread I

Jerk:

What?

Bitch:

need to it has to do something I don't know there's a weird. Okay,

Jerk:

Shades wasn't until:

Bitch:

but anyways.

Jerk:

Well, the books would have been out, but

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

not the...

Bitch:

it was very much a Tumblr. It's a very much a Tumblr filter.

Jerk:

Look,

Bitch:

You just

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

see it in it. Then. Then I get real mad. I was also in a mood when I watched this. So I'm going to say

Jerk:

Mm.

Bitch:

it, but Dean calls her and basically says that she has Cougar eyes on this, right? She's like,

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

, but the actress was born in:

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

1982. He's older than she fucking was. She was 26 and this was filmed. Fuck you, Dean. Fuck you, Hollywood. She's not a goddamn cougar. She is younger. Younger than him.

Jerk:

That's ridiculous.

Bitch:

Yeah, I got mad.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Okay. Moving on.

Jerk:

Well, Sam's pretty upset by this whole thing. And you can tell that her husband is not thrilled either by it all.

Bitch:

Ehh

Jerk:

But Dean has a Polaroid. Dean has a Polaroid from the wall that he jacked. Now, no, did Sam and Samuel conquer the 72 ounces of surf and turf? No, they did not. But they were in the background when someone else did. And he's in the photo. So now they know that they worked a case in that town.

Bitch:

Is that what you thought was gonna happen? That it was you and Sam in like a pirate's hat with

Jerk:

I'm

Bitch:

like...

Jerk:

really, really,

Bitch:

No,

Jerk:

I really hoped so. I

Bitch:

sadly

Jerk:

hoped so

Bitch:

no.

Jerk:

hard

Bitch:

No.

Jerk:

for that. So all right. So now they're saying it like some flop house in Bristol, I

Bitch:

They're

Jerk:

guess.

Bitch:

a squat. Yeah. They're in a fucking squat. That's

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

a

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

southern,

Jerk:

don't like it.

Bitch:

but

Jerk:

Anyways.

Bitch:

Sam's got his MIFI going because I'm not sure how else he's getting a signal in, in the squat or he's got a hell of a hot spot on his like T-Mobile or whatever he's using at the time and he hates T-Mobile sponsors. And he has determined that the last time five guys went missing.

Jerk:

Ha ha. Are we killing a burger?

Bitch:

I do, I do.

Jerk:

The fries are really good too. I

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

haven't

Bitch:

don't have a five guys here,

Jerk:

had one in a while. I don't have one by me either.

Bitch:

so.

Jerk:

Anyways.

Bitch:

They still exist, right? Those haven't closed?

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Okay.

Jerk:

There's one not terribly far from me honestly. I just thought about that. Oh no there is one. Oh my gosh. So Sam just wants to know what's going on. Like why are there people going missing again? Did they not solve the case or what? But Dean's like fuck this. We are not the only hunters in the world. that hunters don't return to the town they've been to before because they leave messes behind and you cannot just come back. It's really fucked up. We should hand this off to Bobby. Bobby can assign this to another hunter. It'll be fine.

Bitch:

Yep. And then he uses the metaphor that you don't use the same crap or twice. And then Sam

Jerk:

I was like,

Bitch:

rightfully

Jerk:

yes you do.

Bitch:

points out that.

Jerk:

Yes you do. You

Bitch:

Everybody

Jerk:

definitely do.

Bitch:

uses the same crapper twice because you know, it should be you don't shit. It was you don't shit where you eat is really what he was trying to say. But it was just so gross. It's all gross. It's just like it's gross boy poop things. Like honestly, like women, you know, women didn't write this in the script. We would not be talking about shit this much. But

Jerk:

Correct.

Bitch:

anyways, it's also not true. Like, I don't feel like it's true. Like when Sam says like, we do, and like, I know he meant like you poop on the same toilet, but I feel like Sam and Dean have visited towns that they have visited

Jerk:

I feel like

Bitch:

before.

Jerk:

they've gone back. Yeah, they don't follow this mantra very well.

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

This is not, this

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

is not

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

don't

Jerk:

a

Bitch:

think

Jerk:

hard

Bitch:

John

Jerk:

and fast

Bitch:

did

Jerk:

rule.

Bitch:

either. Like, Adam, hello? Like...

Jerk:

Right? I don't know. But.

Bitch:

I hate this episode, all right.

Jerk:

So, but Sam's like, look, whatever it is, I need to finish what I started here. And I, you know, he gets that Dean's super worried about him, you know, ending up a drooling mess because he knocks down the wall in his head. But, um, what's happening here is that Sam messed up at some point. So Sam has to fix it

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

and Dean

Bitch:

let

Jerk:

will want

Bitch:

me

Jerk:

to do the

Bitch:

guilt

Jerk:

same.

Bitch:

trip, guilt trip, blah, blah, blah.

Jerk:

So they, so Dean gives in, we'll stick around and he's going to go follow up with the brunettes. that are missing.

Bitch:

That's

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

a heavy sigh. That's an intentional heavy sigh.

Jerk:

I know. So, Dean is

Bitch:

Because

Jerk:

with...

Bitch:

even if they're going on with this, this is a stupid plan. Why is he like, cause Dean doesn't agree with this plan. So why isn't Sam going to talk to the women and Dean going to talk to the authorities? All right, it's dumb. It's dumb.

Jerk:

Well, Dean's going to go talk to Danielle's roommate. She has no new clues to share. Nothing of

Bitch:

Nicole.

Jerk:

note. Nicole. Nicole's. I think Daniel. Nicole's roommate. Jesus. That's weird. Anyways, Agent Rourke has a business, left a business card there. Oh, so somehow Sam has interacted with Nicole at some point in time. I got two different things written. That's so weird. Anyways,

Bitch:

J-

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

J-

Jerk:

she says, yeah, Nicole got this from the agent because one of the guys that lived in our apartment building was one of the people that disappeared last time. So yeah, he came by to question us and then he would come by and visit more again and again. And Dean asked her to describe their relationship. Yeah, and

Bitch:

their relationships tone.

Jerk:

she paused and said, loud and athletic.

Bitch:

Which you know what, like okay, and I keep talking about like, like we obviously, Solos Sam has problems, but clearly Solos Sam can fuck, which is just, we have clearly learned now from CoughMe

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

and now we have Loud and Athletic, this guy fucks.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

All right. So, but now we cut to, uh, Sam in his agent suit, walking

Jerk:

trying

Bitch:

up to

Jerk:

to

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

go

Bitch:

police

Jerk:

visit

Bitch:

station.

Jerk:

the authorities. Well, he doesn't even make it to the door because the deputy that he left unconscious in the street sees him and nabs him immediately.

