Many Christian women in the entrepreneur space never set out to be a boss or a mogul initially. Most of us just saw a need and wanted to help people. But the quicker we can embrace and step into the energy that comes from being a true boss in our business, the quicker we'll create (and become) something truly amazing.

Being a boss means so much more than just hiring employees - in fact, I suggest everyone step into this boss energy WAY before ever hiring your first team member. It looks like embracing confidence, respecting your own and other people's time, it looks like trusting your intuition and building something with God by your side.

Your audience desperately needs you to take charge and help them to change their lives. And this episode will help you get started!

Mastering Confidence and Balance in Parenting and Business Leadership

Download my free guide to getting your coaching business up and running in ONE weekend.

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00:16 Motherhood and Intuition: A Personal Journey

01:05 Questioning the Experts: Curating Information

01:59 Parenting: Trusting Your Own Expertise

03:02 You Are the Boss: Embracing Business Leadership

04:17 Knowing Yourself: Leveraging Personal Expertise

07:19 Seeking Help: When to Rely on Experts

10:47 The Power of Being in Charge: Embracing Leadership

13:22 Embodying Boss Traits

13:40 Choosing Confidence

14:46 Practicing Compassion

15:38 Setting Boundaries

16:10 Prioritizing Your Business

17:06 Committing Fully

18:19 Showing Up as a Boss

22:44 Eliminating Insecurity

25:08 Final Thoughts on Being a Boss

Welcome back my friends.

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I cannot wait to talk to you today about

how to be the boss in your business and

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how to straddle that fine line between.

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Following your own intuition, your own

gut, and listening to all the experts

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that are shouting at you from Instagram

and your inbox and everywhere else

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for me following my intuition has

been a huge part of motherhood.

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I've been a mother for

almost 20 years now.

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And I have used following my intuition.

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To make decisions in every aspect

of being a mom, whether it be where

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to live, how to feed my family.

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How to make choices in

pregnancy and birth.

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How to educate my family, which has

led us to homeschooling how to make

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medical decisions and so much more.

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This isn't really a concept that I thought

about a lot as a kid or a young adult,

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because I didn't have a lot of reasons

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to maybe second guests or look further

into what the quote unquote experts were

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telling me about decisions in my life.

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But as soon as I started raising

my kids, I realized, you know,

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I want to look more into that.

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I want to question the status quo.

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I want to check in with my own

intuition and with God to make these

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decisions, rather than just doing what.

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Everyone else is doing.

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Now we all know that the

quote-unquote experts have a

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lot to say about everything.

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And some of this is helpful.

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Sometimes it's really helpful to listen

to the experts, especially when we're

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trying to make a difficult decision.

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Some of it is less.

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So a lot of people online

claim that they're experts.

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And they're just experts because they

say they are not because they actually

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have any training or any experience

or anything other than a big mouth.

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And they want to tell you

what they think about things.

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So we have to be really, really

cautious about who we listen

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to in today's day and age.

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Anyway, we have this prolific amount of

information on the internet now, instead

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of accumulating information in today's

day and age, our struggle is to curate

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it and find the experts we really want

to listen to and be very picky about.

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Where we want to get our information from.

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, most of these experts

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have some very strong reasons

about saying what they do.

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Some of it is based on

research and sciences.

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Some of it not so much.

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But it's up to us to decide

where we're going to listen

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and what experts we're

going to give attention to.

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Now going back to parenting for a second.

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I firmly believe that every mother is the

ultimate expert on her kids and family.

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I do.

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I also believe it's our job to

coordinate with other experts in

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their field, whether they're medical

experts or teachers or administrators.

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Uh, other people also care about our

children and want them to succeed.

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But in the end, it's our job to determine

what information is best for our family.

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We have the final say in

how we parent our children.

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If we relegate this responsibility to

someone else, it can end in disastrous

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consequences for our families

because no one else has the same.

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Desire and passion to see

our family succeed as us.

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Us and our spouses, hopefully.

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Looking back over my years of parenting,

I realized that if I had followed

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expert's advice, every time they

gave it to me, I probably wouldn't

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have half the kids I have right now.

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And we would probably still have some

significant medical problems because I

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chose to look outside the box in regards

to feeding and medicating my family.

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So that's just a little side note.

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You are the expert on your

family, but guess where else?

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You're the expert.

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In your business.

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You are the CEO.

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You are the boss.

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You are the head honcho.

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You are the top gun,

whatever you want to call it.

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You are the one in charge.

