Episode #45 - Are You Leading A Life Of Fear?

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 45 of Speaking from the Heart.

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Today, we're going to talk about something

that is really a struggle for me that I'm

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still working through even in my own life,

that maybe having somebody talk about it

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might give you some inspiration to help

you start this conversation in your own

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life, which is really asking ourselves the

question: Are you leading a life in fear?

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For many years of my life, I have lived

in this sort of portal of sorts of

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thinking that everything is "peachy dory";

everything is okay; I am going to be

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okay with everything that is happening

in my life, and I love what I'm doing.

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I feel like I'm having the fullest

opportunities, having a stable job, having

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the ability to overcome the different

types of things that are happening

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with family and personal relationships.

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I feel that I have everything put

together because I am achieving

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so many different types of things.

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However, that stability and that

consistency that we enjoy in our

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lives are not necessarily the things

that we should have, because we

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should always live life on the edge.

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Wait, are you saying that I should do

sex, drugs, rock and roll, prostitution,

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all those different things, and I

should have that opportunity to just

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be free with experimenting with all

kinds of different things in my life,

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being able to travel across the world,

not having a care for my money, and

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having no responsibility whatsoever?

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Great!

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Sign me up!

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I'm not really advocating for any of that,

and if you did believe in any of those

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things that I mentioned, you might have

some things that you might need to be

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working on, but for many of us, we don't

have that ability to be a rebel, or have

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those vices in our life become objects

where we can create all these different

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types of other sort of activities

that we probably shouldn't be doing.

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I am certainly not advocating for any of

those things, and matter of fact, if I do

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say that for some people that go through

those sort of activities think that that

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is a life worth living, I think that you

need to look at what the bigger picture

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is as to whether that is really helping

you see your bigger, best version of who

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you are, but when someone actually is

looking at living a life outside of fear,

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what does that actually look like then?

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Does it include all those different

types of vices and devices that I

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mentioned earlier, or does it mean

doing something completely different

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so that we feel that we are fulfilled?

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For much of my life, especially as

a child growing up, I learned being

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responsible because I lived on a

farm in which my parents raised

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alpine nubien and dairy goats.

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Look them up.

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There are a crossbreed between a small

pygmy goat and a mountain goat, and

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having some of those adventures on the

farm, especially with the goats that

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my parents had, certainly allowed me

to learn the responsible efforts of

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raising other animals, let alone human

beings for that matter, but it allowed

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me to create this sort of temperament

of having ideas about what life

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would look like for me down the road.

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It allowed me to have some stability,

where sometimes that stability in my

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life, especially with some of the things

that I faced, were not there to begin

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with, but when you have those sort of

opportunities to find your true passion,

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especially living on a farm, why not?

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You should take advantage of those things,

and I was able to do so, not only through

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the video games that I played, which

I remember having my first Nintendo,

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and then a Super Nintendo, and then all

into PlayStation and other games, but

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also enjoyed the ability to read, which

allowed me to overcome some of my own

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fear about having this stigma of not being

able to read at a proficient level like

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other of my classmates for that matter,

but when we are trying to stick it to

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the fear concept, meaning we're trying

to overcome what is really happening

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in our lives, we really have to ask

ourselves: What's really holding us back?

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What is holding us from becoming something

that we really can be that we can truly

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become in our own lives, maybe for not

just ourselves, but for others as well?

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I think that leading the life that

we have means that we have to not

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just have stability, which Maslow's

Hierarchy of Needs really talks about

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with the pyramid of different types of

items that we need at the foundation

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before we reach self actualization, but

we need to talk about what is really

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happening within your mental conscience.

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In other words, what's the fuel that

you're feeding yourself that allows

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you to create not just the things

that you want to become, but the

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things that you're able to become.

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Now, we have been listening to this

show for a few months and I have been

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privileged to listen to a number of

guests, and you, yourself as listeners,

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being able to learn some of those lessons

that even my guests have gone through to

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create those best versions of themselves;

to overcome that fear that they had in

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their lives to become something more

opportunistic, more powerful, even

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more of a human being as a result.

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I always think that with having those

sort of stories on this show, I want

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to be able to dispel for you what it is

that you can do to lead that life outside

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of the concept of fear, because for the

longest time, many of us might have been

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going through that divorce; maybe having

that bad boss, which I know that many

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of us have at one point or another, just

tormenting us, making us feel inadequate,

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not being able to always satisfy the needs

of working for somebody else, as some of

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my fellow friends that are podcast hosts

call our W2 jobs, but maybe It's not just

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about what people are saying, or doing,

or making us feel that we should be always

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concerned about, but maybe we are our

own worst enemy of creating that fear.

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You say what, Joshua?

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I am the problem?

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Are you trying to tell me that

I am the one that is holding

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myself back from the unlimited

potential that I have in my life?

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I am saying, possibly; maybe it's not you.

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Maybe you have something that is a true

roadblock that is standing in the way.

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A big boulder that is just something

that you have to take a chisel and

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chisel at with your smaller hammer to

make sure that it breaks at the right

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focal point so you can move ahead.

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I know of many people that have that

struggle, and I'm literally going through

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that struggle right now so that I can

achieve my true financial independence

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from not being able to not have to work

a full time job and be able to dedicate

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more time for my clients and for the

bigger business that I have, especially

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as of recently, in a group of people

in which I'm presenting a workshop with

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currently, asking me, "What are you doing

to create that best version for yourself?

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Are you doing what you are set out to

do in your life?", but when you live

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in a life in which you are shackled

by chains and not willing to see what

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that bigger picture is It becomes

very tough to be able to dispel that

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fear that we have inside ourselves, so

there's a few warning signs that I'll go

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through right now that might be helpful

for you if you're not sure if you are

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struggling with the concept of fear.