Bitch:

And when he leaves like, Oh, cuff me. So Sam is the one who is cuffed now. The deputy

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

calls him dumber than a sack of hair and that grosses me out for some reason.

Jerk:

That is cr-

Bitch:

Why is that so gross?

Jerk:

it because you have a sack of hair.

Bitch:

The Succifer is so gross.

Jerk:

It's very

Bitch:

But I

Jerk:

upsetting.

Bitch:

don't know why, it just is. It's just gross.

Jerk:

But Sam's just trying to insist this is a misunderstanding. He's like, uh, no, where are the bodies? You, all these people disappeared, the sheriff disappeared, and then you leave. And then we have more people disappear. And then all of a sudden you're back. Like, what the fuck? You think I'm dumb? Like the sheriff has, the deputy has a point. This does not look good for Sam at all. But later that night in his cell. A woman visits Sam and she wants to know where her husband is. What? She knows who Sam is and what he does. And then he has a flashback to him and Samuel talking to her and the sheriff and she is the sheriff's wife about how they're hunters.

Bitch:

Uh, uh, uh, okay, fine.

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

And so he's vanished and her husband's vanished and now she thinks Sam killed him.

Jerk:

Right. Or that thing did whatever that thing is. And Sam tries to convince her that he has no memory, and she makes a really funny days of our lives joke.

Bitch:

And she's like, What is this days are lies? Which would have been funnier. She said it was this all my children. But because that would have been a more poignant Jensen Axles, or Axles, just an actual reference. But then Sam just starts puppy dogging, like puppy dog, puppy dog eyeing her.

Jerk:

He does. And he says he can find out what happened to her husband. And she introduced herself as Brenna Dobbs until. And then he pushes further until she decides to unlock the cell and tells him to find some rope and tie her up to make it look like a breakout, which still doesn't make sense,

Bitch:

The

Jerk:

but OK.

Bitch:

fuck is wrong with you, Brenna? The fuck? All right, you think this guy killed your husband and you think he's a serial killer and then all of a sudden he's just like, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't like it. And she's like, I'm just going to let you out of prison. No, Brenna,

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

you.

Jerk:

tie and let and tie me up.

Bitch:

And time me up. No, you you let him leave. He's gonna you just gave him the literally to kill you with the fuck Brenna. Okay. Alright, so we're gonna cut to Debbie and Debbie is doing the only thing that is smart to do.

Jerk:

Drink box wine

Bitch:

Damn right.

Jerk:

because

Bitch:

She's drinking

Jerk:

it

Bitch:

box

Jerk:

doesn't,

Bitch:

wine.

Jerk:

because it doesn't go bad

Bitch:

Yeah, and her

Jerk:

or

Bitch:

cuz

Jerk:

doesn't

Bitch:

her

Jerk:

need

Bitch:

husband

Jerk:

to be aged.

Bitch:

cuz

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

dawn.

Jerk:

what she said.

Bitch:

Yeah, dawn is like giving her judgment

Jerk:

Judging,

Bitch:

phase

Jerk:

judging. He is not happy, but she don't care.

Bitch:

She don't care. Debbie

Jerk:

She pours

Bitch:

doing

Jerk:

her wine.

Bitch:

what she

Jerk:

She

Bitch:

was

Jerk:

tops

Bitch:

going

Jerk:

her

Bitch:

to

Jerk:

wine

Bitch:

do.

Jerk:

off after he looks at her. He gives her that look and she goes back to the fridge and tops that bitch off like you do.

Bitch:

What? What? The box stuff doesn't get better with age, John!

Jerk:

And then she decides to go to the basement, which seems like a weird turn here.

Bitch:

What? Yeah, she does. And then when the light doesn't work, what she do?

Jerk:

falls down the stairs.

Bitch:

She just keeps going. Like if you're going like even basement with stairs, and you on the light don't work, like you get a flashlight, you just not walk out that hand that grabs you as you go down your dark basement stairs.

Jerk:

Mm-mm. It can't do it if you have a light in your hand.

Bitch:

Yeah, you have this coming Debbie.

Jerk:

And then some things like standing over her, there's a chittering noise, a shadow, and she screams.

Bitch:

Yeah, also like, like, like something reaching out behind basement stairs grabbing leg like that's prime prime fear factor for me. So

Jerk:

So we've got Sam doing some intense researching at their

Bitch:

at the squat, they're at the squat,

Jerk:

house.

Bitch:

don't call it a house, it's squat. And he hears someone.

Jerk:

Yeah. And it's Dean, he enters and he's mad that because now Sam's a fugitive and he told him so.

Bitch:

I don't think he's mad. I think he thinks it's funny because I was just like, so how does it feel to be a fugitive again? Just like oh like you think about it. How long has it been? I'm like so we're

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

on

Jerk:

been

Bitch:

season

Jerk:

a minute, I guess.

Bitch:

six It has been a minute since you've been a fugitive

Jerk:

That's true. So Dean's explains that Sam also knew Nicole, AKA what he called refers to as crazy eyes biblically.

Bitch:

Yet my

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

note

Jerk:

Dean is.

Bitch:

says, I told you so crazy eyes McGee and Sam boned. I think that explains that more concisely.

Jerk:

That was better. But Dean's kind of impressed about Sola Sam getting around.

Bitch:

Yeah, like he's

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

kind

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

of gross.

Bitch:

it was like, oh, it's so cool how much you got your dick away. Like, oh, you got syphilis. Like, you know, like it's not cool. He fucked like a lot of women in this town in a short period of time. Not

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

cool.

Jerk:

weird.

Bitch:

Honestly, I don't care. Like from a moral standpoint, but it's just gross, man.

Jerk:

Yeah. Oh, and then, I don't know, and I don't know, there's other ramifications at play here. Man.

Bitch:

Yeah, it's just this whole situation is not good. And so Dean tells Sam to stay put and Sam just

Jerk:

because

Bitch:

has.

Jerk:

the radio goes off and someone else is missing.

Bitch:

Yeah, and Sam has the best like fine. Just like he's a

Jerk:

God.

Bitch:

15 year old child.

Jerk:

Right, but we also know he's not going to.

Bitch:

Yeah, he's not. He's not. So not listening.

Jerk:

So we cut to Dean leaving Debbie and Dawn's house. He tries to call Sam, but

Bitch:

Oh,

Jerk:

gets

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

no

Bitch:

telling

Jerk:

answer.

Bitch:

Don he's on it. He's not just leaving Debbie and Don's house. Like now he's like, hey, Don, I'm on this shit. Sorry, it looks like my partner fucked your wife and now she's dead. Oops. Awkward.