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It is simultaneously eight

terrifying realization.

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And a liberating realization.

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We don't have to ask anyone's permission.

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We don't have to.

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Get policies changed that we don't

like, we don't have to go up the

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ladder to file our complaints.

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The buck stops with us.

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But, like I said, this is also terrifying.

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We're the one that, has the

final say in everything.

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We don't have to ask anyone else

how to best build our business.

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But like with parenting, we

will want to coordinate and

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cooperate with other experts.

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We can't know everything about

building a business and frankly,

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we wouldn't want to our brain.

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Is better served, doing other things

than accumulating all the knowledge

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in every business area possible.

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But there are certain

things that we do know best.

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So we're going to talk about that.

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We're going to talk about when to reach

out to the experts and get their input.

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And then we're going to talk about

what is required to show up as a boss.

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Even if we have no employees,

I'm not talking about being the

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boss of a team, although that.

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We'll probably come

eventually for most of us.

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But I'm talking about just being the

boss of your brain and your business.

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So first let's talk about

what we do know best.

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We know ourselves best.

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There is no one in the world

that knows us better than us.

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We know what our expertise is.

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We know what knowledge we have.

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We know our past experiences,

our talents, our skills.

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Now sometimes especially as Christian

women, we have this really annoying

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propensity to minimize our expertise

and our skills and our talents.

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And we like to play them down.

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For some reason.

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I don't know what it is.

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I hate it.

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And we all need to be better at that.

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But.

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If we're really honest with ourselves,

we know those talents and those

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experiences better than anyone else.

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And so we're the ones that can monetize

those that can share them with the world

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that can help other people with the

skills and talents we've been given.

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We also know our family's best.

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We know what we need, what our

kids need, what our spouse needs.

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We know how our family is

going to need us to show up.

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Even as a busy entrepreneur, as a

mom who needs to feed kids and care

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for them and still build a business,

we might not know exactly how to

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do that yet, but we do generally

know what our family needs from us.

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We also know our audience best.

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Now you might not think of this as

true yet, because maybe you're kind

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of new in your business and you

don't really know what your audience

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needs yet, but give it a little bit

of time if you've been talking to

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them for just a little bit of time.

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Even just six months, you will know

what your audience needs, pay attention.

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Ask questions.

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Listen, really clearly, especially

when they're saying things

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that you don't want to hear.

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Pay close attention so that you can

know exactly what your audience needs.

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And even if you see people in

your industry that have the same

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exact niche as you, they will

have slightly different audiences.

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Nobody has an email list that

looks exactly like yours.

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Nobody has an Instagram following that.

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It looks exactly like yours.

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So pay attention to what your people

are saying, what they're commenting,

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what their pain points are, and you

will be able to build a business.

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Best for that particular audience.

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We also.

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No, our past successes and our past

failures better than anyone else.

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People will see what we do and what we.

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Succeed or fail at whatever

we choose to make that mean.

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But we're the only ones that know

the lessons that we learned from it.

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We're the only ones that know.

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If maybe we ignored some inspiration that

could have been followed and avoided.

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Some of those failures,

we know the whole picture.

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So paying attention to past successes

and failures is really critical as well.

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We've learned the lessons necessary.

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From those successes and

failures, nobody else has.

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Or maybe we haven't learned the

lessons and we're still learning them.

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So that means if someone suggests

we should do something that

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maybe hasn't worked before,

we get to choose differently.

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If we choose to, we get to say,

you know what, I've tried that.

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And I know the experts were saying

that's going to work for me, but it

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hasn't worked for me in my experience.

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I'm going to try something differently.

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We also know our weaknesses best.

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And we have to have the

courage to push through them.

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So when our brain starts talking

nonsense to us and telling us it'll

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never work and giving us all these

sob stories, we have to be aware of

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those weaknesses and stand up to.

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Those excuses that keep flooding

our brain and still take action.

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Those are the areas

where we know the best.

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So don't.

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Diminish your knowledge and your

expertise in any of these areas because

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you are the expert in these areas.

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But there are areas where you will

need to learn from an expert and.

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Have them help you in some way or another?

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Here's a few areas that

that might be the case.

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Let's go back to our weaknesses.

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Like I said, our brain is really good

at telling stories that keep us safe.

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It's good at avoiding things

that are hard, avoiding

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things that are uncomfortable.

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And sometimes we need a coach

or a friend to push us through.

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So this is one place where

I lean on my coaches.

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I acknowledged, you know, my

brain is telling me a story

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I don't want to believe.