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Number one: Are you actually loving

what you are enjoying in your life?

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I'm not just talking about that job that

you have, that nine to five or whatever

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hourly shift that you're listening

to, whether it's you are one of my

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listeners that listens at 1 or 2 a.

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m.

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in the morning.

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You could be going through a job cycle in

which you might like what you're doing,

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but it's not for the long run for what

you really want to do to help others.

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If you could certainly say to yourself,

with utmost importance, that you don't

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want to be in that job that you want

to be at, you're living in a life

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of fear, because maybe, you are not

doing what you were set out to do.

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Question number two: Are you living

the personal life that you think would

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be proud of not just the people that

look upon you, but even if nobody else

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was looking at you, that you would

be doing the right thing behind their

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back, and I, for the longest time, had

struggles with answering that question.

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You see, I was not very faithful to

a lot of different women that I had

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relationships with in my own life.

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I can list the number of different

people in which I have gone through

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so many different types of trials and

tribulations, and maybe some of those

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people that I have hurt are listening

to this right now, and I say to you that

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I'm sorry, but I didn't love myself, and

that was the reason why I had such a big

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problem being able to connect with others,

and to see what I was truly vested in

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becoming and breaking that fear cycle,

because I really didn't love who I was,

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and even if I was in front of somebody

that I did care about, or I wasn't behind

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someone that didn't really care about

me, I realized that I didn't love myself,

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which was what was more important than

anything else, so if you're living in

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a life that is personal in nature in

which you're doing things that are not

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cool, whether that is messing around with

somebody else, whether that is lying,

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or cheating, or stealing, and you're not

being honest about it, you are living in

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a life of fear, but besides even the job,

and even the personal life in which you

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might lead, there is one more important

question that I have to ask you in order

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to understand whether you are living in

a life of fear, and it is this question

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number three: Have you seen what the

truth is, not just in what your life

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is, but in what others are achieving?

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I have always been a looker from the

outside of all the different types of

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people that I've been envious about:

the person that has gotten married, the

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person that has made millions of dollars

doing what they enjoy the most, the people

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that are in positions in which they have

substantial spheres of influence, and I

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had become envious and jealous of every

single one of them that it created this

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fear of saying to myself, "I will never

be able to do that", and that was the

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moment in which I was lying, so loudly

inside my heart, that I realized that I

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was not doing what I really wanted to do.

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I was so scared of what other

people would think of me, think of

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others, to think of what I could do.

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I lived in that fear.

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I was scared of what I could potentially

be, even with all these degrees, even

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with all these things I've invested,

even with the smallest things in which

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recently, my car breaking down and

creating some of the issues that I

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had of just the self entitled, fearful

monger that I was creating inside of

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my own life; yes, this coach that runs

a business, was feeling, because I was

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not happy with what I was given as a

hand growing up, and as a result, I was

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jealous that other people don't have to

experience what I have to go through.

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That was tough for me to just sit back

and pause and think about the fact that

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I have been living in a life of fear

for the longest time, and that we can

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never sacrifice the fact that we can

do things to focus on not just fixing

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it, but also creating the opportunities

that we have in our lives, if we're just

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willing to break the cycle that we have.

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Now, there might be more than just those

three questions that I asked, and maybe

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that's more than just the car breaking

down, maybe it's more than messing around

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with somebody else, maybe it's more

than just not understanding what the

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level of responsibility is that you're

supposed to have in your life; maybe the

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situations that you have in your life are

completely different from the situations

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that I have, but here's the commonality:

we all go through stuff in our life.

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We go through shit that we normally

don't need to go through, and we keep

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asking ourself the question: Do I always

have to live in this moment of feeling

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persecuted, feeling like I can't do it,

feeling like I can't do anything right,

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knowing that we are just sacrificial lambs

of this bigger cause for somebody else?

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I'm here to tell you that you are

not that type of person, and whatever

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somebody ever said to you about that,

they were not telling the truth or

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speaking for you to advocate for

your own needs, wants, and desires.

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Living in a life of fear means that

you're sacrificing all those things that

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are dormant inside of you; being able to

be something that you never thought you

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could ever be is actually already there,

and it's just waiting to be unlocked.

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You have that potential inside of you

to do whatever you feel is necessary

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to be able to not just tell your story,

to share what's on your heart, to be

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willing to take yourself to that next

level, but when you live in a life of

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fear, you are sacrificing a lot more

than just what you are capable of doing.

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You're sacrificing what you can be as

an influence to others, so here's my

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message for you today: you can do this.

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You can live in a life of fulfillment.

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You can have stability and consistency by

just taking that first step into something

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that I know is completely messy, that

I know is completely crazy in doing,

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and that you might not feel certain

that you are making the right decision,

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but when you let go of living in that

life of fear, a multitude of different

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possibilities will open up and you will

be doing what you were always meant to

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do, because you have been destined to

do it, and you are not that same person

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that you were before, because you can

change the game that you've been playing

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with yourself to now say, "I am worthy.

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I am something in this world that

everybody should know', but more

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importantly, that you are not afraid

of becoming the best version of

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yourself, because you are worthy

of this, and you don't have to

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feel like you can't do anything.

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You have what it takes.

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All it takes for you is to not just take

that step forward, but to say that I

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am not going to live in a life of fear;

that I'm not going to be pushed down

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anymore, and that today is the moment

that everything changes, because you

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have the keys to turn that engine into

a world of possibilities, and I'm here

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not just to help you as your coach, but

to help you see what you can become.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 45 of Speaking From the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for speaking from

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