Jerk:

But Dean has pieced together that this is all a trap for Sam and all of the missing women banged Sam.

Bitch:

They did. They did.

Jerk:

So how did he figure out for sure that Debbie banged Sam is the question during this part? Did Dawn know and tell him?

Bitch:

I think maybe Sam told him, like Sam could have told him after they left the restaurant because Sam's

Jerk:

I don't think

Bitch:

pretty

Jerk:

Sam

Bitch:

much

Jerk:

remember,

Bitch:

seems like

Jerk:

well,

Bitch:

pretty

Jerk:

that's true,

Bitch:

honest

Jerk:

he did remember.

Bitch:

like right now.

Jerk:

But he hasn't shared any of the flashbacks yet.

Bitch:

But I can stream you like man like That woman has

Jerk:

I don't

Bitch:

a

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

birthmark like underneath her fourth nipple or something like that, I don't know so Anyway,

Jerk:

Well.

Bitch:

so it's all a try for Sam Then Do we cut to Sam, right?

Jerk:

at yeah

Bitch:

Yeah

Jerk:

and he's at Brenna Dobbs house scaring the crap out of her as she walks home or walks into her home and he's there waiting for her which is terrifying.

Bitch:

Which is right because she's like what happened to Debbie like I let you out and she's gone. See you magic

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

also You're dumb bitch. Like i'm sorry like why did you let this man tie you up and now he's in your house Like of course, you should be scared

Jerk:

Yeah, and and all he and he wants, but he wants the case files. Well, he says he tried to get him himself, but they're missing. And he convinces her they've got the same goals. And of course, she reveals that she has the files.

Bitch:

Yeah, and then they cut to that leg. So they go from so she's got the files. So I kind of like her for having the files, right? Like, I don't understand what she does with the sheriffs, right? We kind of get into this in this next part, where so he has these flashbacks. And they're all just pounding beers together.

Jerk:

It's the sheriff, it's Brenna, it's Samuel and Sam.

Bitch:

Yeah. And they're just drinking

Jerk:

They're

Bitch:

beers.

Jerk:

buddies.

Bitch:

Yep. And they're talking about hunting and being drifters and

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

it's just weird. And then she's like, family slows. He's just like, family slows you down. And I don't like any of this. I just

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

hate

Jerk:

really

Bitch:

it

Jerk:

weird.

Bitch:

all.

Jerk:

It's a really weird one. Life on Hunter life. And you can tell. And Samuel kind of gets really sentimental about Mary. And then when he steps out is when Sam's like, our relationship is more of a professional. We're a business relationship. Family just slows you down.

Bitch:

Yeah, so it's just, I don't know, like, it's just all this bizarre flashback where they're drinking too much with the town sheriff and his wife who he says

Jerk:

who works

Bitch:

is okay,

Jerk:

at the Sheriff's Department.

Bitch:

who works at the sheriff's, he doesn't say what she does.

Jerk:

but

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

she has a key to the jail and all the files.

Bitch:

Yeah, so you can just like, what the fuck is happening in this town? Like, this seems like some poorly managed law enforcement. I don't understand here. Like, this all seems fucking sus and I haven't... This all is bad. So then, like, Sam just starts remembering more.

Jerk:

Yeah, he's got he's seeing more flashbacks from this previous case. And they he's Samuel he sees one of the corpses of one of the men that was missing. And he remembers them deciding it was an arachnid.

Bitch:

you haven't seen Arachnids in:

Jerk:

And there's no Intel on them then.

Bitch:

Yeah. And that's from Crete. So this kind of like ties back into things that have been hinted at along the season of things from the, nobody's seen for a very long time. Right.

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

So, and then you also see the guy who was not a pussy and finished the captain's challenge.

Jerk:

You do. You do see that scene. So, but we've got Sam figured, realizes that he figured out how to find it, or at least how to draw it out. That's where you get to.

Bitch:

Yeah, and he also figured out that all the Vicks were guys in their 30s. So now

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

he like this flashback. Sam has figured out the M.O. of Flashback Monster.

Jerk:

Yes. And Brenna, when he comes back around a real world, Brenna realizes that he really doesn't remember the past. And she shares that, you know, she had made peace with her husband's death, but she just really wants to know what happened to him. So Sam goes to leave. And now there's weird webby shit all over her patio.

Bitch:

Before he leaves he says to her that I am sure he died a hero And that seems like a very dumb promise to make to anybody at any point in time Never ever fucking say that what the hell is wrong with you? All right, so he sees he sees a weird webby stuff

Jerk:

I don't like it.

Bitch:

No, no, we all hate this episode we're getting through it. All right

Jerk:

And he's listening to this voicemail from Dean, establishing the connections between all the things.

Bitch:

Yep, he's making the connections.

Jerk:

But does he call Dean to check on, you know, to return his call and point out that he thinks he knows what the monster is and that it's probably at Brenna's? No, no, he does not. No.

Bitch:

You just go poke the web.

Jerk:

touches the web and we see a viewpoint from a very faceted eyeball watching him. Then Dean touches his shoulder and almost gets shot.

Bitch:

Yeah, and there's just a lot happening here, right? And also, if you don't know what this web, I guess also I would touch it. I would say, why are

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

touching

Jerk:

blowing in

Bitch:

this

Jerk:

the wind,

Bitch:

web?

Jerk:

it's fine.

Bitch:

But I would touch it. I know I would. And

Jerk:

Thanks

Bitch:

so,

Jerk:

for watching. Bye.

Bitch:

OK, so Dean's Charles Sam and he pulls a gun. And there's something watching. But I want to get to this point where I like Dean's version of this monster, where he says, it's a monster with opposable thumbs and unlimited text messaging. And we know that it wants to kill you. But I also just this is a good plan. The monster has a good fun plan.

Jerk:

Yeah. And at their status squad house talking about it, Dean's like, look, we've got very limited clues, but Sam's like, no, I know what it is. It's fine. I remembered. And, um, I don't remember hell so don't panic about that. But I do remember this. Dean's like, well, we're out. Done. We'll

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

send

Bitch:

go!

Jerk:

Bobby and Rufus. It's cool. But Sam's like, I know who, I know what it is, I just, I don't know how to find it, but I just can't remember. And Dean's like, no, every time you remember something, it's just like Russian roulette, so we need to fucking bail. sam disagrees blah blah blah

Bitch:

I have

Jerk:

blah

Bitch:

a soul I can't

Jerk:

blah

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

blah

Bitch:

walk

Jerk:

blah

Bitch:

away which doesn't

Jerk:

I can't

Bitch:

make

Jerk:

walk

Bitch:

sense

Jerk:

away

Bitch:

right so deem just finally is like whatever he gets bullied into and he is like I will memento the thing with you have

Jerk:

and they

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

build

Bitch:

ever

Jerk:

a murder

Bitch:

gone

Jerk:

ball.