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And yet it sounds really convincing.

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I need someone to help me.

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Push through this story and

decide if it's true or not.

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And if it's something

that I want to hold onto.

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So that is someplace that I go outside

of my own expertise, even though I'm

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a life coach and I can coach myself.

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It helps immensely to have another

person look at my situation and say,

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let's take a look at what's going on

here and see if we want to hold onto it.

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We also might need help with

accountability Now an awesome part

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about an accountability partner is they

don't have to be an expert in anything.

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It can be your husband.

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It can be your 12 year old son.

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It can just be somebody that

holds you accountable to what

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you've promised yourself to do.

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So sometimes we need someone

to help us with accountability.

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We also sometimes need to know what's

generally working in the business space.

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We don't need to reinvent the wheel.

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When I say you're the expert.

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And to trust your intuition,

it doesn't mean go out and

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do everything the hard way.

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Find out what's generally

working in your space.

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If you're an e-commerce.

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Owner then go ask other e-commerce

owners, find an e-commerce coach

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and say, what's working now.

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What should I be doing with my email?

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How often should I be having new products?

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How often should I be having sales

and promotions, get a general

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idea of what's working in the

space, but then acknowledged that

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you don't have to have a wheel.

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Like everybody else, you don't

have to reinvent it, but you

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don't have to have one that looks

exactly like everybody else's.

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We also need experts to

show us what's possible.

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Sometimes we need inspiration to know

what is even a possibility for us.

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I personally would probably never

have guessed that it was possible to

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make millions of dollars and helping.

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That one's and thousands

of people with coaching.

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If it hadn't been for big names

in the coaching space if I hadn't

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seen these women doing it, I don't

think I would have believed it or

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had that imagination to go that far.

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So I'm so grateful for experts that

have shown me what is possible.

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And then finally, sometimes

we need someone to just

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help us see through the fog.

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This fog kind of looks like.

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The valley of despair that I've

talked about before, it looks like

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thinking nothing is going to work.

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Thinking, you're a failure thinking

that you've tried this all before

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and it's failed in the past and

it's just going to keep failing.

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We sometimes need someone to

say, Hey, I know it's hard and

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you're feeling discouraged, but

remember, these are your strengths.

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Remember, these are skills.

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Remember you've had success here before.

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I had an interesting call with a

friend recently, and she was struggling

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with the sales in her business.

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And we were talking about how to

overcome some of these stories

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that her brain was giving her.

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And she was convinced that she couldn't

make a certain amount of money in a day.

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That was the conversation.

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And what was so interesting that

we uncovered is that this woman had

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actually already made that amount

in a day before multiple times.

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But our brain was not

going to that evidence.

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It was just going to the idea that

this sounded hard and impossible.

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So it actually had real life evidence

to prove that it was wrong and our

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brains still wanted to hold onto it.

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So again, this is kind of going back

to checking in with a coach, but

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sometimes it's just a trusted friend.

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Can you help me see through

this fall right now asking them?

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Can you help me see my

strengths again, please?

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Give me a pep talk, please.

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Remind me why I got into this

I'm feeling really down lately.

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So those are some of the

areas where we need experts.

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Now let's shift into talking about the

power of being in charge of your business.

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This is something not a lot of us.

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Want to talk about or think

about, because it sounds scary

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being the boss sounds scary.

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Right?

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Relegating responsibility to your life

coach or your business coach or other

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experts or your husband or anyone else.

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We'll just keep us stuck because in the

end, it's our business and no one else's,

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we have to embrace that role of boss.

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Everyone needs to go out and buy a.

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Mug like Michael Scott has.

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It says world's best boss.

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Even if you have no team members,

maybe it's better if you don't, because

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there's no one to tell you otherwise.

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And you put that mug on your desk

and you remind yourself, I am a boss.

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I am in charge of a business.

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And eventually probably employees,

if you don't have any yet, Be bossy.

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Tell people, no, if need be.

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I choose different paths.

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If it feels right.

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Have the courage to do things your way.

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That's what bosses do.

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Think about.

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The quintessential bosses that

are super successful in our day.

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Like Elon Musk or Steve jobs.

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I don't think that they're

letting people walk over them.

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I don't think they're saying yes to things

that don't serve them in their company.

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They are being the boss.

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For better for worse sometimes bosses.

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Aren't the kindest.

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We get to choose what kind of

boss we want to be, but step

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into that role and embrace it.