Bitch:

back and watched like ideally is anyone ever gonna watch memento again

Jerk:

Have I ever seen Memento?

Bitch:

Oh,

Jerk:

Is the

Bitch:

you've

Jerk:

bigger question.

Bitch:

of course you haven't seen me mental. God damn it. All right. All right. So moving on. So they

Jerk:

I mean, I know of it. I'm not like oblivious to cultural references to it.

Bitch:

Okay, I will say as a movie once you've seen it, you don't even see it twice. All right,

Jerk:

noted

Bitch:

so it was a good movie, but don't need to see it twice. All right, so after Dean agrees to that, the next logical step is you just set up a murder board.

Jerk:

It's a really good mortarboard.

Bitch:

It's extensive, but this time

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

they

Jerk:

is.

Bitch:

switched from red string to brown string. So

Jerk:

Uh...

Bitch:

maybe

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

like their art store was out of the red string

Jerk:

Out of bed.

Bitch:

this time, they had to go with like the burlap.

Jerk:

Maybe they only buy what's on clearance.

Bitch:

fair. I mean, they are they on a budget?

Jerk:

I mean,

Bitch:

Did they

Jerk:

I don't

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

got

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

a

Jerk:

just

Bitch:

whole

Jerk:

seems

Bitch:

bunch of

Jerk:

practical.

Bitch:

dragon gold? Like, shouldn't they have splurge?

Jerk:

That's true.

Bitch:

Like, they're not

Jerk:

That

Bitch:

splurging

Jerk:

they

Bitch:

on

Jerk:

could have

Bitch:

anything.

Jerk:

really

Bitch:

They

Jerk:

gotten

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

some

Bitch:

got

Jerk:

string

Bitch:

dragon

Jerk:

at Hobby

Bitch:

gold.

Jerk:

Lobby.

Bitch:

What the fuck is like, why are you in a squat? You got dragon gold motherfucker. All right, so

Jerk:

Except that now Sam starts having flashbacks again.

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

And he remembers that he convinced Samuel that they should use Sheriff Roy as bait to because he fit the MO of the arachne. But they didn't tell the sheriff they were using him as bait. They just set him up. Samuel was not into it. So this isn't how I'm, you know, used to doing things. But Sam's like, hmm, it's the future. Sorry, this is what we're doing now.

Bitch:

Okay,

Jerk:

Because he was

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

rude.

Bitch:

I feel like Samuel has done shit like this all the time. I feel like that's a lie because I don't fucking trust Samuel. And I also think that when Sam says we're gonna we have to use Roy as bait because I'm too young is bullshit. Because as I pointed out earlier, Jared, like he was almost 30, who is like 29 when this episode was so like, clearly like he could have been his 30s. Like what the fuck?

Jerk:

Well, I don't know. Either way, Sam and Samuel. Convince you know they leave Roy they stake out watching Roy as their bait he gets attacked But it hit the attack is so fast that Roy gets taken and he's gone and Samuel wants to go after him But Sam's like no, that's cool. We're too late. It's fine But guess the good news is we got GPS on phones will find is it will find where the where the monsters at? But they he's definitely not worried about trying to save Roy. He's only worried about tracking the monster

Bitch:

And Samuel has at least enough pop cultural references to know red shirt. So

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

he was just like what he's just like a red shirt and like spider bait. But okay, so that happened. So let me pull back up to whatever these cabins are.

Jerk:

Mm hmm. Yeah. And Sam and Samuel are rolling in, rolling in hot. They got their pistols going and they're ready. And this place is full of webs. Oh.

Bitch:

But they roll out this, they get out of their vans and they're walking with guns and then they switch to machetes like

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

they walk like 10 steps and they're like gun away now machete like what what the fuck I don't understand the point

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

of this.

Jerk:

very impractical, all of it. And then, but there's webs everywhere in this

Bitch:

cocoon

Jerk:

place. And it

Bitch:

dudes,

Jerk:

just gives me the heebie

Bitch:

just so

Jerk:

jeebies.

Bitch:

many cocooned

Jerk:

It's gross

Bitch:

people.

Jerk:

and sticky and it's upsetting. And then there's then they realize there's bodies inside these webs of all of the people that have been taken, including the missing men, but they're not dead. They're like they're

Bitch:

They're alive!

Jerk:

like whisper talking. They're like we were paralyzed, but not dead.

Bitch:

Okay.

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

Didn't they fight

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

the spider lady?

Jerk:

And they fight the spider lady. She throws Sam and Samuel around a bunch, and then Sam decapitates her. Ta-da.

Bitch:

Yeah, because bullets don't work. Then

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Samuel wants to take Roy to the hospital.

Jerk:

Right. Which seems reasonable because Roy's alive

Bitch:

Right?

Jerk:

and talking to them.

Bitch:

Because he's alive.

Jerk:

He's talking to them, would like to be saved. But Sam's like, no, it's too late. The poison's eating them from the inside already. So we just put them out of their misery. The fuck?

Bitch:

That's not a Solvus thing. That's just bad logic. Like, cause they're a spider pipe, but they have a bunch of venom in them. And like, so I know what... What? Okay. All right. So we're not going to... Then Sam tells Roy that he's a hero and he shoots him in the head.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

What?

Jerk:

And then he,

Bitch:

What?

Jerk:

and then he goes and shoots the others.

Bitch:

Right?

Jerk:

And then says, they can't tell Samuel, they can't leave the bodies. So better get some gasoline. So he just shot all these fools. He shot these five guys and then burned their bodies. Five innocent people

Bitch:

Uh,

Jerk:

that just happened to be missing.

Bitch:

but okay.

Jerk:

This doesn't even make sense.

Bitch:

No, no, it doesn't. But in the colored color world that is not black, whatever this horrible trope is, uh, Sam knows what happened.

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

But now we're going to cut to Brenna.

Jerk:

Yeah, because she wakes up on she's sleeping on the sofa, wakes up to a noise and oh fuck Roy is there. But Roy doesn't look too hot.

Bitch:

He's all spidered out.

Jerk:

His skin is all crazy, goofy, like not goofy, that's not the right word, crazy, like scarred.

Bitch:

spidery

Jerk:

And then I don't

Bitch:

I don't know like

Jerk:

know if it's spidery,

Bitch:

it's exoskeleton

Jerk:

it's just real scarry. That's

Bitch:

a little

Jerk:

real weird.