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Simultaneously, we can also choose to be

humble and teachable and willing to change

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tactics if they're not working for us.

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So I have worked for bosses before

that have been very confident, very

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assertive and very much in charge

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of the office I worked in, but they were

also humble and willing to pay attention.

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If someone told them they

made a mistake, okay.

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That's the kind of boss we want to be

assertive in charge bossy, but also

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acknowledge that we're not always right.

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Finding that middle ground

is going to be so powerful.

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Now, of course it goes without saying

that the ultimate expert to have in

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our corner with our business is God.

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He is actually the only one who

knows us even better than we do.

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And he knows the future.

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So he gets to show us the best way.

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But like, I think I mentioned in

a previous episode, he does not

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want us to sit back and be lazy.

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Just expecting him to

solve all our problems.

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We can't just pray and be like,

Hey God, I've got this issue

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and I really want you to fix it.

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Can you just fix it for me?

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New, we ask for solutions that we

can then implement, Hey, help me

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figure out why clients aren't coming.

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Hey, help me figure out this struggle

that I'm having here instead of just,

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I'm going to sit here and you're going

to send me clients and customers.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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Sounds great.

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No, that is not how it works.

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We have to be willing to do

the work and then ask God to.

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Shift our direction.

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If need be.

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So what.

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Now let's talk for a second

about what is required to show

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up as a boss, there are certain.

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Personality traits and emotions.

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We need to embody to be an incredible

boss, even like I said, even

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without employees, just a boss of

ourselves and of our own business.

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And the first one, I think

has to be confidence.

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Now we don't have to be

perfect or amazingly successful

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to do it be confident.

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Did you know that?

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I think a lot of people think,

well, when I'm making six

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figures, then I will be confident.

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No, you won't.

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You will be a six figure business

owner who has no confidence,

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confidence, as we know, does not

show up based on the circumstance.

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It shows up based on the

thoughts we are thinking.

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So we are going to choose

confidence right now, even before

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we have a single client or coach.

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A single client or customer.

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We are going to choose confidence

before we make a single dollar.

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We're going to choose confidence

before our website is perfect before

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any of those other things happens.

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We have to be confident that

we can figure things out.

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And it's going to take practice for a lot

of us, especially if we've had failure in

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the past, or we have no evidence that we

can be successful, but confidence is key.

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All you have to know is

that you can help people.

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And even that might be a

stretch in the beginning.

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So just start practicing, start

practicing for free start, helping

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people start showing them that your

expertise and your compassion is all

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they need to get results in their life.

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And that confidence.

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And then you'll start gaining

evidence and it will be even easier

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to believe that you're confident.

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The other thing you need to

have to be a boss is compassion.

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Like we mentioned before, we

don't want to be a jerk boss.

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We want to be a boss that acknowledges

that everyone is doing their best.

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So what does this look like

when we don't have employees?

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Well, let's say that we're collaborating

with somebody and we asked them

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to send over a picture and a bio.

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And a link to their website so

that we can help promote them.

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And then they don't respond.

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And then they don't respond again

and you send them a reminder

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and they still don't respond.

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And maybe it drives

you a little bit crazy.

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And you think, why is this

person not responding?

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This was driving me crazy.

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This is so unprofessional.

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Just breathing and having compassion

for people can go a long way.

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Assuming that people are doing their best

and giving them room to make mistakes.

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But that has a limit.

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There are boundaries of that too.

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We'll get to that in a second.

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But that has a limit and

there are boundaries to that.

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And that's the next

thing you need as a boss.

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And that is the.

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Commitment to respect your own

time and the time of others.

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So this looks like not sending

crazy long voicemails or texts or

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messages to people like respect

that they have things to do to.

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But also not letting

people jerk you around.

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Don't let people take you for granted.

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And don't allow no shows, right?

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If somebody sets, it sets up an

appointment with you and then they just

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don't show up and don't give you warning.

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You don't need to work with that person.

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Right.

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So have some boundaries around how

you use your time and then respect the

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boundaries of other people as well.

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Along that line.

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We also need to be able to

prioritize our business.

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There is no boss out there that never

works on their business or only works

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on it when there's nothing else to do.

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No, you probably will not have

a super clean house before.

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There's time to work on your business.

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You probably will not.

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Be able to get everything else done.

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Before working on your business.

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So just acknowledge that you're going

to make a time commitment and you're

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going to honor it, even if it's hard.

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When this is difficult for me,

especially in the early days of my

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business, I had to think in terms

of the people who needed my help.