Bitch:

bit like there's some scary stuff I don't know he's sort of like a spider but he's not

Jerk:

And his eyes are super light, like super light

Bitch:

I like

Jerk:

blue,

Bitch:

his eyes and they're amazing

Jerk:

and he has double pupil and irises

Bitch:

oh

Jerk:

in each

Bitch:

so good

Jerk:

eye.

Bitch:

it's so cool I wish I had this um but he's okay so this is this is also I get very confused because he doesn't seem bad he just tells Brenna that he loves her

Jerk:

of it but he looks not real good.

Bitch:

He doesn't look good, but he's not doing anything. He's just like, I love

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

you. And then

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Sam, then like we cut to Sam calling Britta.

Jerk:

and she asks him to swing by, but acting like it's no big deal. So

Bitch:

Swing

Jerk:

Sam

Bitch:

by.

Jerk:

thinks that she's in trouble.

Bitch:

It's better. Ever.

Jerk:

Oh, I don't think I meant that kind of swing. So at the Dobbs house, the brothers are approaching, but Dean notices a light on in the shed, so they go directly out to the shed. And Brenna is sitting on the floor crying, and she asks immediately. She asks Sam, what you did to Roy, is it true? Oh. And after she asks that, before you can really even answer, Roy attacks.

Bitch:

And the next thing we know, Dean and Sam are in web cocoons.

Jerk:

I have a question. So is the web coming out of his butt?

Bitch:

Where is the web coming from? We don't know. We don't know a lot of things. And look, all right, so I had a lot of lore. on like

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

giant spiders and like things coming out of webs and stuff. And I was really kind of going to focus on this like cryptid spider that supposedly existed in the Congo. And I went into all these things you're digging through like, did these missionaries really exist, etc. The me and chat GBT had a whole lot discussion about like, where do these things originally come from? What books would you first find them in? And then I finally decided that this whole bullshit. I mean, if you want to think that there are giant spiders in this world that exists, who am I? I just I can't I just can't take that away from you. And if you somehow think that there are you know, half spiders have people out there other DNA mixed in. Who am I? I just can't stop you. Uh, so I'm not going to ruin that. So if you want to believe that giant spiders live in the Congo. More power to you. Instead, I'm just going to fuck with Diana and put her in a quiz on people in cocoons.

Jerk:

Oh, God.

Bitch:

Cause that makes sense. Right?

Jerk:

Sure.

Bitch:

Why the fuck not in this episode? What the fuck else makes sense? Cocoon. I feel like I'm sure the movie Cocoon had like some, didn't have like a very traumatic like soundtrack that we can, we get sued for putting in here. All right.

Jerk:

Maybe.

Bitch:

So here is this world's stupidest quiz on people in Cocoon.

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

. I just found out about this:

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

Okay, in this movie, Greg is an exterminator. A giant alien escapes from a military lab and rampages the city of Los Angeles. When a massive military strike fails, it is up to a team of scientists and one clever exterminator to kill the creature before the city is destroyed. That is completely taking him IMDb I did not write that. What is this movie called? All right, so it's Greg Grunberg. He's an exterminator. And there's a giant spider. is rampaging LA. Is it called A. Beverly Hills Spider? B. Big Ass Spider? C. Spider Wars? Or D. The Spider Knight?

Jerk:

I'm going to go with Spider Wars.

Bitch:

is actually Big Ass Spider. And

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

it is. The name of the movie is Big Ass Spider. I just started watching it last night. It is fucking hilarious. Honestly, I highly recommend.

Jerk:

way.

Bitch:

I haven't watched all of it yet, but watch Big Ass Spider.

Jerk:

Wow. I just couldn't believe that that would be the name. So that's why I couldn't go

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

with

Bitch:

know,

Jerk:

that one.

Bitch:

I know. So good. All right.

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

question. Number two, in the:

Jerk:

Was that Scar Jo? Scarlett Johansson?

Bitch:

It was Colin, Colin Joe's wife, Scarlett Johansson.

Jerk:

Which cracks me up all the time, but

Bitch:

It

Jerk:

it's okay.

Bitch:

does, I honestly, I want this, if you call her ScarJo, I've never heard that, but I can call her ScarJo from now on. But

Jerk:

I thought

Bitch:

I would

Jerk:

that was a

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

thing,

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

maybe

Bitch:

ScarJo,

Jerk:

I just made it up, I don't

Bitch:

KoJo,

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

ColJo, ColinJo. So they're both Colin Joes, right? So like they are Colin, Colin and Scarlett Jo. And yeah, I want that reality show.

Jerk:

Yeah, I bet that's hilarious.

Bitch:

Yeah, I want I want to see inside your lives people. All right. Number three, in the TV episode, darkness falls. What is first thought to be eco terrorists going after a logging company instead turns out to be a species of insects accidentally released by the loggers when they chopped down an old growth tree. The insect which swarms at night and cocoons its victims alive One of the protagonists in the show says at the end I told her it was going to be a nice trip to the forest What show was this was it a X files B French C the outer limits or D? Grim

Jerk:

That's a tough one. I'm gonna go with X files.

Bitch:

And you're right. Oh, my God. You're a YouTuber too. Yes, there actually was an episode of the X-Files and. Sadly, like, like once again, like Scully ended up in like some sort of medical coma because of shit that happened in the episode, like and Mulder was just fine at the end, which is why he's like, I told her it was going to be a nice trip to the forest while she's like

Jerk:

I think

Bitch:

lying

Jerk:

I've seen

Bitch:

in a

Jerk:

that

Bitch:

hospital

Jerk:

one.

Bitch:

fighting for her life.

Jerk:

I think I saw that one. That's why I was like, this sounds familiar.

Bitch:

I figured you had because you're an X-Files person. So all right, question number four.

Jerk:

Truth is out there, man.

Bitch:

The truth

Jerk:

Truth is

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

out there.

Bitch:

out there or in there. Okay, so question number four, this gremlin in Gremlins 2. This gremlin drank the spider DNA serum, which resulted in the lower half of his body becoming spider-like. He used the lower part of his body to spin a web in a corridor of a building, and in that web he trapped several victims. Gizmo kills this gremlin by shooting a flaming arrow at him. What was the gremlin's name? Was it Spike? Mullet? Mohawk? Or Chelsea. See what I did there? You see what I did?

Jerk:

I did. I like it. I appreciate that. I'm gonna go with Spike.

Bitch:

It was mohawk mohawk was the evil gremlin All right. Our last question, but you didn't, you didn't really get so far. You got, you got in three,

Jerk:

Two, two,

Bitch:

right?

Jerk:

two and two.

Bitch:

No, you got big spider. No, you didn't get big spider. No. Sorry. Okay. Sorry. All

Jerk:

Mm-mm.

Bitch:

right. I was going to give you that one, but you didn't. So, all right. So you're

Jerk:

I'm gonna

Bitch:

okay.

Jerk:

be honest. I'll own it.

Bitch:

All right. In this movie from:

Jerk:

Was it Killer Clowns?

Bitch:

It was!

Jerk:

Yeah, I know Killer Clowns. It's like dang, it's been a minute.

Bitch:

hose were in fact movies from:

Jerk:

I'm

Bitch:

I've

Jerk:

surprised

Bitch:

never

Jerk:

you

Bitch:

seen

Jerk:

have

Bitch:

this.

Jerk:

not yet seen this.

Bitch:

ust going and looking up like:

Jerk:

Three out of five.

Bitch:

your hat. So you're not an eight legged freak. You're 33% of a spider. I don't know. What is that? You're a beetle. I don't know.

Jerk:

Ew.

Bitch:

I have no idea what Dine is. We'll have to come up with that. I need to come up with that scale so we can be like Hoss and Pauliton.

Jerk:

Your quiz today, your responses said

Bitch:

Next

Jerk:

that

Bitch:

time

Jerk:

you're

Bitch:

we'll have

Jerk:

this.

Bitch:

the quiz and

Jerk:

This

Bitch:

we'll find

Jerk:

means…

Bitch:

out what your quiz is. That sounds like a good goal. Okay, alright, so moving on...

Jerk:

So we've got Sam and Dean are all webbed up and Roy is standing over them. He makes a joke about how good he looks.

Bitch:

Hmm?

Jerk:

But he's pissed that Sam came back, even though he enticed him to come back

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

with

Bitch:

don't understand

Jerk:

texting him.

Bitch:

again.

Jerk:

But he's mad.

Bitch:

You told him to come back.

Jerk:

Well, he's glad he came back, but he's mad that he's kicking it with his wife. I think that's

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

what

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

it is.

Bitch:

I think he thinks he's about to fuck Brenna, right? Like,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

is that what...

Jerk:

Yeah, I think that's what it was. And I was really confused and concerned. So I was like, I don't really like the storyline that now like Sam fucked this nice married lady to. I was kind of like

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

distraught

Bitch:

I don't think

Jerk:

about

Bitch:

he

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

did, did he?

Jerk:

I don't think he did either.

Bitch:

I don't

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

think

Jerk:

earlier

Bitch:

he

Jerk:

when

Bitch:

fucked

Jerk:

we

Bitch:

Brenna.

Jerk:

first

Bitch:

I think Brenna

Jerk:

I don't

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

think

Bitch:

not,

Jerk:

he did.

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

But when we didn't know when they just had the web at the house and I was like, what the fuck? Not Brenna. That's Turner has been so happy. It's so weird. And I mean, no judgment. It just seems like a lot. I don't

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

know.

Bitch:

no, this

Jerk:

Most.

Bitch:

doesn't seem like an open relationship. Like, ahhhhhhhhh

Jerk:

No. And he's like, look, I got it wrong. You know, the thing that wasn't there to feed, it was there to breed. Um,

Bitch:

Okay,

Jerk:

Just.

Bitch:

you can't just pat like, go skim over that. The arachne wasn't there to feed. She was there to breed.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Oh, that's like a terrible like bumper sticker or something like don't be there to feed be there to breed.

Jerk:

So Roy's telling this whole thing. He's like, yeah, so her bit, her bite was turning me into what she was.

Bitch:

What?

Jerk:

And while this is happening, Dean is luckily sneaking to grab inch his fingers over to grab a piece of broken glass to try to start cutting them out of this web. But he, Roy tells them that like, look, by the time Sam shot me bolts didn't hurt much. Neither did fire because I was already mostly a rack me.

Bitch:

What?

Jerk:

So the hospital probably wouldn't have helped. So I don't know if that like changes

Bitch:

So why...

Jerk:

things or not.

Bitch:

Like I hate all of this. Like it's all stupid. This is all

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

fucking stupid.

Jerk:

it's real stupid and then Roy shares that we ran that means all five of them got the fuck

Bitch:

all five.

Jerk:

out

Bitch:

So the rest is like these Iraqis

Jerk:

Yes,

Bitch:

are just

Jerk:

they're all

Bitch:

elsewhere.

Jerk:

running around

Bitch:

They're just

Jerk:

they're all running around

Bitch:

they're all running around. But somehow the only ones we have found so far is Roy Roy is like the other ones. We don't know where the other ones are. So

Jerk:

They're

Bitch:

those

Jerk:

out there.

Bitch:

those are just the first ones, right? So those are

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

the first five dudes.

Jerk:

Yeah. And it took they had to hide a bunch and blah, blah, blah, blah. But the only thing that kept Roy fueled was his imagining ripping Sam's throat out.

Bitch:

So I just don't understand Samuel and like, Super Hunter Sola Sam not thinking about this, right? Like, because they cut off her they've like, Samuel shot her. She didn't die. And then Sam cut off her head with the machete.

Jerk:

So all they did was shoot these guys in the head and then burn them and think they were done.

Bitch:

Yeah, why didn't they cut off their heads?

Jerk:

Sam's weird.

Bitch:

That seems weird and stupid.

Jerk:

So Roy just does confess what we all already know by now. We've all pieced together that, yes, it was him sending the text. Yes, he was targeting the girls that Sam had screwed. And Brenna is like Brenna had told Roy already about Sam's, quote unquote, brain damage. That's what they're calling it. Yeah.

Bitch:

Not wrong.

Jerk:

But he's like, yeah, and you know, the girls that we took, they've been bred also, and they're scattered now as well.

Bitch:

Mm-hmm.

Jerk:

So the three girls that are missing have now been turned into Rachne too. And then, but Roy just has to decide what to do, whether he needs to kill or turn Sam. Hmm.

Bitch:

And this is where my notes say I do like his spider eyes. So this is where Diana and I differ. I think they're beautiful.

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

creepy. I don't like

Bitch:

see, but

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

also I and we probably haven't discussed this until this point because we haven't really kind of gone into the spider part of this, which was Diana. How do you feel about spiders?

Jerk:

I dislike spiders a lot. I like spider webs designs. I think they're beautiful. And I think that, like, I understand spiders' importance, I guess, in the ecosystem or something, but I don't want them on me, near me, or around my house.