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Not in terms of my business, because my

business was still this tiny little baby.

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That I was still just

struggling to believe in.

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And so when I think about.

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When I instead thought about the

people that needed my help, it was

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so much easier for me to show up

every day because I wasn't showing

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up for me or for my business.

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I was showing up for Sarah and

Jodi and Susan and Melanie who

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desperately needed help with their

business and were like banging their

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head against the wall because they

couldn't figure these things out.

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That was so much more motivating for

me and help me prioritize my business.

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And then the final thing you

need to show up as a boss in

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your business is to commit.

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Go all in on your business.

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I had a conversation with

someone recently who said, well,

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Well, I think I like

this coaching business.

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I had a conversation with someone

recently who said, well, I think I

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like this coaching business idea,

unless it just doesn't work out

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and then I'll pick something else.

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And I thought, you know, it's kind of like

going into a marriage thinking, well, I

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kind of like this guy, unless it doesn't

work out, then we'll just get divorced.

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Well,

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His divorce was an option.

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Yes.

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Is quitting.

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Your business all was an option.

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Yes.

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But if it's constantly in the back of

your head, you will always have an escape

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because to not work on your business.

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Stop redesigning every day.

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If you're going to make this work,

decide one time, just one time, we're

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going to make it work no matter what.

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And then you can reconsider

a year or two down the road.

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But give yourself a timeline.

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Like I'm not going to read this.

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Reconsidered this decision for two

years and I'm going to go all in

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because having that escape clause,

it makes it so easy to not work hard.

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All right.

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So now that we know what is

required to show up as a boss,

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Where do we need to show up?

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Let's talk for a second about where

we need to show these personality

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traits and show up as this boss.

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Like I mentioned when we're

collaborating with other people, we

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need to show up with that boss energy.

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When we're making

decisions super critical.

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Sometimes we think, well, I just

don't know the right decision.

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So I'm just going to

keep thinking about it.

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Incessantly forever.

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No, a boss doesn't do that.

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A boss takes the best

information they have.

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They put a deadline on that decision

and then they make the decision.

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Even if they're insecure about it,

even if they're unsure, if it's the

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right one, so to speak, although we

know there's no right one, right?

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There's just a decision we can always.

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Change it later on, right?

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Like, let's say today, we need

an email service provider.

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Well, I'm going to choose flow desk

because I've heard that's a good one.

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And then we're going to use it for awhile

and it might be the best thing ever.

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And we might hate it.

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And.

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And three months down the line,

we're like, Nope, I don't want this.

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I'm going to go to convert kit.

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And so we take our list and we go

somewhere else, not a big deal.

452

So over analyzing decision-making

and staying stuck.

453

Before making a final decision is

not showing up with boss energy.

454

Another time to show up as

the boss is when dreaming.

455

If this is not something you

do regularly, it's time to

456

start dreaming is so powerful.

457

It puts us in touch with

what we really want.

458

It puts us in touch with our strengths,

with our desires, with the things

459

that are most important to us.

460

So start dreaming regularly and

don't hold back on those dreams.

461

Don't make them realistic.

462

Don't edit them.

463

Just let your mind go wild and be a

boss in dreaming big and dreaming things

464

that you would never say out loud.

465

I think that's so, so powerful.

466

Write them down somewhere.

467

If you need to, you don't have to

tell anybody it can stay in your

468

own head, but unlocking that power.

469

Means that your potential to get

there is now unlocked as well.

470

It's pretty amazing.

471

We also need to show up as a boss

when we're following up with people

472

or when we're closing a sale.

473

How many times.

474

If you've already been working

on your business for a while.

475

Think about how many times you followed

up with someone really tentatively

476

like, Hey, I don't know if you saw my

last message, but I was thinking that

477

maybe it could be fun if, no, that's

not how we follow up with people.

478

We say, Hey.

479

I messaged you on Tuesday.

480

I would love to collaborate with you.

481

I think we could be a powerhouse team.

482

Message me back if you're interested

or this is how to take the next

483

step, or if I don't hear from

you on Thursday, all move on.

484

Right.

485

You're very assertive.

486

You're very direct.

487

You're kind and considerate

of people's times.

488

But.

489

You're kind and considerate of

people's time and attention.

490

And busy-ness.

491

But you are also showing

up as a confident boss.

492

And when we are selling things, ladies,

we have got to show up as a boss.

493

Too many times where like, well, okay.

494

Um, yeah.

495

If what I'm have sounds

interesting, just let me know.