Bitch:

And, you know, part of me

Jerk:

cough

Bitch:

thinks that's totally fair as I am wearing my spider web necklace. As I was getting dressed tonight and trying to figure out my necklace for this, I was like, duh, we're the spider web. But yeah, in the stances is, you know, Liz loves spiders. Liz is the one who whose parents used to have take the tarantulas out of the house because everybody else wanted to kill the tarantulas and I wanted the tarantulas to have a happy home outside. So I love spiders.

Jerk:

No,

Bitch:

they're beautiful

Jerk:

no,

Bitch:

and we all have our things.

Jerk:

no. I mean, I have spider webs tattooed all over me. I just

Bitch:

Fair,

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

fair.

Jerk:

the design.

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

I appreciate

Bitch:

You're

Jerk:

the

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

design.

Bitch:

I like their design. That spider webs on me, but like, I don't like, I don't know. I've always loved spiders. I think they're, I think they're cool. So.

Jerk:

I used to be like super terrified of him. I got total nightmares from arachnophobia. It was a thing. Dad

Bitch:

Arachnophobia

Jerk:

woke up in the middle of the

Bitch:

was,

Jerk:

night

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

with us screaming. Me and my sister thought we could stay up late and watch it on the

Bitch:

Was

Jerk:

sofa

Bitch:

an

Jerk:

bed

Bitch:

arachnophobia

Jerk:

in the living room.

Bitch:

a comedy?

Jerk:

Yes. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. And we woke my dad up screaming on the sofa and he came running through the house because he didn't know what was going on because all of a sudden his daughters are screaming in the living room.

Bitch:

Yeah, I think we both have the you watch this horror movie to you thought you're you're you're too big for your riches and you watched a horror movie earlier than you should have.

Jerk:

Yeah. So

Bitch:

Anyways,

Jerk:

well,

Bitch:

okay,

Jerk:

in,

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

in the meantime of this, we've got say Dean has managed to cut himself free of the webbing and jumps up to fight. And, but Brennan is not into this. She's like not feeling this fight. She wants Roy to stop it. She does not like where this is going. She's upset, but she just doesn't really think that this is right. And so she cuts Sam

Bitch:

Poor

Jerk:

free.

Bitch:

Brenna.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Oh my god. That's the one who I feel the most for all of this. Like fucking Brenna, right?

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

So, and Roy is just choking

Jerk:

He's

Bitch:

Dean

Jerk:

about to kill Dean.

Bitch:

out. He's just going all very aggro. And he's not going after Sam, he's going after Dean.

Jerk:

Well, because he thinks Sam's trapped and Dean's the one attacking him. So Brenna helps Sam cut free and then

Bitch:

Coon

Jerk:

Sam takes.

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

how I pronounce him, I'm Coon.

Jerk:

so Sam gets the the machete and decapitates Roy, which is real awkward because Brenna standing right there.

Bitch:

And then we just look at each other and cry because there's nothing else you can do during this episode. But look at each other and

Jerk:

and cry.

Bitch:

cry.

Jerk:

And so Brenna goes back into her house and Dean's trying to apologize and she slams the door in his face.

Bitch:

Sam,

Jerk:

As she

Bitch:

Sam,

Jerk:

should.

Bitch:

as she should. Because Sam's like, I'm very sorry. I just beheaded your husband. That I just like, but this

Jerk:

that I had previously

Bitch:

like.

Jerk:

set up to turn into a monster and let him die

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

and tried to kill him.

Bitch:

And I think like Brenna is like the hero of this episode.

Jerk:

She kind of is, she's kind of a bad bitch.

Bitch:

I love Brenna. All right. So Sam tells Dean they shouldn't come back.

Jerk:

Yeah, the wreck of the squad house. We end this episode at the squad house, which is weird. That's not a usual episode ending location.

Bitch:

Okay, we're gonna squad house, alright.

Jerk:

And yeah, Sam tells Dean he was right. They shouldn't have come back. And Dean's like, yeah, you know, I think, you know, that whatever, the stuff that happened last year, the stuff that solo Sam did wasn't you. But Sam disagrees. He's like, let's be crystal clear, it was me.

Bitch:

And to be fair, I mean, I don't know. Like if I was saying like, this is me, right? Cause like, this is just me without assault. Like, and as far as the law is concerned, it's

Jerk:

The

Bitch:

you.

Jerk:

law would definitely say it's you,

Bitch:

The law

Jerk:

absolutely.

Bitch:

is definitely going to say it's you

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

Sam.

Jerk:

no doubt, yeah.

Bitch:

All those husbands of those wives, that was your dick. Like all

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

of those wives, that was your dick inside of them Sam.

Jerk:

It wasn't not your dick.

Bitch:

It wasn't your dick got wet Sam.

Jerk:

So,

Bitch:

Okay, so...

Jerk:

and then Dean's like, could I get you anything? And he's like, no, what do you mean? You're a waiter now. And he's like, just trying to make you feel better. Don't be a bitch. I thought that was a good ending. I'm sorry.

Bitch:

And I do, but also I get this, right? Cause like there are times there's someone like, we all go through, I think it's supposed to be all these past three years. We go through a lot of shit. And sometimes

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

like, you're just looking at your friend or your brother or your sibling. I'm like, can I just get you anything? And like,

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

and then like, if you're the person on the other side of it, you're just like, roar, die. And they're just like, I just wanted to give you a soda. And you're like, Exactly wrong moment to talk to me and now you must die I feel like that's what happened.

Jerk:

Oh, well, and Dean tells him everything's going to be fine.

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

And then

Bitch:

a lie.

Jerk:

it's not fine.

Bitch:

It's not

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

a lie.

Jerk:

then

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

a

Jerk:

not.

Bitch:

lie. It's all a fucking lie.

Jerk:

It's not fine, because right then, Dean Sam collapses. He's very worried about what else he did, and he collapses and is convulsing, seizing. I don't know. But all we know is that Dean runs over to him. And Sam is in a very, very red place in his mind.

Bitch:

Sam's in hell. So Sam's in hell. And so Sam's hell, which also is important to note that is the exact same sounds as Dean's house but different visual imaging because we all have but

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

it's still like it still looks like Elmo and hell. Like all of the oh go no we have to end because Dianna's Dianna's But is that that same like just like hellscape that's not a hell that's just so wait so like them fucking you just look like you being on fire okay all right

Jerk:

weird.

Bitch:

weird so I think

Jerk:

It's weird.

Bitch:

we have a lot to to end this with it's late but I think that Diana would you've got some casting things?

Jerk:

I do have some casting notes. I do. So we'll kick off with our beloved Brenna Dobbs. Was played by Miranda Frigone. She has been

Bitch:

FIGGONE!