496

No, we're leaving money on the table.

497

No.

498

Why would we not?

499

Why would we want to hold back from

helping people who desperately need us?

500

I love the analogy of.

501

Having someone over for brunch and

you serve them, their food, and then

502

you pour yourself a nice big glass

of refreshing ice, cold orange juice,

503

but you don't offer any to your friend

and she's sitting there like, Hmm.

504

That looks really yummy.

505

I really like orange juice, but

she's kind of nervous to say

506

anything she doesn't want to ask.

507

And you're just gulping around.

508

You're just gulping down over there on

the other side of the table, when all

509

of a sudden you notice her stare and you

say, oh, Um, Do you, do you want some?

510

And she's like, yes, please.

511

I would love some delicious orange juice.

512

The whole time you're thinking,

well, if she wanted some sheet

513

ask, no people don't ask.

514

We have to offer.

515

We have something amazing that can change

their life, whether it be coaching or

516

an awesome product that we've built.

517

Or whatever it is that we're

putting out into the world.

518

Waiting until people ask for it is

doing them and ourselves a disservice.

519

So please have the confidence,

have that boss energy to say, I

520

have something that will help you.

521

Would you like it?

522

It costs this much.

523

Let's go.

524

All right.

525

So now that we've talked about

what we need it to be bosses

526

and where we need to show up.

527

And where we need to implement

those personality traits and.

528

And emotions to be a bit.

529

A better boss.

530

There are a few things we

need to eliminate to be the

531

best boss in our business.

532

The first one is insecurity.

533

I think I talked about

this already, right?

534

Confidence.

535

Yes.

536

Insecurity.

537

No, we can be insecure inside.

538

It's totally.

539

Okay.

540

I have insecurities come up all the

time, but I don't talk about them.

541

I don't, unless it's like my husband I'll

sit there and tell him, or my best friend,

542

I'm not going to tell everybody online

what I'm insecure about, because that

543

does not engender a lot of respect and

confidence when people want to hire me.

544

So I tell them that I can give

them results because I know I can.

545

And if I'm insecure about my pricing

or how many clients I did or didn't

546

have, then I have private conversations

with people that can help encourage me.

547

Okay.

548

So watch that insecurity

do not let that sneak out.

549

Also make sure you are not using

your business to feel better.

550

We all know how to feel better.

551

Right?

552

We think different thoughts.

553

Or we do nervous system regulation,

or we do exercises that will

554

regulate and calm our nervous system.

555

We don't chase goals to feel better

because what does it feel like once

556

we, once we've reached our goal?

557

Pretty much exactly the

way it feels right now.

558

Only now you've reached your goal.

559

Okay.

560

So if you're using your business or your

income goals or whatever, to feel better,

561

you're going to be sorely disappointed.

562

This is a really frustrating

realization for a lot of people.

563

And is.

564

Viviana.

565

And be quiet.

566

And can be seen in situations

like people winning the lottery.

567

They think they're going to feel so

much better and all their problems

568

are gonna be solved when they have

$3 million in the bank and lonely

569

and lo and behold, it doesn't happen.

570

And then they spend all their

money and they're in debt again.

571

And it's a big disaster

because they didn't change the

572

thoughts that they were having.

573

So don't wait for your business

to make you feel better.

574

You can feel better right now.

575

And then finally stop worrying

about the things you don't know yet.

576

You guys, this is one

of my biggest problems.

577

I love to worry about problems

that haven't occurred yet.

578

I'm like, well, when I'm making a million

dollars, what am I going to do with taxes?

579

Okay.

580

Bonnie chill.

581

You're not making a million

dollars yet, so it's not a problem.

582

Just chill out.

583

We'll get to that issue when we get.

584

We'll deal with that

issue when we get there.

585

But.

586

Pay attention to where

your brain is going.

587

Sometimes your brain just needs things

to chew on and things to worry about.

588

And it loves to do that over

the things that are unknown, the

589

things that are confusing or the

problems that haven't occurred yet.

590

So stop that step into that boss energy

and acknowledge that you will figure

591

it all out when the time is right.

592

My friends, I believe I so firmly.

593

My friends, I passionately believe

in your ability to be the boss in

594

both your business and your life.

595

And it's going to transform you from the

inside out, not just the helping people

596

in the making money, but stepping into

this confidence and knowing that you

597

have something that can change the world.

598

So take charge, be confident.

599

So take charge of your business

and your life and be confident that

600

with God, nothing is impossible.

601

I'll talk to you next week.