Jerk:

in a lot of Hallmark movies. She also had an uncredited role as a psychologist in Chappie. And then a lot of single episodes of television, including shows we love like Bones, Magicians. She was Lady Pike. She was Gloria in a couple episodes of Charmed. And she was a regular character named Paula in the Day of the Dead television series as well. Then we've got our Sheriff Roy Dobbs, AKA our arachne at the end, was played by Joe Holt. He was a reoccurring character on As the World Turns. He was on a handful of episodes of actually more than a handful of episodes of both Law and Order and all of the various Law and Order spin-offs. A lot of miscellaneous just kind of like single episode roles and small roles in films. So a lot of things you could have seen him in. He did play the defense secretary in the TV show Scandal, which is a reoccurring role as well. Leopold, uh,

Bitch:

Oh,

Jerk:

uh,

Bitch:

that's right. Oh, that was an actually really deep. Oh, that was a good role. I get it.

Jerk:

And he played a character named Leopold in Walking Dead, The World Beyond, which was a spinoff series.

Bitch:

Mm-hmm.

Jerk:

And he's currently in the Bel-Air series as Fred Wilkes.

Bitch:

intriguing.

Jerk:

Yeah, and then we've got Debbie Harris, who you mentioned earlier, that

Bitch:

Wait,

Jerk:

was

Bitch:

do

Jerk:

a young

Bitch:

they

Jerk:

woman.

Bitch:

gave her the last name of Harris? That's awesome. Good for them. Good for them.

Jerk:

that was played by Paula Egan and she's been a lot of a lot of this cast was this was heavy on the Hallmark

Bitch:

She

Jerk:

series

Bitch:

was heavy

Jerk:

man

Bitch:

in the homework. Like I had to like, because I was I knew you were gonna come to her. But I wanted

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

to double check her age because I thought I was offended. And I was like, No, I am offended. But I

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

was

Jerk:

I'd like to put a

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

heavy in the hallmark.

Bitch:

the homework thing. That was how I verified the existence because that was my cross reference from her IMDB page to like the biography I found. I was like, Ah, yes.

Jerk:

Well, I would like to highlight one specific Hallmark movie. She was in Christmas at Dollywood as Alexis.

Bitch:

Ooh!

Jerk:

And then our rock name is played by Matita Barber, who does not have an extensive history, which thought I'd share. What

Bitch:

She had amazing makeup on her. She

Jerk:

today.

Bitch:

had no speaking roles, but she was good.

Jerk:

And Edward Drake was played by Christopher Rosemond. This is a super tiny role, super tiny role. But this actor, Christopher Rosemond, was Mr. Kinkle in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Mustang

Bitch:

Oh,

Jerk:

in Riverdale.

Bitch:

that was Harvey's terrible dad. Okay, yeah.

Jerk:

Mustang in Riverdale. He's one of the deputies in the TV show Hell on Wheels. and played a character named Boone in the movie The Revenant. Pretty interesting background. And then our deputy was played by William Vaughn. He's currently currently been recently been a hunter in the TV series Yellow Jackets, which is pretty big. And

Bitch:

Have you watched

Jerk:

he was

Bitch:

it

Jerk:

in.

Bitch:

yet?

Jerk:

Mm hmm. I've heard good things, but I haven't watched

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

can keep looking at

Jerk:

And.

Bitch:

Tell Me Good Things, but it seems dark.

Jerk:

It does seem dark. And then he was an underworld park ranger in an episode of magicians. I was just amused by that.

Bitch:

That is adorable.

Jerk:

So yeah, that's our cast.

Bitch:

So I think it was a brilliant cast. I think that

Jerk:

I like Brenna.

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

Poor

Bitch:

think

Jerk:

Brenna.

Bitch:

this was a the episode was very well written and I think it was very well acted. I think it bums me the fuck out.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Do you disagree?

Jerk:

I'm processing. I'm debating if I agree on how, it was just not my favorite episode at all for a variety of reasons. There was a couple of really good one-liners and funny things, but it was like, some of it was just so uncomfortable that I didn't necessarily love the story or the dialogue.

Bitch:

Okay, yeah, I may be retracting some things. Also, I'm thinking about like the chicks who like, how many chicks did Sam Bang ended up being dead?

Jerk:

trace.

Bitch:

Well, they said three, right? So who were the three?

Jerk:

There's Nicole,

Bitch:

Wait.

Jerk:

Debbie, and one we never hear or see about.

Bitch:

Yeah, who's the one we didn't hear or see about? Like, I don't understand that. I don't understand the random dudes that Sam just shot in the head and then sat on fire and then they were just like

Jerk:

This doesn't even make

Bitch:

bopping

Jerk:

sense with

Bitch:

about.

Jerk:

anything about the storyline.

Bitch:

Like, Samuel and him just got drunk with the sheriff and his wife. And then,

Jerk:

and talked about being hunters.

Bitch:

yeah, I don't get a lot of this episode. I don't. Beyond the fact

Jerk:

It just doesn't

Bitch:

of-

Jerk:

allow it just seems out of it's not like way like what the fuck but it's just like just barely out of sync with what we know to be the story and the characters.

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

And that's what it was weird.

Bitch:

think if you're trying to be like, this is what Sam did while he was on summer vacation from his soul. I feel like something else, there could have been something, they should have done something in line with the Crowley thing. I think that would have made more sense. They had gone something with the alpha stuff, made something that we were hunting.

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

You could have put this in the storyline

Jerk:

the way it was done differently. Yeah. I agree.

Bitch:

g that you haven't seen since:

Jerk:

And now all of a sudden, there's eight new ones.

Bitch:

But it made sense for the the idea of they were like things were popping up that you hadn't seen for for a while, right? Like that

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

was a theme that somehow came into this up the season.

Jerk:

That's true.

Bitch:

So I guess that's part of the season.

Jerk:

That was just kind of a depressing one.

Bitch:

I don't like it. I hate it. I hate that. I hate that. I hate the fucking flashbacks. I accept for like except for the sexy Tumblr shit. Like, I'm pretty sure this made like there is also probably just some girls coming of age who fat whatever the female version of do we females fat? I don't know what we do. But like just like this, like on Tumblr for a while. Just like, Sam, be like, I was like,

Jerk:

Bye-bye.

Bitch:

ah, cuff me. Like, but you're right. Like, it's very. Very fiduciates a great. This fete shades the spider.

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

All right,

Jerk:

man.

Bitch:

so the other thing that I wanted to somehow bring into this, the only you and I, Megan or other people who really love Harry Potter, I really just wanted at some point in this or someone to describe the spiders is going. And on that, we're going to end this.

Jerk:

Cheers, bitch.

Links